Текст книги "Perfection Is Just An Illusion"

Автор книги: Rebecca Barber

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

“No, smartie pants. Then on the top floor, a huge master bedroom, with walk-in wardrobe and bathroom. In the bathroom it will have a huge shower and double spa. Also on this floor will be another three bedrooms, so the kids have somewhere of their own, a living area, and a huge country style kitchen. The lounge dining room will have polished wood floors with bay windows that reach from floor to ceiling, overlooking the water. In the centre of one of the cream coloured walls will be a large open fire place, with a big, white, soft rug on the floor in front of it,” James stared at Anna wide-eyed.

“Do I get any say at all in this house?” Anna baited him.

“I haven’t actually decided yet,” James played along. “So tell me, do you like the sound of it so far?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’d have to see it. It all sounds good except for the kids’ bedrooms,” Anna retorted. She knew by goading him she’d get a reaction. James finished explaining the details to her. He knew exactly what colours the walls would be. He knew every flower that would be planted in the garden. James could already feel the soft carpet between his toes. It was as if he had already lived a life in his dream home.

After a long leisurely lunch James and Anna headed back to the hotel to collect their swimmers. James was due at training and now was as good a chance as any for Anna to work the jet lag out of her system. She always felt out of place lapping up and down the pool with world champions, Olympic legends, and world record holders in the next lane. Yet they all knew who she was and never made her feel out of place. While they were in heavy training no one spoke, they were just left to swim. This was just the way things worked and Anna felt a strange sense of calm by the consistency. She could do whatever she wanted, while getting some exercise and spending time with James.

When they eventually made their way back to the hotel, James confessed that he had to go into camp the next morning. This didn’t surprise Anna. He always went into camp a few days before competition. Anna assured him this was a good thing. This would give Anna time to see all that London had to offer. Soon enough Anna knew there was no place she would rather be than standing poolside being James’s loudest cheerleader.

***

Anna

The next morning, after James had packed up and joined the rest of the squad in camp, Anna and Diana headed out to have an adventure. Their sightseeing trip took them past many of the most famous English landmarks. As the double decker red bus rounded the London streets or the Monopoly board, as Anna kept referring to it, they passed Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace. The visited Westminster Abbey and the theatre made famous by William Shakespeare, the Globe. As they passed the Tower of London, their tour guide hinted of all the royal jewels housed there before breaking into song as they crossed Tower Bridge. Anna found herself wishing James could have been with her, but it was okay, he had seen it all before.

That night Michael and Diana took Anna out for dinner. They wanted to thank her; not everyone would fly halfway around the world to support their son. It was an easy dinner with great food and friendly conversation. They had long ago accepted Anna as one of their daughters. To them they didn’t hesitate to tell people that they had four children. Renee and James, and the ring-ins Ryan and Anna. All they needed now were a couple of grandkids to round out the picture.

“So, Anna. How long do I have to wait to hear someone call me Pop?” Michael mocked.

“Well, I guess you should probably ask Renee about that. I mean, when you consider the fact that she’s the one who’s married.” Anna was well aware of what they were playing at. They wanted Anna to bite but she was determined not to give them the satisfaction.

“We already have. Renee tells me that she’s going to make me wait at least another five years! She’s decided that she’s too young,” Michael taunted.

“Well, there you go then. If Renee is too young, then I must be way too young. If Renee’s waiting five years then we’ll wait ten!” Diana knew she had no chance of winning this argument, so she dropped it. When and if Anna and James were ready to have children they would. No amount of pushing, hinting or coercing would speed up their time frame.

Later that night Diana and Michael would be attending a parents’ meeting to discuss how much a pain in the arse their high maintenance and highly strung children really were. They were the ones that were required to calm down their children. Be their shoulder to cry on, their punching bag, and their greatest supporter. They were the ones who had to pick them up when their mission to succeed didn’t quite reach their sky high expectations. But when their children succeeded, they got swept along with the fun and excitement. Anna was still struggling to fight off the jetlag so retreated to bed early. By barely nine o’clock Anna was curled up in her warm, lumpy hotel bed, snoring softly.

