Текст книги "Be My December"

Автор книги: Rachel Brookes

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 26 страниц)

“I never thought I’d be in this position again,” I admitted still locked on Eden’s eyes. She broke contact and turned back toward Josh and his friend and I turned back to Ashlyn. “It’s killing me Ash. The words are sitting on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t risk saying everything I want to because I know what would happen.”

Ashlyn’s face fell at my words, and she was hit by a storm of her own emotions as she glanced over at Eden. “I fucking hate secrets.”

“Me too Ash, me too,” I replied with all sincerity.

Ashlyn climbed off my lap, kissed my forehead and disappeared back into the kitchen. I kept to myself, talking to those who came to me but wanting to sit on my own while the party continued around me. Later that night, I stood in the bathroom looking at my reflection in the mirror. I had just escaped the craziness of the party for a couple of minutes of peace and now as I stared back at myself I tried to think of a scenario that would allow me to disappear to my apartment.

The door burst open breaking my peace. I shot a furious look into the mirror directed squarely at the intruder who dared to shatter my solitude, but the moment my eyes met Ashlyn’s panicked washed face in the mirror, my fury floated away, only to be replaced with unease. I knew immediately that something wasn’t right, and it unleashed panic within me. She rushed into the room completely oblivious to what she could actually be walking in to and grabbed my arm, tugging me toward the door in desperation. “Chris just turned up completely uninvited, and he’s found Eden.”

Hearing his name fall from Ashlyn’s lips pissed me off. Why the fuck was he here? Actually I knew why he was here, and it had everything to do with Eden and everything to do with fucking with my head. I didn’t get hesitate for a second. I stormed out of the bathroom with Ashlyn in tow and rushed through Josh’s apartment in search of Eden.

Chris had her body pinned up against the bar by his and his hands were cupping her face, forcing her to look at him. Eden’s eyes met mine over his shoulder as I sprinted across the room toward her and safety flashed within them. The moment I reached him my protective instincts took over. I tore at the back of his shirt, ripping his body away from hers. My hand encased his throat as I pushed him violently up against the wall, with such force that one of Josh’s pieces of art rattled against the grey wall and fell to the ground below.

“How many fucking times do I have to warn you? Stay the fuck away from her and keep your hands to yourself. When will you understand that she is mine?” I hissed with stern warning, pushing harder against his throat until his face started flaming red and his attempts at breath were cut off.

The smirk that crossed his face wasn’t missed. His eyes glided between me and Eden with such intrigue and intent to shock and destroy. I witnessed the exact moment realization hit him. If wickedness had a face it was now taunting me and loving every single fucking part of it. “Does she know?” Chris choked out with a spiteful tongue.

My body froze, but the pressure of my hand on his throat didn’t diminish. He and I were both aware that he was holding all the power in the palm of his hands, but I refused to give him the opportunity to speak any further.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Josh warned beside me. “Who the fuck invited you here? You are not welcome here or anywhere near me, Ky, Eden, or Ashlyn, do you fucking hear me? Get the fuck out of here before you regret stepping foot into my house.”

“Ky,” Eden’s soft, pleading voice hit my ears full force. I had completely forgotten anyone else was in the room. I tore my eyes from Chris’s reddening face and found Eden’s apprehensive gaze looking back at me.

I released my grip on his throat, and he gasped for a much needed breath. My arm found Eden’s waist, and I pulled her close to my body, and she came willingly. “Come with me,” I breathed into her ear.

I pulled her away from Chris who was still spitting insults and with my arm still firmly placed around her waist I headed toward the opposite side of Josh’s apartment. I knew I had grabbed every single person’s attention with my outburst but right now I didn’t give a fuck. My attention was completely on the girl who now stood in front of me, her back up against the grey painted walls. Her eyes widened as I stepped into her space and wrapped my arms around her waist resting my hands on her lower back.

“We are acting remember. This is simply chapter two of me being a knight in shining armor.”

“Okay Ky.” She inhaled sharply and her hands gripped the front of my shirt.

