Текст книги "Perfectly Imperfect"
Автор книги: Harper Sloan
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 23 страниц)
I WOKE UP FROM ONE of the deepest sleeps I had ever experienced when Kane came to gently let me know we would be landing soon and I needed to come and get my seatbelt on.
It took me a little while to shake the tiredness from my system. I’m sure a little of that had to do with Kane keeping me up for the last few nights, but I know emotionally today was just tiring.
“Hey,” I tell Kane and press a light kiss to his lips before taking the seat on the other side of the table.
He looks up from his iPad and gives me a smile.
“Are you okay?” I question, cocking my head to the side and studying his expression.
His eyes flash, and I know, regardless of what he says, something is bothering him.
“I’m fine. I just have some things on my mind.”
“Ohhhhhkay. And you don’t feel like you can talk to me about those things?”
He places his iPad down and leans forward, reaching out and folding his hands over mine. “It’s not that, Willow. I just wanted to be able to talk to you when we weren’t rushed for time. When I can explain things without having to stop.” He sighs. “I didn’t want to worry you.”
My skin flashes cold, and a little seed of dread starts to burrow in my gut. What on earth could have happened during the time we’ve been in that air that has him needing to explain things to me? Or better yet, what would make me have cause for worry?
And then, the cold flushes through me again when I realize what he could mean. Or more importantly, why he’s worried about me.
“They found out about our relationship?”
He nods, his expression darkening.
“And that bothers you?” I continue, trying to field my way through the many things that could be wrong here. I’m not sure how I feel about him being bothered by our relationship becoming common knowledge now that we’re being faced with it. He had assured me he wasn’t ashamed or hiding our relationship, and I believed him. I know he’s immensely private and not broadcasting us is a lot different from intentionally hiding it.
“That the media knows about our relationship? No. But I know how they work, Willow. They take a grain of truth, a sliver of the privacy I value, and splatter it with whatever lies they can in order to make their money. The truth doesn’t pad their pockets, not when it doesn’t hold anything sordid.”
I lean back in my seat, my hands falling from his hold. Even though I didn’t intentionally pull away from him, I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“What are they saying?”
He shakes his head, his shoulders dropping with a loud sigh. “The normal things. Speculating about how serious we are, where we meet, and who the woman in my life is.”
I reach out to take his iPad from the table to see for myself what is being said, but when he notices my intent, he reaches out and grabs it from my grasp. The swiftness in his movements causes me to snap my hand back as if he had physically slapped it. That little seed of dread starting to sprout.
“Promise me, Willow, that you will just let me take care of this. Let’s get to my house and we can sit down, but I don’t want you to fill you head with that garbage until we can talk. We need to plan on how we want to address the media with our relationship officially and not just with hypothetical talk about what would happen if they found out. They know, and even though I would normally never address my private life with them, you know how I feel about hiding you. I won’t do it. I just need you to let me explain a few things before we decide what to do.”
“Why do I get the impression that there is more going on right now than you’re telling me?”
He unbuckles and kneels down in front of me. “I love you, Willow. Trust in that and trust in me. You know there are things I haven’t told you, but I haven’t kept them from you for any other reason than I had made a promise to someone that I wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Not even to me,” I add. I’m not mad about that. I know how important his word is to him, his integrity that his trust is worth something more than just a word. But it still unsettles me. That being said, I think it would be more unsettling if he had no issues breaking the trust he had asked someone to have in him when our relationship started out with me blindly giving him my trust.
“I’m sorry, baby. When I gave my word, it was before I ever imagined what we have would become a reality. The love we have is the best kind of unexpected, and you have to know how much I hate keeping this from you. I’m telling you, with absolute honesty, that I will tell you everything, but I have to do that without breaking my word. There are too many people who can get hurt, and I refuse to let you be one of them.”
Taking a deep pull of air, I nod. “Okay, Kane. I trust you, and I know you wouldn’t keep secrets from me that would hurt me. Before we leave this spot, though, I’m going to ask something of you that I had when we first started this. Please don’t make me regret giving you my trust, Kane. I love you more than you’ll ever know, but if you’re keeping something from me that affects our lives, I deserve to know.”
His jaw works, clenched in frustration, and he runs one hand through his thick hair. “I promise that it isn’t anything that will affect us and our lives directly, regardless of what the media is saying.”
The air between us ripples with uneasiness. I can see it in his eyes, the love that he has for me, but I also see the apprehension and worry written over his features.
“We’re in this together, Kane. Just don’t shut me out.”
