Текст книги "Into the Deep"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Despite Brett’s efforts to make both Jake and me persona non grata, Alex was too cool a guy to listen to petty slander. That’s why when Alex invited Jake and me to his seventeenth birthday party, I told him we’d be there. Jake hadn’t been certain we should go, but I was sick of the drama and didn’t want my senior year to be as loaded with it as my junior year had been. Don’t get me wrong—I would go through it all again to be with Jake, but that didn’t mean dodging certain classmates and having to think up clever retorts when I couldn’t dodge them wasn’t a pain in the ass.

Things between Jake and Brett had only grown more strained when Doug Clare, one of Trenton’s oldest friends and well-known Trenton follower, was arrested and charged not only for breaking and entering Logan Caplin’s office but for vandalism and destruction of private property. Sheriff Muir knew that Trenton put Doug up to it, but without any evidence and Doug being idiot enough to take the fall for his friend, there was nothing Muir could do about Brett’s father’s involvement. This meant that Jake was always just seconds away from punching a smug, taunting Brett Thomas in the face. During the last few weeks, I’d used a lot of distraction techniques to make sure Jake kept his cool.

Alex promised me he’d had a quiet word with Brett and that he felt he’d finally gotten through to him. My ex wanted to make amends for the crap Jake and I had put up with; I just wanted Jake and his family to start feeling like Lanton was their home. So I dragged Jake to the party.

“I’m telling you,” Jake sighed, taking my hand, “this is not a good idea.”

I smiled at a classmate as we strode up the wide white timber-frame porch of Alex’s home. His parents lived in a large house at the edge of Jake’s neighborhood. A long drive led up to the five-bedroom house, and right now that drive was packed with cars. Alex’s birthday had actually been a week ago but Mayor and Mr. Roster were vacationing in Cape Cod for their twentieth anniversary, so Alex had pounced on the opportunity to throw a kegger behind their backs. It was a bad idea, and I told him so. He grinned at me with boyish excitement, a look I knew, and a look there was no point arguing with.

“Jake, it’ll be fine. We need this.” I squeezed his hand as we walked into the packed house together. Hip-hop pounded throughout the ground floor, kids were dancing and drinking in the large living area, talking and drinking in the dining room and hallway, and bodies littered all the way up to the second floor.

“Hey, Jake!” Amanda Reyes stumbled to a stop in front of us, her cheeks flushed but her eyes focused. I noted the can of Red Bull in her hands. She wasn’t drinking, which wasn’t a surprise. Neither was her enthusiastic greeting toward Jake. Her crush had not waned one iota. I was surprised that she was at the party, however. Amanda wasn’t really part of the social scene outside of school. It looked like she was trying to change that. Her eyes flicked to me and although they dimmed a little, she still gave me a smile. “Hey, Charley.”

“Hey, Amanda,” I answered.

“Amanda,” Jake gave her a friendly nod and then walked around her, his hand still in mine. He did this every time she approached him. He was friendly but not too friendly, and when I was with him, he emphasized it by keeping me close. I got the impression her obvious crush made him a little uncomfortable.

I gave Amanda an awkward wave and her face fell as she watched Jake drag me away.

As soon as we were out of earshot, I pulled on Jake’s arm. “Dude, we need to find her a guy.”

Jake’s eyes widened in agreement. “You think.”

I laughed. “You should be flattered.”

He tugged me closer to his side as we waited to get past a group of kids standing in the kitchen doorway. “I am. But every time she gives me those sad puppy eyes, I want to run a mile. Sad puppy eyes from a girl I know is bad enough, but from a girl I don’t …” He shrugged as if to say “I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Charley, Jake, you came,” Alex smiled as we entered the packed kitchen. He squeezed through to greet us at the door. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

I glanced over at his shoulder to see a very drunk Brett give us the stink-eye before he wrapped an arm around Lacey’s neck and stumbled outside with her. Turning my attention back to Alex, I teased him. “And miss your birthday-slash-excuse to wreck your parents’ house? How could we?”

He laughed. “Whatever. It’ll all be good. They don’t get back for another four days, so I’ve got plenty of time to clean up. I also roped a couple of sophomores into helping out with cleanup tomorrow.”

Jake snorted. “How’d you manage that?”

Alex leaned into us. “I’m paying them fifty bucks each,” he admitted, as if it were some genius secret.

“They’re cleaning up a royal mess for a measly fifty bucks?” I said.

