Текст книги "Honesty"

Автор книги: Regina Frame

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

Honesty

I woke the next morning to a cold¸ empty bed. I don’t know why I was surprised. I had hoped to wake up in his arms, but I should have known better. He was not that type of man; I knew that to begin with. I knew when I asked him to fuck me that night that it would be nothing more than that, a quick fuck. He would fuck me and then move on to the next. I was sure he had already carved my notch into the neck of his guitar.

How stupid am I?

After forcing myself out of bed, I quickly showered and dressed in a pair of gray drawstring sweats and a soft, long sleeved light blue t-shirt. If I was going to be on a bus for the next twenty-four hours, then I intended on being comfortable. I decided to forgo the makeup and pulled my long brown hair back into a high ponytail. My cell chimed, signaling a new text. I unplugged it from the charger and anxiously swiped my finger across the screen. I felt my heart crack a little when I saw the text was from Jinx, not Linc.

Jinx: Leaving in thirty minutes.

Me: I'm on my way down.

I scanned the room to make sure that I had everything, before grabbing my suitcase and heading downstairs. The bus was already running and Frank, our driver, was standing outside the open door. He took my bag and loaded it into the luggage compartment while I climbed on board.

"I hope you didn't do anything stupid last night," my brother Jinx said, staring up at me from his place on the couch. The other guys were nowhere to be seen, but I knew some of them were already on board, as their things were already scattered about the kitchen.

"Jinx," I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't want to get into this right now. I know what I'm doing, so just let it go," I told him. He didn’t need to know that I did, in fact, do something stupid last night.

"You don't know him like I do, Honesty. If he gets you into bed, he'll use you and then walk away, hurting you in the process. I know you too well. You have a big heart and you care too much sometimes. I just don't want to see you hurt," he replied.

"That was the old me," I told him, knowing that he was right. He eyed me carefully, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something else, but he didn’t. He pushed himself up from the couch and wrapped me in a tight hug before he turned and walked to the back of the bus, disappearing into the bathroom. Chance climbed the steps of the bus with his arms loaded down with plastic bags from the hotel gift shop.

"What the hell have you done, Chance?" I laughed when he dropped one of the bags onto the table, a king size bag of Skittles falling out. This guy had a serious sugar addiction.

"I bought every bag of Skittles they had. I figured, with a twenty-four hour bus ride ahead of us, we'd need junk food. Besides, Skittles are my favorite and Linc has a tendency to eat them all. I don't even think he likes them. I think he does it just to piss me off. I figured I'd hide some in my bunk for safe keeping," he said while sliding his fingers across his lips as if to tell me his lips were sealed. I did the same and pretended to throw the key over my shoulder.

"That's a really strange addiction to have, but okay," I laughed and grabbed one of his bags of candy, earning me a slap on the hand. "Speaking of Linc, where is he?" I asked, trying to keep my face blank of any emotion.

"He's in his bunk." He motioned toward the back of the bus. "I think he was out late last night. He said he didn't get any sleep. I haven't seen him look that drained except for the time he had a threesome with a couple of twins. Now, that kicked his ass!" He threw his head back and laughed. I did not need to know that. Hmm...That bit of news had me wondering where he went after he left my room.

Did he hook up with someone else? The thought made my stomach twist into knots. Who am I to question where he went? It was not like we were in a relationship. It was just one night. It was not like we would ever sleep together again.

Linc

Leaving her bed after she fell asleep that night was one of the hardest things that I had ever done, holding her in my arms, watching her come was a memory that would forever be burned into my brain. She was fucking gorgeous when she came, not that she was not always gorgeous. There was just something about the way her body trembled, her cheeks blushed, and her green eyes shined a little brighter when she came apart, that I would always remember. I knew if I stayed wrapped up in her, it would be even harder to leave this morning. I spent the night in a corner booth in the hotel bar, drinking all night while reliving every moment of my time with her. I stumbled onto the bus before anyone else this morning and practically poured myself into my bunk. With any luck, I would sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

I unfolded out of my bunk, almost falling on my ass when I tripped over a pair of shoes that Chance left in the middle of the hall. He always left his shit lying all over the place. I picked the shoes up off the floor and flung them down the hall, not caring where they landed. It was bad enough that I had a hangover from hell; I didn’t need to fall and break my damn arm. They would be shit out of luck without a bass player. Stumbling into the bathroom, I took a piss and thought about how I was going to handle seeing Honesty after leaving her in the middle of the night. I wouldn't blame her if she cut my nuts off and handed them to me. I could hear voices through the thin walls, so I knew there were a few of them moving about. I gave it a shake and flushed before heading toward the front of the bus to join the others. Levi and Chance were sitting at the small table with their heads together looking at something on the laptop, while Honesty sat on the small sofa, reading a book.

