Текст книги "Beautifully Insightful"

Автор книги: K.C. Lynn

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

I sense him staring at me and I wait for him to say something, but instead of answering I notice his fingers change direction from the lazy circles they were just drawing moments ago. They start drawing sharp lines and I try to follow its pattern. My heart stalls in my chest when I think he just spelled something out but I can’t be sure. When he moves back up to the top and starts again, I pay closer attention and realize I was right, that he’s spelling a message. After he finishes for the second time I know he just spelled ‘I love you’. I lay still, not knowing if I should respond, just in case I’m wrong, but thankfully I don’t have to.

“Do you know what I just wrote, Em?” he asks softly, with an edge of vulnerability in his voice.

“Yes. I– I think so.”

He suddenly flips me over so I’m on my back and the top half of his body comes over mine. I feel his face close, his breath whispering across my lips. “Come with me, Emily.”

“Where?” I ask in confusion.

“I’ve been accepted to the University Of Florida and I want you to come with me.”

Shock has me stilling. “What? But– but how? I have school.”

“We can get you distance learning or something. I’ll help you.”

“But what about money? I can’t work right now, Ryder, and with my disability…”

“You don’t have to. Thanks to Hector, I have a job lined up already with his cousin who owns a garage there. He is going to take me on and let me work around my classes.”

I shake my head, my mind having a hard time comprehending all this, and then feel him rest his forehead on mine. “I’ll take care of you, Em. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

My throat burns with emotion and I swallow thickly before laying my hand on the side of his face. “Oh, Ryder, I know you would, it’s not that, but I don’t want you to take care of me, at least not like that. You’re going to have school, a job, I don’t want you to have to worry about taking care of me too.”

“I don’t give a shit about any of that. This is the only way I can think of that we can be together. We can get the fuck away from all this shit and live in a place where no one knows us. Where we come from won’t matter there.”

I think about everything he says, my mind running a million miles a minute. I desperately want to say yes, but… I know I can’t. At least not yet, not until I’m more independent. I don’t want to have to rely on him. I want to be able to contribute. If only my trust fund from my grandmother was accessible then it would at least help, but right now I have nothing to offer.

He senses my answer through my silence. “Never mind, it was a stupid idea,” he says before laying back down beside me.

“No, it wasn’t,” I rush to say and sit up. “I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, but I just…”

“Em, it’s fine, really, just forget about it.” The finality of his tone has me lying back down. He puts an arm over me, but it’s not the same as it was a few minutes ago. I can sense he’s upset, which has my throat clogging with emotion. Not only because I don’t want him to be mad at me, but also because I know he’s been accepted and will be leaving for Florida soon.

Tears begin to spill down my cheeks, I try to keep them silent but a little sniffle escapes before I can stop it. Ryder releases a deep breath before coming over top of me again. “Come on, Em, please don’t cry.”

I shake my head and try to swallow past my tears so I can respond. “I just don’t want you to be mad. I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, I really do. I love you so much, but…”

“I know, baby. I’m not mad, I promise. It was just a thought.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” I tell him, my words falling off on a small sob.

“You aren’t going to lose me, I promise. We will think of another way. Let’s just enjoy tonight for what it is and worry about it tomorrow, okay?”

I nod and he leans in to give me one more kiss. One that completely connects our souls and locks us in our own world, one I never want to live without.

Chapter 7

Ryder

The sound of a gasp pulls me from a deep sleep. My eyes snap open and I see a Mexican lady staring at Emily and me in horror, which has me realizing I fell asleep. Oh fuck! I look down at Emily draped across my chest and I’m thankful to see her nightgown is back in place. I clear my throat, wondering how I should start damage control when Emily lulls from sleep.

“Emily Michaels, are you crazy?” the lady shouts in a loud whisper before closing the door behind her.

Emily shoots up in a panic, still half asleep. I quickly steady her and glare at the bitch who’s yelling at her. “Rosa… I-I.”

“It’s my fault, not hers,” I say as I grab my shirt off the floor and throw it over my head. The lady watches me nervously, and I’m fucking thankful my pants are on. I fully intended to leave last night, but Emily felt so damn good next to me. I don’t remember sleep taking me.

I lean over now and pull Emily into my arms. “I accidentally fell asleep. Sorry, Em.”

She lays a hand on my face. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to.” I encircle her wrist and kiss the palm of her hand.

