Текст книги "Affliction"

Автор книги: River Savage

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Sy

“Catch me.”

“Keira?” I call when I hear her high-pitched laugh echoing through the field.

“Daddy, you came,” she replies, laughing off into the distance.

“Come back.” I reach out, but I can’t see her, only hear her.

“Catch me,” she whispers again, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t find her.

“Look at that sunset, Daddy,” she laughs again, the breeze carrying the sweet sound farther and farther away from me.

“Keira,” I yell out again, desperate to find her, to touch her, to see her.

“Bye, Daddy,” she murmurs, only this time, I see her. She stands silhouetted against all the colors of the universe as the afternoon sun sets.

“Wait, Keira!”

My pleading pulls me from my sleep. Fuck, not again.

Reaching over to my nightstand, I pull a photograph of Keira, out of my wallet. One of the only ones I allow myself to have. Her small head, bald from treatment, shines under the brightness of the hospital lights. Fuck, I miss her.

Reaching back over, I take out the second photo of a time when I was happy. Katie and Keira both stare back at me, laughing at something I had said. Life back then was worlds different to the one I live now.

Placing my most prized possessions back safely in their place, I climb out of bed and make my way up to the clubhouse. No point in trying to go back to sleep now, especially after that nightmare.

“Yo Sy, you’re up early,” Jesse calls from the sofa as I walk into the main room.

“Come join me,” he smacks the ass of the blonde next to him, to wake her. “Time to go, baby. Get your shit and split,” he says, smiling down at her. She obeys, taking her half-naked ass down the hall.

“What’s happening?” I question, ignoring the woman and making my way into the kitchen in search of some breakfast.

“Ahh, you know, same fuck, different hole.” He follows, laughing at his own joke.

“You’re a sick man, Jesse,” Beau replies, looking up from his breakfast when we walk into the room.

“Aww, come on, you know it was a good one.” I don’t reply, not getting into it with either of them. This is what it’s like living in the clubhouse.

“What have you got going on this week, Sy?” Beau asks, giving up his argument with Jesse.

“I’m busy with the shop all week. Why?”

“Just had a call from Tiny. We have a girl coming in this week, need some help setting her up,” he explains while making coffee.

“Well, if I’m free, then I’ll be there,” I tell him, drinking from the juice carton.

“Eww, Sy. Use a damn glass,” Kadence scolds, walking in behind me.

“You stayed here last night?” I ignore her glass comment, turning to see her in her pajamas.

“Yeah, Nix had to work late and Z is at my parents. Didn’t want to sleep alone,” she admits, looking down. It makes me realize she must also still be dealing with the shit Zane and fucking Gunner put them through that night. I wonder if Holly has problems sleeping.

“Hey, baby. I’ve told you not to leave the bed, before I wake.” Nix comes up behind her, groping her in places that make her bitch him out in front of us.

“So fucking whipped,” Beau says under his breath but for all of us to hear.

“Whatever, asshole, you’re just jealous,” Nix calls him out, but I don’t stand around waiting for his reply. Leaving them, I head back to my room to get ready to meet Holly.

I wasn’t expecting to run into her yesterday. I did know she had started at the gym a couple of weeks ago. Kadence mentioned it one night that she was working out, but I didn’t know it was at my gym. After waking up from a fucked-up sleep yesterday, I needed to release some pent up frustration. Normally, I work out at night when it’s less busy, but when I pulled up and saw her getting out of her car, I knew it was meant to be. At first, I was pissed at the outfit she had on. Before she even walked through the door, some beef-head fuckers were checking her out. The skin tight yoga pants and tight-as-fuck top that pushed her tits together were any mans fucking picture of sexy. She has no idea how gorgeous she is. It’s not even an attempted sex appeal; it’s a natural sexuality that she exudes even when she doesn’t realize she’s doing it. That’s why I had to pull her into the private boxing room, before I started pissing around her to mark my territory. She might not be mine just yet, but she will be and I’ll be fucked if I have to watch some juiced-up fucker undress her with his eyes.

Picking up my gym bag, I throw in a change of clothes, hoping to convince her into going for one of the fucking disgusting drinks she says she gets after every workout.

“I’m out,” I call to the boys as I walk past them having breakfast.

“You heading to the gym?” Jesse asks around a mouthful of food.

“Yeah, I’ve got to get an early workout in,” I mention, hoping he doesn’t invite himself along.

“If you give me twenty, I’ll come with,” he says. Fuck.

“Don’t have time to wait around today, Jesse.” I knock him back. If there is anyone I don’t like working out with, it’s Jesse. The man is as bad as the fake bitches who check themselves out in the mirror. No, he’s worse.

“Your loss then,” he shrugs, going back to his breakfast.

“What gym do you go to again?” Kadence eyes me wearing a sneaky smile.

“Just down on main,” I answer, not liking her assessing me.