"Morning sunshine," she said to me without looking up. "Well, it's not actually morning by now, it's after eight."

I scrubbed my hands over my face in an attempt to wake myself up. Grabbing a beer and some pain reliever, I took a seat next to her on the sofa. Bad move on my part. Her sweet smell of vanilla and jasmine wrapped around me and I had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her. She was the last person I had thought of last night, and the first person to enter my mind this morning. I was getting hard just thinking about her soft silky skin against my fingers. Everything about her turned me on. I thought it would be uncomfortable seeing her that morning. I expected her to ignore me, or maybe even throw something at me, but she acted as if nothing ever happened between us. I was not sure how I felt about that. In a way, it was a blow to my ego, and in another, it was perfect. No awkwardness. No uncomfortable looks.

Perfect.

Honesty

I dropped my suitcase alongside the small table inside the hotel room. There was nothing more that I wanted than a hot shower. I stripped out of my dirty jeans and t-shirt, taking advantage of having a bathroom to myself. No guys to leave the toilet seat up or their dirty towels lying on the bathroom floor. Nope. All mine. I stood underneath the hot spray, letting it rain down on my stiff muscles. I was stiff from hours riding on a bus.

I forced myself to get out once I noticed that my fingers had started to prune. I wrapped one of the extra-large towels around my torso and then ran a comb through my wet hair. I stepped into my room with full intentions of putting on a t-shirt and crawling into to bed, but when I checked my phone, there was a message from Jinx; letting me know that we were going to check out the venue and then go someplace for dinner. I honestly didn’t know how these guys were able to keep going. You would think they would slow down to rest at some point, but I've yet to see that happen. I sighed heavily, grabbed my suitcase and tossed it on the bed. I grabbed my favorite pair of faded jeans, the ones with the holes in the knees, and a purple halter top. I dried my hair and decided to leave it down. I applied a little foundation, some mascara, and a shimmer of lip gloss before stepping into a pair of silver wedge sandals. I sent Jinx a quick text to let him know that I was on my way, before walking out, the door locking behind me.

Linc

Our tour manager called ahead and reserved a table for us at the Tipsy Turtle Bar and Grill. It was an average sports bar with TVs and sports memorabilia hanging on the walls. We were escorted to a large booth in the far corner of the place and, unless you walked back to the corner, you would have never known we were there; it was fairly private. That night, I was thankful for the privacy. Don't get me wrong, we loved the fans, they were the reason we did what we did, but sometimes it was nice to go unnoticed. You never realize how much you take for granted, like a nice dinner out, until you have your night interrupted by ten-plus women, crowding around your table, asking you to autograph their tits or offering themselves up for the night. The waitress brought our drinks to the table and took our food order, before turning and walking back toward the server kiosk across the room. It was then that I noticed a busty redhead eyeing me from the bar. She uncrossed her legs and turned in my direction. She was wearing a black spandex dress and, from where I was sitting, I could see that she was not wearing underwear.

Damn. I gave her my cocky grin and winked when I noticed Honesty following my line of vision to the redhead. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes dropped to where her hands were on the table. She obviously saw the exchange between the other woman and myself. Did I feel bad about it? Yes. Would it keep me from hitting on the redhead? Probably not. It was better that she realized now that all the things her brother had been telling her about me were true. We were not a couple. We had sex, exceptionally good sex, but that's all. It was best that she realized this now rather than later, when she may be too attached to let go.

"Where are we going when we leave here? I'm ready to hit a club and get shitfaced," Chance asked, lifting his beer, taking a big gulp.

"I'll find us a place to go." Levi pulled his cell from his pocket and began to search for clubs in the area.

"Always gotta break the city in right!" Jinx lifted his bottle in the air as if he was making a toast. Once everyone agreed on the next destination, we decided to head over.

"I gotta take a leak," I told them. I hung back as the guys and Honesty walked toward the front of the restaurant. I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and take a leak and a much needed bump to get me through the night. I thought about the woman at the bar and how easy it would be to take her back to my room for the night, but something didn’t feel right about it. When I thought about having sex with someone, it was Honesty’s face that I saw. That had never happened to me before. I had never been so caught up in a woman that I couldn’t even imagine myself having sex with anyone else.

