Текст книги "Fear You"

Автор книги: B. B. Reid

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Chapter Eight

Keiran

I was starting to believe cat and mouse was Monroe’s favorite game. She never missed an opportunity to run from me even though I would always catch her. When she ran from the bathroom like a bat out of hell, I fought the urge to laugh. She did exactly as I expected her to and was pleased to find she didn’t disappoint. I ignored the urge to chase after her.

Instead, I picked up the sponge I had just used to make her come and took a quick bath. I wasn’t one to take leisurely baths in garden tubs with bubbles and shit, but I did it to mess with her head. It was also an excuse to get close to her and touch her as I had been itching to do since the last time. It seemed too fucking long ago.

I gave Monroe enough time to find her hiding spot before stepping out of the tub. After a quick towel dry, I stalked out of the bathroom in search of my prey. I didn’t have to search hard. The noise coming from her bedroom let me know where she had disappeared to and that she wasn’t hiding. Her bedroom door was open, and when I stepped in the doorway, my heart actually skipped a beat.

Son of a bitch.

Legs spread, feet planted, arms extended, and with a determined look in her eye, Monroe held a gun that was pointed straight at my heart.

“What is this,” I asked, attempting casualness. I wasn’t afraid. In fact, I felt quite the opposite. My dick had never been harder.

“I want you to leave and never come back.”

“Or you’ll shoot me?” I took a step inside the room and closed the door behind me. Confusion appeared on her face when I moved closer. It wasn’t the reaction she expected.

“That would be why I have a gun pointed at you.” The hard edge in her voice faltered, but only for a moment.

“Why a gun? Why not call the cops?”

“So you can get out of it and come after someone else I love? Forgive me, but I don’t have much faith in our justice system anymore. The penal system sucks.”

“So why not just kill me?”

“Are you seriously going to tempt the person with the gun?”

“I’m thinking I should call your bluff.”

“That would be stupid. Leave and don’t come back. Whether I put you away or kill you, I will not let you hurt me again.”

“Why the change of heart?”

It was the picture of a dam breaking as large tears rolled down her face and her hand began to tremble. “Because,” she sobbed. “Because I’m done surviving you. That girl is gone,” she screamed.

“So who is standing in front of me?”

“The girl who will fight you even if it takes her last breath.”

“Then why are you crying, baby?” I took another step toward her, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Don’t… don’t call me that, Keiran. Please don’t call me that. You’re just trying to mind fuck me.”

She wasn’t completely wrong, but she wasn’t entirely right either.

“You’ll always be mine, Lake.” I took another step. “You can use a gun…” Another step. “You can use a knife…” Just a little closer. “You can fucking kill me, but you’ll always be mine.”

By the end of my little speech, my chest was pressed against the gun, and I felt her fear. I lifted my hand slowly and flipped the safety off. Her small gasp of breath blew across my neck, and I felt my dick stiffen.

“So shoot me.”

Her arm whipped out faster than I’ve ever seen her move. The butt of the gun slapped brutally across my lip, and I could instantly recognize the metallic taste of blood.

She hit me.

She fucking hit me.

The expression on her face told me she was just as surprised as I was, but she recovered quickly and tipped her righteous chin at me in a challenge.

Fuck. Me.

“You’re going to regret that.”

“Somehow I doubt that. What I can’t seem to figure out is why you’re still here.”

“You fucking hit me.” I thumbed at the moist spot on my lip and peered down to see a bright speck of red coating the tip of my thumb.

“Are you going to cry about it?”

“Monroe,” I started but stopped and took a few deep breaths. I was having a hard time controlling whatever the hell was pushing against the surface for a taste of her. Whatever I was feeling, she must have seen when her expression became fearful, and she took a step back. “Have I ever hit you?”

“N—no.”

I snatched her by her shirt and brought her chest to mesh with mine.

“Then you don’t hit me.”

I felt my teeth grind against each other and practically felt the grit in my voice as I spoke to her. I could tell myself I was mad because she hit me. That maybe I was even mad because she shed my blood. But no, I knew why I was really upset. Doesn’t she know who I am and what I am capable of doing? What if I had been someone else? Someone wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her.

She held the gun in her hands, and she mistakenly believed it made her strong when it only made her much more vulnerable. She wasn’t ready to use the gun, and I didn’t mean on a physical level. Mentally, she was still too protected by her innocence. Someone more depraved than me would have killed her with her own gun by now.

“It’s just a little bloodshed,” she mocked. Her body betrayed her as I felt her quake and listened to the uneven rhythm of her breathing.

“Are you nervous?” I fought the smile tugging at the corner of my lip.

