Текст книги "Fear You"
Автор книги: B. B. Reid
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FEAR YOU
Broken Love Series
BOOK TWO
B.B. Reid
Copyright © 2015 by B.B. Reid
Fear You
All rights reserved.
Editing by Rogena Mitchell-Jones
Proofreading by AmiLynn Hadley
Cover Design by Amanda Simpson of Pixel Mischief Design
Cover Photo by Improvisor from Shutterstock
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the author or publisher constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use the material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained from the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead, are coincidental.
Table of Contents
Dedication
Dear Diary . . .
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Dear Reader . . .
Sneak Peek – Fear Us, By B.B. Reid
Sneak Peek – Project: Killer, by J.L. Beck
Acknowledgments
Also By B.B. Reid
Contact the Author
About B.B. Reid
Dedication
This book is dedicated to every heart out there that believed in this book, this series, and in me.
Dear Diary . . .
It’s been a long time now and I miss my parents. I wish they would change their mind and not leave me behind. Every day I go to my new school and every day he makes me cry. I think I’m supposed to hate him, but all I want to do is help him.
Chapter One
Keiran
Three Weeks Ago
The first forty-eight hours were spent in an interrogation room trying to persuade the moronic detectives I hadn’t tried to kill my own brother.
They were convinced if I didn’t put the bullets in him myself, then I was somehow responsible for what happened to him.
I told them all to get fucked.
The last forty-eight hours were spent looking for Mitch. My fucking father.
I slipped from the black leather seat of my car, and before I could even close the door, I was swarmed.
Endless condolences and questions.
Pats on the back.
Sympathy.
Pity.
It was all unwanted.
The exposure was even more annoying.
My desperation for a distraction overshadowed my better judgment, and before I could rethink it, my attention turned to the nearest hopeful notch.
She batted her eyelashes for the hundredth time, officially going into overkill. She was perfect for what I had in mind.
One flash of a smile and she was instantly on me. Her breasts pressed against my chest when I caught her. My hands instantly sought out her ass, and when I felt the soft globes under my hand, disappointment flared.
Nothing.
Not even a twitch.
This chick made my dick want to deflate and die.
I was thinking of ways to change my mind without embarrassing her because I wasn’t a complete dick… at least not to people who didn’t affect me. It was backward, and it would only make sense to someone who walked in my shoes.
It was a good thing I had lifted my hands when I did, or I would have lost them when the blonde was snatched away and thrown on the ground.
My eyes refused to believe what was taking place before me, but when her fist reeled back, I snapped into action, saving the face of the wide-eyed girl who wasn’t expecting to get her face pummeled for being groped by me.
“What are you doing, Lake?” I managed to keep my tone level while holding onto her wrist for dear life. The rage in her eyes was not to be mistaken. If I hadn’t been so surprised, I would have been turned on.
“What am I doing? What are you doing?” She snatched her arm away and shot me a look meant to maim. My dick jumped in my jeans.
Ah, there it is.
“You disappear for days, and the first time I see you, I find you with your hands all over the nearest skank?”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
It was a lie. I knew what I was doing when I grabbed the girl who had already run off, clutching her head in pain. Who knew little Lake was a scrapper?
“The hell it isn’t, asshole.”
Now that pissed me off. My nostrils flared and the beginnings of a headache stirred. I just needed to do what I came to do and leave. That was the plan. Not feeling up random chicks in the school parking lot and fighting with Lake in the open for everyone to see.
“Let’s go.”
I walked away without looking back, knowing she would follow, and didn’t stop until I reached one of the empty classrooms that served more as an oversized storage closet. I can remember over the years wanting to pull Lake in one of those very rooms and committing forbidden and uncensored acts against her body.
“Where have you been?” she asked as soon as we were inside. I willed my hard-on away and released a breath for patience before responding.
“Look, I’m sorry I disappeared. How are you?”
“Pissed and I don’t know… maybe hurt? Where were you?”
