Текст книги "Affliction"
Автор книги: River Savage
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CHAPTER FIVE
Sy
Could I be any more fucking stupid? Fucking her and then leaving her standing there naked and pissed. They both fall under the most-stupid-shit-I-did-last-night category. I was screwed when she came out of the bathroom and crashed into me. With her milky white hands coming to my arms, the look of them against my ink made me want her in that second. Her smart-ass mouth reminded me why she was bad news, but when that fucker walked up and smirked at me, I knew I had to do something. I fucked her because I didn’t want anyone else to. No, I cock blocked her, but then couldn’t keep my own dick in my pants. If I could beat my own ass, I would. I shouldn’t have left her standing there, but the panic in her eyes when she realized I didn’t use a condom had me itching to get out of there. What the fuck is wrong with me? This woman has me twisted inside out. Yet, I can’t seem to get enough.
Setting up my station for our first day back in Ink Me, I try to push all thoughts of Holly out of my head.
“You all right, boss?” Rue asks, coming to stand in front of me. Rue is one of Ink Me’s employees. Her dark purple hair, heavily pierced face, and sleeve-tattooed arms are a total fucking turn-on. But since I’m her boss, she’s off limits. Not to mention, since I met one pure-skinned, sexy blonde, I haven’t had eyes for anyone else. Fuck me.
“Yep,” I answer, not giving her my attention. I’m not in the mood for her, or anyone this morning.
“Sweet, you have a nine a.m. first up, and then back-to-back all day.” I nod in answer, knowing it’s easier to be an asshole from the start of the day. Spinning on my stool, I dismiss her and continue to set up my station. She gets the hint, leaving me alone so I can get lost in my head. I need to work. I need to clear my head from everything that happened last night.
Finished setting up, I move to the employee lounge, and make myself my second coffee of the morning. When I first came back to Rushford, I never thought I would go back to tattooing again. I left that part of me back in Brighton with the family I left behind, but I knew a part of me was missing. It was something I didn’t want to let go. When the club discussed another shop, I knew it was my chance to get that part of me back. The boys didn’t dig into my shit when I told them my idea, and if they were shocked to learn about my tattooing background, they didn’t say anything.
“Sy, there’s someone to see you,” Rue interrupts my thoughts of the past.
“Have them come through,” I tell her, finishing the rest of my coffee.
“Not your appointment. Someone else.”
Standing from my position, I make my way back out to the front of the shop and curse when I notice Holly sitting there. Fuck
“What are you doing here?” I bark out before I think. She flinches and then quickly hides it before standing and brushing her hands down her yellow dress. I follow the movement, holding myself together as I take her in. Fuck me. She calls me sunshine, but standing before me, she looks the picture of it today. The morning sun kisses the tops of her shoulders and her hair sits up on top of her head hiding its long length. Visions of her up against the wall, her rose-tipped nipples peeking out through the golden ends of her hair, flash in front of me as I remember just how perfect she is.
“Not that I want to be here, Sunshine, but we need to talk,” she says, walking toward me. Her calling me Sunshine stirs my gut more than it should.
“I’ve got nothing to say,” I tell her, feeling more like an asshole every time I give it to her. There’s something about this woman that fucking gets to me.
“Yeah, I gathered that, when you left me with your cum still rolling down my legs,” she snaps. I flinch but don’t say anything. “Seeing as you left—” She raises her brow, “—I had to come and speak to you.” She folds her arms across her chest, waiting for me to respond.
“Don’t know what we have to talk about? We fucked. That's it,” I say, annoyed she’s turning into a hang on.
“Fuck, you’re a piece of work. I thought you might like to know I’m clean,” she says, waiting for me to respond, but I don't. I'm more pissed that just seeing her again has my dick wanting more and my mouth watering at remembering her taste. Fuck, I should never have caved.
“And?” she asks, prompting me.
“And...” I reply, being a bigger asshole.
“Well, how about you?”
