Текст книги "All of Me"

Автор книги: Kelly Moran

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

chapter

twenty-four

She was still staring at the bracelet, twirling it around her wrist, when Alec pulled the car up to her guesthouse. It was amazing. She’d hovered between tears and giddy laughter on the drive home. The charms were thoughtful and personal. Somehow, he’d worked himself into her life and had seen her better than anyone.

He was the only one who’d tried to see.

In a few short weeks the wedding would be over and he’d go back to New York. She didn’t know how she’d get through. What she felt for him and how profoundly she felt it was still a whirlwind inside her head. How could she stand on the beach and not think of how they met? Sleep in her bed without remembering their lovemaking?

“You ready?”

She lifted her gaze. “I thought we were going to dinner.” Instead, he’d driven her home.

“We are.”

They exited the car and walked across the crushed shell drive toward Cole and Mia’s. He took her hand and rounded the house.

“Surprise!”

Faith gasped. Cole, Mia, Ginny, Lacey, and Jake stood on the back deck, the fading light behind them and a cake on the table before them. Ginny held a bunch of balloons. A small stack of presents littered a patio table. Cole turned to flip something on the grill. Chicken. Her favorite.

Since she seemed to be frozen, Alec leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Happy birthday. If you eat fast, we can get to the thank-you portion quicker.”

She pressed her hand over her face and laughed, long and loud. So long that she had moisture in her eyes by the time she was through. “You guys, this is wonderful. I’ve never had a surprise party before.”

Jake and Alec exchanged a look, one she couldn’t decipher, but held an enormity of meaning. Eventually, Jake nodded slowly and draped an arm over her shoulder. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

Ginny bounded over, bouncing on her toes, and clumsily passed her the balloon strings. “I picked them out. I got one in every color because I don’t know your favorite color so that way you aren’t upset. It’s a rainbow!”

Faith smiled. Shook her head. “I don’t have a favorite color, so your rainbow is perfect. Very thoughtful, Ginny.”

Everyone started talking a mile a minute until her head spun and Cole shouted, “Food’s done.”

It wasn’t just the best birthday—it was the best day she’d ever had. Good friends to hang out with, a nice guy who wanted to take her to bed later, presents picked just for her, and the ocean playing its own sort of melody in the background. Never in her wildest imagination had she thought life could be so sweet. So perfect. Her heart flipped in her chest. Swelled.

Jake and Lacey had gotten her a gift certificate for a spa, and Cole and Mia a stationery set and candles scented like a sea breeze. Ginny had colored her a pretty, yet simple picture of them together on the beach, collecting shells. Faith promised to put it up on her fridge as soon as she got home.

They sat until long after sundown, cooled slightly by the breeze, chatting about the wedding and other miscellaneous topics. Easy conversation with easygoing people. Friends. It was great finally having them.

“Oh, my God, Lacey. This cake is so good.” Mia wiped her mouth with a napkin and waved off the margarita Jake held out. “I can’t wait for the wedding cake. Same bakery, right?”

“Yep.” Lacey sipped from her own glass. “Jake makes way better margaritas than me.”

Faith grinned and leaned back on the bench seat in the corner of the deck. “We won’t get nearly as drunk.”

Alec took the spot next to her and slipped his arm around her waist, encouraging her to lean against him. “And when, exactly, did Lacey get you drunk?”

“Yeah.” Jake’s gaze swung between them. “Why wasn’t I called?”

Faith laughed. “At Ginny’s slumber party. One sip and we were toast.”

“Yeah, but it was fun.”

“That it was. We’ll have to do it again, since Mia was gone the first time.”

“I’ll pass on Lacey’s margaritas, though.” Mia smiled and snuggled into Cole’s side while he kissed the top of her head. She looked at each of them expectantly. “I’m pregnant.”

A pause filled the space between them.

Lacey screeched and flew out of her chair, wrapping Mia in a fierce hug. “I’m going to be an auntie?”

“Yes, ma’am. And Ginny, too. Right, pretty girl?”

“Yeah! I get to read her stories and play with her. But not change diapers.”

They laughed.

“Remember we talked about this, Ginny.” Cole smiled at the teenager over Mia’s head. “It may not be a girl. It could be a boy. And no diapers if you don’t want to.”

Jake lifted his glass. “Right there with you on that one, Ginny girl. Congrats, you two. Very cool.”

“I’m already planning a shower.” Lacey hugged Mia again. “With little booties and clothes and stuffed bears. I’m so happy for you!”

