Текст книги "Let Me Love"
Автор книги: Michelle Lynn
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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
Chapter 3
Kailey and I have hung out together every night since we arrived in Breckenridge. After I finish dinner with my friends, I usually spend my time with Kailey until the sun is about to rise, and then I make the dark drive back over to Jessa’s parents’ house. I’m pretty sure they all know what’s going on, but I’ve kept my mouth shut. I don’t want Kailey viewed as some booty call. I’m not ignorant to my reputation within this group.
To be truthful, Kailey and I haven’t even kissed, not that it’s my friends’ business. What we have been doing is something I haven’t done—ever. I’ve been finding out her little quirks and likes or dislikes. I’ve surprised myself that I’ve remained as interested as I have. I haven’t turned into a monk. I notice her fine ass and bouncy tits, but I’m enjoying this sense of intimacy we’re experiencing with each other in a way I never have before.
Tonight, I’m picking her up, then we’re meeting everyone at the restaurant for dinner. Other than the drive from the airport, she hasn’t been around the group yet. This secret friendship we’ve been having these past few nights has been nice! My friends’ are important to me, and I hope they all get along. She still appears standoffish at times, but she’s allowed me to hold her hand or wrap my arm around her shoulders when we watch movies a few times. The junior high affection we exhibit with one another is enjoyable, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a little Seven Minutes in Heaven either.
Aunt Holly and Uncle Clyde are usually sleeping nice and sound before I make my way over, but Kailey told me they know I’m there. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Uncle Clyde Bunyan scares the crap out of me, and if he thought I was using his niece for her body, I can’t imagine what he could do to me. I’m pretty certain about one thing; I’d finally find out that he does indeed own an axe.
Since I arrive earlier than usual tonight, it’s not only the porch light that leads my way, but the house is lit up like a model home. Happy to trade that horrible family mobile for a fun sleek Mercedes, I carefully park Mr. Harrison’s car. Due to the feeling this is more like a date my palms are slick with moisture as if I’m getting ready for the biggest test of my life. Jesus, when was the last time I was on a date? I have no fucking clue.
I exchanged my usual casual t-shirt for a long sleeve Henley. Well, at least it’s dressier for me, since I don’t even own a button down shirt. I’m a college kid for Christ’s sake, what the hell do I need business clothes for? Unfortunately, I’m going to have to change that, since I’m graduating and it’s time to grow the fuck up.
Just thinking about my carefree time ending depresses me. I’m not naïve that I have it better than most. My parents pay my tuition, my bills, and give me spending money. I’ve never had to work for anything, unlike Grant, who has put blood, sweat, and tears into everything he’s achieved. I’m truly envious of him, though. He found something I didn’t think I wanted...until now.
The snow crunches under my Chuck Taylors as I make my way up the path to Holly and Clyde’s front door. I shrug my shoulders up and down vigorously, waiting for someone to answer the door and let me into the warmth. It’s so fucking cold once the sun goes down around here.
When Kailey opens the door, my heart stops. It literally fucking skids to a stop before it changes pace and speeds up so fast I think I might drop dead from a heart attack. She’s gorgeous in a purple sweater covering way too much skin with a pair of black leggings and completing the look with a black pair of combat boots. Her hair is styled so it swings to the side, with every strand curled exactly the same. All the nights I’ve come over, she’s never worn this much make-up, and although she appears older and more glamorous, it does nothing to make her more beautiful. She’s just as breathtaking with her skin bare.
“Hi,” she says, smirking at my obvious approval of her appearance.
“Hmmm,” I respond unable to have any further coherent thoughts.
She giggles quietly. “You look good too,” she says, wearing a wide smile.
Finally my voice begins coming back, my eyes take her in one last time before I manage to get out, “Oh, you don’t look good, Kailey, you look fucking edible.” My vision falls to her legs covered by fabric clinging to her like a second skin. All my brain can process is, I want those wrapped around my waist, right fucking now.