That’s fucked up. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I did know that I saw the look of hurt and disappointment on her face when she saw me looking at the redhead, and it about did me in. It killed me to know that it hurt her. I thought the best thing I could do would be to just go back to the room and drink myself into oblivion alone. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d done that and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

When I left the restroom, I avoided walking by the redhead and headed straight for the front door, with full intentions of telling the guys that I was going back to my room for the night. However, once I had made it outside, I didn’t see Honesty anywhere.

"Where's Honesty?" I asked while scanning the sidewalk for any sign of her.

"She wasn't feeling well. Said she had a headache and was going to turn in for the night," Chance responded as he pulled a bag of Skittles out of his pocket, tearing it open. As the guys began to climb into the back of the limo, I made my decision; I wouldn’t be going back to my room. I would be going to hers.

"I'll catch up with you guys in a bit," I told them. Levi looked at me and rolled his eyes. I could tell that Jinx wanted to say something, but held his tongue. I guess he was actually trying to respect Honesty and give her some space.

Finally. I grabbed a cab and headed back to the hotel, avoiding any stalking fans this time. I took the elevator up to the fifth floor and straight to her door. I was sure she thought I was with the redhead, so I was not surprised when she answered the door in a faded t-shirt and cotton shorts. The look of surprise on her face confirmed my suspicion.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Maybe on top of a certain redhead?" she asked with a frown on her beautiful face, looking away.

"Can I come in?" I asked. She sighed loudly and took a step back so I could step inside.

"Why are you here? Did she turn down Linc McKay, Sexy Rock God?" She walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Actually, I didn't ask." She looked up at me like she didn’t believe me. I walked over and sat on the bed beside her.

"You're the one I want to spend my time with. I thought we might rent a movie," I told her and bumped her shoulder with mine. I had never just watched a movie with a woman before, but I was willing to try for her. She stared at the floor as if she was rolling around what I had just said in her brain. This beautiful woman did something to me that no other woman had ever done. I didn’t know how I ever thought that she could be just a no-strings-attached hook up. She was so much more than that. I can see that now. I knew I should walk away, but here I was again. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

"What do you mean, you didn't ask? I'm not sure I believe that. Are you even capable of passing up a willing woman?" She looked up at me through dark lashes with big green eyes.

"You're the only woman I want to spend my time with," I declared. I knew it sounded lame, especially from me: someone who had a revolving door of women ready at the snap of a finger to crawl into my bed for the night. She grinned, grabbed the T.V. remote, and crawled to the head of the bed. She patted her hand on the space beside her, inviting me to sit beside her.

Thank fuck. There for a moment, I was afraid she was going to send me packing back to my room for the night.

"What movie do you want to watch?" She asked while flipping through the Pay-Per-View movies, which were insanely expensive in the hotel. I let her decide and we settled back against the headboard in silence.

I awoke early the next morning to the sound of my cell ringing in my pocket, but the warm body snuggled against me prevented me from digging it out of my pocket, so I just let it ring. When it finally went to voicemail, I looked down at her silky dark hair that was fanned out over my bare chest. Sometime in the night I had stripped off my shirt, but thankfully I still had on my jeans, which meant I wasn't a total ass and I hadn’t taken advantage of her.

Which, come to think of it, was a first for me, I must have crashed harder than I thought.

I ran my fingers through her smooth hair and watched as the sunlight bounced off her natural highlights. My fingers paused when she sighed against my chest and lifted those remarkable green eyes to mine.

"Good morning," I said, letting the few strands of hair left fall between my fingers, landing on her shoulders. I lowered my head and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

"I don't know. I haven't checked. I've just been enjoying my time holding you." I pulled her up my body, so that I could give her a proper good morning kiss. Her body was stiff at first but she quickly melted into my arms and my morning wood took notice of how soft and warm she was. For the first time ever, I ignored my urge to push her back on the bed and take her.

I didn’t know what was going on, but that woman had somehow crawled inside me. She had me twisted up in all kinds of in knots. "Why don't you get a shower and I'll order us some breakfast?" I placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Okay." She placed a wet kiss in the middle of my chest.

If she touches me again, I'm not sure that I'll be able to restrain myself. It's a struggle now as it is.

"Pancakes with extra chocolate chips," she replied and pushed herself up off the bed. When she disappeared into the bathroom, I made the call to room service before pulling my phone out to check my messages. It was a message from Court, telling me that we were having a group meeting at noon, in his hotel room, before we headed over to the venue for sound check. I was sure it was just the basic stuff about what to expect for that night’s concert, or at least I hoped it was. I hoped it was not another meeting that involved threatening my career because of something in the tabloids. By the time Honesty stepped out from the bathroom, I had breakfast spread out on top of the small table in front of the window.

