Текст книги "All of Me"

Автор книги: Kelly Moran

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

chapter

thirteen

A week later, a tan Mia and Cole had returned from their honeymoon, glowing and happy. Faith was glad to have them back. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed her private time with Ginny, but with everything happening as of late, she hadn’t had much time to herself.

Everything was all so new and a bit overwhelming. She wasn’t used to friends and attention. It took some time to adjust to these changes in her life. Add in her developing relationship with Alec, and her head was reeling.

She and Lacey had spent a lot of time together the past two weeks, talking about everything from centerpieces for the wedding to childhood memories. Lacey had even dragged her and Ginny to the salon for a haircut and pampering. Unlike her parents, Lacey and Alec didn’t mind her talking about Hope. In fact, Lacey often brought up her own brother Dean and her bittersweet memories of him. It was oddly comforting to have someone with whom she shared such a deep loss, someone who understood the pain.

Alec had divided his time between writing and popping by the house—usually around midday—to see what was happening with her. But he hadn’t made any romantic gestures or attempted to touch her since their date. It left a hollow sensation inside her chest. They hadn’t even been dating a week and it felt like he was distancing himself. Then again, Ginny was always around and there wasn’t much time to be alone.

Faith sipped her chamomile tea and stared out the window. She’d been attempting to settle down and sleep for two hours to no avail. Restless energy crawled under her skin, made her twitch. She needed to shake the uncomfortable feeling, so she paced in the dim kitchen and tried to clear her mind. Closing her eyes, she breathed deep and counted to ten.

The feeling was still there. Shaking her head, she set the tea on the counter and made her way outside. She walked past the deck and the dunes just beyond it, and settled near the shore, squishing her toes in the sand. Letting the roar of the ocean surround her, she breathed in the humid saltwater scent and smiled.

This was what she needed. She was afraid to leave Ginny after the girl fell asleep, so while Mia and Cole had been away she hadn’t walked down to the beach at night—a ritual she’d grown fond of since arriving in Wilmington. Faith wondered how she’d gotten by her entire life without the ocean. The tension and uncertainty drained from her body, leaving peace in its place.

Inside her pajama pants pocket, her cell vibrated. Heart pounding, she struggled to pull it out. She’d called her parents again after dinner tonight, when she knew they’d be home, but the machine kicked in. Every day she called. They’d called back a few times, but the conversations had been forced and stilted.

“Hi, it’s Mom. You called?”

Relief spilled into her body. “I was just missing you. I wanted to catch up.”

A lengthy silence followed until her mother cleared her throat. “The choir is working on some new hymns. We may try them out in the fall.”

That wasn’t exactly what Faith had had in mind, but she’d take it. “That sounds fun. I’m on the beach staring at the ocean.” Faith bit her lip, wondering if she should just say what was on her mind. “I keep thinking . . .” She blew out a breath. “I think Hope would’ve loved it here. It’s so pretty and peaceful. The pelicans come by every morning and evening. They—”

“Listen, Faith. It’s late, don’t you think? You should head to bed. Sleep is important.”

“Right. You’re right,” she whispered, blinking rapidly. “Have a good night. I’ll call again soon.”

“Good night.”

Hot tears burned behind her lids as she ended the call. She had a great job, a lovely place to live, friends, and a boyfriend even, but she would trade all that in for one real conversation with her parents. Any attempt to breach the miles and really connect. For them to show a sign that they truly missed her or wondered how she was doing. She’d wasted most of her childhood wishing for that.

Frustration and grief rose inside. She fisted the phone and stared at it. “Why won’t you talk to me?” she ground out.

“Why won’t who talk to you?”

She jumped and spun to face Alec. “Oh. I didn’t see you there.”

“Deep in thought again?” His smile fell as he walked closer, the moon illuminating his handsome face. “You’ve been crying.”

Darn it. She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand and forced a smile. “What brings you out so late?”

“I was writing and saw you when I took a break. Don’t avoid the question. Does this person not talking to you have anything to do with why you’re crying?”

She breathed out a sigh. “Maybe.” Turning to face the water, she forced herself to calm down. “My mom just returned my call from earlier.”

He stepped closer to stand at her side. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. No.” She rubbed her forehead, attempting to clarify. “They won’t talk to me.”

“Did you get in a fight?”

