Текст книги "Perfection Is Just An Illusion"

Автор книги: Rebecca Barber

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

The laughter that floated through the night air had drawn Diana, Brandon, Kathryn, Kelley, Lachlan and Michael from the backyard. Now they were watching intently as the game unfolded. The boys on Kate’s team were trying desperately to guard James. Despite their efforts they had little success. James was just too tall for them. Everything was going well; they were all having a great time. Then everything changed.

Chapter 10

James

James jumped up to catch the ball and when he landed his ankle forgot to catch him. His right ankle went out from under him and he fell heavily with a loud thump on the dusty concrete. Anna didn’t move. Diana and Michael’s face fell pale. It felt like hours had passed and James hadn’t as much as moved a muscle. A completely innocuous and innocent action left the front yard silenced. As James jumped to make the shot he spun to ensure he missed Nate as he landed and now the boy had silent tears streaming down his face.

As if everything was happening in slow motion, Anna sprung up and raced to his side. She accidentally ran Madison over as she tried to get to James, who was lying helpless on the ground. As gently as possible she rolled him onto his back. The agony was etched into his face. His eyes were full of unshed tears, his lip was trembling. Anna read the fear in James face. He wasn’t stupid, although in this moment Anna couldn’t help but wish he was. They didn’t need to speak the words aloud to both realise what this could do to his World Championship campaign. Kids who only moments ago had been laughing and playing without a care in the world were now watching as one of their idols lie motionless on the driveway clutching at his swelling ankle.

“Anna…my ankle. It’s fucked,” James blubbered.

As the words registered in Anna’s brain her heart broke. All she could see was the broken man in front of her, his dreams in tatters and his strength barely hanging by a thread.

It was as if James’s simple pain-filled words jolted everyone to action. Suddenly everything was happening all at once. Kathryn came racing out with a tea towel full of ice. Diana backed the car up as close as she could without running over her injured son. Michael and Brandon lifted James into the backseat of the land cruiser. Anna scampered in beside him and held the ice to his ankle, and as soon as he was secure, Diana headed down the driveway.

“I’ll ring the hospital and let them know that you’re on your way,” Kathryn called out after them.

Kate’s eyes filled with guilt. She started to sob, “It’s all my fault. If he weren’t playing that stupid game, he wouldn’t have hurt himself. What if he can’t swim anymore? It’s all my fault,” Kate spluttered between gut wrenching sobs.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, for once in your life, it’s not about you, Kate,” Kelley chastised her sister.

Michael tried his best to reassure Kate. “It’s not your fault, Katie. It was only a game. He plays all the time. You couldn’t have known that he would get hurt. He’ll be okay. He will swim, you’ll see,” Michael stated as firmly as he could muster. But there was distrust in his eyes. It was obvious to anyone who dared to look close enough that even he didn’t know how far he was stretching the truth.

***

Anna

James was rushed straight through for an x-ray as soon as they arrived without even pausing at admissions. Anna and Diana paced nervously in the waiting room for news, any news. Good, bad, or indifferent, they really didn’t care. They just wanted someone to tell them something. But nothing came. The doctor walked straight past them and into James’s room without as much as a glance in their direction. Nurses emerged with dejected faces. None of the signs looked promising. If possible they looked like they were getting even gloomier. Anna was fizzing with impatience. News spread around the hospital like wildfire that James was in emergency and soon the waiting room began filling.

A young nurse came out of the room. “Mrs. Thompson, Ms. White?” she enquired, looking more than a little lost and overwhelmed. She was a tall scraggly looking woman. Her long blonde hair was in disarray, flowing in glorious golden abandon over her shoulder. Her thin white apron wasn’t doing much to hide the soft, feminine curves of her body. She stood, hands on hips, as her eyes darted around the waiting room searching for the women.

Anna shot a worried glance at Diana. Together they anxiously stood up. Diana clutched at Anna’s hand. Anna gave it a quick squeeze. Anna knew James. And she knew that he wouldn’t let this minor setback derail him. James was stubborn if nothing else. He wouldn’t give up. Not now. Not when he was so close. “Can you please follow me?” the bouncy young nurse invited.

Hand in hand, Diana and Anna navigated their way through the corridors and into the room. James lay motionless on the bed; his face told the story of heartbreak and dejection. Anna couldn’t help herself. She ambled over and perched herself on the edge of James’s bed; Diana stood quietly, barely in the door. Wrapping her hand in James’s, the warmth there gave Anna the courage to breathe for the first time. But in the same moment that Anna felt like she had regained her bearings she risked a glance at Diana. Something was off. She could feel it. The desperation and worry that had consumed Diana on the drive had faded and in its place was a sadness that Anna didn’t understand.