“You are lucky your father left early this morning,” the lady cuts in, still sounding pissed, but her expression is a little softer as she watches us. “But your mother is in the shower. So you need to get out right now!” she adds, pointing directly at me.

“I’ll see you in trig, baby.” Since we are already busted I don’t hold back from kissing her.

Her cheeks turn pink but she gives me her usual smile that knocks me on my ass. “Bye, Ryder.”

I stand and move to make my exit out the window when the lady intercepts me. “What are you doing, you stupid boy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I rear back in shock. Jesus, she’s feisty for being little. She shakes her head then grabs me by the arm. “Come, now, I’ll sneak you out the front, but we have to hurry.”

I let her drag me out of the room and hear Emily giggle just as the lady closes the door behind us. I follow along beside her through the massive house and try to ignore her questioning eyes, hoping that will keep her silent, unfortunately it doesn’t. “You must end this.”

I shake my head. “No, I won’t. No one is going to keep me from her.”

She expels a worried sigh and stops me once we get to the bottom of the stairs. “Listen to me. I know you guys care about each other, I can see that, but you do not know what you are getting involved in when it comes to her father. You are not only putting yourself in danger but you are risking Emily’s safety as well.”

Emily’s safety? “What the hell are you talking about?”

She looks away for a split second before swinging her gaze back to mine and I’m shocked to see the fear in it. “Governor Michaels is a ruthless man, more than you will ever know. That is all I will tell you. I am begging you, for both of your sakes, you need to let her go.”

“If her safety is in danger then why the hell would I leave her?”

“She won’t be in any danger if you leave her be.”

I think about her words and just the thought has my chest constricting with panic. I shake my head. “No,” I state firmly and head for the door. “I’ll take care of her. I won’t let anyone hurt her, not even her father.”

“You are no match for him. You have to end this, Ryder, it’s the only way Emily will be safe, and…”

“Save your breath. I’m not leaving her!” I close the door before she can say any more. I try to keep her words out of my head the entire way back to my bike, but can’t. You are risking Emily’s safety as well. What the hell does that mean? Em said her parents have never laid a hand on her and I know she wouldn’t lie to me.

I quickly snap out of my thoughts when I reach my bike that I parked a ways down from her property, to see a sleek, black car parked next to it. Well fuck! I guess it was only a matter of time, but I did not want to deal with it this morning, though I’m glad Emily isn’t here and has to deal with it.

As I get closer, the driver of the car gets out and opens the back door because the asshole in the back thinks he’s too good to do it himself. Low and behold none other than Governor Michaels steps out. I’ve only seen him a few times, but even if I hadn’t there is no denying this man is Emily’s father. He has the same light brown hair as she does, and identical ice blue eyes, only where they look innocent on Em they look manipulative on him.

I don’t falter my step and continue to my bike, not wanting him to think he intimidates me, because he doesn’t.

“Mr. Jameson, we finally meet.”

Ignoring his greeting, I straddle my bike and hold my helmet on my lap before turning to him. I’m surprised when he walks up and offers me his hand. I stare at it for a long second then accept it. For two reasons: one – I want to know what his deal is, and two – he is Emily’s father after all, no matter how much I hate him.

“Governor,” I greet civilly.

He backs up and I hold his stare, waiting for him to say whatever he needs to say. “I’ve learned an awful lot about you the last few weeks, Mr. Jameson.”

Weeks? I grunt, of course he has, I’ll bet even that prick Prescott knew before yesterday.

“I have to admit, I am surprised how long you and Emily have been able to hide this little farce of yours from me. I never knew my daughter had it in her, maybe she’s more like me than I thought.”

I glare at him, all civility gone now. “She’s nothing like you.” I don’t know him well, but I do know he’s your typical politician – lying and manipulative. Emily doesn’t have a calculating bone in her body.

He smirks. “Are you trying to tell me I don’t know my daughter, Mr. Jameson? Do you think because you have known her for exactly three months that you know her better than me? Although, if you have been sleeping at my house, in her bed, then I guess you do know her better than I do.”

I clench my jaw and have to restrain myself from knocking him the fuck out. “It’s not like that,” I grind out.

“No?”

“No, it’s not. Emily and I care about each other, and I’m not going to let anyone – including you – keep us apart.”

