Текст книги "CRAZY"

Автор книги: M. Dauphin

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

Gabby

Crazy

One week later

“Today’s the day!” Annaliese beams, opening the blinds of my room. “You can finally get out of this terrible place.”

She turns and puts her hands on her hips. I can’t take her happiness. I have nothing to be happy about. I can’t take the fact that Benton hasn’t been back in my room, but I know he’s at least safe.

I warned him. I warned him that being around me would lead to nothing good, but he wouldn’t let it happen. Then he made me go and fall in love with him, and everything was ruined in one shot.

One shot that was meant for his daughter.

A tear slips down my cheek as I silently cry for everything I’ve lost. I didn’t deserve it, and I knew it, but it still hurts to lose the two people I love the most. It hurts thinking that he’s going to move on without me. It hurts to think that Hannah will fall in love with another woman, and maybe even call her ‘mom’ one day.

It hurts to know that everything I was learning to crave: love, affection, motherhood… was all ripped away from me in one moment.

Now, I have to learn to move on again, all by myself. Without Benton, without Hannah… and without Annaliese.

“You can head out. I’ve got this,” I say, trying to stand up from the chair I’m sitting in.

Wincing, my free hand immediately goes to my abdomen.

Shit that hurts.

“Sit, bitch. You’re not pushing me away. You can’t fucking walk on your own. I’m taking you home and I’m staying with you until Benton gets there.”

“Um…” I never told her I broke up with him. I couldn’t. She’s been here every day, but we haven’t really talked about anything. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to be… I just want to be left alone and wither away. Living without Benton and Hannah is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

“What?” She stops fussing with my wheel chair long enough to look up at me.

“I’m not going back there,” I whisper. “I broke it off with him.”

Her eyes narrow, and she slowly stands. Hands on her hips, she pegs me with those beautiful eyes and I know I’m about to see the wrath of Annie that only comes out in dire circumstances.

Fuck.

“Gabrielle Adriana Rosdale. Stop being a bitch, and get in the goddamned wheelchair, so I can wheel your ass out of here and back to your fiancé who is miserable without your sorry ass.” She narrows her eyes at me, then glances at the wheelchair she finally has ready and taps her foot, waiting for me to get off the bed.

Well, shit.

“Wait, are you seriously pissed?” I ask, surprised that, after all these years, it looks like I’ve actually pissed off the Annaliese Ryder.

“Yes. If you wouldn’t have been so… blah… these last few days, you wouldn’t be miserable right now. It’s fucking stupid, Gabby,” she says, sighing and sitting in the chair she just prepared for me. I raise an eyebrow at her and grin when she narrows her eyes at me.

“You don’t get to smile right now. Just listen, bitch. Your fiancé put his life on the line for you. Everything he has could be taken away because he loves you that much. Everything,” she whispers, furrowing her eyebrows at me.

“Excuse me?” He didn’t do shit. He’s the victim here, not me. He was the one my mom was aiming for… his little girl is his world, and if she‘d been killed, it would have killed him. What could he possibly have on the line because of this? I freed him. I let him go so he could out of this shit-storm.

“Gabby…” Annaliese sits on the bed next to me and takes my hand. “Honey, you haven’t heard yet… and I know Benton was going to wait to tell you,” she says, then sighs and curses under her breath. “Gab, Benton beat up your mother the day you were shot. He was there… he and Adam found you. I can’t… I’m so happy we weren’t on our honeymoon yet,” she whispers. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you left me.” She sniffles and takes a deep breath, still holding onto my hand.

“So… Benton went straight for your mom… he beat her so good she wasn’t even recognizable when the paramedics finally got to her.”

Wow.

I always knew he had a temper, and I know he used to fight, but I guess I never knew him to be the person to be able to beat someone to the edge of his or her life.

Then it dawns on me what she’s trying to tell me.

“Ann, are you telling me he killed my mother?” I whisper, not even believing that I’m having to say the words out loud. She groans and stands up, starting to pace. A reaction like this wouldn’t be this dramatic if she’s still alive. His livelihood and family and life wouldn’t be on the line if he hadn’t killed someone. “Shit,” I whisper.

She’s gone.

The woman who made my life a living hell. The woman I have been wishing dead since I was nine years old is finally gone. I should feel sad that my mom died… any normal person would… but, with everything she put me through, she never really was a ‘mom’. She was the devil in a pretty blue dress most days. She was the woman who made sure to put on a show that her daughter was pristine, and she was the epitome of perfect house wife on the outside, just to come home and throw her daughter down the stairs if her hair wasn’t just right.