He sighs; one of acceptance and relief that I’m not fighting him on his request to let this be until we get back to his home. “I won’t. Come on, love, let’s go home.”
Despite the uneasy feeling I had while we were landing, the ride to Kane’s Malibu beach house was lovely. William had landed in a small, private airstrip just outside of Santa Monica that Kane owned. A Range Rover similar to the one we had been driving around in while in Georgia and New York was waiting for us, and after Cam and Kane had transferred over our luggage, we began the drive.
Kane pointed out different locations as we drove, and his hand was always in contact with my body somehow; as if he was worried that I would disappear if he didn’t physically know I was with him. The conversation wasn’t forced and neither was his affection.
I wasn’t nervous about what was to come. I know that Kane is honorable in his trust and he isn’t trying to hurt me. It’s just the opposite; he’s looking out for me and us. I can’t be mad about that.
I settle into the soft leather under me and rest my head on his shoulder, my hand settling on his hard thigh, and I enjoy the ride. There’s no need to consume myself with negativity.
It has no place today, the day we begin our lives together.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I hear is Kane cursing next to me.
“What?” I gasp and jerk to sit up, looking around us. Dusk had settled around us, the darkness of night starting to claw its way free, but the only thing I see is a brightly lit home, a few cars, and a whole lot of nothing.
Kane’s house is set away from the beach. He had told me that in order to maintain his privacy, he had bought land that was high above the jutting rocks of one little butted-out piece of land. Enough area was fenced off between the cliff and trees; we were almost on a little island of our own.
He had also explained that he has enough security to give the White House a run for its money. So for the life of me, I can’t understand what would have set him off. The expression on his face coupled with the curses that woke me had me expecting to wake with cameras and reporters in our face.
“We have company,” he says through a clenched jaw.
“Company?”
“My family. All of them judging by the cars.”
He points to his right, and I lean forward to look around his body.
“Okay? And that’s a bad thing? I thought you were excited to see your parents.”
I had spoken with Christian and Rebecca Masters a few times in the last few weeks and nothing in those conversations gave me the impression I should be worried about meeting them for the first time.
His father, just like Kane, has no problem expressing himself, and he’s told me each time we’ve spoken how happy he is that his son is so happy. He’s the father I had always wished I had. Open, affectionate, and supportive.
His mother was hilarious. She opened her heart and let me in as if I was one of her own. I knew from our last phone call that she was looking forward to meeting me as well.
So seeing Kane upset over his family being here is very unlike him.
“Kane? Why is this bad?”
He sighs, frustration and anger coming forward. “Fuck!” His outburst makes me jump, and he turns to me and offers his apologies. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m not mad they’re here … well, most of them. I’m not upset that they finally get to meet the woman I love, even if I wish we had some time to ourselves. When I said they’re all here, I meant all of my family, Willow.”
“Your brothers?” He nods.
“Kyle?” Again, he gives me a nod. Well, that certainly explains things. I know he’s close with his brother Kole, but he’s made no secret that things with Kyle are strained. He didn’t explain in detail. I could tell it wasn’t something he liked to talk about, so I didn’t push.
“I haven’t seen him in almost five months, Willow. I have no idea why he’s here other than the fact he’s trying to play some part of good older brother to my parents, who as far as I know are blissfully unaware that their sons hate each other.”
I scoot over and wrap my arms around him. “Then let’s go in there and just ignore him.”
His eyes hold mine, and he looks as if he is about to say something, but when he hears a high-pitched feminine call, his attention moves from me toward his front door.
I knew from seeing his mother accompany him one year to the Oscars that she was a beautiful woman. Kane favored his mother in looks. He had her same dark brown hair, blue eyes, and thick lips. But that was all he got from his mother. She was what I pictured when I thought of the quintessential mother figure. She was short, plump, and smiled in a way that almost looked unnatural. The love she had shone through her every movement. And right now, that love was rushing down the four stairs that led up to his front porch and right to the car parked in the front circle.
“My baby boy,” she yells before pulling the door open. “Get out here and give me some love! It’s been too long, and you’ve neglected your mother long enough.”
He laughs against my body and slides out of the backseat, pulling me with him when he grabs my hand. I look up and see Cam laughing at Kane’s mother as she bounces up and down on her feet waiting for her son to give her a hug, her arms wide and her expression full of excitement.
“Hey, Mom,” he mumbles, letting go of my hand and bending down to wrap his arms around her.
“Oh, my big baby boy. Stop denying me the happiness of these hugs and come home more often.”