A knock at the window just after eleven woke her with a start. Anna lay in bed listening to the incessant knocking, too scared to move. She remembered the note she’d received, the phone calls that James had gotten, and the letters that had come. Anna debated calling hotel security but decided that it was just her imagination playing tricks on her. It took her a moment and a deep breath before she was calm enough to remember that she wasn’t in Australia anymore. Surely whoever the psycho was that was tormenting them wouldn’t have followed her this far from home. Would they? Anna’s next terrifying thought turned to the reporters surrounding the hotel, waiting for anything that they could use to turn into salacious gossip. Trembling, Anna dragged herself from the warmth and comfort of her bed.

Anna considered the possibility of it being some nosy reporter, poised at the window, ready to snap a picture of Anna looking less than her best. She giggled at the image that filled her mind–the front page of the morning paper featuring her wearing her favourite flannelette polka-dotted pyjamas, her hair out of control, her face covered by a veil of exhaustion. If she opened the window, they would be shocked by the view.

Anna knew she was more than likely over-reacting, but curiosity was killing her. Slowly she stalked over to the window and drew back the curtains. James. Smiling, he looked perfect. He was soaked from the rain that had been bucketing down for the past couple of hours. Anna just grinned like the cat that caught the canary before stepping back, giving him room to climb through.

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night! Some girls need their beauty sleep,” Anna scolded as she tried to swallow the smile consuming her. But it didn’t last long. She quickly realised she wasn’t awake enough to pull off cranky.

“Can’t a guy do something nice for the woman he loves?” James laughed, sweeping Anna into his arms.

“A guy can—you, on the other hand…” she trailed off as she squirmed against his grasp. Anna was more than wide awake now. The surprise of James’s unexpected appearance and the shiver that radiated through her body caused by his damp clothes had woken her completely.

“Here I was thinking that you’d be happy to see me, but what do I get? I get a very tired and cranky fiancée who doesn’t want me. Fine then! I’ll head back and leave you alone so you can get some sleep.” James spun on his heel dramatically and headed for the window.

“Well…since you’re already here. I guess…you should at least stay. I mean at least until the rain eases. I mean…I don’t want you getting sick,” Anna conceded, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him deeper into the room.

“See, I knew that you’d come around!” Anna was already pulling at his wet shirt, determined to get it off his perfectly chiselled body. “This was more than I was counting on…” James laughed huskily. “But I’m definitely not complaining.”

“I could always stop,” Anna suggested, as she slipped his shirt from his shoulders and watched it pool at his feet.

James suddenly remembered himself and backed away from her. It caused James physical pain to see the rejection flood Anna’s beautiful face. “When can we get married? I don’t think I can restrain myself much longer.” James smiled, looking into Anna’s face with hooded, lust-filled eyes as he adjusted himself indiscreetly.

Anna couldn’t swallow her wicked grin. “Tomorrow, if you want.” Anna’s hands were moving with such lightning speed James could barely keep up. “Wait! I have a brilliant idea!” Anna whispered before nibbling on James’s earlobe.

James and Anna had been together for more than two years and sharing a bed for over six months, but for the first time she felt the uncontrollable urge to push for more. Morals be damned! If they weren’t married soon it would become impossible to resist. Anna knew from the desire that burned in his eyes that James was struggling too. For the first time James and Anna were fighting their greatest desires and most powerful urges. Their passion and hunger for each other was more intense than ever. Controlling themselves was like trying to control the tides.

James looked at Anna with wanting eyes. “I should go,” he mumbled, running his hands roughly through his hair.

Anna knew he was trying to do the right thing, trying to be a gentleman. But she didn’t want him to leave. When they were together she felt an odd sense of calm consume her. But as much as she wanted him, Anna knew that if he didn’t leave in the next few minutes all her values and morals would evaporate instantly. When it came to James, she was powerless. But guilt beat out desire as she placed her hand in the centre of James’s perfectly exposed chest and pushed him towards the window. Stepping onto the balcony with rain trickling down his face, Anna kissed him with everything that she was. “I love you. And I will see you at the pool tomorrow.”

“Promise?” James’s eyes lit up with hope.

