Текст книги "Into the Deep"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

It all came to a head five days later.

The Stolen were playing at one of the student union venues—The Pleasance. It was a ten-minute walk down and then up from the Cowgate. Although I’d talked with Jake on the phone, I hadn’t seen him in days. In a way, it was nice for me and Claudia to hang out uninterrupted from the boys for a while, but I had to admit, walking into the bar and seeing Jake laughing with Rowena while the band set up caused a flurry of excited nerves.

When I reached Jake, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. He bent down to murmur in my ear, “God, I’ve missed you.”

I smiled and as I pulled back, I nodded to let him know I’d missed him too.

As the guys began to play, Jake put his arms around my waist and I leaned into him, my back to his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder, tracing ticklish patterns with the tips of his finger on my stomach through my thin T-shirt. I was lost in the feel of him, of the scent of his cologne, of the sound of his voice vibrating through me as he sang softly along with Lowe. It was no wonder I didn’t hear Rowena’s warning at first, not until she was tugging Jake back from me saying loudly and edgily, “Guys, the door.”

We jerked back from each other at the interruption, our breathing a little harried, and when we turned our heads toward the doorway, Jake instantly dropped my hand at the sight that greeted us.

Melissa.

She stood like a beacon in the crowd, flanked by two friends. The pain in her features made me want to crumple inside myself. I glanced up at Jake for direction but he was already making his way through the students toward his ex-girlfriend.

When he stopped beside her, she snapped at him, her eyes filling with tears as she gestured angrily toward me. Jake reached out to soothe her and she pulled on his shirt, her expression suddenly pleading. He ran a hand through his hair and nodded, nudging her toward the exit. Before he left with her, he mouthed an apology my way and held up his hand as if to say, “I’ll be five minutes.”

Just like that, our reunion was destroyed and all my happy was being eaten alive by guilt.

“Ye okay?” Rowena asked softly. She stood by Claudia’s side and the two of them were gazing at me in concern.

I shrugged. “I’m fine. He’ll be back soon.”

Unfortunately, Jake wasn’t back soon and I never got a text or a call as to why. By the time The Stolen’s set was finished, I still hadn’t heard anything from him and I was beginning to worry.

“I’ll walk Claudia home,” Denver offered as we were getting ready to leave the now-quiet bar. “You go back with the guys to their place. I’m sure he’s there.”

Deciding it was the best thing to do or I’d end up having another sleepless night, I followed Lowe, Beck, and Matt back to their apartment. Their common room was surprisingly clean considering a bunch of guys lived there, but then I remembered Beck telling me that Lowe was a bit of a clean freak.

Jake wasn’t there in amongst all the clean.

Lowe shrugged and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to me. “Just hang out here with us until he gets back.”

Feeling my annoyance building, I nodded but pulled out my phone and shot a text off to Jake asking him what was happening.

No reply.

The guys attempted to keep my mind off where they knew it was wandering—into irrational jealousy land where Jake was hooking up with his ex—but by one o’clock in the morning, I was starting to get pissed. And more worried. “Do you think something has happened to him?”

Beck frowned and shook his head. “Nah. They’re probably just hashing shit out.”

“They hashed shit out weeks ago. What else is there to say?” My shoulders slumped when they all looked anywhere but at me. “Look, I’m not a bitch, okay? The expression on Melissa’s face tonight … yeah. I hate that I’m a part of that. But we’re not even together, barely, and he’s already …” Shutting me out. I waved my phone at them, not saying out loud the words I was thinking.

When it hit two o’clock, I’d gone past feeling bad about being angry and was just plain mad. What the hell was he doing with her at two o’clock in the morning?

I shot to my feet. “I’m going to go,” I muttered, grabbing my coat.

“I’ll walk you,” Lowe insisted.

“No, it’s fine. It’s two minutes away.”

“I don’t care if it’s five seconds away. I’m walking you.”