If only. Lord, that brought a fresh wave of tears. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat before answering. “You told me that your dad was always teasing you, that you couldn’t be in the same room without butting heads. I have the opposite problem. I’d give anything to have my parents mad at me.”

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and rocked back on the heels of his bare feet. “That statement requires explanation.”

She put the phone back in her pocket and crossed her arms, still facing the ocean. The thought of looking at him was unbearable. How does one explain that her own parents didn’t want her and never had? “Your dad acts the way he does because he cares. It might not seem that way, but he wouldn’t bother if he didn’t love you.” Might as well get it all out. She hoped saying the rest didn’t make her sound pitiful. “My parents don’t bother.”

He stilled when she didn’t say any more. After a few heartbeats, he moved to stand in front of her and dipped his head to look into her eyes. “Are you telling me your parents don’t give a shit, Faith? I doubt that, very much.”

The rough timbre of his voice caused her to shiver. His gray-blue eyes held her gaze and waited. She hesitated to offer more, but then decided it didn’t matter. After this summer he’d go back to New York and forget all about her. What did she care if he knew? Except he might change his mind about their arrangement and walk away now. Might see just how pathetic she really was and think her too much of a head case.

“Faith?”

For courage, she glanced over his shoulder at the ocean for a few beats before looking into his eyes. “My sister was diagnosed with her illness before I was born. The type of cancer she had caused swelling and tissue damage, primarily on the left side of her body, though in some cases the right can be affected, too. It meant numerous transfusions and possibly even organ transplants down the road. My parents weren’t a close enough match to Hope’s blood type.”

Again, Alec stilled. Realization slowly dawned in his eyes. The muscle in his jaw clenched. “You’re trying to say that—”

“I was conceived for the sole purpose of being Hope’s donor. Siblings are often the best match. I was her replacement parts, except I failed, and she died anyway.”

His jaw dropped. He backed up two steps and stopped. “Jesus.” His hand raked through his thick black hair. “Jesus,” he said again. “I don’t know where to start with something like that, Faith.”

Not understanding his reaction, she stared at him.

He paced away and came back. “Your sister getting sick may have been what brought you into the world, but you’re not anyone’s replacement parts. Your parents—”

“Don’t have a bond with me.” Sensing where this conversation was headed, she lifted her hand to stop him. “They never have. We talk, but we never say anything. Not of substance.”

His hands dropped to his sides. “That’s your guilt talking. And you have nothing to feel guilty about. It wasn’t up to you to save her. Christ, you were just a little girl.”

This wasn’t why she’d told him. She didn’t need him to try and rationalize the behavior of the two people she’d lived her whole life trying to please. Somehow, in the last few months before moving to Wilmington, she’d realized something. You couldn’t make someone love you, even if those people were the ones who were supposed to love you most. She’d accepted it. She didn’t understand it and she hadn’t gotten over it, but she accepted it.

“It’s not guilt talking, Alec. It’s years of observation.”

He didn’t know the silence of the Armstrong house after Hope died. Even before that, there had been few visitors in Faith’s hospital room when they’d prepped her for Hope’s procedures. All the focus was on her sister, and that’s how it should’ve been. Of course her parents were there, got her settled and situated, moved from room to room when need be, but Hope was the sick one.

She closed her eyes briefly and drew in a lungful of air before opening them again. Alec had stopped pacing and was glaring at her with his arms crossed, feet evenly spaced apart as if bracing for an epic battle. “You’re angry.”

His head reared back and confusion marred his brow. “I guess I am.”

Of all the reactions she’d been expecting, anger wasn’t it. Revulsion. Pity. Shock, perhaps. Those emotions were normal. But anger just made no sense. What did he have to be angry about?

She didn’t know how to do this, to be in a relationship. Even a temporary one like theirs. She knew nothing about friendship or conversation or how to be around people. All she knew was how to connect with disabled kids and teach. This was a mistake, thinking she could be with someone like Alec.

“I can’t tell what you’re thinking,” he said. “You have that look on your face, like you’ve shut down on me, and I can’t tell what you’re thinking.”

A heavy weight settled behind her ribs as she took a step back. “I’m sorry I upset you. Good night.”

His heated gaze lifted from her mouth to her eyes. “Where are you going?”

She pointed. “Back to the house. It’s late.”

“Late,” he mumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose. He ground out a few choice expletives. “Stay out here for a few minutes, would you? Finish the conversation.”