“Promise. And if you’re a really good boy, I might even have a surprise for you once you finish competition. But only if you behave.” With chaste kiss and a playful smack on his butt, he was gone. He left just as quickly as he had arrived.

Anna stumbled back into bed, but couldn’t sleep. She spent over an hour tossing and turning. It was as if that visit from James had awoken part of her she never knew existed. Anna gave up trying to sleep and dived straight into a cold shower. Standing under the frigid water, Anna filled her hair with the apple-scented shampoo. She was trying anything to calm her hormones and get her mind off James. Anna was singing and dancing, as if she was a child. Anna didn’t feel the chill until she emerged from the shower and her toes hit the cold tiles. Perched on the side of the bathtub, wrapped in only a towel, she looked at her body, wondering what exactly it was that captured James’s attention. She looked down, examining her nakedness, and was consumed with embarrassment. She’d never considered herself to be ugly but she never thought of herself as worthy either. But sitting there exposed, she realised the complete ugliness that was her body. It wasn’t just ugly though, repulsive and vile were a more accurate description. Anna just couldn’t understand how James could possibly be interested, never mind aroused. Anna found some dry pyjamas and rushed to dress, desperate to hide.

After pouring herself a cup of herbal tea, Anna climbed into the old, rustic coloured armchair in the middle of the room. It was nearly three-thirty in the morning but there was no point bothering to go back to bed; she knew she wouldn’t sleep. Not with that many thoughts buzzing around inside of her head. She snuggled down into the comfort of the armchair with her book. Flicking through the pages absentmindedly, Anna soon realised it was no use. Nothing could distract her thoughts of James. There was no denying it. She was obsessed.

***

James

James was just as awake as Anna. He spent the night tossing and turning, trying to justify going to Anna’s hotel and why he had let things go as far as they did. The rules Anna and James had enforced onto their relationship had been crystal clear right from the start. The problem was now the lines were blurry. James knew and understood Anna’s moral code and it was one of the things that he most admired about her. The way she stuck to her guns and refused to yield, no matter how much she wanted to. James admired her strength and determination and had followed suit without hesitation, although admittedly in the last few weeks it was becoming harder and harder to stay committed.

***

Anna

The next morning Anna awoke with a kink in her neck. She’d fallen asleep in the armchair, book in her lap. Everything ached. Her body was stiff and sore from the way she had somehow managed to wrap herself around the arm of the chair. Stumbling to her feet, Anna headed back to the bathroom. Although it was only a few hours since her last shower, Anna knew the only way to work the aches and pains out of her tired body was to immerse herself in a scalding bath. Dipping a toe in, the relief was instant. Her heart was racing, her mind whirling, and her knees trembling as she recalled the way she had felt in James’s arms.

An hour later Anna was on the train heading to the pool. It gave her time to think. Anna thought about everything she’d wanted to say, about all she wished she’d done. If last night was any indication, Anna knew that the wedding couldn’t come soon enough. She just hoped that James was experiencing all the same symptoms she was. She prayed he had the strength to ignore all those thoughts and ideas, at least for the next few days.

The wedding she was planning at home in Australia was going to be one of the most important events in peoples’ social calendar, but Anna didn’t think she could wait. Anna had spent the morning on the phone scouting for the perfect little church, hidden in the English countryside where she and James could marry in secret before returning home and inviting the world to watch.

Chapter 12

Anna, Diana, and Michael checked into a quaint bed and breakfast on the outskirts of Manchester. The origins of the building were thought to be a farmhouse. Its history was reminiscent of a fairy tale. When the farmer died he left the estate to his wife and eight daughters, who unintentionally let the farm fall to ruins. When smallpox struck the family it claimed the lives of the wife and seven of the eight daughters. After years lost and alone, the sole survivor married into a wealthy family. He wasn’t the typical rich boy though, instead he was reluctantly wealthy who pretended to shun his fortune and focus on his true passion—art. When they married he moved into the farmhouse and was overcome by the potential. From that moment his sole purpose, his sole focus became restoring the overgrown and long forgotten farm to a place of beauty and solace, and that is how it had remained ever since. As the story goes that very same man who envisioned such beauty still haunts the gardens, ensuring that its splendour will survive for generations to admire.