“It’s still early. We’re not announcing yet.” Mia looked at the others. “Just our good friends and family.”

Faith stayed where she was, unsure if it was appropriate to hug Mia, too. “That is wonderful news. Congratulations!”

Alec lifted his glass. “Ditto. Here’s to the end of quiet nights.”

Cole laughed. “Got that right. Worth it, though.” He looked down at Mia’s face with such love that Faith’s heart thumped wistfully in jealousy.

They chatted another hour, the time flying discussing babies and names. Faith sighed happily, staring at her new friends. This night was so perfect, she wished it could last. But Ginny’s eyes were drooping and Cole yawned.

“Can I help you clean up, Mia?” Faith offered.

“No, no. It’s your birthday. Besides, there’s not much.”

They’d gotten most of it already, so she nodded. “Thank you again, guys. This was unexpected. I had the best time.”

Mia waved her over and took the initiative, wrapping Faith in a hug. “I hope you had a great day.”

Her throat grew tight. “I did. Thank you. And congratulations again. I’m so happy for you.” Mia and Cole had had a rough go trying to claim their happy ending. She was so, so pleased for them to start a new family. “You ever need a babysitter, you know where to find me.”

Mia grinned. “Thank you. I may make you regret those words.”

Faith laughed. “Doubtful.”

Alec took her hand, and they made their way to the beach. He was being unusually quiet, even for him, and Faith started to worry that something was wrong. He guided her toward the house, but she tilted her chin toward the water.

“Let’s walk for a bit.”

Nodding, he followed and stood by her side in the surf, staring pensively out to sea. A muscle bunched in his jaw. His shoulders were tense.

She wondered if she’d done something wrong or if he regretted giving her the bracelet. Maybe their relationship was hitting too hard and too close to home after getting together with friends. It was hard to tell with him when he got like this, lost in his own head. For all she knew, he was plotting a book.

“Do you want to call it a night and head back to your house? You seem like you need to be alone.”

Slowly, he turned his head and pinned her with those gray-blue eyes. Even in the dark their color was intense. The wind captured his black hair, making him look like a pirate.

His gaze dropped to her mouth before sliding back up to her eyes. “I should say yes. But no, I don’t want to be alone. I want you.” He looked back out at the ocean, a war waging over his face.

At a loss, she stood next to him as worry ate her stomach raw. “Are you okay?”

He nodded absently, then shook his head. “All this talk of babies. Just . . . I don’t know. I wasn’t ready for it, I guess.” He grew silent for a moment. “I should get used to the idea. Lacey and Jake will want kids someday soon.”

Laura’s miscarriage and the pain in his voice when he’d told her what happened kept her silent, fishing for the right words. She only had more questions. “Do you want kids? Of your own someday?” That would mean letting go of Laura and moving on, something she didn’t think he’d be willing to do. Or able.

“I did, once.”

Her heart hurt for him. Guilt was a terrible thing to live with, even if misplaced. But he wasn’t ready to hear that, so she sighed and offered what little she could. “Let’s head inside. I still have a lot of thanking to do.”

He breathed a laugh and looked at her. His smile never reached his eyes. Leaning in, he whispered a kiss to her lips. “I wouldn’t say no to that.”

They walked over the dunes and into the house, neither saying anything as they made their way to her bedroom. Quietly, she closed the door.

The sound seemed to kick him into gear, because instantly his hands were at her waist, tugging her shirt up and over her head. His mouth sought hers, hungry and desperate. He fought to take his own shirt off, tossing it across the room. She did the same with her shorts. Panties. His pants. Briefs.

He sat at the edge of the mattress and pulled her to him, his large hands holding her hips and their bare skin connecting. His fingers dug into her flesh as his gaze skimmed over her breasts, her belly. Lower. He sucked in air through his nose, as if trying to center himself. But whatever had him distracted wasn’t easing. Moment by moment his eyes grew lost, until he almost wasn’t in the same room.

When he dropped his forehead between her breasts and whispered her name, she made a vow to do everything she could to help him through his grief. Laura’s accident and the loss of his baby may have been years ago, but he was just dealing with it now. It was entirely possible he was starting to develop stronger feelings for her in their still-new relationship, but didn’t know how to handle them, which only compounded his guilt.

She slid her fingers into his hair with one hand and drew her other arm around his back, holding him to her chest. His arms instantly came around her body and squeezed. Held. She stroked his shoulders, his back. Slow, methodical circles to ease his tension until he was ready to face her again.

