Текст книги "Perfection Is Just An Illusion"

Автор книги: Rebecca Barber

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

***

Anna

Anna wasn’t ready to go home. She needed time to digest what just happened. She couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing she’d been rejected. Again. Cast aside. Forcing the hurt aside, Anna determined to savour every moment of it. The ground was steadily being covered in a dusting of soft white snow. It was a clear night with a light breeze blowing at her back. Wrapping her arms around her chest like armour against the cold, Anna continued to walk down the road, often stopping to admire the window displays. Despite being completely bewitched by her surroundings Anna was confused and hurt by what had happened. Maybe it was what hadn’t happened? She didn’t know what she had done wrong nor could she understand why he had left in such a hurry. With her heart pounding in her chest, Anna lost interest in the romance of her surroundings and caught a taxi back to the hotel.

As Anna wandered thoughtlessly through the front door she was nearly bowled over by Diana, who came flying down the stairs to greet her. “Where have you been? We’ve been so worried,” Diana was babbling, barely forming actual words.

“I went for a walk. I was with James, you knew that. I don’t understand.” Anna was bewildered as to why all the panic.

“James got back to his hotel over an hour ago. He rang to make sure you got home safely. What happened? Where did you get to? Are you all right? Anna, talk to me. Please,” Diana interrogated, demanding an explanation.

“Well, after James left I just kept walking. I needed a chance to breathe. Get my head together. I had a lot on my mind,” Anna tried desperately to explain, but she was inconsolable as the dam burst and large, fat tears swallowed her. Something inside her snapped and she was consumed by feelings of guilt and frustration. She wanted to scream and throw things and kick her legs, but she knew none of it would help. She wanted desperately to understand why James had walked away, and so damn easily. Then the sad realisation crept in that maybe this was a sign that things weren’t going to work out for them after all.

For some strange reason Grant appeared in Anna’s mind. She remembered his hurtful words. She recalled what Justin had tried to tell her, and then unconsciously her mind drifted to the car accident which had almost ended her life prematurely. Maybe this was it. How it was supposed to be. Had Grant been right when he told her that James deserved better? Or had Justin been right suggesting James didn’t want anything more than Anna could give him? She was more confused than ever before.

“Anna, what the hell happened? What did that idiot son of mine do this time?” Michael asked firmly. The directness of his words made Anna do a double take. Michael couldn’t help but grin with satisfaction when he saw a smile creep out from underneath Anna’s tears.

“Nothing. He didn’t do anything wrong. I think I did,” Anna sobbed, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand and sniffing loudly.

“I don’t understand,” Michael admitted, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

“Nobody knew it, but when James and I got together we agreed that we wouldn’t sleep together until we were married. It wasn’t a big deal. It was something that I believed in and James just accepted it. No questions asked. He never once pushed. Our entire relationship he’s been nothing but a perfect gentleman. You raised a great guy, Michael, you really did.” Anna forced a sad smile. “But last night we got carried away, and now, I feel like he blames me. Nothing happened, but James won’t even look at me. I can’t help but think that this is his way of ending things.” Anna collapsed into Michael’s arms. She was more exhausted than she realised. Her whole body shook violently with sobs and without Michael’s support she would have slumped to the floor in a puddle.

The shock etched on Michael’s face was evident. James and Anna had waited. They were so in love and so comfortable in other other’s arms that that to anyone looking they were one hundred percent together. “Anna, Princess. Come on, sweetheart. You know James better than that. And you know he wouldn’t do that to you. He loves you too much to ever hurt you. Deep down you know that.”

“I know he loves me. I do. I’m just not sure that he loves me enough anymore.” Anna’s smile almost broke Michael’s heart. Pulling her back from him, Michael planted his hands on her shoulders, waiting ’til he was sure she was stable enough on her feet to let her go. “Thank you, Michael. For everything.” Michael just nodded and vanished out the door.

***

James

Diana sat in the centre of her bed, trying to calm down her son, who was pacing around the room like a caged lion. When Anna had taken so long to get back to the hotel, James had been frantic with worry and rushed across town. “James, she’s fine. She just went for a walk. Why don’t you talk to her instead of snapping at me?” Diana suggested honestly.

James answered his mother coldly. “No!” with a simple, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night,” he stormed out.

Michael walked in and plastered his face with a fake smile. “Children are all fun and games, aren’t they?” he chuckled, flopping onto the bed next to his wife.