“Hey, these are desperate times,” Alex laughed and then pointed to the counter to our right. “Lots of drink over there. Help yourselves. I am going to hunt down a certain senior who slipped her phone number in my ass pocket at school.”

“Good luck with that.”

He winked at me and brushed past us.

Once Jake and I had grabbed a couple of beers, he pulled me back out of the kitchen and out of the house to the porch where it was a little quieter. “So you and Alex seem good,” he said, but I could see the question in his eyes.

Hoping this wasn’t leading into a familiar fight, I leaned back against a pillar and replied casually, “We are. You know we are. It was weird at first for him, but he’s over me.”

Jake nodded into his beer. “I know I haven’t always been a big fan of his because of Brett, but I think you might be right. The guy goes out of his way to be cool to me at school. I’m letting this shit with Thomas skew that.”

“How about,” I leaned into him, my fingers tangled in his shirt, “for tonight, we don’t think about any of that?”

His eyes glittered and he nodded, bending down to brush his mouth over mine. I smiled happily into his face and settled back against the pillar.

“We met at a party like this.”

“Six months ago.”

I studied him in the low light, wondering how it was possible I’d only known him for six months. “That doesn’t seem right somehow, does it? I can’t remember what it feels like not to be with you.”

“Ditto, baby.” He took a pull of his beer, his affection focused on me. “This is it from now on. You and me. Sure you can handle that?”

“Well, it’ll be a hardship, but what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger,” I teased.

“Hardship, my ass.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his body, grinning wickedly down at me.

“Oh, people I know!”

We turned as Lois McKinley zeroed in on us from across the porch, her beer spilling as she dragged her best friend Deke over to us. Lois was the editor of the school paper (and sick of hearing Lois Lane jokes) and Deke was her computer-geek sidekick.

“Hey, guys,” I eyed Deke. “Not working at Hub’s tonight?”

He shook his head,. “I swapped shifts. It’s not every day you get invited to a party at Alex Roster’s house.”

Settling back against Jake, I nodded. “It does seem like the boy went all out inviting everyone.”

“Alex is cool,” Lois shrugged. “He’s not like Brett and the others, you know, picking and choosing who’s worthy enough to talk to.” This was said with a slight hint of bitterness and resentment, something I understood since Brett and his idiot friends ragged on Lois on a weekly basis. She was short and somewhat voluptuous and showcased her curves in vintage fifties clothing. Her dark hair was always styled like a pinup girl’s and she was never without bright red lipstick. I thought she was awesome, but some people just didn’t get that Lois had a style and didn’t care if you approved of it.

I grunted. “Alex’s mom is going to freak if she comes home to find out about this party.”

We stood chatting for a while, me with my back against Jake’s chest, his chin in my hair as we drank and relaxed with Deke and Lois. Deke was quiet but he was also smart and quick-witted and really fun to hang out with.

It was only about an hour later when Lois’s phone rang. After watching Lois groan and whine for about five minutes in the corner, she finally got off the phone and grumbled that her mom had been called into work at the hospital and she needed Lois to return home to watch her younger brother. Deke was Lois’s ride, so to our disappointment, the two of them left.

“They’re cool.” I turned around to face Jake once they were gone. “We should hang out with them more.”

“Then we will.” He gave my waist a squeeze. “Want another beer?”

“Sure.”

Jake kissed my nose before taking my empty and disappearing back into the house. He wasn’t gone but a few minutes when a drunk Lacey wandered out onto the porch, clearly looking for me. I braced myself.

“Charley,” she weaved a little as she approached. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh?”

“I’m so, so sorry, Charley.” She tripped a little and I had to steady her. “I’ve been such a bitch.”

I didn’t disagree.

“I want to make it up to you. Will you let me?” She leaned in too close and I could smell the apple sours on her breath.

“Lacey, how much have you had to drink?”

She put her finger and thumb together and scrunched up her face. “Just a little.”

“I’m thinking you’ve had more than just a little. Come on, let’s get you water.”

Her tight grip on my wrist stunned me. “No,” she said vehemently, her smile wobbly. “Just stay and chat.”

I narrowed my eyes on her as I peeled her fingers off me. “I think water would be better.”

“No!” she cried, trying to pull on me again. “Stay.”

Suddenly, the blood was rushing in my ears as my heart started to race. “What … are you stalling me?”

At her wide, blinking eyes and guilty expression, a sense of disquiet drifted over me.

Jake.