“Well, thank you—I guess,” she giggles again, and my cock starts throbbing at the sound. “That could be dangerous out here,” she jokes. “You know, mountain goats, rams—”
“And Trey, oh my,” I finish her sentence, and she shakes her head and rolls her eyes in clear amusement of my Wizard of Oz change-up.
“You might be the biggest danger of all,” she says, turning around to get her coat. God, her ass, no doubt I just became fully erect. There’s no way I’m leaving her tonight without at least a taste of her lips.
I step out of the foyer, not about to leave without saying hello to Holly and Clyde. “Hi, Holly, Clyde.” I make myself visible from behind the wall, waving my hand at them.
“Hi, Trey,” they both respond in unison. Clyde is relaxing in his recliner with his leg sprawled out in front of him and remote in hand. Holly sits much like Kailey always does with her legs tucked under herself, thumbing through a magazine.
“Where are you guys off to tonight?” Holly puts the magazine down and stands up to give me a quick hug.
“We’re going to Hot Tapas.” I shrug my shoulders. “It was my buddy Brady’s choice, he loves Spanish food,” I inform her.
“You’ll have to tell me how it is. I’ve wanted to go there since they opened, but this one,” she tosses her thumb in the air, pointing at Clyde, “won’t go. Not enough food, he claims.” Her joking annoyance to Clyde’s defiance on going has an underlying truth.
“You know how much they want for those small dishes with five pieces on a plate. I might as well go down to Hinkle’s for a great big rib eye with all the sides,” Clyde tosses back, never looking our way.
“Uncle Clyde, it would be a nice thing for a birthday or anniversary,” Kailey chimes in, bending over to give him a kiss on the cheek. He gives her a wink, and she giggles again, knowing full well Clyde will go there at some point. He strikes me as someone who does anything for the woman he loves.
“Relax, dear, we’ll go there—eventually,” he teases.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you always say,” Holly’s voice emanating with humor. “Now, you two go. I miss those swooning days,” she adds, and my palms go sweaty again with the expectation this is indeed a date.
“Come on to bed, Hol, I’ll swoon you,” Clyde remarks from across the room, and Kailey and I laugh.
“That’s not swooning, baby, that’s speed dating,” she joked, but Clyde narrows his eyes at her all the while smirking.
“You two,” he points to Kailey and me, “out. I have some proving to accomplish with my beautiful wife.” He pushes the handle, letting the leg rest fold back up into the chair and stands up. He makes a shooing motion with his hand. “Go,” he demands to us again, and we start walking out of the door.
“Clyde!” Holly yelps when he picks her up and tosses her over his shoulder.
“You asked for swooning, baby. As always, you get what you ask for.” He smacks her ass.
Shit, I’m fucking jealous of Clyde. I turn to Kailey and her face is beet red with embarrassment.
“Sorry,” she mumbles.
“Hey, it’s nice to know they haven’t let the romance die,” I say, and she smiles up at me.
“Believe me, those walls rock way too often for a niece’s ears.” She grabs my hand and a rush of excitement flows through me that she initiated the touching. “Now, let’s go get those expensive small dishes.”
We leave the house and it’s second nature to be the gentleman my dad taught me to be; I open the door for her, watching her body slide into the black leather seats and cross her legs. Slowly shutting the door, I know she’s going to be the death of me tonight. After I climb into the way-too-expensive-for-me car, I carefully back out of the driving, relishing the smell of apples filling the small space.
Once we’re on our way, I notice she’s fidgeting, so I attempt to ease her anxiety. “So, you met everyone at the airport, but I’ll give you the low down on everyone. Okay?”
“That would be great. I think I remember everyone’s names, but after hearing you talk about them all the time, I’m eager to put the faces to the stories.” I love the fact that she’s interested in my friends. They’re my lifelines. Having a relationship with some girl who doesn’t like your friends, would never work for me. Definitely, a deal breaker for me, as Sadie would say.
“So, I’ll start with Brady. He’s the guy with the brown hair faux hawk. His girlfriend, Sadie, has the long blonde hair. Usually, they’re all over each other, hands never to themselves,” I tell her, and she laughs.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” she asks.
