Текст книги "All of Me"

Автор книги: Kelly Moran

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

chapter

eleven

The seafood restaurant he’d found was nestled right on the tourist strip, close enough to the beach to smell the ocean. To avoid being crowded, he’d asked for a corner table out on the back deck. Faith hadn’t said much on the drive over or after they were seated. Oddly enough, the lack of conversation wasn’t tense. It was a comfortable silence he wasn’t used to. People tended to attempt to fill the quiet, as if something were wrong with just being.

He glanced at her over the menu, but her attention was on the people in the distance. Her plain white sundress hugged her chest and hips, flaring out in a skirt that stopped at her knees. She’d put her hair up in a loose knot and applied a minimal amount of makeup. Or Lacey had applied it for her, since his future sister-in-law had been at the guesthouse when he’d arrived to pick up Faith.

Whatever the subtle difference was, it made her eyes stand out. They took up most of her face as it was. The dusk was doing something to her skin, which appeared even softer than usual. Her freckles were barely noticeable. Around her long, elegant neck was a chain, the one she never took off. The low dip of her dress allowed him to see the charm. Little silver wings. Just wings. Interesting.

When she smiled at a family with a couple of toddlers, he wondered how he’d ever thought her plain.

The waiter came and asked for a drink order.

“I haven’t even looked at the menu,” she said. “I’m sorry. Just water for me, please.”

“Do you drink wine?” He felt blind not knowing anything about her past or if she had any limitations from her medical condition.

“I could. I don’t know anything about wine, though.”

Okay, this he could handle. He gave the request for a sauvignon blanc from a California vineyard he recognized and waited until the waiter left before addressing her. She hadn’t wanted to talk about her past before, but they knew each other a little better now. He had the suspicion he’d need to tread carefully with Faith. Whatever led her to Wilmington didn’t appear to be altogether pleasant.

He glanced at the pendant. “Why the wings?”

Her gaze dropped, and with a reflex he’d seen often, she clutched the pendant and slid it back and forth on the chain. “I saw it in a jewelry store and it reminded me of my sister.”

The sister he wasn’t supposed to know about because Faith never mentioned her. Yet he’d seen the photo Lacey took. Saying something might ruin Lacey’s surprise painting or break Faith’s trust. “I thought you were an only child.”

Her small hand released the necklace as she looked away, smoothing her napkin over her lap. “She died several years ago from cancer.”

Platitudes never made the grieving feel better, so he didn’t offer one. “What was her name?”

“Hope.”

“Faith and Hope. That’s cute.” Finally, her honey gaze returned to his, and the sorrow etched in her eyes was gutting. “Was she younger or older?”

“She was older by three and a half years.”

“Does this bother you? Talking about her?”

She appeared to mull that over for several moments, eventually shaking her head. The waiter arrived with their wine and they ordered their meal. Alec hoped the interruption wouldn’t break their conversation. Though hesitant, she was finally answering questions.

Alone once more, he asked, “What kind of cancer did she have?”

She cleared her throat. “A rare form of leukemia called myelogenous. It affects the white blood cells in bone marrow. Survival rates aren’t high with that kind of cancer. She was diagnosed at age two, but lived until she was twenty, and it was a blessing to have her that long, considering. There were periods where she didn’t require treatment, and we thought . . .” Her lids lowered in a slow blink.

His hand settled over hers on the table. “I’m sorry. We can talk about something else.”

“No, it’s fine.” Her gaze held his and she offered a weak smile. “Honestly, I don’t get to talk about Hope very often.”

“Why not?”

She stared down at their joined hands, where he rubbed small circles over the soft skin of her inner wrist. “My parents took her death very hard.”

Were there no friends? Other family? Certainly she had other people in her life. Then again, no one had dropped by since she’d moved, nor had she left to visit anyone.

“I’m not terribly close with my parents. Around the time Hope died, I went to college nearby, but didn’t live in the dorms. After I graduated, I stayed at home, thinking they needed me.”

He felt a but in there somewhere. What kind of parents didn’t want their kid around? Especially after losing another so young. No way was Faith a problem child or a black sheep. If anything, she was the over-accommodating type. “Tell me about your sister. What was she like?”

The smile that split her face was genuine and hit him right in the center of his chest.

Removing her hand from his, she rested her chin in her palm and stared over his shoulder. “Everyone loved Hope. She was the life of any get-together. She was always smiling, making friends. It was hard not to love her. Even when she was sick, she’d find the strength to ask me about school or what happened in my day.” She sighed. “I miss that most. Someone asking how my day went.”