Faith was finished. Any more and she’d start weeping again. “Good night, Alec.”

*   *   *

Alec hung up the phone after a lengthy discussion with his editor and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He’d told the publisher to give him two months and he’d turn in the book. He was a little more than halfway through writing the first draft. If he buckled down, he could make that deadline. All things considered, they were pretty understanding about the whole thing.

This morning, Alec had given Cole the first fifty pages of a partial to see if Cole could represent him. At this stage in his career, his agent did little more than act as a buffer for contracts, but Alec didn’t want Cole to represent him out of obligation. He wanted to make sure Cole wanted to do it, not that he had to. Alec could call up any agency right now and have his pick of agents. That wasn’t the point. He wanted someone he could trust, not someone who was in it for the money.

Alec took his beer out onto the front porch and dropped into a chair, thinking about the book launch party in New York next weekend. He’d totally forgotten about it. The last book in his series was coming out next month, and his publicist, in conjunction with the publisher, was hosting the meet and greet. It was an obligation, one he didn’t want to fulfill, but he’d suffer through. After all, it was only one night.

A two-month deadline would whoosh by if he kept at this pace. After Faith’s little bomb on the beach last night, he’d spent his time wearing down the floorboards instead of writing. He hadn’t slept. Barely even shoved food down.

A car door slammed and Alec looked up to find Jake returning from work. Jake walked toward the main house until he glanced over and saw Alec outside. He changed directions and headed his way.

“You want a beer?”

“Naw.” Jake sat down in a chair beside Alec. “Taking a break from writing?”

“Something like that.”

“Uh-oh. You were doing great yesterday. What happened?”

Alec tipped the bottle back and swallowed. “Women, that’s what happened.”

Jake laughed in his easy, languid style. “Already? You and Faith just started seeing each other.”

Alec shouldn’t have mentioned it to Jake, but he needed a sounding board, and very few people knew the whole story of Laura and where he was coming from. Alec stood and walked to lean a hip against the railing.

Alec sighed. “Faith told me . . . something serious last night. Then afterward, she said she was heading to bed. Just like that. I asked her—actually begged her—to stay and talk about it. Nope. She said good night and left me standing there. When was the last time you saw me wanting to get into a heart-to-heart with a woman? Never.”

Rant over, he took a swig of beer and looked at his brother over the bottle. “What are you grinning at?”

Jake shrugged. “You’re falling for her.”

Maybe a little bit. Or all the way.

Hell. Screw that. “I tell you she’s messing with my head and you laugh.”

“Sorry.” Jake looked anything but sorry with his grin still plastered in place. “Is this thing she told you something you can share?”

Alec thought that over and decided it wasn’t a national secret. Jake wouldn’t repeat it anyway. “She told me her parents conceived her to be a donor for her sister.”

There went the grin. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Alec sat back down and drained his beer. “A lot of things are starting to make sense now. She’s always surprised when I come to see her as if there’s an alternate motive behind my visit, and she tries like hell to be invisible.” He leaned forward and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Jesus, Jake. I think her folks just fucking ignored her. What kind of people do that?”

“She told you all of that?”

“No.” Alec repeated what Faith had told him to the best of his recollection.

“Sounds like you two are perfect for each other. She’s as screwed up as you are, big brother.”

Alec narrowed his eyes. “This thing with Faith is just temporary. There is no perfect when it comes to us. I go back to the city after your wedding, remember?”

Jake studied him with measured intensity. “Does she know that?”

“It was her idea.”

Jake opened his mouth as if he wanted to say more, but shook his head instead and rose from his seat. He walked to the steps and turned. “Tell her about Laura. She deserves to know.”

Alec stared out at the yard, barren and waiting to be landscaped, until night fell and the mosquitoes started biting.

chapter

fourteen

What had started out as an impromptu powwow about Lacey’s wedding had evolved into drinking wine in Adirondack chairs on the beach and laughing themselves silly. Faith leaned back in her chair and sighed into the night. This was perfect. Together with two new friends, a good Chianti—not that she would know if it were a bad one—and laughter. Her stomach hurt from the hysterics, but it was a good ache.

A gentle, moist breeze blew in off the ocean, bringing the scent of salt and brine. The seagulls had grown quiet. The only sound was her friends’ fading laughter and the crush of waves on the beach.

