Текст книги "Perfectly Imperfect"

Автор книги: Harper Sloan

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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

GODDAMN VULTURES.

Mia called an hour after we hung up to let me know that reporters had swamped my gate. The paparazzi are in full bloodlust over the rumors of my ‘love triangle.’ I had spent enough time looking at the shit on the web to know they were painting Willow as the other woman while Mia was suffering through my infidelity.

What a bunch of bullshit.

Lies I’m at the mercy of because I can’t say shit. A bed I made for myself because I didn’t do anything to ensure that Willow would be prepared for them when the news hit. But even if I had and she was by my side, I would never throw Mia to the wolves by giving life to their scandalous rumors.

My publicist had told me to keep my mouth shut, deny it all and let my little fling just go home. His advice was to use this to keep the fire blazing while he uses the attention to get Impenetrable into as many hands as possible when they started asking questions. Turning my personal hell into his gain.

Needless to say, he was fucking shocked when I fired him right then and there. No one, and I mean no one, will use Willow in a negative way just to pad his pockets. I could give a shit about Impenetrable right now, not when my future is hanging on by a thread while this shit storm boils over and starts to take out everything around me.

“Let’s go, Cam,” I shout through the house and wait for him to come into view.

“Didn’t Kole tell you it might not be a good idea?”

I look over at Cam sharply. “Does it look like I give a shit?”

Cam’s all-knowing glare is the only response that I get.

“I can’t just sit here and not go to her, Cam.” I lean back against the wall that takes us to the garage and drop my head back. “What am I supposed to do? Just bring Mia here and let the press go apeshit that on the heels of Willow’s exit Mia came running to me?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

I open my eyes and take a deep pull of air. What I wouldn’t give to get this helpless aggression out. “What should I do then?”

His usually impassive face breaks into an eerie grin; the look in his eyes cool and calculated. “You give her the grand gesture.”

Cocking my head, my brow pulls tight. What the fuck is he on?

“You know, if you spent more time reading those romance books, you would have figured this out before now. You’re a man who is known to avoid those assholes. You never comment when asked to confirm whatever it is that they want. Willow knows that, you’ve told her that, but what you haven’t showed her is that the chance you had her take on you would be worth it because you believe in it enough to finally allow the world to have you without hiding. I get it, Kane. Your whole life is out there for their sick pleasure to feed themselves on every move you make. You deserve to have your own shit, but there is nothing wrong with telling them they’re right about Willow. You can give them that and still keep your privacy. More importantly, you can give her that.”

“Grand gesture?”

“That’s what I said.”

Stepping away from the wall, I walk over to where Cam’s standing, trying to figure out where in the hell my silent friend went. “And what am I supposed to do about Mia?”

He sighs. “I’m not telling you to go out there and give them all of you. Just do what you need to in order to leave no doubt about what is between you and Willow. The rest of them can fuck right off.”

It sounds so easy. Open my mouth and confirm my relationship.

“Let me call Mia,” I say and walk back toward the front of the house while I wait for her to pick up. I step over Kyle and just barely resist kicking him in his stubborn head.

“Hey. Are you almost to Kole’s?” she asks, a loud yawn ending her question.

“Mia, just go home. You need your rest.”

“No. I need to fix the mess that I’ve created. Plus, I can always crash in one of Kole’s many guest rooms.”

I look through the door and see nothing but darkness outside my house. The front gate sits too far from my house to give me a view of what’s waiting for me. “How bad is it out there?” I ask knowing that she will understand.

“Not too bad if you consider the police were showing up when I passed your street. I didn’t even turn down there knowing they knew my car, but you could see them even a half mile out.”

“Shit,” I bark.

“Are you having trouble leaving? I’m sure Cam could just call the local PD and have them take care of it.”

“It’s not that. Cam had an idea, and I think it might work. Especially knowing how many of those motherfuckers are out there.”

Her sigh comes through the line, and I know she’s just gearing herself up. I wait, needing the time myself to deal with the fact that I’m actually considering this.

“What’s the idea, Kane?”

“I’m going to walk out there and give them what they want?”

She gasps. “The baby?”

I’m shaking my head before I remember she can’t see me. “Fuck, no. I wouldn’t do that to you, Mia. I’m going to go out there and tell them with no uncertainty that yes, I’m with Willow Tate, and they can fuck off.”

“Maybe you should leave that last part off.” She laughs.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“What did Trace say about this?” Her question spikes my temper when I remember how he wanted to play my life like a fucking puppet master.