“I think I’m fine,” I tell her, shrugging like I don’t really give a fuck, but I know I’m clean. I don’t normally fuck without protection, so for me to even fuck her without a condom has my mind completely messed up.
“You really are something, you know that?” she huffs, pissed no doubt that I’m acting this way. If only she knew this way is better.
“Believe it, woman.”
“Oh, I believe it, and you better believe if you give me some fucked-up disease, I’ll let every asshole in this town know what a filthy, fucking small-cocked, douchebag you really are.” She ends on a shout right as my first customer walks in. I don’t say anything, so she turns and storms out of the shop without a backward glance.
“Shit, boss. That was totally a douchebag move,” Rue comments from the front desk, obviously listening in instead of greeting the customer.
“Don’t give a fuck,” I tell her and head back to my station.
“I hope for your sake you don’t give her anything. I wouldn’t put it past her to follow through on her threat,” she chuckles, turning to the customer. Fuck me. I knew she was gonna be trouble. I should go to her and explain everything; tell her just to leave me the fuck alone, but I don’t. She’s better off thinking I’m an ass. That way, she’ll stay away. I can’t tell her there are some wounds that can’t be mended, yet we carry them with us, hoping for a chance that maybe someday, someone can fix them.
I can’t be fixed.
***
“Yeah, I gathered that, asshole, when you left me with your cum still rolling down my legs.” I replay Holly’s words over and over in my head the next morning. After she left the shop yesterday, her words fucked with me all day. I fucked up when I took her against the wall. Even in my reasoning that one time would be enough to get my fill, I knew I was kidding myself. I crossed the line and now I’m dealing with it.
“Hey, brother.” Jesse knocks on my door, pulling me out of the pissed-off Holly rant running through my head. “Nix wants a meet, now,” he says.
“Yep,” I yell, rubbing my hands over my face. “Got it.” I grab my cut and force myself to stop thinking about the past and more importantly, Holly.
Closing the door to my small apartment, I make my way back up to the clubhouse.
I need to get my head clear and stop fucking thinking of her. What is it about this woman? Since I walked out of her house two nights ago, leaving her without a goodbye, I haven’t stopped thinking about her. It wasn’t my intention to fuck her. But the question in her eyes as she stood in front of me, asking what happened to me, made me snap. Her whole attitude when she speaks to me snaps something inside me. Maybe it’s the fact she’s the first woman who isn’t clingy, or hasn’t seen me as a conquest to fix. She looks at me as a challenge on a different level; not one for her to play, but one for her to conquer. I tried to stay away, tried to force myself not to be tempted by her, but now I’ve had a taste, I can’t seem to turn my need for her off.
“Don’t look so excited to see me,” Jesse says as I walk into church.
“Piss off,” I grunt, hitting him over the head. Jesse is the joker of the group. Sometimes, he’s a funny fucker—other times, he just pisses me off.
“What’s crawled up your ass?” he asks as I sit down around the oak wood table. “Let me guess: that hot chick you got working in the shop is giving you blue balls?” He laughs at his own joke. If fucking only.
“Where’s Beau?” Nix growls when he walks into the room, taking his seat at the head of the table.
“Careful, Nix. You’re beginning to sound like Sy,” Beau snickers, coming in behind him.
“We’re all here. Let’s get this shit sorted,” he says, ignoring Beau’s dig. “First up, we have fucking issues with Liquid.” We don’t normally run church like this, but the club is under pressure with shit going down around us. I don’t blame Nix for his anger.
“What issues?” Jesse calls out, the name of his baby grabbing his attention. The man lives and breathes the place, while it only gives Nix a headache.
“I swear to fuckin’ Christ, Jesse, the place is more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Nah, come on, boss man. You don’t mean that.”
“I fuckin’ do. Especially when you’re sleepin’ your way through the fuckin’ waitresses. Keep your dick in your pants from now on,” he warns, and I can’t help but smirk. Jesse keeping his dick in his pants? Yeah, right.
“Who’s bitching now?” He shakes his head, not looking at all surprised.
