Текст книги "Beautifully Insightful"

Автор книги: K.C. Lynn

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Chapter 3

Ryder

The entire ride to work my body is jacked with rage, yet my dick is hard as fuck after being so close to her. What the fuck is it about her?

Just this morning I had heard about the Governor’s daughter coming to our school to finish out her final year of high school. I didn’t know anything about her, or where she had been before. But on my way to trigonometry I passed by Jimmy and the guys as they were talking about her.

“Hey, Jameson, have you got a look at the Governor’s daughter yet?” Jimmy had asked. “Who knew a blind chick could be so fucking hot.”

That was how I actually found out she was blind, not in trigonometry. After hearing the insecurity in her voice, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I shook my head at Jimmy’s remark, not giving a shit. I don’t follow politics because I personally think all politicians are nothing but a bunch of lying assholes. Of course I know of Governor Michaels, everyone does, but I had no idea he had a daughter, let alone a blind one. I also didn’t give a shit because I knew she would be like the rest of them – high on herself. Looking down her nose at people while she walked around in her designer clothes, making sure not to break a fucking nail.

Yet, when I walked into trigonometry and spotted Emily Michaels, my step had faltered and my dick instantly turned hard. She was not hot. I don’t know if there is a word powerful enough to describe how beautiful she is. Long, light brown hair fell past her shoulders in loose waves and shone as if the fucking sun was shining on it. Her face was soft and sweet with full pouty lips. You could tell her sun-kissed complexion was natural and not fake like all the other girls in our school. It was weird to see her wearing sunglasses but I figured that had to do with her being blind.

When I noticed the seat behind her was empty I couldn’t stop myself from taking it. Which was stupid because then I got a whiff of her scent, something that smelled like rain, yet there was a hint of something sweet in it. I don’t know, I can’t fucking explain it, all I know is it made my dick even harder than it already was.

As class started, I became curious how a blind chick was going to do what we all did, but somehow she did, and she did it well. When we pulled out our books she pulled out hers. Hers looked a little different and I watched her, intrigued, as she followed along by skimming her delicate fingers along her book. I peeked over her shoulder and saw there were bumps on her pages. When Mr. Wesson had asked for someone to read the formula out loud, and she put her hand up, I watched in fascination as she read with her hands. And the sound of her voice was like a punch to the fucking gut. It was soft, sweet and the most innocent sound I have ever heard in my life.

After class was over she waited until almost everyone had left before she stood up to walk out. My dick had done another jump at the sight of her classy sundress that showcased long, toned legs and hugged a tight, lithe body. For a slender girl she had the best rack I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen my share.

Mr. Wesson had asked if she wanted assistance but she declined it. She walked slowly, yet she was confident in her steps. She lightly skimmed her fingers over certain things as she passed them, like the walls or lockers, and I would see her lips move slightly as if she were counting.

It was intriguing and I couldn’t stop thinking about her all fucking morning. I swear everywhere I went I could still smell her. So at lunch, for the first time in years, I went into the cafeteria to eat, hoping to catch another glimpse of her. I sat at the far back with Jimmy and the guys, and watched her walk in with her arm linked with her crazy-ass friend Cece. They went and sat with exactly who I expected them to sit with. The rich assholes who thought they were better than everyone else. Only again, what I saw of Emily Michaels is not what I expected. She smiled politely to the people who talked with her, but she never engaged with any of them. Her body language spoke like she would rather be sitting anywhere else, which fascinated me even more.

I didn’t see her for the rest of the day, that is until I walked out of the school after talking with Mrs. Johnson, the guidance counselor, to see that prick Prescott pressing her up against the car. At first glance I thought they were fucking around, and for the first time in my life a foreign feeling took root inside me. I’m pretty sure it was jealousy, which is fucked up because I don’t get jealous. I don’t give a fuck about anyone enough to get jealous, yet, for some reason, with her I did. Except then I heard her screaming for him to stop, and that jealousy turned into rage. My body is still wound lethally tight, and I wish I had knocked that motherfucker’s teeth out like I threatened. If he fucks with her again then I will. Scholarship or not.