She was the devil, and I’m happy she’s gone.

Strangely enough… I’m ecstatic that it was my Benton that killed her. Does that show how crazy I am? I should be scared shitless that he has it in him to kill someone, but I know he’d never hurt me. I should be worried that one day he’s going to hurt his daughter, but I know the love he has for her. I do fear for her future boyfriends, but that’s normal for any father of little girls.

No, I’m not scared at all that he’d ever hurt me. What I am scared of is the fact that he killed someone, and he’s going to have to pay for it, right?

“Oh God, Ann,” I gasp. “If he goes to jail… Hannah… Oh my god,” I whisper, tears starting to fall.

“Don’t worry about that, Gabby. Adam has the best of the best on it. You know, more than anyone, how what he did was in defense for you… it’s all going to work out.”

I’m going to be sick. Shit.

“Ann, I need to talk to him,” I whisper. “I have to see him.”

Standing, forgetting about the stitches on my abdomen, I wince and immediately freeze.

“Fuck,” I hiss, pressing my free hand to my stomach. With one hand in a sling, and the other nursing a wound, moving is going to be pretty difficult.

“Stop, crazy. I’m here to help,” Ann says, shaking her head. “And when you get home, Benton will be there to help.

I smile gently as she helps me into my wheelchair, and we make our way down the hall. I signed all my release papers this morning, but I haven’t been in a rush to leave because I haven’t really known where I was going when I left here.

Now I do. I just hope he takes me as I am. Broken.

By the time we make it back to his place, I’m a mess. I want to cry and scream. I’m shaking from nerves, I’m sweating, in pain, and tired. Hot fucking mess.

“Come on,” Ann says as we slowly make our way into the building. I’m up and walking, but so incredibly slow I’m fairly certain a turtle would be able to pass me up no problem.

“You ready?” she asks when the elevator doors close and we start to ascend.

“As I’ll ever be,” I say, my fingers absentmindedly going to my ring finger. I only had the ring for a very short amount of time, but I had grown so used to having it on that I feel naked without it.

“You know he’s been back at the hospital every day since you kicked him out?” Ann says gently while watching the numbers of the elevator rise.

“Really?” No one told me that.

“Yea. Every evening after work, I would take Hannah back to his house and he would sit in the waiting room in case you decided you wanted to see him.”

“Huh,” I manage. He really was there. The entire time I thought he left and didn’t look back, and he was sitting just rooms away, waiting for me. Smiling, I look over at Annaliese. “I’ve missed him so bad.”

“I bet. You were a bitch to him, Gab.”

“Thanks for handling me with kid gloves, jeez,” I whine as the doors open and she helps shuffle me out into the hallway.

“Hey… look. I know you’ve been through a shit storm in your life, but you finally have something worth being happy over… someone that loves you deeply, and who will do anything for you. Someone that literally would kill for you,” she chuckles.

“It’s not really funny… but I’m so glad I have him,” I say, smiling.

“Good. Because we’re here, and I’m not staying. You two have shit to talk about. And I have a playdate with my niece,” she says. Opening the door, she walks me in, and I see Benton standing in the hallway with Hannah on his hip, a surprised look filling his face.

“Oh my god, what… how…”

“I might have lied.” Annaliese smiles slyly. “So, I’m taking this tiny one to the park, and you two are going to figure this out.”

Without any more words, Annaliese grabs Hannah’s diaper bag and stroller and has her out the door in mere minutes after arriving, leaving Benton and I starting at each other in his hallway.

“I uh… I thought you knew.”

“No. I mean…. She told me you weren’t getting out until tomorrow. I thought you were sleeping in her spare room,” he says, sounding hurt and confused.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I can go-”

“NO!” he blurts. “I want you here. So bad, Gabby… come on, can you walk?”

“No, Annaliese carried me in,” I say, grinning. He finally cracks one himself and I start laughing. “Yes, I can walk with a little help. You mind?”

“Yeah… absolutely.” He takes my arm and helps me move down the hallway to the couch. I feel so awkward with him, but I don’t want to. I want to feel normal with him, I want to be able to feel comfortable around him, but I feel so bad for pushing him away and I have to apologize. I take a breath to speak… to get out everything that I need to tell him.

To apologize.

Before I’m able to say anything, though, he starts in with a worried tone to his voice.

