Текст книги "The Line Between"
Автор книги: Tamsyn Bester
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 20 страниц)
CHAPTER SEVE NTEEN
Dane
I WASN’T COMPLETELY unfamiliar with contrition. I’d lived with it for a long time after my sister died, and even allowed it to consume me for a while. It was the same feeling that crept over me earlier, but I couldn’t determine where it came from, whether it was from leaving Kennedy alone after several mind-numbing rolls between the sheets, or because I’d gone there with her in the first place. Would she get the wrong idea? Would she expect it to happen again? Would she be upset and feel like I’d used her?
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!
A heaviness settled in my chest as the warm water from the showerhead pelted my tired body. It was early, and I had to force myself out of bed to get ready for practice with the team. Having gotten only two hours of sleep, I was sure it was going to be a nightmare.
I shut the shower off, and threw on a clean set of athletic clothes, trying to mute thoughts of Kennedy and what we’d done. It was difficult, especially when it was all stuck on replay in my head.
Play. Her body opened and welcomed me as I slid inside her. Pause. Pink flesh, glistening with arousal, taking all of me to the hilt.
Play. Her body strained, so close to the edge, eyes wide, mouth parted. Pause. The violent way she shook, and clenched around me, willing me to fall apart at her mercy.
I shook my head. Stop.
If I kept thinking about it, watching the images in my head, I’d have a hard-on all day, and that wasn’t something I needed to worry about, especially if I was going to have lunch with my mother.
My father was out of town on business, and my mother had called to invite me to lunch. I’d been avoiding her this week, with it being my birthday, but something in her voice reminded me that she had lost just as much as I had, and the last thing I wanted her to feel was that she’d lost me too. I didn’t want her to live with that, so I agreed to meet her at a coffee shop in Brighton as soon as I was done with practice.
Reid was already in the kitchen when I left my room. He was leaning against the counter messing around on his phone – probably texting Jade – with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He looked up when he heard me come in, and pocketed his phone like I’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t have been.
“Mornin’.” I greeted him, and set about making some coffee for myself.
“Mornin’,” he replied, watching me with curious eyes. “You got in late this morning. Have a good night?”
I couldn’t help but stiffen at his observation. I knew he was suspicious last night, so I’d been extra careful to sneak out of the party a little later to avoid him.
“It was alright,” I replied, my back to him. It was a lie, a big one at that. It had been one of the most intense nights of my life, even if it had left me feeling confused, and contrite afterwards. I didn’t want to cheapen the time I’d spent with Kennedy by playing it off as nothing, because it wasn’t nothing, but I had to admit how it had fucked with my head. I was too caught up in the urgency of it all to stop and think about how I’d feel when it was all said and done, and now I was wishing I’d thought it through. Not just for my sake, but for Kennedy’s too.
“Do anything special after you left?” Asked Reid. There was an undercurrent of smugness in his voice that had me turning to face him.
“Why do you ask?”
His mouth dipped into a smirk. Bastard.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking out. I know exactly where you went.”
My breath faltered. He couldn’t have figured out where I was, or who I was with. I was too careful. Unless Jade had said something.
Fuck. Did she hear us?
Kennedy and I had both tried to stay quiet. The energy between us, the sexual intensity of it, had me wanting to make her scream until her voice was hoarse, but I knew we’d be caught if we were too loud.
“You spying on me again?” I asked, feeling more agitated by the second.
“No,” he chuckled. “I have my sources.”
“What did these sources say exactly, because I can tell you they’re probably talking shit.”
“I know you weren’t in your bed when I got home last night,” he said. “And those sources might have mentioned that you were with a certain redhead.”
Redhead?
Oh.
Amy.
My muscles relaxed in relief. He thought I was with Amy. I could deal with that, maybe even run with it.
My mouth lifted into a smile I wasn’t really feeling. “What can I say? Maybe your sources were right after all. She wanted the D, and I couldn’t resist.”
Couldn’t resist was fucking right. But there sure as hell wasn’t a redhead involved – only a sexy blonde with purple in her hair.