“In your dreams.”

“You have no idea what I dream about.”

“Dead little girls and the other people you murdered?”

Her back had hit the wall with a violent crash, and I was on her before I could waste time to regret my next move.

I was going to own this girl.

I braced the back of my arms against the wall and leaned down, bringing our faces close together. It was the closest I was willing to allow myself. I didn’t dare touch her again. Not now. My demon was raging a war against my will power and was calling me to hurt her, to give her the bite of pain she reserved to like only during sex.

The gun in her hand hung almost limp as if she’d forgotten that it was even there but the fight was still in her eyes.

Everyone, including me, was still waiting around for her to change, but instead of wanting to build her up, I wanted to tear her down, to bare the deepest part of her soul, and to taint it.

“You have no idea of the things I’ve done. What I told you was filler, nothing more. My secrets are far more sinister than you can handle, Monroe. I can drag you into that world. I can make you a person who never has to worry about fear again.”

“There’s more?”

“There’s always more.”

“Just get away from me,” she bit out.

I grinned down at her but didn’t budge. If she thinks I would leave without my goodbye kiss, she has another thing coming.

“No.”

“If you’re going to kill me for putting you away, then do it. All this nauseating foreplay is boring me.”

“Nauseating, huh? Boring?”

Before she could respond, I stole her lips with mine in a hard kiss as I shared my leftover blood with her and did my best to bruise her.

“You have no fucking clue what you do to me, do you?” I asked when I finally allowed her air to breathe. Her lips were stained in crimson red, and there were little bite marks from where I had bit her. Nice. I couldn’t explain the unspoken need to mark her, but it felt right.

She was breathing hard as if she’d just run a race. I think the sappy love stories would say ‘I stole her breath away.’

“I told you not to touch me,” she panted.

“And yet here I am.”

She hadn’t realized I had taken the gun from her, flipped the safety on, and stuck it in my jeans. My hands itched to touch her, but I braced them against the wall again and watched her squirm under my gaze.

“I hate you.”

“You don’t hate me.” I lowered my lips to her neck and licked the spot where her pulse was beating faster than usual. “You hate that you can’t.”

“I should say the same to you.” I heard the angry bite in her voice and smiled.

“You’re right. I don’t hate you, Monroe. Not anymore. I’m obsessed with you,” I admitted.

“Why do I get the feeling that is much worse?” she whispered woefully. I lifted my head to meet her eyes, and I could see the question and the fear. “Why are you here, Keiran?”

“I told you I needed to see…”

“Me?” she whimpered.

“Yes.”

“You needed to see if I was still afraid?”

She now had a faraway look in her eyes, and I experienced the unfamiliar, yet intense need to hold her and protect her from the world, but most of all from me.

I remember the first time I felt a similar need.

I had just come back from a summer at basketball camp. Instead of fun, it had been grueling and a waste. I got into countless fights, many of which I started and stayed pissed practically the entire time. It was the first time I’d been away from Monroe for so long. The school year began, and I saw her walking down the hall the first day of school. She looked so beautiful. She was different now, too. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was a more womanly quality about her. I had reached out to caress her face as if it were the most natural thing to do. It was her flinch that brought reality crashing down on my shoulders, and I quickly recovered by slapping her books out of her hand. I had to force my feet to keep moving and fight the urge to look back.

It wasn’t until I had her for the first time that I realized the petty shit I had done to her gave me only a false sense of satisfaction. Making her fear me was only half the battle. I needed to make her want me, too.

“Yes,” I lied. I didn’t give a damn about her fear anymore, but I would lie if I said I didn’t still want to control her.

“Well, then I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“You didn’t.” I shrugged and moved away to sit on her bed. I needed the space just as much as she did. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for me to fuck her right there against the wall. It would be hard and unapologetic. I would make her want it, and then I would make her cry before leaving her like always.

“I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

“So you said.” The murderous glint in her eye, and then the way she stared down at her hand in shock as she finally realized her gun was gone, told me what she was thinking. “I took it from you while I kissed you, silly.”

“Give it back.”

“Why did you get a gun?” I didn’t try to hide my smugness. I wanted her to know I was aware of my effect on her.

“Do you really have to ask? Between you and your sick, crazy father, I felt it was more than necessary. When I think about what he did to Keenan, I—” She snapped her mouth closed and regarded me with a worried expression. “Have you gone to see him yet?” she whispered.

The change in subject took me by surprise but I hid it well. I even found myself nodding. “He’s awake now,” I volunteered.

“I know. Sheldon told me a few days ago. How is he?”