Kane laughs and tries to pull back but fails when she refuses to let him go.
My own laughter joins Cam when I watch Kane pick his mother up off her feet. Her smile brightens, and he laughs even harder. Her feet dangling in the air as her ‘baby boy’ gives his mother the love she’s been missing.
“Jesus, Becca! Let the man breathe,” a deep voice laughs from the doorway.
I look over at the man I assume is Kane’s father. He’s just as tall, if not a little taller than Kane. And this would be where Kane got every other one of his striking features. Strong jaw, chiseled cheeks, thick brows, and that one dimple. They have the same powerful build. Impossibly thick muscles—the kind that shows they work hard to stay fit without turning into hulks—trim hips, and long legs.
“Isn’t he handsome.” Kane’s mother laughs, and I look over from his father to see that he was no longer embracing her. She was now standing right in front of me with her beaming smile in place and this time directed at me.
I look from her to her son, now walking toward his father, and then back, nodding my head as my own beaming smile forms.
She throws her head back and laughs loud and long, pulling me to her in a hug that almost hurts. “Oh, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, honey. I can’t tell you how much I have been. I just knew you would be perfect.”
Her words hit me, harder than her hug, and I feel myself getting slightly emotional. “It’s great to finally meet you, Mrs. Masters.”
“None of that, dear. Call me Becca … or Mom. Whatever works for you. No place for formalities with family.”
Family.
God, she has no idea how much that means to me. I look up and meet Kane’s eyes. He gives me a look full of love, and I give him a big toothy smile, relieved to see his mood has lifted when he returns it.
“Let’s get inside and get you settled in. Kane told me you would be staying in the guesthouse, so I made sure the fridge was well stocked. Kole made sure that the sheets were changed, fresh, and dust-mite free since no one ever stays there.”
Kane laughs at his mother’s words as we walk through the doorway and into his home. “You made Kole do housework?”
“Well, who else was going to do it, young man? He knows better than to question his mother.”
“More like I’m afraid of her when she’s got a wooden spoon in her hand. That shit hurts.”
“Kole Henry Masters! You watch that mouth of yours.” Turning to me, she continues, “These boys seem to think that cussing makes them some big bad man, but I tried to teach them that it only makes them look too stupid to find a word worth expressing their feelings.”
“Being that Willow doesn’t curse, I believe you’ll have an ally in that fight to clean us up, Mom.” Kane laughs and I reach out playfully to slap his shoulder.
His brother walks toward the group, and he and Kane do that manly hand slap, body bump thing, and then he turns all of his attention to me.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the woman who stole my baby brother’s heart. Kole.” He smiles while addressing me and holds his hand out. My eyes go wide, and I look from his offered hand to his face a few times, feeling my mouth drop with each repeated journey of my eyes.
“Willow?” Kane chuckles, and I feel my face heat.
“Sorry.” I take his hand and give him a shake. “Willow, nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan.”
“Seriously?” He looks over at Kane, and he winks. “Did she tell you she was a huge fan of yours too?”
I don’t need to look at Kane to know he’s shaking his head and probably struggling not to burst out laughing.
“Can’t say she did. Guess you must be better at acting than I am,” he surmises, hilarity mixing with the sultry roughness of his voice.
“I did too,” I defend and look over at Kane. “I think?”
“No, baby, you didn’t. That’s okay. You just want me for my good looks.” He winks.
“Oh, you’re impossible.” I giggle and Kane reaches out to pull me to his body and away from his charming brother. “It’s nice to meet you, Kole. Sorry about that. Well, maybe just a little sorry.”
“Would you two stop picking on her,” his mother interrupts with a laugh of her own. “My boys, talented and too good looking for their own good. They would probably make a nun lose her mind too. Too much hot male vibes and all.”
“Mom, I’m not sure you should admit that about your own kids.” Kole laughs.
Her eyes narrow playfully, and Kole holds his hands up in surrender. “Just because I’m your mother doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how good looking my guys are.”
We’re all laughing as Kane’s arm goes around my shoulders, and we follow his family as they lead the way deeper into his house. The front entryway didn’t allow the view that I have now. Windows cover the whole back of his home. I’m sure when the sun is blazing, it gives you the most spectacular view of the Pacific.
A staircase to the right of the living room leads to a second floor. To the left of the open-floor plan is a large kitchen and dining area. The whole house is white walls, lots of glass, and deep gray and black accents. Instead of looking like a sterile bachelor pad, Kane’s home holds warms despite its design to do the opposite. Family photos, old worn leather couch and loveseat, and quilts. I shouldn’t have expected it to be different. Just like the man himself, his home makes you feel like you’re welcome and invites you in a way that wraps around you like a physical touch.