A minute or two passed before the wetness of his tears dripped onto her skin, hot and heavy. Silent tears. She said nothing, not wanting to hurt his pride or make him ashamed to cry. He needed to let go. She was just glad she was here when he did. When Hope died, there had been no one to hold her and help her understand. No one to lean on to absorb the endless pain. Her parents were too torn up in their own grief to see anything else. At least, for Alec, she could be that crutch.

He didn’t sob or shake, but his body started to sag against hers and it was becoming harder to hold him. Without a word, she gently encouraged him to scoot back so he was no longer at the edge of the mattress and straddled his lap. She held his head on her shoulder, his face buried in her neck, as his arms banded around her back. He’d stopped crying, but his breathing was shallow as he worked out the rest.

“Christ. I’m sorry, Faith.” He nuzzled her neck and let out an uneven breath.

“You’ve been sorry long enough.”

His head lifted. Brows furrowed, he stared at her.

“So have I. Maybe we should both stop.”

He cupped her cheek and drew in a breath. “I wish I could.”

She did, too, but hopefully that would come in time. “You’re tired. It’s late. Lay down with me?”

“In a minute.” He pressed a kiss between her breasts. There was nothing sexual in the move, just tenderness. His finger traced her scar, low on her belly. “Is this from your surgery?”

“Yes.”

“How old were you? I’ll bet you weren’t scared for a second.”

The problem was, she’d never stopped being afraid.

She climbed in bed and lay back, opening her arms for him to join her. He followed and pulled the sheet over them before tucking her in the crook of his arm. They lay there in the dark as he ran his thumb over her shoulder. Her lids were heavy, her body exhausted, but she wanted to answer him.

“I was thirteen and I was scared. Terrified, actually.” She tilted her head up to look at him. “I’d given her bone marrow and several blood transfusions, but they were going to put me to sleep for surgery. All I could think about was who would help Hope if I didn’t wake up.”

“What did your parents say?”

She rested her cheek on his chest. “They didn’t know. They kept moving between my room and Hope’s, trying to be with us both. I put on a brave front so they could stay with Hope. She needed them more than I did.”

“That’s bullshit.” He turned on his side and faced her, propping his head in his hand. “I’m sorry to say it like that, but it’s true. You may have been conceived to save your sister, but she wasn’t their only child.”

“You’re angry again.” Just as before, she reeled at the frustration rolling off of him. She’d gone from being invisible to mattering so much in such a short period of time. “They did their best by both of us. They died a little when she did. Don’t be angry for me. It’s done. In the past.”

He stared down at her, his lips thin and his eyes fierce. “It’s not done. You’re still donating. Day after day, you’re waiting for them to love you like they did her. That’s their hang-up, not yours.”

“Alec—”

“No. Listen to me. You are not the sum of all your parts, Faith.” His gaze darted over her face, her hair. He tucked a strand behind her ear and sighed, his gaze softening. “You’re so much more than that.”

His words pierced her heart and made her realize that was exactly what she’d been doing. She’d been giving her parents pieces of herself in the hope that they’d love her a smidgen of how much they loved Hope. But if they didn’t by now, they never would. Still, it hurt. So, so bad it hurt.

When would she ever be good enough? She’d let Hope down. She’d let her parents down. Mostly, she was letting herself down. And Alec? He’d leave her behind soon, too. Because it seemed that’s all she was ever good for. A short blip of time until her services were complete.

He flopped to his back and drew her to his side. “I was supposed to be making love to you. Some finish to your birthday this turned out to be.”

The pensive, solemn mood had passed, and the stirrings of need started to swirl within her. Not greed or blind lust, but the need to soothe. To touch and be touched.

She draped her leg over his hips and slid over him. The thickness of his erection grew between their bodies as she stared down at him. He tried to flip her over and take control back, but she didn’t let him. Tonight wasn’t about the climax. It was about the path there.

He dropped his hands to her thighs and stroked. She kissed every inch of skin, touched him with all the emotion trapped inside. And when she took him inside her, they both gasped.

She kissed him softly, on his forehead, his cheeks, his mouth. “I wouldn’t change one minute of this day, Alec. Not one minute.”

He looked in her eyes and swallowed. “Neither would I.”

When they’d both been satisfied, he kissed her hair and tucked her against his side. In time, his breathing evened out, his chest rising and falling in sleep.