Deciding to give into his chivalry, I was brittle as I marched out of the building. I couldn’t believe how terrible the night had been, a night I’d been looking forward to all week. A month into our “relationship” and Jake was already letting me down.

We’d barely taken two steps onto the pavement when Jake appeared around the corner. He saw us coming out of his building and started hurrying toward us.

My eyes narrowed on him, hating that he looked so good flushed from the cold, his eyes soulful and searching as he approached me. “Baby—”

“Save it,” I snapped, shaking my head and darting past him.

“I’ll walk her home,” Jake said sternly behind me.

I stopped and whirled around. “You will not. Lowe is walking me home.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Unless you want me and Lowe to have problems, you’ll let me see you home.”

Lowe held up his hands in a surrender gesture. “Sorry, Charley, but I’m exhausted. I’ll let Jake walk you home.”

“Traitor,” I grumbled to Lowe’s back as he hurried inside. My eyes flicked to Jake and I pinned him with my darkest glare to cover up my hurt. With a grunt of annoyance, I spun back around and started down the Cowgate toward my building.

Jake rushed to catch up. “Charley, let me explain—”

“Explain how you disappeared with your ex-girlfriend until two in the morning? Well, this should be good.”

“Don’t be like that,” he replied, a sharpness in his tone that told me he was pissed. “Mel’s having a difficult time letting go. She was trying to talk me into getting back together with her. I couldn’t leave her like that. It wasn’t exactly comfortable.”

Remembering the look on Melissa’s face, my shoulders slumped. “I don’t imagine it was,” I replied wearily, “but until two in the morning? And I texted you. You never replied.” I pushed open the door to my stairwell and started quickly up.

“I couldn’t. She was a mess. I was trying to handle it.”

“You were trying to be a good guy. I get it. But you broke up with her two months ago and if you’d been final like you said you were and explained everything like you said you did, Melissa wouldn’t have appeared tonight begging you to take her back. Which leads me to believe that your breakup must’ve been a little lukewarm, and if it was a little lukewarm, then what the hell are we doing here … taking it slow!” I hissed at him, shoving my key in the door.

I caught his glower before I pushed inside, hurrying down my hall to my bedroom. I wasn’t quick enough as I unlocked it and strode in with the intention of shutting it in his face. Jake shoved his way in and slammed it behind him.

“I have roommates,” I reminded him snippily.

“I couldn’t give a shit right now,” he growled. “Let’s rewind to the part where you think I don’t really want this with you.”

“Fine. Let’s do that.”

“You know what I think?” He stepped menacingly close, the air between us thick with ire and something much more powerful. “I think tonight I hurt you again and you know I didn’t mean to because you know I had to make sure that Melissa gets that we’re over and that I do that in the kindest way possible. I don’t think you’re angry about any of that. I think for the few hours I was away, you let yourself start to panic that I’m going to hurt you a whole lot worse than tonight. You started to panic because you still don’t trust me.”

I couldn’t say anything. I could barely catch my breath. Just like old times, Jake had read me, unbalanced me, and I didn’t know whether to haul him close or throw him out.

“You know what? I know I’ve got a lot to prove, but I’m still pissed, because I thought for sure you knew one simple truth.”

“And what’s that?” I asked, my body vibrating with Jake’s nearness.

“This.” His mouth slammed down on mine, his kiss hard and brutal and bruising as he wrapped a hand around my neck and yanked me against his body.

The familiar taste of him rushed through me and my body instantly lit up for him.

As I kissed Jake back, his kiss grew softer but no less heated, no less hungry, and suddenly we were tearing at one another’s clothes, desperate to meld skin to skin.

Our mouths broke apart as we tugged our sweaters off. Mine was barely gone when Jake’s strong hands were on my waist, caressing me, molding me, as if memorizing the shape of me. I pulled him back to my lips, my fingers digging into the golden smooth skin of his broad shoulders, my tongue licking his, urging him to control the kiss, to deepen it.