“I had to figure shit out.” I didn’t want to tell her about the two-day interrogation and then my endless search for Mitch because worry was the last thing I wanted to see in her eyes. She had managed to make me care despite my best defenses.
The look she gave me was full of disappointment. “But how could you just leave Keenan alone like that?”
“He isn’t safe as long as my father is out there and he has John.”
“But he needs you too, you’re his bro—”
“Don’t. Don’t say that.” I’ve known since the beginning Keenan was my brother, but it didn’t make others knowing any easier. Especially now. I may have been cold and cruel, but I never wanted Keenan to find out the way he did. Now I was forced to wait while my brother died in some fucking hospital to see how much damage I’d caused or if he would forgive me.
“Did you know all this time?”
“Yes.” I could tell it shocked her.
“How?”
“I saw her picture on Keenan’s nightstand the day John brought me home. He said she was his mother.”
My heart started pounding just as it had the day I discovered my mother had another child. One she loved enough to keep. At least that’s what I felt then. I don’t know what to feel now except confusion. I sure as hell didn’t like the vulnerability it created.
“What did they make you do?” The drastic change in subject didn’t go unnoticed. Parents were a sore spot for her though she cared enough to hide her pain.
Just like her parents were a taboo topic for her, talking about my days of enslavement was or should have been forbidden. After spending time in my father’s company, I felt like I owed her at least a condensed explanation. I would never be able to bare myself enough to reveal everything. Besides, after today, I was letting her go.
“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, anyway.” I ignored the increasing pain in my chest. No amount of mental preparation could make what I had to do any easier. “I made my first kill for them when I was six.”
“How? You were so young.”
She stared at me in disbelief. I wasn’t surprised by her reaction. No one was willing to believe in anything other than the perfect image of innocence that children projected, but with the right conditioning… anything was possible. After all, ignorance is a person’s greatest enemy. It makes you weak and vulnerable, but it’s better received than knowing because no one wants to allow the darkness of the world to enter their lives. So, instead, they choose to ignore what’s happening right in front of them.
“It’s amazing what you’re willing to do when you’re starving and don’t know a way out. They used anything they could in order to control us. Before long, I stopped noticing the hunger pains or thirst, and the scars healed before I knew they were even there.”
The way I grew up those first eight years put a new meaning to the idea of a privileged lifestyle. Compared to what I endured, kids on the streets near our homes were considered privileged.
I could see the questions in her eyes along with the pity, but thankfully, she didn’t interrupt. “They started me off small. First, it was other kids they wanted me to punish until I made my way up to adults. After two years of training to be a murderer, I became one of their best students. I was a fucking eight-year-old kid. I stopped thinking, and I stopped feeling. It kept me alive.”
“That isn’t living,” she argued.
“How would you know?”
My defenses went up at the look in her eyes and the way she spoke those words. She was judging my choice to live rather than die. Sometimes I wondered why I didn’t give up. Was it hope for a life that I’d never known, but only heard of from the others that kept me going?
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I could only nod and continue. Looking at her standing there, I could picture Lily. Always Lily. Lake was her ghost and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t disconnect them.
“She came in the middle of the night like a bad fucking dream.” I stared at her, imprinting her to memory as I recounted the night my fate was sealed. “Just like you, except you were much more real. I spent weeks ignoring her while they beat her endlessly. She was so small and so innocent. I thought she was weak when she wouldn’t do what she needed to survive. One day, I guess the hunger overrode her fear. One of the runners caught her digging through the trash for food and he beat her. He beat her so badly that day, I finally did something I shouldn’t have.”
“What did you do?”
“I stopped him from caving her head in with the heel of his boot as if she was nothing.” I shook my head to escape from being trapped in the too real memory. “Two years of work went down the drain because of one wrong move. I still didn’t regret it, at least not at first. She clung to me after that and looked to me as her protector. Every day I took her beatings and mine and often, I was too weak to make any kills so they became crueler. I began to hate her after a while. I blamed her for making me weak again even though all she wanted me to do was care about her. I didn’t want to care so I don’t know why I helped her. I just did.”