So fucking sexy.
“You’re a horn dog,” said Reid. “That girl is going to think you’re dating.”
“Nah,” I waved him off. “She knows the deal. It was a one-time thing.”
I’d forgotten whom we were talking about. I had no way of knowing what Kennedy would be thinking after last night, but I needed to make sure we didn’t have a repeat. I was supposed to hate her, after all, and after one night with her, I knew having more would ruin me. And hurt her. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live with that guilt.
“I highly doubt Amy believes that. I just hope you wrapped it before you tapped it, brother. God knows where that girl has been.”
Right. Amy. That’s who we were talking about.
“Yeah, you know I don’t want any illegitimate kids running around,” I replied. Speaking about this conjured up the memory of how Kennedy’s eyes widened at the sight of my dick, and the apadravya piercing I had. She was fascinated by it, and when he brushed her fingers over the sensitive head, I almost lost it right there.
Fuck.
It was going to be a long day.
The more I thought about her, our night together, the tighter my chest became. I didn’t want to regret it or wish it away, but I couldn’t escape the feeling that it was a mistake.
Problem was, it was a mistake I knew was going to be hard not to repeat.
PRACTICE TOOK A little longer on the account of me forgetting the plays at home. I was completely off my game, but the guys on my team knew better than to bring it up. I was particularly annoyed with Chase, and Gavin, and didn’t even pretend not knowing why.
I’d called my mother to let her know I was going to be a little late, so when I walked into the coffee shop she was already waiting for me. Her honey blonde hair was tied in a bun at the base of her neck, and her make-up was impeccably done to match her outfit. It was all for show though, because beneath that was a woman struggling to move on with her life without drowning in her depression.
She saw me approaching her table, and her blue eyes flickered with life. It had been too long since I’d seen her, and she looked thinner, more fragile. An unwelcome pang settled in my chest, borne of self-condemnation and remorse. I should have been there for her more, but I was too busy keeping my own head above water. I wanted that to change. For Jewel.
“Sweetheart.” My mother stood, and I wasted little time to wrap her in a gentle hug. Her familiar Chanel perfume was a strange kind of comfort, bringing back memories of a happier time in my life.
“It’s good to see you, mom.” I kissed her head, holding onto her a little longer. She let go, and I took a seat next to her. A waitress took our order, and what followed was an awkward silence filled with everything I wanted to say but didn’t know how to. I had no idea how to start, and apparently my mother didn’t either.
She broke the silence once our coffee’s had arrived, and bent down to reach for something under the table. She placed a box wrapped in silver paper in front of me. “For your birthday,” she said, a soft, sad smile on her face.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” I replied. I didn’t want to upset her, but I was grappling with too many emotions at once and was dangerously close to losing the internal fight for control.
“I didn’t,” she replied. “Open it.”
I ripped the paper off with little enthusiasm, and when there was nothing left it revealed a black box with the Rolex symbol on it. I flipped the lid and found a vintage Rolex watch perched in the middle.
I looked at my mother. “Mom, this is…”
“It was my grandfather’s watch, from 1930. I wanted to wait until you turned twenty one, but…”
Her words trailed off, but I knew what she was going to say. We’d had that argument many times in the months after my sisters’ death. My mother pleaded with me to make better choices, and live a better life because before we knew it, Jewel was gone, and if I carried on with my drinking, and lewd behavior, I would have had nothing to show for my life.
I stared down at the watch, and rubbed the face. It had a chrome steel case, with black leather straps that didn’t even look old. I thought it was quite fitting though; a harsh reminder that time was something we couldn’t take for granted.
“I love it.” I leaned over and gave my mother a peck on the cheek. “I’ll put it in a safe place.”
My mother shifted in her seat. “I’m sorry your father couldn’t make it. He had some business to take care of.”
Of course he did. He’d been working more and more, but I guess that’s just how he dealt with his own grief. I pursed my lips, and gave a brisk nod.
