Текст книги "Infatuation"

Автор книги: River Savage

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

Fifteen

Mackenzie

“Please, tell me this did not actually happen?” I laugh at Kadence’s reaction as Holly relays a story involving Nix, Valentine’s Day and Viagra.

“Oh, it happened,” Kadence answers, laughing just as hard as the rest of us.

It’s a Friday evening, five nights after my tense encounter with Beau where he told me he wanted me as much as I wanted him but wouldn’t act on it.

I had planned on having a quiet night in until Beau was called into work, and he didn’t want to leave me alone, so I told him I would call Kelly over to keep me company. She showed up with alcohol, Kadence, Holly, and Bell, turning my quiet night into a girls’ night.

“So what did you do?” I take another sip of my drink, my third for the night, and I sit back in the chair I now call my own. I know it’s not really mine, but I’ve claimed it as my own whenever I sit down to watch TV or read a book, it’s the comfiest spot.

“We had to go to the ER. It was so embarrassing. Everyone knew.” Kadence giggles, hiding her face in her hands.

“I can’t even imagine.” I laugh along with them, picturing it all play out.

“Enough about us. We want some gossip on you.” Kelly leans forward and tops up her cocktail.

“What? I don’t have any gossip.” A warm blush creeps up my neck and four sets of eyes fall on me.

“Girl, you’re hot gossip at the moment. Don’t leave us hanging,” Kadence encourages, and I almost feel disappointed I have nothing to gossip about with them.

“I swear, I have nothing.” I shrug, those four sets of eyes, fading from excitement to suspicion.

There is no way I can tell them what has or rather hasn’t happened between Beau and me.

“You mean to tell me, you’ve been living under this roof, living in your own bubble with no interruptions, no nosey club members to cramp your style and you have nothing to share?”

“Believe me, if I had something to share, I would.” I let out a huff at my own displeasure.

Ever since that night when Beau told me what he wanted to do to me, then told me we can’t, he has been reserved, keeping to himself and staying clear of me. It’s been tense and somewhat awkward, but I’m trying to put it behind me with hopes maybe things might change.

“So you do like him. I knew it!” Holly stands to raise her glass.

“Sit down, fool. We all knew she liked him.” Kadence rolls her eyes and turns back to me.

“So what’s the issue? He’s too moody?”

I laugh at her question only to find them all staring back at me blankly. “Beau is not moody. He’s just composed,” I defend him, watching as each of them share a look.

“Girl, the man is so moody, some days I wonder if he’s PMSing on the same cycle as me,” Kadence fires, and I can’t help but laugh along with them.

“He’s not that bad.” I shrug, not seeing Beau the way they do. He’s direct and quiet, but moody? No.

“We have bets to see how many words he can say sometimes. I think the most I’ve ever heard in one night was fifteen. Fifteen, Kenz. Fifteen.” Kelly shakes her head, disturbed by the number.

“He talks to me,” I offer, hoping to show them he’s not the moody asshole they seem to think he is.

“Yeah, ‘cause he likes you, probably wants to tie you up and spank you.” Bell’s hand slaps over her mouth just as fast as the words leave her lips.

Oh, God, did everyone know about Beau and his wants but me?

“What. Do. You. Know?” Kadence turns to face the younger woman, whose eyes are practically falling out of her head.

“Oh, God. No, nothing. I know nothing.” She shakes her head, denying it as much as a kid caught with his hand in the candy jar would.

“Bullshit. Don’t you dare hold out on us,” Kelly pushes this time.

“I can’t say. I wasn’t meant to say. Oh, I’m gonna be in so much trouble.” Bell starts rocking.

The thought of her knowing something she isn’t supposed to doesn’t sit well with me. A spark of jealousy settles in me. What does she know?

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag now. Just spill,” Kelly adds, just as eager to know.

“Shit, guys.” Bell stands and starts pacing.

“If it’s bad, you shouldn’t say.” I try to pull the conversation back, not wanting to know.

“It’s not bad, bad. Just, I was sworn to secrecy. And now I’ve gone and blabbed.”

“What if we guess?” Kadence asks, offering her a way out of her guilt.

“Yeah, okay. If you guess correctly, I’ll just nod, that way I’m not actually telling anything.” I nearly laugh at how serious Bell’s taking this.