“If you’re them, I guess,” I sarcastically answer.
“I guess that’s true. Jessa is the short blonde, right?” It thrills me she remembers my best friend.
“Yeah, we’re pretty tight, and her boyfriend is Grant. Short blond haired preppy dude,” I give her more information.
“She’s the one you are always talking about?” The clear question evades her voice, and I realize I need to squash any jealousy before her mind veers somewhere it shouldn’t.
“Well, we all live together.” She looks quizzically at me. Shit, I need to fix that. “Our relationship is like a brother and sister. I’m pretty sure she and Grant will be married happily ever after soon enough. Those two are inseparable.” I pray my attempt to soothe any insecurities about Jessa and me did the job.
“Then Dex,” she names the last one for me. A ping of jealously hits my veins with the fact she remembers his name. Then her hand reaches over the center console and takes mine, as though she senses my uneasiness. When I look at her hand and then at her, she gives me a small smile.
“Yeah, Dex. We call him Hulk, too, just in case someone starts referring to him as that you know who we’re talking about.”
“Okay, thanks, it relaxes me a little bit. It’s always hard meeting the friends, ya know?” Her voice is so casual, I wonder exactly what she’s referring to. Does she mean friends of friends or friends of someone you’re dating? Crap, see this is why I don’t date. All these damn doubts and questions that fill your head throughout the whole night.
When we pull up to the downtown strip of Breckenridge, I attempt to parallel park Jessa’s dad’s car with the confident skills I clearly don’t possess at the moment. Not that I’ll let my insecurity show in front of Kailey, though. Luck must be on in my favor tonight because I squeeze into the space with ease on my first attempt. Pretty good for a kid who failed that part of his driver’s test—twice.
“Better you than me,” Kailey smiles over at me. I can’t help but fear she saw me rub my nervous sweaty hands on my pants before backing up the most expensive car I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving between two just as pricey vehicles.
“I’ve always been good at squeezing into tight places,” I joke, and she playfully rolls her eyes, and stifles a giggle. A signature reaction of hers.
“Good to know,” she remarks, the grin getting wider the more she absorbs my words.
Our eyes remain on one another’s while an energy pulls for a brief moment, until she snaps her head forward. I exit the car, rushing around the front to open her door before she has a chance to grab the door handle herself. After she steps out, my hand reaches for hers, and I weave our fingers together. “Is this okay?” I ask her, staring down at our hands. The last thing I want is for her to be pressured when my friends see us walking in the restaurant with fingers clasped.
She glances down at our hands and back up to my face, “Yeah,” squeezing my hand.
I open the door to the restaurant, dropping her hand, and placing mine on the small of her back to escort her through the restaurant entrance. Once we’re through the doorway, I take her hand back in mine, unwilling to not be without her touch for too long. The exhilaration I feel having her next to me, almost like she’s my girlfriend, is surprising.
My friend’s boisterous laughs and carrying on can be heard all the way across the restaurant at the hostess stand. It’s ironic, since I’ve always thought I was the loud mouth out of all of us, guess I was wrong. Giving Kailey’s hand a squeeze while looking at her with confident eyes, I try to reassure her it will be great. Her lips turn up in response, and she allows me to lead her toward my crazy ass friends. All the while, I’m praying like hell they don’t embarrass me.
“Kailey,” Jessa exclaims, standing up and walking over to us. She gives Kailey her usual big, tight hug, welcoming her to the group. After she releases Kailey, Jessa winks my way and takes her seat back next to Grant.
Everyone else greets Kailey, completely ignoring my existence. But that’s fine by me, let the spotlight be on her tonight. I hold out a chair for her before taking my own next to her. For some reason, it all fits, me being here with her and all my friends.