“He’s having some trouble with Anthony Monroe,” she added. “But that’s been going on for years.”
The mention of Kennedy’s father twisted my insides. From what I’d heard he was a shrewd businessman, and an even worse human being. Reid had let slip that Kennedy had been at her father’s house when she came home looking like a bloody wreck, and I tried to squelch thoughts of him hurting her that way. I didn’t have to protect her, but dammit, half the time I wanted to.
“Did you know Kennedy was back?”
My mothers’ question caught me by surprise, and her gaze spoke of understanding, the kind that told me she not only knew what Kennedy had meant to my sister, but to me too. It was unnerving.
“Yes,” I replied. I cleared my throat. “She goes to Brighton.”
“Have you seen her?”
“No,” I lied. The words came out too quickly, and my mother quirked a brow.
I rushed to defend myself. “I know Reid has, because Jade and Kennedy live together, but I’ve been too busy with classes, and helping Coach Ford to get out.”
I changed the topic and asked my mother what she’d been doing to keep herself busy.
“Oh, I’ve been redecorating the house,” my mother replied. She perked up, and I listened intently. I needed to escape thoughts and talk of Kennedy, if only for a little while. I’d be dealing with that…issue…when I got back to campus.
“That reminds me,” my mother added, “Your father and I will be away for Thanksgiving. Would you like to join us?”
I didn’t have to think it through before replying, “No, that’s okay, thanks mom. Reid invited me to his house this year.”
Her face fell, only this time I didn’t feel quite so guilty. I hadn’t spent Thanksgiving with my parents since my senior year of high school, and it had more to do with my father than the absence of my twin. We couldn’t be in the same room for more than ten minutes before fighting over one thing or another, and sitting around a table pretending to play nice wasn’t appealing.
“Oh, that’s okay. But promise me we’ll do this again soon? I don’t see you enough, and I miss you. I know your father does too, even if he doesn’t say it.”
I swallowed. “Sure, mom. I promise.”
We chatted for a short while longer until my mother said she had a few errands to get done before she had to go back home. We said our goodbyes, and I watched her climb into a town car and drive away before I headed home myself. The heaviness from earlier was still looming, and by the time I stopped in the lot outside our dorm, I knew exactly what I had to do.
CHAPTER EIGHT EEN
Kennedy
TAYLOR SWIFT’S ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ played through my earphones, and all I could do was laugh at the irony. It had been a week since what I referred to as the ‘Dane Incident’, and he made no secret of the fact that he was avoiding me. Again. So, like any self-respecting woman in my situation would do, I brushed it off even though it hurt, and kept myself too busy to obsess over it.
The cafeteria was crowded, but I was able to find an empty table after picking up a cheeseburger, and some fries for lunch. Not the healthiest food choice, but I was too deep into my ‘I Have No More Fucks To Give’ phase to be bothered.
Jade dropped her textbooks onto the table with a thud, and dropped down next to me. I removed my earphones just as Ashley followed suit.
“Seriously, these professors are trying to prevent me from living long enough to attend finals,” said Jade. “My Art History professor puts the ‘itch’ in ‘bitch’.”
“I know what you mean,” replied Ashley. “I’ve been working non-stop in the labs for the last month. I’m exhausted.”
She started eating her usual – chicken salad with lite dressing – while Jade and I dove into our burgers.
“You’ve been quiet his week,” remarked Jade. She gently jabbed me in the ribs to get my attention. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve just been busy prepping for finals. I think I may have finally decided on a major.”
At least that was the one thing to come of my self-induced weeklong social hiatus.
“And?”
“Educational Psychology, with a minor in English.”
“That’s great,” Jade enthused. “Definitely sounds like something you’d enjoy.”
I nodded, filling my mouth with more food just to avoid making idle chitchat. I wasn’t really in the mood for conversation.
“Good God, that boy is hotter than a heat wave in July,” said Ashley. The change of subject was welcomed, since I no longer wanted to be talking about me, but when I turned in my seat, and noticed who she was talking about I wished I’d left my earphones in.
