Текст книги "Magic's Pawn"

Автор книги: Mercedes Lackey

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Six

Don’t go yet,” Tylendel said abruptly, as Vanyel picked himself up off the floor.

Vanyel gave him a look of uncertainty. He was still too new to this – being open. He was still waiting for blows that never came.

But Tylendel seemed to know that.

“It’s all right, Van,” he said softly. “It’s really all right. I have a good reason.”

“I’ve got a lesson,” he protested. “History, and I’m still behind the other three.”

Tylendel made a wry face. “You’re a law unto yourself, remember? At least that’s what you’re supposed to be acting like. You skipped your lessons this morning, skip the rest of them today; tell ‘em you were sick. Tell ‘em the storm last night gave you a headache.”

“But – “

“It’s important,” Tylendel coaxed. “Really, it is. More important than that history lesson. If you’re behind, I’ll coach you. Please?”

It didn’t take much encouragement from Tylendel to get him to do what he already wantedto do; lessons were hardly as attractive as more of Tylendel’s company. Herehe wasn’t going to be hurt. Here – someone cared for him. It was as heady as a little too much wine, only without the hangover.

Vanyel closed the door to his room, then turned an expectant face toward his lover, poised with one hand still on the latch.

Tylendel stretched lazily, reaching for the ceiling with his head tilted back. Then he dropped his arms, rose from his seat on the bed, and walked over to put his hand behind Vanyel’s shoulder.

“There’s somebody I want you to meet,” he said, gently pushing Vanyel in the direction of the room’s outside door.

“But – “ Vanyel protested weakly, “I thought – “

“You’re awfully fond of that word ‘but,’ love,” Tylen-del chuckled. “What does it take to get you to say something else?”

He opened the door, still without enlightening Vanyel as to the reason why he was going to introduce Vanyel to someone after Savil had just got done telling them both that they were to keep the relationship a secret -

– and Tylendel had agreed with her.

Vanyel started to protest again, realized that the only thing he could think of to say was “but,” and subsided, as Tylendel guided him out the door to the gardens beyond.

“You see that bridge?” Tylendel pointed northward to the first of the two bridges crossing the Terilee River on the Palace grounds. “And that stand of pines on the other side?”

Vanyel nodded; it was quite a healthy grove, in fact, and the trees extended a good distance back into the Field. They were tall, very thick, and a deep green that was almost black, with huge branches that drooped beneath their own weight until they touched the ground.

“You count to fifty after you see me go in there, then you follow,” Tylendel ordered. “In case anybody happens to come by, though, or looks out a window, you’d better try your hand at acting the arrogant little prig.”

Vanyel nodded again; completely mystified, but willing to go along with about anything that Tylendel wanted. He posed himself carefully, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, attempting to look as if he were simply idling about in the gardens, while Tylendel sauntered off.

This is going to be harder than it was before,he thought somberly, trying to look anywhere except after Tylendel. Ididn’t have anything to lose, before. Now I have everything to lose if I slip.He closed his eyes, and turned his face up to the sun, as if he were savoring the warmth. But if I don’t slip – oh, gods, whichever one of you is responsible for this– it’s worth anything. I swear, it’s worth anything you ask of me!

He chanced a sideways glance across the river; Tylendel was only just reaching the pine grove. He looked away, strolled over to a stand of daylilies, admired them for a moment, then glanced across the river again. Tylendel’s blond hair gleamed against the dark boughs like a tangled skein of spun sunlight, then vanished as the branches closed behind him.

Vanyel transferred his admiration to a bed of rose vines, languidly bending to inhale their perfume, all the while counting to the requisite fifty. He had no sooner reached the required number, though, when a giggling flock of his admirers rounded a hedge, saw him, and altered their course to intersect with his.

Oh, no!he thought, dismayed, and looked surreptitiously about for an escape route, but saw no way to avoid them. Sighing, he resigned himself to the inevitable, and waited for their arrival.

“Vanyel,what are you doing out here?” asked slim, barely-adolescent Jillian, batting her sandy lashes at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be at lessons?”

Vanyel covered a wince. Itwould have to be Jillian. No common sense, and the moral fiber of a hound in heat. And after me with all the dedication you’d see in a hawk stooping on a pigeon. Lord. I hope her father marriesher off quick, or she ‘II be sleeping her way around the Court before long.

But he smiled at her, a smile with a calculated amount of pain in it. “A rotten headache, pretty one. It took me last night when the storm came in, and I cannotbe rid of it. I tried sleeping in, but – “ he shrugged. “My aunt suggestedI take a long walk.’’