“Fuckin’ Tammy. You need to sort that shit out, brother. She has a daughter who needs feeding. Don’t be a cockhead. She needs this job,” he warns. Jesse might be a player, but he knows when he needs to step up.
“Right,” Jesse agrees, ending it there and moving on.
“We still have no word on Gunner. T and his boys are keeping an eye out, but I don’t doubt this shit with Kadence was a play, one he will pull again. Until we sort shit out, I want all hands on deck until the fucker is found. Any problems?” Nix asks.
“So, we’re still on babysitting duty?” Beau grumbles, saying what I’m thinking. I don’t have a problem with Kadence, but I need to stay away from Holly. The woman is too dangerous for me.
“You have a problem with it?” Nix asks.
“No problem. Just want to know where we stand here? We’ve worked so hard to keep out of T’s shit. Now some pussy comes along and we’re on meet-ups, taking phone calls with the Warriors. Don’t have to remind you what you’ve lost to get the club to where it is,” he states, and he’s right; we have worked hard to get the club to where it is today, but Nix has claimed Kadence as his, therefore, he will do anything to protect her. Beau knows this.
“You got your feelings hurt ‘cause your boyfriend went and found a woman, Beau?” Jesse calls out.
“Fuck you, Jesse.”
“What is wrong with everyone today?” Jesse asks, looking around the table, but everyone ignores him.
“You call Kadence pussy again, we’re gonna have problems, brother.” Nix slams his fist down on the table.
“I’m just telling it how it is,” Beau says, not ready to step down.
“I don’t give a fuck how it is to you. It is what it is. End of story,” Nix warns and Beau nods, leaving it be, but I know the asshole won’t be easily swayed. He keeps his cards close to his chest and doesn’t trust easily.
“Where are you with the shop?” he asks me, moving on from Beau.
“First day back was busy; closing for a week has put us behind, but we’ve had a few inquiries for the job ad we put out.”
“Any good ones?”
“Yeah, couple came in with some good portfolios. Gonna have them come work a day next week.” The truth is with the success of the shop so far, we could put on two more artists and still be holding our own.
“Let me know how you go.” I nod, knowing whoever I choose, the boys will trust my decision. “Anyone have anything else?” Nix moves on, asking the table.
“Received a call from Tiny yesterday.” Beau taps the table as he speaks. Last month, the club owed a marker to an old friend of Red’s. We transported a mother and child to a safe house, kept her guarded until they could arrange her documents, and then escorted her on to the next point. Seeing her so severely beaten and her kid so fucking scared messed with most of us. Fucker got away with it, but at least we were able to get the woman and her son out.
“What’s he want?” Nix asks, his attention grabbed.
“Wants us on board to help out with this underground gig.”
“You know we’re juggling a full plate right now?” Brooks asks, always the voice of reason.
“I know what we have on our plate right now, but when shit calms down, I want in,” Beau says, his voice absolute.
“What we looking at?” I ask, wondering how we could work it.
“We start off small; pickups, drop offs, and if there are any recoveries. Tiny wants to hang his hat up so if we vote on it, I want to do it with the intention of taking over.”
“Jesus, Beau. You go from not wanting to do this shit, to wanting to run it?” Jesse asks, shaking his head.
“I want it if I can have the control, run it the way I see it. We help these women where we can. We got Jackson helping us where he can, and then we have a smooth run.” Jackson is Jesse’s brother who works for the county sheriff’s department in the next town over. In the past, he’s helped us out on a few things; walking the fine line of the law by turning the other way, but I didn’t know he was in on this shit.
“Okay, you can have it, but only after this shit with Gunner is sorted,” Nix agrees.
“We’re voting on this then?” Beau replies, shocked at his answer.
“You all want in?” Nix asks the table, making it legit. I know this is something Beau wants, and coming from a family whose father beat his mother, I’d vote anyway. The table echoes with “yeahs” as Nix calls it as agreed.
“This is on you, Beau. We’ll help where we can, but we go in clean and come out clean, got it?” Nix warns.