“Huh, that’s where Holly works out.” She smiles again, but I don’t react. Never react.

“Never seen her there,” I say, turning and walking out the door. If she thinks she will have me slipping up, she has no idea who she’s dealing with.

“Have fun,” she laughs, and I wonder just how much she knows. Has Holly told her, or is she as observant as me?

I don’t reply as I leave the room.

***

I pull up at the front of X-Sports Gym and see her instantly. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. She has on a tiny pair of fucking shorts and a skin tight top. She may as well be wearing her fucking bra and panties. She smiles over at me, and it's one of the real ones. Not the fake shit she likes to put on show for everyone. It takes everything in me not to pick her up, throw her over my fucking shoulder and take her away.

“Hey,” she greets me, looking up in my direction. I know she knows I’m pissed. I can see it play out over her face. So instead of giving her the reaction she’s hoping for, I act like it doesn’t affect me.

“Hey,” I say, nodding down at her. “You ready to do this?” I ask, walking past her to swipe my access card. She doesn’t reply as she follows.

“I’m gonna go change,” I tell her, walking into the locker rooms and leaving her behind. I have to adjust myself in my gym gear and try to control my anger over the little stunt she just pulled. Giving it a few moments, I walk out not knowing how I’m going to be able to get through the morning being so close to her with her dressed the way she is.

“You good to go?” I ask, walking up to her. She’s talking to Andy, the fucker douche-bag trainer who has a big mouth and bigger eyes that don’t know how to stay above the chin.

“Yeah,” she answers, saying goodbye to Andy and following me. I don’t know what is happening right now, but this is not how I expected our morning to end up. I look over at her and see her looking unsure as she follows me into the room.

“Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?” I finally ask when we let ourselves into the private room.

“What are you talking about?” she challenges, walking past me to the storage room, retrieving the gloves and pads.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“No, really I don’t,” she protests, passing me the pads.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” I finally cave and ask.

“Gym clothes. I picked them up yesterday, do you like?” she sasses, and I’m so fucking close to kissing the sass out of her, but that would just be pushing it. Instead, I drop the pads, rip my shirt over my head and throw it at her.

“Put it on,” I demand as she catches it.

“What?” She jerks back, her eyes growing wide.

“Put the shirt on, now, Holly.” I punch out each word, not in the mood for games. She holds my gaze in anger and my shirt with disdain.

“What’s your problem?” she demands, mimicking my pose.

“You are my problem. You have no clothes on for starters. Why do you insist on making this harder on me when I’m already struggling?” I ask her, wanting an answer.

“It was a joke,” she huffs, putting the shirt on and covering her half-nakedness. The shirt falls to mid-thigh, and I don’t know what’s worse, seeing her in tight fitting gym clothes, or seeing her in one of my shirts.

“Fuck,” I growl, frustrated.

“What now?” she sighs, looking innocent.

“Nothing. Now get your ass here so we can work out,” I boss her, picking up the pads and feeling better that no other fucker can see her. I didn’t realize just how hard this shit would be. I know I need to tread carefully, take it easy on her, but the more time we spend together, the easier it is to lose control. I just have to keep doing what I’m doing and pray she finally comes around. ‘Cause if she pulls any shit like that again, there will be no controlling my reaction.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Holly

“Mom?” I call out, walking into my childhood home. The smell of her famous chicken wing marinade fills the air.

“In here,” she sing-songs from her favorite place in the house: her kitchen.

“Hey.” I round the corner to see her preparing lunch for our Saturday grill out.

“Hey doll, how are you?” she questions, looking up from the kitchen island and giving me a huge smile. She looks beautiful today, not that she doesn’t normally, but put together. Her pale blouse looks new and her tawny brown hair is blown back away from her face. I can see she’s put a light coating of mascara on her eyelashes, making her blue eyes seem bigger.

“I’m good, Mom. How are you?” I come forward around the large stone-top bench and kiss her cheek as she dries her hands on her apron. Our kitchen is huge and holds so many warm memories of growing up. It’s the kitchen where I bonded with my mother. We’d spend our early evenings here when I was a teenager talking about school, friends and boys while she taught me how to cook. If I needed to find my mother, I would walk into this room, and more often than not, she would be here, baking away or preparing something to feed us for our next meal.

“I’ll be better when your father sorts out his new grill.” She rolls her eyes at my father and his new toys.

“He bought a new one?”

“Don’t ask me why. He’s only had the last one for barely a year, but he insisted.” She smiles, shaking her head at my dad. After thirty years, my parents are still happily married. She loves his annoying ways because he continues to be annoying. I know they adore each other. You can see it in the way they are together. Speaking without saying words. The way they move in sync like they know what the other is going to do. That makes me want what they have.

“How’s work?” she asks, moving over to the fridge to retrieve more tomatoes.

