Текст книги "CRAZY"

Автор книги: M. Dauphin

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

Gabby

Fade to Black

I’ve been doing this for a week already, but waking up next to my fiancé is something I’ll never get used to. However, his rock hard body and morning wood are something I can definitely learn to live with. Each morning since he proposed, I’ve made sure to start the day off right. His body must be getting used to this, because he’s rock hard and still fast asleep. Grinning to myself, I snake my body under the covers and take him in my mouth, slowly, all the way back. Hearing his moans makes me wet immediately, and it’s only a few pumps before he’s fully awake and cursing, hand on my head over the covers.

“Fuck, baby,” he moans as I swallow him. I love pleasing him, and surprising him like this in the morning is the absolute best. “God, Gabby, I’m gonna come,” he groans.

Pumping harder and faster, he tenses and I suck as hard as I can as his orgasm explodes in my mouth. Making sure I swallow every last drop, he’s practically pushing me off of him with laughter by the time I’m done playing with him.

“Damnit, woman,” he grunts, pulling me up to kiss him. “I could get used to waking up like that.” He slams his lips to mine and kisses me. “I’m gonna be late to work,” he whispers between kisses. “But I don’t fucking care.”

Flipping me over, he takes his time kissing down my body. When he comes to my belly button I can’t help but laugh when he starts licking around it, the dips his tongue in. Fuck, that’s hot.

Making his way lower and lower, he takes his time getting to my core, now soaking wet with need. Slipping his fingers in with ease, I moan as he takes my clit in his mouth and starts nibbling on it.

“Oh, fuck,” I gasp as one of his fingers travels south to my ass and slips in. “Shit shit shit,” I murmur over and over as he starts playing me.

“Like that?” he asks between licks of my clit. He starts biting my inner thigh as his fingers twist up and I lose it.

“Shit, yes,” I pant as he gently pulls it out and pushes it back in. “Fuck, Benton, don’t stop.” I gasp when his teeth come around my tight nub, sending waves of pleasure through my entire body.

“One day, I’ll have this fucking ass, baby,” he growls, licking and groaning. Shit, that’s so fucking hot. Goddamnit, this man.

“FUCK!” I scream, bowing my back off the bed. The minute he notices my orgasm starting to rip through me, he pulls his finger out of my ass which sends off another wave of pleasure through my body. “Holy shit,” I groan, coming down from the intense orgasm. “Fuck me,” I gasp. Shit.

“I’d love to, but now I’m really going to be late for work,” he stands and winks at me and my vagina is automatically ready for him again. How can one wink do that to me?!

“Fine,” I huff. “Tonight… I’m holding you to it.”

“Oh, you’ll be holding something tonight… that’s for sure.” Grinning, he slips into the bathroom right as I throw the pillow at him.

Jesus, I love that man.

By afternoon, Hannah and I have run all over the city to change addresses, fill out paperwork, and get things finalized with my move to Benton’s. He keeps telling me to call it home, but until everything of mine is where it should be, and I’m no longer living out of a box, it won’t seem like my home.

Hannah’s crying and I’m trying to get her and the groceries in and out of the hallway before someone on the floor gets pissed that we’re making so much noise. Apparently, these walls are paper-thin… or so says our neighbor whose bedroom backs up to our bathroom.

Grinning, I remember that morning in the shower all too well. He’s so attentive and loving. His hands take what they want and give what I deserve and then some. He’s the best I’ve ever been with, and will ever be with. I still can’t believe this ring, but he’s convinced he wasn’t going to buy anything less.

I guess it’s time for me to start planning the wedding… my wedding! Holy shit, I’m getting married!

“Hannah!” I squeal when it all clicks. “Oh, how awesome! You can get a little dress, and, oh my gosh, this is so awesome!” We dance around the kitchen, momentarily forgetting the groceries waiting on us.

How’d it take me this long for it all to click? Maybe because I took the weekend off from worrying about shit to focus on my best friend’s wedding that was just absolutely perfect. I’ve never cried at weddings, but I definitely did at this one. She was so beautiful, and Adam just looked beside himself with joy. It makes me proud to know that Benton and I had a hand in getting those two stubborn assholes together.