He answered my silent plea, our kiss wet and frantic, driven by the pure need to taste one another as deeply as possible. I gasped into his mouth, trying to catch my breath as he unhooked my bra. It slid slowly down my arms to the floor.

Goosebumps covered my breasts, my nipples erect in the cold air. I shivered but when Jake leaned back to stare down at me, a heated flush crept quickly back over my skin. I watched him in a lusty haze as he scraped his lower lip with his teeth, his study of me so intense the atmosphere between us blistered.

Slowly he reached out his hands and cupped my breasts, squeezing gently before rubbing his thumbs over my nipples. They pebbled under his touch, arousal coursing through my belly and down between my legs. Remembering how sensitive I was, Jake ducked his head and closed his hot mouth over my left nipple. I moaned, bowing my back, my fingers sliding through his hair to grip him close.

I grew damp … so ready for him.

My hips undulated against air as I whimpered his name.

Jake’s control snapped.

His mouth was back on mine and his kiss was hard again, demanding, biting, almost punishing, and I gave him as good as I got, sucking hard on his tongue. Jake shuddered against me, muttering a curse against my lips as he shoved me roughly onto the bed, his fingers deftly unbuttoning my jeans. With a quick tug, he slid them down my legs along with my panties and then he got on the bed, nudging my thighs apart as he stared down into my face. I’d never seen him look at me like that before. Desperate, possessive, needful.

And since I was feeling exactly the same way, my body was frenzied to answer his need.

Parting my lips on a rushed sigh, I slid my arms above my head so my breasts arched up toward him.

In response, Jake leaned over me, his hands encircling my wrists as he pressed his jeans-covered erection against my naked body. “You’re mine,” he whispered hoarsely against my mouth. “Always.”

“Jake,” I groaned, wild for him.

His right hand left my wrist to draw down his zipper. He shoved his jeans low enough to release his dick and then returned his hand to my wrist to pin me to the bed. I felt him throb hot and hard against my inner thigh.

Then all thought was lost as he slammed inside me before I could draw another breath. I cried out on an exhalation at the pleasure-pain that surged through me.

My thighs gripped Jake’s hips instinctively as he pulled back out only to thrust even harder. His rhythm was fast. It was definitely rougher than any sex we’d had before. Desperation to feel every inch of one another guided us. I could feel every inch of him and yet I gasped for more. “Jake, harder,” I begged as he pounded into me, his features fierce and taut with lust.

The bed surged against the wall as Jake fucked me toward climax. As the orgasm tore through me, ripping me into little pieces, I cried out his name so loudly, I’m sure the whole building heard me.

Fluttering back to earth like confetti, I felt Jake’s hips jerk against me. He threw his head back as he came and I watched him through lidded eyes, feeling my inner muscles contract in aftershocks around him as his climax drew out. Finally, he shuddered to a stop, his head dropping forward to my shoulder. His hands relaxed around my wrists as he kissed me and pressed a clammy cheek to my muggy skin. “Baby,” he moaned. “What was that?”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “That was a loss of control,” I whispered, still languid and dazed.

Jake’s fingers gripped my hip as lifted his head to look into my eyes, his own suddenly filled with remorse. “Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head, a small smile playing on my lips. “You exhausted me, but not hurt.” I brushed a thumb tenderly over his mouth. “It was … wow.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, seeming just as dazed. “I … I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

I smiled at him, shielding him from my inward wince as he pulled out of me. “I’m on the pill, by the way,” I murmured casually since he’d obviously forgotten about protection in his determination to have me.

Jake groaned as I moved over to make space on the twin bed. “I’m a genius tonight.”

“We’re good,” I assured him and he smiled as I yawned. “Sorry. You’ve tired me out.”

He kissed me softly, the tip of his tongue just touching the tip of mine. “I’ll let you sleep.”

“Mmm, I guess we’re done taking it slow.”

