Текст книги "Into the Deep"
Автор книги: Samantha Young
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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
I knew the moment Jake remembered too because the air between us wasn’t angry anymore … it was sexual.
My skin flushed and I flexed my hands, trying to ignore the pulsing throb in my neck and the blood whooshing in my ears. It was hard to do when I recognized all too well the look in Jake’s eyes.
“I can cook it on my own,” Claudia announced loudly, shattering the moment. I jerked my head around to see her giving me a look that screamed, “What the hell are you doing?” before turning back to Beck. “It’s cool. We’ll get a bird and everything. I can handle it.”
At least one of us could handle something.
For once the kitchen didn’t seem so cold with eight of us crammed around the table. True to her word, Claudia had cooked Thanksgiving dinner and to our surprise, Lowe had helped. Maggie, Gemma, and Laura had left us to our traditions, as had Rowena. That meant Jake, Claudia, Beck, Lowe, Melissa, Matt, Denver, and I were cozied together at the table.
We were tucking in, lots of “mmms” and “Claud, I love you” being thrown around the table. It was easy to forget everything else, to forget the very real awkwardness between Melissa and me for instance, when we were all just happy to have something to remind us of home.
Edinburgh was great, but I think we were all missing the States just a little bit.
“This is so much better than home,” Claudia announced, taking a sip of her wine as she proved me wrong.
“It is?” Melissa frowned.
Claudia nodded, her eyes wide as she replied, “God, yes. Well, it was.” She threw me a grin. “I spend it with Charley’s crazy family now, but pre-Charley … right about now, I’d be curled up on the couch by myself in a house that’s way too big for three people while my parents either fuck other people in Cabo or each other in Switzerland. No phone calls home to wish me Happy Thanksgiving, nothing, nada. They pay their cook Consuela to make and serve me Thanksgiving dinner every year, and every year I give her a couple of days off without telling them. That would kill them,” Claudia smirked. “My parents hate paying for anything when they don’t have to. I’m saving it up for the right moment. Who knows … it might piss my mother off so much, she may actually manage to make an expression through the Botox.”
Beck, Lowe, and I laughed, which relaxed everyone else who, by the uncomfortable expressions on their faces, clearly felt weird by Claudia’s oversharing.
Lowe shrugged. “I don’t mind Thanksgiving. Mom passed a while ago, so it’s just me, my older brother, and my dad. My dad is a litigator and always working. So Josh and I just get takeout and sit back, have a beer, and watch the game.”
I hadn’t known that about Lowe. Although he’d spoken casually about his mom, there was a definite tightness in his tone. Since he was sitting beside me, I felt the tension in his body. So no one would notice, I put down my cutlery, lifted my wine glass with one hand, and gently squeezed Lowe’s knee under the table with the other.
Two seconds later I felt his warm hand cover mine and he gave me a squeeze back. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and saw he was giving me a small, grateful smile. His muscles relaxed and I let go of him as Beck started sharing.
“My mom and stepdad always go on vacation at Thanksgiving because Mom hates the cold. That leaves me either stuck in the house by myself, much like Claud, or if my dad’s coherent, I’ll drop by his place with some food.”
I wondered what the comment about his dad meant and as I looked around the room, I knew only two other people understood exactly what it meant—Jake and Claudia had hard looks in their eyes, the kind of look a person gets when someone they care about is mistreated.
Shit. Beck didn’t have it great at home. It didn’t surprise me that Jake knew … but Claudia? I was beginning to think she and Beck were a lot closer than any of us realized.
“Well,” Matt smiled, breaking the tension, “Thanksgiving at home is awesome for me. I live with my aunt and uncle because my parents died when I was little, which isn’t awesome obviously, but my aunt and uncle are cool and my aunt can cook the shit out of anything. Seriously, our table is, like, immense. We’ve got three different types of bird, three different types of potato, gravy that I think I’d kill for, chocolate pie, and pumpkin pie. Neighbors try to get an invite every year, it’s that good. There’s always so much food, my aunt invites a different couple of people every year. I swear it’s like they’ve won the lottery when she chooses one of them. And she’s got to be careful she doesn’t show someone too much favor because that drama lasts a whole fucking year.”