“Fuck,” I breathed and pushed past her, shoving my way through bodies as I hurried toward the kitchen. The pounding in my chest only grew harder and faster when I saw a commotion around the French doors at the back of the kitchen. People were gawking outside, questioning what the hell was going on.

I bulldozed them, ignoring the yelps and complaints as I forced my way through and outside. The porch wrapped around the entire house and I had to push past the people standing on it, drinking and staring excitedly down on the backyard. As soon as I got past them, I could see why. The Rosters’ backyard was split into three parts. At the bottom was a fountain and pond, reached by a pebbled pathway in the middle of landscaping. At the top, the porch steps led onto a wooden patio with a large family patio dining set on the right and a monster grill on the left. Standing near the grill, Jake had his back to me and swaying in front of him was Brett. Damien, Jackson, and a couple of their teammates stood behind Brett, and Alex was nowhere to be found. I could feel the hostility building between Brett and Jake from up on the steps.

My gut churned with unease as I hurried down toward Jake. Brett’s eyes flicked to me, his lip curled in a sneer, and Jake looked over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing. “Charley, stay back,” he warned, holding a hand up to me.

Something in his voice caught me and I stopped. Returning my gaze to Brett, I saw the light from the house glint off the object in his hand. “Brett, what are you doing?” I whispered, horrified.

He had a large kitchen knife.

“He’s not going to do anything, Charley, he’s just talking with your boy,” Damien assured me with an arrogant smirk.

Brett laughed and stumbled with the movement.

I edged a little closer to Jake whose whole body was tense, ready to move if Brett got it into his dumb head to actually use his weapon. “I think he’s a little too drunk to be handling a blade,” I snapped at Damien. “Take it off him.”

“Don’t,” Brett waved the knife in my direction and Jake moved, blocking me from his view. “Don’t talk like I’m not fuckin’ here. Shurrup. This is between me and your boy.”

“What the hell is going on?” Alex pounded down the porch steps behind me, two of the seniors at his back. He stopped abruptly at my side when he saw Brett was waving a knife, his cheeks paling. “Brett, what are you doing? You’re shitfaced. Give me the knife and stop being an idiot.”

Brett’s already rosy cheeks darkened. “I’m the idjit?” He took a step toward Jake, concentrating so that he didn’t sway this time. “I’m not the one who let thish fucker take my girl. He … he and his family’sh not welcome. Need to know it.” He swung his arm at Jake and I lunged forward only to be hauled back by Alex.

My heart was in my throat as Jake jerked to the left, narrowly missing the knife edge. He backed up a few paces, his hands help up in placation. “Come on, Brett, you’re wasted, man. You don’t want to do this. Put the knife down.” His words were calm, coaxing, but I could see the anger burning in his gaze.

“Pfft.” Brett faltered again, his left arm spreading out for balance as his right one still pointed the kitchen knife at Jake. “You dessherve a cuttin’. Fucked nearly all the girlsh at thish party. Now you’re fuckin’ a prime piece like Charley. Not right. She ain’t yoursh. This town ain’t yoursh. Don’t want fuckin’ Caplinshes in our town. We’ll get you out.” He grinned, an uncontrolled leer. “Then I’ll get your girl on her back and show her how real men fuck.”

Alex’s fingers bit into my arms at Brett’s crude taunt. The anger I felt brewing from him was unfortunately already at the boiling point for Jake. I shook my head, not wanting to distract him by speaking, but willing him to remain calm, to not let Brett rile him.

Even in his drunken stupor, Brett caught the rage in Jake’s face. He laughed. “Yeah, that cut deep, knowing ash shoon ash you’re gone, I’m puttin’ my dick in that—”

“Brett, shut the fuck up!” Alex shouted, pushing me behind him as he took a furious step toward his friend.

“—and she’ll love every minute.” Brett ignored Alex and finished off by springing at Jake again, his right arm swinging upward as he tried to slash him from stomach to chest.

I whimpered, every part of me desperate to stop him but knowing anything I did might make it worse.

Jake slid back on the balls of his feet, dodging the cut, and then he moved too fast for a drunk Brett to compute. He tripped to the side away from Jake, shaking his head, and I watched the muscles bunch in his shoulders with anger as he stupidly and devoid of coordination swung around and ran at Jake. Jake sidestepped him again, making sure he was moving away from Damien and Brett’s other idiots.

Brett couldn’t slow his momentum.

He fell over his own feet, crashing awkwardly onto the patio floor, face planting against it.