Jade watched me from the corner of her eye, but I kept my gaze down, pretending not be aware of everything Ashley was prattling on about.
“He’s just too damn sexy,” she said, ogling him with open appreciation.
“He’s trouble,” replied Jade. “And he can be a total douche.”
“Douche or not, I’d happily become a notch on his bedpost for one night with him.”
I cringed, and ducked my head to hide my reaction. They had no idea what had happened so I couldn’t very well tell her that being tossed aside after one night with him sucked. Even though I was over it.
Yeah, right.
“Rumors have been circulating like wildfire this week,” Ashley remarked. It was so casual, and yet I’d tensed at the thought of someone knowing about Dane and me.
“What rumors?” Asked Jade. She’d stopped eating, but unlike me it probably had less to do with a lack of appetite and more to do with her need to be up-to-date on campus gossip.
“I heard he’s been seeing that Amy girl from the school dance team, as in dating her.”
I kept my face neutral, but inside I felt a little humiliated. How could I have been so stupid and still so willing when I predicted that this was bound to happen?
Silly Kennedy.
“Dane never dates,” Jade argued. “And we’ve known him a lot longer than that slut has.”
Ashley shrugged. “Apparently he’s been at her sorority house all week. She’s been telling everyone that the sex is – ”
I stood up abruptly, knocking my chair over. “Shit,” I muttered, picking it up. “I forgot. I have a class in fifteen minutes, and I’m going to be late. I’ll see you later, okay?”
I avoided Jade’s worried eyes, as well as the stares of my peers, and left the cafeteria before I could hear anything else about Dane and his supposed girlfriend. I knew it was probably bullshit, just another lie churned by the Brighton rumor mill, but it wasn’t the girlfriend part that bothered me so much. It was the part that it could have quite possibly been true, thanks to Dane’s stellar reputation as a man whore that niggled at me. The thought of him having sex with someone else shouldn’t have even fazed me, and as much as I tried like hell to deny it, it got to me.
Having Dane make me feel so small reminded me of when I was twelve – the first time I thought I’d had my heart broken. I’d asked Kyle Mathers to the school dance, and when he turned me down in front of everyone they laughed. I couldn’t understand his rejection, when days before that I’d heard he was going to ask me first.
Then I found out why.
Dane had told Kyle and every other boy in our grade that I had a problem with body odor, and to a thirteen-year-old boy that was a pretty big deal, but to a twelve-year-old girl it was one of the most humiliating things ever. Charlie had found me crying in the middle of my bed, and tried his hardest to comfort me. His efforts weren’t completely in vain but Dane had still managed to make me feel small, and insignificant. Though his pranks had gotten worse over the years, I made a promise to myself that he would never make me feel so worthless again, and for the most part I succeeded.
Until today.
Hearing what Ashley had said made me feel like that twelve-year-old girl again. And the absolute worst part? I couldn’t even be angry with Dane when I was to blame. He’d made me no promises, yet I was dumb enough to go against my better judgment and sleep with him anyway.
No, this wasn’t his fault.
It was all on me.
As I walked around campus aimlessly, mulling it over in my head, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, and checked to see that I’d received a text message from Jade.
We’re hitting Kolony tonight with Ash and Grady for the Pimps & Ho’s party. Tell me you’re in?
It was a Friday night, and Kolony was bound to be insane. An idea popped into my head, and the need to let go of everything ‘Dane’ related, roared to life inside me. I typed out a response, smiling.
First round is on me ;)
I had a plan, and if I was lucky, it would make me forget about Dane long enough to rid myself of any shame or lingering humiliation. He might have seen me as nothing more than a one night stand, but I was determined to see him as nothing more than a speed bump on the long, windy road that was my life.
GRADY WALKED INTO my bedroom and let out a low whistle. “Good God, honey bee, you’re going to give the guys at Kolony an aneurism dressed like that.”
I smiled, and applied the rest of my mascara before turning to face him. “Isn’t that the whole point of the ‘Pimps & Hoes’ theme?”