Faith’s phone vibrated in her pocket as she took another sip of wine. She quickly pulled it out and stared at the screen, both excited and frustrated to see the text was from Alec. Excited because she hadn’t heard from him since her admission on the beach a few nights ago, and frustrated because the message wasn’t from her parents.

I want to see you tonight.

That was it. Nothing else. Was he going to make it official and end things? Without the knock-her-off-her-feet kiss he had promised?

“You look disappointed,” Mia said.

Faith glanced up to find both Mia and Lacey staring at her. “Alec texted that he wants to see me tonight.”

“Why is that disappointing?” Mia asked, her soft voice barely registering over the waves.

Faith wanted to talk to them, the way normal friends did with each other. Share both joy and troubles. But opening up to people was hard for her, especially after the way Alec had reacted when she’d taken a chance with him.

“I think he might break up with me.” It shouldn’t hurt so much. They’d barely gotten off the ground. Yet she liked him. A lot. His humor was dry and sarcastic, his mind sharp. Their conversations never lagged. And then there was the kissing . . .

“Why do you say that?” Lacey wanted to know, sitting forward in her chair to pat Faith’s knee. The touch didn’t create anything like the heat Alec instilled, but it was comforting.

“A few nights ago he found me on the beach. We talked for a while and I told him a few things about my family. He was pretty angry after, so I went back to the guesthouse. This is the first I’ve heard from him since then.”

Mia and Lacey shared a look before Lacey spoke. “None of us are strangers to family issues. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Faith chewed over the idea of whether to confide in them, and decided to go for broke. Maybe the girls would understand better than Alec. She gave them a version of what she’d told Alec and then took a sip of wine to cool her throat.

“The thing is,” Faith said, “it never bothered me how detached my parents were until I came here. Well, it bothered me a little. Honestly, I don’t think I even noticed how bad it was until I met you guys.” She looked at both women, who stared at her intently. “I shouldn’t have told Alec.”

Mia shook her head. “I’m glad you did. Even if you guys aren’t in a serious relationship, you should be honest.”

“He was so angry, though.”

“Of course he was,” Lacey said. “I’m angry. That’s a terrible thing to do to a child.”

It never crossed Faith’s mind that Alec’s anger might be directed at her parents. She thought he was mad at her for saying too much or perhaps feeling sorry for herself. Maybe he wasn’t going to end things. Was it too much to hope for that he just wanted to see her? Her heart rate accelerated at the thought.

“My mama was the same way with Ginny.” Mia set her wine aside and straightened. “She just never formed a bond with her. I tried to make up for it, but I think Ginny knew.”

“Ginny had you,” Lacey said before returning her gaze to Faith. “Who did you have?”

Faith tried to rub away the pressure in her chest, but it didn’t work. “I had Hope. Every treatment and surgery was worth it to have her as long as I did.” They didn’t look convinced. “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I just wish my parents felt something toward me, too, you know?” Ashamed to find tears in her eyes, she swiped them away angrily. “It doesn’t matter. I’m here now and starting over.”

“Good for you,” Mia affirmed with a nod.

“And you have us.” Lacey reached for her hand and squeezed. After a moment, she sat back in her chair. “I always wanted friends. Real friends.”

Mia nodded. “I wanted the stability of friends. It just never happened until . . . I came home.” She looked back at the house behind them and smiled.

Home. Faith always thought of home as her parents’ house, but maybe home wasn’t there. Maybe she had yet to find it. “What do you think I should tell Alec?”

Mia shrugged. “That depends. Do you want to see him?”

Lacey laughed. “That smile on your face says yes. Do it, Faith. Have a glorious hot affair and enjoy your summer. Who knows, maybe something will come from it.”

Dangerous thinking, that. To view their relationship as anything more than two ships passing in the night would only give her a broken heart. Alec himself had said he couldn’t do more. They lived in separate states, had very different lives. No, Alec wasn’t long term. But she would enjoy her brief time with him.

She unlocked her phone and thumbed out a text.

*   *   *

The moment Faith opened the door and Alec saw her, he knew his suspicions were right on the mark. He felt differently about her than he had about anyone in a long time. More so, if he dug deep enough into his memory. She chased away the dark. And somehow, since he’d known her, his writing had grown stronger.

Yet she acted like she could take him or leave him. Faith may have seemed aloof, but he suspected that under the surface there was strength and heart. Right next to insecurity and uncertainty. In fact, she seemed like someone hell-bent on taking care of herself, but failing.