The entire covey giggled in near-unison. “Suggested with a stick, I’ll bet,” dark Kertire said sardonically, squinting into the sunlight. “Sour Savil. Well, we’ll walk with youthen, and keep you from being bored,”

Vanyel bit his lip in vexation and thought quickly. “She suggestedmy course, as well,” he told them, grimacing.

“To the end of Companion’s Field and back. And I have no doubt she’s watching from her window.”

He pouted at them. “Much as I would adore your company, my pretties, I rather doubt those slippers you’re wearing are equal to a hike across a field full of – er – “

“Horseturds,” said Jesalis inelegantly, wrinkling her nose and tossing her blonde curls over her shoulder. “Bother. No, you’re right,” she continued, sticking her foot out a little, and surveying the embroidered rose-satin slipper on it with regret. “I justfinished the embroidery on these and got them back from the cobbler; I don’t want them spoiled, and they would be before we’d gotten half across.” The others murmured similar sentiments as their faces fell. “We’re nevergoing to forgive you for deserting us, Vanyel.”

“Now that’sunfair,” he exclaimed, assuming a crushed expression. “Blaming me for the orders of my crotchety old aunt!” He rolled his eyes mournfully at them.

Jesalis giggled. “We’ll only forgive you if you promise to make it up to us tonight after dinner.’’

“Tonight?” he asked, pained by the idea of spending the evening with them instead of with Tylendel as they’d planned this morning.

They mistook his expression for headache. “Well, not if you still aren’t feeling well,” Jesalis amended.

“After a tramp across a perilous obstacle course like that,’’he gestured flamboyantly at the Field across the river, ‘ ‘I much doubt I ‘m going to be feeling better.’’

“Well – “

“A bargain; if you’ll forgive me, I’ll come and play for you while you’re doing finework tomorrow morning,” he said, quite desperately, willing to promise them almost anything to avoid losing his evening, and recalling that they’d all been pestering him to play for them. Before it hadn’t been possible; it would have hurt too much. Now, though – well, becoming – or not becoming – a Bard didn’t seem all that important anymore. And consequently the thought of music didn’t hurt anymore. Or not as much. Certainly it was a small price to pay for having his evening free.

“You will?” squealed Wendi, whose older sister was fostered with Vanyel’s mother. “Really? Ratha told me you were as good as a Bard!”

“Well,” he shrugged, then smirked, “I won’t say I’m a bad hand at the lute. And I know a ballad and a dance or two.”

“Done,” said Jesalis. “A bargain.”

“Bless you, my dear,” he replied, with honest thankfulness. “I wouldn’t be able to live without your forgiveness. Now, if you’ll all excuse me – the sooner I get this nonsense over, the sooner I’ll be able to go back to my bed.”

They giggled and turned back, retracing their footsteps. While he watched them, they disappeared behind the hedge again, heading in the direction of the maze.

When they were safely out of sight, he trudged – to all appearances, mostunwillingly – across the bridge and up a little rise, heading a little indirectly for the pine grove.

He went past it, walking through soft grasses that ranged from knee-high to closely cropped. And despite what he had told the girls, there were no “traps” lurking beneath the grass for the unwary. That didsurprise him, a bit; he was no stranger to long walks across pastureland and the hazards thereof.

What on earth do the Companions do – drop it all in one corner? I suppose– the stories say they’re as intelligent as a human. I suppose it’s possible. Likely, really. They stilleat grass, like horses, and who’d want to eat in the privy?

After first making certain that there was no one about to see him, Vanyel doubled back to the pine grove, and pushed aside the heavy, scratchy boughs. He almost had to force his way past them; the needles caught in his hair and clothing and the branches closed over his head almost immediately, shutting off most of the sunlight. A few feet inside the grove there was no direct light; he walked through a pine-scented twilight gloom, with boughs lacing together just barely above his head, and a thick carpet of dry needles at his feet. The needles crunched a little, releasing more piny scent, but otherwise his own footsteps were almost noiseless. Some

where in the distance he could hear birds calling, but their songs seemed to be furlongs away. This place looked enormous now that he was inside it, much larger than it had appeared from outside; magical, almost mystical, and far removed from the bright green-and-gold Field just a few feet away.

This wasn’t theGrove; that was a good deal farther into the Field – but this stand of ancient pines was giving Vanyel a pleasant, shivery sort of feeling, making him feel somehow more aware and alive.