"Good. It's here. I'm starving!" She said, taking a seat in front of her pancakes. I took the seat across from her and watched as she dug into the large stack of pancakes like she hadn’t eaten in weeks.

I love a girl who's not afraid to eat and. I love girl with curves and soft skin, unlike some that I've been with before who were stick-thin with hipbones that dug into me as I tried to hold them.

"What are you smiling at?" She tilted her head to the side and asked with curious eyes. I reached across the table and wiped the little bit of chocolate from her bottom lip with my thumb.

"I like a girl that eats, that's all." I smiled and licked the chocolate from my thumb. "I just don't know where you put it all," I told her and she smiled as she realized the compliment. "I should probably get going so I can grab a shower. Court messaged earlier that he wants to have a group meeting before we head over to the venue. My ass stays in enough trouble without being late for one of his damn meetings," I told her and pushed up from the table. "I'll catch you later," I said, placing a light kiss on her soft lips, breathing in her clean scent. It took everything in me not to just screw Court's meeting and spend the next few hours making love to her. I crossed the room and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind me. I headed to my room to shower and shave.

I slipped into a pair of loose fitting jeans and an old Kiss t-shirt. My head was suddenly hurting, so I dug through my travel bag for some pain reliever. When I bent over to unzip my bag something warm dripped down my face and landed on my khaki colored canvas bag. Blood. I ran the back of my hand over my upper lip to find that my nose was pouring. My nose bleeds were getting more and more frequent, along with the headaches. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know where the frequent nosebleeds were coming from. I'd gradually started using more and more coke over the last couple of months, as the tour had picked up and our schedule became more demanding. I rushed into the bathroom, grabbing a bath cloth and some ice from the ice bucket. I held the icepack at the base of my head with my head tipped back for several minutes until the bleeding stopped. Luckily for me, this would only make me five minutes late for the meeting. I tossed the bloody rag on the nightstand beside the bed and then headed next door to Court's room.

The meeting with the guys was short and couldn't have gone any better. For once, I was not the topic of conversation. It seemed that I'd managed to stay out of the tabloids for a change.

Well, that's not entirely true. I just hadn’t trashed any hotel rooms or been involved in any orgies lately. There was only one explanation for that: Honesty. My thoughts had been consumed by the sexy brunette over the last few weeks. It seemed that she was good for me, in and out of the public eye.

Honesty

For once, I had no trouble entering through the back entrance of the venue. The security staff had gotten used to seeing me with the guys. I walked down the narrow hallway lined with dressing room doors, which had band names on them. I found the one with a sign that read, "Dirty Affliction.” I knocked but no one answered. I could tell from the noises on the other side that no one had heard my knock. I slowly opened the door and stepped through the door to see that the dressing room was filled with wall to wall people; mostly women of course. I crossed the room, weaving my way between the bodies, looking for some of the guys.

"Honesty!" I heard someone call from the back of the room. Jinx wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly. Two girls wearing short skirts and bras as shirts plastered themselves on either side of him. One with bright red lips and dark smoky eyes gave me a death glare, while the other one rubbed her hand up his arm.

To think these guys go through this on almost a daily basis is sickening.

"Did you have any problems getting in, Sis?" When he called me Sis, I could practically see relief flood through both girls as they realized that I was not a threat to them.

"Nah. I think they all recognize me. Besides, this helps too," I said, lifting the backstage pass hanging around my neck. "Where are the rest of the guys?"

"Levi's in the bathroom running through vocals. Chance is over there." He tilted his head, indicating the far corner of the room where Chance had his arms wrapped around two girls wearing very tight jeans and band t-shirts. Court's running around here somewhere making everyone's life miserable," he added. He didn’t mention Linc and I didn’t ask. I was almost afraid to know.

"Want something to drink?" He asked me, hooking his thumb toward a large snack table across the room. I couldn’t believe some of the things these guys requested. Jinx told me once that they actually eat some of it, but most of it is just to make sure they're being taken seriously. One time, Levi requested a bowl of all green candy because he claimed it made him horny.

Oh...to live the life of a rock star.

"Nah. I'm good," I answered, scanning the room, still seeing no sign of Linc.