“Let me guess. Beau is the kinky fuck who tied Lissy up, spanked the fuck out of her ass while we were in Vegas.” I spit my drink at Holly’s guess and watch all color drain from Bell’s face.

Lissy? Oh, my God. This is worse. He’s had sex with Lissy. Is he still having sex with her? Is that why he doesn’t want more from me?

“How did you know?” Bell sits, her hands moving back to her mouth. “Shit.”

“’Cause Lissy told me.” Holly shrugs, a slow smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “She didn’t swear me to secrecy, so we’re cool,” she assures Bell before turning back to me.

“Are they still?” I stop to think how to phrase it. I’ve met Lissy a couple of times in the last two months. She’s a little crazy and loud, but a nice girl. I never once suspected her and Beau had or even have a fling.

“Oh no. It was a one-time deal. You know Lissy, she’s just having fun. You have nothing to worry about. It’s all in the past.” I look at Bell, silently pleading with her to stop.

“Why, do you have a taste for kink, Mackenzie?” I fight the blush that runs over my face and offer Holly my innocent look.

If only they knew.

“I don’t have a taste for anything.” I clear my throat and push all images of a naked Beau spanking Lissy out of my head.

“I bet ya that’s why he hasn’t made his move. Innocent Mackenzie is messing him up.” Holly, oblivious to my panic, starts running through all the scenarios. Jesus, is this woman psychic?

“Beau just isn’t interested in me, guys.” I try to put out the fire they started with their questions and let them down easy. It’s not like I can tell them he wants me, but because of my past is too afraid to go there, and I was too clueless to understand any of this until I practically begged him.

Yeah, I’m a hot mess.

“Are you deaf, blind and stupid?” Kadence asks this time. “The man is so into you, I’m concerned for his own health.”

“I kissed him then kind of freaked out. Now he says we can’t go there, and I’ve tried to forget about it ever since.” This time I slap my hand over my mouth, realizing I just revealed too much.

“HA! I knew it.” Kelly stands, dances in her spot then holds her hand out. “Pay up, bitches.” She waits patiently as Kadence, Holly and Bell place ten-dollar bills in her hand.

“You made a bet?” I ask, not sure if I should be offended or laugh along with them.

“You’ll get used to them, don’t worry,” Bell offers and for reasons I can’t explain, I believe her.

Yeah, they’re crazy, brash, loud and over the top, but it’s not all there is to them. They’re kind, funny and caring. They opened their lives to accommodate me, look after me, and now in such a short time, accepted me as a friend. I’m more than lucky to have them in my life, especially when I still have no idea if Heidi is in hiding or if Chad has done something to her.

“So what was the bet, then?” I ask, wanting to know the odds.

“Well, I bet you had already fucked each other’s brains out.” Holly shrugs, before taking a sip of her drink. “You could have taken one for the team, babe.” She winks and I laugh.

“I bet you hadn’t done anything,” Kadence adds, not at all worried she lost out.

“And I bet you made it to second base.” Bell blushes a little and I want to say sorry I couldn’t take it further for her.

“And I, of course, won the bet,” Kelly says, counting her money.

“Huh.” I look at each of them, still not sure what to say.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Kadence asks, looking a little guilty.

“No, I’m just trying to figure out how I can get in on these bets.” I smile, setting her at ease. I’m not mad; I knew there were whispers about us. Who wouldn’t talk?

“Well, we have a pool for when Bell announces she’s getting married.” Holly offers.

“What? You do?” Bell shouts, not clued in on the bet.

“Yeah, I lost out already.” Holly clearly has high hopes for everyone getting it on and getting married.

“Okay, well, can I be in on that one?” I ask, trying to figure out when she and Jesse would want to settle down. I know they just started living together, but I might have an advantage here.

“Yeah, the pool is at two hundred.” Kelly smiles, ignoring Bell’s shock.

“Okay, I bet $50 they’re engaged by Thanksgiving.” My mind goes back to the morning Jesse taught me or should I say tried to teach me how to make an omelet and I remember Jackson telling Jesse he needed to put a ring on Bell’s finger. He said soon and dropped the subject just as quick.

“Done. Locked in.”

I turn to look at Bell and watch a knowing smile spread across her face.

