Текст книги "Let Me Love"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

“I just thought—,” I start but he places his finger in front of my lips.

“You don’t have to say anything. I should have made this clear a long time ago.” He absolves me of my self-pity. “Since we’re out here and everyone thinks we’re fighting, how about we make the most of it?” He slyly smiles and all that anger surrounding us dissipates with it. How did I get this man? His head turns left and right, perusing the surroundings. Soon he grabs my hand and tugs me toward a dark corner. “So, I owe you one quick screw against a wall, but don’t get used to it, babe, okay?” He flirtatiously smiles my way.

“It’s really fine, Trey, let’s just go inside,” I reply.

His hands start pulling the fabric of my dress around my middle. “Nah, you started it. I’m hard and,” he inserts a finger into my panties, “you’re wet. Let’s not waste time, love,” he finishes and grabs my ass, holstering me up against the brick.

He propped me up with his one hand and leg while unsnapping and zipping his pants. Soon the heat of his bare bottom half hits mine, and there’s no way I’m saying no. “Shit!” he hollers right as the tip of his cock is at my opening. “I don’t have condoms,” he sighs.

“What?” I question in disbelief.

“I stopped carrying them around when I met you. I could go ask Dex but—,”

“Go ahead, Trey, I trust you,” I instruct him.

“Kailey,” his exasperated breath tells me between his past and the chances of another pregnancy, we’re done.

“I’m on the pill, go ahead,” I divulge. I feel bad for never telling him earlier, but I’m not about to pass up on this incredible desire right now.

He waits no time before thrusting himself into me. When his hardness busts through my folds, I clench around him, squeezing him tightly inside of me. His warm breath tickles my neck. “You always feel so fucking good, Kailey,” he tells me, and I contract harder around him. “If you want to finish, you’ll have to loosen up for me, baby,” he says softly in my ear. Even when he has me pressed against the wall, he’s sweet and loving.

I begin to loosen, and I feel my wetness smearing down my thighs when he slides in and out of me at an excruciatingly slow pace. What happened to that guy I would see at the bars? Shit, there he is; he slams into me, and my back hits the rough surface. “God, Trey, more,” I softly say. His hands are squeezing and pushing my ass into him. I wish we could strip our clothes off and feel our naked bodies against one another. I guess Trey has a point, with the slow and devour version he prefers.

“Baby, come for me, I’m not going to last much longer without anything between us,” his voice staggered and breathless.

I grip his shoulders, digging my nails into his crisp linen shirt in order to drive down on him. Holding his head in my hands, pressing it against my neck, I move my hips up and down on him. He groans and grunts. Hearing the noises erupting out of him has me wetter and becoming more aroused with every syllable. The same noises he makes in bed. I’m just on the brink of letting it all go when I take his face and bring it to me. I smile. He opens his eyes and alluring brown eyes capture mine. We focus on each other, until we both come, and his body pins me against the wall to stabilize himself while he catches his breath.

“Shit, maybe I should reconsider my earlier argument,” he jokes, breathing heavily in my ear.

“You had your eyes closed,” I remark, and he scrunches his eyes in confusion. “You usually have them open.”

“Really?” he questions, releasing me to the ground. My heels find the potholed filled drive, and my dress falls to the ground.

“Okay, you know when I told you I’d seen you with girls at Aces?” I swallow hard that I’m about to share this bit of information with him. He nods, pulling up his pants and buckling his belt. “You always had your eyes open, looking around the room as you would make out with them.” I bite my lower lip and a slow smile creeps along his lips.

“I never knew you were checking me out that much,” he teases with pure pleasure in the fact.

“You were hard to miss,” I say, smacking his shoulder.

“Oh, babe, I love that you were that into me. But—,” he corners me with his arms right before we’re about to walk back, “do you finally believe me? That you’re different.” He kisses my nose, and I glance at the small, dark corner we just christened. Well, I’m sure we weren’t the first ones.

“Yeah, I do,” I honestly answer.

“Remember, I’m yours,” he reminds me, and we open the doors.

As we make our way back over to the table, I realize Trey’s right. I don’t even feel close to completely fulfilled as I do when we take our time. Smiles in place and hands entwined, we must look like a love sick couple. Tonight I want to dance with him close and smell the scent of spring of his body wash. I want my head to rest on his chest and hear the beats of his heart as he sways me and back in forth to the music. I want to toast champagne and kiss him any time I desire. I want to forget what tomorrow will bring and relish in everything that’s us.