“What the hell is going on between those two? Three hours ago they couldn’t keep their eyes or hands off one another. Now one is crying her eyes out and the other is being a complete Neanderthal. What the hell happened?” Diana asked, laying her head down next to Michael’s.

“Actually,” Michael said, “I think it’s what’s not happening that’s hurting them.” Diana shot her husband a puzzled look. “It seems they have some old fashioned ideas.”

“What?”

“Anna believes in no sex before marriage.”

“What?” Diana gasped, shocked. She was there and helped to pick out the lingerie that James had bought her months ago. “That doesn’t sound right.”

“I swear! It’s the truth. Anna just told me. Last night everything that they knew and believed in almost came crashing down. And it seems like neither of them know how to deal with it. She’s scared he may want more. And I’m not quite sure what his problem is. But they need to sort this out now otherwise he won’t be focused on swimming tomorrow,” Michael stated bluntly. “They’re both just so damn stubborn.”

“I don’t think he’ll be able to put it behind him. He’s a complete mess at the moment,” Diana admitted, grabbing the phone. She put a call straight through to Joel, who she knew would still be awake.

Joel was pacing back and forth around his hotel suite. “I hate bloody waiting,” He muttered to himself. “Just get the damn thing over and done with. Celebrate me or crucify me, just get it over with.” Slumping forward, Joel poured himself a stiff brandy and watched as the snow fell to the ground. The phone rang and Joel nearly jumped through the roof.

“Hello?” Joel slurred after his standard two glasses of nerve calming bourbon.

“Joel? Is that you?” Diana questioned. She had known Joel since he first became James’s coach, many years ago. Now the two families were attached not only through swimming but they had become the very best of friends.

“Diana. What can I do for you?” Joel looked at his watch; it was much later than he had thought.

“Just wanted to give you the heads up that James and Anna have had a huge fight. It has threatened to end everything. We need your help to fix this before he swims tomorrow morning.” Diana had already formulated a plan, now she just needed Joel’s assistance to pull it off.

“Say no more. What do you need me to do?”

Diana explained the plan step by step before getting Joel’s word that he would make sure James was where he needed to be, when he needed to be. Diana thanked Joel for his help and hung up.

***

Anna

Anna had already begun packing. She’d already placed calls to the airline and taken the only available seat tomorrow afternoon on a flight to London. She’d then stay overnight in London before boarding a direct flight back to Sydney. Although she was almost blinded by tears, she was determined. If James didn’t want her here, then she wouldn’t be. As efficiently as possible she stuffed clothes back into her suitcase, collected her bathroom belongings, leaving out only what she would need in the morning. After running around madly for nearly an hour, an exhausted Anna fell into bed, wrapping her body around the pillow.

***

James

James couldn’t sleep that night either. His guilt was all consuming. James knew he had to be in the pool by six but at four in the morning he was still staring aimlessly at the ceiling. He couldn’t figure out why he had run out on Anna. She was trying to do something special for him, she looked absolutely edible, and he had left her walking the streets of Manchester in the snow. Alone.

James was furious with himself for not talking to Anna when he was at Chesterfield Castle. What had she been thinking to go walking the streets alone? Why hadn’t she gone straight back to the hotel? Why hadn’t he taken her back? He was the one who was supposed to keep her safe and instead he’d left her alone in the middle of a deserted park in the middle of the night. But the one question that threatened to burn a hole right through him was what would happen next? Nobody knew the answer. And sadly nobody could help him figure it out. That was something that he and Anna would have to face on their own.

***

Anna

Anna rose early that morning, determined to cram as much as she could into the little time she had left. She showered quickly and emerged wearing a pair of faded jeans and a baggy cream turtleneck jumper. Her hair was gathered under a black beret, which allowed a mass of long brown curls to flow down her back. It was a relatively simple outfit, but when combined with a discreet amount of natural coloured makeup she looked understated but classy. Her first stop would be to the brook at the bottom of the gardens. In the few short hours Anna had been in England it had already wormed its way into her broken heart.

It was still dark outside as she slipped quietly down the stairs and out the front door. The gardens were still coated by a dusting of fine white snow. A heavy fog lingered in the air, making everything feel sad and haunted. At the bottom of the garden Anna sat down on a cold, snow covered rock and watched with fascination as the water trickled down, passing over the mossy rocks. There was no sign of life. The birds had left the trees and the huge green frog was long gone. A deathly silence hung heavily in the air. After half an hour or so, when the damp had seeped through her jeans Anna left paradise and headed back towards the castle.