After small chitchat back and forth among the group, we all agree to let Brady order for the table, with a little help from Sadie, so we don’t end up with only plates of artery blocking meat. The conversation between everyone flows easily. Kailey surprises me with her additions. Although, she keeps her conversations mostly to Jessa and Sadie, she’s quietly chatted with Dex a few times while I was pulled into talking with others. Let’s just say, it’s not possible to listen to two different conversations, so I wisely choose Dex and Kailey’s. Lucky for me, I don’t have to kick Dex’s ass later, not like it’s possible, but I could have gotten a few punches in. It was a relief when I heard him talking about Sam to her. Kailey was encouraging him to pursue Sam, making the smile on my face that much wider. I’m figuring there are no feelings for Kailey on Dex’s side, making everything A-Okay in Trey’s world.
“So, Kailey, how come you decided to come out to Colorado for spring break, instead of going somewhere with your friends?” Brady asks her, and the rest of the gang leans in as though she’s about to divulge some piece of juicy gossip. Of course, I can’t say I haven’t wondered the same thing.
“Um...” her fingers knead the napkin in her lap, so I reach over and grab her hand under the table. She looks up at me and then back to them. “My aunt and uncle asked, and I agreed. I just needed to get away,” her voice slightly shaking.
“Isn’t that the truth? Finals are coming soon, and then graduation.” Brady chimes in. But, for some reason, my gut tells me it isn’t schoolwork that Kailey has to get away from.
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Well, classes and stuff. I don’t graduate until next year. I’m only a junior,” she adds, and my stomach drops thinking if anything does happen between us, she would stay in Western after I graduate. I haven’t decided if I’ll stay or mover closer to my family. “Are you guys all seniors?” she asks, and all of us nod.
“We’re all graduating in May, except for Dex,” I inform her.
“I added a second major, so it tacked on another year,” Dex explains, and she nods in understanding, otherwise remaining quiet.
Grant and Jessa sneak back to the table in time for dessert, laughing with each other, as though no one knows they just screwed somewhere. If their messed up hair and swollen lips aren’t a red flag, Grant’s open fly is. I cock my eyebrow, and Jessa giggles some more, pretending nothing just happened.
Kailey releases my hand and straightens her body, which has me scrunching my eyes in confusion. She leans forward, toward Dex again, continuing their conversation, but in a more intimate nature. All throughout dessert, I talk with everyone and Kailey continues to focus her attention on Dex. They appear to be in their own bubble, not including anyone else.
I’m stuck in some limbo, feeling angry and sad. The emotions start getting the better of me. Rather suddenly, I scoot my chair out, everyone’s face rises up to me, alarmed by action. Kailey finally turns her attention back to me, but I stomp out of the restaurant in the most embarrassing imitation of a toddler fit.
I bum a cigarette from the guy outside and light it, taking a long drag. Just as I’m handing him back his lighter, Jessa appears outside. I love the girl, but she’s isn’t the one I was hoping would come after me.
She gives the nice guy a smile and then turns my way. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“Nothing, just go inside,” I instruct her, shooing her away with my hand.
“Trey?” she questions, but my eyes find Kailey, peering out the window of the door. I’m an ass because I’m about to fuck up this whole situation. Jessa follows my vision, rubs my arm, and then heads back inside without saying another word. Watching through the door, as she and Kailey talk, my heart starts to race with anxiety, but before I can make out what’s being said, Kailey emerges with her coat on.
“So, I’m going to call my uncle to pick me up,” her voice low and unsure from the uncomfortable situation I’ve caused.
“No,” I yell and the lighter guy looks my way. “I mean, why?” Like I don’t fucking know why. I just acted like a jealous boyfriend, who can’t keep his emotions in check, but in my defense, I’m not used to this overwhelming possessiveness that’s taken over residency in my body.
“Trey...there’s a lot going on in my life. I don’t think I can bear a guy who’s clearly in love with someone he can’t have.” She entangles her arms across her chest, to shield herself from the wind.
“What are you talking about?” I ask her, confused about this baffling conclusion she’s come to. If she doesn’t want me, why doesn’t she just say it rather than give me some lame ass excuse about me being in love with someone?