We smiled at him, imagining a table piled with food and neighbors clamoring to get to it.
“Thanksgiving is good for me too,” Melissa smiled contemplatively, leaning closer into Jake. He smiled at her and put his arm around her chair. The turkey in my mouth turned to ash. “It’s usually just me and my dad, my stepmom, and two stepsisters. My stepmom isn’t the greatest cook, but she always insists on doing it. I go behind her, fixing her mistakes, and she doesn’t have a clue,” Melissa laughed. “She’s sweet. So are my sisters.” She shrugged. “We just laugh a lot.”
“It sounds nice,” Claudia smiled. “It sounds really nice.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to come to Thanksgiving at my house next year,” Melissa offered kindly. I wanted to stick my fork in her eye. She had my ex-boyfriend. She was not getting my best friend.
Claud looked ready to burst into laughter, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. “Thanks, Mel, but I’ve forced myself onto Charley’s family and I’d feel rude if I stopped doing that.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “She has not forced her way in. I swear to God, my parents like her more than they like me.”
“Do you have a nice Thanksgiving, Charley?” Lowe asked quietly.
I nodded at him. “Me, my mom, my dad, my big sister Andie. My grandmother sometimes too, and now Claud. I’m the only female in my family who can’t cook, so I get to sit and watch the game while they all cluck in the kitchen.”
“Cluck?” Claudia asked, clearly offended.
“Like a hen.” I nodded. “Who’s mashing the potatoes? They all answer at once—cluck, cluck, cluck. Who checked the bird last? Cluck, cluck, cluck. We’ve all brought our best pie dish, which one should we use? Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.”
The guys laughed and Claudia twisted her mouth into a moue. “That is a gross misinterpretation of the situation. I don’t own a pie dish.”
“Oh, really?”
Claudia exhaled. “Okay, I do. And maybe we cluck a little, but the hen noises are worth it once the food is on the table. No one makes pumpkin pie like Delia Redford.”
“Amen, sister.”
“What about you, Jake?” Claudia turned her attention rapidly to him. “How’s Thanksgiving at your house?”
I lowered my eyes, knowing the answer to that one. I’d dreaded his turn since we’d started sharing. It reminded me all too well of the best Thanksgiving I ever had.
“It’s always good. The immediate family—me, Mom, Dad, my little brother Lukas, and my dad’s mom. Some of my best memories are from Thanksgiving.”
I tensed at this confession, wondering if he meant what I thought he meant. Quickly, so no one would notice, I glanced up at him from under my lashes to see if he was looking at me. Instead, Jake was studying his plate, apparently intent on not making eye contact with anyone.
“Thanksgiving at my house is crazy,” Denver informed us loudly. “I mean, we got my whole family, which is me and my three brothers and my parents, plus we got cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, nieces, nephews. The house is packed with people and food. I swear to God, I need a vacation just to get over the holiday.”
“I bet you wouldn’t trade it for the world,” Claudia said.
He shrugged, a guy equivalent of agreement.
Lowe leaned forward, shoving his now-empty plate aside. “Where do you think you’ll be on Thanksgiving five years from now? Who do you think you’ll be?”
“You go first,” Beck grinned at him before taking a sip of beer.
“Okay.” Lowe relaxed against his chair, his arm casually draped around the back of mine. “I’m in a hotel room in London with some random hook-up while I get ready for a show at the O2 Arena with my band, The Stolen.”
The guys grinned. Matt relaxed back in his chair. “Well, I guess that’s my future plan.”
“Yeah, you’re our fucking roadie because you’ve been replaced by Dave Grohl,” Denver grunted.
Beck chuckled and threw a potato at Denver. “You’re a shit.”
“Where will you be, then, smart-ass?” Matt asked Denver.
“Getting sucked off by—ow!” He glared at Claudia as he rubbed his head where her hand had cracked across it. “What the fuck?”