“Getting there, slowly building up my clients,” I fill her in. We normally talk every other day, but since I’ve been back at work and spending more time with Sy, I’ve been neglecting her. I know she’s suspecting something is up.

“Well, that’s good, honey. I knew you would do well there.” She continues to chop away, making her famous salad.

“Where’s Sam?” I ask, grabbing a glass down from one of the cupboards and try not to let out a cry of pain. After working out with Sy all week, I feel like a truck has hit me. I’ve never been so sore from exercise. The first day I woke up, I thought I was sick. It wasn’t until I said something to Sy the other day that he told me it was a good thing. After a hot bath every night, I try to stretch out the worst of it.

“Ohh, Sam is bringing a girl. He just called earlier.” She sounds excited, like the thought of her boy bringing home a date is something she has been waiting for forever.

“Sam is bringing a girl home?” I ask, shocked, and then realize why she looks so together today. She dressed up to meet her.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No, he didn’t tell me.”

“Tell you what?” Sam cuts me off as he walks into the kitchen. I’m about to drill him when at the last second I see a small, pretty blonde girl come in behind him.

“Oh, hello.” Mom stops her chopping and dries her hands to greet Sam’s new girl.

“Mom, this is Claire. Claire, this beautiful woman is my mom, Melinda, and my sister, Holly.” He points to both of us.

“Well, look at you.” My mom takes her in her arms, and embraces her like a long lost daughter. I try not to groan as she embarrasses the poor girl.

“Mom, let her go. You’re scaring her,” Sam finally says, trying to pry Claire out of our mom’s arms.

“Oh, hush.” Mom swats him away while keeping Claire at arm’s length. “Let me get a good look at you. Oh, you’re such a doll,” she says, looking her over. I can already tell my mom is in love. She only calls her favorite people dolls. Claire smiles shyly and a light blush coats her cheeks. I can tell she is perfect for my brother. He is demanding, bossy and too pigheaded to go head to head with a similar match. No, he needs someone soft and sweet; someone who gets under his skin in another way. I have no doubt Claire already has by the way he’s looking uneasy for her.

“Hi.” I smile and wave over at her, hoping to stop my mom from freaking her out. Sam must like her if he brought her home, and we don’t want to scare her away. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She smiles back and gives an awkward wave.

“Where’s Dad?” Sam asks, taking Claire’s hand and tucking her back into his side.

“Outside fixing the grill. Go help him. He’s been grumbling all afternoon about it.”

“Come on, baby, let’s go see my dad,” he says, leaning down to kiss her forehead. I’ve never seen my brother this way before, and of all the emotions running through me, the one pulling at my heart the most is happiness—happiness for him and the girl who is clearly brightening his world. I’m silent as I watch them go out to meet Dad. As soon as the back door closes, my mom turns and squeals.

“Oh, my gosh, she is beautiful.” Her hands come out in front of her, expressing her excitement. “Who would have thought he would meet someone so soft and beautiful,” she sighs, lost in the moment. Oh, God, Mom.

“Calm down, Mom. You’ll scare her off.”

“Oh, please, I wouldn’t scare anyone off.” She goes back to her salad. She’s right. My mom’s pretty kickass, and everyone loves her. It would take a lot not to like my mom.

“You’re right, but if you don’t calm down, you might scare me off.” I smile as I fill up a glass with some wine.

She stops and looks up, “How are you feeling?” she asks, taking on a serious tone. She asks me this question every time I see her, and as much as I love her for it, sometimes it’s just nice to not have to answer.

“I’m good, Mom,” I assure her, knowing it’s the best way. I don’t want to tell her that this week I had a major panic attack in the middle of the changing room, or that I woke up in a sweat from a nightmare twice. I don’t even want to tell her that spending time with Sy has helped me either. I know she is only looking out for me, but I hate seeing the concern fill her eyes when she knows what a crappy week I’ve had.

“Well, that’s good, baby,” she smiles, leaving it be for today and going back to making sure lunch will be on time.

“Want me to do something?”

“Where’s my baby girl?” My dad’s loud voice calls from the back door, cutting off my offer to help.

“Hey, Dad.” I smile, place my glass down on the counter top and walk to my favorite man in my life. His salt and pepper hair looks as thick as it did fifteen years ago. The groomed mustache that he’s worn since the day I was born has only just started turning sliver-white, but it’s his eyes that I love the most. The laugh lines have increased over the years, telling a story of how much he has lived and loved. My dad has always been a handsome man, but when he smiles, he’s something else.

“I didn’t know you were here,” he says, walking up to me, taking me in his strong arms, and squeezing me tightly. I hold in the urge to groan at the pain of his hug over my sore muscles.

“I was about to come find you,” I wheeze, watching over his shoulder as Sam walks back in with Claire.