His brows shot up, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “This,” he waved his hand in my direction, “my little tootsie roll, is more like high end escort instead of street corner hooker. Those boys are going to be falling over their tongues when they see you.”
My eyes rolled. “Please, the girls will take one look at you, and wish you played for our team. That suit is very Christian Grey.”
I straightened and twisted around facing my floor length mirror. I had to admit that my little black dress was kind of short, but it still covered the important bits, and also made me feel sexy. The smooth black material hugged my body, ending mid-thigh with a low back, and a flattering sweetheart neckline that worked well with my new push up bra. I curled my hair, and allowed it to hang over my shoulders to show off my exposed back.
“Looking at you right now, I wished I batted for your team. I wasn’t kidding when I said tongues are going to wag,” replied Grady.
I laughed, and applied some red lipstick as the finishing touch. “I just want to have fun,” I said. “You’re the only guy I plan on going home with anyway.” I winked and he simply shook it off with a chuckle.
“Okay, deuces, let’s get this party on the road!” Jade shouted from the kitchen. Despite my earlier mood, I was excited to have a night out with my friends.
“Where’s Ashley?” I asked as soon as we were in the kitchen.
“She bailed last minute. Something to do with a biochemistry assignment gone wrong,” replied Jade.
“That’s too bad,” said Grady, waving his hand in dismissal. “We’ll send her pictures from the club. Now let’s get the hell out of here so I can go find me a Pimp.”
BY THE TIME we arrived at the club, it was already well on its way to being filled to the brim. People queued outside, and from the looks of it the line ran all the way around the corner. It wasn’t unusual for a Friday night, but the ‘Pimps & Hoes’ theme was so popular that many people drove an hour from Brighton just to attend.
I slipped my hand into the crook of Grady’s arm, and we followed Jade to the door where the bouncer, Bobby, let us in. They’d definitely gone all out with the décor, and had even gone so far as to have stripper poles situated throughout the large space.
There was very little room to move around, but after a few shoves, and some elbows to the ribs, we made it to the bar. Jade ordered us some tequila shots to get the night going, and included a few bottles of water to help us pace ourselves.
“We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don’t!” Shouted Jade.
Grady replied, “Amen to that!” And we clinked our shot glasses, and swallowed back the vile clear liquid. I coughed, and blinked back the way my eyes immediately teared up.
“You okay, honey bee?” Grady rubbed my back, and I nodded.
He surveyed the crowd, and when his eyes stopped on someone in the middle of the dance floor, he kissed each of us on the cheek, and made his way out into the crowd. He looked good in a light grey tailored Armani suit, black button up shirt, and just to stand out, a red silk tie. His hair was perfectly coifed, as it always was, and tonight he had a glint in his eye that I’d never noticed before.
Jade came up to my side, and I noticed that she too was scanning the crowd. When she came up empty, she turned to face me. “I need to ask you something, but I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
I looked at her, and saw genuine apprehension on her face. She nibbled at her lip, and the nervousness radiating from her was unusual. She was always so confident, and never hesitated to tell me, or anyone for that matter, what was on her mind.
“You can ask me anything,” I replied honestly.
“Well,” she hesitated, looking around the room before turning back to me. “Did something happen between you and Dane the other night? At the Halloween party?”
I schooled my expression as well as I could. Jade would know if I was lying. “What makes you say that?”
“You’ve been acting really weird since then, and according to Reid, Dane has been too.”
“Yeah, sure.” I rolled my eyes. “Having a new ‘chew toy’ is hardly weird behavior for him.”
Jade’s eyes remained fixed on my face, but they were searching. “You know, for what it’s worth, I don’t believe a word Ash said.”
Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, I replied, “Doesn’t matter to me.”
“That’s just it, Kennedy. I think it does. I saw the way you reacted at lunch.”
This conversation was messing with my plan, and I needed to divert. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind, and tonight is about letting our hair down. Can we forget about him and everything Ash said, please?”
