Текст книги "Infatuation"

Автор книги: River Savage

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Nine

Mackenzie

“That was a mistake.” I turn to rush out of his room as fast as I can, hoping he doesn’t come after me.

“Mackenzie, stop.” His tone has me halting before I reach the door, but I don’t turn to face him right away.

How could I be so stupid?

Shit.

Deciding it’s better to hash this out now, I spin and face him. “I’m sorry, Beau, I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He looks taken aback for a second before his dark mask sets in place.

“You didn’t do anything, darlin’. I shouldn’t have touched you.” His voice loses the spark that stirs something in me whenever he talks. “This isn’t what you need right now.”

He’s trying to make me feel better, but it’s not working. I’m an idiot for coming on to him then pulling away.

What the hell was I thinking?

“I should go to bed.” I ignore my body telling me how much I’d like to go to bed with him and step out of his room.

“Good night, Mackenzie.” He uses my full name and for once, I hate it. Only Beau calls me Kenzie and hearing him call me anything else just feels wrong.

Seriously so messed up.

“’Night, Beau. See you in the morning.” I lamely wave then spin, walking as fast as I can to my room.

Forgoing a shower, I change into my pajamas, climb into bed then play over every single detail that happened tonight.

Seriously, it’s too much to process.

Between Beau offering me a room at his place, and me practically begging him to kiss me, the night has been a hot mess.

I didn’t expect when I sat down to talk with Beau about moving he would freak out like he did. I knew he would be apprehensive, maybe put up a little fight, but to flat out deliver an ultimatum? No. That was unexpected.

I didn’t know what to say. Short of telling him the truth, I had to agree. What else could I do? The last thing I want to do is upset this awkward situation, especially with things growing between us.

Ever since I came to Rushford things between Beau and I have been tense. Small sparks between us have been building, pulling us closer every chance we’re alone. Initially, I thought it was one-sided. My need to forget about Chad and everything in my past pushed me forward, but after a couple of weeks, I started noticing it wasn’t just me feeling this draw. Every small touch, every slight look, it’s like an unspoken conversation between us.

And now I just ruined everything.

Deciding I can’t even go over the kiss, or the way being in Beau’s arms felt, I reach over and flick the lamp off.

I don’t need to have the scene playing over and over in my head. Maybe tomorrow everything will be clearer.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and realize it was all a dream.

The tingling in my lips tells me otherwise.

Stupid girl, Mackenzie.

I wake the next morning still feeling like a complete fool, a fool for probably making this situation ten times worse. Determined not to deal with any of it right this second, I kick off my blanket and roll out of bed. My alarm clock tells me it’s barely after six. Knowing I won’t be able to go back to sleep, I change into my favorite dress and fix my hair. It’s not like I have plans to go out today, but since I’m up, I should get a start on breakfast before Beau wakes up. Even if eggs aren’t my strong suit, I still try to make them when Beau isn’t in the kitchen looking over my shoulder. Somehow over the last few weeks, we’ve fallen into some kind of routine. I cook dinner and he fights me on breakfast.

Stealing a quick look out my door, I spy Beau’s door still closed. It doesn’t mean he’s not up, but hopefully I beat him to it. With no other option but to risk it, I exit my room and walk down the hall and out to the main area. The clubhouse is silent this morning, and I take a second to look around. I’ve come to like living here. Yeah, the parties and the women can get a little out of hand, but the club family has accepted me as one of their own.

This is one of the reasons you need to leave, Mackenzie.

Pushing all the reasons of why I should leave aside, I head for the kitchen but come to a stop when I turn the corner and see Beau standing there, his back to me, cooking over the stove.

Damn it. He beat me.

Not sure if I should make my presence known or race back to my room, I take the time to have my fill of him.

His bare feet grab my attention first. There’s something seriously sexy about a man barefoot in a kitchen. Taking one last look at them, I slowly move my gaze up his body. His shorts hang low, showing the dip on his tanned, inked back.

Of all things holy, my stomach dips at the sight.