***

James

James was in the pool early. He dived in and started lapping at five that morning. He was confident that he could win his races but it was the sitting in his room, not doing anything that was driving him crazy. Sitting alone in silence, revisiting that stupid fight with Anna, James had to do something physical to distract himself. Now as he lapped up and down, he realised it wasn’t working. Anna invaded his thoughts no matter where he went or what he was doing.

Ian wandered down a little after six. With a combination of awe and envy in his eyes, Ian watched as James pushed harder and faster than ever. With a little over five hours before he went head to head with the world’s best, he looked like he was doing his best to tire himself out now. As James approached the end of the lane, Ian tapped him on the shoulder. “Mate, what are you doing? Take it easy. The races aren’t until later.” Ian laughed, trying to make James smile. It was obvious to anyone that something was wrong. Really wrong.

“I’m good. I just thought I could do with the extra training.” James’s attempt to lie was a pathetic one and he knew it.

“Are you fucking serious? In all your races you are at least one second ahead of everyone and in one race you are five seconds clear. You don’t need the extra training. What you do need to do is apologise to that fiancée of yours before it’s too late.” Ian smirked cheekily.

“You know?” James asked. Ian just nodded and handed James a towel. James was already running across the pool deck when he turned and called out his thanks.

When he reached his hotel room, Joel was already sitting on his bed waiting. With a smile bigger than the cat that ate the canary, Joel couldn’t stifle a laugh as James ran straight past him and dived head first into the shower. Joel continued to chuckle as James broke yet another world record for the fastest man ever to shower and dress. When he emerged barely moments later he had only four hours before his races started, yet for some reason this didn’t seem important anymore. Nothing was as important as finding Anna. Within minutes he had jumped in a taxi and raced across town towards Anna.

James sprang from the car and took the stairs two at a time. He met his mother on the landing about halfway up. James nearly knocked her off her feet as he came rushing around the corner.

“James! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Diana asked, attempting to avert her son’s attention.

“Mum, where is she?” James pleaded.

“James, come sit down and I’ll order you a coffee,” Diana begged.

“Mum!” James shouted. “Which one is Anna’s room? Please,” he begged, dragging his hands through his hair.

“It was room twenty-six.”

“What the hell do you mean it ‘was’? Where is she? What the fuck is going on?” James boomed, his voice a mixture of rage and fear. He was running out of time and now his own mother was playing tricks on him.

“James, sweetheart. Anna left early this morning. She has checked out. Without a word, she’s gone. Your father has been out looking for her all morning but we have no idea even where to start.” Diana watched her son closely. His eyes filled with tears as the realisation set in. James’s heart broke as he sunk to his knees.

It took him a few minutes to pull himself together before he ran back down the stairs and out the door. James didn’t know where to start looking for her, but he knew that she would head for home. And James knew he had to stop her before she got that far. He caught a taxi back to the restaurant where they had dined last night. From there he planned to retrace the exact steps that she had led him down last night. Maybe she had gone there? But what if she wasn’t? Where else could she be? He reached the restaurant and there was no sign of her. James recognised the face of the waitress who had been flirting with him and with a fake smile he turned and walked inside. He begged her for help. She finally gave in and told him that Anna had walked past only half an hour ago. Finally, he had something he could work with. It mightn’t be much but right now he was clinging to straws and that would have to be enough.

Running down the street, across the snow-covered grass in the park, James’s runners crackled on the frozen grass. The air was crisp and clean, the breeze stinging James’s eyes as he willed himself to run faster and further. He searched for any sign of her. His lungs began to ache from the gasps of frigid air he was sucking in. He knew this was a less than ideal preparation for tonight’s final but Anna was too important to care about anything else. He stopped to catch his breath and slumped over, hands on his knees. It was then that he had found it. The sign that he had been praying for. It was the crucifix off Anna’s chain that hung around her neck. James picked up the tiny silver cross and looked around, his eyes searching. His heart told him that she couldn’t be too far away. With renewed energy, James began to run again.

***

Anna

Anna stood motionless outside a toy store, completely captivated by the window display. The gasp caught in Anna’s throat as she took it all in. Wooden train sets, porcelain dolls, the softest teddy bears, bats, and balls, and Barbies all lined the shelves in perfect harmony. Inside she saw a little girl hugging her father’s leg, begging for all the toys she could get her hands on. It reminded Anna of her own father. When Anna was little her dad would take her shopping and buy her toys and clothes and chocolates. Now even in her adult years she still remained as close as ever to her father. Anna had this hidden ability to get anything she wanted from him.