“He isn’t the same.” We stared at each other for long moments as she tried to interpret my meaning. The deep frown marring her forehead only deepened before suddenly clearing.

“Keiran, I have to know…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Why did you kill her? Before you said you didn’t believe she was innocent but there has to be more.”

“Why would you think there was more?”

“Because I don’t believe you kill for the hell of it.”

“You don’t know me beyond my cock, Monroe. Don’t pretend otherwise.”

“Even a closed book can tell a story.”

“Yeah, well, mine is no fairytale.”

“And your mother? What about her story?”

She’s still on that? Her persistence in learning more about Sophia’s death was something I could use to my advantage. “What are you willing to do for the answer?”

“Come again?”

“You can have your answer if you give me something I want.”

“Such as?”

“You. Tonight. Right here and now.”

“Not happening.”

“Not even if I promise to fuck you hard and long?” I almost grinned at the way she squirmed and the way her mouth dropped open. Her body had already said yes, but her mind had yet to catch up.

“You make such a compelling argument,” she quipped.

“You’re the one standing here as naked as the day you were born. You know how much I appreciate easy access.”

“Screw you. I don’t want the answers that bad.” She stomped over to her dresser and with angry, jerky movements, pulled out a pair of sweats and a shirt.

“Should I take that as a no?”

“You bet your ass,” she snapped.

I rose from the bed to stalk toward her, wearing what I knew was an intimidating expression. While a part of me liked her new defiance, the other half wasn’t willing to give up control. The last thing I needed was for her to think she was free from me. I backed her up until the back of her thighs touched the dresser and then lifted her to sit on the polished top and held her there.

“Your desperate attempt to be someone you’re not is only giving me the ammunition I need to have you at my feet begging for my mercy.”

I took her chin gently in my hand and lifted her face, forcing her to witness the cold manipulation calculating in my eyes.

“You remember what that’s like, don’t you?” A whisper, and then a soft kiss was unexpectedly pressed against her lips. “Only this time, I won’t need to coerce you, force you, or threaten you. You’ll do it for me, baby. Just like you always have.”

* * *

I never thought I’d walk these halls again. Sometimes I thought even I could be a bit dramatic, but the way my already fucked up existence had been spinning on its axis, I was deserving of a few dramatic moments.

The weekend was the longest of my life. It took everything in me to stay away from Monroe. I spent my days dodging Arthur, Mario, and John, while sneaking in and out of the hospital to see Keenan while he was asleep. Not to mention, my unsuccessful search for Mitch in between. For a greedy fuck, he was great at hiding. I guess years of borrowing money from dangerous sources, and failing to pay back what’s due, afforded you particular skills.

“How’s it hanging, man?” Dash greeted as he walked through the front entrance where I was hanging. It was a little early, but I wanted to beat Monroe at her own game. I wanted to know the exact moment when she walked through these doors.

“A little lower and a little to the right…” I stopped short when I realized what I was saying. That was usually Keenan’s line and a standing joke between the two of them. I scowled at Dash, who only smirked at me, unfazed by my anger.

“I miss him, too,” Dash offered.

“What the fuck are you doing, Dash?”

“Not pretending he’s already dead,” he barked.

“Fuck off. I’m not in the mood for your shit.”

“You need to talk to him. You sneak in and out of his hospital room trying to protect him, and yet you haven’t spoken one word to him.”

“How about I put one in your mother’s head and see if you would be ready to engage me in conversation.”

I never saw the blow to my face coming. Hell, I could barely see after his fist impacted with my face, snapping my neck to the right. “Too fucking far,” Dash gritted.

I didn’t apologize. I wouldn’t. He knew that, so I let him have his pound of flesh without retaliating.

“I don’t know what went on in your fucking past, but at some point, you are going to have to man the fuck up and leave it in the past. It’s getting old, man. It’s getting real old. Whoever they made you to be doesn’t have to survive.”

Usually, I didn’t give a shit what someone thought or the invaluable shit they had to say, but he always knew where to strike.

I straightened from the wall and met his eyes, matching his stance. It wasn’t about who the bigger man was. I just needed to see the truth in his eyes.

“How many people have you been forced to kill including your own fucking mother? How many days have you starved? How many nightmares have you had? How many people have you been forced to fuck as a child?”

“None,” he answered in a hard tone. Dash was a hard person to shake. It was one of the reasons why I respected him the most even though I had a shitty way of showing it.

“So, if you ever have to do even one of those things, then you can let me know when it gets old.”

“That was ten years ago, Keiran. If you want to continue to live your life as if you are still someone’s fucking slave, then do so. You’re capable of making your own choices. I’m only allowed to care about you, but at some point, you have to stop inflicting your own personal form of punishment on the people close to you.”