“You and—Jessa. It’s evident you have some sort of feelings for her.” I’ll give her one thing, she stares me directly in the eye, so she doesn’t miss my reaction to her accusations.
I laugh, and she turns around walking down the sidewalk. I throw the cigarette to the ground and jog after her. “Hold up.” Grasping her arm with my hand. She spins around at my contact.
“Please, Trey, let’s just leave whatever this is here. It’s been fun the last few days, but I can’t give you what you want, anyway.”
“Listen, let me get my coat, and then we’ll talk.” I patiently wait for her response with my hand still on her arm. She looks down at my hand, then up to me, and I release my grip. I give my best puppy eyes to plead my case, and she reluctantly agrees.
“Fine, you can drive me back to my aunt and uncle’s. We’ll talk on the ride, but Trey, nothing will change my mind,” she tells me. Ignoring her words, I quickly go inside, grabbing money out of my wallet on the way to the table. Tossing the bills down, I grab my coat and leave without a word to any of them. I’m pretty sure it’s a given why I’m leaving and where I’m going.
A sigh of relief escapes from my lips when I spot Kailey sitting on a bench outside the restaurant. The snow whips around her, sticking to her silky brown hair. With her phone out, her thumbs speed around the screen, while she types a text.
By the time I reach her, she’s turning the screen off and tucking it in her pocket. “Ready?” I ask, holding out my hand for her.
“Yeah.” She stands up, ignores my hand and brushes past me.
Feeling deflated, I tuck my hand back in my jacket before fishing for the keys with my other hand. My gentlemanly behavior continues as I open the door for her and gently shut it behind her. As I make my way to the driver’s side, thoughts rush through my head on how to make this right.
The engine starts with a purr only this high-end kind of a car can in this cold as fuck weather. Easing out of the parking spot, I make my way back towards her aunt and uncle’s. She finally allows me to take her hand in mine, our warmth spreads together between our cold hands immediately.
“Can we talk?” I ask her, peering at her from the corner of my eye, hoping she’ll look at me. No go.
Her body language screams she wants to bolt out of this car, but I’m not about to let her go. I can’t, not until I figure this out. “Trey, forget what I said back there. It’s me....there’s a lot going on with me that I really don’t want to explain.” Her vision remains focused on the snow-covered road in front of us.
“I’m not asking you to marry me, Kailey,” I assure her, although a part me thinks it wouldn’t be the worst idea I’ve ever had. I’ve definitely had worse.
“Can you pull over up ahead? At the scenic overlook?” I follow her directions and put the car in park, praying she doesn’t know some secret way back to leave me. “Come on,” she instructs me and climbs out of the car.
Shutting the door, I bundle myself against the fierce wind and snow swirling around when we leave the safety of the heated seats. “Kailey?” I question.
“Come over here,” she instructs me to join her right at the edge of the mountain.
Words can’t express how amazing the view is tonight. The clear sky with the moon casting a shadow onto a lake a hundred feet below us is one straight out of a romantic movie.
“It’s beautiful, huh?” she asks, and I glance at her and have to catch a breath before absorbing the whole picture. The moonlight shines down across her face, highlighting her soft features and silky hair. Her skin glows under the brightness of the night sky.
“Yeah,” I agree, but referring to a completely different view.
“I have a confession,” she admits. Damn it, I knew a girl like her must have a boyfriend. She’s not only gorgeous, but she’s cool as shit with her smartass mouth.
“Boyfriend?” I give her an out. If I say it first, maybe it will hurt less.
“I already—wait, what?” She stops talking when she hears my question. “No, do you think... Trey, I wouldn’t do that,” she divulges. So, no boyfriend, and she’s not a cheater from the shocked expression on her face that I would conclude such a thing.
“So, what is it?” I ask her again, growing more impatient.
She bites her lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. God, I want that mouth. Her green gems look up at me through her eyelashes, and I’m thrown on what she’s about to tell me. “I knew who you were. I knew who all of you were,” she admits, and I cock my head to the side, confused.