Everyone was silent as we waited tensely for his next move.

But he didn’t move. Instead he elicited this strange, muffled whine.

I knew the moment we all realized something was wrong. I felt the shift in the air, the breathless waiting.

“Brett,” Damien said, laughing hollowly, “come on, man, get up.” He strode over to him and bent down, gently pushing Brett over.

People cried out behind me and I heard the guys cursing. Brett stared up at Damien, fear in his eyes, and then he dropped his gaze to the knife lodged in his ribs. “Get it out, man,” he cried hoarsely, tears in his voice, his trembling hands reaching for the blade.

“No!” I shouted, rushing toward him. “Don’t let him pull it ou—”

But it was too late.

Brett yanked out the blade and blood soaked his shirt.

I fell to my knees beside him, ripping off my light jacket and bundling it into a ball I pressed against his wound. He gave a pained grunt but I held it there, keeping pressure on it. Shaking, I shot a command at a pale, trembling Damien. “Call 911!”

He didn’t move, frozen with shock.

I glanced back over my shoulder at Alex who stared down at his friend in horrified disbelief. My eyes flicked to Jake whose hands were in his hair, desolation written all over him. “Jake, call 911!”

He looked like he wanted to puke but he pulled himself together enough to take out his cell.

“Char …”

I turned back to look down at Brett, his terrified eyes on mine, tears sliding down his cheeks. Swallowing hard, I forced my voice to stay calm. “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be fine.”

Warmth touched my fingertips and my attention fell on my jacket. The blood was soaking through it, the bitter tang of copper making me breathless. His body began to shudder hard beneath my touch and he coughed, little flecks of blood spraying out from between his lips.

“No,” I whispered, panicked adrenaline tightening my chest. Not only was he going into shock but I had the dire suspicion that he’d punctured a lung. “Guys, he’s going into shock.” Looking up at his friends I told them fiercely, “We can’t let him. We need to keep him warm. We need blankets. Give me your jackets now.”

His friends fumbled with their clothes as Jake murmured that the ambulance was on its way.

I heard Alex tell me he’d find blankets. I heard crying and gasps and questions and fear and horror settle in behind me. I ignored it, bowing my head toward Brett, feeling helpless as he shuddered and choked, his eyes begging for help.

The guys tucked their jackets around Brett and Jackson pulled off his T-shirt and handed it to me. I balled it up and quickly replaced my soaked jacket.

Although it tore me up inside to meet Brett’s gaze, I had to. He pleaded with me. Pleaded.

“We’ll get you taken care of Brett. Okay, we’ll get you fixed up.” On my peripheral I saw Damien tuck his jacket around Brett’s sides. “Yeah,” I whispered numbly. “Keep him warm.”

Suddenly Brett’s choked sounds drew quieter to a wheeze. Then to a stutter.

“No,” I shook my head, applying more pressure, “Brett, stay with me. The ambulance is almost here, buddy.”

His eyes were wide as they stared into mine and I knew that no matter what I said, he just couldn’t hold on. The shuddering faltered …

His body relaxed.

His breath … stopped.

The panic was gone from his eyes.

In its place was nothing.

“I’ve got the blankets!” Alex shouted, his footsteps smacking against the wood as he hurried toward us.

I fell back on my heels, my blood-soaked hands unsteady. I felt like I was in a nightmare. The darkness pressed down on me as I turned to look up at Alex.

His mouth fell open at my expression, his eyes darting to his friend, before coming back to me, questioning me through a shimmer of tears.

I shook my head, the tears blurring my vision. “He’s gone.”

“Will you tell him I’m asking for him?”

Mrs. C. nodded at me, her expression sympathetic. “I will, Charley.”

Feeling as though I was wading through water thick with mud, I walked back to my car. For a moment I stared up at the Caplin house, hoping that the front door would open and Jake would come out before I pulled away.

The engine of the car purred to life.

No Jake.

My reverse lights came on.

Still no Jake.

The car backed up onto the street.

Not even a twitch of a curtain.

Feeling sick, I pulled away, noting the police car sitting just around the corner. Was that for the Caplins? Worry bit at me the entire drive home, and when I eventually pulled my mom’s car into the drive, I couldn’t remember how I got there.

Two nights ago, on an ordinary Friday night, at an ordinary high school party, Brett Thomas lost his life. My classmate. A sixteen-year-old kid. He bled out under my hands from a self-inflicted knife wound that punctured his lung. He might have survived long enough for the ambulance to make it if his body hadn’t gone into shock.