A hollow pang smacked his ribs and he stilled. Did she have no one? At all? He thought back to their scattered conversations and came up blank. No mention of anyone. Her sometimes socially awkward behavior and the shock whenever someone included her was starting to make sense. Faith wasn’t particularly shy or reserved or traditional. She wasn’t uncomfortable with attention. She’d just never had any. She sought acceptance.

Dear Christ. What the hell was he supposed to do with her? With this knowledge?

“How was your day?” he rasped.

Slowly, her gaze slid over to his, and damn if the sentiment in her eyes didn’t undo him. “It was pretty great, actually. Thank you.”

He nodded. Swallowed hard.

They sat in silence until the waiter brought their food. She ordered grilled salmon and steamed vegetables over brown rice. He looked down at his crab cakes and asparagus spears drowning in sauce.

She took a bite of her fish. “What about you? You don’t seem close with your parents, based on what you said the other day.”

“I’m very close with my mother and Jake. Dad’s just . . .” He fumbled for the right word. “Weird, I guess. I get the feeling he’s disappointed in me. Regardless, I love them to death.”

The fork paused halfway to her mouth. “After all your success? I find it hard to believe he’s disappointed.”

He shrugged. “I made a lot of bad choices along the way. He built his landscaping business from nothing. Blue collar through and through. I don’t think he knew what to do with me, being the creative type.”

She pushed the food around her plate, avoiding eye contact. Once again, he was floored by her lack of inquisition. She didn’t ask, though he could tell she wanted to. For the first time in . . . well, ever, he wanted to talk. To have someone know what his life entailed and share his mistakes. Someone like Faith would understand, not judge.

“I can hear your unasked questions from over here.”

Her eyes smiled even though her mouth didn’t. “I wasn’t going to ask you anything. I was just thinking that you’re human. People make bad decisions all the time.”

Maybe she did get it, more than he would’ve guessed. “Why aren’t you asking me what mistakes I made?”

Her tongue darted out to moisten her lower lip. She took a sip of wine before answering, choosing her words carefully. “A few days ago, you said you couldn’t do commitment. I’m assuming that hasn’t changed.” Her eyes lifted to his. “I figure you’ll tell me when and if you’re ready.”

“That’s it?”

She nodded, closed her eyes, then shook her head. “What are we doing here, Alec?”

“Eating. Some of us more than others.” He nodded to her plate, of which she had yet to take more than a few bites.

“Kissing me was a mistake. Your words, not mine.”

He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table and crowding her. “I make my living by words, Faith. I repeat, it wasn’t a mistake. I said kissing you made me feel like shit. Because of those choices mentioned earlier. But for the life of me, I can’t seem to stay away from you. Regardless of how bad an idea this is, and regardless of why I know I can’t.”

She drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I’m going to tell you something, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way. I don’t want you to read too much into it or ask any questions.”

Her pleading gaze pinned him to his seat. Right then, he would’ve done whatever she asked. “I promise.”

“I’ve spent the majority of my life feeling unwanted. I made a promise to myself when I moved here that I would start over. If you can’t or won’t be honest with what you want, you should leave me alone. I’m out of my element as it is, Alec.”

What the hell was he supposed to say to that? The air in his lungs thinned as he stared at her, making breathing difficult. A thousand questions and arguments rolled through his head, but a promise was a promise. The blatant urge to protect her, to slay her dragons and lay claim, rose again. What kind of fucking monster had made her think she wasn’t wanted?

He should leave her alone, like she asked.

“Considering I’m a writer, you leave me strangely bereft of words.”

The waiter came and cleared their plates. They refused dessert. Alec paid the tab and offered her a walk down the tourist strip, more for his sake than hers—he needed to clear his head. She nodded her approval. They’d been walking for twenty minutes past the independent storefronts when she finally addressed him.

“Do you find me attractive?”

He stopped and turned to face her. This had to be a trick question. Some female ploy they all knew to confound men. “Yes.”

Even though it was dark, he could see the pink tingeing her cheeks. “And it’s not just because I’m helping you through your writer’s block?”

That was asinine. For her benefit, he thought it through. “No.”

She continued the walk as if she’d never spoken. He let her go a few steps before his brain caught up.

“Hold up.” Gently, he grabbed her wrist and tugged her flush against an ice-cream parlor to get out of the way of tourists. “What game are you playing?” Christ, she smelled better than the shop behind them.