I look up at Kane with a smile, but he’s not looking at me. His focus is over my head and toward the kitchen.
Looking back in that direction, I see what I missed before.
The narrow, judgmental, and very angry eyes of Kyle Masters.
INTRODUCTIONS TO KYLE WERE AS far opposite as it could get from the open friendliness I had gotten from Kole. The three Masters brothers look so alike that they might as well have been triplets. All had the same wavy, thick hair, dark in certain lights to give it a black appearance. With Kane and Kole, it was left to its own devices, usually a mess from many passes of their hands. It gave them a carefree look to their overall strong appearance of sharp angles and rough handsomeness. But Kyle’s was styled with so much product that he not only tamed those waves, he also made his own appearance lose any trace of the relaxed and happy-go-lucky ease his younger brothers had.
All three had the bluest of blue eyes, something I now know they get from their father. But unlike the two younger Masters boys, Kyle’s were hard, calculating, and so full of hate that you almost felt burned when his attention was on you.
There was no doubt in my mind that Kyle Masters was a troubled man.
He had spoken once in the two hours since we had arrived. And all it did was make the mood even darker. I had thought it was a simple question when Kane asked him why he was there, but when he ominously replied with a confusing ‘you know why,’ things just started to speed downhill quickly. Becca had gone overboard to try to defuse the intensity between her sons, but it only made things more awkward when Kyle refused to take the high road and respond to his mother if it had to do with Kane.
But, to my shock, the heated madness Kyle was showing his brother was nothing compared to the disgust he openly had with my presence. Something I couldn’t for the life of me understand. I had never met this man. As far as I knew, he really shouldn’t know anything about me since he and his brother weren’t exactly on friendly terms. But regardless, he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings, and it only made things more awkward.
Kane seemed to be seconds from snapping. His parents were attempting to keep things from turning into a war between the boys. Kole seemed just as uneasy as I did, but he did a better job of hiding it. Instead of silence, he attempted to placate the heavy mood with jokes, but they all fell flat.
“Kyle, dear, where is Jessica tonight?” his mother asks in an effort to pull her oldest son’s sneer away from me.
My attention, however, is pulled from Kyle when I hear Kane bark back a laugh that holds absolutely no humor. His hand, which had been holding mine firmly but softly, tightens when Kyle looks over and they both lock heated, angry, matching blue eyes together.
Oh, boy.
If things had been awkward before, then they’re painfully so now.
Kyle never answers, but he does take another healthy swallow of whatever dark brown liquor he had been keeping his glass full with for the last two hours. Actually, probably for a lot longer than that given the way his body keeps swaying to the side before he catches himself.
“Well, look at the time,” Kane’s father exclaims and makes the effort to yawn loudly. “Bec, honey, I think it’s time that we head out.”
“Great idea, honey,” she whispers, and I notice just how much of a toll her son’s behavior has had on her. The exuberant happiness that she had just hours before is now completely gone. Worry lines hold her expression captive as she takes the plates from in front of her and her husband. Christian takes the rest and follows his wife to the kitchen.
“Let’s go, Kyle,” Kole snaps and grabs his brother’s arm.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” he seethes, jerking his arm free and almost falling to the ground in his inebriated state.
“Jesus Christ, Kyle. This is a new fucking low, even for you.” Kane exhales and stands from the table.
Kyle opens his mouth; I’m sure to spew more nastiness, but stops when his parents return. His mother gives Kane another long hug before his father does the same. I let out a sigh of relief when Kyle moves to follow them out. I know there were three other cars in the drive when we arrived, but I’m assuming that with how drunk Kyle has become, he’s going to be leaving with their parents or Kole.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Kane tells Kole as they say good-bye.
I get hugs from both his parents as well before we follow them out, smiling despite my unease as they make their exit and drive off. Just when Kole is about to tell me good-bye, Kyle finally speaks, obviously having waited for his parents to leave before he makes his move.
“How does is your new plaything feel about Mia and the baby, Kane,” he slurs and steps closer to me. The blood drains from my face with his words, and my heart falls to my feet when Kane lets out a curse. “Oh, let me guess. You haven’t told her about the baby yet,” Kyle continues with an evil laugh, the sound so sinister to my ears that I shiver. “Guess you missed all the tabloid reports about how his affair is the reason Mia’s pregnancy has been so touch and go with the stress. Tell me, how will you feel if she loses the much anticipated Post/Masters baby?”