That did funny things to his chest.

She gestured him inside, but he stayed rooted to the spot, taking in the sight of her. If he’d texted any other woman and said he was coming over, they’d be wearing ten pounds of makeup, high heels, and nothing else. That wasn’t arrogance on his part, just stone-cold truth. Women wanted his money, his fame, or his body. No in-betweens or exceptions.

And then there was Faith. A haphazard ponytail left wisps of brown hair around her face. The loose cotton shorts and white tee she wore shouldn’t be sexy. The lamplight behind her hid most of her freckles, but he still wanted to kiss each one, strip her to see if she had more. And where.

“Hi,” he forced out.

“Hello. Are you going to come inside or should we talk through the doorway?”

The last thing he wanted to do was talk. He crossed the threshold and fit his lips over hers, reaching out and tugging her flush against his chest. And damn, the spark wasn’t a fluke. The same heat and need flared to life. Consumed.

Tightening his hold on her, he lifted her enough to back her away from the entry and kicked the door shut, all the while keeping his mouth fused to hers. He spun her around and pressed her back against the door, planting his palms on either side of her head. If he kept his hands off her, he could stop this before the house went up in flames. Probably.

Faith didn’t get the memo. Her fingers drove into his hair and tugged. Her tongue warred with his for dominance and he was damn tempted to let her win. Just for the hell of it. To let himself be conquered for once.

When one of her legs snaked around his hips, drawing his jean-clad erection snug against the apex of her thighs, he groaned and rested his forehead against hers. Tried to breathe. “You’re a sleeper,” he mumbled, head still somewhere in the vicinity of that kiss.

“Sleeper?” she breathed.

God, that voice of hers got to him in ways he couldn’t possibly explain. “Yeah. A sleeper. You seem all reserved and calm on the surface, lying in wait until the moment of initiation, and then you strike.”

Her amber eyes lifted to his, her dilated pupils telling him she was just as affected. “That was a compliment, right?”

He laughed and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. Smelled so good. “Yes, that was a compliment.” He’d come over here for something other than this, hadn’t he? He couldn’t seem to remember.

“So, you’re not breaking up with me?”

He ceased his nibbling on the tendon in her neck and looked at her. Just as he suspected. Insecurity shone in her eyes, not needy attention-seeking manipulation. “Why would I do that?”

She shrugged, one of her hands still fisted in his hair. “You were mad out on the beach when I talked about . . .”

As she trailed off, he stared, wondering how to put into words the emotions she’d brought out in him with her admission a few nights back. He shouldn’t care. If they were nothing more than a summer fling, he shouldn’t care.

She blinked slowly. “You wanted to know about my past. I don’t talk about it very often, mostly because no one’s asked before, but . . .”

She was killing him. “There’s no excuse for what your parents did. You should never feel bad for being put on the back burner because of someone else’s faults. You hear me, Faith?”

Her head tilted, taking in his words. “Lacey was right. You’re mad at my parents, not me.”

She talked about him with Lacey? That was a good sign that she thought about him half as much as he did her.

Her hands dropped to his chest. “I don’t . . .”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t think anyone’s been mad on my behalf before.”

Killing him dead.

He sucked in a breath and suddenly remembered why he came over. She’d never been to the beach before Mia and Cole hired her, which made it likely she hadn’t traveled at all. “Come with me to New York next Saturday.”

The back of her head hit the door when she startled. “What?”

He removed his palms from the door to cup her chin. “My publisher is throwing a release party I have to attend. It’ll just be for one night, but I can show you around the city beforehand. Have you ever been to New York?”

“No. But why do I need to go, too?”

Alec wondered if she’d ever get out of the habit of questioning the motivation behind others wanting to be in her company. “You don’t need to go. I want you to go. I’d like you there.”

“Oh.”

Again with the oh. “What do you say?”

Her gaze drifted over his shoulder as she contemplated. “Okay. As long as Mia doesn’t need me in town.”

“You don’t work weekends.” Why the hell was he trying so hard to convince her? He never brought dates to release parties.

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” she said, staring at him as if wanting to say more. She opened and closed her mouth several times before finally speaking. “If you change your mind about this thing between us, just tell me. I’d like to stay on friendly terms afterward. If you drag it out—”

“I’ll tell you.” A sour sensation formed in his gut, and he had to wonder why the thought of ending things made him sick. “I’m happy with the way things are, for now.”