I was sitting down at a desk before I realized I had even moved. I dug my fingers in my fist for the pain—to remind myself that I was alive.
“What happened to her?”
“One day after a run, they told me I had a job to do, one that would cost me my life if I didn’t do it. What they didn’t know was I didn’t care if I lived or died, but I accepted anyway. They took me to a room I’d never seen before. Lily was there, waiting. She was naked and crying, and I saw the bruises and gashes all over her body.”
“Why was she naked?”
“They wanted me to—we had—they wanted me to fuck her for some sick fantasy a lot of sick, old fucks were paying a shit load of money to get on camera.”
“Oh, God, Keiran…”
I didn’t let her finish. I rushed through so I wouldn’t have to hear her words of pity. I didn’t need another reminder of what I almost became wasn’t supposed to happen. “She looked so broken, and I could tell she had nothing left. I couldn’t do it. Out of all the jobs and people I’d hurt, this was something I couldn’t do. That’s why I was relieved when she asked me to do it.”
“Do what?”
“To save her.”
“But you were in danger, too.”
I finally met her eyes. “I didn’t care what happened to me.”
“How could you have saved her?”
“The only way that mattered.” The horrified look in her eyes told me I wouldn’t have to explain.
“I took away her pain, and I took away her fear. I went to her, and I laid her down and closed her eyes. In that space of time, I tried to find another way, but in the end, I kept coming back to the same answer.”
“You were only a child.”
“I was never a child, Lake. For ten years, my decision has haunted me. When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were Lily, and then I thought I was hallucinating. You looked just like her. But when I finally realized it wasn’t her, I knew I was being punished. You reminded me so much of her.” I couldn’t stop myself from asking my next question. It didn’t matter how much it exposed me. “Are you here to punish me?”
“I never wanted to punish you, Keiran.” I didn’t miss the look of surprise that flashed over her features.
“I think I was punishing myself and looking for someone to blame.” That was only partly true, but how did I tell her I had punished her because of a ghost?
“Did you love her?”
What the hell?
“No.”
It took everything in me not to scream my denial. What I felt for Lily was the need to protect the small light I had in my dark, dark world. What I felt for Lake was… indescribable but I knew without having to define it that it was dangerous.
“Because you don’t believe in love?”
Wrong. It was because someone like me would never be capable of love, but still I asked, “Would you?”
“How did your father get you back?” she asked instead. “Wouldn’t they have killed you when you ruined their plans?”
“I wasn’t killed for disobeying them by a stroke of luck named Mario. It seems his only vice was child prostitution and pornography. He saved me from being killed and severed his business ties with his partner shortly after. However, not before leaving me a way to contact him if I ever needed anything or, more so, if I ever wanted to work for him. I didn’t fool myself to think he cared.”
“And your father?”
“A couple of weeks after Lily died, I was snuck from the compound by one of the runners my father had in his pocket.” It just went to show anyone could be bought for even the smallest of prices. If my father was broke, then I knew what he paid the runner was next to nothing.
“I was with Mitch for a week before Sophia showed up, though. I didn’t know who she was—not at first. He told me who he was right away. I didn’t know who she was until after she died.”
“Did you really kill her?”
“Yes.” I watched the hope die in her eyes and gritted my teeth. She wasn’t supposed to have any expectations of me. I am still the monster hiding under her bed.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
“Because she was innocent.”
“Was she?” Lake spent hours with Mitch, and in that time, I knew he talked. At this very moment, I probably knew less about my mother than she did, but it didn’t mean she knew her enough to proclaim her innocence. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t interested.
“But—”
I cut her off, causing her to jump at my harsh tone. “There is no such thing as innocence. How many mothers do you know who would let their child be taken without even trying?”
“So you killed her because of it?” she snarled.
“I didn’t know she was my mother when I put the fucking bullet through her fucking skull.”
She shook her head and looked away. “Are you even sorry for it?”