“What?” I question, wonder what she’s hiding.

“Nothing.” She shrugs but I caught it. She’s keeping something. I just hope it doesn’t happen until Thanksgiving.

I could do with $200.

“Ugggh.” I wake up the next morning to the smell of coffee and bacon. Normally, this combination would have me rolling out of bed eager to start my day. But after the six cocktails I consumed last night, my head and my stomach are telling me otherwise.

“You awake?” The deep voice of Beau echoes around my head, causing me to flinch in pain.

“Don’t yell so loud.” I pull my pillow over my face and try to block out the daylight.

“Come on. Up you get, you’ve slept the whole day away.” I peek out the side of the pillow and check the time.

Just after twelve.

Holy crap, he’s right. I’ve slept half the day away.

“I want to die.” I groan, my stomach rolling in protest.

“I made you something to eat. You’ll feel better with something in your stomach.”

“Can’t move. Dying. Send for help.” I ignore his chuckle and force my eyes closed. Maybe if I sleep some more, I’ll wake up not feeling like death.

“I am the help.” The blanket is ripped off me and I’m thankful I’m still wearing the clothes I wore last night and not my scandalous nightgown.

“Beau,” I complain, but before I can say anymore, Beau has me up and out of bed in his arms.

At first I freeze, but then I realize nothing is going to change, so I push hope out of my head and relax.

We’re just friends.

“If I puke on you, it’s your own fault.” I bury my head into his chest, still not ready to face the day. His shirt smells like pine and a hint of lacquer.

“If you puke on me, darlin’, you’re getting in the shower to clean me up,” he replies and my stomach does that dip thingy that happens just as you free fall on a roller coaster. “Shit, sorry,” he quickly adds, realizing his slip.

Ugggh, this is why it’s hard to move on when he oversteps the friend line.

“Why do you smell like pine?” I change the subject, not because I don’t want to shower with Beau, because I do. But talking about it anymore than I have to will only make things worse.

“Why do you smell like vanilla one day and strawberry the next?” he counters my question with his own.

“’Cause I use two different body washes,” I answer as he places me on the kitchen counter.

“Why do you have two different body washes?” He hands me a mug of black coffee, just how I like it, and refills his own.

“I like to keep it fresh. Spice things up.” He lets out a low chuckle at my answer but doesn’t comment any further.

“So why do you smell like pine?” I ask again, wanting to know why he really smells like he took a bath in lacquer.

“I re-varnished the porch swing.” He steps up to the stove and begins to fill up a plate with eggs and bacon.

“You did?” I slide off the counter and walk out to the front porch. I throw open the door and walk out to the swing. The faded peeled wood has been sanded back and now shines with new varnish.

“Came out good.” I turn back to see Beau standing at the door watching me.

“Yeah, it looks great. When will it be ready?”

“Tomorrow it should be good to go. I know how much you like sitting out here and reading.”

“You did this for me?” I spin back, trying to gauge his reaction.

“No, been meaning to do it for a while. Had the time today.” He turns and walks back inside like it’s no big deal.

He so fixed it up for me.

I follow him inside and take my seat back on the counter. I don’t push the swing, not wanting to make a big deal, but I can’t help smile about it. It’s a small gesture, but to me, it’s huge.

“What time did you come in?” I watch him carefully as he hands me my plate. I don’t bother moving to the table. My appetite’s coming back, so I dig in right away.

“You don’t remember?” He takes my plate out of my hands and brings it to the table. I only pout for a second before following the food.

He’s bossy even without words.

“No. I remember the girls leaving, Holly was last to go then I started to clean up. The rest is blank.”

“I got in around midnight. You were passed out on the sofa.”

“I was?” I look up, trying to remember. Shit, yes. I sat down when the room started to spin. I must have fallen asleep.

“You snore when you’re drunk,” he teases between mouthfuls of food.

“I do not.” I hide my face behind my coffee cup.

“You do. You even drooled a little.” He wipes his mouth, showing me how much I dribbled. My eyes must convey my horror because he starts laughing.

“You’re lying.” I don’t believe him. No way.

“I’m not lying, darlin’. You were snoring, drooling, and even mumbling in your sleep.” My head hits the table, as his laughter grows louder.