He pulls my chair out, and I take a seat, carefully smoothing my gown down. Everyone around the table peers over at us with conspicuous glares, coming to their own conclusions to our disappearing act. I’m sure my make-up is smeared, and Trey’s pants look a bit more wrinkled. Instantly, the warmth of his hand brushes along my satin covered thigh and a burn ignites in me again. I briefly ponder if I’ll ever have enough of him. Will we ever be that couple that gives a quick peck on the lips and rolls onto opposite sides of the bed? God, I hope not.

“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything?” he whispers in my ear, but I shake my head, happy with the glass of wine. “I’ll be right back.” He kisses my temple. I watch his backside as he walks away for a few brief seconds.

“Man, you guys have it bad,” Sam teases and moves to the empty seat on my left.

Not really knowing how to respond, I decide a smile is enough. Most likely the blush that’s currently rising up my cheeks should be a good indication of how much I love that man.

“So, tell me. Are you guys serious, like marriage, kids, and the whole caboodle? Or, are you two just having fun like Dex and me?” Not really interested in thinking about my hopes and dreams of a future with Trey recognizing I might never get that wish granted, I decide to turn the tables.

“Is that all you and Dex are?” She turns his way and then back to me. There’s no longing love gaze, but there isn’t a frown either, just indifference.

“Yeah, we live hundreds miles from each other. It’s fun while we’re together, and he can make me come through the phone, so bonus there. Oh, on those nights I come home half plastered. Instead of bringing some guy I don’t know with me, I just dial Dex, and he gets me to the point of exhaustion all through the receiver of my phone.” I’m surprised she’s so willing to share this much information about what they do with each other. Does she know she’s not his only girl he shares his ‘words’ with?

“Oh, well every couple is different.” I smile and glance over my shoulder for Trey. He’s chatting with Grant and Jessa, the happy couple. “So, when do you graduate?” I ask her, and she begins rambling about the classes she’s taking for the summer. At least this is a topic I can converse about.

Trey slides back down next to me and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. Out of the corner of my eye I see them wheeling the cake into the center of the room. Grant and Jessa get shuffled over, and the buzzing of my phone alerts me. Trey heavily sighs with assumption that more than likely our night just ended.

Excusing myself from the table, Trey’s eyes divert from mine. Not that I try to meet his either, but his blatant glare the other way tells me all I need to know. “Hey, Caden,” I answer. I hear Jen’s moans in the background. “What is it?” My voice quickly becomes frantic.

“I’m taking Jen to the hospital, she can’t stop throwing up, and her fever is rising. Mrs. Altman is watching the kids, but do you think...” He releases a long sigh. “I’m sorry, Kailey, I hate to ask. I know it’s their wedding, but if the kids wake up...” His voice filled with sadness for me when he should only be concerned for his wife at the moment.

“It’s fine, Caden. I’ll leave now. Call me when you have news.” I hang up and make the dreadful walk back to Trey. He sits alone with his shoulders slumped as he stares into his fresh drink from the bar. Sam and Dex are long gone from the table, snapping pictures of the cake cutting.

My shaking finger taps his shoulder, and his back rises and falls before he turns my way. No words are exchanged as he pulls the keys out of his pocket. I bite my lip from despair at the horrible place we’re in. I wish I could beg him to come with me, but his place is here with his friends.

Placing my hand on his forearm and asking him to hold on a second, I maneuver through the chairs to tell Grant and Jessa.

“Hi, Kailey,” Jessa says, embracing me immediately.

“Um...I have to go. I’m sorry. Caden is taking Jen to the hospital,” I reveal, pushing back the tears that are waiting to be unleashed from my eyes.

Jessa takes my hand and for the first time she gives me the sympathetic look that almost breaks the gates on my tears. “Go. If you need anything, you call us, okay?” I nod, and Grant gives me a hug. “Is Trey going with you?” she asks, and I shake my head. Her eyes dart to him, and then she smiles trying to conceal the pissed off look I witnessed.

I say my goodbyes to everyone, and Trey silently begins to walk alongside of me as I leave the restaurant. The tension filled silence surrounds us, except the clicking of our shoes on the pavement. When we get to his car, he opens the door and hands me the keys. “I’ll get a ride with Dex.” I nod and climb in. The car purrs to life, and I roll the window down, wishing I could just speed away and escape.