“I don’t play games. I needed to know if your attraction had anything to do with me or if it was based on gratitude.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “They just don’t make them like you.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He opened his eyes and forced his gaze off her mouth and on her eyes. “Why did you need to know?”

She drew a breath, and the action caused her breasts to brush his chest. “I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I don’t know if I’m even capable. You’re guarded and hesitant to enter one. Let’s just see where this thing goes. No pressure. No guilt.”

Just when he thought she couldn’t throw him any more surprises, she blindsided him with a left hook. “You don’t seem the type for flings or one-night stands, Faith.” And really, that’s all he could offer.

“What about a summer romance? You’re going back to New York. I’m staying here. The relationship has an end date. You get your out clause and I get my adventure.”

“Adventure.” Is that what she wanted? Could it be as easy as that? It didn’t feel right. Deep in his gut, he knew Faith didn’t take relationships of any kind lightly.

Still, he wanted her.

“Fine,” he said with a nod. “Come on. I should get you home.”

Before his car turned back into a pumpkin.

chapter

twelve

Faith rested her cheek against the cool glass of Alec’s passenger window. The wine from dinner had gotten to her. Having infrequently indulged in alcohol, she hadn’t really known what effect it would have. Her body was hot, her skin tingling. She wasn’t sure if she should attribute that to Alec or the wine. It had also loosened her tongue. She’d been more outgoing and outspoken than ever before.

A summer fling. Lord. As if she could handle Alec Winston, even for just one summer.

Yet she wanted a life, wanted more than to just exist. What better way to start than jumping in headfirst with him? He could teach her things. She wouldn’t have to worry about making her world fit with his or all the complications, because he’d be leaving. They were temporary.

It had also felt good to talk about Hope with someone. Though the loss of her sister still cut deep, she wanted others to know how wonderful and strong she was, how lucky Faith had been to have her. Not talking about Hope seemed like forgetting she was ever here. And that would be a shame.

Alec pulled the car through the front gate and veered to the left to park in front of her guesthouse. The lights in the main house were off, even though it was barely nine. Lacey and Jake said they’d crash with Ginny for the night so Faith could stay out late if she wanted.

The dome light filled the dark car when Alec opened the door. Oh boy. Would he kiss her on the doorstep? Did guys still do that? He strode around the hood and to her side before she had her seat belt off. Taking his offered hand, she got out and walked with him to the door.

Now what? She waited, her gaze glued to his chest.

“Invite me in.” His voice was a hoarse rumble that made her muscles clench. It wasn’t a demand, but a gentle request.

She nodded and opened the door.

He followed her inside, glancing around after she flipped on a lamp. His gaze traveled over the picture of her and Hope on the mantel before moving on to the bookshelves beside the fireplace. “I thought you said you never read my books.”

Shadows cut across his body and half his face, making him look dangerously handsome. His black hair seemed darker somehow, and she wanted to run her fingertips over the slight outgrowth on his jaw. He wore a white button-down dress shirt untucked from his jeans, which fit him well enough to tease at the glorious body that lay underneath. It had been a long time, if ever, that she felt this turned on or attracted to a man. Even the way he stood, hands in his back pockets and one foot off to the side in a careless whatever pose, was attractive.

His gray-blue eyes leveled on her when she didn’t answer.

She set her purse on the coffee table to give herself something to do. “No, I said I’ve never seen any of the movies based off your books.”

He glanced at the shelves again. “Pretty extensive variety of fiction here. Fantasy, romance, cozy mysteries . . .”

“Horror’s my favorite, or really dark suspense.”

A corner of his mouth quirked and she had to swallow a moan. “Why’s that?”

She shrugged. “Reading them makes the problems in the real world seem weak by comparison.”

He breathed out a laugh. The muscles in his shoulders tensed, as if straining. “And why haven’t you seen any of my movies?”

What was with all the questions? “They never get it right. Movies ruin books . . .”

She didn’t have time to finish her thought because he jerked his hands out of his back pockets, strode the few steps separating them, and crushed his mouth over hers.

His hands grabbed her waist, pulling her flush against his hard body as he angled his head and deepened the kiss. His tongue slipped past her lips and tasted, stroked until she had an idea of what he’d be like in bed. The rhythm and pace he’d set. The talent he’d bring. God, she so didn’t think she could handle him.