His hair is free from his band in a wild and sexy mess and I kick myself knowing not eight hours ago this man was making love to my face and I freaked out.

Kill me now.

Shaking my head free from our kiss, my eyes move over the rippling muscles of his smooth back and zero in on his ink. Most of his back is covered, the largest, a Knights Rebels insignia sits in the middle of his back. I can’t make out the rest from this distance, but nonetheless, I still crave to explore them.

Keep your cool, Kenz.

Forcing the kiss from my mind, I decide to get this over with.

“Morning.” I step into the kitchen like I just turned the corner and didn’t spend two minutes checking him out.

Beau turns at my voice and gives me one of his rare smiles.

“Sit, breakfast is ready.” I follow his order and take a seat without even thinking. I don’t know why when he speaks to me like this I don’t react. His bossy tone no longer rubs me the wrong way. I’ve become used to it.

“I thought it was my turn to fix breakfast.” I eye my plate then try to contain my excitement when he places my favorite in front of me. French toast. Even better. Beau’s French toast.

“Are you keeping tabs, Kenzie?” I hold back my smile hearing he’s gone back to using the shorter version of my name and nod.

Okay, maybe we can just act like nothing happened last night.

“I had all these plans to show you up with my mad omelet skills.”

He throws his head back at my admission. A deep rumble spills from somewhere low and I’m thrown by the easiness of it so I just sit and stare.

Holy shit, I could just listen to him laugh all day.

“I’ll wait patiently for that day, darlin’.” Beau pulls me out of my trance and takes a seat next to me.

“Whatever. One day, I will perfect it.” I huff before taking a bite of my breakfast. Seriously, so freaking good.

“So I thought we could head over to my place today.” I stop eating and look up at Beau’s suggestion.

Okay, this is not what I was expecting.

“Are you sure it’s wise, Beau?” I place my fork down on my plate and reach for my coffee.

“Told you last night, you’re either here or my place.”

“Yeah, but after what happened last night?” The last thing I want to do is relive what happened, but it’s better to get it over with now than later.

“Last night was my fuck up. It didn’t mean anything. I don’t think of you that way, Kenzie.” He places his fork beside him and gives me his full attention. I ignore the pang of rejection hearing him say he doesn’t think of me in that way and nod instead.

“Yeah, of course. I’m not interested in anything more, either. It was just one of those moments. When two people spend a lot of time together, it’s bound to happen. Now it’s done, we can move on,” I agree as heat spreads over my face and neck.

How embarrassing.

“So we’re good then.” I force what I hope is a smile and dig back into my breakfast.

“Yep,” is all he says, before picking up his own fork and pushing a mouthful of food into his mouth. We don’t talk again after that, both of us avoiding each other’s gaze. I know we just said what happened last night was a mistake, but it doesn’t change the fact we’re both going to be different now. There’s nothing we could do to control it.

“I’ll clean up,” Beau says when I stand and take my plate to the sink.

Not wanting to argue with him today, I nod and hang back, enjoying a second coffee and letting him take control of the situation.

Ugggh, he is a pain in my ass.

After ten minutes of me watching him tidy up, we finally make our way out to the front.

“Only have my bike. You okay with that?” he asks, locking up the clubhouse.

“Sure.” I nod and push down my unease of having to be close to him so soon after our slip. He motions to a bike to our left, and we walk over. I don’t tell him I haven’t been on a bike before. I just lift my leg and mount his ride like I’ve done it hundreds of times.

He watches me carefully, eyebrow cocked, hands on hips, but doesn’t comment. Instead, the corner of his mouth lifts up in a knowing smile.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

“Will you be joining me?” I ask when he continues to just stare.

He doesn’t reply with words but climbs on in front of me. Not wanting to be too close, I squeeze my thighs tight against his side. Careful not to put my hands on him.

“Don’t be stubborn, darlin’. You’re not going to last this fifteen-minute ride without holding on to me.” He leans back and picks up my hand. I roll my eyes ‘cause he’s right. I am stubborn. Getting over myself, I slide forward and place my hands around him.