“ ‘Lendel?” he called softly into the blue-green quiet under the pine boughs, his voice muffled by the rows of straight, columnar trunks of shaggy ebony all about him. He turned, slowly, trying to see past the shadows; peering beneath the feathery branches.

“Right here,” came the reply from slightly behind him, and a white shape ghosted up on his right, resolving itself into -

A Companion. The first that Vanyel had ever seen at close range. And Tylendel beside her, one hand on her snowy, arched neck.

“This is who I wanted you to meet. Van – this is Gala. She already knows about you, Van, she knew last night. We’re mind-linked; I told her everything, and she wanted to see you right away.”

Vanyel felt strange and awkward. Those sapphire eyes held an intelligence that was rather frightening, but the formwas a horse. How in the Havensdid you introduce yourself to a horse?

The silence grew; he stared into Gala’s eyes, swallowed, and finally made the attempt.

“Hullo,” he said, shyly, looking straight into those eyes and hoping to speak directly to the intelligence there; trying to ignore the fact that he was feeling more than a bit intimidated and foolish. “I – I hope you don’t mind – “

Gala snorted, and Tylendel chuckled.”She says to tell you that she’s been hoping I’d ‘find a nice mate and give her a chance for a little peace’ for a long time. She says it’s altogether disconcerting to be sidling up to a handsome stallion and find mein her head asking for bedtime stories!”

That was the lastresponse he’d expected. Vanyel choked down a laugh. “ ‘Lendel, you didn’t!”

He nodded, as Gala tossed her own head. “I most certainly did, but onlyonce. It was after Nevis, and I was,” he faltered, and looked to the side, “rather lonely.”

Vanyel touched the hand still resting on Gala’s neck. “Not anymore, I hope.”

Tylendel glanced from the hand resting lightly on his own to Vanyel’s face, and half-smiled into his eyes. “No,” he replied quietly. “Not anymore.”

The quiet, the peace of the shadowed grove let them ignore everything except each other. Caught in the spell of that place and that pose, neither paid any attention to the passing of time -

Until Vanyel stumbled forward, propelled by a hard shove in the small of his back. Tylendel grabbed him to keep him from falling, both of them too startled to do more than emit rather undignified squeaks of surprise.

Gala danced backward a few steps, making sounds Vanyel would have been willing to stake his life were laughter.It was pretty obvious that she’d shoved him into Tylendel’s arms with her nose.

Tylendel burst into gales of laughter; he clutched his stomach, nearly incoherent, and gasping for breath. Gala snorted and bobbed her head, and he doubled over again.

They’re talking,Vanyel finally realized, as Tylendel wheezed. Or – well, I guess she’s teasing him. Gods above and below, all the stories aretrue! Iwish I could hear them.

His stomach fluttered uncertainly, and he tasted the sour bite of what could only be jealousy. Tylendel and Gala were sharing something he never could – something they’d had for years before he had come along. In this, he was, he would always be, the outsider. That realization condensed into a hard, cold lump in his throat, and besides the bitter taste of jealousy, he shivered in a sudden chill of loneliness. And just a touch of doubt.

He could really have about anyone he wanted, couldn’t he? So why should he bother with me? How can I know if he means what he told me?

But before he could throw himself into a mire of depression he found he had his hands full; keeping the trainee from falling over, while Tylendel struggled to breathe around his laughter, and gasped like a stranded fish.

“You wouldn’t!” Tylendel choked, as tears ran down his cheeks, and he pulled away from Vanyel to advance on his Companion in mock threat – the effect somewhat spoiled by the fact that he had to catch hold of a tree trunk as something she “said” made him bend over again with laughter. “Don’t you dare! Gala, I’ll do nosuch thing! You rudelittle bitch!”

Gaia danced in place, her hooves making no sound at all in the thick carpet of needles. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, and Vanyel had, for one moment, a disconcerting double-vision image of the prancing Companion and an equally mischievous young woman of about Tylendel ‘s age, laughing soundlessly at her Chosen.

This was worse than before. Vanyel felt completelyalone – and left altogether on the outside.

Tylendel, not noticing his distress in the least, managed to get himself back under control, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he straightened up.

He assumed a stern expression. “Now see here, you wicked young lady,” he began, when she turned the tables on him by whickering and reaching out to nuzzle his cheek.

Vanyel saw his eyes soften as he folded immediately. “Oh, all right, I forgive you,” he sighed in defeat, putting his arms around her neck and resting his cheek against hers. “But you had damn well betternot – “

What it was Gala had “better not” do, Tylendel did not verbalize; nor was Vanyel entirely certain he wanted to know. He had the sneaking suspicion that it would be no little embarrassing.