I wanted to blame someone. I wanted to blame Brett for being a complete moron, or his dad for raising a complete moron and then encouraging him to be the king of morons. But there was too much blame already flying around, and since my boyfriend was a target of that blame, I was kind of sick of the whole verb.

The wee hours of Saturday morning were a blur. We all existed in a fog of unreality as those of us who witnessed the attack were taken to the police station. To my surprise, Amanda Reyes had been there to witness it all. I hadn’t even noticed her. Thank God she was, though. She was one of only a handful of extremely credible witnesses since there were only a handful of sober kids at that party. Good thing too she was on Jake’s side.

Damien and Jackson heaped all fault on Jake, maintaining that Jake hit Brett and he went down on the knife. Alex, Amanda, the seniors, and I told the truth, and when Sheriff Muir asked Damien and Jackson to repeat their witness accounts, they admitted that in the end, Brett tripped over his feet. Still, they irrationally maintained that Jake was responsible.

Jake was detained longer than any of us, but from our witness accounts and those of the students on the porch, along with the results of Brett’s blood alcohol level, word reached me on Sunday that Sheriff Muir wasn’t pressing charges, and that the case was more than likely going to be closed as an accidental death.

Trenton Thomas had been loaded ever since Saturday, telling anyone who would listen that it was all the Caplins’ fault. It didn’t help that Trenton’s own brother-in-law advised the likelihood of prosecution was minimal because of the lack of evidence against Jake. Now that Muir was near to closing the case and no one had been arrested (i.e., Jake), I knew the sheriff and his deputies were on alert for Trenton’s reaction. That’s why they had a car outside Jake’s home.

I looked down at my hands on the steering wheel and an image of them bloody flashed before me. Clenching them around the wheel, I drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled.

My dad was waiting for me as soon as I walked inside. “How is he?” he asked, his face pinched with concern.

I shook my head. “He won’t see me.”

In the aftermath, Jake had frozen me out. He wouldn’t talk at the station, which I put down to shock, but that Saturday afternoon my calls and texts went unanswered. I’d tried calling his house but his dad said Jake was sleeping. Finally, going out of my mind with worry for him, I decided to pay him visit.

Mrs. C. wouldn’t let me in the door. Jake wasn’t up to a visitor.

A visitor? I wasn’t a freaking visitor!

But nope. He didn’t want to see me.

Patience. I just needed to be patient. What had happened to Jake, the position he’d been put in, was absolutely awful, and I knew Jake. I knew that right now, he was in his room blaming himself for what happened. That thought caused a splinter in my chest, and all I wanted was to go to him and make sure he knew that no one else believed that.

Of course, with the exception of Trenton Thomas, but that guy was an asshole.

An asshole who’d lost his son.

I slumped, shaking my head. No one, not even an asshole like Thomas, deserved to go through that kind of pain.

Whatever my dad saw in my eyes, it had him hurrying across the room to pull me into a tight hug. I held onto him, shaking but forcing myself not to break down. My mom stood in the kitchen doorway, her sad, glittering eyes telling me she loved me and that it would all be okay.

Pulling back from Dad, I sighed. “I should maybe go to bed.”

“Your sister has been waiting on Skype for you. You want to talk to her?” Dad asked.

I nodded, feeling a little crack appear in my armor. It sucked that Andie wasn’t here. It had been a long time since I really needed a hug from my big sister.

The laptop was waiting for me in the dining room and I slid into the chair at the head of the table. After sending her an invite, her face popped up on screen.

“Hey, Supergirl,” she greeted me sadly, “how are you?”

I shrugged, holding it together.

“Oh, sweetie,” Andie leaned closer, “do you need me to come home?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Don’t ruin your trip. I’m fine. I’m just worried about Jake.”

Andie grimaced. “Poor kid. He’s going through a lot.”

“He won’t answer my calls, Andie. I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night. I don’t know what to do.”

“Give him time. I imagine he’s in a pretty dark place right now. And don’t feel bad that he’s not letting you in. Sometimes people just need alone time. No matter how much you love someone, you can’t always be what they need in that moment.”

Grasping onto that, I whispered, “You think?”

“Yes, sweetie, I do.” Her brows puckered together as she searched my face. “Now what about you? How are you handling it? Mom told me you were there. That you tried to help Brett.”

His eyes were imprinted on my brain.