I leaned toward her until my forehead rested against hers. My arms tightened so she fell against my chest, my arms cocooning her tightly. Our breath bounced of each other’s lips and even though our lips weren’t touching it was the most intense moment I had shared with someone and I knew all eyes were on us.

“I never imagined our first kiss would be because we had to pretend,” I whispered hoarsely. “There is not going to be anything perfect, spectacular, or spontaneous about this, and I fucking hate that.”

She opened her blue eyes and looked directly at me without an ounce of fear swimming before me. It made me breathe a sigh of relief but it also unleashed a torrent of confusion.

“This is the second time I’ve pulled you away like a caveman stating that you are mine so I need to make it realistic Eden. You have about ten seconds to say no before I kiss you.”

“I…..Yes.”

“Come with me,” I said for the second time in the space of five minutes. My hands fell from her waist and grabbed her hand. She didn’t falter. We fell into silence as I clutched her hand obsessively and headed toward the large sliding door that led to Josh’s balcony. It was freezing cold, but I didn’t want our first kiss to be up against a wall in my brother’s apartment while strangers watched on with gawking eyes. I knew we were now only being watched by three people; Josh, Ashlyn, and Chris. I slid open the door and nodded out onto the tiled floor which housed a BBQ, two lounging chairs, and a glass table.

“It’s freezing,” she hissed, her teeth chattering and her arms going protectively around her waist to try and gain some much needed warmth as I followed her out and shut the glass door behind us.

I pulled her toward me, and she yelped at my suddenness of my movements. The freezing air was awash with evidence of our harsh intake of breath as we both fought our own internal battles. Her body smashed into mine as she lost balance and her arms went around my waist on instinct and locked tight. Fuck. I could feel her heart beating rapidly against my chest, and it unleashed the beast inside me. I was doing that to her and whether it was in fear or excitement I didn’t really care. My hands cupped her face, my thumb traced the length of her bottom lip as her eyes beamed at me, not willing or able to look away.

“When’s the last time you kissed a man?” I whispered, knowing that I was officially crossing every single boundary I had been desperate to put up.

“Two years ago.” Her breath caressed my thumb as she spoke.

I pushed against her body so she stepped backwards until the wall beside the glass door stopped her. The feeling of her curves, her breasts, and her heartbeat against me as we moved was something I couldn’t explain, but I knew my heart, my head, and my dick were thoroughly enjoying it. “I’m excited to taste you Eden Rivers.”

In the moonlight that was shadowing the balcony, her eyes dropped to my lips and that was all the encouragement I needed. My mouth fell to hers and my heart stammered in my chest. If only she truly knew what this meant. I felt the sharp intake of air she took under the sensation of us colliding as one and my breath became hers and her fears became mine.

The moment Eden let herself completely go, she fell into the kiss and her body went limp. My needy hands wrapped tightly around her waist, taking her full weight. The urge to touch her skin overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t resist. My fingertips glided under her shirt and rested on her lower back just above the waistband of her jeans.

My eager tongue traced her plump bottom lip, sweeping back and forth, tasting her strawberry-flavored lip gloss. She softly moaned against my mouth as a growl erupted from mine. Could she really be enjoying this as much as me? The thought only deepened my need. My tongue danced into her mouth, colliding with hers so eagerly. With complete blatant want, she matched everything I offered. She tasted of berries and gin, better than I could ever have imagined, and the warmth swirling within her body flooded through mine.

Her zealous hands bunched the side of my shirt, pulling me closer as she unraveled in the intensity of the moment. This wasn’t the girl who had fled my office when I first attempted to kiss her, and this certainly wasn’t the girl who exuded nervousness just by being in my presence. Eden Rivers was morphing into a vixen before my eyes. Now, as she kissed me, Eden showed me that she knew what she wanted and wasn't holding back. It felt like this was so natural, so unique, and so wanted and it confused the fuck out of me.

“Um, you two, Chris has left.”

Eden gasped against my lips at the sound of Josh’s amused voice. I had been so lost in Eden Rivers that I hadn't even heard the door open. Her body jerked away slightly but her grasp didn’t lessen on my shirt.