I didn’t think I could become any more intrigued than I already was with Emily Michaels, but I was wrong. After our brief meeting I’m even more curious about her, especially after her comment about how she would rather be known as the blind girl than the Governor’s daughter. What the hell did that mean?

I get pulled from my thoughts when I drive up to work. I park my bike in my usual spot then walk into Hector’s garage.

“Hey, there’s our college boy,” Hector, my boss, bellows from across the garage.

I grunt and ignore his proud smile, not wanting a big deal made about it. Even though it is. It’s not often a kid who grows up on this side of the tracks gets to go to college, but I busted my ass in school, praying I would get the chance because I knew it would be the only thing to get me out of this hellhole and away from my useless parents. Only a few more months. “Hey, Hector. Sorry I’m late.”

“I almost sent a search party out for you. You’re never late,” the older man says, waiting for an explanation.

“I got into it with Prescott and thought I was going to have to kick his ass.”

Any easiness my boss had earlier vanishes. “Now don’t go getting yourself into trouble after working so hard on that scholarship, boy. Especially with someone like Prescott. You know his father will cause you nothing but trouble.”

I know he’s just looking out for me like he always has, but it still has my back going straight because I don’t like anyone telling me what to do. “Yeah, well I don’t give a fuck what his dad tries to do, and if they’re smart they won’t do anything about it. Otherwise the entire city will find out about him trying to force his dick in the Governor’s daughter.”

Hector’s eyes go wide. “Governor Michaels’ daughter?”

“Yeah. Why, you know her?”

“Not personally, no, but I know of her. I’m surprised to hear she’s going to your school. She’s blind.”

I shrug. “She didn’t seem to have any problems. She got along fine, just like the rest of us.”

The older man’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Oh yeah? Tell me, is she as beautiful as she looks in the papers?”

I didn’t know about her being in any newspapers but I guess she would be. Like I said, I don’t follow that shit.

I don’t answer him, but he still sees the answer in my eyes. He expels a breath and shakes his head. “Ryder, don’t you go and mess with her now. I know you’re a good boy, but their side won’t see that. They only see where you come from and I have no doubt her father would bring the wrath of hell down on you if you get involved with her.”

I have no illusions about where I stand with Emily Michaels. I know she is way out of my fucking league. Not because of her money or who her father is, but because of who she is. After our meeting I realize she’s as sweet and innocent as she looks. Way too innocent for the likes of me.

I nod at Hector but know I’m lying. I know we can never have anything, but I can’t leave her alone. Not yet. Not until my curiosity is filled. Although, I have a feeling I could find out everything there is to know about Emily Michaels and it still won’t be enough.

Chapter 4

Emily

“Are you ready for this, girl, or what?” Cece asks excitedly as we speed through the night in her convertible, heading to the beach party that happens every year once school lets in.

“Yes, I’ve been intrigued ever since you told me about it.” Though as curious as I am, there is really only one reason why I’m going, and that’s in hopes of running into Ryder.

A week has passed since the Kyle incident and my first meeting with Ryder. Since then he has made brief appearances throughout my days. It turns out he sits right behind me in trigonometry, the one class I now look forward to every day, all because I will get to be near him. I will get to smell his clean, masculine scent that wraps around my senses and makes my heart beat faster. I will get to hear his deep, smooth voice that always sends a low flutter in my tummy when he greets me as he takes the seat behind me.

I don’t know what it is about him, but I fear I have become obsessed and I can’t seem to help myself. I’ve been craving to know more about the mysterious bad boy who everyone has an opinion about. Because boy do they have an opinion. I have never heard one person be talked about by so many people in my life. The guys made very few comments and you can tell they were careful about what they said. I asked Jimmy Newman, who happens to be in a few of my classes, about the rumors one day, because I heard if Ryder associates with anyone it’s him, but he said that Ryder doesn’t associate with anyone. He said he’s the kind of guy who likes to keep to himself, doesn’t do any attachments, and he was someone you didn’t screw with. Which is something I had already heard from Cece. It amazes me to hear how many people fear him. I know I don’t know a lot about him, but from my brief encounters with him he did not seem threatening. I guess, when I think back to the way he was with Kyle, he was, and boy did he do it well, but that was for good reason.

