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Автор книги: Kelly Elliott

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

HEATHER

One the way back to Garrett and Emma’s place, I tried desperately to keep my hands from shaking. I could tell that Garrett was trying to give me some space. I kept replaying what had happened between Josh and me only thirty minutes ago.

“Heather, I don’t want your first time to be like this. It needs to be special, a night you’ll always remember with as smile…and without any regret, princess.”

He didn’t want to make love to me because he was planning on fucking Lynda tonight. I should have known. He’ll never change. Ever.

Just then Garrett pulled me from my thoughts.

“Heather, are ya gonna let the boy explain?”

I spun my head toward Garrett and just stared at him.

“What?”

“Are you going to at least let him explain? He looked pretty torn up.”

Oh. My. God.

“No! Not to be rude, Garrett, but you have no idea what happened between us back there. Josh is a womanizer. He will never change, and I was crazy to think that I might be the one he would change for.”

I started to think about my father telling me how someday my prince would come for me. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again.

I missed my mother and father. Why did they have to leave me all alone?

***

We drove up to the house just as Gunner and Ellie were pulling up. I flew out of the Jeep and started to make my way over to Ellie. The moment she saw, me she knew something was wrong.

“Ari?” Ellie asked in a panicked voice.

Oh shit. How could I forget about Ari? What kind of friend am I?

I shook my head and tried to smile. I needed to pull it together. Ellie didn’t need to hear me bellyache about Josh.

Fucker that he is.

“What’s wrong, Heather?”

“I guess I’m just thinking about Ari. Have you heard from her since you left?”

Ellie’s eyes filled with tears.

“No, but I did talk to Jeff. He’s not doing so well. He’s blaming himself. He was crying so hard on the phone that I could hardly understand him.”

“What happened with the whole Rebecca thing?”

“Oh god, I’ll fill you in on the ride over to the club.”

Gunner let out a laugh. “Ells, it’s not a club. It’s a honkytonk.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever.”

As we walked up to the house, I heard someone pulling up the driveway. I turned around to see Josh’s truck. I started to walk faster, taking the steps of the porch two at a time, only to run right into Lynda.

“Jesus, watch where you’re going, Heather.”

I took one look at her and wanted to puke. She was dressed in a low-cut, very low-cut light blue shirt. I could see her bra through the shirt, and her shorter-than-short skirt was damn near up to her crotch. Her black cowboy boots rounded out the whole hooker-looking outfit. I ran my eyes up and down her.

“You think Josh will like what he sees?” She asked, giving me a wink.

I had an incredible urge to knock the crap out of this girl. I was just about to say something back to her when I heard Josh behind me.

“Heather, I really need to talk to you. Please.” His voice was practically begging me.

I turned around to face at him. Damn. He looked good in his white button-down shirt, jeans, and boots. I had the most intense feeling between my legs, I actually felt myself pushing my legs together.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Heather, please don’t walk away from me after what happened between us. You have to let me explain.”

I glanced over at Ellie and Gunner. They both looked very confused and looked at me and then at Josh.

“Wait…what do you mean what happened between y’all?” Lynda asked glaring at me.

I didn’t want to air my dirty little secrets in front of everyone, especially the tramp standing next to me. I started to walk toward the barn and Josh followed me.

Lynda tried to stop him. “Josh, wait, I thought we.”

“Lynda, please, I just need to talk to Heather for a few minutes. Just give me a couple of minutes.”

I walked as fast as I could down to the main barn. Before I could turn around, Josh grabbed me and pushed me up against the side of the barn.

He kissed me with so much passion that I almost lost myself in him. Finally pulling my lips away from his, I tried to push him away.

“Stop, Josh! Just stop right now! How dare you even think of kissing me after what you did to me! How could you?”

Josh went to say something, but I cut him off.

“You never had any intention of sleeping with me because you already made plans to fuck Lynda tonight!” I screamed at him.

Josh closed his eyes. When he opened them, I swore it looked like he had tears in his eyes.

“Heather, I don’t know how to explain this to you. I was trying to do something the only way I’ve ever known how to do it. I wanted you so much, but you just kept pushing me away, and.”

“So, you’re saying this is my fault? I tried to explain myself the other day, but you wouldn’t let me. You just acted like a stubborn ass, and then you started hanging all over Lynda like the man whore that you are.”

The moment I said it, I regretted it. The look on his face just about killed me.

“Okay. So, that’s what I’m always going to be to you, isn’t it?”

I just couldn’t stop. I needed to push him away before he hurt me anymore.

“I guess so…at least according to your text message. So, tell me, Josh. What was it you were trying to do? Forget about me by sleeping with Lynda?”

The look he gave me caused me to gasp.