“Only way to do it,” Beau replies, a small smile on his face.
“Right, well that’s about it. Anyone else?” Nix asks one last time, but just like me, everyone seems ready to call it and be done. “Remember, keep our eyes open and any news of fuckin’ Gunner or Edwards, we move.” We all nod, agreeing with what needs to be done. Standing, I follow my brothers back out to the main room of the clubhouse.
“Sy, I’m heading to the gym, ten minutes. You in?” Jesse asks, walking past me to his room.
“Not today,” I say, not in the mood for his fucking chirpy mood.
“Your loss,” he shrugs, turning and leaving.
“You all right, Sy?’ Nix asks, coming up once everyone has cleared out.
“Perfect,” I tell him and regret the choice of word. He smirks, shaking his head.
“Brace, brother, it’s only gonna get worse,” he says, slapping on my back and chuckling to himself.
I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, and I don’t want to know how he knows about the shit I’m dealing with. All I need to do is get this fucking woman out of my head and all will be back to normal. Right?
I fucking hope so.
CHAPTER SIX
Holly
“Who is that man?” Sarah asks from behind me as I turn to lock up for the day.
“What man?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.
“That one.” She points over the parking lot to a man waiting on his bike. Shit, Sy. His head comes up at our voices, but his eyes are hidden behind his glasses so I can’t see his reaction. I scan his body and zone in on his tattooed arms. They’re crossed at his chest. Anyone walking past would double take at the dark, and broody man sitting there, but not me. No, I’m forcing myself to not look back.
“Not sure,” I reply, checking the lock one last time before turning away. I don’t need to see him tonight—not after working all day.
“Damn, he is fine,” she continues, checking him out. “I wonder what he looks like under all that leather.” She runs her eyes down his covered body. Yeah, if only I knew. I’ve had the man inside of me and I have no idea what’s under that. How depressing. Especially when the man is on my shit list. I don’t even know what he is doing here. Last time I saw him was when I was threatening him with bodily harm and stormed out of his shop.
“He’s all right, if you like the biker type.” I push our hot sex out of my head and brush off his hotness. “I have to run. See you tomorrow.” I wave and start the short walk home.
“You want a lift?” she asks, but I decline; the fresh air is great after working long hours.
“No, I’m good,” I smile, and wave her off. I don’t look back and don’t make eye contact with Sy as I pass him.
“You aren’t going to say hi?” he calls out, his voice sending a shiver down my spine. I can’t react. I’m still pissed about last week. Instead, I pick up my pace and hope he gives up. His bike starts up; the rumble of the pipes vibrating in the still, early evening. He roars past me and I ignore the feeling of frustration that he’s gone. I don’t know why it bothers me. He’s done nothing but be a dick since the first day I met him at the tattoo shop. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m not that bad. Turning the corner to my street, I regret the disappointment from a few moments ago when I see his bike parked out the front of my apartment building. Great.
“What do you want, Sy?” I snap when I get to my drive and see him resting against my car. There’s no point ignoring him when he’s gone to all this effort.
“I’m clean,” he assures me, putting his hands in his pockets and looking slightly guilty.
“Yeah, like I’m gonna trust you,” I tell him, not the slightest bit interested in his bullshit. I made an appointment to get tested next month. Fucker.
“I get checked every six months.”
“Great, thanks for letting me know.” I nod and turn, leaving him standing there.
“Wait,” he calls out, but I don’t. What I should do is cut his big, fat cock off and make him eat it.
I don’t know what it is about this man. He has this pull that I can’t fight, even if he is a mess of contradictions. His attitude yesterday should have been enough to douse the fire building in me, but even after the way he acted, all I can think about are his tattooed arms holding me up against the wall. Jesus.
I make it to the elevator before he catches up. “Go away,” I groan as he steps in behind me, not giving up.
“No. We’re going to talk,” he calmly replies. His tone surprises me.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“We’ll talk when we get inside.”
“Umm, no, we’ll talk now,” I protest. No way is he getting back into my apartment.