“Trace got fired about an hour ago. For once, I’m not thinking about what is best for my career, Mia. It could fuck off because all that matters is making sure the woman I love knows just how much.”

“Well, then, Kane, let me settle in and wait while you go do the big badass romantic scene to win the girl.”

I let out a rough laugh. “Very funny. I know, I used to make fun of these scenes when I got stuck playing some lovesick pussy, but I’m willing to admit that it was easy to make a joke of a character’s actions when you had no fucking clue what it was really like to feel the emptiness that led to their declaration. I would do a lot more if it meant she was back in my arms, Mia.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Text me when you’re headed this way. Kole let me in and I’m going to lay down until you get here.”

I hang up, pocket my phone and call out to Cam.

He comes stomping into the room, his booted foot just missing Kyle’s head. “Well?”

“Get the car ready, and I’ll meet you down at the gate. Keep it running and when I’m done, we head to Kole’s.”

Cam gives me a nod and turns to go to the garage, but not before I see that creepy-ass grin back on his face.

MY MIND SLUGGISHLY STARTS TO wake. I jolt when I feel another poke against my back. Swatting behind me at the annoying sensation, I burrow deeper into the pillow. I start to relax when the sharp poke hits me again.

“Willow!”

My name, accompanied with another jab, makes me jump, and I almost fall off the side of the bed in my haste. Turning my head, I squint through the darkness at the intruder.

“Kole?”

His white teeth shine brightly in the dim lighting, and his head bobs in affirmation.

“Is everything okay?”

He bends and clicks on the lamp next to the bed, soft lighting bathing the room in a muted glow. He’s rumpled from sleep, and my eyes almost bug out of my head when I realize he’s only wearing some low-riding sweat pants. I quickly avert my eyes and look away, hearing his deep chuckle as my face heats.

“I need you to come with me,” he tells me before bizarrely standing and walking over to the door. “I figured you would want something more comfortable to wear instead of that … well, that,” he says and points at me.

I look down and gasp when I see the state of my appearance. I had thrown off my jacket when I came in here earlier and because my bra is the most painful thing ever, it followed. I left my pants and top on, but given that I had been sound asleep, the top had shifted and now one of my nipples was dangerously close to giving Kole a show.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry,” I rush out in embarrassment and grab the sweatshirt he had been pointing at. “Holy crap.”

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing I haven’t seen before, but do me a favor and let’s not mention that to my brother.”

At the mention of Kane, my humiliation fades, and the pain I felt earlier returns. God, it hurts. My whole body feels bereft without his presence.

After pulling the sweater over my head, I move toward where Kole is waiting and follow him through the hallway and into what I assume to be his office. He points at the chair behind the enormous monitor and waits for me to sit. I look over my shoulder at him curiously and wait for him to clue me in to why he woke me up. His hand moves over the mouse and the computer wakes, making my eyes hurt when the brightness hits me.

“Sorry,” he mumbles and pulls the wireless keyboard over to him.

I keep watching his movements on the screen as he brings up the browser and then I move to his fingers as he quickly starts typing.

When I see the address for a very well-known tabloid site, I gasp and look up at Kole.

“Trust me,” he says with a wink.

He has no way of knowing, but hearing that in a voice so similar to Kane’s and followed by his wink, cracks my heart a little deeper.

God, I miss him.

“Here we go,” he drones, and I look up to see him nodding to the monitor.

When I see the scene unfolding in front of me, I scoot closer and take it all in. I’m shocked at what I’m seeing, but my heart responds to the image of Kane instantly by picking up speed and all but bursting out of my chest.

What the heck is he doing? Walking out of his front gate and into the madness screaming and yelling questions so rapidly you can’t decipher what any of them is actually asking.

My gaze drinks him in and I try to understand the expression on his face. He looks nothing short of determined with his body held tall and sure with each step he takes past his now open gates and closer to the cameras. A strobe light of flashes dances in the darkness as he willingly walks, alone, into the crowd. It isn’t until he stops and holds up one hand to silence the group in front of him that I get a good look at his face.

To the world, he looks like Kane the movie star, confident in every move he makes including this one, but to me, all I see is the man who is falling apart.

“Holy crap.” I gasp when those eyes I love so much seem to look through the screen and right into my soul.

Kole grunts out a low laugh, but neither of us speaks, waiting and watching the live feed on the screen.

“I’m sure you have better things to do than to sit at my gate,” he starts, looking around him at the reporters in his path. “As you know, there have been a few reports about my private life today that have created some unpleasantness for me and those I love.” The crowd starts to buzz at the mention of those rumors, but he continues before anyone can question him. “While I hope you understand I won’t confirm everything that is out there, I want you all to just shut up and listen to what I have to say.”