He stalked off and disappeared down the hall.

Dash never usually called me out on my shit, but when he did, it only served to make me angrier. Self-righteous asses like him were what made me hold on tighter to who I was. I gave up on trying to be good a long time ago. It was a hopeless pursuit for people who weren’t born with it. Arthur was the one to teach me that the first time I met him…

I felt like I had bathed in blood. My face, hair, and hands were covered in it, but it didn’t belong to me. The bound, nameless man, whose throat I just cut open, stared up at me with lifeless eyes. Each time I took someone’s life, I would start to feel guilt, and each time, I beat it down. It had been a year now since I made my first kill. I was still considered in ‘training’, as they called it, because of my age and size. Frank said I wouldn’t be ready to be on my own until I was far older, and this was just a mere introduction.

It already felt so very real.

The beginning had been rocky, and I suffered countless beatings. I could never understand what they wanted me to do. Sometimes, even now, it was a little hard to understand. I would do what they ordered me to do when they ordered me to do it.

I didn’t dare tell them about the nightmares. They would see it as a weakness and beat me for it.

I was learning, they called it. I was progressing. I saw kids far away who lived a different life. Sometimes I wondered what that life was like. I would learn about it when they brought in new kids. They would often talk about their parents, siblings, and home. It made me wonder about this life. Was there something better? Didn’t everyone live like this?

“Good job, son. You show much promise.”

An unknown man stepped out of the shadows dressed in a shiny suit. I took in his clean appearance, and the way everyone seemed to snap to attention when he made his presence known and figured he must have been the boss Frank spoke about often.

“Sir?”

“You see that?” he pointed to the dead man who was bleeding out on the floor. “Good people have no place in this world so we must eradicate them. Only the strongest survive, and to be strong, you have to be ruthless and prey on the weak. Do you understand?”

I nodded that I did even though I didn’t. I would ask one of the older kids later.

“You did a good thing here. This man was a rat. He was a disease that had to be cut off before it could spread, and you did that. What is your name, little one?”

“He doesn’t have one,” Frank spoke up. “We just call him slave.”

“Even better,” the man grinned, evilly.  “I’ve heard quite a bit about you. You’re smarter than the rest and willing to work, is what they tell me. Tell me… how do you like our line of business?”

* * *

“Mr. Masters, you’re late. I expected you thirty minutes ago,” Mrs. Gilmore admonished when I stepped foot inside her office. I’d waited for Monroe well past the first bell for class, but she never showed. I sent a quick text to her and told myself I wasn’t worried. I was annoyed that she denied me my morning fix by not showing up.

“Well, I’m here now so say what you have to say and let’s get this shit over with,” I snapped.

I normally wasn’t rude to the school staff, but my patience was long gone. Monroe’s absence was just the thing to send me over the edge.

“All right. You won’t have a future at the rate you’re going this year. When college is no longer an option so is basketball. Lucky for you, you’ve been a somewhat of an outstanding student these past three years… academically. You’ve been jailed twice already, and you are looking to fail another year if you don’t button up. So far, your future is promising if you are looking to pursue a career in the penitentiary. If that is what you want, then a high school diploma isn’t what you need and you are wasting my time. I realize you have a lot going on considering the tragic accident with your cousin—”

“My brother,” I snarled.

“Excuse me?” She stared at me with shock etched on her face.

“He’s my fucking brother. If you are going to talk about my family as if you have a fucking clue, then speak correctly. He’s my brother.”

“Well, I—”

“Never mind all that. Continue. You were telling me how I’m a waste without a future.”

It took her a few moments to pick her face up before she spoke. “Yes, well, not in exactly those words, Mr. Masters. What I am trying to say is you are a smart young man and a leader. Whether you know it or not, there are people who look to you. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your peers?”

What the hell was up with people telling me what I needed to do today? “Well, then, I’d say they have a bad judge of character, and it should be them you need to speak to.”

“Nevertheless, you are on your last strike. There are no more chances, Mr. Masters. I suggest you heed this warning. You may go.”

I didn’t waste any time leaving her office. After her condescending speech, I had half a mind to skip, but that would just be petty. My phone vibrated in my jeans, and I quickly fished it out.

As I recall, my whereabouts are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Kindly fuck off.

I smiled and pocketed my phone without replying. Monroe continued to dig her hole and I let her. When she finally realizes she’s dug too deep, she’ll be too far in to escape. It didn’t stop me from going after her though. I still needed to feed my addiction. It was time to change classes, and so it took me a little longer than I liked as I tried to dodge the unwanted attention and ignore the wary looks from some of the other students. I wasn’t surprised most of them had heard by now how I was suspected of Trevor and Anya’s murder. I was almost sorry I wasn’t the one to do it.