This is one of the few times in my life, I’m speechless. She stands inches away from me, biting that lower lip that I’ve been dying to suck into my mouth for the past few days. “Why did you act like you didn’t know us?” My initial reaction is to step back from her.
“I don’t know.” From her steady voice and calm body it appears she’s answering honestly. “I’ve caught your show a few times, and when I saw you guys walk into the terminal at the airport... I wasn’t going to say anything. But, then Dex approached me, and the whole coincidence of sitting between the two of you on the plane.”
“Why didn’t you say something? That’s great you know we’re in a band, but Kailey, you don’t really know us, you just know our stage presence.” I step closer and I’m about to take her hands in mine when I notice her eyes filled with regret, revealing there’s more than not admitting she knew we were The Invisibles.
“Trey—I’ve seen you at a lot of bars,” she admits, and I sigh in complete exhaustion of knowing exactly what she saw. “Always with a different girl. Always in a compromising position.”
“Shit, Kailey, I’m sorry,” I apologize, but nothing can make up for the ass I feel like right now.
“So, I knew what I was getting when I flirted with you. I wanted someone to distract me this week. Get my mind off things back home. My intentions were to sleep with you, have fun, and then go back to Western and continue my life, but...”
“You were going to use me?” I smirk at the irony of this situation. “But you never even let me kiss you,” I add.
“When you came over that first night, I wanted to, but then we started talking, and I found out more about you. That you weren’t just a dog who slept with every available drunk girl. But I still thought maybe by week’s end, my feelings would change, and I’d be able to follow through with my plan. Tonight changed that.” Her eyes find mine again, the light from the moon on the lake below reflects in her eyes. “The way I saw you with Jessa, brought a reaction out that told me I need to step away.”
“Jessa?” I ask baffled on her conclusion. “She’s my best friend, Kailey, that’s all.”
“It didn’t seem like that. Not that it’s an excuse for ignoring you and flirting with Dex. That was wrong of me. But I can’t help thinking Jessa is an unattainable prize you’ll always desire.” She backs away from me, turning to face the lake again.
“You have it all wrong. Jessa’s with Grant and, believe me, I have no interest in her, I never have,” I attempt to reassure her while slowly stepping toward her at the same time.
She faces me and a tear falls from her right eye. How the hell did we get here? “It’s not the point, really. I mean, if you want her, it’s none of my business. It’s not like we’re anything.” There she goes again, looking me dead in the eye, so I know she’s convinced herself to believe what she’s saying.
“I thought we might be on our way to somewhere,” I admit, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Trey, but we weren’t. I can’t have more complications right now. I just can’t,” she tries to put a finality to the conversation. I’m still trying to grasp that she was going to use me, but I don’t want her to end whatever this is. Regardless, I’m not about to come off like a desperate twelve-year-old boy begging a girl to be his.
“Then I’ll take you back to your aunt and uncle’s,” I say, turning around to go to the car.
“Trey—if things were different,” she attempts to plead her case, but at this point I could care less.
“It’s fine, Kailey, just get in.” I don’t wait for an answer, but instead slide into the car. She opens her door and sits quietly next to me. I’m sure my nostrils are doing that flaring thing everyone tells me they do when I’m angry. Since it’s a rare occasion for me to be so thoroughly pissed off, I don’t recognize it first-hand.
We make the ten minute drive in silence. When I pull up the driveway, the porch light is on, like every other night. I thought for sure this would be the night she granted me permission to kiss her, but it took a very different turn—a turn for the worse. I wait silently in the driver’s seat, eyes focused forward. From the corner of my eye, I can tell her hand is on the door handle while her eyes remain on me.
“Trey?” she sighs, but I sit there, ignoring her existence. “Fine, if this is the way you want it.” She opens the door and starts escaping the tense confines.
“Oh no, Kailey, you were the one that wanted it this way,” I sneer, and she slams the car door.
I watch her open the door and walk into her aunt and uncle’s house. “Fuck!” I slam my fist onto the steering wheel.