In the early 1900s it became known as Chesterfield Castle. It was a gorgeous, old stone building with moss covered walls. It had a large, solid, oak door inviting you in. It was perched high on a five-hectare block, surrounded by gardens filled with colours, scents, and hidden treasures, that had been converted from fields which been once been overrun with chickens and goats. At night thousands of miniature fairy lights and candles illuminated the gardens. A worn cobblestone path wound through the garden to a small babbling brook. Old spruce trees lined the stream, its branches hanging heavy under the weight of the birds singing happily. On one of the large, grey boulders sat a huge slimy, green tree frog. It reminded Anna of something out of a fairy tale. Maybe it was.

The inside of Chesterfield Castle was even more romantic than the outside, if possible. It reflected the warmth, charm and magic of the people who had once called it home. The floors had aged, but character had been embedded into the worn timber. The central bar area had all the modern conveniences that had clearly been combined with the old world charm to make the place homey. Anna imagined living here with the artist and his wife a thousand lifetimes ago. She saw the beauty and majesty that would have consumed the property. Anna felt lost. There was a small niggling in the pit of her stomach, making her wish that she’d been around to see it through their eyes. Despite her reservations, Anna felt an overwhelming sense of delight. There was only one regret that pierced her soul. James. Anna couldn’t help but wish that James could be there to share it with her.

When Anna thought it couldn’t get any better she stumbled into the large country style kitchen. It was all done in oak with white marble bench tops. The windowsill and shelves were cluttered with an assortment of treasures. Old style irons, black and white cow figurines, banged up metal tins, and an old copper frying pan. As soon as she stepped through the door Anna could smell the inviting aroma of freshly baked scones. The smell was so enticing that Anna imagined she could taste the spoonfuls of strawberry jam and freshly whipped cream.

Her room was located on the second level of Chesterfield Castle in the right wing. Anna stood gazing out the window, at the gardens that she had fallen instantly in love with. As she stood admiring the beauty, she felt like a princess high up in her ivory tower, waiting patiently for her knight in shining armour to ride in and sweep her off her feet.

A knock at the door brought Anna back down to earth with a thud. Without waiting for an invitation, Diana walked in and propped herself up onto Anna’s four poster bed. The honey coloured canopy danced on the breeze. A mass of pillows had been scattered around at the head of the bed, the cream coloured quilt had tiny delicate flowers embroidered into it.

“How do you like your room?” Diana asked mischievously. Anna’s face did nothing to mask her pure delight.

“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it. I could stay here forever.” Anna smiled dreamily at Diana.

“It really is something, isn’t it? Michael and I are going to head into town to take James for dinner before he starts competition tomorrow. Did you want to come? Or would you prefer to stay here wrapped in your fairy tale waiting for Prince Charming?” Diana smirked knowingly, but was amazed by the amount of strength it took for Anna to turn away from the window. She really did love it here.

“Give me ten?” she questioned. Diana just nodded her silent agreement. And with one final look out over the grounds, Anna spun on her heel and headed towards the bathroom.

Michael met them in the foyer. He wore his black dinner suit and shiny black shoes. Even he wasn’t as immune to the magic of the castle as he pretends to be, Anna thought, slightly amused.

He couldn’t contain the wide smile as his face lit up when he saw them descend down the spiral staircase. “Here come my ladies,” he joked.

He dropped a quick kiss on Diana’s cheek before extending his arm so she could take it. “You look incredible.” He smiled at Diana. Diana wore a very simple but extremely elegant two-piece plum suit. There was something about Chesterfield Castle that had forced them to dress up and play their role. Maybe it was the romance and magic that filled the air, or perhaps it was simply that the old world charms of the castle had infected them.

***

James

They arrived at the small, dimly lit restaurant a little after eight. James was already seated at a corner table. The waitress looking after that section was making no attempts to hide the fact that she was hitting on James. Her flirting was relentless. James saw his mother and father enter and immediately stood up and signalled them over.

When they reached the table, James showed off his impeccable manners by pulling Diana’s chair out for her. “Mum, you look wonderful.” He grinned proudly, kissing her cheek lightly. But he couldn’t hide his distraction. His eyes were darting about, scouring the restaurant for any sign of Anna.