“No,” he merely states.
“Yes,” I reply, not giving in. The doors open, and in one fast motion, Sy has my hand and is dragging me to my door.
“Let me go, Sy.” I try to pull away, but his hold is too strong.
“Open the door,” he demands in his powerful voice.
“Fine,” I huff, opening the door and turning to stop his advance.
“You are not welcome, Sy. Say what you have to say and leave.”
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out.
Once again his response surprises me. “No problem,” I say, accepting his apology, hoping he’ll take that as leave to go. I need to be away from him.
“Don’t do that,” he growls.
“Do what?”
“Brush me off.”
“Sorry, I don’t want to chat, Sy. You’re kind of an asshole. Excuse me for not playing into your bullshit.”
“I’m sorry. I am an asshole.”
“Yes, I already know this,” I agree, almost laughing at how ridiculous we might seem.
“Holly, just stop,” he growls. The sound of my name and the pleading in his voice has me retreating. “I fucked up. I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admits, and for the first time since I’ve known him, I feel his honesty.
I don’t know what he expects from me, so I don’t say anything.
“I don’t know what the fuck to do with you, Holly,” he says, taking a step toward me.
“Sy,” I warn him, watching his jaw tick and his fists flex. “You should go.” The tension between us builds again. Jesus, this is ridiculous.
“What if I don’t want to go?” Taking another step inside my home, he kicks the door shut.
“I need you to go.” I put my hand up, stepping back to stop him coming closer. The anticipation as he closes in has my heart picking up speed and my breath coming in short, shallow bursts. “Sy,” I all but whisper as his mouth descends on mine. My early declaration of never letting this man near me is over with just one touch of our lips. But it’s not just a simple kiss that has me coming undone. The hungry kiss is rough and raw. Nothing like the other day as our teeth smash, our tongues duel, my lips bruise, and my stomach drops—all from the touch of our mouths.
Every thought I had of the man in front of me has gone out the window with just one kiss. Breaking the connection, he brings my dress up over my head exposing my naked breasts to him in the middle of the living room. My hands find his pants, eager to feel him under my fingers, but he stops me again, holding my wrist in his large grip.
“Fuck you, Sy,” I growl. Once again, he won’t let me touch him.
“Don’t,” he warns, before taking my mouth hard, silencing me with his tongue. I want to stop this, tell him it’s bullshit that I can’t touch him, but his hands find my breasts and all thoughts of putting him in his place disappear as his hands work their magic.
“Turn around and get down on your hands and knees,” he commands. I don’t even hesitate for one second. Sliding my panties down my legs, I turn and do as he says. What is it with this man that has me disregarding all my rules?
“Condom?” I ask when I hear him drop his pants behind me, without looking back.
“Fuck that, I want you bare again,” he states, running his shaft between my ass cheeks.
“No, Sy.” My words leave me on a heavy breath when he finds my slick entrance. My brain is screaming at me to stop this, to not let it go on, but my body has taken over. Even though I know how ridiculously stupid this is, I can't stop it.
“Yes,” he growls, leaning against my back. “I haven’t been with anyone since you,” he admits before leaning forward and biting down on my shoulder.
“Jesus, you’re a biter,” I accuse as he licks at the spot he just chomped on.
“Mmmhhm,” he slowly enters in soft, gentle strokes.
“This is wrong,” I say breathlessly, but not putting up much of a fight anymore because feeling him inside me, skin to skin, feels way better than it should.
What is wrong with me?
“So wrong.” He repeats my sentiments, and then bites down on the opposite shoulder as he picks up speed.
“Stop biting me,” I complain half-heartedly, too lost in the feeling, too lost in the moment.
“No,” he grunts, pulling my hair back and biting down on the side of my neck, hard. The pain and the sting send me over the edge as he pumps into me harder. The thrill of how he causes me to react this way vibrates through me. My body moves in time with each hard thrust, building with the frantic need to feel more.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, his hands coming to my waist, his fingers digging into my soft flesh. A mixture of pleasure and pain that only Sy can give me erupts inside of me as his release takes over, pushing me into the bliss I crave.