"Twenty minutes!" someone yelled over all the chatter in the room, causing everyone to scatter as if it all had been rehearsed. Anyone who was not a part of the band walked out into the hall and the guys came together forming a circle in the dressing room for their preconcert ritual. Everyone turned when the door was flung open and Linc came staggering into the room, a bottle of Jack in one hand. His eyes were glassy with large, black pupils. He stepped into the circle and took a long draw from the bottle of dark liquid before passing it to his right. By the time the bottle made it around the circle and came back to Linc, there was not much left. He turned the bottle up; swallowing what was left of it.

Is this normal for him? How can he possibly play a show in this condition?

No one was saying a word to him about it. I clenched my jaw and kept my mouth shut. It was not my problem. I watched as they all put a hand into the circle, one stacked on top of the next. With a loud roar, they shouted, "Let's get dirty!" as their hands lifted into the air. The guys walked toward the door, but I placed my hand on Linc's arm to get his attention. He looked down at me with glassy eyes and I wondered if he saw me at all.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that whatever was going on, he could talk to me, but he just nodded and placed a kiss on my cheek. With a smile that I was sure was forced, he stepped through the door, and disappeared down the hall. I made my way down the hall, to the backstage area, just as the opening band finished, and the guys were getting ready to go onstage. They all stood off to the side with their heads down, as if their getting themselves in the zone before they took the stage. I tucked myself into a dark corner and out of the view of the crowd, but still allowing me a good view of the stage.

The stage lights dimmed. I could see four shadowed outlines standing stone-still until the flashing of the strobe lights began and illuminated the stage. The roar of the crowd was so loud I was almost tempted to put my fingers in my ears, but I resisted. My heart raced wildly in my chest as my brother pounded out the beat of the first song and the rhythm of Chance's guitar joined, along with the deep growl of Linc's bass. Levi's smooth voice filled the air with the words of their newest single, "Gasping for Air." The crowd went nuts and the girls closest to the stage bounced up and down as they sang along with the words. Once the song ended, Levi stepped just off the stage, onto the other side, to grab a bottle of water and a take short break as Linc and Chance stood back to back in the middle of the stage in a War of Guitars. Chance's green Mohawk was standing proud on top of his head, while Linc's dark hair was hanging in his face. Both guys were dripping wet with sweat.

God, he's sexy even when he's sweaty. The guys split and moved back to their sides of the stage as Levi took the stage once again.

Once the band had played their third encore, the lights dimmed for good this time. We all headed back into the dressing room where Court was waiting to talk to the guys. Linc grabbed a bottle of water from the snack table and wrapped his arms around me from behind. Jinx grabbed a bottle of water from the table, but not to drink. He opened the bottle of cold water and poured it over his head and down his bare chest. Chance and Levi each grabbed a bottle of beer and downed half the bottle in one gulp.

"That was a great show guys. You had the crowd going nuts during the War of Guitars, guys. Good job!" Court praised them. I was glad to hear some encouragement coming from him for a change. According to Jinx, Court had really been on their case lately because of all the bad press they had been getting. It was nice to see the guys feeling good about their performance. Court promised them that they would get a two week break after the show in Des Moines. All the guys celebrated by the lifting of their bottles, even if they were empty.

"Let's go shower and grab some dinner," Linc whispered into my ear, causing a tingle to run down my spine.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door, when Court interrupted, "The record label has reserved a room for you at The Dog Pound. They're sending a limo for you in an hour, so don't keep them waiting."

I let him lead me down the hall and out the back door, where security was waiting to help us into the waiting limo. On the ride back to the hotel, I thought about the way he looked when he staggered into the dressing room. I knew I was going to have to ask at some point. I was going to have to address the alcohol and the drugs; I was just not sure how to go about it yet. It took everything in me to force Linc to shower by himself and keep his hands off me, at least until after dinner. I knew if we started, we'd never make dinner, and I didn’t want Court to have any reason to trash the guys’ good mood.

"I promise I won't take long," he growled as he traced my ear with his nose. His warm breath tickled my neck sending a rush of warmth throughout my body.

"No," I laughed, unwrapping him from my body. His arms fell at his sides as he stared at me like a wounded puppy. I almost felt bad for him. Almost. "I promise you, I want it as bad as you do, but Court said to be down stairs in an hour," I told him as I checked the glowing clock on the nightstand. "We have five minutes." I grinned, raising my brow playfully. He sighed heavily and let me lead him from the room, toward the elevator, with the promise that he could do whatever he wanted to me when we got back to the room later, or in his words, "maybe before."