Текст книги "Into the Deep"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Before Jake left us, he caught up with Lowe to have a private word with him. Whatever passed between them, they returned more at peace with one another. Lowe even winked at me to let me know everything was all right between us.

I wasn’t sure how everyone else would react to the news that Jake was going back to Edinburgh because we had no self-control.

A bundle of nerves, guilt, and excitement, I was quiet while Jake told the group he needed to go back to the city. When the taxi arrived and Jake climbed inside, I watched from the balcony, questioning over and over if I’d done the right thing.

“So tell us, Charley,” Denver asked lazily, “is he going back to escape you or is he going back so he doesn’t fuck you?”

I stiffened at the question and looked over my shoulder, my eyes resting on Claudia first. She looked back at me, her eyebrows drawn together in concern. I nodded slowly at her. “The latter.”

My friends murmured to one another but I didn’t hear what they were saying. I was too busy watching as Claudia marched toward me with purpose. Without a word she grabbed my hand and hauled me out of the sitting room and down the hall into Beck’s room. She shut the door behind us and leaned against it, giving me a look that clearly said, “Go on …”

I shrugged helplessly. “He still loves me.”

“Well, that’s obvious. It has been for at least two months now.”

Narrowing my eyes on her, I mirrored her stance.

“Well?” She threw up her hands, giving me a confused smile. “Tell me this is a good thing. Right? You’re happy?”

“Yes. I mean, I’m scared and we have so much to work through and work out … but … it’s four years later and I still feel … incomplete without him.” I smiled sadly.

The romantic in her rose to the fore and she quickly blinked away tears. “So you’re giving him a shot?”

I slumped down on the nearest bed, heaved a massive sigh, and flopped onto my back. “Yes. I told him I hadn’t moved on but that I might never trust him again, but he wants to try. We’ve decided to take it slow for us and for Melissa. Apparently we have no self-control so he went back in case being in such close quarters proved too big a temptation.” I rolled my head so I could watch her reaction.

Claudia bit her lip. “And Melissa? I was right? He doesn’t love her?”

Just the thought of Jake loving Melissa felt like someone raking sharp nails across my insides. “He does. But it’s not what we had, Claud. I let myself be convinced that all my memories of our relationship were somehow blown out of proportion, that I’d only imagined the intense connection between us. It’s real. I haven’t forgotten and neither has he. I can’t describe what it feels like. It’s just … like a rope binding us together.” I sat up slowly and finished solemnly, “I have to give us one more chance or I might never move on.”

My best friend walked quietly across the room and sat down beside me. With a small smile on her lips, she took my hand in hers. “Then I’m happy for you and I’m going to be there for you. It sucks about Melissa, but it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just timing. Sometimes timing is a bitch.”

I squeezed her hand and nudged her shoulder affectionately with mine. “You don’t need this crap with everything that’s going on with you.”

“Nonsense. This is big, and no matter what’s going on with me, I want you to always feel like you can talk to me. People can judge you and Jake and take sides with the whole Melissa thing but I’m not people. I’m your friend. I’m just here for you.”

Feeling myself getting emotional, I drew in a shuddery breath. “I pretty much freaking love you.”

She laughed softly. “I pretty much freaking love you too.”

We sat for a while, holding onto one another until Claudia finally drew away. “I suppose we better face the music. Just so you know, Beck will be cool. Jake tells him everything and he drops hints to me every now and then. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to confuse you, especially when all I had was Beck’s nonsensical hints and not facts, but looking back, I get the impression that Beck has known all along that Jake was in love with you. I think he’s been rooting for you both. So you’re golden there. Getting the best friend on your side is one of the biggest hurdles.”

I grinned at her. “Thank you.”

In answer she hauled me to my feet and I followed her back out into the sitting room. Everyone shut up when I walked back in and I instantly slid on my badass blank face so they’d assume I didn’t give a crap what they thought.

If I was just getting back together with Jake, I wouldn’t care. But the situation was complicated by Melissa and I did care about her getting hurt and I cared that my friends would see me as some kind of ogre because of it.

“About time,” Matt grumbled sleepily. “The foreplay between you and Jake was killing me. I was starting to feel bad for Mel.” He blinked rapidly. “Hey, do you think she’d go for me?”