“Is Anna coming?” he asked nervously. After what had happened or nearly happened last night James wasn’t certain. He had absolutely no idea what she was thinking or feeling at the moment. He only hoped that whatever it was, it would not keep her away.

“Yes. She’ll be here in a moment. She’s acting odd, though,” Michael confessed as James’s eye shot up in alarm. “She asked us to drop her a bit up the road so she could walk the rest of the way. That girl definitely has something on her mind,” Michael confirmed.

“Oh, okay,” James sighed, deflated. He knew what was on her mind. He didn’t have to ask. It was the same thing playing on his mind. On repeat. But what was worse, he knew that Anna’s anguish was his fault. “Should we order drinks while we wait?” Diana and Michael just nodded.

James had no trouble attracting the waitress’s attention. He placed their drink order, a bottle of white wine for his parents and Anna, while he stuck to the orange juice. She returned moments later carrying their drinks. After dropping them off, she pressed a crumpled piece of paper into James’s hand. “Open it!” she whispered seductively into his ear. As she walked away her hips swayed seductively.

Diana flashed her son a harsh look. “Well? What’s that? It can’t be the bill because we haven’t even eaten yet,” Diana snorted.

James untangled it. As soon as he saw it, he was filled with guilt and mild disgust.

Elizabeth Webb. If you need a friend or more, call me.

James handed it to his father, who laughed smugly. The fury in James’s eyes showed clearly exactly how unamused he was.

But his anger didn’t last long. As a young woman appeared in the doorway, all thoughts of the phone number in his hand evaporated instantly. Tall and graceful, her dark hair framed her face and cascaded over her bare shoulders. The black sheath gown she wore was simple yet elegant. Sleeveless, high around the neck, it fell to the floor, grazing her breasts and hips in such a way that it was both modest and sexy. Her make-up was discreet, except for a bright blaze of red on her plump lips. James sat motionless. He was completely mystified and mesmerised by the mysterious woman. It wasn’t until she reached his table and James looked up into her eyes he recognised her. It was Anna. His Anna. Anna as he had never seen her.

Diana and Michael watched with bemused relief. Unable to hide their amusement, they looked on, powerless to do anything but sit back as their son melted at his fiancée’s feet. He was completely tongue tied. All thoughts of the waitress were long forgotten. Michael couldn’t restrain his smirk as he watched the phone number fall to the floor, discarded.

James stood and pulled out her chair. “You’re stunning,” he barely choked, barely managing to string words together. He had always considered Anna beautiful but tonight she stole his breath. He couldn’t tear his eyes off her as he poured her a glass of wine. Raising his glass above his head, he said “A toast. To England.” He laughed lightly.

The waitress appeared a few minutes later to take their order. She was pleasant to Diana and Michael, overly friendly to James, but she was straight out rude to Anna. With their dinner ordered, James led Anna out onto the small, intimate dance floor. By the time he slipped his arms around Anna’s waist, word had spread through the restaurant that James Thompson, the swimmer, dined amongst them. Patrons were craning their necks to get a glimpse, but neither James nor Anna noticed. James just stood in the centre of the dance floor with his arms snugly wrapped around Anna, oblivious to the world.

Something had changed between them. James not only felt it, but he could see it in Anna’s sad eyes. Despite the smile on her face, James knew it was forced. It didn’t reach her eyes. She was keeping him at arm’s length, even as they danced. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice trembling. He was petrified that last night could change everything. But it was more than that. James was scared he would lose Anna but it was more than fear. He was baffled as to why she seemed so angry and hurt. Did she blame him? How could he fix it? Would Anna even let him try? His mind was whirling. This had to be fixed and fixed now, otherwise it would be still eating at him when competition started tomorrow.

“Nothing. Why?” Anna was so distant; it was almost as if she wasn’t really there.

“Look, I’m really sorry about last night…”

“No. No. Please don’t. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have said or done something before it got that far, but I didn’t want to. I don’t know why, but I wanted it just as much as you did. Probably more.”

“Baby, I promise you, that’s not possible,” James confessed, planting a chaste kiss on Anna’s exposed neck, causing Anna to tremble in his arms.