He rubs at his jaw. “Well that just goes to show how little you know about me.” I hold his stare, showing him I’m not going to back down. “But like I said, I have gotten to know you quite well. I know where you come from, or rather who. Your parents are quite the, how should I say this?”

“White trash?” I offer, not having a problem admitting it.

He looks a little surprised. “Well sure, if that’s the term you want to use, that would work.”

“It does work because it’s the truth. It’s too bad we can’t pick our parents, isn’t it? I’m sure if many of us could, we would.”

He smirks, not missing the intention of my words. “Come on now, Mr. Jameson, you don’t really believe Emily would give all this up if she could, do you? Especially to be with someone who could never give her any of it.”

“Yeah, I do, but that goes to show how much you know about your daughter. She doesn’t give a shit about any of this.”

“Think logically about this. She is a sheltered, blind girl, and you’re the first guy to ever show her any attention, of course she is going to think she cares about you.” I keep silent and try not to let his words get to me. He releases an exaggerated breath and shakes his head. “I have to admit, I’m a little surprised to know how warped your view is of my daughter, but women… they sure can mess with our judgment, especially when they are spreading their legs for us.”

“You shut the fuck up,” I seethe, barely hanging on to my control. “I swear to fucking God, I don’t care who you are, if you disrespect Emily I will knock you out!”

He smirks, knowing he’s got to me, which pisses me off more. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a white, folded piece of paper before handing it to me. I rip it from him, curious to know what it is. Opening it, I see it’s a check for a hundred thousand dollars.

I look up at him, wondering if he’s serious. “You have got to be kidding me. You fucking think you can pay me off?”

“I’m being kind enough to give you an out, Mr. Jameson. Use the brains that you did to score that full academic scholarship, and take the money to Florida with you. There is plenty there for you to live off of. The other option isn’t going to be so generous.”

I grind my teeth at his threat. “Yeah, and what option is that?”

“Believe me, son, you don’t want to find out, but I will tell you that more than your future will be at stake. I’m a very powerful man, Mr. Jameson. I would really hate to have to use that power on innocent people. Like, let’s say your friend Hector.” I falter in surprise. “He has worked so hard to build his business. Imagine if it were taken away from him, how would he be able to support his family? Especially his sick wife.”

A dangerous violence rushes through my veins, but more than that I feel fucking helpless. I consider my options, wondering what I can do.

“If you care about my daughter as much as you say you do, then leave her alone. You have nothing to offer her. You will never be able to give her what she already has. Do everyone a favor and leave, or else Hector will be first, and losing his business will be the least of his worries.” With that last threat he gets in the car and the driver pulls away.

I sit stunned for a second before my rage breaks loose. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I throw my helmet against the tree in front of me, smashing it.

I drop my head into my hands, gripping my hair tightly, hoping the sting will calm some of the rage coursing through me. I sit, feeling helpless, and think about Hector. I think about everything he has done for me, I think about his kids, his wife who has cancer and needs chemo treatments. Then Rosa’s words replay in my head: You have to end this, Ryder, it’s the only way Emily will be safe.

I look down to see the check still in my hand and rip it up into a million pieces. Starting my bike up, I take off, knowing what I have to do. The entire ride to school my chest pulls so fucking tight that I can’t take in a breath, and I wonder if I will ever be able to fully breathe again.

Emily

I pull at the long strands of dry grass as I sit, leaning against the small wishing well that I love so much, and wait for the sound of a motorcycle to approach. My fingers run through Summer’s soft fur while her head rests on my lap. I listen to the water rush from the creek, just a short distance away, and the sound of crickets become more pronounced, telling me that night is wearing on.

“Come on, Ryder, where are you?”

The more time that passes, the more my anxiety increases. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he left my house yesterday morning, which is not like him. I figured he never came to trigonometry because he was too tired, but he hasn’t been to school at all and he hasn’t returned my messages. I’m praying he’s okay and his father hasn’t hurt him for not coming home the other night. After what Cece has told me about his parents, and Ryder being so upset the night he came to me, I have been worried that’s the case.

But wouldn’t he have at least answered my messages? I left him another message after school today, telling him to meet me here. We have met at this spot a few times before, late at night after he’s finished work. It’s a far enough distance from the main house that my parents wouldn’t know any better, especially because they are always so caught up in themselves.