Regardless, he felt too good to let go. Her fingers drove into his thick, wavy hair like she’d been wanting to do since she’d first laid eyes on him. The move seemed to spark some kind of animal instinct in him because his fingers slid from her waist to her hips and dug into her flesh. He moaned, rocked against her so she could feel the long, hard strain of his erection against her belly.

Breaking the kiss, his lips traveled from her mouth to her ear. “We need to slow down.”

Lack of experience be darned, she was ready to strip off her dress. “I’m not a virgin,” she whispered, and immediately regretted the slip. Her face heated and embarrassment made her head heavy. She pinched her eyes closed.

Edging back, he looked down at her. “I didn’t ask.”

“I figured you might think . . . with the information I gave you . . .”

The pad of his thumb pressed over her lower lip and he smiled, his gaze focused there. Moving his thumb across her lip, his eyes darkened, his lids closing to half-mast. “We should still take this slow. I’m going home to cool off.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, gently this time. “I still owe you that knock-you-off-your-feet kiss.”

“That wasn’t it?”

He grinned, and she had to lock her knees to stay upright. “You’re still standing, so no, that wasn’t it.” He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, brushing his nose to hers. Groaning, he pulled away. “Next time, Faith.”

When the door closed behind him, she sank to the floor and patted her chest, not recognizing the crazy sensations whirling inside. She pressing a hand to her forehead and laughed like an idiot. It took her too long to realize the feeling was . . . happiness.

*   *   *

Faith was dusting lemon bars with powdered sugar and checking Ginny’s progress on adding sprinkles to the cupcakes when Lacey strolled in the kitchen door.

“Who’s ready for the best sleepover ever?”

“I am, I am,” Ginny chanted.

Faith laughed. “We definitely have enough sugar to keep us up all night.”

“My party, my menu,” Ginny said.

Lacey kissed her cheek. “You are so right, Ginny girl.” She glanced around the kitchen. “I brought margarita mix. Do they have a blender?”

“Above the fridge.” Faith moved to the sink to wash her hands. “I’m a lightweight with regards to alcohol, as it turns out.”

“Oh,” Lacey drawled. “Did we get a little tipsy on our date last night?” She set the blender on the island and plugged it in.

“You had a date?” Ginny was awed.

Lacey filled the blender with ice. “She sure did. With guess who? Alec.”

“You did?” Ginny said, clapping her hands. “Is he a good kisser?”

“Oh boy. Mia’s gonna kill me.”

Lacey waved her hand, dumping margarita mix into the blender with the other and switching it on. Noise clattered as the ice crushed. “Mia won’t care if we talk about boys,” she shouted. “That’s what sleepovers are for!”

Faith wouldn’t know. She’d never been to one.

Lacey poured a virgin margarita into a cup and handed it to Ginny. Then she poured a generous finger—or five—of tequila into the blender. “Think that’s enough?”

Faith laughed. “Uh, yes.”

Lacey added more mix and ice. She switched the blender on again and shouted over the noise. “So, is Alec a good kisser or not?”

Faith pressed her lips together, unable to hide the giddy smile. “Yes.”

Lacey’s brows rose, pretending not to have heard. “What?”

“Yes, he’s a good—”

The blender stopped.

“—kisser.” Faith rubbed her forehead. “You tricked me into screaming that. Is he right outside the door or something?”

Lacey poured two drinks. “Nope. Just us girls. And great kisses are worth shouting about.” She handed Faith a cup and clacked her own cup against it. “To the best sleepover ever!”

“Yeah!”

Faith smiled at Ginny and took a sip. The drink, despite being blended with ice, burned all the way down. “Wow, Lacey.”

“It is a little strong.” Her pretty mouth twisted. “I’ve never made margaritas before. Never been to a sleepover either.”

“You haven’t?” Ginny asked.

“My mom was pretty snobby. Thought we were above things like that. It wasn’t proper.”

Faith connected with Lacey in that minute, a bond of sorts forming. “I haven’t been to a sleepover either. My sister was the one with all the friends growing up. I never got invited to any parties.”

“Well,” Lacey said, tilting her head. “Guess it’s a first for us then. It really is the best sleepover ever. Cole has a ton of movies in his collection for us to choose from. Plus, I brought my cosmetics bag. We can do makeovers.”

Oh boy.

Ginny bounced and clapped. “Me first.”

“You got it.”