“Well, let’s get this started. I’m starved,” he exclaims, always ready to eat. “Liddy, you ready, sweetheart?” He turns to look at my mom.

“Yeah, just waiting on you, Jack.” She smiles up at him.

“Then let’s eat.” He leans down, smacking her ass as she walks forward. My mom giggles at his smack.

“Dad,” I groan, not wanting to see that. I might love them dearly, but it’s too weird for me when they get all touchy feely.

“How’s Kadence?” Mom inquires after we’ve sat down to eat out on the back decking. Sy was right when he said I haven’t been eating much. The last few months I’ve barely been hungry, but the last few weeks my appetite has started to return. I ignore the looks between my mom and dad and continue to pile my plate.

“She’s good. Her bachelorette party is coming up.”

“Oh, good, and what do you have planned?”

“Oh, you know, strippers, games, drinks, the normal fun stuff,” I inform my mom while watching my brother, and father roll their eyes.

“Sounds like fun,” Claire smiles across from me. The more I watch them, I can see how much my brother is taken with Claire by the way he looks at her. I’ve never seen him so attentive to a woman before.

“You should come,” I invite her, just as I see my brother’s eyes meet mine.

“Hell, no,” he says, shaking his head.

“Sam.” Mom scolds him for the use of hell at the dining table.

“Sorry, Mom,” he rushes out, like the pansy he is. I smirk and his eyes narrow.

“I’m serious, Claire. If you want to come, you’re more than welcome,” I tell her, ignoring his glare.

“Umm, thanks. I’ll think about it,” she says, looking over at Sam. I’m willing to bet that if he weren’t sitting there, she would totally be down with it.

“When did you become so caveman-like, Sam?” I question, pissing him off more.

“Stop it you two,” Dad says before we get out of hand, but I have no problem taking him on.

“What’s the matter? Afraid the strippers might show her what she’s missing out on?” I laugh, and he practically growls from his spot next her. The table falls silent, and I look up to see my family staring at me.

“What?” I smile as they continue to watch me.

“It’s just… I don’t think we’ve heard that laugh in such a long time.” Mom breaks the awkward silence.

“Oh,” is all I can say, and my smile falls from my face when I see my dad wipe a stray tear away. “Come on, guys. I haven’t been that bad,” I try to lighten the moment, but they remain silent, watching me as if I’m a stranger.

“You’ve been pretty bad, sis,” Sam speaks next. I think back over the last three months. Have I not been hiding the pain as well as I thought? Have I not been sheltering my family enough?

“I didn’t know,” I say, feeling like an asshole for all I’ve put them through.

“You’ve been fine, sweetheart.” My dad clears his throat. “It’s just good to see you happy again.”

“Well, I haven’t had much to be happy about,” I admit for the first time aloud.

“And you feel like you do now?” Mom asks, knowing that something is up.

“I’m not sure,” I reply honestly, not ready to share what I’m feeling when I’m not even sure what it is that’s happening between Sy and me. I know my newfound confidence and happiness has to do with him; we just haven’t defined what we have, and I don’t want to push it. Do I want more? Yes. Even if this thing is just a friendship happening between us, then I will be happy with that. I feel a lightness within me whenever he is around. Even if he has the power to turn that light to dark, I find myself wanting to risk it more and more. I look up and catch my family watching me, and I smile at them—an actual genuine smile. I’m not sure if whatever it is that is happening will last, but in this moment right now, I’m happy. I’m going to take that happiness and try not to lose it.

PAST

Sy

“I hate you,” she spits from the bathroom floor, her drugs lying carefree beside her. She doesn’t even try to hide it anymore.

“I hate you, too, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit here, and watch you kill yourself.”

“I wish you were the one who died. She didn’t deserve to die,” she continues to spit her venom. I’m used to it. I’ve been blocking it out for two years now, so I'm conditioned to it. I know it's not her talking; it's the drugs. The Katie I knew wouldn't speak like this.

"You don't think I wish for that every day, Katie? I would fucking sacrifice anything to swap places with her.” I run my hand over my face in frustration. I don’t know why I bother.

“Why are you even here, Sylas? I don’t want to see you anymore,” she slurs, resting her head back against the bathroom wall. Fuck me, she’s a mess.

“I'm taking you into Whitehaven Detox,” I tell her, picking up the used syringe she just shot into her arm. She is beyond my help now.

“No, I'm not going back there.” She sits up in a panic. “I won't do it.”

“You will, Katie. Last month I found you sitting in a pool of your own blood. Now you're shooting up? If you don't come willingly, we are going to admit you for evaluation.” I threaten her with what her family and I spoke about earlier.

“Why won’t you all just leave me alone?” she screams, hitting her head back in frustration. “Just leave me alone.”

I don’t know why I don’t just walk away, walk away from the train wreck that is my wife, but I promised Keira I wouldn’t. I didn’t realize it would be so fucking hard.