She glowered back at him, unmoving. “It’s Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving doesn’t involve that kind of language, thank you very much. Apologize.”
“Jesus, okay, I’m sorry.” He winced, feeling his head for blood.
The rest of us all looked at one another, trying—and failing—to hold in the laughter. We collapsed into hysterics as Denver attempted to annihilate us with his eyes. Claudia sat prim and unmoving.
Beck grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her close so he could kiss her forehead affectionately. She relaxed and rolled her eyes, settling back into her seat.
“Where will you be?” Lowe asked me as soon as the laughter died down.
I felt my cheeks warm as they turned their focus on me. “Uh … either having Thanksgiving with my family or patrolling the streets of Chicago as a rookie with a really crap work schedule.”
He smiled at me. “And nothing else. No guy? Or girl?” he winked at me.
“You can squash that fantasy, Lowe. I’m not into girls.” I shoved him playfully and then stared at my plate, avoiding Jake’s gaze. “It would be nice to think there will be a guy. Who knows?”
Lowe snorted. “There will be a guy, Charley,” he said, sounding absolutely convinced on the matter.
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you clairvoyant?”
“Nah. I’m just not blind. It’s a miracle you’re single at the moment.”
The compliment hit me in all my good-for-nothing places and I shook my head, trying to laugh it off with everyone else. It wasn’t easy when I could feel Jake’s eyes burning into me.
“Claud, where do you see yourself in five years?” Matt asked her. “With me, right?”
I laughed as Claudia rolled her eyes for the second time that night. “If I’m going to be with anyone in five years, it will be Will McPherson.”
“Who the hell is Will McPherson?” Beck grumbled.
I answered for her. “The hot TA Claud has been lusting after for two years and has been too chicken to approach.”
“Why would you be too chicken to approach?” Matt guffawed. “Have you seen you?”
“Are you trying to kill me with compliments, Matt?”
“Seduce, Claud, not kill.”
“I don’t think it’s working,” Beck said, smirking at him.
“Well,” Melissa spoke up, her tone overly cheery, “in five years’ time, I’m hopefully going to be working on my postgrad, and spending Thanksgiving on vacation with my whole family and Jake.”
My fingers clenched around my wine glass. When I dared to look over at her, she was giving me a firm but pointed look. I managed to keep my flinch inward and calmly took another drink of wine.
Nice Melissa was gone then. Determined-to-keep-her-boyfriend Melissa was in town.
“Jake?” she turned to him, “what about you?”
He didn’t look at her, just sat staring at the beer bottle in his hand as he picked at the label. “What about me?” he answered a little flatly.
“Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?”
He shrugged and then shot the table a strained grin. “A roadie for The Stolen.” The guys laughed, helping him out. Lowe quickly turned the conversation elsewhere.
As I collapsed into my bed later that night, I wondered not for the first time that evening whether Jake spent the entire dinner remembering our first Thanksgiving together … and our promise that we would never stop loving each other.
For the first time since rescuing my sister from the SUV, I wished to God I were Supergirl. I’d never read the old comics but surely Supergirl wouldn’t have been this nervous about going all the way with her boyfriend? Or maybe she would have, I didn’t know. Maybe like me, Supergirl put up this front that she was confident about everything, when in reality she was just as scared as the next girl.
I didn’t know why I was so nervous about my plans to lose my virginity to Jake. Throughout the last four months, I’d been the one making the moves, pushing for our first kiss, pushing for fooling around. We’d done a lot of “stuff” together, and although I’d felt a little flurry of jitters when we’d first started out, I hadn’t felt nervous or anxious the way I was now feeling nervous and anxious.
The truth was I didn’t want to disappoint Jake in any way. I’d gotten it out of him that he’d lost his virginity when he was only fourteen. He wouldn’t tell me how many girls he’d been with, which worried me more than a little, but he promised it was nowhere near as scary a number as I probably had in my head. Still, Jake was experienced for his age. I guessed part of that was due to the fact that he didn’t look sixteen.