But her eyes didn’t close until near sunrise.

chapter

twenty-five

Because things had been going so well between him and Faith, Alec figured he’d fuck it all up and accept his mother’s dinner invitation. She’d wanted to have Lacey and Jake over before the wedding, and when she found out from Jake that Alec was seeing Faith, she’d jumped all over it until he relented. Faith being Faith, she was thrilled by the idea and surprised to be included. He hoped that happy little bubble of hers wasn’t popped by his father’s lack of tact.

Things had . . . evolved since the night of her birthday a few weeks ago. They’d slipped into a comfortable routine. Domestic, even. She worked with Ginny during the day, and he dragged himself out of bed before noon to work on the manuscript. They had dinner at his place, walked the surf, and slept at her house. Sometimes, she cooked. Other times, he’d grill something. On the weekends, they hung out with Cole and Mia, and Lacey and Jake, either on the back deck or on the beach. Drinks. Good conversation.

He and Faith made love nightly. Talked endlessly. He couldn’t wait for her to get off work to tell her what he’d written that day, and he enjoyed when she’d relay some cute thing she and Ginny had done together.

Christ. They’d turned into a sappy movie of the week. And he liked it.

He didn’t know how he was going to leave town in one piece. He was starting to realize it wasn’t just the wide-open expanse of Wilmington, of home, that finally gave him peace—it was her. Here, and with Faith, he could breathe. There was fresh air and sun. New York had been his own form of torture. The city had beauty and qualities he loved, but the air was recycled, the buildings a trap. There was no room, no one who gave a damn about him. He hadn’t known he’d been holding his breath for almost ten years. No wonder his writing had stalled.

He glanced at Faith in the passenger seat next to him, her brown waves caught in the wind as his convertible hugged the highway. She had her face tilted toward the sun and a smile wide enough to encompass the state.

Turning back to the road, he gripped the wheel with more force than necessary. He didn’t know if he could write without her. The book had been turned in to his editor, and Cole had agreed to represent him as his agent, so things were back on track.

Except, what happened if he returned to his apartment and the words were gone? She wouldn’t be there every night to work out the plot. No muse. No fix.

Hell. That was only half the problem. The rest was Faith herself. Ten years and no woman had made him question the guilt, the decision to live with what he’d done. Ten minutes and Faith had him wanting to move past it as if none of it mattered, as if it hadn’t happened.

It did matter. It had happened. Laura’s life was gone. And all because he couldn’t take care of what was his, couldn’t love what was in front of him enough.

“It’s a pretty house.”

Faith’s voice snapped him out of his head. He looked at his parents’ cozy ranch and wondered how they’d gotten there. Jake’s car was in the driveway in front of his and the smell of barbeque wafted in the humid air.

His gut turned to ice. “No matter what crazy-ass thing my father says, just remember you like me and I’m good in bed.”

She laughed, the sound filling the holes in his chest. “Come on.”

The next hour went by in a blur. Faith fit right in with his family as if born into it. She helped his mom make a pasta salad, set the picnic table with Lacey and Jake, quipped with his dad about baseball. It was all so ordinary. So normal. Even Dad was unusually well behaved. Not a stupid, tactless thing spilled from his lips.

By the time the food was gone and the sun was setting, his parents had tortured Lacey and Faith with countless stories of their youth. All he could think was, did Faith’s parents have any stories like these? Had they looked at her, noticed her enough to see the true gem?

His dad got up to head inside and grab another beer from the fridge.

Alec leaned back in his lawn chair and stretched his legs out. At least his knee had stopped bouncing. He hadn’t realized how nervous he was bringing Faith here until the muscles in his shoulders unknotted. Taking each other to meet the parents was something serious couples did. And they were serious. That much was certain. Except serious didn’t equal permanent.

“I’m going to run to the ladies’ room real quick.” Faith patted his hand.

He nodded. Watched her go.

“I really like her.”

He turned his head to look at his mom. “I’m not surprised.”

“She’s so sweet,” Lacey said. “It’s hard not to like her. She’s got a big heart. You should see her with Ginny.”

Jake smiled nauseatingly at Lacey. “Ginny’s got a thing for Alec, too. Eats up everything he says.”

Alec took a sip of beer. “It’s the writer thing. She’s into spooky stories right now.”

“Are you getting serious with Faith?” His mom’s pleading eyes met his. “You haven’t brought anyone home since . . .”

“Laura. Since Laura, you mean. You can say her name. I won’t go up in flames.” Alec drew in a breath. Released it. His mom wasn’t to blame. “And Faith and I can’t be anything more than this. I’m going back to the city after the wedding.”