Kole laughs loudly at his brother’s hard tone and passive-aggressive dig at the invasiveness that their very existence brings him.

“Today, the woman I love found out the hard way just what your tactless reporting can do when you take just the smallest grain of truth and twist it into whatever you want. She was hurt because of my life, and I won’t allow anyone the chance to question her value to my life. Not by you, my fans, and not even from herself. My private life is none of your business. My happiness and hers are the only things that concern me. So while I have your attention, allow me to set the rumors to rest. Yes, it’s true that I am without a doubt spoken for. The beautiful woman who fell into my life earlier this year owns every part of me, my heart, and my future. You might think that’s newsworthy, and you can try to find drama to fill your stories with, but I’m here to let you know you won’t find any. The woman I love gave me the greatest gift when she opened herself up and took a chance on me. Go home and wait for the next story to break because you will not find it with Willow and me.”

He keeps his eyes on the cameras in front of him for a few beats and then turns, walks to the car I hadn’t noticed idling just inside the gate, and climbs in the passenger seat. I can see Cam’s face, a huge smile in place, as the cameras start to flash rapidly as he inches forward and the feed cuts off.

“Did that just happen?”

Kole closes the browser and turns his head. “Fuck yeah, it did.”

I shake my head at his overwhelming happiness. I play back what I just watched, wanting to pinch myself because it feels like there is no way that was real. Kane just not only created a scene most romance movies would kill to generate with the passion and conviction in which he just professed his love—for me—to the world, but he also did something that I know he hated. He opened up his privacy in order to show me that he feels just as strongly about our love and me as he had said.

I know there is still uncertainty between us, but there is no doubt in my mind anymore that he’s gearing up for a battle to prove to me that he understands I meant what I said. I deserve everything, and he’s giving me just that.

“How did you know this was happening?” I question Kole. He walks around the desk and drops down into the plush couch against the wall. He yawns and I look at the clock on the monitor. “How were there even that many people there at almost one in the morning?”

“The vultures don’t sleep when there’s a juicy story to be found. And to answer your question, Kane called. Woke my ass up and demanded I get you in front of the computer in five minutes. I did my job, and now, we wait.”

“Wait?” I sputter.

He nods, winks, and folds his hands behind his head. “Yeah, shouldn’t be much longer.”

I nod when I have no clue what I’m actually nodding for and stand from the chair.

“Oh, no. You can’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving. I’m just not sure what I should do. Duck for cover or look for armor.”

He barks out a laugh but doesn’t say more.

His silence is almost worse than my imagination right now. I know Kane’s coming. I could feel it even if I didn't have Kole hinting it. My body is a mix of nerves and excitement after watching that. Is he coming to tell me the same thing or is he coming to give me more?

“What am I supposed to do now?” I all but shriek at Kole.

“Uh … maybe calm down?”

My eyes narrow. “I can’t just calm down. How many people saw that?” I ask and point at the computer behind me.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. In this country, maybe a couple billion or so. More overseas with the time difference and all.”

“A couple billion,” I stammer. “A couple BILLION!”

Holy crap.

“I don’t know, maybe more. Baby brother goes big when he sets his mind to it.”

“Kole, look … I don’t know you, but I’m kind of freaking out right now, and I need you to be serious. Why did he do that?”

He leans forward and braces his elbows against his spread knees. “My guess is he was letting his woman know just how much he loves her. But, I mean, I guess we could have been watching something different just then.”

“You aren’t as funny as you think you are.”

His smile just widens.

“I never doubted his love, Kole.”

His expression grows serious before he speaks. “Didn’t you?”

“Me leaving wasn’t about that.” I sigh. “I know he loves me. He just didn’t love me enough to give me all of him.”

He stands and walks over to me. I look up into his somber face. “I’m pretty sure, Willow, that he just did.”

I bite back a groan of frustration. “That’s not what I meant. He’s keeping something from me.”

He nods, a dark flash of understanding in his eyes. “Yeah, but maybe ask yourself if he’s keeping it from you to protect you just as much as he is trying to protect the others involved. He wasn’t just telling the world that he loves them. It was you. Let that be enough to hear him out.”

If only it were that easy.

TEN MINUTES OF PACING INSIDE of Kole’s office wasn’t enough to prepare me for Kane when he burst through the door, slamming the heavy wood against the wall with his force.