Then there were the girls’ opinions. They either bragged about a night they spent with Ryder, or you heard them talking about wanting to spend a night with him. And for some reason that really bothered me. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it and I know I have no right to feel that way, but when it comes to Ryder Jameson it seems like my feelings, or rather my hormones, have a mind of their own.

Unfortunately, for as much as I want to know more about Ryder, all his appearances have been brief and I haven’t gotten much more than a greeting from him. That was until yesterday morning, after class, when Jimmy had asked me if I was going to the beach party the next night. I told him yes and that I would see him there.

After I walked out of the classroom and was headed to my next class, Ryder stopped me in the hallway. “Em, wait up!” I halted and couldn’t stop the small flutter in my tummy at the nickname he had given me. He started calling me it the day after the Kyle incident, but my flutter vanished quickly when he said, “Don’t go to that party tomorrow night.”

His sudden hard tone had me perplexed. “Why?”

“Because it’s not a good place for someone like you.”

I reared back, insulted and angry yet also hurt, but I made sure to swallow back the latter. “Someone like me?” I asked though clenched teeth.

“Shit, that came out wrong. That is not what I meant. I’m just saying…”

I put my hand up to silence him. “I’ll have you know, Ryder Jameson, that just because I am blind I’m not a complete invalid. I’m actually capable of a lot of things, and…”

“Damn it, Emily, that isn’t what I meant.”

“Really? Then enlighten me, what did you mean?”

He released a frustrated breath. “Look, I just meant that a lot of assholes go to these parties and…”

“Are you going?”

“What?” he asked, clearly caught off guard by the question.

“I said, are you going?”

He paused before answering. “I thought about it, yeah.”

“That’s what I thought. I guess I’ll see ya there… No pun intended,” I bit out before stalking off.

When I reflect back on it I guess it wasn’t fair of me to say, but I was hurt. I had hoped that he would have noticed how independent I am, but a lot of people don’t, they only see a blind girl. Which is okay, I know they just don’t understand it. I do believe his concern was genuine and he was probably just looking out for me, which was sweet. But now all I want to do is show up at this party and prove to him that I could be a part of something like this. And if I was being honest, I wanted to prove it to myself too.

“We’re here,” Cece announces excitedly, pulling me from my thoughts. We both get out of the car and she comes over right away to link arms with me. “Don’t worry, girl, I got your back and I won’t leave you.”

“You can come and go as you please. I don’t need a babysitter,” My tone is a bit harsher than I intended it to be.

Her step falters. “My aren’t we touchy tonight,” she replies, not really sounding offended, “but you’re right, you don’t need a sitter. I will get you familiar with the surroundings then I’ll mingle on my own if you don’t want to come. You have your phone if you need me.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, feeling guilty now for being touchy.

“You’re welcome,” she responds before kissing my cheek. Even if we don’t agree on a lot of things, she really does have a good heart and I am very lucky to have her as my friend.

“And may I just say how stunning you look tonight.”

I scoff. “Yeah, I’ll just bet I look all sorts of sexy with my sunglasses on at night.”

“I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can…” We both burst out laughing at Cece’s horrendous voice singing the popular eighties song. “Okay, all joking aside you do look beautiful. I’m telling you, girl, you are rocking that dress.”

“Thanks, Cece,” I respond thickly, my heart warming at her compliment. “I’m sure you look beautiful too.”

“Yup, I sure do.” We both giggle at her not-so-subtle modesty.

Once we reach the sand we toe off our sandals and start across the beach to where I hear nothing but chaos. Music thumps loudly through the air, laughter and shouts from both males and females fill the night. I know the moment we reach the party because I instantly feel bodies surround me, knocking into me.

My heart begins to pound with anxiety, but I quickly tamp it down and take a deep breath. You can do this, Emily. You are more than capable. Just breathe and tone your senses down. It’s something I have to tell myself often when I’m around a crowd. Being blind, my other senses are very heightened to make up for what I lack. Which means I am extremely attuned to my surroundings and sensitive to people’s energies, it can become overwhelming if I don’t ground myself.

Cece walks me around the party, letting me get a feel for the surroundings. A few people greet me and I’m able to figure out who most of them are by the sound of their voice, though it’s a little tricky with all the noise.