“I love you,” he tells me, leaning in and giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I love you too.” When I roll up the window and back-up as he rocks back on his heels with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I wonder if what we have is enough as I drive away.

I pull onto the road purposely leaving the radio off. The car contains only the sound of the engine and the tires on the road. Once I’m alone in my thoughts, the tears break through. Everything I’ve been holding in comes bursting out with sobs, screams, and palms beating the steering wheel. Why is life so fucking unfair?

Chapter 16

Trey

Seeing the taillights of my car pulling out of the parking lot fills me with dread that I’m not in it. I should of fucking driven her, but I’m pissed as hell. It was our night. One fucking night, and you couldn’t even give us that, I say looking up at the sky. I get it, Jen’s sick, and Kailey’s her sister. I wouldn’t expect her to do anything other than leave when she receives the phone call. It’s just I’m in desperate need to have her to myself if only for one damn night.

The guilt of disappointing her just like I did someone else years earlier starts to eat away at me before I even hit the doors of the restaurant. I open the door and the cool swish of air hits my face. Although everyone seems to be dancing and having a good time, there are a few currently watching my every move. The few who know why Kailey just left. The few who are now curious why the hell I’m still here. I wish I could answer them, but instead I snag the bottle of Jack from the bar and disappear through the back door.

Untwisting the bottle cap, I stare at the brick wall I just took her against less than a half hour ago. All of our times, float through my memory like a slideshow. Screw this. I stand up, leaving the bottle on the ground. My hand on the doorknob, I fling the door open to find Jessa standing there with keys dangling from her finger.

“Thanks,” I murmur before grabbing them and running out to the parking lot.

I have to check the keys twice, trying to figure out whose car they belong to, before smacking myself for not just hitting the panic button on the keyset to identify the car. Brady’s Camaro lights flash, and I jog over, hopping into the smooth leather seats. I pull out my phone and dial up Kailey, but it goes straight to her voicemail. I wish I could kick my ass for not asking her how serious it was that she left. If it is really bad, she would have said something, right? Shaking my head, I can kid myself all I want, but deep down she’d keep it from me, just to make sure I stayed. She’s so hell bent on me living the life she assumes I should. A life I don’t want any more if it doesn’t involve her.

When I see my car in the driveway, I finally release a relieved breath. Not for my car, but for her. Mrs. Altman’s climbing down the steps just as I’m walking up the drive.

“Hi, Trey. Don’t you look draper today,” her grandma voice shakes with her compliments. “Kailey too, she’s beautiful.”

“She is,” I agree, and she places her hand on my forearm, giving it a light squeeze.

“You’re a good guy, Trey.” She keeps going down the paved walkway, turning on the sidewalk. I watch for her to get into her house safely before going to the door. I’ve been here so often I have a key, but it’s on my keychain that’s currently in the house with Kailey.

Knocking softly, I spot her image walking toward the door from the window encased within the wood. She unlocks the bolt and stands in the doorway. “Hey,” I say, “can I come in?” She doesn’t answer, but steps out of the way. I walk in and grab her around the waist, pulling her to me. “I’m sorry you love a dickhead.” My lame ass attempt to end this with humor.

She doesn’t laugh. “You should have stayed. You belong there.”

“I belong here. Anywhere you are is where I’m supposed to be.”

She leans into me, and tears begin to fall. “What is it?” I ask her, pushing back and gripping her upper arms.

“Caden hasn’t called yet. They’re at the hospital again. It’s the third time in two weeks. I just know, Trey, I just know—,” her voice shakes, and sobs begin pouring out of her. “The t-t-time is c-coming,” she stutters, and I grab her as tight as I can get her against me. Holding her head against my chest, I attempt to soothe her, but it’s too late. Kailey holds everything in until she can’t hang on anymore, so I know she just needs a release.

I walk her through the living room and kitchen, positioning her on the couch in the family room. We sit in silence with only her labored breaths sounding the room. Eventually she collapses from exhaustion on my lap, and I pull a blanket down from the back of the couch and drape it over her. Loosening my tie, I slip my shoes off and turn on the television. My head falls back to the cushioned fabric with the light of the TV flickering in the darkness. All that I think about before my eyes lose the battle of sleep is, am I strong enough to get her through this?

I’m awoken by Drew’s babbling and Chloe’s voice talking to him. I slide out from under Kailey and head upstairs. Chloe is on a step stool, reaching in to grab Drew from the crib. “Whoa,” I say, rushing over to pick him up. Chloe loses her footing right before I snatch Drew from her arms.