“Oh. My. God. That’s it, isn’t it? You were going to sleep with her just to...”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence. He was going to sleep with Lynda to forget about me.

“No…I mean, yes…no, wait. I might have sent her that text, but I wouldn’t have done it. Princess, I haven’t been with anyone in months. I love you. I only want to be with you.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. No…he doesn’t love me. I can’t breathe.

I took a few steps away from him. I leaned over, placing my hands on my knees. I needed my parents. Oh my god. Why did they leave me all alone?

“Heather…baby, are you okay?”

Josh started to reach for me, and I jumped back.

“No, you couldn’t possibly love me. Why would you even think about sleeping with someone else to forget about someone you loved? That doesn’t even make any sense!” I started to laugh.

Josh stared at me with a strange look.

“Heather, can we please just go back to Jeff and Ari’s place? Just to talk about this, please. I don’t want to lose you.”

I looked up into his eyes, and my heart broke in two. I was about to do the only thing I knew to keep my heart from being broken anymore.

“You can’t lose something you never had.”

Josh took a step back away from me. He started to shake his head.

“Don’t do this again, Heather. Don’t push me away. If you push me away this time, I swear to God… I’m done with all of this.”

My heart starting beating so fast, and my legs felt like they were about to give out on me.

“I believe your date for the night is waiting for you.”

Josh grabbed the side of the barn, like he was trying to hold himself up. I instantly wanted to run into his arms and beg him to take me back to Jeff and Ari’s house. I started to take a step toward him when he looked at me. His eyes were different. The look from earlier was replaced with anger. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, princ, um Heather. I guess we’re clear on where we stand with each other so….”

I just stood there and stared at him. Am I really going to just let him walk away from me?

“Yeah, I guess we’re clear. Excuse me, I’d like to find out how Ari is doing and what happened with Jeff and Rebecca today,” I said.

I started to walk past him. When he took me by the arm, I stopped and looked up into his beautiful green eyes. I’d give anything to see him smile, giving me that dimple he had on his right cheek.

“No matter if you believe me or not, I’ll always love you,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath of air. I couldn’t move.

Josh leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

“Please come back to Jeff and Ari’s tonight. I promise that I won’t bother you.”

With that, he turned and headed back up to the house. The moment he left, I leaned back against the barn and started to cry. I cried so hard that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What is wrong with me? Why did I just push away the only man, besides my father, that I’ve ever loved, ever needed?

I tried to calm myself down. I was sure Ellie would come looking for me if I didn’t come back right after Josh.

Sure enough, I heard her call out my name.

I looked up at her with tears streaming down my face.

“Oh my god, Heather! What did he do to you?”

I let out a laugh.

“He didn’t do anything I didn’t ask him to do.”

“Heather, this is insane. What the hell is going on between you two? Josh just walked up and grabbed Lynda. He told Gunner that they would meet us at the bar. I thought you two were working it out.”

It took me another minute or so to stop crying and start breathing normally again.

“Shit, Ellie, I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life, but I’m not sure. My heart is telling me one thing, and my head is telling me another.”

“Take some deep breaths and just start at the beginning,” Ellie said as she walked me over to two chairs.

I told Ellie all about how great Josh had been with Matt all day and then about what had happened between us before Garrett had shown up.

“By the way, y’all better keep your doors locked. Garrett just walked right into Jeff and Ari’s place without even knocking. I was naked for Christ’s sake!”

Ellie was laughing her ass off, which was just pissing me off even more. “What the hell is so funny?”

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know if I’m in shock from what happened between you and Josh or the fact that Garrett did the same damn thing to Jeff and Ari the other day!”

I told Ellie about Josh’s text message to Lynda and then Josh’s explanation about it.

How he kept trying to say he wouldn’t have done it. Then, how he told me he loved me and would always love me.

“Holy hell, Heather. Josh told you he loved you?”

I nodded my head as I felt another tear roll down my face.

“Heather, did you ever think that maybe Josh is telling you the truth? I mean, I’ve heard Jeff and Gunner talk about how they’ve never seen Josh go this long without hooking up with a girl. I’m not trying to say he was right, thinking about sleeping with Lynda to forget about you, but…he is a man. Their thinking is pretty fucked-up to say the least.”

I let out a small laugh. My heart was screaming for me to go to Josh and beg him to be with me, but my head was telling me something all together different.

“Ells, do you honestly believe that a guy like Josh is really interested in a girl like me?”

“What the hell does that mean, Heather? A girl like you? You’re beautiful, funny, and smart as hell. Yes! I do believe a guy like Josh would be lucky as hell to have a girl like you.”

“My heart wants him so badly, but my head tells me that he’ll never be true to me. He’ll never be happy with just me.”