“See, wasn’t so hard, was it?” His question is light, playful and I want to reply with some smart remark like I normally would, but today I can’t come up with anything. So, rather than dwell on it, I hold on tighter, ready and willing to go wherever he takes me.

Past Mackenzie

“They’re a few minutes out.” Heidi places the phone back in her pocket and moves back to where I’m lying down on the sofa. Every inch of my body is on fire and in pain, aching more than I’ve ever ached in my life.

“Are you sure this is going to work? What if he finds me again?” I can’t help the scared plea that leaves my lips as I wonder just how far Chad will go. I only just tried to escape last night to Heidi’s place and I’m already attempting it again.

“Sweetheart, these men are good at what they do.” Henry, who Heidi found to help me escape, tries to reassure me. I have no idea who he is, all I know is he works with a group of people who help remove women out of bad situations. I don’t know if this is going to work, but I have to believe it will.

“Okay, we need to move her now. They’re coming up the drive,” Henry’s wife, Dorothy, calls from the back barn door.

I don’t even know how this all came about so fast. After Chad found me at Heidi’s last night, I agreed to go home with him. It was my only option. I needed to keep her safe. Heidi fought her hardest to get me to stay, but when she realized Chad wouldn’t give up, she hugged me tight, and promised she would come up with something and to be prepared. I never imagined she would pull this off in less than twenty-four hours.

“It’s gonna hurt, babe. But we don’t have much time.” Heidi gives it to me straight as Henry and Dorothy move into position.

“I think I can walk,” I offer, knowing it’s going to hurt but wanting to make it easier for them.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner,” Heidi whispers, wincing in sympathy with me as they help me find my feet and we slowly move to the back door.

“It’s not your fault, Heidi. This is what I get for trying to leave. One way trip down the stairs.” I try not to let my emotions take over. I knew trying to escape last night with no plan was a bad idea. Knew the minute he showed up at Heidi’s I would get my punishment. I’m just lucky he had a work function he had to attend and Heidi could get me out before it was too late.

“Okay, they just pulled up.” Henry opens the back door.

“I can’t thank you all enough. I’m not sure this is going to work, but either way, I’ll always remember what you’ve done,” I tell both Henry and Dorothy.

They both nod, but Henry talks, “We’re just doing what any good person would do. These men, they might seem a little rough, but I give you my word, they won’t harm one hair on you.” I want to cry at how nice these people sound, but I stop myself when a man appears at the door.

“We don’t have much time. You have everything you need?” The deep grumble of the stranger’s voice rolls through me. I look up at the man and in the low light, I can only make out his frame and part of his face. This stranger is taking me out in the middle of the night. I don’t know what he looks like, but for reasons I can’t explain, I trust him and what he believes in. I trust Henry when he tells me he will keep me safe from Chad. But most of all, I trust Heidi, who promised me she would help me escape.

“She’s good to go,” Heidi answers for me then steps forward and carefully wraps her arms around me. It takes everything in me not to cry out in pain, but knowing this will be the last time I see her, I let her hug me tightly anyway.

“Are you sure you want to do this alone?”

“I have to.” The last thing I need is for Heidi to become caught up in all of this. “I love you, Heidi.”

“I love you, too, girl.” She gives me another squeeze before stepping back with glassy eyes.

“Don’t you dare cry. You’ll make me cry,” I tell her with a shaky smile, my eyes filling with tears. We give each other one last look, reassuring one another this is the only way.

“Thank you.” I turn to Henry and Dorothy, wishing I could offer something more.

“Time to go,” the gruff voice growls, rushing us along. I give one last look to my friend before telling the man I’m ready.

He doesn’t reply, just steps forward and picks me up in his massive arms.

“Shit!” I cry out in pain from the fast movement.

“I’m sorry, but it’s quicker if I carry you,” he states. Part of me should be scared of him, but for the first time ever, I trust this stranger is going to save me, so I hold on tighter, willing to go wherever he takes me.