“Alright, pea. I’ve got to get these put away before it all goes bad.” I put her in the bouncer on the kitchen floor and start humming a song to her when there’s a knock on the door. Glancing at the clock, I know Benton should be home any time now, but he never knocks.

Maybe he left his keys at home today, or has his hands full with something.

Swinging open the door, I see a face I haven’t seen in years and one word screams over and over in my head: RUN.

“Gabrielle,” my mother grins. “How’s your life treating you?” Slyly, she pushes her way into the foyer, and I have half a mind to punch her out. I can’t let her see Hannah, so I back my way to the kitchen opening, trying to block her from my mother’s view.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me. I know all about sweet Hannah, and Benton… I know it all. The happy life you’re trying to live when you deserve none of it.” She pulls something out from her back, and I immediately tense.

She’s got a fucking gun. A GUN!

“You know, I should’ve done this a long time ago,” she mumbles. “You need to be reminded why you don’t deserve shit like this.” She shakes her head then raises the gun and shoots.

Just like that.

“No!” I yell, lunging for Hannah.

Hearing a gunshot on TV is one thing. Hearing it such a close range is a whole different thing. The pain in my ears makes my vision blurry. I see a figure in the doorway… the woman that fired the shot.

Then I see another figure in the doorway, immediately pummeling my mom to the ground. Oh God, I never knew close range shots could make your vision blur and your entire body hurt. I hear Hannah crying, and immediately turn to her, seeing a speck of red on her shirt.

“Shit,” I try to whisper, but it all comes out muddled. Too muddled. I feel… drunk? I try to turn and look at the woman standing in my doorway, but I can’t see anything.

That’s when everything fades to black.

Benton

All over again

“Benton! Stop!” I hear Adam’s voice behind me, but I don’t slow down. Not even bothering with the elevator, I take the steps two at a time. As soon as I get to my floor, I hear the gunshot.

FUCK!!

“NO!” I scream, bursting through the door and plowing down the hallways to my door. Wide open.

The figure in the doorway looks menacing, and is still holding the gun out. Logic completely turns off and I take her down. The fucking bitch ruined my Gabby’s life. I hear another shot as I take her down, but my switch has been flipped, and I’m in attack mode. Nobody comes into my home and tries taking the only thing I love from me.

Nobody.

“Mother FUCKER,” I scream, plowing into her face until all I see is red. This bitch called me a half hour ago telling me what she was going to do. Fucking crazy cunt, knowing full well I was far away from home. She’s good as dead when my fist gets done with her.

Son of a bitch!

“Benton!” Adam yells from the hallway. I don’t stop. I can’t stop.

Jesus Christ, hitting something feels fantastic.

“Fuck, B!” Adam screams, hopping over me into the apartment. I throw a few good punches, though I’m fairly certain she’s good as dead since it’s been a few hits since she stopped moving.  Standing, I spit on her lifeless body, and look where Adam ran to, immediately falling to my knees.

Oh, shit.

“Oh, fuck… no. No, baby, no,” I cry, feeling the bile rise. Fuck!

“Benton, get the fuck over here!” he yells back at me, lifting her body and trying to find a pulse.

I can’t move, though. I can’t… I can’t.

“Fuck, B! Get your goddamned phone out, and call 911! She’s got a fucking pulse, but it’s weak,” he says, cradling Gabby’s bloody body on his lap.

“Oh my god,” I whisper, managing to crawl over to her. I hear Adam curse and see him pull his phone from his pocket, but she’s so pale. She’s… she’s grey.

Oh fuck fuck fuck no.

I hear Hannah crying and see her in her bouncer, right around the corner, Gabby’s blood splattering her clothes.

No…. no no this can’t be happening.

“Gabby,” I cry, laying myself on top of her. “Oh fuck, no baby.” My hands are shaking as I take her body in my arms. There’s no movement from here, and only a very light breath coming from her nose. Shit! I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her!

“Fuck!” I scream as Adam tries finding her wound. God, there’s so much blood.

I cry harder than I cried when I lost Carly. I cry harder than when my mom died. Jesus, why do I keep losing the people I love? Adam picks up Hannah and tries to calm her, but I don’t leave Gabby’s side. There’s two holes where she was shot, so I apply pressure as best as I can but she’s not responding at all. No moaning, no movement… nothing. Fuck!