After getting drinks we settle by the fire, but it isn’t long before Cece is off doing her own thing. Which unfortunately leaves me alone next to Jimmy Newman. Don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and all, but sometimes a little too nice. It seems he always has to touch you when he talks to you.

I was surprised to hear he and his friends would be here. Mainly because I’ve always been told we never mingle, but Cece says that doesn’t count for the beach parties. That only counts when the parties are at someone’s house. Our side doesn’t go to theirs and they don’t come to ours, but this is mutual territory. I personally think the whole thing is ridiculous, but I gave up trying to understand any of that nonsense a long time ago.

I feel Jimmy sloppily sling an arm around my shoulder, and get a whiff of his beer breath. “Ya know, Emily, you’re cool. You’re not stuck up like the rest of the bitches that come from your side.”

I bite back an amused smile. “Er, thanks. I guess.”

“And you’re pretty too. Even with your sunglasses on.”

I giggle at his slurred words and shake my head. I’m just about to throw his arm off me when I suddenly feel a large presence looming over us. A strong, masculine scent penetrates my senses, mixing in with the ocean breeze, and makes my heart skip a beat. I instantly know who it is by my body’s reaction.

Jimmy’s arm suddenly vanishes from around my shoulders. “Uh… I’ll catch you later, Emily.”

I put my hand out to stop him from leaving. “You don’t have to leave, Jimmy.” I tell him firmly, knowing Ryder’s presence is making him want to tuck tale and run.

“Uh…”

“Actually, he does.” Ryder’s hard, bossy tone grates on my nerves. It also makes me feel something else, something I don’t want to acknowledge.

Before I can argue further, Jimmy is already gone. I tilt my head up to the person in front of me. “Ryder,” I greet, not hiding my annoyance. “I’m surprised you’re here. Although I guess I shouldn’t be. You did say lots of assholes come to these sort of things.” Oh that was a good one, Emily. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling at my witty greeting.

I hear him grunt before I feel him sit beside me. Oh heck. My heart falters, and the heat of his body engulfs mine, warming me more than the fire does. Damn traitorous body.

“I guess that means you’re still pissed at me.”

“Nope.” I lie. “I appreciate your warning, but as you can see I am getting along here just fine, blind and all. I didn’t even walk into the fire.”

I feel him watch me, a long moment of silence stretching out between us. “I didn’t mean it how you took it, Em.”

I soften at his sincere tone and the use of my nickname. “Actually, you did, but it’s okay. I’m used to it and I do know that your concern was genuine.”

“No, you’re wrong. I wasn’t talking about your blindness, I was talking about your innocence.”

I falter, not understanding what he means. “Come again?”

I hear him release a deep breath. “I was talking about your innocence. Something that many of the assholes here would take advantage of, if given half the chance. And the thought of that shit with Kyle happening to you again makes me fucking insane. It had nothing to do with your sight.”

I think about his answer and guilt instantly plagues me. “I’m sorry for assuming differently, but the same goes for this reason as the last. Innocent or not, I am capable of taking care of myself. I know it doesn’t seem that way because of what happened with Kyle, but I really am smart about the choices I make and I try to avoid putting myself in a situation where that could happen.” I feel him watch me again, the cackling of the flames seeming louder as I wait for him to say something.

“Leave here with me.”

“Huh?” I ask, thinking I misunderstood him.

“I want to take you somewhere.”

My heart speeds up with excitement at the thought. “Where?”

“It’s a quiet place where I like to go at night. It’s not far from here.”

This is one of those situations I try to be smart about and avoid, but I’d be lying if I said the idea wasn’t completely captivating. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to get to know him better.

“I would never hurt you, Emily. Despite what you may have heard,” he adds quietly, mistaking my silence for something else.

“I know you wouldn’t.” And it’s true. Despite everything I’ve heard, I know in my heart he wouldn’t hurt me, actually, if anything, I feel safe with him. Which is why I don’t waste another second thinking about it. “Okay, I’ll go with you.”

Grabbing my hand, he stands and pulls me up with him. The warmth from his simple touch shoots all the way up my arm like a bolt of electricity.