Trevor and his father were planning to lock Monroe away in their basement like a fucking dog and use her in ways she would never survive. Thinking about it had me wanting to bring that motherfucker to life so I could kill him myself. I almost didn’t believe the shit they were planning to do. Not until I did a quick inspection of their house while they were gone which showed me everything I needed to know. They had a mattress pushed in the corner and a chain mounted to the wall to imprison her. Trevor never had any intentions of delivering her to my father. His father wanted revenge against me for convincing his wife to leave his abusive ass. Turns out, his mother wanted to leave years ago but couldn’t escape. She’d been beaten and raped by both father and son for years.

I don’t know what made me help her. To be honest, I couldn’t stand Trevor. I never could. Maybe I did it to hurt him. His mother was able to leave with my assistance and never looked back, not even when he was murdered. I hadn’t heard a peep out of his father since he lost his job. He was still on my to-do list because no way was that sick fuck walking away. I wouldn’t even give him the option to waste himself away by drowning in booze. For Monroe, he will answer to the grim reaper.

I finally caught up to Monroe just before she disappeared in the gym. She must have sensed me because she whipped around and her eyes immediately landed on me.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, unknowingly pushing her breasts up. “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

I didn’t bother to respond as I walked up on her, grabbed her by her delectable throat, and backed her into the gym doors. “I realize you haven’t been owned by me for a while. Believe me, baby. I know it’s been a while—too fucking long, but this shit right here,” I bit her lip and looked deep into her eyes, “will get you into a lot of fucking trouble. Quit acting up.”

“What am I? Your two-year-old?”

“You sure as fuck are acting like it, but I don’t fuck children, so if you keep it up, you’ll never get back into my pants.”

She rolled her eyes. “Woe is me.”

“There’s that mouth again.”

“So what are you going to do ab—”

My lips slamming down on hers cut off the smart remark that would surely get her fucked right against these doors for all to see. There was no way I would let anyone see, though. The hounds were always lurking and ready to sniff around my girl. It was a full-time job beating them away for the last few years and making sure she was none the wiser. The need to possess was even worse now because I had her, and there was no one who fucked like Monroe. No one.

“I don’t hear you.” I kissed and bit down on her bottom lip. She still sported some of the bruising from Friday. I almost grinned when I thought of how she might have explained it to her dear aunt. “Let me hear you say something smart.”

“Something smart,” she whispered and met my eyes challengingly.

Such a fucking handful. Little bitch.

I flipped her around to face the wall and smacked her ass drawing out a shocked squeal from her. The button of her jeans flicked open with my fingers and I worked my leg in between hers, pushing her legs apart. “One might think you want me to fuck you… Is that it? Are you purposely trying to piss me off?”

“Keiran, we’re in a hallway in our school!”

“And yet you keep pushing your ass on my dick.” My hand slid down her pants and cupped her through her panties. Her heat was scorching. I could barely concentrate on what I had come to do. Generally, when I would seek her out for my fix, I would try to humiliate or scare her, but we were playing a different game now. One that affected me just as much as her. Go fucking figure.

“So you think I’m going to just let you fuck me right here?”

“I don’t think that’s an answer you really want. Besides, I can feel how wet you are. I wouldn’t need to persuade you.”

“My body’s betrayal doesn’t change the fact that I despise you.”

My finger slipped inside her panties and entered her heat causing her to lose her breath and grab the wall as an anchor for support. “You feel that?” I asked and added another finger. “The fact that you despise me doesn’t change the way your body betrays you. I could fuck you right here, and you would take it because you want it, and you would love it.”

“What makes you so sure I would love it?” The rhythm of my fingers increased their tempo, making her whimper and beg. Music to my ears.

“Tell me yes, and I will show you.”

“Not here.”

“Fuck.” I was already searching my head for places to drag her off too when we were interrupted.

“Mr. Masters, the bell has already sounded for class… What on Earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my God,” Monroe squeaked. She frantically ripped my hands away, and I cursed the loss of her body. I waited until she fixed her clothing before moving away.

“Miss Monroe,” Principal Lawrence acknowledged disapprovingly. “Don’t you have class?”

“Yes, um, sorry.” She shot me a murderous glare before disappearing inside the gym.

“As I recall, you were ordered not to approach Lake Monroe. Is there any particular reason why you are violating that agreement?”

“None of it concerns you.”

I walked off leaving her baffled. I was pissed that once again, Monroe managed to slip through my fingers.