“Stop, just stop.” I look up and watch him enjoying himself way too much.

“Okay, so you don’t want to know what you proposed when I managed to put you to bed?”

I don’t answer, his laughter telling me it’s just as bad, if not worse. Instead of stressing about what I might and might not have said, I finish my breakfast, top up my coffee then take my ass to my favorite chair and decide to wallow for the rest of the day.

I’m never drinking again.

Sixteen

Beau

“So, how’s Mackenzie settling in?” Holly asks a couple of weeks later at a Friday night club BBQ. Nix had called a club meet earlier to discuss some shit with the Warriors and follow up on how Chad is still completely off the grid. Not one sighting. How the fuck it’s even possible I have no idea and I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it’s starting to look like he’s not going to make a move.

“She’s okay,” I answer and take another sip of my beer. I should probably be heading out, but tonight I’m finding it hard to go home. The last few weeks of having Kenzie in my home haven’t been easy. Especially after the night I told her just what I wanted to do with her.

The first few days after that evening were quiet, both of us treading carefully, but just like everything else, time has healed things and now it’s like we’re back to normal.

An ordinary Hell that leaves me not wanting to go home most nights.

It’s not that I don’t want her there. Fuck, far from it. She cooks dinner every night, keeps the place tidy, and last week even started on bringing back the garden I’ve managed to kill off.

The problem is more than all those issues. It’s knowing she sleeps next door to me every night, a thin wall the only thing separating us. It’s the showers every morning that force me to jack off to stop me from kicking the door down to join her. It’s the fucking nightie she continues to walk around in every night. The same one I told her not to fucking wear. It’s every single day knowing this woman, who wants me just as much as I want her, is so damn perfect, I know I can’t ruin her.

She’s driving me crazy, but it doesn’t stop me from going out of my way to find ways to talk to her, sit with her and even watch the stupid shows she likes to watch. I even went as far as fixing up the damn porch swing for her.

I’m twisted up over pussy and I’m not even fucking her.

“I’m surprised she’s not here,” Kelly continues to question me, only making my pissed-off mood darker.

“She worked earlier and decided to go home,” I answer, still not sure why I’m annoyed she didn’t want to hang back with us. I thought she would eventually get used to the club, the parties, and women, but it doesn’t seem she wants to. Not yet anyway.

“How about you? Are you doing okay?” Holly asks.

“I’m fine, Holly.” I let out a frustrated breath. It’s not like I want to be an asshole to her. I just don’t want to fucking talk about Mackenzie when I’m wound so tight.

Maybe I need my dick wet? Fuck her out of my head.

“Hey, Beau.” Lissy, Bell’s friend, interrupts my thoughts and takes a seat next to me.

“Hey.” I keep my eyes on my beer, the irony she just sat down not lost on me.

“Wanna get out of here?” She leans in closer so no one can hear. That’s Lissy, straight to the point.

Like me.

I think it over for a bit. Maybe it would help? I haven’t fucked anyone since Mackenzie came back into my life, maybe it will help break this connection we can’t seem to shake. It would be easy. Lissy and I spent a night together in Vegas a few months back. She knows what I like and clearly knows my tastes.

I look up and catch Holly watching. She looks away before I can tell her to fuck off.

“Nope, not tonight,” I reply to Lissy, my eyes on Holly. Lissy doesn’t say anything, not bothered by my rejection and again, I kick myself for knocking her back.

Fucking hell, what the fuck is wrong with me?

“I’m out for the night. See ya’ll tomorrow.” I stand and give a few head nods around the table before making my way around the clubhouse to my bike. I need out of here before I lose my cool.

“Beau, wait up,” Lissy calls out as I make it around the front and mount my ride.

“Lissy, don’t. You knew the fucking score back in Vegas. It was one time, not gonna happen again.” My tone isn’t nice, but she doesn’t seem fazed.

“I know, of course. I just wanted to say sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It’s why I followed you around here.” I look at her for a minute. She was a good fuck, into everything I put her through, but staring at her now, my head and my dick know she’s not what I want. Not what I fucking crave.

“No problem,” I finally say and start my bike up. The rumble of the pipes cut off anything else she could possibly want to say.

With one final head nod, I back out and take off, hoping a ride clears some of my head and I decide right then to take the long route home.