“But I really am sorry. And I wish I could explain it better but I just don’t know how,” Anna admitted. Her face that was usually so bright and bubbly was now apologetic and almost sad.

“Princess, don’t for a minute think that I didn’t want exactly the same thing. And I knew that I couldn’t and shouldn’t, but it didn’t mean I didn’t want it…if that makes any sense at all. We only have a few more weeks to wait. Then you’re all mine.” James chuckled throatily. His honesty and his optimism made Anna’s squirm.

“What if I said I could speed things up? Any thoughts?” Anna waited anxiously for his response.

“I’d say why are we still standing here? But there is no way—”

“Shh,” Anna whispered, putting her finger on his lips. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? I’m magical. I have ways. Tell me, Mr. Thompson, what are you doing in an hour and a half?”

“Whatever you tell me,” he agreed, pulling her closer to him if it was at all possible. He was totally captivated by her. At that moment James knew whatever Anna wanted he would give to her. Wherever Anna went, that’s where he wanted to be. No matter the cost, she would always come first.

Diana and Michael sat, watching them from the table. In fact the whole restaurant was watching their every move.

“I’m really glad he’s marrying that girl,” Michael smiled at his wife, intertwining their fingers. “They’re perfect together. I just can’t imagine him being happy with anyone else.”

“I know what you mean. They really do just fit, don’t they?” Diana replied proudly. Her face was covered by a smile of pure admiration.

***

Diana

James was everything that a mother could hope their son would grow up to be. He was successful, charming, handsome, intelligent, kind, sensitive, and more important than anything else, he was happy.

All they ever hoped for James was his happiness and only Diana and Michael knew how hard that was for James. To the outside world James led a charmed life, and the truth was he really did, but what the world didn’t see was all the sacrifices he had made to have that life. He’d fought the dark periods in his life and always come out on top but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there or that they didn’t leave scars—deep, permanent and ugly scars.

As Diana watched her son she was more thankful for Anna than she could ever express. Since Anna there had been no dark days. It was like she was the light inside James and made his world sparkle. And although Anna knew vaguely of James’s struggles she’d never experienced one first hand, and Diana prayed that she would never have to.

***

Anna

Anna led James back to the table where they sat quietly and enjoyed their meal. James couldn’t help but keep checking his watch, waiting anxiously for the surprise Anna had alluded to. After their meal, Anna told Diana that she and James were going to take a walk, and she would find her own way back to Chesterfield. James shot Anna a bewildered look. Anna just smiled mischievously and offered a slight nod as she reached down and took his hand.

The temperature had dropped noticeably since their arrival and it was snowing lightly. Anna’s dark brown spirals were collecting the soft snowflakes. They landed in her hair, on her nose, and on the ends of her eyelashes. Anna dropped James’s hand and stood with her arms high above her head, spinning around. She looked like an innocent child who’d never before seen snow.

“Where are we going? You realise I have to work tomorrow,” James’s voice was thick with sarcasm.

“What do you mean you have to work? You haven’t done an honest day’s work in your charmed life,” Anna teased. “And of course I know where we’re going. But if you don’t want to come…” Anna mocked.

“I didn’t say that now, did I?” James scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder like she weighed nothing at all. Anna squealed with delight as James slapped her playfully, earning him another squawk.

***

James

Something inside James stirred. The same something that had stirred last night and almost ruined everything. As much as James loved being with Anna right now he knew that they needed some space. He didn’t trust himself to keep his hands off her. If he didn’t put some distance between them, they would inevitably get themselves into something they couldn’t take back.

James’s voice was filled with fear and sadness as he stammered, “L-Look, Anna.” He began sliding her down his body until her feet touched the ground. Anna couldn’t conceal the shock in her eyes as she felt his arousal through her dress. “I really have to get going. I’ve got a big day tomorrow. Will you be all right to get home?” James was staring directly at the ground, he couldn’t even bear to look at her. He couldn’t risk seeing the pain and rejection on her face. He obviously wanted her but now he was pushing her away.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She gulped, unable to hide her disappointment. Without another word James dropped a chaste kiss on her cheek and disappeared into the night, leaving her standing cold and alone.