“You’re a douche,” Lowe replied.

Matt thought about that for a second and then shrugged.

“Personally, I think it’s naebody’s business but Charley’s, Jake’s, and Melissa’s,” Rowena put in pointedly and stood. “So let’s put Charley out of her misery and go tae this bloody distillery before it closes.”

I knew I liked that girl for a reason.

The tour of the distillery was fun and Claudia definitely tried to take my mind off Jake by pushing whisky samples my way, but I couldn’t get him out of my head.

It grew even harder when he called me three hours after his departure.

I wandered away from the group, stepping outside into the parking lot, and answered. “Hey,” I said a little breathily, my nerves jumping all over the place.

“Hey.” His deep voice rippled through me and I closed my eyes, knowing that despite all the confusion and complication, if he’d been there with me, I’d be on him in a second. “Just wanted to check in.”

“Make sure I haven’t changed my mind?” I teased, only half joking.

“Something like that.”

“Well, I haven’t.”

“Good.”

I sighed. “How are you?”

“Got to admit, baby, I’m not looking forward to arriving in Edinburgh when you’re in Fort William. I wish you were here. I can’t believe we decided to give things a shot again and I’m on a train five minutes later traveling hundreds of miles away from you.”

“I know. But you were right. We need to take things one day at a time.”

“Yeah.” He sucked in a deep breath. “So are you at the distillery?”

“Yup. We got a tour and everything. But I barely remember a minute of it. My mind is kind of wandering …”

Jake was silent a moment before he told me quietly, “I feel like the biggest shit in the world right now because even though I’m sad about Melissa and I feel guilty as hell, I’m also pretty fucking excited we’re getting back together.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course, Jake. I wouldn’t have said yes to you otherwise.”

“Good, baby. I’m glad.”

“We still have a lot of things to talk about …”

“I know,” he replied quietly. “For now just tell me that when you get back on Sunday, you’ll meet me at Milk at nine o’clock so we can start over.”

I smiled tremulously. “I can do that.”

That night I lay in the bed next to Claudia’s and stared at the ceiling. I tried counting sheep, I tried going over song lyrics in my head, and I tried making lists of things I needed to do in an effort to bore myself to sleep. Yet, sleep eluded me. In the end, all I could think about was Jake and if I’d acted too impulsively by agreeing to get back together with him.

“You can’t sleep, can you?” Claudia’s voice surprised me.

Startled, I turned to her. “Apparently you can’t, either.”

“It’s because you’re thinking so loud.”

I grimaced. “I can’t help it.”

My friend flipped onto her side, tucking her hands beneath her pillow. “Do you want me to take your mind off it?”

“Uh, yes, please.”

Claudia’s expression was serious as she replied, “My mom called while you were taking a shower.”

Sensing something big, I twisted around onto my side to face her so she’d know she had my full attention. “What did she say?”

“She told me my real father’s name. She tracked him down for me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “She did? Wow.”

Claudia nodded, her mouth twisted in a little moue. “Apparently she’s more of a human that I thought. It’s the Botox—it confuses things. Anyway, his name is Dustin Tweedie.”

I blinked. “I know that name. Why do I know that name?”

“Because he was a pretty famous artist but he retired ten years ago. Google him. His art was weird but rich people buy weird shit. I would know. I live with two of them.”

It took a lot of self-restraint not to pick up my phone and put his name into Google. “Do you know anything else about him?”

“Just that he was brought up in England. Mom found out that he’s still a bachelor and he lives in Barcelona now.”

“My God, Claud. Are you okay?”

Her shoulder moved up to her ear. “I don’t know. I’m thinking I should just forget about him. Move on. He doesn’t know I exist and he lives in freaking Barcelona, so … it’s stupid to … I don’t even …”

Hearing her confusion and the crack in her voice, I slipped out from under my covers and darted across the room to her bed, my feet protesting against the icy cold floor. Claudia shimmied back, holding her duvet up, and I slipped in beside her. We faced each other and I reached for her hand. “Take your time thinking about what you want to do. Just know it’s not stupid if you’re thinking about reaching out to him. We’d all think about it if we were in your shoes.”