I cry for Gabby and her life she’s going to miss. I cry for Hannah. I cry for every fucked up thing that has made my world so terribly depressing. When the paramedics come in, they have to physically pull me off of her to get to her.

I’m numb. When they wheel her out, Adam stays with Hannah so I can ride with Gabby. There’s beeping in the ambulance, but that doesn’t mean she’s alive. She’s so cold.

“She’s cold,” I mutter, taking her hand in mine. Is this the last time I’ll hold her hand? Oh, fuck. Shit!

“Here,” one of the paramedics in the front seat hands me back a blue blanket, and I drape it over the lower part of her body as the other men and women in the ambulance with me work on her to keep her alive.

Staring numbly, I watch them applying pressure to the bullet holes, checking machines, cutting clothes. I barely remember them taking her from me when we make it to the hospital… I can’t move. I can’t do this all over again.

The driver tells me where I can wait for her, so I numbly walk and sit in a room filled with other people. I think I’m going to pass out.

I can’t do this again.

Closing my eyes, I block out every noise and moment in the room. I’m not here. I’m not waiting in a hospital room, sitting here while someone I love is being worked on. I’m not doing this for the third time in a fucking year.

This can’t be real.

I’m not sure how long it’s been. I don’t know what time we left the house, what time we got here. I don’t know if she’s alive or dead.

She can’t be dead. I’ve gone from sad, to numb, to pissed since I’ve been sitting here. Pissed at the world because it apparently hates me.

“Hey, man,” I hear Adam say, sitting down next to me.

“Where’s my daughter?” I mumble, wondering why the last time I saw him he was going to stay with her, now he’s here with me, and she’s nowhere in sight.

“Annaliese has her. You shouldn’t be here alone, B.”

“I’m fine. Your time is precious, Mr. Chicago. Don’t waste it on me.”

“I’m not taking offense by that because I know you’re hurting,” he says. “I’m also not going anywhere. Get used to it.”

He leans back in his seat, and puts his hands behind his head, making himself comfortable for the long haul.

Hours pass and we still haven’t heard anything. It shouldn’t be taking this long, right? We should have heard something by now.

“Mr. James?” A nurse says from the doors to the surgery doors.

It’s not a doctor. She doesn’t look sad… that’s a good sign, right? Adam stands and pats my back, reminding me that he’s still here for me. Even if we haven’t talked since he got here.

I can’t. I don’t know what to talk about, and I definitely don’t want to relive the phone call I got. We were just getting ready to leave work when it came through. The minute I head the scratchy voice on the other end of the phone, I knew it wasn’t going to be anything good. When she told me, “I hope you kissed her goodbye this morning. It’ll be the last kiss you’ll ever have on her warm lips”, I lost it. Adam came running after me and we made it to my place in record time… but I wasn’t fast enough.

“If you want to sign a few things for us, Mr. James, you’ll be able to come see the doctor. Without you two being married, it’s a little different, but she has no next of kin and she’s so groggy that we’re taking your word on being her fiancé.” She looks over at Adam and shrugs. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to stay out here, Mr. Callahan.”

He chuckles and smiles. “First time I’ve ever been turned down.”

“Get used to it,” I grumble as I start to fill out the mounds of paperwork.

By the time I’m done, I’m shaking with nerves while I wait for someone to take me to her. She’s alive, and that’s all that matters.

“Mr. James, this way please,” the nurse from before says from the doorway. Walking behind her, she stops at an office first. There’s a young doctor in a white coat going over some files. When the nurse announces who I am, he stops and looks sadly at me.

Fuck.

“Hey, Benton,” he says. “Have a seat, please.” He motions to a chair in his office, and I look at the nurse.

I thought I was going to see my girl?

“Come on, it’ll be fast. I’ve been on my feet for a long time. Just need a break,” he says, sitting in his chair.

“Benton, Gabby went through a lot today. One bullet hit a rib and splintered out, piercing vital organs. We’ve repaired them, but, in order to get to a few of the pieces, we had to cut her open in a few spots. She also had a shot in the shoulder that went all the way through, but hit a few nerves on its route. Unfortunately, repairing those won’t be so easy. There’s a surgery scheduled for the morning to attempt to mend some of the pieces. Her body couldn’t take much more today… she already lost so much blood before she got here.” He sighs and rakes his hands through his hair. Watching him, I see how exhausted he is. He was probably the doctor that worked on her, and he looks that wore out. Fuck. “She’ll have to undergo a lot of physical therapy and, even with that, she might not ever have full function of her arm. She’s going to be sore, angry, and probably more depressed than she already was.”