“Sweetie.” Anna brushed the hair off his forehead. “What’s the verdict? You okay?” The desperation was obvious as Anna tried to fight back tears. She was praying that he was okay.

James turned his head and looked at Anna directly. “I’m gonna be fine. I’ve just rolled my ankle. If I keep off it for a few days and rest up it shouldn’t even affect my campaign,” James explained as a smile of relief crept across his face.

Diana let out a heavy sigh. “That’s great news, honey. I’ll go and ring the others and let them know the good news.” Diana gave him a quick kiss on his forehead before vanishing out the door.

The blonde nurse told them that she would go find him a pair of crutches, and then Anna could take him home.

Once they were alone Anna’s tears surfaced. “Thank god you’re okay. I have never been so scared in my life. You do realise that you are officially banned from playing basketball, especially with my sister. Forever,” Anna laughed, giving James a hug so tight it almost cut off his circulation.

“Hey, hey,” James murmured, lifting her head up to his face. “I’m fine. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay. But you, my dear, are just going to have to be at my beck and call for the next couple of weeks,” he reaffirmed with a smirk.

“Weeks?”

“Yep–weeks.”

“Really?” Anna raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe days,” James conceded.

“I think I can manage that.” Anna sniffed, wiping at her face.

A few minutes later the nurse reappeared with a set of crutches, which she adjusted awkwardly to accommodate James’s towering height. After signing a few autographs, Anna led him out of the hospital and helped him into the car. Diana was more than happy to get as far away from the hospital as quickly as possible.

“Let’s go home,” Diana said, turning out of the hospital car park.

***

Joel

When the news reached Joel he was sent spinning. The first he heard of it was when a news bulletin broke the silence announcing, “James Thompson has been admitted to hospital only a week before he was due to fly out to represent Australia at the upcoming World Championships in Manchester.” Before the bulletin had even finished, Joel was pacing the room, trying desperately to get Anna on the phone.

“Anna! What the hell happened? Is he okay?” Joel’s heart was racing. He knew how much James loved the opportunity to represent his country and race with the best of the best.

“Joel, breathe…just breathe. He’s fine. It’s just a sprained ankle. As long as he listens to the doctor and keeps off it he’ll be fine.” Anna’s tone was firm and reassuring.

Joel let out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Thank fuck. Can you handle him? Make him stay in bed for a few days.”

“No probs. I have my ways,” Anna giggled.

“I do not want details.” Joel laughed, before wishing her good luck and hanging up.

Joel was strangely happy with his star swimmer’s injury. He knew that whenever James was coming into a major competition he tended to push himself too hard, but now, with James bedridden, he could use the time to prepare himself mentally for the upcoming battles. A week before most major competitions Joel would try and wrap James in cotton wool. He would do anything in his power to protect him from anything and everything that threatened. He had never successfully achieved this but now, with James stuck in a bed on doctor’s orders, he hoped maybe this time he would be able to accomplish it, especially with Anna on his side. Even if James refused to see it, or admit it, Anna controlled his every move.

***

Anna

The next morning they packed up the car and bid farewell to Anna’s family. James apologised almost non-stop for ruining the dinner and making Kate feel so guilty for his injury. After assuring and reassuring her that it was an accident they headed home.

James was the world’s worst patient. After attempting to look after him for less than twenty-four hours, Anna was ready to strangle him. He flat out refused to do anything he was supposed to. Anna told him he was to stay in bed and watch television and she would wait on him hand and foot, but that was too much to ask. James was the most stubborn person Anna had ever met, and now he was acting like a child. The moment he was told not to do something he would go out of his way to do it.

“Would you please at least try to be good and behave yourself or else I’ll have to—” Anna negotiated.

“Or else you’ll what?” James baited her.

“Or else I’ll have to—damn it. I hate you! You know that I can’t do anything to you. You’re such a pain in the ass.” Anna laughed as she clambered up on the bed next to him.

“No, you don’t. You love me, admit it,” James taunted, pulling Anna over so that she was now lying with her head resting on his chest.

The next few days were uneventful. Anna and James spent most of their time together, cocooned in their own little bubble. James knew Anna wasn’t coming to Manchester to see him compete. She had commitments she needed to keep. She had to go back to school and finish her studies. She had missed so much already, and as much as Anna wanted to go, now was just not the time for her to start tripping around the world. Despite his disappointment, James understood and accepted it.

The day he was due to fly out, Anna was up before dawn and at James’s house. He was already awake, it was almost as if he knew the exact moment that Anna would breeze through his front door. Dawn hadn’t broken yet and the grass was covered in a light blanket of dew. The day was innocent, the air was clean and crisp, and Anna took a deep breath before knocking on James’s front door.