She nodded, biting on her lip, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I’m just tired of feeling like I’m constantly looking for something I never had. I’m not a kid anymore, Charley. I need to grow up and just accept what hand I’ve been dealt.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Never accept what hand you’ve been dealt if it’s not the hand you wanted. You deserve more than that. You deserve to win. Put all the other crap out of your head and just think about what you want.”

Her grip on my hand tightened so much, it was almost painful.

“Did you tell Beck?”

She shook her head. “He gets really mad about the whole thing—”

Because the idiot is in love with you!

“—and I didn’t want to turn the evening bad. He’s in a really good mood.”

“Are you two still … platonic?” I asked carefully.

“Oh no,” she shook her head, “you’re not getting to play matchmaker just because you and Jake are on your way to sorting your shit out. No, no, no.”

I laughed softly. “I just want you to be happy.”

Claudia made a face and replied airily, “I’m always happy.”

I squeezed her hand and whispered, “Not fake happy. Real happy.”

“You know what,” she whispered back, “I’m not unhappy. I’ve got you and I’ve got Jim and Delia Mom and Andie, and yes, Beck and I may be completely dysfunctional, but I have him too. And maybe one day I’ll have my own Jake. I’m not unhappy, Charley. I’m just trying to be hopeful and hoping that being hopeful doesn’t make me a child.”

“You’re not a child, Claud. You’re just human.”

We snuggled close to each other, our heads resting against one another. “It’s been some trip, huh?” she teased.

In answer I started to laugh until Claudia was giggling uncontrollably, our hilarity muffled by our pillows so we wouldn’t wake our friends.

Truth be told, I felt like I was going on my very first date.

By some miracle, I’d gotten through the rest of our trip in Fort William. Honestly, because we weren’t there to climb hills or do anything remotely relevant to the location, and because we didn’t have a car so we could check out the surrounding areas, we were pretty bored by the end of our stay, ready to get back to the city. Me more so than anyone.

I’d gone back and forth, back and forth on my feelings until I realized that every time I even thought about picking up the phone to call Jake and tell him I’d made a mistake, my chest burned with denial. I was doing this. I had to suck it up and accept my decision.

Once I’d gotten that through my thick head, I was pretty excited about getting back to him. Yes, I was nervous, and yes, I had no idea what our future held, but that would be the same in any relationship.

We got back to Edinburgh around five o’ clock. Lowe walked at my side as we ambled back to our apartments and as soon as we hit the Royal Mile, he grinned at me.

“What?” I frowned up at him.

“You. You’re a bundle of energy. You’re dying to get back to him.”

“Am not,” I grumbled petulantly.

Lowe laughed. “You are too. Did I tell you Jake Caplin is the luckiest son of a bitch I’ve ever met?”

“What am I now? Your soundboard for smooth talking? If I am, I’m giving you two big thumbs up on that one.”

Chuckling, Lowe threw his arm around my shoulders. “So fucking cute.”

I frowned. “You’re going to keep calling me that because you know I hate it, right?”

“Oh yeah.”

Despite growling at him in irritation, underneath the snarl I felt easier and more assured that Lowe was acting cool. We hadn’t talked much the last two days and I was worried that I might’ve wrecked our friendship. There was no need to worry. With Lowe, what you saw, you got, and he meant it when he said he was rooting for me.

Claudia, Denver, Rowena, and I said goodbye to the guys on the Cowgate, my eyes darting up to their building before I hurried to follow my friends back to ours. I did not expect to be greeted by a wide-eyed Maggie as Claud and I strolled into the kitchen.

“Well, is it true?” Maggie asked, excitedly shoving the papers in front of her to the side. “Did Jake Caplin break up with Melissa Bouchard for you?”

I blinked rapidly, feeling the color leave my cheeks. How had news traveled that quickly?

“Oh my God, he did?” If it was possible her eyes widened even more. “Gemma is not going to be happy. You know she and Melissa are friends, right?”

Actually, I didn’t know that. Fabulous. Now I’d have to live with Gemma giving me dirty looks for the next four months. Blowing the breath out between my lips, I made a sad face at Claudia. “I need a drink.”

Claudia tried not to laugh at my uncharacteristic pout and failed. “I think we have vodka somewhere.”

“That’ll do it.”

The buzz from my two shots of vodka had worn off, which was probably why I was a nervous wreck by the time nine o’clock came along. It turned out that everyone was meeting at Milk because the guys were doing a set.