Anna shuffled down the pavement slowly. The soft, fluffy snowflakes were filling her hair while her eyes sparkled with all the hope and joy that she had just seen in that little girl’s eye. Maybe I’ll go home and spend some time with Mum and Dad, Anna thought miserably. She had nothing else to do. The only thing she had planned for when she returned was a wedding. A wedding that she now needed to cancel. Anna’s fingertips were beginning to freeze and she decided that a cup of coffee would warm her before she headed for the airport.

Anna strolled into a small, cosy café dragging her heavy suitcase along behind her. After ordering her coffee and a cinnamon scroll, she sat down in a booth looking out the window. The snow was falling harder now and had begun to pile up on the windowsill. The busy streets were filling with shoppers; the roads were becoming congested with the early morning traffic. Anna sat in silence, watching the people in the outside world continue with their busy lives without a care in the world.

“You all right, Miss?” a young man asked, refilling her cup.

“Sorry. I beg your pardon?” Anna had been brought back from wherever it was that her imagination had taken her.

“You sure that you’re okay?” He smiled at her. He was a handsome young man, even in his black shirt, matching pants and red apron that hung low on his hips. Anna guessed he would have been in his late thirties or early forties.

“Yes, thank you.” Anna forced a smile.

“Let me guess,” he said, as he slid into the other side of the booth. “You’ve just had your heartbroken or you’ve just broken someone’s heart.” His eyes glowed with truth and genuine concern.

“Something like that,” Anna spluttered. “I don’t think he’s even realised that I’m gone.” A single tear escaped and trickled over Anna’s cheek.

“I’m sure he does. My guess is he’s out there somewhere searching for you this very moment.” He smiled at her. “You’re Australian, aren’t you?”

“Yes. How did you guess?” Anna’s mood began to lighten.

“Your accent. I like it. I’m William. How do you do, Miss…”

“It’s very nice to meet you, William. I’m Anna. Anna White.” She smiled warmly, placing her hand in his. Anna was quickly flustered as he dropped a quick kiss on her knuckles instead of the expected hand shake. This man was old enough to be her father yet he was giving her butterflies in her stomach.

“So tell me, what’s Australia like?” he asked. For the next forty-five minutes they sat chatting like they were the oldest and dearest friends. He asked about the wildlife and the geography, history and food all while carefully avoiding anything personal. In turn, Anna asked him all about England and congratulated him on everything she had already experienced.

“So, Anna. You speak about Australia with such passion; it’s as if part of your country and culture in somehow embedded into who you are. So, tell me then why are you in England? You make Australia sound so incredible, I can’t understand why anyone would ever want to leave.” His honesty was a trait which Anna admired.

“I’m here with my fiancé. But me being here, turns out it was a mistake. So I’m on my way home.” Anna’s upbeat and cheery mood quickly dissipated, as she unconsciously started fidgeting with her engagement ring.

“Why is he in England? That is, if you don’t mind me asking.” This guy was good. He had cheered Anna up and was now trying to make her see sense. Running away was not the answer.

“He came to swim,” Anna answered flatly.

“Oh, a swimmer?” Anna just nodded. “Which one is he? I take it he swims for Australia?” William asked politely.

“James Thompson,” she answered nervously. Her heart broke again as his name fell from her lips.

“You mean that gorgeous young man standing out there in the cold and snow? The one whose eyes haven’t left you?” William asked, pointing to where James was standing.

Anna looked up and saw him. He looked as incredible as he always did. James gave her a small tight smile before heading for the door. Anna turned around to thank William for making her see sense, but he was gone. Anna smiled to herself as she stood up and watched James waltz through the door. People in the café instantly recognised him. James grinned at them as if he didn’t have a care in the world as he approached Anna’s table. Without exchanging a word, they fell into each other’s arms. The customers in the café cheered and clapped as Anna blushed from head to toe. She could see everyone’s gaze following their every move.

As much as she didn’t want to let go, reluctantly, she did. James looked at his watch, he had just less than an hour before his first race. Anna knew what he was thinking and nodded her agreement. James grabbed her suitcase in one hand and took Anna’s in the other and stepped out onto the street. Hesitating, Anna raced back inside, straight to the counter where William appeared. Anna leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you said.”

“Anytime, Aussie. Anytime.” William smirked and with that Anna rushed back to James’s side.

The taxi ride was silent. James sat with an arm tightly around Anna’s shoulders, his eyes closed, breathing steadily. Anna was so relieved to be back in the comfort and safety of James’s strong arms. They both knew everything had changed but neither wanted to acknowledge it. James and Anna both hoped that if they ignored it long enough, then it would simply go away and everything would go back to the way it was. It was every child’s false hope, and one Anna shared.