As soon as she knocked the door sprung open and James yanked her inside enthusiastically. Diana and Michael sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast, while they laughed at James’s erratic behaviour. They had never seen him so anxious to see somebody in his life. He was acting like a caged lion. It was in those moments, that it was obvious to anyone watching just how big of a part Anna played in James’s life. He was well and truly gone.

***

Anna

“Morning, Anna,” Diana said pleasantly, pouring her a cup of coffee. Anna sat down beside Michael silently and sipped it slowly. She was too scared to speak. It was like no matter which words Anna chose, they could never convey what she really wanted to say. James would be gone for just over four and a half weeks. It’s only thirty-two days, Anna kept reminding herself. It was her coping mechanism, especially at the airport. The conversation was lively between the four, yet Anna seemed distant and not her normal chirpy self.

“James, have you finished packing?” Diana asked. Glances were exchanged knowingly. James never packed until the absolute last moment. But now with only six hours left before he boarded the plane, time was running out.

“Fine. I’ll do it now, okay?” James whined. “Come and help me?” he asked, pulling Anna from her chair.

“Be there in a second.” She smiled, looking up into his dazzling eyes. After James left the room the fake happiness faded from Anna’s face and misery consumed her. She glanced at Michael and Diana, who were both watching her intently, waiting for her to speak or waiting for her to cry, they weren’t really sure what would come first. “Look after him for me, please,” she pleaded. Her eyes were so filled with pain that Diana couldn’t understand.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Michael pledged her, wrapping his arms around her. “He’ll be back in your arms, safe and sound, in thirty-two short days. Promise.” Anna could tell by the genuine expression on his face that Michael meant every word.

“Thank you.” Anna exhaled as a tear ran down her cheek. “I’d better go and help him. Otherwise he’ll be in England before he realises that he didn’t pack any socks.” Anna smiled tightly and disappeared out the door.

Diana and Michael just watched her disappear. “She really does make him happy, doesn’t she? Thank god someone is going to be able to look after him. He’s my son, and I love him. I really do. But you and I both know that he’d never manage it on his own,” Diana confessed.

***

James

In James’s bedroom, Anna perched herself on the bed and picked at her fingernails, watching him fill his suitcase. James haphazardly tossed jeans, shirts, underwear, and towels in the direction of his suitcase. Most ended up piled up on the floor beside his suitcase rather than in it. Ten minutes later it was bulging so much that it wouldn’t shut. He glanced over at Anna, who was by now in a trance. He saw in her face how much she would miss him and it dawned on him just how much he would miss her too.

“It’s not for that long, Princess.” James forced himself to sound upbeat and positive, even if he was faking it. He needed Anna to believe that everything was okay. “The way I figure it, if we have somehow managed to survive everything that has happened in the past few months, another couple of weeks will be a piece of cake. And when I get home, Princess, you and I are going to get married and get our happily ever after.”

“You sound very sure of yourself.”

“I am. Four weeks and then we will be together. Forever.”

“Forever. Four weeks just seems like such a long time. But I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m fine. I’m just being a baby. Let’s just get you packed so you can make your plane,” Anna admitted, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Come here.” James pulled her into his arms. “I can’t wait to marry you,” he confessed as he buried his face in her hair.

“You better believe it!” Anna giggled, tipping his suitcase upside down. “You’re worse than a damn woman when you pack.” Anna took charge of the packing and twenty minutes later his suitcase was neatly zipped.

Wandering downstairs, Anna grabbed another cup of coffee while James quickly demolished a banana. Caffeine seemed to be the only thing keeping Anna going. Despite the fact that they were both so used to getting up in the early hours of the morning, for some reason they both appeared as though they were moving at the speed of a snail. Or, if at all possible, backwards. The only thing they wanted to do was fall asleep and pretend the world outside didn’t exist. Hand in hand, enveloped by a thick melancholy silence, they walked outside and sat by the pool, dangling their feet in the water.

The sun was beginning to rise as the sky was painted fiery oranges and the first rays of warmth touched their cheeks. Both James and Anna were too scared to speak. They both knew that it was only four weeks and with how crazy the past couple of weeks had been a break was something they should be looking forward to, time to regroup, time to breathe, but for some reason it seemed to be hanging over them like a death sentence. There was so much doom and gloom that James began to think the tension would suffocate him.

“Princess. It’s okay. I promise.” James knew without a doubt that he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure Anna was okay. “Besides with me out of your hair, you’ll have plenty of time to finish organising this wedding of ours.” James smiled, snaking his arm around her waist.

“My god! I haven’t even started,” Anna confessed. James was sent spinning into a state of shock. He thought for sure that between Anna, Kathryn, and Diana this wedding would be all finalised by now.