He laughed softly, enfolding his arms around me. Jake snuggled me close and I decided for tonight not to think about anything too serious or too worrying and just delight in the languorous satisfaction of mind-blowing sex that had melted my limbs.

I was relaxed, at peace for the first time in a long time, when Jake pressed his mouth to my ear and whispered, “I love you, Charley Redford.”

Stiffening at the confession, it took me a few seconds to get my breathing back under control. Fear shot through me, paralyzing me, and the words I was sure I felt, lodged in my throat.

I couldn’t say it back.

I wasn’t ready.

Instead, I snuggled deeper into him, hoping he’d understand my silence.

Jake’s fingers brushed through my hair gently. “I can wait.”

A heavy weight was settled on my back, foreign limbs tangled with mine, and I felt trapped against the mattress for a second as I tried to work out what was happening.

I pried my eyes open, wincing against the light filtering in through the thin curtains at my small window. The bleariness eventually cleared from my vision, and I caught sight of my hand on the mattress beside my head and realized masculine fingers were curled around my wrist.

The night before came flooding back to me and the memory of Jake surging inside of me had my lower belly clenching in lust. My wrist twitched in his hot grip and I felt and heard a masculine purr against my shoulder.

Jake was sleeping across my back, his face pressed to my skin, his torso half on me, half on the mattress and his knee bent between my legs.

He shifted, rousing from his contented sleep.

I’d never woken up with Jake after a night of sex and sleeping together. During our eight-month relationship, we’d been too young to have that moment. Feeling myself get stupidly weepy about it, I covered it by grumbling against my pillow, “If you’re going to be settled heavily between my legs, I should at least get something good out of it.”

His chuckle rumbled through his chest and moved against my back in a deliciously intimate way. “Morning to you too.”

“Mmm, morning.”

He let go of my wrist and coasted a hand down my side, his touch shivery soft, as he caressed my bottom and then gently slipped two fingers inside me. I groaned, widening my legs.

“Baby.” Jake’s dick hardened against my outer thigh. “You’re wet already.”

I curled my fingers into the sheets. “Don’t stop.”

He kept gliding in and out of me slowly, torturously building tension as his mouth scattered kisses all over my skin. Stopping his sensual assault, Jake eased off to turn me onto my back. His dark eyes glistened in the morning light as he teased strands of my wavy hair between his finger and thumb. “I missed your hair,” he kissed it, dropping it to pick up my hand so he could press kisses along my knuckles. “I missed everything about you.”

“I missed you too,” I confessed quietly, smiling through the tears in my eyes. “Like a whole lot.”

He smiled back at me before he turned his attention to kissing every inch of me. Spending more time between my legs than anywhere, his masterful use of his tongue on my clit had me breaking apart. Loudly. He levered himself up, bracing above me, and as my lower half still shuddered in climax, Jake moved inside me slowly. I sighed in pleasure, and my hands gripped his waist as he rocked into me gently. His head dipped to kiss me deeply, meaningfully, reassuringly.

That morning Jake spent a long time making me come, making me dazed, and making love to me. It was a stark contrast to our fast and furious sex the night before and far, far more beautifully scary.

We didn’t come out of my room until early afternoon, waiting until we were sure my roommates had gone for the day. I’d been pretty loud and was almost a little embarrassed to face them. Especially Gemma, who probably wouldn’t take too kindly to her roommate having loud sex with her friend’s ex-boyfriend.

Pouring Jake a black coffee as he settled on the seats by the kitchen window, I winced as I remembered my attitude the night before. Taking the coffee over to him, I attempted to ignore the hot, satisfied look in his eyes as I approached. It would only distract me and we really needed to talk.

“I’m sorry about my attitude last night,” I told him quietly, handing him the mug. “I know you were just trying to be a good guy.”

Reaching over for the nearest chair, I was about to take a seat in the opposite corner when Jake pulled me onto his lap. It brought me close to him and my nostrils flared slightly at the scent of my perfume lingering on him.