Finally Gala shook herself free and shoved her Chosen in Vanyel’s direction – a good bit more gently than she’d shoved the latter. And as if in apology, she paced forward and gave Vanyel a brief caress with her nose, rather like a soft kiss, before trotting off into the blue twilight under the pine boughs and out of sight among the trunks.

Silence followed her going.

“Well,” Tylendel said, at last. “That was Gala.”

Vanyel replied with the first thing that came into his head. “You really love her, don’t you?”

“More than anything or anybody except you and Staven,” Tylendel replied, almost apologetically. “I’m not sure I can explain it – “ He bit off what he was saying, as if something in Vanyel’s expression told him how depressed this meeting had made him.

“Van,” he reached out hesitantly toward Vanyel’s shoulder, then pulled his hand back, as if unsure whether to touch him. “I didn’t bring you here to hurt you.”

His very real distress forced Vanyel to pull himself together and try to analyzehis feelings, instead of just wallow in them.

They were, to say the least, mixed. “I think I’m jealous,” he said, after an uncomfortable pause. “I know it’s stupid, she can’t ever have you the way I do – but I can’t ever share your thoughts the way she does.”

“Huh. You wouldn’t wantto – “ Tylendel began.

“But that’s not the point,” Vanyel interrupted, backing a few steps away. “I can’t knowthat. You can tell me, but I can’t ever knowthat, can I?” He wasn’t sure what to do or what else to say, and so fell silent, turning away slightly and looking out past Tylendel into the shadows that had swallowed the Companion.

“Van,” he felt Tylendel’s hand fall lightly on his shoulder, and turned to look into his eyes. “Do you want to talk about this? Do you want to hear about what it’s like for us, how it started? Do you think that will help you understand?”

Not trusting his voice, Vanyel nodded.

“This will take a while; pick a spot to sit. Unless you’d rather go back to the room?” Tylendel raised one eyebrow inquiringly.

“No, I like it here; it somehow seems more private.” Vanyel faltered, and covered his hesitation by looking around for a good place. He finally chose a spot at the base of one of the bigger trees beside them, between two roots that were each as thick as his leg. He put his back against the trunk and slid down it to be cradled where the roots joined the tree.

Tyiendel pondered his choice for a moment. “Well, I can only see two ways I can talk and look at you at the same time, and since I don’t fancy shouting across the clearing – “

Before Vanyel had time to react, he’d stretched himself out along the ground and put his head in Vanyel’s lap. “ – muchbetter,” he sighed.

Vanyel froze.

“Van,” Tyiendel said quietly, closing his eyes, “ I won’t hurt you.Not for any reason. I like being near you, with you. I need to touch people; and I won’t everhurt you.”

Vanyel relaxed a little.

“I like this grove, too, though hardly anyone else seems to. It feels like there’s no time in here.” He kept his eyes closed, and Vanyel saw a little pain-crease between his eyebrows.

He gets those headaches; he told me last night– Iwonder – if he’d mind– if it would help-

Vanyel hesitated for a moment, then began massaging Tylendel’s temples with gentle fingertips.

The trainee chuckled and Vanyel felt his shoulders relax. “You have about a hundred years to stop doing that,” he said. “I think I have the headache you claimed.”

“You were going to tell me about you and Gala and being Chosen,” Vanyel prompted, though the thought made him a little uncomfortable still. “I mean, you practically got my whole life story last night, and I still don’t know that much about you.”

“To begin at the beginning – I have a twin, Staven. He’s the elder by about an hour. Nothing like me, by the way; he’s taller, thinner, darker, and muchhandsomer. He’s the leader, I’m the follower. We’ve had a primitive sort of mind-link ever since we were born. Things happened between us all the time. Things like – oh, I blacked out when he fell down the well; he acted like he’d broken his leg when I broke mine.We always knew what the other one was up to.” He took a deep breath. “People knew all about that,but I had other Gifts, too, that I could use. Besides that mind-link, from the time I was about nine I had a touch of Thought-sensing for people besides Slav, and I had an ability to – make accidents happen to people I didn’t like.”

“Did that cause you problems?” Vanyel asked. “With other people, I mean. I should think they wouldn’t much appreciate that last.”