“Oh. I figured, you know, since . . .” Mom shook her head. “Never mind.”

Jake leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Anger seethed in his eyes. “Nice, man.”

He shrugged. Let his brother stew. No way would he lie to Mom. That kind of hurt was worse than the pity in her eyes.

Christ. He wanted out of here. This too-cozy little shindig was grinding his very raw nerves to dust, only reminding him of what couldn’t be.

He dug his toes in the grass. In the silence that hung, it dawned on him how long Faith and his father had been gone. Alone in the house. With God knows the kinds of things his father would say . . .

“I’ll be right back.”

He tossed his bottle in the trash and walked through the kitchen to the living room, where their voices rose over the sounds of the Braves game. Worry pinched his gut until Faith laughed. He stopped in the doorway, unseen as of yet.

“What book are you on now?”

“Just finished the last one. Nightmares, I tell you. This is why I stick to baseball memoirs or true crime.” Dad barked out a laugh. “But, hey, my son wrote it.”

The air left his lungs in one fell swoop. The edges of his vision grayed. He pressed a palm to the wall to stay upright.

His dad had read his books? His dad, who joked every chance he got that his son got paid to daydream?

“You must be so proud of them both. Jake’s done an amazing job with Lacey’s property. It’s magical. The wedding will be lovely.”

Dad nodded. “Jake was the easy one. Always getting dirty, digging a hole. Typical boy mischief. He shares my eye for landscaping. Alec was always off in his own head. Couldn’t hear a thing you said or follow a rule to save his life.”

Faith grinned. “I hear the creative types are hard to raise. But you know, he probably got that from you. Gardening is an art, too, just a different form.”

Dad laughed. “Miss Armstrong, are you saying I gave myself this headache?”

“Afraid so.”

Alec had heard enough. He turned and strode through the kitchen, pushed through the back door with shaking hands. He glared at his parents’ postage-stamp yard. The trim grass, strategically placed flowers in varying heights and colors, the mature birches. But the pounding in his head wouldn’t abate.

Jake stood. “Alec?”

He looked at his mom. “He read my books?”

Mom pressed a hand to her chest, her eyes panicked and wary at his tone. “I—”

“Twenty-five bestsellers and all I ever got was laughed at. Don’t you think you could’ve told me? Given me some measure of peace that I wasn’t a total joke to him?”

Faith and his father stepped around the house, coming into the yard from the front.

“What’s this about, son?”

The pounding in his skull amplified, until he couldn’t see through the haze. He never doubted his father’s love. His respect, maybe, but never his love. But over time, the thoughtless things his dad said, over and over, had grated at his patience until fury boiled. “It’s about you telling my girlfriend how goddamn proud you are, when all you’ve ever done is make fun of me.”

Jake stepped forward, his hand extended. “Alec, calm down.”

Calm down. Calm down?

“What the hell for?” He rounded on Jake. “That’s what I do, right? Get irrational and go off the deep end? Except I’m not the one who went off the deep end that night. Laura did.” A sharp jab pierced his chest. His voice rose, until the shouting in his head matched his tone. “Maybe I should’ve tried to stop her, but I didn’t. How could I have known what would happen? Huh? She got in that car drunk and she crashed it. Her, not me. And I’m the one paying for it. I’m the one living with it. It wasn’t my fault!”

His voice raked, until it was like roaring through broken glass. A pulsing, violent vibration ripped through him. Perhaps he was losing his tact gene, too. Like father, like son.

And then he realized what he said.

He froze. Stumbled back into the screen door. Agony clawed his chest. His breath heaved in and out. His hands fisted. Shook. His insides felt torn to shreds.

Who knew? He was alive after all.

“It wasn’t my fault,” he said again, a whisper for his ears only, as if trying the words on for size.

“That’s right, Alec. It wasn’t.”

Her mermaid voice washed over him, filled him with a measure of warmth. The sweet scent of her soft skin teased his nose. He looked up into amber eyes. Kind, understanding eyes. Too kind for him.

The images of Laura drifted away. Her broken body. A shell hooked up to tubes and wires. The antiseptic smell he’d always associate with her. With that night.

“I have to get out of here.”

Faith reached out for him, but he brushed her off. He couldn’t have her touch him right now, couldn’t stand it. He’d fucking shatter.

The others stood in the yard, jaws slack and eyes round. Frozen. No one moved. No one spoke.

He shoved off the door and strode away on legs that barely held him upright.

*   *   *

Jake walked up to the base of the deck stairs and rammed his hands in his pockets.