Take Stacy Sullivan, the waitress at Hub’s, for instance. I knew the rumors that Jake had slept with her were true. I knew this because since dating Jake, I’d hardly been inside Hub’s and the reason was because Jake didn’t appear to like it all that much. That was ridiculous—Hub’s had great food—so I suspected it had more to do with the fact that he’d nailed Stacy.
So Jake was experienced. And I wasn’t.
I knew it was ridiculous to have those concerns. Jake loved me and he wanted to be with me no matter what. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to be the best he ever had.
“Ugh,” I groaned and dropped my head against the bathroom mirror, trying to take calming breaths. I jerked my head back, jumping out of my skin at the sound of my cell binging.
It was a text from Jake.
Coast is clear. I’m outside x
I sent him an affirmative text back, drew in a deep breath, and hurried out of the bathroom. Mom and Dad were at work, so at least I didn’t have to hide what I was up to.
It was a Saturday and Jake’s parents and Lukas had gone Christmas shopping in Chicago. Chicago was actually an hour closer to Lanton than Indianapolis, plus Lukas was meeting up with some old friends. Jake had begged off the family day trip with the excuse that he wasn’t feeling great.
In reality, we just wanted his house to ourselves.
Two weeks ago when Jake had mentioned the shopping trip, I’d instantly thought about having an uninterrupted day with Jake in the vicinity of a bed. We spent most of our time fooling around in Hendrix in Brenton Fields and a couple of those times, things had gotten seriously frustrating for the both of us. It was bad. It had gotten to a point where I was zoning out in class because all I could think about was Jake’s hands on my body.
That’s why I casually suggested that he didn’t go with his family.
Assured that I meant it and that I was ready for us to have sex, Jake had eagerly jumped on board with the idea.
Bundled up in my winter gear, I hurried out to Jake’s truck, jumping in out of the cold and rubbing my hands together. I gave him a small smile. “Hey.”
He stared at me a moment, his eyes searching. “You okay?” he asked softly.
I nodded quickly. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Instead of going, Jake put Hendrix in neutral and pulled up the handbrake. He twisted around, sliding his arm behind my seat so his body was turned into mine. “Baby, we don’t have to do this. If you’ve changed your mind, it’s okay.”
As his reassurances and kind expression sank in, I thought that I was amazingly lucky to have found Jake Caplin. I’d said it before and I’d say it again: he was not like other boys. However, I’d obviously done something to deserve him, so I was content to accept his adoration and devotion for the rest of my life. I smiled at him now, some of the nerves dissipating. “I haven’t changed my mind. I … just want this to be good for you.”
He frowned. “You’re worrying about that?”
“Well, yeah, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “but because I’m the experienced one and I want to make it as perfect as it can be. You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Jake, I do,” I insisted. “I’m just as concerned about making this perfect for you. You’ve been with girls who know what they’re doing—”
“I’ll stop you right there,” he cut me off, tugging on my hand so I had no choice but to fall forward against him. Jake cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin as he pulled me into his dark gaze. “Everything we’ve done up to now is the best I’ve ever had. It’s the best because it’s with you and we’re great together. This will be no different.”
“Seriously, did you grow up on another planet or something where immature adolescent males are forbidden?”
He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t want to fuck this up by being an immature dick. And believe me, I have plenty of experience in that department too.”
“Okay,” I rolled my eyes, gently pulling back from him. “Let’s get out of here before you say something to change my mind.”
Jake’s house was silent, thick with it, in fact, as if it was breathless with anticipation right along with me. We hadn’t said a word in the truck as we drove to his place, both of us preoccupied with what lay ahead, nerves and sexual tension making the atmosphere potent enough to kill conversation.
Jake locked the front door behind us and helped me take off my coat and scarf. I watched silently as he removed his own. Taking my hand, he felt it tremble and gave me a sharp look. I squeezed his hand and reassured him once more with my eyes.
I followed him up the stairs, my breath coming harder and faster now. As soon as we entered his bedroom, Jake reached over for a piece of paper on his desk and then handed it to me.