Something primal and possessive rushed through me at the realization.

Jake was mine again.

The breath whooshed right out of me.

“You don’t have to be sorry. No one does. It’s a shitty situation,” he assured me. “But I promise it’s the last time I prioritize her over you. I just … felt I owed her last night. I owed it to be patient and kind with her. I owe you more, though, Charley. I promise it won’t happen again.”

I nodded in understanding. “Does Melissa finally get what’s happening here?”

His eyes dimmed as he nodded. “She’s still pretty broken up. She kept talking around in circles, trying to convince me … I eventually had to just lay it out. I told her I was in love with you and I always would be. I told her I was sorry, but that nothing she said could change my mind.”

I closed my eyes, remembering how awful it was to lose him. “I feel terrible for her.”

He cupped the back of my head, just behind my ear, while his thumb pressed lightly against the pulse in my neck. My eyes popped open as he leaned his face into mine. “You have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? I won’t have that on you.”

A memory of the first time Jake held me like that—on the track at school back home—came to me only to be obliterated by the memory of him holding Melissa like that in the student union.

An ache I thought was gone cut through me and I jerked my head from his grip. “Don’t.”

He frowned, a flicker of unease passing through his eyes. “Don’t what?”

Trying to understand my own reaction, I shook my head. My only guess … I wasn’t quite over what he’d had with Melissa. I’d had a relationship too, so it wasn’t that (although we needed to discuss it and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to telling Jake about the particulars). It was just that I’d never had closeness with anyone but Jake, and Jake … well, he’d definitely been close to Melissa. Despite his declaration of love and my silence on the matter, I realized that deep down, I was worried I was always going to be that little bit more in love with Jake than he’d ever be with me. That didn’t sit well. Not at all.

Shoving the ridiculous notion aside, I shrugged. “I don’t like you holding my nape like that.” I smirked at him, attempting to turn it into a joke. “It’s so alpha male.”

However, Jake didn’t smile. He studied me, growing somewhat grim. “Char—”

The kitchen door swung open, cutting him off. Claudia walked in, chattering to Beck over her shoulder. Beck’s gaze moved to us, drawing Claudia’s attention.

For a moment she just blinked at us and then a sly grin spread across her mouth. “Thanks for the lack of sleep, guys.”

I blushed, groaning into my hand as Jake laughed softly and wrapped an arm around my waist. He gently moved my body where he wanted it to be so I was tucked with my back against his chest, his chin resting on my shoulder.

Claudia shook her head, still smiling. “Look at them, sickeningly cute already.”

I curled a hand around the thigh of Jake’s bent leg, getting comfortable. “For someone who didn’t get much sleep last night, you seem awful cheery.”

She gave Beck a long look and he nodded at her. With a deep breath she turned to me, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I told Beck everything my mom told me about my real dad.”

After the incident with the groupie girl at Milk that first night back, Claudia had cooled off toward Beck, not confiding in him, hanging out with him less. It drove him nuts and he wore her down until she started letting him in again. I didn’t know which one of them I wanted to shake the sense into. All I did know was that I didn’t like the idea of my friend letting a guy—no matter how kind he could be—continually walk all over her feelings. Claudia was a little defensive on the whole subject, so I’d decided to leave her to it and just be there for her when their relationship finally cracked.

Jake stiffened behind me and it suddenly occurred to me he didn’t know anything about Claudia’s family situation. It must’ve struck Claudia too because she informed him far more carelessly than she felt. “Oh, at Christmas my dad dropped the bombshell that he’s not my real dad. Turns out my real dad is this retired artist, Dustin Tweedie. He lives in Barcelona.”

“Shit,” Jake muttered. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

“Exactly,” Claudia replied dryly. “Anyway, I told Beck and he helped me come to a decision. So I called my mom.”

I raised an eyebrow, not knowing where she might be going with this. “Okay?”