Something’s off with him, and I know what it is.

“Listen, Gab,” he sighs. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but just because you pushed me out of your hospital room doesn’t mean you pushed me out of your life. If that’s what you were trying to do, you’re going to have to try a whole hell of a lot harder than that… and even then I’m not certain you’ll be able to ever get rid of me. I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, but I’m here. I’m giving you your space, but I’m not gone.” He sighs and curses. “But, before you say anything,” he blurts. “I have to tell you something that might change the way you think about me. It’s nothing I planned, it’s nothing I’m proud of… but I can’t change it.” He’s going to tell me about my mom, but seeing the sadness coursing through him, I can see he’s actually having a worse time with the news than I am.

“Benton, I know what you’re going to tell me,” I say smiling. Resting my good hand on his cheek, I shake my head. “I’m not worried about it. I know you didn’t mean to… I know it was an accident… I also know that you love me and you’d never hurt me. Ever. I know this. I also know I love you more now than I ever did before, and I didn’t even know that was possible. What you did? You cleared my slate. Wiped it clean. Something in me snapped when I heard the news about her. Something in my brain clicked back on… and now all I can think is how big of an asshole I was to you.”

A smile breaks his tense features, and I’m finally starting to feel right again, but I’m not done with what I have to tell him. This is important to me. This is something that I was never given when I was younger.

“I’m sorry, Benton,” I whisper, feeling the knot in my throat grow.

“Gab, no,” he says, taking my face in his hands.

“No, I have to. I wasn’t in my right mind, and I thought that pushing you away from me would keep you safe. I’m so sorry I did that. You’re my world, and I can’t function without you.” I’m rambling but I can’t stop. I didn’t realize how badly I missed him until I was told I would be discharged… and I didn’t know where to go. I don’t care that I sound desperate or that I’m bawling my eyes out. I don’t care that I’m probably coming off as weak. I’d be all over him, begging for his forgiveness, if it wouldn’t be for the stitches in my side not letting me move without pain.

“I love you, Benton. I do… and I screwed up when I made you leave. When Annie told me you were at the hospital every day, I realized just how much I ruined,” I whisper through the tears.

“Oh god, Gabby, no… No, baby, that’s not… I’m not… Baby, you didn’t ruin anything.” Gently he takes my face in his hands and leans in to kiss me, thumbing away the tears. “Gabby, I told you I’m not going anywhere, and I meant it. I’m so in love with you it hurts physically when I have to think about a world without you.”

He stands and walks across the room. As he walks, I notice the small things about him that I fell in love with. The muscles under the t-shirt that I can tell are tense right now, the hair I love to run my fingers through, the strong jawline that currently is harboring a few days of beard growth. All of it making my libido roar back to life as if I never were shot. Unfortunately, my current condition won’t let me act on it. Damn, this is going to be a long six weeks.

“When you pushed me out of that hospital room was the day I heard about what happened to your mom. It was one of the worst days I’ve had this last year… and it’s been a rough year as you know.” He chuckles lightly. “But, Gabby, I knew you were hurting and I knew I just needed to give you space so I did. Granted, I still came up there every night just in case you decided you wanted me… but I couldn’t stay away, Gab.”

He walks back to the couch and sits back next to me, turning so he’s facing me.

“I’d love it,” he says, opening his closed fist to reveal my ring I so stupidly handed back. “If you would put this ring back on your finger, and never hand it back to me again.” He’s grinning a stupid grin and I can’t help but laugh at his way of proposing for the second time in a month.

“Well, when you put it that way, I can’t exactly turn it down, can I?” I laugh and hold out my finger so he can slip it on. It’s looser this time than it was when he first slid it on my finger.

“We need to get you some food, woman,” he grunts.

“Hey, B?” I ask as he stands up from the couch. “You know I’m not fully fixed, right? I mean… Just because I know I lost it at the hospital… I still have demons.” I know it’s dumb to have to remind him, but I don’t want him thinking that I’ve suddenly healed. She’s gone, but the memory of what happened that night will never leave me.

He grins at me.

“Babe, aren’t we all just a little bit crazy?” I get the famous Benton wink, and realize he knows exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m crazy, and he loves every bit of it.

Benton

Scared

“Goddamnit, I love you, Gabby,” I moan into her mouth, pushing my release into her. I could get used to these early mornings.

“Fuck, Benton,” she pants, biting down in my lip. Shit, that feels good. Grinding her hips up to meet me, I feel her tense and recognize the start of her orgasm start to explode around me. “Ah, fuck!”