“Trey, what are you doing here?” Chloe asks me while I make my way over to the changing table to change Drew’s diaper.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I joke, and she giggles.

“Did you sleep in Aunt Kailey’s room again?” The little imp caught me sneaking out of Kailey’s room one morning. Usually I wake up early and act like I slept on the couch. But the five year old private investigator caught me red handed in pajama pants and no shirt.

“No, I was on the couch,” I answer her, rubbing the top of her head. Her hairs spring up from the static cling. She rolls her eyes just like her aunt would do, they’re more alike than they realize.

With Drew in my arms, I instruct Chloe to go into her room. Turning on the television, I sit Drew in her lap to watch an episode of Dora. I escape into the hall and peer into Tara’s room. She’s at her closet, pulling out different shirts and pants out of the drawers and tossing them to the floor.

“Tara?” I walk into the room trying to figure out what in the hell she’s doing.

“Trying to find a dress. I want to wear a twirly dress.” She continues plucking every item out until she lands on a pink dress with green polka dots on it. I swear, who the hell designs clothes for kids? They’re always so bright and gaudy looking.

“You have to put the clothes back in the drawer,” I instruct her, but she just ignores me, changing her clothes. Deciding that will be an argument for later, I turn to make sure Chloe and Drew are okay. When I get to her room, they aren’t there. Just the blare of Dora and Boots shouting ‘No Swiper, no’ fills the room. By the time I get to the top of the stairs, Tara grabs my hand. At least her independence means, I don’t have to dig up clothes and beg her to get dressed.

I hear Kailey’s sweet voice before my feet hit the bottom of the stairs. When I reach the kitchen, she’s in her dress from last night mixing Drew’s oatmeal and pouring Chloe’s cereal. The girl amazes me. “Good morning,” I say and kiss her cheek. “I had dreams of slowly taking this dress off your body,” I whisper in her ear, and she shivers. I love it when I have that effect on her.

All the kids sit down, and I grab Tara her cereal, while Kailey prepares the coffee. We really have already mastered this routine from all the times we either let Caden and Jen sleep in or Caden had an early class and Jen was too tired or weak. The eerie part is the kids don’t ask where their father or mother is this morning. It’s like they’re so used to having Kailey and I around they don’t think anything is different.

We all go on with our routine, and I’m happy it’s Sunday, so I’m able to help Kailey. She’s been pretty quiet all day, keeping to herself. I hope it has more to do with Jen than my fuck up last night by not coming back with her.

“Have you heard anything?” I ask Kailey.

Her eyes peer to the kids and then back to me before her head gives me a small shake. My stomach drops. We all knew this day was coming, but just thought there would be more time. I hear my phone start ringing from the end table. Scooting the chair out, I stand and pick it up. When Caden’s name crosses the screen, I walk into the solitude of the garage.

“Hey, Caden,” I answer.

“Trey, are you alone?” his voice quietly asks.

“Yeah.”

“It’s bad. The doctors have suggested hospice. Jen is refusing to come home, insisting on going to a care facility. They’re transporting us by ambulance in an hour or so. I’ll be back today to pack a bag.” Caden sighs into the phone.

“Don’t worry about things here, we have it under control. Stay with Jen. One of us can pack a bag and bring it up,” I inform him, my heart aching. My empathy for Caden and Jen has tears swelling in my eyes.

“Thanks,” his relieved voice flows through the line.

“No problem.”

We hang up, and I have no idea what the hell is going to happen. Even though we all knew this time was coming, I’m not sure we’re prepared for the outcome. The thought of breaking the news to Kailey, is the most unnerving I’ve felt in forever. I have to go into that room and give the love of my life the worst possible news. Her sister is in her final stages and soon won’t share the same breathing space as her. There’s no way I’m telling her in front of the kids, so I hammer a text off, and thankfully, I not only have the best girlfriend ever, but my friends are pretty awesome as well.

A half hour later, the doorbell rings, and Kailey curiously looks at me. “Who could it be?” I stand up sporting my pink necklace, bracelet, and earring to answer the door, fully aware I’ll be getting razed for this look.

“I know you liked the piercings, but you’re taking it to a whole other level now,” Brady jokes, walking into the house. Sadie slaps Brady across the shoulders. Dex follows behind with boxes of donuts. “Sorry,” Brady says, realizing not a good time to joke.