I narrow my eyes at him and he chuckles.

“She’s in our system through Dr. Travers. I’m able to see all of her medical records. That’s why I called you in here. I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything,” I whisper. “I love her. I’ll do anything to help her.”

“Good… she’s going to need you. She’s going to need patience. She’s going to need help… but she’s going to need you to trust her.”

“I do trust-”

“Not like that. She’s going to need you to trust in her. Trust that she’s going to make it through this. When someone with PTSD goes through another horribly tragic event like this, it can set back their recovery and sometimes wipe all progress clear to the point of starting over.”

Oh.

“I will be there for her.” I grind, feeling the knot in my throat tighten again.

“Good… because, if you can’t promise me you’ll be there for her through everything and not get mad because she’s not the girl you fell in love with… you need to leave now.” He nods at the door and glares at me.

He’s fucking serious!

“I’m not leaving her,” I growl. “I need to see her,” I say, standing and walking to the door. “You can either show me, or I’ll find my on way.”

With my hand on the doorknob, he chuckles and stands to take me to my girl.

My Gabby.

Walking into her room, I see her like I’ve never seen her before.

Blank.

She’s awake. Laying in the hospital bed, her eyes open but not moving, she doesn’t respond to me entering the room. There are tubes all over her and machines beeping, but she’s not my Gabby. She looks the same, but there’s a look in her eyes that has me freaked out.

She’s blank.

The doctor gives me a look of warning before he leaves me be alone with her.

“Hey,” I whisper, walking to her side and taking her hand in mine. Before I can pull it to my mouth to kiss her, she pulls it away and looks out the window across the room.

Fuck.

I sigh and pull up a chair.

“Gabby,” I whisper. “I know you might not want me here, but I don’t care. I love you and I’m here.”

She doesn’t respond, which scares me.

I need my girl back.

And I’m not leaving her side until she’s my Gabby again.

We sit in silence for I don’t know how long. Thankful Annaliese is confident with Hannah, I don’t move a muscle, just waiting for Gabby to talk to me.

When the sun starts to rise I finally feel my eyes getting heavy. Refusing to leave her side, I lay my head back in the chair and drift off to sleep, remembering back when things were less complicated.

***

“What’s that?” Gabby asks, tracing the scar on my back.

“I got that in my first fight. I wasn’t trained well… and I wasn’t aware that some of the men out there were as ruthless as they were.” I sigh, not really wanting to relive that injury.

“What happened?” she whispers, laying gentle kisses on it. Jesus, if we’re just fucking around, this is walking dangerously close to romantic feelings and shit. I didn’t think she wanted that?

“I wasn’t watching him… apparently, neither were the refs. He pulled a knife and I went down.” I roll to my back so she can’t see it anymore and brush the hair from her face. “I don’t like to talk about my scars,” I whisper.

“Me either,” she whispers back, bringing her fingers to my jawline.

“Your bod is fucking pristine,” I growl, pulling her on top of me. She laughs and rolls her eyes.

“If you only knew,” she says, right before she kisses me and reaches down to rub my dick like she’s ravaged for it, even though we just got done having sex for the third time tonight about a half hour ago.

Damn, this woman will be the end of me.

***

“Hey,” her raspy voice wakes me from my light nap. I’ve been sleeping like shit these last few days so any chance I get now my eyes seem to close on their own accord.

“Hey!” I say, shooting up in my seat. Jesus, I need to calm down. She was just shot; I need to chill. I just… I need her. “How are you?” I reach for her again and, when my hand connects with hers, she just stares at it. Blankly. I sigh, not knowing what to say to her.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you?

Thank you for jumping in front of the bullet that was headed for my girl?

I love you so much it literally hurts me knowing that you’re hurt and I can’t do anything about it?

“Water,” she rasps, trying to reach for her cup. It’s full of ice, so I give her a few chips and watch her close her eyes as she gently chews on it. When she’s done, she takes a ragged breath and opens her eyes, glancing down at her bandaged body. “More permanent reminders,” she whispers, shaking her head and laying it gently back on the pillow.