I followed Claudia past the bar toward the archway at the end of the room and shook out my hands, trying to fight off the churning in my stomach. I was not a nervous person by nature and I really hated it that Jake could get me into such a state.

However, as soon as our eyes met across the room, the nerves transformed into excited butterflies and Claudia smiled at me. We made our way through the cluttered room, dodging chairs and rounding tables, and the whole time my eyes never left Jake’s. He stood when he saw us, and Denver, the only member of The Stolen not onstage setting up, followed his gaze at the same time Rowena did.

Everything and everyone but Jake disappeared as he moved around the table and came to a stop inches before me. I leaned back and gave him my best cocky smile. “So you’re the mysterious guy I’m supposed to be meeting,” I said, in reminiscence of the first thing he’d ever said to me.

Recognizing it, Jake’s eyes glittered. “The mysterious newbie. Jake,” he offered me his hand, his expression teasing.

I took it, feeling a sense of peace slide through me as we clasped hands. “Charley.”

“I know. You’re famous. Supergirl.”

I laughed, forcing myself not to lean into him for a kiss. We were taking things slow, after all, and keeping our relationship a quieter affair in public for Melissa’s sake. Looking deep into Jake’s eyes, I knew he was feeling the pull too and he gave me a regretful little smile before nodding his head toward the table. “Sit. I’ll get you a drink.”

“Beer.” I smiled back at him and headed around the table to sit in the empty seat beside the one he’d just vacated.

While Jake was at the bar, Denver joined the band just as the manager of Milk hopped up onto the stage and scratched his thick beard with an amused curl to his lip. “If ye don’t know who these guys are by now, then ye’re definitely no regulars. There has been a fair amount of women visiting Milk these last few months, which I think has more tae dae wi’ the effect these guys have on their knickers than ma inexhaustible charm.”

We laughed and I felt an immense amount of pride rush through me for The Stolen. My friends really were awesome and glancing over at Claudia sitting across the table grinning up at the stage, I knew she felt that pride too.

“Don’t let their pretty boy façades fool ye. These guys are phenomenally talented. So without further ado, back from their trip home tae the States, Milk presents The Stolen.”

We whooped and catcalled as the manager smiled at the guys and then bounced offstage. Matt hit the drums, leading them into one of my favorite upbeat tracks that Beck had co-written with Lowe. Listening to Lowe’s smooth, deep voice, I was lost for a while until I sensed Jake’s eyes on me. Turning my head ever so slightly, I met Jake’s gaze as he approached with beers in hand. He carefully handed Claud hers, eyes still on me, and then he rounded the table. Jake sat down next to me and casually shifted his chair closer. He draped his arm around the back of my seat and just like that, I lost my focus, Lowe’s voice becoming a muffled hum in my ears.

Jake wasn’t even touching me and every single part of me was absolutely aware of every single part of him. We sat like that for four songs and then the guys stopped for a break.

By this point I was having difficulty breathing and when I chanced a look at Jake, his dark eyes were burning. Being close, knowing we both wanted to be closer, and doing our best to be respectful … well, it was a sick kind of torment.

“The guys sound great tonight,” I said loud enough for him to hear.

Jake nodded and leaned a little closer. “They always sound great.” I gave him a teasing smile at his devotion and he shrugged. “I’m a groupie. You know … without the sex.”

“Well, that’s a shame. They’d be lucky to have you.”

He smirked. “That’s true. And they do all want me. I’ve remained strictly friends with all of them so I don’t upset their band dynamic. It’s been particularly difficult for me. They’re all very handsome.”

Lips trembling with laughter, I nodded gravely. “Quite the temptation.” I leaned closer. “But let me in on the secret. Who would you have chosen … groupie.”

Deadpan, Jake quirked an eyebrow. “I thought that would be obvious.” He nodded to the stage where the guys were chatting and taking sips of water. “Matt. Look at him. That’s all raw animal magnetism right there.”

When I turned to look up at Matt, he was rubbing a hand towel under his sweaty pits.

I threw my head back in laughter and turned to Jake to find him smiling at me in that way—that way he used to. That way that said he adored me completely.