“Thanks, guys,” I say, and they each give me their own sympathetic look.

“Always.” Dex shoots a tight smile while clasping his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a little.

Kailey stands up from the couch as soon as she hears the voices, staring at us from across the room. Her eyes shift between them to me, and her breath stops for a moment when she puts two and two together. A look of devastation occupies her beautiful face, and she whispers, “Did you call them?” With one nod, she’s sprinting past me and up the stairs.

“Go,” Dex instructs.

“Who wants DONUTS?” Brady exclaims in his most excited voice. I hear the girls screech, and their bare feet stomp across the hardwood floors.

I find Kailey in Jen’s room, with a suitcase on the bed. “She needs her stuff. How long will she be there? I don’t know what to bring her. Oh, I’ll have to bring her face cream and mascara. She’ll die if someone sees—.” She rushes into the bathroom, and I follow.

“Kailey,” I say gently, attempting to ease her into this.

She continues tossing make-up into a small colorful bag. Her eyes look to the ceiling, as though she’s thinking about what else to bring. She has an ‘aha’ moment and steadily walks to Jen’s closet. Standing in the middle of the room, watching her scramble back and forth, I gather every ounce of courage in me. When she passes me for the fifth time, I grab her and pull her into my chest. “Relax, baby.” She melts into my embrace for a few minutes, but then she’s off again, talking to herself while grabbing clothes and Jen’s belongings.

Instead of stopping her, I decide to help and get Caden’s things together for him. After we have the suitcases ready, I carry them downstairs while Kailey cleans herself up. Neither one of us has taken a shower, and I’m still wearing a wrinkled shirt and slacks.

Dex has the girls on each shoulder, pretending they’re on a roller coaster. They giggle as his body walks around the house dipping and rising. “Try not to injure them,” I say with an edge to my voice. When I turn the corner, Sadie has Drew in the highchair, giving him small amounts of a glazed donut, and Brady sits on the couch with the remote in his hand. “So, we’ll be back,” I begin to explain, but the sound of Kailey’s footsteps stops me.

We say our goodbyes, and I tell them I’ll text or call as soon as I know what’s going on. Caden texted me fifteen minutes ago that they’re on the way to the hospice facility. I drop the suitcases in the trunk and climb in next to her. After reversing out of the driveway, I grab a hold of her hand; coldness replaces the usual warmth.

“I’ll be with you every step.” My words are sincere and honest.

“Thank you.” I soothingly rub my thumb across her knuckles, and she clamps her other hand on top of our entwined fingers.

She stares out the window for the half hour drive. The silence between us saying everything. We know what the future has in store for us. The despair, depression, and sadness will become our norm for an intermittent time. But, I’ll see her through it, and we’ll get to other side together.

The small one story brick building looks nice and well-kept. I follow Kailey with the suitcases in my hands. The front desk area is adorned with plants and nice calming colors of pale pink and green. A friendly lady stares up at us with a wide smile that shows her perfectly white teeth. “How can I help you?” Her eyes glance at the luggage in my hands before focusing on Kailey again.

“We’re here to see Jennifer Campbell,” Kailey tells her, and the woman’s lips turn down, but quickly even out. The huge welcoming smile is no longer present.

“Mr. Troutdale, our facilitator would like to have a word with you.” She places her finger up in the air, while picking up the phone. After a hushed conversation she hangs up and instructs us to have a seat.

“What’s this about?” Kailey asks when we take our spot in the designated chairs with a table of magazines fanned out in front of us.

“Not sure, maybe to give us more information.” I shrug my shoulders.

Five minutes later, a tall man with greying hair and a slender build emerges out behind a locked door with two police officers on either side of him. His determined steps in our direction, tells me it’s Mr. Troutdale, and I’m completely confused as to what is going on.

“Kailey Reynolds?” he questions. She looks at me and then stands up, shaking the hand he has out.

“That’s me,” she answers, her voice beginning to shake. I stand up beside of her, and the police officers give me a double take.

“Can you come with us?” he asks, and I pick up the luggage.

“Oh, you can leave those here, Wendy will watch them.” I skeptically narrow my eyes in his direction, but he places a perfectly composed stature across his face.

This time Kailey grabs my hand, instead of the other way around. I bring our hands to my lips and kiss the back of her hand. We follow Mr. Troutdale and the two police officers through the locked doors.