I almost jump out of my skin and can barely hear Kole laughing through the loud roar of blood rushing through my body. Kane steps into the room and his wild eyes hold me still until he reaches out to pull me to his body. His arms wrap around me as he bends his body to curl around me. His large frame dwarfs mine as his trembling body holds tight.

My hands come around him, and I fist his shirt, breathing him in and trying to calm my racing heart.

I’m not sure how long we stand there, but when he pulls back, I can see the distress deep in his eyes. “I’m so sorry.” His voice quivers and his eyes beg me to forgive him.

“I know, Kane. I know.”

“I fucking hate this, Willow. Hate knowing that I’m causing you pain and that I could have done everything a lot differently, but you have to know I’m not keeping things from you to be cruel. I’ve been beating myself up about this, but I couldn’t say anything. It is just so much bigger than our lives.”

I nod. “You couldn’t or you can’t?” The sadness I had felt earlier ebbing slightly at his words. My earlier courage to face this head-on gives me the drive to push through, even though I’m terrified of what will come to light.

Will I lose the man I love? Why is this baby such a secret that he couldn’t tell me before now? I just can’t figure out what piece of the puzzle I couldn’t find to fit the whole picture together.

“Couldn’t.”

I give him a small nod but wait for him to say more. He doesn’t ease his hold on my body, almost as if he’s afraid I’m going to bolt if he does.

“I tried, baby. God, I tried to tell you, but you have to understand that I had given my word to Mia that she could trust me with something this big long before we ever started our relationship.”

“How could you have tried, Kane? You avoided talking about your relationship any time that I asked. I gave you the trust you asked for. I even spoke to her myself. I can’t see how hard it was to just tell me.”

“Maybe I can answer that.” I jump in his arms when the female voice intrudes into our moment.

My eyes round and his own beg me silently to hear her out. To listen to what they both have to say. My stomach heaves violently when Mia walks into the room.

I feel seconds away from hyperventilating when she walks the rest of the way from the doorway to where Kane is still holding me. My skin flushing hot and cold so rapidly that it’s making me ill.

Her dark blond hair is pulled back into a sloppy mess of a bun, and her tired face is still gorgeous in its natural beauty. Her green eyes imploring as she stops just a few feet from us. I allow myself to look down and that sick seed of dread bursts inside me until I feel like it’s going to explode from my mouth.

Her clothes are baggy and more for comfort than anything else. Black leggings, boots, and a simple tee shirt. But it’s the shirt, wrinkled and loose everywhere except where it stretches tight against her swollen belly, which holds my attention.

“I wish we could have finally met under more pleasant circumstances, but it’s still lovely to finally meet the woman who makes Kane so happy.”

I mutely gape at her, not trusting my own body and its turmoil. I’m more worried that I’m about to throw up over all of us in some grossly accurate depiction of The Exorcist.

“Do you want to sit?” Kane asks, his raspy voice rumbling from his chest, and I finally look away from Mia and into his vulnerable eyes.

“No.” I gulp.

“Where do I start?” Mia asks, and I know she isn’t talking to me. How the heck would I know where to start; I’m having a hard enough time just trying to remember how to breathe.

“Just start from the beginning, Mees. You know you can trust her with all of it.”

I don’t take my eyes from his, the wretchedness making my already violent nerves spiral widely. He doesn’t just look torn. He looks like just the thought of hearing what she has to say is going to tear him up a lot more than it will me. How is that even possible?

“Okay,” she says softly, and I see her move to sit on the couch.

Movement on the other end of the couch tells me that Kole hasn’t left either. I don’t look away from Kane because I know that whatever is said now, what is between us and trying to salvage it is more important than who is witnessing it. Plus, it’s probably not as if Kole is unaware. Right?

“Kane and I had just wrapped on a film that we had been working on together. I’m sure you know the movie, even though it isn’t important, but it was a big deal because we hadn’t worked together for almost five years. Like the First Time was a fun movie for us, but it was more like a reunion because it was the first time that Kole had also been cast with us. This time, Kole beat Kane for the lead, which was pretty hilarious.”

Kole lets out a low burst of hilarity at the memory, but Kane just keeps searching my eyes. His troubled gaze darkening with each word that Mia speaks.

“The wrap party was pretty wild. Not indecent or anything, but the liquor was flowing and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a single sober person in the house. The whole Masters family was there, even though Christian and Becca left before things got crazy. I don’t remember where Kole went, but by the time I realized I had too much to drink, I was past the point of rational thought.”

Oh, God. I’m really going to be sick. My eyes widen, and Kane’s fill with helpless sympathy as trepidation overcomes me.