She nodded and drew in a slow breath, causing her breasts to brush temptingly against his chest. “Is that why you wanted to see me? To ask about New York?”

No. “Yes. How about a walk on the beach before you go to bed?”

Bed. Christ, he wanted her in bed, beneath him, more than he cared to analyze. Some distance was needed. After nothing more than a few kisses, Faith was in his head. Practically all he thought about. Which made no sense because he’d had sex with more women than he could count, had gotten hot and heavy with them, and none of them had him this . . . enthralled.

Maybe Faith was right. Maybe this had to do with how she’d helped him write again.

Or not.

She dropped her forehead to his chest. The move brought out something deep and protective inside him. Before he could scrutinize the sensation she smiled against his chest and straightened.

“Sure. Let’s go for a walk.”

They made their way outside, where the humidity had faded after sunset and the breeze was warm. Once they were past the dunes and walking in the surf, he took her hand. The action surprised even him. He wasn’t a romantic by nature.

“Hi. I’m Alec and I like long walks on the beach.”

That got the desired reaction because she laughed. A smooth, smoky sound that slid over his skin.

“You don’t strike me as the type.”

He wasn’t usually, which just made his conversation with Jake all the more pressing. No matter why or when this ended, Faith deserved to know about his history. She’d shared a part of hers and needed to know what she was getting into, however brief a time they stayed together.

Except he didn’t have a clue how to tell her about Laura. Before meeting Faith, women were just a string of random hookups with whom he had no intention of a repeat offense. Safer that way.

“What’s on your mind?”

Alec smiled. How could he not? Faith had an uncanny ability to know things, read people. Unless it involved herself, anyway. Then she was oblivious.

He paused their walk by tugging on her hand and sat in the sand, gesturing for her to join him. When she complied, he lay back and stared at the stars. After a moment, she laid next to him, their arms and thighs touching.

“The sky looks different like this,” she said, turning her head to face him. “Doesn’t it? It looks bigger. Vast.”

He murmured in agreement. “I take it you never did this. Laid down and watched the sky? Jake and I used to do it all the time as kids. I haven’t in a long time.”

“No, I haven’t. There’s a lot of things I haven’t done, but I’m trying to make up for that.” She turned her head and stared at the sky again. “I can’t help but think that Hope would be disappointed in me for not living.”

Not for the first time, her brutal honesty gutted him. “You can’t think that way. You missed her and followed the routine you were accustomed to living. No one can fault you for that.”

“So that’s not what’s bothering you? My inexperience?”

What? “What?”

“You kiss me like you can’t help it and then back away to cool things down. You’ve done it twice now. I told you I’m not a virgin—”

“Stop.” He held up his hand and turned on his side to face her. “I’m trying not to rush things here.”

The sound of her swallow rose over the waves as she remained focused on the stars. “Do you know anything about constellations?”

Constellations?

“No.” He rolled to his back, wanting to take her abrupt change of topic as a sign. They barely knew each other. It wasn’t as if there could be a future between them. Why bother getting into—

Screw it. “I was engaged once before.” Still was, if only in his head. “I don’t want to repeat my mistakes, Faith. That’s why I don’t get involved. Why I don’t date a woman for more than a night. Actually dating someone, even just for the summer, is a new experience, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Plus, he cared enough about Faith to not want to hurt her. It was a special talent of his, hurting people, and it seemed she’d already had enough of that in her short lifetime. He closed his eyes and drew in a lungful of air, not realizing he’d been holding his breath.

After a few moments, she took his cold hand in her warm one and squeezed. “I understand.”

His eyes flew open. “You understand?”

He sat up, but she remained inclined, her dark hair fanned around her head in the sand. Why didn’t she probe him for answers? Demand to know what happened to his fiancée? Christ. She was from another fucking planet. Even a stranger would want to know the gory details. People were like that by nature. Curious.

Faith didn’t follow the pattern on anything. It was as if she didn’t care or lacked the genetic makeup to connect.

“Yes, I understand. I’ve never been close to marriage, but if I had and it ended badly, then I would be hesitant to enter into a relationship again.” She moved to sit, but instead of facing him, she turned toward the water. “Commitment takes a lot of trust, and if that trust breaks, it’s hard to get it back, even with someone else.”