“Shit,” I groaned into the air, and I barely heard the door close as Josh left us in a torrent of heavy, ragged breathing. My eyes found hers still swimming with desperate intensity at what we had just unleashed on each other. I smirked as I leaned in, my heated breath hitting the sensitive skin just below her ear. “You certainly don’t kiss like a woman who hasn’t kissed a man in two years.”

Eden’s body drew back to mine like a magnetic force beckoned between us. Her body tensed under my words and her breathing halted. The vixen had left and insecure Eden had returned, yet she was still completely destroying me.

“We seem to be good at pretending,” she whispered into the night air.

“I wasn’t pretending Eden.” My hands cupped her face, and I was desperate to show her the truth in my words. “I could never pretend with you.”

“But you said…”

“Did anything about that kiss indicate I was pretending?”

Her eyes tore away from mine and dropped to the floor. There was no way I was pretending, and I knew for a fact that she wasn’t pretending. The way her body molded against mine, the way the heat from her body hit mine. How could I possibly never want that again? I was an idiot for thinking once would be enough.

The words that swirled in my head, begging to come out, had the potential to destroy everything. It would be the beginning of a test that I hoped we both failed, a test where I wanted her to prove me wrong. I didn’t think I could have handled her answer, but the question had been sitting on the tip of my tongue from the moment Tori made the stark admission and now after the mind-blowing kiss we shared I couldn’t stop myself any longer.

I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and my lips fell back to hers for an intimate kiss, a single brush of my lips against hers.

“You can’t say no.” I dropped the bombshell, and her eyes widened in such a way that she answered my question without a spoken word. “That’s a really fucking dangerous habit to have Eden. I didn’t believe it when Tori told me but now I am seeing it every time I am around you. Did you just agree to kiss me because you didn’t think you had another option?”

“It’s not like I can help it. I didn’t ask to be like this Ky,” she spat in anger, her eyes darting away from me and her grip on my shirt loosening. “And I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Did you want to kiss me?” I pushed on, breaking the distance she had put between us.

“You said we were pretending, that you wanted Chris to get away from me.”

“Did you want to kiss me?” I repeated again.

Her eyes darted away from mine and her face went like stone. I could literally see her walls shooting up. “Yes,” she finally said.

“And suddenly I don’t believe you.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m not like other girls Ky. I don’t go around making out with random guys, I don’t let a guy hold me like you just did. I don’t let myself get into positions like this, and it’s scaring the fuck out of me that I actually did want to kiss you. So yes, I wanted to kiss you, and now that it’s done you are making me regret it.”

Her honesty was refreshing. I was finally seeing Eden Rivers and not just her false persona.

“I just have one question for you Eden.”

What the fuck was I doing! Stop Ky, shut your mouth. Eden looked at me expectantly, her eyes still flashing with signs of anger. I was losing control at a fast fucking rate and spiraling into a world I wouldn’t able to claw myself out of. Was this my penance being delivered on a platter? A platter that I would have to give back after a month? I wanted to test her, to put to rest Tori’s fucked-up statement for good.

I wanted her to say no.

I needed her to say no.

“Give me December, be mine for one month. Believe me when I say you won’t regret a second of it. Your yes and your no will be mine and for the right reasons for once.”

Her eyes slammed shut under my question. “I will make you realize that saying no is your given right and that saying yes can still be a beautiful thing.”

I was expecting her to shout after me. I was expecting her to say no and tell me I was an asshole. But she just remained silent. Finally her eyes opened and she looked at me with the most amazingly clear eyes I’d ever seen. I felt my breath hitch as I took her in.

My hand cupped her cheek and my thumb swept over her soft skin as our gaze danced together. “Think about what I’ve asked Eden.”

I dropped my hand and quickly moved towards the door. I didn’t want her answer then, to be honest I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle her saying either yes or no.