“What?” James exclaimed, sharper than he had intended. He felt as though Anna had stabbed him in the heart. For no reason at all a jolt of amazement and loss shot through him.

“Honestly, I haven’t even started. I haven’t picked out a dress, or flowers, or a cake, or even the colour theme. We haven’t even set a date yet! There was no rush to organise invitations and a reception. I just haven’t gotten there yet,” Anna confessed timidly.

“I’m starting to wonder whether or not you actually want to be married or if you just want to stay engaged forever. Because really, I thought I made myself perfectly clear, Anna. I want to marry you! I don’t want to just be engaged. For me being engaged is just a means to an end. It’s a stepping stone. But it looks like you don’t even want to take the next step.” All of James’s hurt and frustration gushed out.

“How can you even think that? I want to marry you. More than you can possibly imagine. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. From the first moment you asked me out I’ve wanted to marry you. And maybe even before that. But right now, I don’t want to fight with you. Please don’t do this. Please, James,” Anna begged.

As much as James knew that now wasn’t the time to pick a fight, he couldn’t help himself. “No! Let’s do this now. If you want to marry me as much as you claim, then tell me why the hell you haven’t started planning yet?” James was so angry and he was taking it out on Anna. He was using her to work out his frustrations and it didn’t seem to matter that he knew it was cruel, the horrible, hurtful words just kept coming.

“If you really want to know, the truth is I don’t want a big wedding. I never have. I wasn’t one of those young prissy fifteen years old girls who planned their wedding down to the last detail. I just need some time to decide exactly what it is that I want. This is supposed to be the most memorable and magical day of our lives. I want it to be perfect.” Anna eyes were heavy with unshed tears.

James felt like an arse. He could see the gut-wrenching pain and relentless fears reflected in Anna’s wide eyes. Knowing he was responsible for the misery he softened instantly. “So, what do you want?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know,” Anna confessed as the dam broke and the tears trickled down her cheeks.

“Well, I guess you have four weeks to figure it out, don’t you? I think you should go. I have a flight to catch so I better get moving.” James jumped to his feet, pulling Anna up with him before he unceremoniously walked her to the door. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back,” he snapped coldly, slamming the door in her face.

James’s fury had more than doubled as he stormed through the house. He couldn’t understand what the hell Anna was up to. She had him spinning, and not just off his axis. More like a tornado sweeping through his life. First she had left him, saying that he deserved better, then after all of the mess had finally settled down she still hadn’t even begun planning their wedding, something she claimed meant more to her than anything. Every moment they spent together Anna kept assuring him that she loved him. It baffled him.

“Where’s Anna?” Michael asked.

“She left,” James snapped.

“What? Where did she go?”

“I don’t know. Home, I guess.” James was already storming up the stairs two at a time.

“James! What did you do?”

“Nothing! If Anna doesn’t want to marry me, then she shouldn’t waste her time coming to the airport,” James growled, slamming his bedroom door in his father’s face.

“James, you truly are an idiot. That girl loves you. And you sent her packing—moments before you leave the country. Have you even thought about what you’ve done? Go and apologise. You only have fifteen minutes before we have to leave,” Michael commanded, forcing his way into his snarly son’s bedroom.

“No, Dad. If she doesn’t want to marry me, I’m not going to chase her. I’ve done enough chasing. I’m over it,” James shouted.

“Bullshit!” Michael countered.

“Leave it alone, Dad,” James warned.

“James, stop being so damn pig-headed. Pull your head out of your arse and own up to the fact that you fucked up,” Michael spoke to the closed door.

James’s childish temper tantrums meant they were late arriving at the airport to meet the others. Joel had already melted into panic mode. He was convinced James was going to be a no show. Diana and Michael strode over purposely and joined the rest of the group preparing to head out. In the years since James had made his first Australian team, Diana and Michael had become great friends with some of the other parents. They had a common understanding. They all knew the day to day pressures their children faced, and they would all support each other no matter the outcome. James stood back from the others, his bad mood still radiating from every pore. His silence only drew more attention to him.

“Where’s Anna?” Ian asked, confused.

“I have no idea what the hell Anna’s doing,” James voice fractured the silence.

Ian turned to the rest of the squad members and chuckled. “Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning! Or the wrong bed!”

A few hours later James sat lifelessly on the plane. He still hadn’t spoken a word. He was letting it eat away at him. Why had he left things with Anna like that? He’d been hurt. But that was no excuse. He was still so angry that he wouldn’t let himself accept that he might have made a mistake. By the time he got off the plane, James still hadn’t calmed. He was still ropable. If anything, the more time he spent stewing on their argument and the more times he twisted it around and around in his mind the more he became convinced he was right.