“I don’t regret what I can’t fix. She’s dead.” I felt my breathing quicken and my palms grow steady. I needed out and fast. “You don’t come back from that.”
I stood up and rushed for the door. She quickly caught on to my intention to leave and attempted to stop me.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m done talking.”
“But what about Mitch? He knows where you are now. He knows where all of us are.”
“I know.” My hand was on the door, ready to escape, but I couldn’t resist looking at her one more time. “You were almost killed because of me. I do regret that, which means I can fix it.”
“How are you going to fix it?” I could hear the suspicion in her tone.
I opened the door and finally forced out the words that before had been caught in my chest where a heart was supposed to be. “I’m letting you go.”
I quickly closed the door causing it to slam. I wouldn’t be able to look into her eyes and follow through. My fist gripped the doorknob once and finally let go. It was done. I could walk away now.
I should have known she wouldn’t let me.
I was barely five feet from the door before I heard her voice full of pain shout at me.
“So that’s it then?” Those in the hallway, along with time, stopped to watch us unfold.
I reluctantly turned back. It was a mistake I would regret for the rest of my life. When I looked into her eyes, I saw something I hoped never to see—even when I hated her.
“That’s all I’m willing to give you.”
I felt her indrawn breath even from a few feet away. She hardened her jaw but still, the tears glistened, ready to spill over and mark me forever.
“You torment me for ten years, fuck me silly for the past two months, and make me fall in love with you. Then, if that’s not enough, you almost get me killed because of your asshat dad, and you think you can just walk away because you think it’s the right thing to do?”
“I don’t give a fuck about what’s right.” At least that was true. If I cared about what was right, I wouldn’t be having thoughts of running away with her and stealing her future forever. “It’s safer this way.”
“Says who?”
“Says my brother who is lying in the hospital fighting for his life because of me!”
Fuck. I didn’t mean to yell at her. I didn’t care that I had just revealed my real relation to Keenan.
I wanted the blow to be as soft as possible. I did enough damage to her.
A part of me knew it wouldn’t be easy, but my mind told me she would only be happy if I were out of her life permanently.
“So you’re going to walk away from him, too?”
No, just you, baby.
Keenan’s blood tied him to me and to the danger that followed me. There was no reversing it.
“If that’s what it takes,” I lied. “He’s still out there.”
“Because you chose to save your brother’s life!”
How did she know?
It was dark. Dust was everywhere. Those moments when I couldn’t find her in the dark were the scariest of my life.
No, she couldn’t know.
“You love your brother, Keiran…” She moved closer, making me feel like cornered prey. “…and you love me or else you wouldn’t care.”
Love? Did I love Lake Monroe?
Oh, fuck no.
I couldn’t.
It wasn’t possible.
I shook my head in denial and turned to go.
My back erupted in pain as something hard and round hit and bounced off it. Before I could determine the source, she was on me, pushing with desperate hands. Tears clouded her vision before trailing down her face. I wanted to kiss every single one away. I wanted them gone. I wished I’d never made her cry.
“You don’t just get to walk away.”
She beat on my chest, and though her hits weren’t strong enough to do physical damage, I felt every single one and fuck if it didn’t hurt.
“You don’t get to leave.” All I could do was move back from the onslaught of Lake at her weakest and most vulnerable.
“You can’t,” she whispered out of breath. Her body trembled uncontrollably. I needed to stop her before she hurt herself.
I lowered my lips until they were centered right above hers. I would miss kissing those lips.
“I… don’t… want… you.”
I went too far.
I pushed her away.
Literally.
I had to watch her fall and know I couldn’t do anything to break her fall. The laughter that sounded around us brought forth a murderous rage. I had to leave before I made things worse.
As I turned to go, I spotted Quentin standing nearby, watching silently. I locked eyes with him and silently sent him an order.
Help her.
Chapter Two
Keiran
November
I’m going to wring her fucking neck.