Tylendel shook his head slightly. “It didn’t crop up often enough for people to really notice – or if they did, they were too afraid of my father to say anything about it. I didn’t do it often, the accident-causing, I mean; it made me sick, after. Staven sometimes tried to egg me on, but it wasn’t something I’d give in to him about.” Tylendel paused, and bit his lip; his expression flickered briefly into one both dark and brooding before it lightened again. “It was the link between me and Staven that was the strongest and most predictable of the Gifts; it was pretty much limited to physical sensations, but once we figured out how to use it – “

Vanyel chuckled. “I bet you were unholy terrors.”

Tylendel echoed the chuckle, and winked at him. “I wouldn’t mind having a link like that with you.”

Vanyel blushed, but answered with exactly what he was thinking. “I wouldn’t mind either.”

Tylendel’s expression sobered. “Now comes the part where things got odd. Staven matured pretty early; by twelve he was as tall as most at fifteen, and all the girls were starting to flirt with him. And not just the girls, but grown women as well. I think he got all his share of female-attraction andmine, if you want to know the truth. That summer we were hosting a tournament and everything from goosegirls to visiting highborn were after him and he was acting like a young and randy rooster in a henyard. It all climaxed – if you’ll forgive the expression – when one of the ladies who’d come to visit Mother dropped him a note that said in no uncertain terms that she’d be quite pleased to find him in her bed that night – well – “

He closed his eyes for a moment, then looked up into Vanyel’s face, his own expression ironic. “Understand, I was just as curious as any twelve year old about what Doing It was like. Isaid I’d cover for him if helet me – uh – eavesdrop.’’

“Something tells me it didn’t go according to plan,” Vanyel guessed.

“Dead in the black,” Tylendel said soberly. “I was ‘with’ him for about as long as it took for things to get interesting. I had been feeling odd from the start, but I tried to ignore it, and concentrated on the link. Then things got – I don’t know how to describe it, except that I started losing my grip on meand started merging with him.And the more I concentrated, the stranger it all got. It was a bit like those times I’d made accidents happen; the room faded in and out, I was in a kind of sickish fever, my heart was racing – and I couldn’t tell what was ‘me’ and what was Slav. Under any other circumstances I think I would have quit and shut everything down, but I was stubborn and I was a little afraid of Stav making fun of me for diving out, after this was over. I kept holding to that link, figuring that if I could just weather it out, things would get fun again. Then – “ He shook his head a bit, and his mouth twitched. “Just as things were about to come to the cusp for Staven, something – broke loose in me. I just barely remember the start of it; like I’d suddenly been dropped into a fire. I was in unbelievable pain. It felt like being in the middle of a lightning storm, and from the wreck I made of our room, that’s exactly what I may have created. Something about what was going on, something about the link I had with Staven, triggered allmy potential Gifts – explosively. I was unconscious for about a day, and when I woke up – “

He shuddered. “ – nothing would ever be the same.”

He closed his eyes, and Vanyel stroked his forehead. His mouth was tight, with lines of unhappiness at the corners. Far off in the distance, Vanyel could hear meadows wifts crying like the lost souls of ghost-children.

“So there I was;” Tylendel continued, his voice thin and strained. “I had the Mage-Gift, Thought-sensing, Fetching, a bit of Empathy – none of it predictable, none of it controlled, and all of it likely to burst out at any moment.” He took a look at Vanyel’s face and read the puzzlement there. “Gods, I keep forgetting you aren’t a trainee. Fetching – that means I can move things without touching them; Empathy means I can feel what someone else is feeling, which is why I knew when you had that nightmare last night. Thought-sensing – if someone isn’t shielding, I can tell what they’re thinking. The Mage-Gift is harder to explain, but it’s what makes it possible for a Herald-Mage to do magic.”

“You can tell what I’m thinking?” Vanyel said dubiously. He would have liked being able to share Tylendel’s thoughts the way Gala did, but wasn’t entirely sure he wanted the relationship to hold that kind of one-sided intimacy.

“I can, but I won’t, “Tylendel said, with such firmness that Vanyel couldn’t find it in his heart to doubt him. “Even if it wasn’t so unfair to you, it’s counter to all the ethics that go with being a Herald. Basically I just use it to talk with Gala and Savil.”

Vanyel nodded, comforted. “So you had all these – Gifts – sort of thrown at you, and no way to control them.”

“Exactly,” Tylendel said soberly. “And all this at twelve. It was two yearsbefore Gala came for me. If it hadn’t been for Staven, I’d have gone mad.”

“Why?” Vanyel whispered. “What was happening?”