Alec blinked and turned his attention back to the ocean. Stars littered the sky. The water was a black ribbon in the distance, the waves rhythmic against the shore. Only the slight breeze made the humidity bearable after a brief thundershower had swept through an hour before. He’d sat through the downpour and was still soaked through.

“I drove Faith home, in case you were wondering.”

Alec closed his eyes and sighed. Shit. “Thank you.” He didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice. His throat was still raw from screaming. “Is she upset?”

Jake turned and sat next to him on the step. “She took it in stride. You should go check on her yourself.”

He planned to, but he needed to get his head on straight first. Running to her every time he had a problem had to stop. In a couple of weeks, they’d be over. He couldn’t keep depending on her.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Jake said. “And Mom. Dad went into the house and never came back out.”

Alec had scared the shit out of himself, too. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too. I think I pushed you too hard.”

“You didn’t. It’s just . . .” He ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t do the right thing for both of them, Jake. I can’t leave Laura in the state she’s in, and I can’t give Faith the hope that I will.” Most of all, he couldn’t forgive himself and move forward. His knee bounced, the nervous energy starting anew. “Let’s take a walk.”

Instead of turning left, Alec veered them right, away from the houses and to the abandoned area on the other strip of the shore. There was a half mile between the Covingtons’ private beach and the foreclosed house he’d driven by earlier in the summer. The sand was dotted with broken shells and seaweed. Eventually, the dunes gave way to rocky bluffs, a dark wall lit by the half-moon.

Alec stopped at the rotted, broken steps of the empty house. Two stories up, the mini-mansion stood dark. He could write a book about the look of the place alone.

“You could buy it.”

He looked at Jake. “I could ride a purple unicorn over the ocean, too.”

Jake crossed his arms. “You have the money. You could hire a team of carpenters to fix the place. Or level it to the ground and start over. The point is, you could.”

Alec rubbed the back of his neck. He’d never tear the house down. It had character, and in this day and age of cookie cutters, that said something. The roof had an A frame–like slant, the exterior a log cabin feel. There was an upper and lower deck for each story, and the entire eastern face was windows. He remembered from when his dad did the landscaping that it had four bedrooms and two baths. The living room was a wide-open floor plan with ceiling beams and a redbrick fireplace. There was a small office of sorts, off the den. The kitchen had needed help, even back then, but it was roomy. Let in a lot of light.

What the hell did it matter? This was just Jake, getting ideas in his head again.

He did an about-face and started walking back the way they came. A topic shift was in order or his brother would be relentless. “Your wedding is two weeks away. Are you getting nervous?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Alec studied his brother as they walked. “You really love her. Good. I’m glad for you.”

Jake sighed and tilted his head toward the stars. “The first time I saw her, after all those years, she stole the wind right out of me. She was just as pretty as she was back then, but she’d finally grown into her smile.” He glanced down at his feet. “I didn’t think she’d give me the time of day. But she and Cole were always nice to us, nothing like their mother. Dean too, rest his soul.”

They stopped by the stairs of his guesthouse.

Jake glanced at the house, down the beach. “Who’d have thought it, big brother? That one day we’d be a part of their world. Now you’re as rich as them.”

Alec wanted to say that the money didn’t matter, but Jake knew that. It was about finding his particular brand of happy. And Jake had. “Will Lacey be upset if I steal you away for a bachelor party this Friday?”

Jake grinned. “Naw. They’re doing some girly thing at Mia’s that night. I’ll call Cole, have him meet us here.”

Alec nodded and turned toward the stairs. He needed to get out of these damp clothes.

“Alec.”

He turned.

“About what you said at Mom and Dad’s . . .”

He gripped the railing until it hurt. “Yeah?”

Jake took a step closer. “I’ve been waiting almost ten years for you to say that, and I’m relieved you did. No, just hear me out,” he insisted when Alec opened his mouth. “None of what went down was on you. What you did in the aftermath, it was honorable. But you need to ask yourself where you’d be if she hadn’t wrecked that car.” He stared at his feet before glancing up again. “Would you still be together? Would you even still be living in New York?”

Alec ran a hand down his face. Shook his head.

Jake was right. So right. But the fact remained, she did crash the car, after storming out on one of their fights, and he didn’t stop her. In his head, he knew the blame wasn’t his. He got that now. Yet his heart wouldn’t read the memo. Laura couldn’t tell him what she wanted anymore.

Jake’s shoulders slumped. “It doesn’t matter, does it? You’re still going back.”