“It’s funny what you remember when faced with something traumatic. To me, each moment is burned into my brain, but even with the violent end to my night, I don’t regret it.”

Her words register, and I pull back in confusion. I finally look from Kane and meet her sad eyes, her hand rubbing absentmindedly against her abdomen.

“He acted like he didn’t even remember,” she continues, almost to herself. I see Kole’s body tighten, and he looks over at her in shock. “I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that Kane would protect me and help me through it. Regardless of how much it killed him.”

“What?” I gasp. Does she mean? No. There is no way the Kane I know is capable of something like that.

She wipes her eyes and looks from the spot she had been blindly staring into and locks eyes with me. A sad, vulnerable smile lifts her lips, almost like an apology before she speaks the words.

“A month after that night, I sat on the floor and cried as Kane held me. The trust of that night held in his hand as he looked at the positive pregnancy test. It was then that I begged him and selfishly took his promise of silence, using it to help me find a way to come to terms with my new future.”

“What the fuck,” Kole harshly whispers.

I look from Mia and back to Kane. The pain is still present, but a fire of rage starts to build behind it.

“He kept my secret not only because I was asking him to help and shield me, but also because I knew that if anyone felt the same protectiveness I do toward my son, it would be Kane. He would have done that even if my child didn’t share his blood.”

“Oh my God,” I sob, the sound coming out like a low whine.

“You son of a bitch,” Kole seethes.

“Fuck,” Kane bellows and turns his face from mine to narrow his eyes at Mia.

There’s a moment of silence and each thud of my heart feels like it’s slowly breaking.

“Oh, oh! No. Shit. I didn’t mean it like that,” she rushes, and my tear-filled eyes move from Kane’s chest and I look over at her. “The baby isn’t Kane’s.”

“What?” I meekly question, the pain in my chest and stomach almost making me want to pass out.

“The fuck, Mia!” Kole yells over me.

“It’s Kyle’s. The baby is Kyle’s.” She looks from Kole with a wince before glancing toward me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I’m so sorry, Willow. I never should have asked him to keep it from you, but I selfishly let the knowledge that he was the only one who knew my son was conceived by a man who drunkenly took advantage of my inebriated state make me feel better. A married man who blamed me for the life he helped to create and wanted me to ‘take care of it.’ There are so many lives that will never be the same now, but it was safer for us to let the world assume it was Kane’s than rip open everyone’s lives and have my son, their nephew, be born with a black mark against him. I can never tell you how sorry I am for ever letting it get this far when I should have been strong enough to fight this without involving Kane.”

My fists loosen against his shirt, and for the first time since he walked in the room, I start to pull from his embrace. I know he’s taking my retreat the wrong way because he curses under his breath and his arms let go of my body to cup my face, bringing my attention back to his.

“God, Willow. I’m so sorry. Please, baby, don’t pull away.” He presses his lips to mine and I return the kiss, but I pull back and step back. “I should have told you, and you will never know how much I regret not making sure that this talk happened weeks ago, but I wasn’t keeping it from you to hurt you.”

“No,” I start, and he snaps his mouth shut. Panic blazes brightly as his eyes plead with me not to pull away. “Stop, Kane.” I move from his reach completely and walk over to Mia. A woman who I had always thought was living the perfect life. One I envied from afar and prayed to have just a sliver of her fearless confidence now sits before me looking like the weak, fearful, depressed woman that I had been when I was making those prayers. I know what she feels. Maybe not in the same capacity, but I know what it’s like to live a life full of anxiety just thinking about the future. Not being able to see a single ounce of safety to help ease those feelings.

Until I learned what it was like to truly believe in myself.

But I also know I would have done the same thing in her shoes and reached out to hold on to anything that helped me function.

I recently learned I was the person who could have helped myself all along.

I sit down and reach out to pull her into my arms and we both sit there silently offering the other person something different. I’m sure for her this is her way of building the bridge of forgiveness that I needed to walk across in order to get to the future Kane was promising. I’m thankful for her ability to tell me her story even though I know that wasn’t easy. For her to fearlessly trust I won’t use it against her.

But for me, this embrace is a lot more than just forgiving her, Kane, and the impossible situation that almost ruined us. This is about me trying to show her that no matter how lonely she feels at her bottom, she will never be alone. There is always someone there to help you climb back up to your feet. It’s a lesson that sometimes people never learn. I was lucky enough to have my own savior help me find the strength I needed to see my own worth, so I can only hope I’m able to give a little of that to Mia.