“What wasn’t?I’d drop into a fit – when I’d wake up again, I’d be in the middle of a fifty-foot circle of wreckage. That was the Mage-Gift and Fetching working together in a way Savil and I haven’t been able to duplicate under control. Seems I have to go berserk.”

He frowned, and reached up to rub his forehead between his eyebrows. “Staven was the only one who could get near me – who was willingto stay near me, in or out of a fit. They said I’d been taken by a demon. They said that because of what Staven and I had tried to share, I had been possessed. When I – started to show signs of being shay’a’chern,they said I was cursed, too.”

“That’s – that’s stupid!” Vanyel cried indignantly.

“They still said it; if they’d dared, they’d have outcaste me. But they didn’t; Staven swore if they did he’d go with me, and hewas the heir, the only possible heir with me acting the way I was. Mother wasn’t capable of having any more children, Father wouldn’t remarry, and he’d been completely faithful to her, so there weren’t any bastards around. They didn’t have a choice. They had to allow me to stay, but they didn’t have to make it comfortable for me.”

Vanyel thought with wonder that Tylendel’s situation was actually worse than his own.

“They kept me pretty well isolated; even when I was fine they avoided me. But when everyone else abandoned me in one of my fits, hestayed, hetook care of me, absolute and unshakable in the belief that I would never hurt him. Positive that, despite what was whispered, what had happened was notthat I’d been possessed, but was something that would somehow be worked out.”

Tylendel shuddered again, his eyes haunted, and plainly seeing another time and place. Vanyel, feeling hispain, put both his hands on his shoulders, trying to just be a comforting presence without disturbing him; Tylendel looked up at him, patted his hand, and half-smiled.

“You see? I think maybe that’s why we understand each other. Well, finally Gaia came – gods. I cannot ever tell you what it was like, looking into her eyes for the first time. It was – like souls touching. And the relief-knowing that I wasn’tmad, that I wasn’tdemon-possessed – I went from hell to the Havens in the space of a heartbeat.’’

He sighed and seemed to sink into his own thoughts for a long while.

“What did she do?” Vanyel asked.

“For one thing, she put me under her shielding; got me controlled until we arrived here and Savil took me under her wing. That’s more than enough reason to love her, even without the bond to her. She’s my very best friend and the sister of my soul.”

He reached up, and touched Vanyel’s cheek. His hand was cool; almost cold.

“But she’ll never be what you are. Can you understand what I’m saying, love? I owe her my sanity, but in a lot of ways she’s morethan I am; I love her the way I love Savil or my mother – inferior to superior. Notbrother to sister, or lover to lover; not everas equals.”

Vanyel put his own hand over the one touching his cheek, and held it, warming it in his own. “What am I, then?”

“You’re my partner, my equal, my friend – and my love. Vanyel, I didn’t say this in so many words last night – but I dolove you.”

Those words were notexpected; certainly the implied level of commitment was not what Vanyel had expected. “But – “ he stuttered, not sure whether what he was feeling was joy or fear.

“Van, I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do loveyou,” Tylendel said, ignoring the ‘but,’ holding Vanyel’s gaze with his own. “And I love you because I love you; not because I owe you anything, or because some god somewhere decided I was going to be a Herald, or because you’re a beloved teacher. I love you because you’re Vanyel, and we belong together, and together we can stand back-to-back against anything.”

Much to his confusion, Vanyel felt his eyes start burning. “I don’t know – really know what to say,” he replied awkwardly, blinking hard. “Except – ‘Lendel, I think after last night – I can’t ever remember being this happy.I’ve never loved anyone, I don’t know what it’s like, but if – “ he tried to say what he felt. “ – if wanting to die for you is love – “

His eyes burned; he rubbed at them with his free hand, and tried to put his feelings into coherent words. He groped after his thoughts, totally awkward and altogether out of his depth, but he neededto articulate his bewildering emotions. He’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed in his life. “I’d do anything for you; I’d take the sneers, the pointed fingers – I wouldn’t care, so long as they didn’t take me away from you. If I could, I’d give you anything. I’d do anything I could to make youhappy. And – I’ll .gladly share you with Gala.”

“Havens, don’t say that,” Tylendel chuckled, though his voice sounded suspiciously thick and hiseyes glistened in the shadows. “Shewanted to ‘eavesdrop,’ you know. She’d take you up on that, the randy little bitch.”

Vanyel’s face flamed hotly, and he laughed, using his own embarrassment to get past that moment of complete vulnerability. “I knewshe was saying something that would make me blush, I just knewit!”