Ten

Beau

We pull up to the front of my house twenty minutes later. The ride took longer than it should have because I’m not gonna lie, I fucking loved having Kenzie on the back of my bike and didn’t want it to end.

Yep, fucking goner.

“Wow, it’s beautiful, Beau.” Her head tilts back as she takes in the front of my home. I bought the house a few years ago, just after my mother died. I sold our family home, then used the money to find my own place. I wasn’t interested in living where I grew up, and being constantly surrounded by the memories. I don’t know if I plan to stay here forever, but it’s kind of perfect for me right now.

“Yeah, it’s okay.” I brush off the compliment. I haven’t brought a woman here before, and knowing Kenzie is the first does something to me.

Jesus, keep it together, fucker. You told her we are just friends. Stick to it.

“It’s perfect. Come on, show me around.” She looks back at me, eager to see more. I don’t waste any time. I push the kickstand down on my bike and climb off. She’s too busy looking at the house to notice my semi-hard cock from her tits pressed into my back, so I quickly adjust myself.

“Okay, let’s go.” I place my hand in the small of her back and guide her to the front porch. She doesn’t flinch at my touch today and I can’t help wanting to celebrate the small win. After the kiss last night, I wasn’t sure this was going to be a good idea, until I realized the alternative. As much as having her in my house, in my space is going to fuck with me, I’d still prefer it to her living on her own. When she raced back to her room last night, I thought for sure she’d pull right back, and I was prepared for it. But then I felt her come into the kitchen this morning, and I knew there was no way I was going to let her. So I told her I didn’t think of her that way. I lied to save face. And yeah she said it back, but I know she was lying too.

We both played it our own way because whatever is happening between us can’t progress.

Not yet anyway.

“How long have you lived here?” she asks as we take the stairs to the front porch.

“Three years now.” She nods before her eyes find the swing hanging at the end of the porch.

“Oh my, I’ve always wanted one of these.” She walks over to it and plants her ass smack down in the middle.

“It was my mom’s,” I tell her, watching her smile fade away.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She stands from the swing instantly and I regret dropping it on her like that.

“Don’t be, darlin’,” is all I say, not because I don’t want her to know about my mom or my family for that matter. It’s a fucked-up situation and today is not the day to visit it.

“My mom and dad died when I was twelve. Car accident,” she shares, and I take a moment to catalog the information. The last month, Kenzie has barely shared anything personal with me. Sure I know her favorite food, what she likes to drink, what makes her laugh, even what she’s been doing the last eighteen months, but deep shit like this she keeps to herself. We both do.

“Sorry.” I give her the same words back.

“Don’t be.” She grins then shakes her head. “You gonna keep me out on this porch all day, Beau, or you gonna show me your house?” She breaks through the dismal moment, pulling us both out of the past.

Needing the reprieve, I nod and step up to the door. “I’ll have a second key made for you,” I tell her as I unlock the door and step into the foyer. She stays close as I move to the alarm and disarm it.

“How am I going to remember all those numbers?” she asks over my shoulder when I punch in my code.

“We can reprogram it,” I offer, hoping it will make it easier. I push the door open and let her pass. “So this is my home.” I direct her through the front entryway into the living area. The house is an open concept. The kitchen and dining are to the left, and living area to the right. All rooms open up to each other with a hall that takes you to the back of the house where the bedrooms and bathroom are.

“Living area.” I point to the room, but continue on to the kitchen. “Kitchen and dining, and through the glass door there is a patio.” She follows each direction, taking it all in.

“Down the hall are the bedrooms and bathroom.” I continue to guide her through the rest of my house.

“I love the wooden floors.” Mackenzie follows closely, taking in everything and offers her commentary. Even though the house only had one owner before me, I still gave it a coat of paint and polished the floors up before I moved in.

“First room is a junk room. Don’t even bother trying to clean it up,” I warn, knowing what she’s like. She’ll have it organized and tidied before the week is out.