 

The smell of greasy, comfort food welcomed me the moment I stepped foot into the diner that I had visited with Ky, the very same place where his aunt worked and where I just realized my cousin’s best friend worked. What were the odds?  Tommy looked up at me in recognition the moment I stepped through the door and soon enough his arms had engulfed me in a tight hug. I hadn’t seen him since he was fourteen and beginning to notice girls, but now he was tall, handsome, and pimple free. He and my cousin Andy had been so protective of me when they were growing up, even though I was six years older. I never had siblings so they were like my little brothers. They regularly visited me when I was in hospital after the rape, even though I didn’t want anyone seeing me like that. Their stubborn asses didn’t listen to me. They brought my favorite chocolate milk and trashy magazines, kept me company when I couldn’t sleep, and didn’t leave the room when the police updated me on what was happening with the case. While my parents were crumbling at the news that their baby girl had been tainted for life, my honorary little brothers were stepping up and for that reason I would be forever grateful to those two.

“Eden!” Tommy’s low voice questioned incredulously.

“Hey Tommy,” I sighed in happiness.

“I cannot believe you are back! Andy didn’t even tell me, the asshole,”

“I don’t think he even knows, he is too busy travelling around Europe to worry about his favorite cousin being back in town.”

I pulled out one of the stools at the counter and spent fifteen minutes catching up with Tommy. He spoke excitedly about college, his single life, his continued love for surfing, and then—for good measure—he dropped the sly ‘I’m still waiting for you to accept my marriage proposal.’ My shoulders shook with laughter. The conversation suddenly took a serious turn and all laughter ceased as he leaned over the counter and began firing questions about what I was doing back here and what I’ve been up to. But I knew he was skating around asking me how I was.

“I’m okay Tommy,” I admitted quietly, answering his unasked question. He nodded and grabbed hold of my hand giving it a friendly squeeze. Worried, unsure eyes darted over my face in an attempt to believe what I was saying and all I could do was give him an encouraging smile—it was all I could muster. When he was satisfied with my response, Tommy turned away and served a waiting customer.

It was beyond amazing to see a familiar face in a city I despised. I tapped on the counter and hummed along to the music flooding the air from the surround sound speakers and my mind automatically crossed to the night before.

I had barely slept a wink.

My lips were still alight from the sensation of Ky’s lips on mine. I couldn’t stop touching them and even now my fingertips ran over my swollen pout. He had kissed me, devoured me, and completely owned me in those few moments.

Did I regret it? No.

Did that fact frighten me? Yes.

Not only was I dealing with the thought of kissing a guy who was also signing off on my paychecks for the next six weeks, I was now dealing with Ky’s question and his unrealistic suggestion. His words—give me December, be mine for one month—had continued to swirl around my head and left me in a complete puddle of emotions and I hadn’t heard from him since.

“You are currently being eye-fucked,” Tommy announced.

I choked on the Coke that he had just placed in front of me and looked at him with wide eyes. Good to see his subtleness had developed over the years. He watched me with amusement plastered all over his face and his eyes left mine and glanced over my shoulder. I didn’t even want to know. I shook my head and concentrated on the glass in front of me but now the feeling of being watched swamped me. Damn you Tommy. How I could be getting eye-fucked, as Tommy called it, made me question this person’s desperation. I had left the hotel in my oldest jeans, the hoodie I usually wore to bed, and my hair was covered in one of my favorite beanies, as well as my face being free of any makeup.

“He is coming over,” Tommy warned, and I stiffened in my seat. Tommy saw the anxiety greet my face, and he remained standing in front of me behind the counter.

The intoxicating scent of sandalwood and musk hit me like a warm summer breeze. I gripped hold of my glass and raised it to my lips and took a long comforting drink.

“Tommy, I’m ready to order.” Ky’s voice hit my ears like silk touching skin. Smooth, enticing and dangerously flirtatious. “I’ll also pay for what Eden wants.” His words grabbed my attention, and I swung back around to look at him. He looked back at me expectedly with inquisitive eyes and stubble gracing his strong jaw.

“I’m happy to pay for mine,” I stuttered in response.

I saw his mind tick over and then the smallest of frowns swept over his face.

“Put it on my bill,” he directed at Tommy with a growl tinging his voice and then he turned to me. “Come sit with me when you are done.”

He didn’t give me a chance to respond; he turned and crossed with diner without another word. It would seem that Mr. Alpha was visiting for the day.

“How the hell do you know Ky Crawford A.K.A Mr. Eye-Fuck Eden?”