Jade remained quiet for a moment, and for a second I thought she’d seen through my bullshit. She always had an uncanny ability to read me, and I hoped that she’d drop it, even if it were just for tonight.
“On one condition,” she finally said.
“And that would be?”
“You tell me if anything happens. I don’t want you to think you can’t come to me just because I’m friends with Reid.”
“Of course I’d tell you,” I lied. “Not that anything will happen.”
I hated lying to her, but I was afraid that she just wouldn’t understand. Hell, I didn’t even understand how I’d gotten myself into this situation, and to explain it would only make me feel worse. Jade would blame Dane when in reality it wasn’t his fault.
“If you say so.”
She wasn’t satisfied, but she had to accept it. I wasn’t willing to get into it with her, especially when all I wanted to do was erase it from my mind completely.
Beyonce’s ‘Baby Boy’ boomed through the speakers, and I had the urge to start dancing. Jade had the same idea, and after another tequila shot, she grabbed my hand and I followed her to the dance floor. We started moving to the beat, grinding our bodies in unison. The music filled my ears, my lungs, my limbs, and soon the rest of the world faded away. The song changed, and Kings Of Leon’s ‘Sex on Fire’ bled through the crowd. I was high on the energy pulsating around me, and focused on feeling the lyrics, how they made my pulse race, and my skin dampen with a light sheen of sweat. I wasn’t drunk, not even close, but anyone watching me could’ve made that assumption.
I spotted the giant speaker next to the DJ booth, and before Jade could talk me out of it, I hoisted myself up. I slipped my shoes off, dropping them to the floor, and reveled in the way the sounds of the music vibrated beneath my feet. I bent my legs and dropped down, swaying my hips while pulling my fingers through my hair. On the way up, I trailed my hands up my sides, and moved my head from side-to-side in a slow, seductive motion.
I startled when a pair of hands grabbed my hips, and jerked me from the speaker. I opened my eyes, and found a furious-looking Dane glaring at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but one moment I was standing, and the next I was in the air being flung over Dane’s shoulder.
“Dane!” I squealed, trying to pull my dress down at the back before the people got to see my butt cheeks. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He either didn’t hear me, or he was purposefully ignoring me. My bet was on the latter.
His steps were determined, and he shouldered his way through the crowd while carrying my weight like it was nothing. The people we passed gave us strange looks, but no one bothered to help. Apparently, being hauled out of a club on the shoulders of a guy was the norm, and no one seemed to think that anything sinister was going on.
I squirmed in his hold, looking around frantically to see if I could spot Jade. I found her in a corner, close to the bar, but she was preoccupied with…wait, was she making out with Reid? I was being jostled around so much it was hard to tell.
“Dane,” I hit his back with my fists. “Put me down! Now.”
Rather than respond with words like a normal human being, he embraced his inner caveman and slapped my butt.
The sting traveled over my skin, and I jerked in surprise. That was actually kind of…hot?
Oh my God. You are hopeless, Kennedy.
The door opened, and I saw Bobby smirking as Dane stormed past.
“Thanks for the help,” I yelled.
He snickered, and replied with, “Doesn’t look like you need it.”
Seriously? I was being dragged out of the club on Dane’s shoulders, kicking, and hitting him, and no one thought I might’ve needed help? Idiots.
“Where are you taking me?” I hissed, turning my head to try and look at Dane. From his profile I could tell his jaw was tense, and his brows were furrowed. Still, he ignored me, and once he’d marched across the parking lot to his car, he finally let me drop to my feet. His arm was tight around me as I slid down the front of his body, but I didn’t have a chance to notice how my body reacted. The door behind me swung open, and Dane lifted me by my waist to deposit me in the front passenger seat. I scowled when he shut the door, and rounded the hood.
He climbed in, and turned the ignition.
I folded my arms across my chest with a huff. “What the hell is your fucking problem?”
He finally cut his eyes in my direction, and what I saw not only terrified me but excited me too.
“You, Kennedy,” he replied harshly. “You’re my fucking problem.”