I quickly startle out of my thoughts at the sound of an approaching car, its motor is familiar and I’d know it anywhere. Summer stands to attention next to me as the vehicle stops. At the sound of the car door opening, I instantly smell my father’s expensive cologne mingle with the woodsy scent in the air.

“Father,” I whisper nervously, wondering what he’s doing here. Please, God, don’t let it be what I’m thinking.

“Emily, get in the car now.”

With my anxiety spiking at his tone, I grab the ledge of the well and stand up shakily. “Why?”

“How long did you really think you were going to fool me for?”

Knowing I’ve been found out, I try reasoning with him. “Father, please listen. Ryder and I love each other, and…”

He laughs bitterly, cutting me off. “Please, Emily, you are smarter than that. I knew letting you go to that school was a mistake. Not even three months in and you had to shame this family’s name by spreading your legs for the first piece of trash that pays you any attention.”

I swallow thickly and ignore the sting of his words. “It isn’t like that. I don’t care what you or mother says, I’m not going to stop seeing him.”

“He’s gone, Emily, and he’s not coming back.”

Pure fear washes over me, and my heart pounds hard and fast. “What do you mean? What have you done to him?”

“I didn’t do anything to him. I was actually very generous; I gave him enough money to help get him get through college. He accepted it graciously.”

I shake my head, denying his words right away. “You’re lying, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave me, not for money.”

“Of course he did, and can you blame him? Look at where he comes from. What person wouldn’t take the money?”

“YOU’RE LYING!” I scream as tears start rushing down my face.

My father loses his patience. “I am not. Now get in the goddamn car!” He grabs my arm angrily but I pull against his force. Summer starts growling through our struggle.

“No, let go of me. I am not going anywhere. He’s coming; I know he is. RYDER?” I shout, praying he walks out any second.

“Stop it, Emily, you are acting like a fool.”

He pulls me harder but I resist. “No, I’m not leaving! Let go of me!” The blow across my face catches me off guard and knocks me back. Pain radiates behind my eyes and I grab hold of the well to keep myself upright. I lay my hand against my stinging cheek, stunned that my father just hit me. Summer snarls and barks like crazy before my father lets out a yelp.

“Summer, come!” I command quickly, not wanting him to hurt her. I feel her come to stand in front of me, guarding me.

“Fine!” my father seethes. “Fucking stay here and you will see for yourself. If you really thought you were more to him than a piece of ass you are dumber than I thought, Emily.”

I ignore his cruel words and hear him enter the car a moment later, before it takes off. I stand on shaking legs, my heart pounding in my ears and my lungs trying to take in a breath through the severe pain in my chest, as I try to comprehend what just happened.

He’s gone, Emily, and he’s not coming back. I shake my head as my father’s words replay in my mind. “No. No, no, no,” I whisper past my tears. “Ryder!” I start screaming for him, desperately willing him to come. He wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t take the money. I scream repeatedly for him, my voice becoming hoarse from it. When he doesn’t come the pain becomes too much to bear. I drop to the ground and feel Summer follow suit next to me, her cries mixing with my own.

“Please come back. Please,” I plead through the gut-wrenching sobs that rip from my chest.

I have no idea how much time passes but I know it’s late because the night air has turned increasingly colder. Summer is curled up against my stomach, her head in my chest, as I lay broken and pleading.

A long while later I hear speedy footsteps. “Emily, there you are.” Rosa’s voice is thick with tears as I hear her rush toward me. Summer moves out of her way as she kneels down beside me and drapes a blanket over my cold body. “Are you hurt?” she asks in concern.

Thinking about her question for a minute, I nod then clutch at my chest, pointing to the excruciating pain in my heart.

“Oh, Emily, I am so sorry, honey,” she says before lifting the top half of my body and cradling me against her. I breathe in her warm, sugar scent but it does nothing to ease my pain. Gut-wrenching sobs start falling past my lips again. Rosa rocks me back and forth. “I know it hurts right now, sweetheart, but this is truly for the best. It would have been worse if you fought your father on this.” I shake my head because I can’t get any words past my pain.

My heart completely shatters and is forever altered, because the one boy, who loved me for my every flaw and made me feel beautiful, has been ripped away from me and he’s never coming back. Even though I knew this, I still waited for him for months. I prayed he would come back, but he never did. Instead I got lost in my lonely world again, one I didn’t want to live in and one I never felt like I truly belonged in.