Eyebrows drawn together, I unfolded it and blinked rapidly when I realized what it was. “You got tested?” I whispered.
He nodded solemnly. “I wanted you to know that I’m clean. You deserve not to have to worry about that.”
Swallowing hard, I folded the paper back over. “How many girls have you been with?”
“Enough to know ‘the one’ when I find her.” Jake pulled me against him, his arms strong around my waist. “My friends back in Chicago think I’m crazy when I talk about you. They keep telling me that I’m too young to feel this way. I’m not too young, Charley. I know with more certainty than I’ve ever had about anything in my life that you’re my future. I know that when we’re ready, after college or whatever, we’re going to get married and that you’re going to be the mother of my kids. I know that deep in my gut.”
Overwhelmed by his heartfelt confession, by his surety in me, and honestly by the restless sexual chemistry between us, I found myself close to tears. I hit his chest gently. “You’re going to make me cry. You know I don’t like that.”
He chuckled and cuddled me closer, his chin resting on my hair. “It’s the good kind of tears, though, right?”
I nodded, nuzzling my face into his throat. “I love you so much. I don’t care if people think we’re crazy.”
“I love you too,” he murmured, stroking my back.
Pretty quickly his soothing caress became something else and I pressed my lips to his throat. Jake groaned, tilting his head back a little as I kissed my way up to his jaw. I didn’t get a chance to reach for his mouth because Jake was already reaching for mine.
His kiss was soft, coaxing, his tongue gently teasing mine. As I melted into it, I slipped my hand under his shirt, forcing the fabric up as I explored his abs. Taking my hint, Jake broke the kiss to pull off his shirt and I did the same with my sweater. Goosebumps awoke all over me.
It was going to happen for us.
Yes.
I grinned at him and he smiled back, his warm hands coasting lightly around my waist as he pulled me back to him. We started kissing again, this time our lips pressing harder, our tongues sliding deeper, and the goosebumps disappeared in a flush of fire. Deftly, Jake took off my bra and still kissing, we fumbled with one another’s pants.
Laughing and stroking and kissing, we eventually ended up on his bed naked, his body braced above mine. When he slid a hand between my legs, the laughter disappeared and our breathing grew stilted. I lifted my hips, widening my legs, welcoming his touch and groaning with sheer pleasure when he slipped two fingers inside me.
He’d done this before, playing me to the point of explosion.
This time he pressed deeper and I flinched at the uncomfortable pressure.
Jake pulled back, his muscles straining. “It’ll hurt the first time, but I’ll try to make it as good as I can for you.”
“I know.” I wound my arms around his shoulders. “I trust you.”
He kissed me, lowering his hips against me so I could feel his hot erection pulsing at my core. I thought for a minute we were going straight into it and I tensed, bracing myself, but Jake left my mouth to follow an invisible trail down my body with his lips. He kissed every inch of me, sucking on my nipples until they were distended and tender, kissing between my legs, his tongue laving at my clit until I came. And then he started all over again—his thumb on my swollen clit, his fingers pushing inside of me.
“Jake,” I moaned, my nails biting into his back. “I can’t …” I felt shattered, like I was only held together by the tiniest cracks of light and if Jake pushed me one more time, I was going to break into a million pieces. My body wanted that but I didn’t know if I could take any more.
“I can’t wait any longer,” he breathed harshly and I nodded, silently asking him to do it, to move inside me and end the torture he’d started. He leaned over the bed and opened the drawer of his bedside table. He removed the small foil condom package and ripped it open with his teeth. With a proficiency I pretended not to notice, Jake rolled the condom on.
I felt his hands depress the mattress on either side of my head, his chest lifting up off my body. He nudged my knee with his and I opened my legs wider at his silent request.
I looked up into his eyes.
He stared back at me, his cheeks flushed, his eyes dark with a mixture of tenderness and love. “You ready?”
My chest gave way to the strange sensation of fluttering beats. I gripped him harder, needing to anchor onto him to fight the nerves. “Yes,” I managed. “No. Wait.”