“Second door is the bathroom.” I tap on the door. “It’s all yours. I have one in my room. This room is empty.” I tap on the third door. “And this room is yours.” I stop at the door closest to mine and turn back. She’s still checking out the bathroom so I wait.

“This one?” She finally catches up, pushing the door open and stepping in.

“Yep.” I stay back and watch her take in her new room. It’s nothing special. Queen bed, nightstand on each side, and a dresser against the far wall.

“It’s perfect, Beau.” She turns back and smiles up at me. “Are you sure this is okay? Me moving in?”

“Wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t, darlin’.” I’m sure it’s going to be hard having her in my space and keeping my hands to myself, but I’ll get there.

“I know. I just want to make sure.” I watch her eye the door of my bedroom before looking up at me.

“My room,” I offer and then watch her blush. Seriously, I rarely call a woman cute, but everything she does makes me wanna kiss her and tell her to quit being cute before she makes me lose my head.

“Great.” She starts to walk back up the hall, out into the living area. I watch her ass as I follow her. The motion of her movements causes my cock to twitch. “So when can I move in?” She turns around slowly and I divert my eyes immediately before she can catch me.

“We can go and grab your stuff now.”

“On your bike?” She looks a little concerned.

“I have a truck. We’ll take it back.”

“You have a truck?” Her question is sharp and piercing, like she’s surprised.

“Yeah. Why?”

“I just always see you on your bike. I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about you.” She shrugs, still looking around. She’s right. We might have just spent a lot of time together at the clubhouse, but we still know so little of each other

“Same could be said for you, Kenz,” I reply, watching her eyes shoot up to mine.

“Well, what do you want to know?” she asks, opening herself up to me.

“Don’t know. Let me think.” I grin and watch her place her ass down on the arm of my brown leather sofa. “When’s your birthday?”

“Ugggh, the worst day of the year,” she groans, rolling her eyes.

“Christmas Day?” I ask, thinking of the first day that comes to mind.

“No, February twenty-ninth.”

“Get the fuck out?” I blurt, thinking she’s messing with me.

“February twenty-ninth, nineteen-eighty. I’m not kidding. Why?”

“February twenty-ninth, nineteen seventy-six,” I reply with my own birthday.

“Are you serious?” Her brows rise in surprise, but her ass stays planted. “That’s crazy. What day do you celebrate your birthday?”

“I only celebrate on the date. Which makes me a hell of a lot younger than most assholes my age. How can you think it’s the worst day of the year?”

“I hate it. I celebrate on the first of March.” She shrugs and I can’t move the smile off my face knowing we share a birthday.

What are the fucking chances?

“Well, I still think it’s better than Christmas. Christmas you have to share all the presents. My sister was born Christmas Day and she hated it.”

“You have a sister?” she asks. “Jesus, we barely know each other.” Her words pull me out of my happy mood and into somewhere darker.

“Missy. She would have been thirty-two this Christmas.” I step back, done with this conversation. Kenzie’s hand reaches out and seeks mine. I stop at her touch but don’t look back. I scarcely talk about Missy. I’m shocked I even shared.

“I bet she was amazing,” she whispers, not apologizing for my loss, but giving me something else. Understanding.

“She was better than me in every way, darlin’. I miss her every day.” I return her squeeze and release her hand. She doesn’t ask any more questions, and I’m grateful for it. We’ve dived deep enough for the day. Hell for the month. At least I have.

“You ready to head out? If we leave now, we could have you moved in by lunch,” I tell her, walking back to the door.

“Yeah, but I just have one condition before I agree to move in.” I spin back, waiting to hear her terms.

“Yeah, what’s that?” I almost tell her I don’t make bargains, but like a lot of things with Mackenzie, I let her have her play.

“I get to cook breakfast.” Her arms fold over her chest, pushing up her breasts and it takes everything in me to stop my eyes from lingering.

“No,” I simply say and turn around ending all discussion.

“Come on, Beau.” She begins to argue her reasons, but I just shut her out. The woman cooks a mean meal. I’ll give her that, but breakfast is and will always be my gig.