Terrified of that look melting every single one of my defenses, I turned back to the stage … and immediately frowned. Beck had jumped off the small platform to talk to a blond girl who’d approached the band. Beck said something with a flirtatious tilt to his mouth and the girl leaned her hand on his chest and laughed, stepping into his body. Eyes lit up Beck continued to chat with the girl, and his hand dropped to her hip to hold her close.

I looked at Claudia. Uneasiness moved through me at the sight of Claudia’s pale cheeks and lowered gaze.

If I, a person on the outside of their bizarre relationship, thought that Claudia and Beck had only grown closer over the winter break, then it came as no surprise that Claudia must’ve been feeling that way too. Unfortunately, Beck was a tool, and I would never understand him. For a guy who seemed so concerned about Claud’s feelings, he sure had a nice way of trampling all over them.

“She terrifies him,” Jake’s deep voice murmured in my ear and despite my anger at Beck, Jake still managed to make the hair on the back of my neck rise.

I turned sharply to him, frowning. “What?”

Jake nodded at Beck. “He cares about Claudia more than any girl. Ever. I know that for a fact. I also know he’s pretty messed up when it comes to women. He doesn’t mean to hurt her.”

Shaking my head, I shot my friend another worried look. “She’s going to have to walk away before he breaks her heart.”

Strong, warm fingers threaded through mine and tightened. “I hope she gives him a chance first.”

Staring up into Jake’s sincere eyes, I knew then he wasn’t just talking about Beck and Claudia. Swallowing past the lump of emotion in my throat, I nodded gently. “I know she’ll try.”

It became quickly apparent that Jake and I had very little self-control. Or at least we weren’t good with temptation.

Our decision to take things slow meant we hung out with our friends like we had for the last few months. There was no kissing or cuddling or anything remotely sexual. Okay, not going to lie … there was a lot of eye-fucking going on.

The first week passed quickly and without incident. Kind of. We’d returned to classes and every day at the university, I’d dreaded bumping into Melissa. I knew from my roommate Gemma that Melissa was having a hard time. I knew this because Gemma hostilely informed me of her condition before endeavoring to treat me like Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter. If I walked into the kitchen and Gemma and one or both of the other girls were there, she’d cease talking as though I wasn’t good enough to be privy to her conversations.

On campus I passed her between classes and she glared at me before murmuring something to her companions that made them wrinkle their nose at me, as if I smelled bad.

I ignored this bitchy, childish behavior because frankly, I couldn’t give a shit what she thought. Unfortunately, I did care what Melissa thought, so when I turned down one of the book stacks on the third floor of the library and came face to face with her, I pretty much wished I were anywhere else in the world.

Our eyes met as Melissa looked up from her book. As I stared into her wounded, broken expression, I felt like she’d punched her fist into my chest and squeezed my heart.

Feeling sick, for the first time in as long as I could remember my bravado failed me, and I trembled a little as Melissa put the book back on the shelf and walked slowly toward me. Not once did I think about dropping my gaze. I owed her that much.

She halted in front of me and I stopped breathing as I took in the dark circles under her eyes, the sharpness in her cheekbones that hadn’t been there before Christmas break.

It felt like forever we just stared at one another, the sounds of pages turning, computer mice clicking, hushed murmurings, and soft footsteps all seeming incredibly loud in the taut atmosphere.

Melissa blinked, the corners of her pretty mouth dipping. “I …” She shook her head, her eyes dim with pain as she continued softly, “I really want to hate you.”

Remembering the days after my breakup with Jake, remembering the ache and needles of pain in every nerve, bone, and muscle, remembering the stifling feeling that came over me as I had to pay witness to Melissa’s relationship with Jake, the only thing I could say was, “I know.”

A tear slipped down her cheek at my response and before I could say anything else, she quickly swiped it away and brushed past me.

At her departure I sucked in a huge gulp of air and leaned back against the shelves, wishing life wasn’t so goddamn complicated.

Later that night I told Jake about the encounter as we walked to the movies. The two of us were quiet all that night, and for the next week it was a little bit easier not to give into the temptation of one another.

That wasn’t to say the pull wasn’t still intense.

In order to somehow avoid the pull, Jake and I had actually stopped spending so much time together. It was three weeks after our return from Fort William, the end of January, and we’d decided to spend yet another date at the movies because it meant at least two hours of time where we could pretend not to be focused on one another.