He swallowed hard, his arms shaking a little. “Okay.”
“Do it fast.”
“Baby, no. I’ve got to be gentle. I could hurt you.”
“It might hurt more. Think of it …” I struggled to draw a full breath. “Think of it like a Band-Aid.”
He didn’t look certain at all. “I don’t think—”
“Please.”
I knew he could never deny me. He nodded slowly and I nodded back reassuringly.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?” Jake muttered, his gaze still hot but adoring. “So beautiful. I used to think there was nothing prettier than looking up at the stars. That feeling I got, like I was part of something bigger than anything I could ever imagine. It’s one of my favorite feelings … and I get it every time I look at you.”
I felt my eyes grow wet as the connection between us tightened. “I know,” I said. I did know because I felt that way every time I looked at him.
Our kiss was just a lip brush at first but I pulled him back for more, something deeper, and as I sucked on his tongue, I must’ve snapped what little self-control Jake had left. I felt him press between my legs, and then he shifted his weight …
I cried out as Jake thrust inside me hard, pushing deep. A flare of pain rippled up from my lower back to sprinkle shivers across my shoulders and I tensed as Jake hovered above me, not moving.
“Baby, you okay?”
As the pain dissipated, I was left with this uncomfortable fullness, a strange sensation I wasn’t sure I liked. But when I looked up at Jake’s face and saw the bead of sweat on his forehead, saw the untempered heat and desire in his eyes, I knew Jake liked whatever he was feeling. “I’m okay,” I said softly.
At my assurance, Jake moved, pulling back until he was almost gone and then pushing back in. I ached, still unsure, but held on as he repeated it. As he withdrew again, I felt his thumb circle my clit and the ache disappeared under the stir of pleasure. The next time Jake withdrew, I muffled a cry of surprise at the delicious sensation that moved through me and I arched my hips trying to pull him back.
“God, Charley,” Jake growled and I felt his thrusts pick up speed.
Soon I’d forgotten where we were, and all I cared about was our bodies and what his was doing to mine. I slid my hands down his back and clutched at his buttocks, pulling him into me.
“Baby,” came Jake’s guttural response. “I’m going to lose control.”
“I want you to,” I replied, my words choppy and breathy.
“I’m trying to go slow,” he reminded me through gritted teeth.
“No.” I pressed him deeper.
He gasped and his hips slammed against mine, his dick moving so deep in me, it was almost painful. By that point I didn’t care. He thrust into me a couple of more times and then stilled, his neck muscles straining as his hips jerked against mine in hard climax.
Finished, he tried to catch his breath and melted on top of me, his hands moving down my waist as he rested his forehead on the pillow next to my ear.
I stroked his back, running my hands soothingly over his damp skin. I smiled as his hand squeezed my waist. He was still inside me, his body heavy on mine. Wonderful contentment settled over me.
I’d just given my virginity to Jake Caplin and he’d just given everything to me too. This was it. This was our lives now. Laughter and kindness and affection and friendship and great sex.
Lucky didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.
“I tried to wait,” he muttered, lifting his head to stare into my eyes. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I stroked his cheek, my smile probably a little goofy. “It was amazing.”
“You’ll come next time,” he promised, brushing his lips over mine before he lifted himself up onto his hands again. I flinched a little as he pulled out and realized that I was actually pretty sore. He saw my flinch. “You okay?”
I smiled, this time flirtatiously. “A little sore but I’m definitely okay.”
Without saying another word, Jake got up and disappeared out of the room. A minute later he returned condomless and carrying a cloth. He crawled back into bed and pressed the wet cloth between my legs.
“What are you doing?”
He smiled, his love for me so glaring, I wanted to dive all over him again. “Taking care of my girl.”
“You know I don’t need you to,” I teased, “but I like that you want to.” I arched an eyebrow at him playfully. “Do you promise to take care of me for the rest of forever, Jacob Caplin?”
His eyes were grave as he replied, “I promise. For the rest of forever.”