“More?” I whisper, watching her as she shuts down again.

It’s been days of her not talking to me. I’ve been sitting here just waiting. Waiting for the sparkle in her eyes to come back to normal. Waiting to hear her tell me she loves me. Waiting for something that has never came. Each day that passes, I fear it never will come.

“More.” She whispers, opening her eyes and gently lifting her head. “The eyes,” she manages. I know her voice is still scratchy and dry, but I’m not sure what she’s getting at.

“Eyes?” I hate to make her talk, but I don’t understand what her eyes have to do with permanent scars.

She smiles sadly and nods. Clearing her throat and taking another ice cube, she takes a breath and watches me as she tells me, in detail, what happened the night twelve years ago.

“When the car hit the tractor, the airbags all went off. I had on glasses at the time. A shard of glass got impaled in my eye… I didn’t have insurance, and didn’t get it checked out. It got infected... there were all kinds of complications.” She shrugs and looks out the window. “I’m losing sight in it. It gets worse as the years go on. I’m sure that, in a few more years, I’ll be completely blind in it.”

Blind?

“Jesus,” I say, sighing. “Gabby, I’m sorry, but I don’t see you as that person with a bad eye… or someone with scars. I see you as my Gabby. The woman who loves my daughter. I see you as the woman who makes me so goddamned hard every time she walks into the room.”

She grins and my heart warms. She hasn’t grinned for me in days. I’m actually getting somewhere.

At least, I thought I was. Until she starts playing with her ring. The look on her face tells me exactly what she’s going to say before she even says it, and my heart immediately starts to crack.

“B… I can’t do this,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Slipping off the ring, she hands it back to me, and it’s all I can do not to scream at her, but the doctor’s words ring in my head.

Be patient with her.

“Gabby, please don’t do this.”

“Can you please go? I’m tired,” she says, pushing the button on the side of her bed.

Fuck!

“Yes, ma’am… Can we get you something?” The nurse’s voice rings through the small speaker on the side of her bed.

“I’m tired. Can you please make sure no guests for a while?” she says with her eyes closed. “My guest will be checking out shortly.”

I sigh and shake my head. Standing to leave, I make it to the door before I turn back to look at her. She’s my Gabby. I’m not giving up, and I’m not letting her push me away.

She needs me, but I need her more.

“I love you, Gabby,” I whisper, watching her take a deep breath after the words leave my mouth.

She’s listening. She knows. She’s just sad, and having a hard time. I’ll give her that, but what I won’t give her is the satisfaction that she’s hurt me. I know that’s what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to push me away, but it’s not that easy to do.

Making it out to the waiting room, I have a few missed calls from Adam that I need to tend to before he shows up here, pissed.

“Hey,” I say when he grunts his answer.

“Benton. Fuck, man… you’ve put me through a shit storm today, you know that?” He sounds drained, and I suddenly feel bad for not finding help this week while I’ve been slacking at work.

“Sorry, man. I’ll bring someone up from downstairs to fill in for me until this stuff gets sorted out.”

“No man... not work. Work is going perfect. Take another week off,” he says chuckling. “You haven’t heard, obviously, have you?”

“Heard what?” I growl. What other bad news is going to smack me across the face?

“Gabby’s mom died from her injuries yesterday in the same hospital you two are at.”

Oh, fuck.

“Shit,” I say, sitting on a bench because I suddenly feel like I could pass out.

Shit, I killed someone.

“Oh my god, Adam,” I groan. “This isn’t happening. I didn’t… she wasn’t… she fucking shot Gabby!”

I can’t go to jail. I can’t leave my baby. I can’t… oh fuck fuck fuck.

“Relax, man. I’m having it taken care of. She has no next of kin, and no one really cares she’s dead. Plus, it was all in defense of Gabby who couldn’t defend herself.”

“Hell,” I sigh.

“B, dude, don’t worry about it. I’ve got this, but I just thought you should know in case Gabby finds out before you.”

Shit.

“Listen, I need to get moving. I have a meeting with the state department in a half hour. You’re going to be fine, Benton. I promise you. Now, go take care of your girl.”

Hanging up without words, I don’t move.

I can’t.

She’s going to hate me. I’m a killer. If she didn’t want to stay with me before, now she’s going to be terrified of me.

Fuck.