They settled on the living room floor with blankets and pillows. High School Musical—Ginny’s choice—played on the huge flat screen while they stuffed their faces with cupcakes and lemon bars and popcorn.

Faith had never had such an overdose of sugar in her life. She was always so careful what she ate that she decided she was going to let herself go just for tonight. She was young and healthy and it was silly to be so overcautious just because her parents were. Her parents had good reasons, with Hope’s illness and needing a lot from Faith to keep her treatments going, but Hope had been dead ten years now. It was probably time to let her go. It didn’t mean Faith had to forget her, right? Just move on.

The movie ended at the same time Faith’s margarita cup emptied. Huh. When did that happen? She was feeling a little light-headed.

Lacey pulled out a bagful of cosmetics and got to work on Ginny’s makeover. While they were busy, Faith cleaned up some of the wrappers and changed movies. Deciding she’d had enough tequila, she brought out bottled water from the fridge for everyone.

“So,” Lacey said, applying lipstick on Ginny. “Mia loves Cole. I love Jake. Is there romance brewing for Faith and Alec? Whatcha think, Ginny?”

“Yeah!”

Faith tucked her feet under her and sat on the couch. “It’s pretty new, guys. Besides, Alec lives in New York. I think it’s just going to be a summer thing.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Not much choice.” She shrugged. “It is what it is. May as well enjoy it while he’s here.”

It had taken all her courage to reach out and ask for what she wanted from Alec. She had no idea how to go about fully living. She’d simply seized the opportunity. Later, she’d probably think it was insane, but for now, he made her heart pound and her body want. Her response to him every time he was near reminded her she was alive.

Lacey nodded. “I see your point. I don’t know if I could do that, though. I get attached—at least I do when I’m interested. I think I knew I loved Jake after our first date.”

“Did he kiss you?” Ginny asked.

“Yes. He’s a really great kisser.” She brushed her hands together. “You, my dear, are done. You look beautiful.”

“I do?”

Faith nodded. Lacey hadn’t done much, just a hint of blush, gloss, and shadow, like she’d done for Faith last night for her date with Alec. “You do look very pretty.”

“I’m going to go see.” Ginny ran off down the hall to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry about Alec. I didn’t realize it wasn’t serious.”

Faith smiled. “It’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it. It’s just . . . I’ve never had close girlfriends before. Been a long time since a guy was interested, too. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

From her spot on the floor, Lacey propped her elbow on the cushion and tugged on her earlobe. “Before Mia came back to Wilmington, I didn’t have anyone. I was on committees and in clubs, but no one I could talk to like this, you know?”

Faith nodded. “I know. Not the committees part, but alone I understand.”

Ginny came back in the room. Lacey took some pictures on her phone and texted them to Mia. They gathered for a group selfie before getting comfy to watch Grease. Ginny fell asleep halfway through the movie, so Faith went to brush her teeth and made sure the alarm was set before turning off the lamps. Propping her head on a pillow, she tuned back into the movie.

Lacey brought her blanket and pillow up on the couch and lay down on the other side. “Can I ask you something?”

Faith turned down the volume. “Sure.”

“When my brother Dean died in that car crash, it was so sudden. One day he was here, the next he was gone. With your sister being sick for so long, was it better to have the chance to say good-bye?”

Wow. Faith had never thought of it like that. She envisioned Hope healthy and young and suddenly being taken from her. “I suppose, in a way, it was easier. We knew the end was looming and we got to say good-bye, but watching her slowly fade, getting sicker and sicker, was awful. I can’t imagine not having the opportunity to tell her one last time how much I loved her. How did you deal with losing Dean?”

Lacey blew out a breath. “I guess I didn’t. Cole held me that day and stuck by my side through the funeral, but he blamed himself for Dean’s accident and went on a downward spiral for ten years. Until Mia came back, anyway.”

Faith had read Cole’s memoir and knew much of this story already. Connecting these people with the characters in the book was strangely eye-opening.

“Faith?”

She turned her head to better see Lacey.

“Will you be one of my bridesmaids?”

Faith stilled. Lacey held her gaze in the dark. Only the flickers of light from the movie illuminated her face. Faith didn’t see any signs of teasing, but then again, she’d always been naive. “Really?”

“Really. In the few weeks you’ve been here, I’ve grown closer to you than most people I’ve known all my life.”

A lump formed in Faith’s throat and hot tears pressed behind her lids. This is what it felt like to have friends. Bittersweet and comforting and complete. How did she go on this long without them?

“I would be honored.”