James and Anna ran up the stairs to his hotel room. He was running out of time. Joel would kill him if he failed to show up. He threw Anna’s suitcase onto his bed. By the time Anna caught up with him, he was already stuffing his swimming gear into his bag. “We really need to talk, but I have to be at the pool in ten minutes. Can we do it after the finals tonight? I’m really sorry but there’s just no time,” James apologised, dropping everything and wrapping his arms firmly around her waist.

“Tonight will be good,” Anna reassured him.

“Promise you’ll be at my races. I can’t do this without you.” He looked deep into her eyes, pinning her.

“Promise.” Anna kissed the end of his nose lightly. “Now go, you’ll be late.”

***

Michael

Diana and Michael had been at the pool for over an hour and were becoming increasingly concerned. Where was James? Why wasn’t he here yet? What could he be doing? Joel had worked himself into a frenzy. Michael had spent the early part of the morning searching for Anna but had come up empty-handed. He had his suspicions that James was still out doing the same but he had no proof. Michael held a not so secret desire for his son to find Anna rather than turn up to swim without her.

James ran through the doors and crashed straight into Joel almost knocking him on his arse. After helping him up, James scurried into the change rooms. Joel looked up into the stands to where Diana and Michael were sitting and nodded silently. They all knew what that meant. James had arrived and everything was going to be okay.

A few moments later, after having received her official accreditation pass, Anna clambered into the stands and sat down next to Michael. “Hi,” she cooed sweetly. She didn’t know how they would react to seeing her after everything she had put them through in the last twenty-four hours.

“Thank God he found you,” Michael said, letting out a sigh of relief. He stood up and gave Anna a huge hug. Just then James appeared on pool deck and shot his father a disapproving look.

“Hey! Hands off,” James called to his father. Both men’s face broke out in wide smile. Diana stood and gave Anna a hug before they all took their seats waiting for the first race to start.

“Would you please welcome the competitors in the first race in the Manchester 2001 World Championships? The men’s four hundred metre freestyle. In lane one, representing America, Bronson Smith. In lane two, Charles Clancy, representing Britain. In lane three, Kenneth Brennan, representing South Africa. In lane four, representing Australia, James Thompson. In lane five, Jiro Takashi, representing Japan. In lane six, Ian Gray, representing Australia. In lane seven, Giovanni Van Bronkhurst, representing the Netherlands. And in lane eight, Pedro Sosa, representing Brazil,” a sultry voice boomed over the microphone system.

It was only the heats and no one really expected anything extraordinary from anyone. This was simply a race to ensure they qualified for tonight’s final. In the men’s four hundred metres there were only four heats, each containing competitors from every corner of the globe. James had drawn heat one alone with Ian. This was the first time James and Ian had been pitted against each other at an international meet. They often raced each other at training but this time it was serious. Just as Ian knew all of James’s strengths and weaknesses, James knew his.

They dived in and James came up stroking first and in front. This was what everyone had learnt to expect from James. To lead early and maintain that position the entire race. By halfway James held only a slender lead over Ian, but it was the back half of James’s swims where he would usually bury a competitor. At the final turn James had moved two body lengths ahead before he eased off and glided into the wall. When he spun around and looked at his time, something that was an ingrained habit, he saw that he had just broken the meet record by more than a second. James was in sensational form and now all that was left to do was wait for his competitors’ times to be registered and make sure he was in the top eight. Even eighth would secure him a place in tonight’s gold medal final.

As it turned out, James had nothing to fear. He was safely through, ahead of all the competition by more than a second. A wave of relief flushed over both James and Anna’s faces simultaneously. In the past twenty-four hours they had overcome so much and now everything was as it should be. James was doing what he did best. Swimming. Competing. Winning. And Anna was sitting in the stands ready to stand by his side no matter what. Now that he was through to the finals they could breathe again.

***

Anna

After the heats had all finished, Anna decided that she needed some air, just to calm her nerves. Michael insisted that he accompany her for her own safety. Together they walked through the cold, damp streets of Manchester, past an oval where small kids tried to play soccer but kept tripping over their own feet, before arriving at a small church. Anna’s face lit up as she marvelled at the beautiful sixteenth century chapel’s stained glass windows.

“Come on.” Michael smiled, grabbing her hand and leading her towards the door. “Let’s get out of this cold for five minutes.”

Blowing on her hands to warm them, Anna didn’t hesitate to agree.