Of course, it probably wasn’t the poor fuck’s fault whose neck I currently had my hands wrapped around. He just happened to be in my line of fire when I grew sick of smelling her, feeling her, and seeing her stupid fucking eyes taunting me in my head when I couldn’t have her.
Fuck.
I squeezed harder.
“Inmate 960, let go of the other inmate, now!” I heard the command loud and clear behind me, but couldn’t care less. They were all scared to come in here so they talked shit behind the safety of the bars. Pussies.
“Come on, young blood, you don’t want to give them a reason to keep you in here. Keep it together,” the gruff voice of a well-respected, older inmate said.
Right, I was locked up again.
Only this time, I wasn’t in juvie.
I was heading to the real deal if this shit stuck.
Prison.
I wouldn’t see the light of day for a very long time, and she could escape me forever.
Funny how that last one made me want to let go. Only I was a second too late as I felt the electric volts pass through my body just as I let go of my cellmate’s neck. My muscles locked up, and all I could do was grunt as I hit the floor, counting the seconds until it was over. It lasted ten seconds but felt more like ten lifetimes. I guess I deserved that. I looked over at the form of my still gasping cellmate as he tried to catch his breath.
My calves where they hit me burned, and I felt a little weak in the knees when I tried to stand. I let out a laugh when I remembered a promise a certain someone made me when I entered here for the first time.
I guess she kept her promise in a roundabout way, and I wondered what made me hard more—thinking about the feeling of her pussy or the fact that she finally fought back.
Dash said my obsession with her was unhealthy. He might be right, but it didn’t mean I had to give a shit. She was mine. But when I saw her face again, I wondered who really owned who. I willed my erection away by thinking of any and everything other than her.
“Somebody get him out of there,” one of the guards ordered. I prepared myself for a fight because the one thing I hated was someone thinking I could be handled. When the guard cautiously bypassed me and grabbed onto Billy, my unfortunate cellmate, I relaxed.
I probably shouldn’t have attacked him for simply admiring a picture but three minutes ago, you couldn’t have told me it wasn’t justified. It was who he was admiring in the picture that set me off. It was the picture of her I swiped the morning after our date.
I don’t know what made me take the picture of her. I just knew I had to have it. I carried it everywhere, always, and didn’t even realize when I’d stopped clinging to Lily’s necklace. She looked happy in the photo, and my gut told me it was taken while I was gone. My throat burned, and my fingers dug into my fists thinking about her being happy. I don’t want her happy… I want her to pay.
Truth is, as much as I really wanted her to pay for making me feel, when the time had come, I couldn’t bring myself to be as ruthless as I was taught. I know some people would think what I’d done was more than evil, but I could and should have done much worse. It was a mistake I made, and I won’t be making it again. This time I wasn’t going to hold back.
Monroe was going to feel me—all the pain, hatred, and anger I was going to give to her, one way or another.
Fuck, I’m hard again.
***
“What’s happening to you, young blood? I thought you had better sense than these knuckleheads in here,” Rufus, the older inmate from this morning, gruffly scolded as he sat down with his tray next to me.
It had been a few hours since the incident this morning, and surprisingly, I escaped it unscathed minus the tazing. Now I was enduring lunch chow, which was food I wouldn’t even insult my dog with if I had a dog.
“Your faith in me is misplaced and unwanted,” I responded. No matter how much I was a dick to the guy, he always came back for more. It reminded me a lot of how Dash and I became friends. I didn’t want friends, but he was intent on showing me he wasn’t afraid of me, which was kind of fucking funny.
The older inmate chuckled, forcing my attention back to him. He rubbed his fingers across his lips, and I took in the markings above his knuckles. I couldn’t really make out whatever the hell it was supposed to mean, but I knew instantly he was a member of a gang. I had run across plenty of them and was even made to kill a few in training. It seemed like a whole lifetime ago. I also knew this guy wasn’t from around here so he must have gotten caught up.
“I’m not your enemy, and I’m not trying to be, but I imagine you had someone on the outside who kept you levelheaded.”
“Yeah, he had a problem getting lost, too.”