I chose to ignore his ridiculous statement. “I am doing a photo shoot for the magazine he works at.”

“He is seriously into you.”

Tommy’s admission shocked me. I shook my head at the absurd statement and dropped my eyes to the counter. I couldn’t even fathom that. I was in a whirlwind of uncertainty when it came to Ky Crawford, and Tommy’s comment was unbelievable. I was here to do a job, to take photos and then I would be back on a plane headed to my comfortable, stable life in San Francisco, and I wouldn’t have to think of this place again. I wasn’t the type of girl who gave out signals that I wanted a guy to ‘want’ me. I couldn’t, I would never.

Fear, intrigue and confusion all swam wildly within me as I tried to desperately get a grip. These were the moments when I got furious with what happened. Not only did Jeremy Davis take away my innocence, my pride, and my right as a woman, but he also damaged me for the rest of my life. He took away my opportunity for a normal relationship—the experience of feeling butterflies in my stomach when a guy like Ky Crawford would look at me, that feeling of completeness of a first kiss and the overwhelming excitement of sex. He took my right to be a normal twenty-four-year-old woman and I hated him for that. I despised him for that.

“Eden!”

I snapped out of my trance and looked at Tommy, whose brow furrowed with worry. I found the biggest smile I could muster and shook all thoughts out of my head.

“Are you okay?” He clearly didn’t buy my attempt at covering up my thoughts.

“I am all good Tommy.” I shot a look back at where Ky sat and grabbed my glass from the counter. “I’ll see you soon.”

I pushed away from the counter and silently gave myself a pep talk, but my eyes never left Ky as I crossed the diner. How could I possibly sit across from him while his absurd proposition continued to plague my thoughts and his kiss still sent shockwaves through my body? He was burning down my walls of resolve terrifyingly quick, and I was stumbling into unknown territory that for some strange reason made me feel alive again.

I slid in the booth opposite him and the familiar feeling of being under Ky’s watchful gaze immediately hit me. My hands fumbled as I quickly attacked the brass buckles of my bright pink laptop satchel and grabbed my Mac. The thought of using my laptop screen as a shield was a welcome relief, and I was planning on spending the morning working on my ideas for the shoot and searching for locations.

“Thanks for joining me.” His deep voice spoke with a certainty, a promise, and an intention that felt surprisingly welcomed but made me so damn nervous. I retracted from my internal battle of refusing to grace my eyes with the pleasure of looking at his face and lifted my gaze to meet his.

Big mistake.

“Mr. Crawford.” I acknowledged with a stern nod.

A delicious smirk took over his lips, and I swear I saw a twinkle in his eyes. “So we are using formalities now? Well in that case, thank you Miss Rivers.”

My name fell from his mouth with such ease and the smile tugging on his lips encouraged a matching smile to flash over mine. The idea of flirting with this man was dangerous; it was temperamental and had the ingredients to be beautifully devastating. But the more I was around him, the more I realized I was beginning to feel and imagine things I never knew I wanted.

I dropped my eyes from his and opened Photoshop, wanting the distraction to cease the awkwardness filling the table; awkwardness laced with a confusing need which made me consider things I shouldn’t. It didn’t work. I blankly stared at the screen not being able to concentrate on anything but the man sitting across from me.

“So are we going to pussyfoot around my question?”

“I’m not pussyfooting around anything, Ky.” I slammed my laptop shut and glared at him. He could not be serious. “Tori had no right to mention anything about me before she left town, I don’t care how drunk she was. I barely know you. You are simply the guy who is paying me to photograph the cover.”

“Yep I’m simply that guy.” His voice dropped devastatingly low, and he tore his eyes from mine.

“That’s not what I meant. I am grateful for what you are doing, but come on, you can’t be serious? A month is a long time. Your idea is twisted.”

“What’s twisted about it?” He laughed. “I’ve already kissed you, and you were very involved in that kiss so you cannot say it doesn’t intrigue you. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. It will simply be two people spending time together. You’re only just back in town, I don’t get out much, and we obviously have some things in common. If I am being completely honest, which I always seem to be around you, you are insanely sexy so as a fully functioning man I’d be crazy not to want to have you in my life even if it is just for a month, four measly weeks, thirty-one days even.”