Maybe it’s not such a good idea to have Mackenzie in my space anymore if it’s messing with me so much.

But it’s not like I could ask her to leave.

I could send her back to the clubhouse?

No, there’s no way she would go for it, especially after demanding she move in with me. No fucking way.

After riding for over an hour, and no closer to coming to a decision, I pull up out front of my house, kick the stand down and climb off. The front porch light is switched off, but the kitchen light still glows, so I know she’s still awake.

“You’re home?” Mackenzie looks up from the porch swing when I climb the stairs.

“Jesus, darlin’, didn’t see you there.” I take stock of where she’s sitting and try to curb my displeasure that she’s out here in the dark.

“Sorry, was just enjoying the cooler air.” She pushes a blanket off her legs and stands.

“What the hell you doing out here in the dark?” I scold when I see her in her fucking nightgown.

Fuck me, she’s trying to kill me again.

The fabric molds to her body and exposes her erect nipples for the world to see.

Fuck, think of puppies, and babies. Puppies and babies.

“I’m fine, Beau. Relax.” She bends and picks up a mug, and then walks to the front door. I don’t fight her anymore on the subject because truthfully, I don’t have the energy. The woman fights me on everything and tonight I just don’t have it in me.

“You had dinner?” I ask, watching her walk into the kitchen. Her hips sway as she walks, drawing me in like some sort of siren.

I stay back kicking my boots off at the front and dropping my helmet on the table next to the door.

“Yeah, there’s leftovers in the fridge.” She looks up from washing out her mug when I make it to the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I head for the fridge, suddenly pretty fucking hungry.

“How was your night?” She pulls herself up on the counter, watching me dig into some chicken pie dish.

“All right. You should have stayed. The girls wanted to talk some girly shit with you,” I tell her with a mouth full of food.

“Umm, the parties get pretty full on.” She picks at a thread on her nightgown and looks up.

“Does it still make you uncomfortable?” I place my plate on the counter and pull a bottle of beer out of the fridge.

“No, it doesn’t bother me at all. Just didn’t want to see some things.”

“What things?” I push, not sure what she’s getting at.

“Well, you know, what you do is your thing and I respect that. I just didn’t want to risk seeing something I’m not sure I’d be able to handle.”

“You think I’m gonna be all over some club whore in front of you?”

“Why not? You don’t owe me anything. Like you said, we’re friends, and I know you and Lissy were—” She stops for a beat and arranges her face. “Anyway, it’s not my business.” She slides off the counter.

What the fuck? How the fuck does she know about Lissy?

“I’m gonna head to bed. I’m tired.” She brushes past me and before I realize what I’m doing my hand reaches out and grabs her. Her body locks, tensing under my touch. I wait a beat, pausing for her to realize I’m not a threat. It’s only a few short seconds before she relaxes.

“You don’t have to worry about that, darlin’.”

“Oh, I’m not. I know you have needs. We both do.” She steps back out of my reach and I can’t help but want to pull her back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The question comes out as a growl because she’s pissing me off. Fucking needs. What fucking needs is she talking about?

“You really want me to answer, Beau?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

“Okay, well, I haven’t seen you with anyone since I’ve been here. You don’t have to hide it from me, Beau. I mean we have to be okay when one of us brings someone else home.”

I think my chest tightens and my arm grows numb. The thought of a man in my house, in her bed, could warrant a heart attack, right?

“Darlin’, you won’t be bringing a man into my home.” I shut that shit down right now. I wouldn’t be able to control myself if some fucker was in my house touching what’s mine.

“Well, I’m not talking about tomorrow, Beau,” she argues, making it worse.

“You won’t be ever.”

“Beau—” She starts to explain, but my mind blanks, white noise blocks her out. Need, fear, and anger simmer through me and before I think it through, I step into her space, dip my head and smash my mouth to hers. She fights it to begin with, her hands pushing at my chest. Until I reach around and pull her closer. A soft sigh dances from her lips and my tongue sweeps, seeking an opportunity.

I know we’ve been here before and I told her I wouldn’t go there with her again, but in this moment, none of that matters. What started as simmering desire transforms into intense infatuation. To have her, taste her, make her mine, it’s too much to resist.

I’m fucking done fighting it.