My lips trembled, this feeling building up from my chest, this pressure, a need to let it blow out like a massive gust of wind. “I felt so helpless,” my voice cracked on the last word, my eyes dropping. “He was so scared and he was just looking at me, silently pleading with me to do something.” The sobs burst forth, my shoulders shaking, my ribs rattling. “I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Ssshh, sweetie, it’s okay.”

I shook my head, unable to see her through the tears. “It’s not. It’s not. I tried to help and then he was gone and … and,” I took a shuddering breath, “I kept thinking ‘I’m so glad it wasn’t Jake.’”

I jolted a little at the feel of my dad’s strong arm encircling my shoulders, pulling me back against him. His lips brushed my forehead and I sagged against him, crying harder than I ever remember crying.

Staring at the tributes placed at the foot of Brett’s locker, I barely heard the bell ring. Shell-shocked students pushed past as they hurried to get to class while I remained frozen on the spot.

Brett’s funeral was to be held on Thursday.

I shook myself, looking around as the halls started to empty. Since stepping foot on school grounds that morning, I’d felt alone. I saw that Lacey’s eyes were red from crying, but not once did they settle on me. She was ashamed. Probably feeling guilty for her part in it. If we’d been friends, I would’ve told her to learn from it, to not let it eat at her, to let it help her grow the heck up. But we weren’t friends. Her boyfriend was dead. All it would’ve taken was a small twist of chance and it might’ve been Jake everyone was grieving for.

I couldn’t bear the thought of it.

Jake wasn’t in school; neither was Lukas. They were probably waiting for the flames to die down.

When I walked into school, to my surprise it was a quiet Alex who kept me company. From him I’d discovered that Trenton Thomas had been arrested for disturbing the peace outside of Jake’s house last night. Luckily that cruiser had been sitting there and they took him in before he could do much damage. As soon as Alex told me, I sent a text to Jake asking if he was okay.

It was past lunchtime now and still I’d heard nothing back.

Alex and I had sat in the cafeteria by ourselves, not talking but keeping each other company nonetheless. There was no Alex now. He wasn’t in my next class or the one after.

Screw this, I thought.

My feet took me out of the school, out the gates, through town, and forty-five minutes later, I was at Jake’s.

The sight of Mrs. C. on her knees, yellow rubber gloves on, scrubbing at the porch, made me slow to a halt, annoyance and frustration ripping through me. My eyes washed over the porch, catching sight of dried yoke and eggshells.

Mrs. C. glanced up at me, her eyes tired. “Why aren’t you in school, Charley?”

I shrugged and then gestured to their house. “You okay?”

“It’s the second time it’s happened since we moved here.” She sat back on her heels, her mouth tight.

“There are a couple of idiots in this town, Mrs. C. You just have to ignore them.” I knew that was easy for me to say. My house hadn’t just gotten egged. “Can I help?”

She shook her head. “Not with this.”

“With Jake, then?”

Mrs. C. ripped off her rubber glove and ran a shaky hand through her dark hair. “He says he doesn’t want to see anyone, but frankly, I’m just so past the point of worried right now … I think you should go up. See if you can get him to talk.”

I nodded. “I’ll try.”

The music throbbing from his room meant that he probably didn’t hear me climb the stairs or cross the hallway. When I pushed his door open, my gaze zeroed in on him lying on his bed, his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, listening to some screaming band he’d never shared with me.

Thank God, because they sucked.

He lowered his gaze and the breath was knocked out of me at the emptiness in his eyes. “I don’t want to talk to anyone,” he told me flatly, returning his focus to the ceiling.

I’d never encountered this Jake. If we were mad at each other, we were loud about it. This emotionless robot scared the crap out of me.

But for him, I’d be brave.

As I shrugged out of my jacket, I kicked off my shoes. Quietly I crossed the room and lay down beside him, careful not to touch him. My own eyes met the ceiling.

“You don’t have to talk,” I promised him. And he didn’t. All I wanted was to remind him that he wasn’t alone. That he had me if he needed me.

My hope was that eventually he might say something, but I met my match in Jacob Caplin because he kept his mouth zipped for two and a half hours, replaying the screaming band until my ears almost started bleeding. Finally my mom called and I had to admit defeat for the day and go home.

“I have to go.” I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, but he didn’t move, didn’t even flinch. I held my sigh in and got up. “When you’re ready, I’m here. I love you, Jake.”

For the first time … he didn’t say it back.