“Don’t move,” he warns as he comes down off his high. Still planted inside of me, his movements slowly start back up. The sensation of gentle strokes while his fingers dig painfully into my skin have me building back up again.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks, kissing my shoulder.
“No,” I answer, shaking my head.
“Good,” he says, pulling out of me slowly. He then presses his body weight on top of me. Oh, my God, what is wrong with us?
“What was that?” I can’t look at him, too pissed off with myself to make eye contact.
“That’s what seems to happen when we’re alone,” he answers, rolling off me to the side. “Didn’t come back here to do that. Wasn’t expecting that, but fuck, every time I’m around you and you open your mouth, I can’t help but want to rip your clothes off,” he admits, both of us still lying on the floor.
“Well, what are we going to do about it?” I ask, reaching over to the coffee table for a tissue.
“Nothing to do about it. It is what it is, Holly. A fuck.” He sits up, scowling at me.
“Jeez, Sy. Calm down. I’m not some fucking crazy bitch who wants to have your babies now that you’ve given me a couple of orgasms,” I say, reaching for my dress, feeling exposed while he’s fully clothed. “I’m asking because you can’t just walk into my house, strip me naked and fuck me when you decide you have a taste for it.” I stand, stepping into my panties, ready to lay down the law.
“Well, it’s not like I forced myself on you,” he replies, standing to do his pants back up.
“No, but you didn’t make it easy for me, just taking me how you want me.”
“Well, when you throw your fucking anger at me, I can’t help it,” he says, taking a step toward me.
“Is this what you like, Sy? Do you have an appetite for an angry fuck?” I ask, not trying to figure him out; that shit would take a lot more than one question, but I want to know what makes this man think he has any right over me.
“Lived with it for such a long time, I don’t know if the anger is doing anything for me anymore, but you, you’re a different kind of anger.” His voice is low and filled with the same honesty from earlier. He’s also now completely in my space.
“And what type would that be?” I force myself to stand strong, not wavering under his dark stare.
“A type I’ve never known before: dangerous. A type I need to stay away from,” he admits, his stare now softening somewhat.
“Well then, by all means, stay away.” I cross my arms, ready for the brush off. At least this time, he has the balls to say how it is.
“See, right there with your anger again. You’re making it hard for me to stay away,” he whispers.
"You're the one who needs to walk away, Sy.” I hold his stare.
“I’m leaving now.”
“Great,” I reply, giving him my fake smile.
“This can’t happen again,” he reminds me, like I’m going to find it hard to keep my clothes on around him.
“Really?” I ask on an eye roll. “I was thinking about calling my parents, letting them know I was in a committed relationship.”
“Holly...”
“Sy,” I reply, enjoying this more than I should.
“Fuck me,” he curses under his breath.
“Would it be simpler for you if I stripped naked again? That seemed to work for you last time you had to leave,” I remind him, trying to keep the sting out of my voice.
“I think I can manage,” he retorts.
“Great.”
“Great,” he repeats. The air of electricity we seem to create stirs again, building momentum as we stand staring at each other. It’s like a force dragging me in. With no control over my own reflexes, I step forward as he leans into my space, and just as our lips touch, his phone rings from his pocket, the intrusion breaking our connection.
“Yeah?” he asks into his phone after the third ring. I take a moment to move away from the vortex he sucked me into.
“Okay, give me five minutes.”
Turning my back, I walk to the kitchen, wondering if he will follow me. After a moment of silence, I hear the door open. The slow creak of the hinge sounds so harsh in the quietness of the apartment. I don’t call out, or turn from where I stand. The heaviness of rejection hits me strangely, and with the release of the door handle, and the click of the lock, I get my answer. Sy doesn’t follow anyone.
You can’t get shitty, Holly. You knew this going in, I remind myself as I walk to my room and clean myself up.
So why does it hurt a little?