We’d both fallen in love with this small art deco theater in an area called Morningside, about a thirty-minute walk from the university. The theater offered leather recliners and large, comfortable leather sofas as well as ordinary cinema seats. Jake and I usually got recliners so we weren’t sitting too much in each other’s space, but on the eventful night when we kicked off our five-day ban, we could only get a sofa together.

As soon as we sat on that small sofa, I knew it was a bad idea. We’d spent the last few weeks ignoring the sexual chemistry between us, which meant we’d pretty much been ignoring our relationship and continuing on as we’d done before the Christmas break. Claudia told me she got that we were trying to be kind to Melissa, but whether or not we were sleeping together wasn’t going to change the fact that Melissa assumed we were.

Honestly, by this point I was with Claudia, but just as Jake was willing to prove himself to me, I was willing to respect the memory of his and Melissa’s relationship for him.

That’s why the sofa thing was such a bad idea.

The tension was so thick between us, it was like our attraction had physically manifested into a large elephant sitting on and crushing my chest so I couldn’t breathe properly.

Our arms brushed and Jake’s might as well have been a flame licking my skin. My cheeks blazed and I murmured, “Sorry.”

When the lights went down for the movie, it was unbearable. I could hear Jake’s shallow breathing racing to find rhythm with mine. In the dim light, I saw his hands flex into tight fists on top of his thighs. And because I was trying my best not to think about sex, all I could think about was sex with Jake and how good it had been and how much better it would probably be now.

I found myself beginning to sweat. My body was like a furnace.

“Fuck it,” Jake suddenly whispered and turned to look at me as the light from the screen flickered over his face. “There’s taking things slow and then there’s taking things glacial.”

My lip curled up at the corner. “Done with the glacial?”

His eyes burned in the dark. “I think we’re doing a pretty good job of melting the glacial right out of us.”

“You feel it too?”

“Fuck yeah,” he leaned in close, his lips millimeters from mine. “Baby, I’ve been feeling it with you since I was sixteen.”

He breached the gap between our mouths, his warm lips brushing over mine, tingles rushing south. He grazed his lips over mine once, twice, and then he nipped my bottom lip gently, before sweeping the tip of his tongue over the bite. I gasped, the erotic noise swallowed in his mouth as he closed it over mine. Jake slid his hand around my neck and into my hair, gently tugging me so I fell into his kiss, my hands resting on his chest.

His kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but as soon as I began moving my lips against his, telling him that I wanted this, the kiss changed. I felt his tongue flick lightly against mine and my fingers curled into his T-shirt in response. He teased me with those flicks until I was squirming in the dark for more, my arms sliding around his neck, my fingers tightening in his hair as I opened my mouth wider against his and licked his tongue in a deep, wet kiss that shattered what little thread of control he was holding onto.

Our kiss turned hard and hungry and Jake’s arms slid around my waist so he could crush me against his chest.

The leather of the sofa creaked at our movement but I would’ve barely noticed it if it hadn’t been for the harsh female voice from my left that whispered admonishingly, “This isn’t a hotel room.”

Jake and I pushed away from one another, our breathing heavy, my cheeks burning, as we gazed into each other’s wide eyes.

We both knew then that we were so screwed.

Somehow we got through the movie and then Jake walked me back to my building. We didn’t talk much and the entire time I was wondering if we were done with the whole moving slow thing and finally restarting our relationship. It occurred to me, now that I had a reminder of how combustible things were between us, I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted or not. Moving slow meant we didn’t really discuss the things that mattered or the problems that still existed between us. If we finally entered into something serious and real again, it would mean opening myself up completely to Jake.

That was a worrying thought.

However, when we reached my apartment, Jake stopped and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “If we’re going to keep up this whole taking-it-slow thing, maybe we shouldn’t hang out alone for the next couple of days.”

Part of me wanted to ask him why we were suddenly not just taking things slow but coming to an almost halt. At the cinema he’d seemed to be pretty adamant that glacial was bad.

I felt my brow pucker. He’d broken up with Melissa almost two months ago. Wasn’t that a respectful amount of time already?

And yet … the other part of me was almost relieved. It was a reprieve from having to let Jake in.

So I nodded, gave him a shaky smile, and walked up to my apartment feeling more confused than ever.