She purrs and squeezes her eyes shut as her orgasm rips through her, trying her damndest to stay quiet, but it’s to no avail. I chuckle when she starts moaning louder as I pull out and taste myself on her while she rides out her release on my face.

Jesus, she tastes so fucking good, and I get to taste this every damn day for the rest of my life.

Crawling back up her body, she kisses me deeply, licking her taste off my tongue. Fuck, that’s hot.

“Mmm, baby,” I growl when she starts biting my neck. “Fuck, Gab. I gotta get moving.”

Her lips leave my neck and turn to a pout as I pull away from her and stand straight. Grinning down at the beautiful sight, I still can’t believe she’s all mine. I don’t know how we’ve made it through everything in one piece, but we’re stronger for it. The two of us, and Hannah, can get through anything, as long as we’re together.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower,” I say, then wink at her and hear her groan as I walk away. Chuckling to myself, I close the bathroom door and start the shower water. While I’m waiting for it to warm up, I look at myself in the mirror.

A Killer.

I know that’s not what she sees when she looks at me, but when I look at myself that’s all I can think.

I’ve killed someone. A month ago, I beat someone so badly they died from their injuries… and that person was my fiancé’s mom.

There’s so much messed up shit about that, but I can’t talk to Gabby about it without a fight and I don’t really think I should tell Dr. Travers because he’s liable to turn me in. I mean, it’s not like they don’t know who did it, but no one’s come after me yet. Maybe it’s because Adam is the most powerful man in the city of Chicago and he’s had his hands in this, orchestrating it all, but I haven’t heard a thing from the police or anything. It’s strange, really, knowing that I was the cause of someone’s death, but I’m not being penalized for it at all.

Shaking off the imminent feeling of dread that follows me around, I hop in the shower to quickly clean off before getting dressed for the day. We have a new potential client today at the agency, and Adam is putting me in charge of it.

By the time I get to the kitchen, Gabby’s already dancing with Hannah on her hip while she makes us breakfast. I take a moment to snap another picture of them before she notices that I’m here and grin when Hannah starts wiggling with Gabby to part of the song. Good God, this sight… I still can’t believe how sexy it is watching Gabby interact with Hannah. I really want her to adopt Hannah as her own, and I’m sure, once we’re married, she won’t freak out when I ask her… but I hate fucking waiting.

“Hey you,” I say, kissing the side of her head and taking Hannah from her arms to get some snuggles in before work. “So, I was thinking tonight we could take Hannah to my dad’s. Maybe bring some cards and let her play there for a bit while we visit?” I haven’t fully told my dad everything that happened, and I’m not sure if I will, but it’s time we visit him again.

“Sounds good, babe.” She sets an omelet in front of me and grins as she takes a bite for herself. I can’t even act upset because she’s so damn cute sipping her coffee like she didn’t do anything. “We’re heading out to run some errands today, you need anything?”

“Yeah actually, Can you-” I’m cut off by a knocking at the door.

Strange. It’s eight in the morning… who would be here at this time?

“I got it,” she says as she walks towards the door, shaking her ass for me as she leaves the room. I grunt and shake my head. Damn vixen is gonna keep me hard all damn day for her.

I hear the door open, and think nothing of the silence or time it’s taking her until she walks back into the room. Pale.

“What is it?” I ask, shooting up from my chair.

Then, I notice the men following her. Fuck.

“Mr. James.” The dark haired man nods at Gabby and me. “Officer Jones from the Chicago PD. We’re going to need you to come with us,” he says, calmly watching me. Probably because he knows of my anger. Probably because he’s ready to protect himself.

Or maybe because he can tell my heart is about to beat out of my motherfucking chest and land right here at the damn table.

Fuck. This is it.

“What? Why?!” Gabby demands from behind them. It’s funny, really, seeing how small and feisty she is even next to these two grown men.

“Mr. James is wanted for murder, Ms. Rosdale. We’re going to need to take him in to discuss some things.” He points his glare at her, and her eyes go wide.

“Fuck,” she mutters, picking up Hannah. I see the panic in her face and I pray to God she’s up on her meds, because I’m about to leave my daughter with her in a very tense situation. Fuck, this sucks.

I want to vomit. I knew this was coming. Just as I start to think I have a perfect life set up here with Gabby and Hannah, it all gets ripped out from under me.