“Well, consider me your guardian angel.”
“Why?” I asked. My suspicion and ire rose simultaneously.
“Because you need one, and I hate to see kids fall because they’re too stupid to know when they need to stand down.”
“Is that why you’re in here?” I asked sarcastically.
“You can say that. But I’m not a kid anymore either. It’s too late for me, but not for you.” I turned back to my tray of untouched food and dug in. “Why are you in here,” he asked after a few moments of silent eating.
“Suspicion of murder.”
“So if you made it past the holding cell, I imagine they have some kind of evidence on you.”
“A witness,” I answered, and immediately wondered why I was confiding in him.
“That can be eradicated.” He shrugged.
“Not this one,” I said, hearing the dangerous tone of my own voice. The thought of someone hurting Monroe brought out a protective instinct in me that I hadn’t been able to feel since Lily. The irony of it did not escape me.
“Family?” he asked with raised brows.
“No, she’s—” I hesitated because it wasn’t easy describing Monroe and what she was to me. “I go to school with her,” I finished.
“Girl, huh? She important to you?”
“No.” I reached for my water and chugged it down. I knew what a lie tasted like. I washed the bitter taste down and then shoved a fork full of… I don’t even know what it is.
“Son, you mean to tell me you’re willing to go to prison for a girl you don’t care for?”
“It’s complicated,” I barked, taking a bite of my food to keep from saying more.
“Love always is, young blood.” Reflex, or whatever the fuck you call it, made me swallow down my food a little too quickly, causing me to choke. Rufus’s heavy hand slammed down on my back repeatedly until I was no longer being assaulted by my own fucking food. “So I guess that means it is serious?” he laughed outrageously.
I clutched my tray and considered hitting him across the face with it. I let go after a few deep breaths because it wasn’t exactly wise to insult what could be my only ally until I got out of here. If I get out here.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t able to trust people—I wasn’t willing. Why let anyone in when the majority of the people I met I would be likely to kill just because it suited me?
Maybe Monroe was right and I was sick. I could tell she wanted to fix me. I could see it in her eyes. She looked at me with hope and… something else. I didn’t bother to tell her my sickness couldn’t be fixed. There wasn’t a cure other than death, and I don’t plan to die anytime soon.
One thing was certain though—I do not love Lake Monroe.
“So what’s your story, kid?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because you never know what can come of telling someone your story. Could be good. It could be bad. It all comes around anyway.”
“I’m not interested.”
“Try me, anyway.”
***
Twelve Years Ago
“You,” the burly man with an enormous amount of facial hair pointed at me with a chubby finger, “get dressed. Your training starts today.”
“Training?” I asked while trying to hide the fear I felt. I saw what happened to the others who showed fear. They were beaten, starved, or just disappeared.
“It’s your lucky day. You get to start earning your keep and maybe we’ll even feed you more.” He laughed hard causing his belly to shake.
“Wha—what do I have to do?” The man’s eyes narrowed as he peered down at me cowering on my hard, stained cot. It wouldn’t be so bad if they let us have sheets or a blanket, but they said we didn’t deserve it yet.
“Are you scared, little boy?” he snarled.
“No, sir,” I quickly answered and jumped to my feet.
“Good.” He grinned. “Because today you get to learn how precious life is and how fun it is to take it.”
* * *
Present Day
I jerked awake, covered in sweat and filled with anger. The blanket and sheets were balled up at the foot of the bed as usual. I rarely felt the need to cover myself when I slept. I snatched the corner of the cover up to my face and wiped off the perspiration, fighting to relax my aching jaw muscles. I must have clenched them in my sleep again.
I shook off the remnants of sleep and what was left of my memories of Frank. He was an evil son-of-a-bitch, and now he was a dead son-of-a-bitch. He was the only person I’d ever killed willingly. As usual, I waited for the feeling of guilt or remorse I should have felt but never did.
I felt the onslaught of the familiar yet intense need for Monroe, and when I get her, I will do one of two things—kill her or fuck her.