“I don’t believe that for one minute. Just because he was a player in college doesn’t mean that he can’t find a girl to love and be with just her. Deep down inside, Josh is a sweetheart. Did you know that he’s a Big Brother? He meets with his little brother at least once a week and pays for all of his sports at school because his single mom can’t afford it. He’s also helped build three Habitat for Humanity houses, and he’s helped his dad make all the pews for their church. He told Gunner and me that his dream is to make custom furniture and take over his dad’s business someday. He has as straight head on his shoulders, Heather. He just needs to find that right girl to round it all out.”

I sat there in a state of shock. I didn’t know any of that. Josh had never once mentioned any of those things. My heart was hurting even more.

“I just wish my mother and father were here. They would tell me what to do.”

Ellie looked at me, and then stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me into a hug.

“Oh god, Heather. I know how much you miss your parents, baby, but I promise you that they would’ve told you this has to be your decision. Only you know your heart, Heather. I know how much you depended on your dad and how much of a rock he was for you. But, baby, you need to know that you can do this on your own. You can’t be afraid to let someone else into your heart because you’re afraid of losing them.”

I pulled back and smiled at my best friend. Then, I thought about Ari.

“How’s Ari?”

“Come on, we’ll talk on the way to the bar…or as Gunner keeps calling it, the honky-tonk.”

Hooking our arms together, we started back toward the house.

Gunner was leaning up against his truck, talking on his cell phone. He didn’t look very happy.

This whole damn day just sucked.

As we got closer, Gunner hung up and looked at Ellie.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie asked Gunner.

He pushed his hands through his hair.

“That was Jeff. He just needed to talk to someone. I guess Ari’s been crying nonstop, and Jeff is doing nothing but blaming himself. I’d really like to go into Austin and give Rebecca a goddamn kick in the ass.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t go out. I mean, with Ari in the hospital and Jeff so upset…Gunner, maybe we should go back to the hospital.”

“I asked him if he wanted us to and he said no. He and Ari really need to be alone. Come on, let’s get going. I’ve got two beautiful women I need to take dancing tonight.”

Gunner held open the doors for Ellie and me to get into his truck. Leaning in, and helped Ellie buckle her seat belt, and then kissed her and told her he loved her.

My heart swelled at the love these two had for each other.

Will I ever find that kind of love?

A part of me knew I already found it…

And then let it go.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

GUNNER

On the way into town, Ellie filled Heather in on everything that had happened with Ari and Jeff. I still couldn’t believe how crazy Rebecca was. Thank God Jeff found out now before he got attached to the baby.

“I knew she was lying. I knew it! What the hell? Did she really think that Jeff wouldn’t ask for a paternity test?” Heather asked.

“I know, Heather. Believe me, I’ve been thinking about it ever since Jeff told me. A part of me wants to just drive to Austin and beat the shit out of her.”

I had to let out a laugh. I could picture Ellie walking right into the hospital room and knocking the shit out of Rebecca.

“So, let me see if I got this straight. Rebecca slept with Jason, while he was still dating Ari. Rebecca got pregnant, but she slept with Jeff one night when they ran into each other at Rebels. Then, Crysti overheard someone talking about the wedding, but she thought Jeff and Ari getting married.”

“Yep, she called Rebecca, and Rebecca panicked. Her last-ditch attempt to get Jeff back was to tell him the baby was his. I guess she told Jeff that she had thought she would just be able to have the baby and then call him afterward. Her little act of fake contractions today though did her in. She practically tried to have him removed from the hospital.”

“Wow…what a nutcase. I feel so sorry for that baby.”

By the time we got into town, heading into the bar, Heather had filled Ellie in on what happened with Josh. My head was spinning from how fast the two of them had talked. Snippets of what they had talked about were replaying in my head.

“Oh no, he didn’t text her that!”

“Oh my god! He told you that?”

I need a fucking beer. I just wanted to forget this day ever happened. My heart was aching for Jeff and Ari. I wanted to kick Josh’s ass for what he did to Heather. I was worried about my father. Shit.

I walked up to the bar and ordered three beers. By the time I walked back to the table and set them down, I knew something was very wrong. I looked at Ellie and Heather. They were both just staring out at the dance floor. Heather looked like she was about to start crying.

“Cookie Jar” by Gym Class Heroes was playing, and I was having a déjà vu moment. Do I want to turn around and look?

No…but I did. I immediately saw Josh and Lynda dancing. Oh fuck. They were all over each other while Josh was kissing her. I’m going to fucking kill him. He already had a beer in one hand, on his way to getting drunk. The way he was grinding into Lynda was enough to piss me off.