He could not be serious.

“So what? Are you one of those guys who would use the month to live out some sick fantasy? Is this a crazy way of attempting to get in my pants?” I swallowed hard as my heartbeat increased to the point of pain. I couldn’t do this. There was no way.

“Why do you do that?” His eyes narrowed in, the frustration in his voice not missed.

“Do what?”

“Pretend to be this person that you clearly aren’t. You can be yourself around me. That’s what I want. I want the Eden who I know is in there. Not the Eden that you hide behind. I want the Eden who I met last night on the balcony, the same girl who kissed me within a breath of her life, the Eden who grabbed hold of me like she never wanted me to leave, the Eden who I know hasn’t stopped thinking about that kiss.”

“You know absolutely nothing about me so don’t sit there and pretend like you do.”

“Fine, I’ll be the mature one that’s honest shall I? There is nothing sick and twisted about this.” His voice dripped with sexuality and tinged with promise. “And I won’t be attempting to fuck you so I definitely won’t be going anywhere near your pants. That’s a promise.”

“You just called me, and I quote, insanely sexy, yet you don’t want to touch me. You are all kinds of messed up.” I rolled my eyes before staring at him. I had no clue what kind of game he was playing at, but it was a game that I was slowly yet surely being dragged in to.

“I said I won’t be fucking you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t constantly be thinking about fucking you.”

Hearing those words allowed the breath I was holding to leave my body. One month. Who was I trying to fool? I knew the decision had already been made the moment he asked the question. He had given me no choice.  I couldn’t deny that Ky Crawford’s ability to captivate me ignited that very first time I met him and that was what was dangerous. He was dangerous to everything I had desperately tried to become in the last four years, but more terrifyingly, he was dangerous to everything I didn’t want to remember.

“What would this month entail?” Regret filled me the moment the words tumbled from my mouth, but my attentiveness to hear his response made me lean in closer.

Ky’s lips curved dangerously, a knowing smirk took over his too handsome face. I witnessed the exact moment he realized he had me.  What the hell was I doing? His body pressed back against the seat, and he sat in complete silence observing me like I was some kind of sick prize.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I spat, averting my eyes from his. I couldn’t stay here. Why the fuck couldn’t I just learn to say no? Really, was it that hard? It was a simple word, but here I was at twenty-four years of age, and I couldn’t say it.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a prize. That’s not me, Ky, and I am not going to be a toy you can play with when you desire. That will never be me.” I shoved my laptop into my satchel then slid my body along the leather booth desperate for a reprieve. I needed to leave.

“Eden, wait.” Ky shot up from his seat so fast that I never had a chance to escape. His hand grabbed hold, his fingers wrapping firmly around my forearm just below my elbow and instantly diverted my escape plan. My eyes fell to his hand as my breath caught in my throat. Our gaze collided and everything around me disappeared into a vortex of silence and calm. A mixture of fear and anxiety swept over his face as he watched me so intently. It confused me. What could he possibly have to fear when it came to me? “You are definitely not a toy Eden. You would be the greatest prize. Always the greatest prize. I know you can’t say no, and I am a bastard for using that against you, but I promise you it’s for your own good. It’s time you started saying yes for the right reasons, and if I need to demand this time I will. So Eden, I’ll ask you this question one last time, will you be my December?”

“I am going back to San Fran in January.” The words fell from my lips without a single thought.

“I don’t care. I am not looking for a relationship with you Eden; I am looking for nothing but your time for the next four weeks. I will ask you things that will make you uncomfortable; I will do things that may make you anxious; I plan on taking you out of this comfort zone that you believe is reality.”

With his pleading eyes staring at me, I took everything of what I knew of Ky Crawford in. I couldn’t understand his reasoning behind this, but I couldn’t deny the rumblings within my dormant body. Why would this guy want to spend time with someone he barely knew? What was so enticing about me? How could a man with a face like his and a body that oozed sex appeal want someone like me?

But I didn’t really have a choice, did I?

“Yes,” I whispered.