She smiled but the smile was shaky, nervous, but excited too. “She’s going to pay for me, you, Beck, and Jake to stay in Barcelona for spring break … so I can meet my real father.”

My mouth dropped open at the news. Jake gave me a reassuring squeeze when he felt my body grow tense against him. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Claudia nodded jerkily. “I need to do it. Otherwise it’s just going to eat at me. And I’d invite everyone, but I don’t want everyone there. It’s too personal. I just need you guys with me. If you’re willing to come along with me, that is.”

“Of course.” I nodded

“I’m happy to come too,” Jake answered softly as my eyes sought out Beck’s. Not sure this was a good idea at all, I kind of blamed him for encouraging it.

I won’t let anything happen to her, he promised me silently.

I narrowed my eyes. That makes two of us.

“Well,” Claudia heaved a sigh, “that’s good news. And it’ll be fun too. I mean, Barcelona,” she smiled, trying to cut the tension. “It’s still a few months away. Something to look forward to. Your parents will be fine with it, right?”

At the mention of my parents, I tensed again. “Uh … yeah.”

Understanding my sudden discomfort, Claudia’s eyes widened. “Oh, you haven’t told your mom and dad about Jake. That should be fun,” she grimaced.

Jake stilled behind me.

“Fuck,” I murmured.

Jake had asked me a few times in the last month about my family and their reaction to us being back together. I’d been deliberately vague about the whole thing because … well … I hadn’t told them. They knew something was up because I’d been somewhat cagey in our conversations, but I just hadn’t been able to bring myself to discuss Jake with them.

The truth was I didn’t know how to discuss it with them, to make them understand, when I was still trying to work out the whole thing for myself.

By the tightening of Jake’s body against mine, I could tell he wasn’t happy about the news. He’d told his family. Apparently they were delighted for him, for us.

Shit.

“Anyway,” Claudia gave me an apologetic smile before continuing on, “Beck and I were just dropping by to grab my purse before we head to the movies.”

“Movies?” I jumped on the idea, suddenly not wanting to be alone with Jake because I knew he was like a dog with a bone and would interrogate me about my family and then ask me about the whole “nape” thing again until I told him the truth.

Claud frowned. “You want to come?”

“Sure.” I twisted around to smile at Jake. “Movies?”

He studied me carefully, and I knew he didn’t like whatever he saw behind my eyes. But he let it go and nodded slowly.

I crawled out of his lap, ignoring the strain between us. Pulling playfully on his hand, I tugged him up off the seat. We filed out of the kitchen after Beck and Claudia, grabbing our coats as we went. Claudia and Beck stepped out into the building hallway and I was just about to follow when Jake’s hand appeared above my head on the door and he slammed it closed.

Whirling around in surprise, I stared up at him as he pressed his body into mine. “What are you doing?”

There was a wary aspect in his eyes as he replied, “I don’t really feel like a movie right now.”

“Oh?”

“I have something far more active in mind.”

Relieved that he didn’t want to talk and also already turned on, I gave him a cocky once-over. “Do you think I’ll find it satisfactorily entertaining?”

“I’m thinking mind-blowing.”

“Mind-blowing?” I arched an eyebrow. “You’ll have to work really hard for mind-blowing.”

He smirked at me, his eyes lidded with desire. “I think I’m up for the challenge.”

“It’ll have to—”

He cut me off but I didn’t care when he did it with such skill. His kiss was lush and earthy and so addictive. I held onto him for dear life as he kissed me breathless. When he eventually came up for air, I panted hard against his mouth. “Mind-blowing could definitely work for me.”

Jake gave me a cocky smile and grabbed my hand, leading me back down the hall toward my bedroom. “Don’t get too comfortable,” he told me smoothly. “Sex first. Issues and answers later.”

My grip tightened in his at his announcement and despite my fear of Jake discovering just how fragile my grasp on our relationship was, I followed him bravely inside.

I may not be ready to let Jake lead me back into the deep, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t willing to let him try …