“You son of a bitch,” Kane bellows, and I jump at the furious sound I had never heard from him.
“Shit,” Kole spits out and grabs me just as Kane lunges for his brother.
“You shut your fucking mouth, Kyle,” Kane yells at his brother, slamming him against the side of his house with his hand clenched tight against his throat. “You, of all people, know just how fucked-up your behavior is!”
Kyle’s eyes narrow and he shoves back at his brother, dislodging his hold. “Do I, Kane? Who was the fucked-up one who hasn’t seen Mia in almost two months, huh? Have you been there for her once since the first doctor’s appointment?”
“You have no right, Kyle. No fucking right to question where I’ve been.”
Kyle turns his head, letting his heated ire focus on me as I tremble in Kole’s arms. “Yeah, guess you’re right since I can see just where you’ve been while Mia’s been all alone.”
“Motherfucker,” Kane grunts, and his fist flies out to connect with his brother’s face. The impact snaps Kyle’s head back and added to how drunk he is, he falls in an unconscious heap in the middle of Kane’s driveway.
I can’t bring myself to look at Kane. Even though I can feel the heat of his stare on me, my eyes stay on Kyle’s prone form. Kole doesn’t loosen his hold on me. His arms stay looped around my upper body, holding me captive with my back to his front.
We stand there, silence thickening, until Kyle’s words finally register completely, the force like a tidal wave. A sob pushes from my shocked body so violently that I almost fall from Kole’s arms. My eyes finally move to where Kane is standing, his face the mask of pure agony as his rapid breathing heaves his chest.
He moves to walk toward me, but I hold my hand up to halt him. “No.”
“Willow, please.” He attempts to reach me again, but I push against Kole and force him to move with me as I step away.
“Do not come any closer.”
Kane’s whole body slumps as his desperation becomes paramount to the madness that had just been brewing.
“Do you deny his words?” I ask, pointing at where Kyle is still out cold.
“It’s not that simple, baby,” he responds, despondently.
“Then explain it to me,” I demand, proud that my voice sounds a lot stronger than I feel right now. “Explain your relationship with Mia Post and your role in her child’s life. Do it now, Kane. No more hiding.”
“I can’t,” he weakly answers.
I nod and turn to Kole. “Can you please take me to a hotel,” I ask, resolved in the knowledge that I can’t stay if Kane isn’t willing to tell me what I need to know. Not now. Not after his brother's admission. This isn’t like him asking me to blindly trust in him with media lies. This came straight from his own family.
Kole looks past me and toward Kane. He doesn’t speak, but when he looks back at me, he gives me a nod. Instantly, I feel relief that I’ll be able to leave when I know I have nowhere to go.
“Willow. Fuck, don’t leave.” Kane reaches out and grabs my hand, but his arm falls to his side when I rip myself from his hold.
“Then tell me what I need to know.”
His silence is all I need. I allow the tears that had been threatening to fall and look into the cerulean orbs that have never given me anything but love until today.
“Kole, can you grab my stuff?” I wait for him to walk back into the house. The connection I’m holding with Kane’s gaze never wavers. When Kole is out of earshot, I continue speaking. “I deserve more than that, Kane. I’m not running. This isn’t me running. This is me being strong enough to walk away even though I know it will hurt. This is me knowing that I’m worth everything and not just whatever you feel I’m allowed to know. And until you can give that to me, we have nothing left to say to each other.”
“Willow,” he begs, desperation making my name come out like a deep sob.
“No. You asked me to trust you, but you can’t put that same trust in me. I get that your word means everything to you, but guess what, Kane? If you loved me, truly loved me, you would have found a way to be completely open and honest with me before the painful truth was allowed to scar me.”
Kole walks back out of the house with two of my suitcases and my purse over his shoulder. He doesn’t look at Kane, nor does he look at Kyle. He heads right over to me, and after asking me if I was sure, he takes me to his car and helps me fold into the passenger seat. He stuffs the suitcases in the trunk and makes his way to his side. The whole time, my eyes never leave Kane. I can see the pain in his whole demeanor. The connection that had always felt so strong between us pulls tightly against my own chest as the gravity of the situation hits me. My tears pick up speed as I let out a heaving cry.
It isn’t until Kole has pulled his sleek sports car through Kane’s gate that I allow my sobs to join the tears as I leave the only man who will ever hold my heart behind.