I turned back around and saw Ellie looking at me. She mouthed do something to me. What the hell am I supposed to do? Lynda was an adult, and Josh and Heather weren’t together. So, what does Ellie want me to do?

Heather was still staring at Josh and Lynda. Then, she looked over at Ellie and started laughing.

“What in the world could you possibly find funny about this, Heather?” Ellie asked.

Heather shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I was just thinking that this is the perfect song for that asshole. It’s pretty clear to me that he has moved on, so maybe I need to do the same thing.” Then, she picked up her beer and started to down it.

I looked at Ellie as I sat down.

“Aren’t they going to want to card Heather and me when they see us drinking these beers?”

“I’ve been coming here for years. They don’t even as for my ID anymore. Country-living, Ellie.”

“Huh, I’m gonna have to remember that when we have kids,” Ellie said as she took a sip of her beer.

I threw my head back and laughed. Then, I leaned over and gave her a kiss. I love this damn girl.

***

As the night went on, Heather and Josh were both trying to drink each other out of their minds. The two of them were getting wasted and not giving a shit about it. Heather was dancing with every guy who asked, and Josh and Lynda looked like they needed to get a fucking room.

“Gunner, I’m worried about Heather. She’s really getting drunk, and you know she doesn’t drink this much very often. Maybe we should leave now,” Ellie said, watching Heather talk to the DJ.

“Yeah, I’m thinking it’s about time to go as well. I think you’re going to have to drive my truck, sweetheart, since you only drank one beer. There’s no way I’m letting Josh drive with as much as he has had to drink.”

I watched as Heather walked up to the guy she had been dancing with for the last thirty minutes. She reached out her hand, and then they both started to walk toward the dance floor. She led him right next to Josh and Lynda.

Britney Spear’s “Womanizer” started to play, and I knew that this wasn’t going to end well. I looked at Ellie, who was just staring at Heather with her mouth hanging open. I glanced back out to the dance floor to see Heather and this guy all over each other. I was about to tell Ellie to go get Heather.

Then, she said, “Oh, holy fuck.”

I looked back and Heather and the guy were kissing, and his hands were all over her. Then, he moved his hands her shirt. I looked over at Josh and saw the look in his eyes. I jumped up and started to walk out toward them when Ellie grabbed my arm.

“Gunner, wait. Stop. Don’t get involved, please.”

Just then, I saw Josh grabbed this guy from behind and spun him around. Motherfucker. He’s going to punch him.

Sure enough, Josh swung and knocked the shit out of the guy. I pushed Ellie’s hand off of my arm and ran over to Josh. I grabbed him before he went after the guy again.

“What the fuck is your problem, you asshole?” The guy shouted at Josh.

“That’s my girl you’re kissing, you motherfucker.”

Heather had her hand over her mouth in shock. Josh was trying to get out of my grip, but he was so drunk he could hardly stand up. When Josh yelled out that she was his girl, Heather started to laugh.

She walked up to Josh, and he instantly stopped struggling against me.

“My girl? Are you kidding me? You practically fuck her on the dance floor all night long, and then you have the nerve to hit a guy for kissing me! You really are a jerk, do you know that?” Heather said as she poked her finger over and over again in Josh’s chest.

“He had his hand up your shirt, Heather. You’re not that kind of girl,” Josh said as he tried to pull out of my grip.

“Josh, if I let you go, will you settle down?” I let up some on my hold.

“Fine, Gunner, just let my ass go. If this is what she wants, then so be it.” Josh started to walk away.

“Fuck you, Josh!” Heather shouted.

He slowly turned around and smiled at her.

“You already had your chance. It’s someone else’s turn now.”

Ah shit. Ellie walked between Josh and Heather just as Heather was about to go after Josh.

“Heather, stop this right now and let’s just go. Lynda, are you riding with Gunner or me?”

“She’s going with Gunner. I’m sure her and Josh haven’t finished what they started.”

Heather pushed past Ellie and Lynda and then followed Josh out of the bar.

Jesus, what a crazy-ass group of friends I have.

I took Ellie by the arm and led her out of the bar. When we got to the side of the building, I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. Her hands immediately went up to my head, as she pulled at my hair. She let out a moan that traveled throughout my whole body.

I pulled slightly away from her and smiled.

“Wow. What the heck was that for?” Ellie asked, pushing her body into me.

My dick instantly got hard, and I wanted nothing more than to get her home.

“For marrying me and loving me,” I said, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

She smiled up at me. Leaning in, she was about to kiss me when we heard Josh and Heather going at it again.

“Holy shit, it’s like Ari and Jeff all over again!” I said.

I took Ellie’s hand and led her to the parking lot as she let out a laughed.