“Okay,” I sigh, standing up and kissing Hannah and Gabby goodbye.

Fuck, this sucks.

“I’m calling Adam,” Gabby says as the men walk me out the door and straight for the elevator. They don’t fuck around… which I guess is a good thing to say about our fine city’s law enforcement, but it still sucks that they are pushing me through and not letting me really say anything to Gabby.

Shit!

By the time we make it to the station, I’m boiling with rage. I need to contain it because I’ve seen what it can do… but I just need to get out of this damned car. I need fresh air. Fuck, are they going to lock me up in a cell?! Oh shit, I can’t have that! I’m in my fucking suit… I have a motherfucking meeting this morning!

“Come on,” the short, pudgy one says, pulling me out of the back of the cop car. They handcuffed me right before we got out of the elevator and haven’t taken them off since. I growl as they make sure to be extra rough with me, for what reason I don’t know since I’ve given them no reason to think I’m dangerous.

Oh, right… I’m a murderer.

“In there,” the tall one nods to the right where I see a closed door. I raise my eyebrows at him and cock my head. My mother fucking hands are behind my back, dimwit.

He chuckles and instead of opening the door for me, he unlocks my hands and sets me free to open it myself.

What the hell? I didn’t think they were supposed to do that.

“Go on in. The DA is waiting for you.” He chuckles and watches me walk to the room before walking away.

Slowly, unsure of what lies on the other side of the door, I slowly open it and am greeted with a very smug, laughing face of the one and only Mr. Chicago. Letting out a breath, I smile and chuckle at him then notice the man he’s sitting next to.

“Holy shit,” I mutter, staring at someone I thought I’d never see again. “What the fuck?”

“So, you remember Colton?” Adam beams from across the table.

Colton Crawford: the most ruthless man, aside from Adam, that I’ve ever met. I went to college with him. He tried taking Carly away from me at one point… tried breaking us up. I haven’t liked him since. What the fuck is he doing here?

“Yeah,” I say, dumbfounded.

“Nice to see you, Benton,” he says, smiling. “I wish it were under different circumstances.” He chuckles, and I notice Adam shake his head.

“We’ve got a meeting, Colton… Can we get on with this?” Adam clears his throat and adjusts his suit, sitting up a little straighter and glaring at Colton.

What the fuck is going on!?

“Right… so Benton,” he starts. “You beat up Mrs. Rosdale in defense of your fiancé… Is this correct?” He pins me with his glare and I feel my palms getting sweaty.

“Yes,” I say.

“And you were defending her why?” He readies his pen, and watches me as I narrow my eyes at him.

“She had a gun in my home. She had already shot my fiancé once and was ready to shoot again. My child was in the room and, at the time, I wasn’t aware who had been shot… I was defending the people I love from a crazy-“

“That’s good. Adam, we have all we need. Benton,” he says, standing. “Your defense of Gabby and Hannah is all I needed to hear. Homicide in defense of someone in the state of Illinois is termed ‘justifiable homicide’ and is not illegal. You did what you had to do to save lives. I truly believe you didn’t beat her with the thought of killing her.” He pauses and narrows his eyes at me. “So, for those reasons, we’re clearing your papers and you’re good to go to work. Oh… and I really am sorry about everything it seems you’ve been through lately, Benton.” He smiles and holds his hand out to shake mine as I fumble with words to respond. Instead of speaking, I shake his hand and thank him, watching in confusion as he walks out of the room.

“Damn,” Adam chuckles after Colton leaves the room. “He said you weren’t going to like him, but that was just cold, dude. You just literally got away with murder,” he says, laughing.

“It was self-defense,” I growl. “Why the hell… how the hell… what the fuck just happened? Why was I brought in like a criminal just to be set free?”

“Oh, that? He thought it’d be funny,” he says, chuckling. “Don’t worry, dude. Gabby called… she knows it’s all good and they are fine. They’ll be waiting for you at home tonight.”

“Fuck,” I say, shaking my head. “So, that’s it?”

“That’s the perks of being bro’s with the most powerful man in Chicago.” He chuckles. “That, and the fact that you didn’t do anything illegal, man.”

“Yeah,” I mutter as we walk out to the car. “Doesn’t feel right still, though.”

“Yeah… we all have things like that. Things that’ll eat at us if we let it. Just don’t let it. Come on… we have money to give people.” He slaps me on the back as I get in the passenger seat of his car.

That’s the damn truth.

The trick is… just don’t let it eat at us…