“I need to let Cece know.”

“We will look for her on our way to my bike. Do you have your phone? Can you call her or leave her a message?” I nod then follow his lead as he tugs on my hand. He slows his strides when I have a hard time keeping up. I am not a fast walker.

“So, uh, we are going on your bike?” I ask cautiously. The entire thought is both nerve wracking and exciting. I’ve never been on one before.

“Yeah. You aren’t dressed for it but we won’t be riding for long, and I’ll give you my jacket.”

“Oh, that’s okay, you can keep it. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He grunts, clearly not agreeing.

The noise from the party gets further away, and when we don’t run into Cece I pull out my cell and send her a voice message. “Hey, Cece, it’s me. Listen, um, I’m leaving the party with Ryder, so don’t worry about a ride home for me. Have fun and I’ll talk to you later.” I drop my phone back in my purse and know she is going to be pissed. Like really pissed.

We come to a stop, where I’m assuming Ryder’s bike is, when suddenly I feel something warm envelop me. I instantly know it’s his jacket from the amazing scent that surrounds me. “It’s really okay. The night is warm, I’m sure I will be fine.”

“You’re wearing the jacket, Emily,” he responds sharply, his tone brooking no argument.

Well geez, he doesn’t have to be so bossy about it. I startle out of my thoughts and gasp when I feel him try to put something over my head.

He freezes. “Sorry, I should have warned you. It’s just my helmet.”

I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment then nod my permission. The helmet is heavier than I expected and it encloses most of my face. “Here, I’ll flip the visor up since you have glasses on.” I feel my face heat once again, knowing how stupid I must look with sunglasses on in the dark. Once he flips the visor up I feel a lot more air on my face and don’t feel so confined. I lift my chin as I feel him fiddle with the strap.

“I’ll bet this looks killer with my outfit,” I joke, trying to imagine how silly this all must look with my yellow, strapless sundress.

“Oh, Emily, you have no fucking idea.”

Whoa. All the oxygen suddenly gets sucked out of my lungs from his rough, husky voice. I have a feeling our ideas of what constitutes a killer outfit are completely different.

“Come here,” he commands before grabbing both of my hands and placing them on the seat of the bike. I feel him lean in closer to me. “Now take this leg,” he whispers in my ear and softly touches my left leg, causing a shiver to flow through my whole body, “and swing it over the seat.”

I follow his instruction and lift my leg high enough to swing it over the soft leather. His hands move to my hips in a firm grip then lifts me just enough to push me back on the seat. Oh lord that was hot. I hear him clear his throat before getting on in front of me. I sit with my hands on my lap, not knowing where I am supposed to place them.

“Baby, you better hold on to me or you’re going to fly off this bike.”

Baby? My stomach does a flip at the endearment. I have never been called that before, but boy do I like it. I quickly shake myself from my thoughts when I realize he’s waiting for me to follow instruction. Get a grip, Emily. Awkwardly, I slide my hands up his back, and don’t miss the toned definition of muscle I pass before finding my place on his broad shoulders.

As soon as he starts up the bike, the loud rumble and massive vibration has me sucking in a sharp breath and quickly moving my arms down to wrap tightly around his stomach. I feel him shake with laughter, and it makes me want to slap him. My heart begins to pound wildly in my chest and I start thinking this isn’t such a good idea after all. “Ryder, I’m not sure I want to do this anymore. I’m really scared.”

His laughter stops abruptly at the fear in my voice. “I’ve got you, Emily, I promise. Just hold on and you’ll be okay. If you hate it, just yell at me and I’ll stop. Okay?”

I take a deep breath and nod. “Okay.”

I feel him shift, and when the bike kicks forward I let out a squeal and grip him as tight as humanly possible. Oh god. My heart rate escalates to a whole new level when I feel us turn onto the highway and we pick up speed.

Adrenaline rushes through every part of my body as a million sensations plague me at once. Taking another deep breath I calm my thundering heart, and it’s not long before I let go of my fear and let myself feel. The fast wind on my face is invigorating, the smell of the earth around us is refreshing, and the feel of my body against Ryder’s hard, warm one is, well… I am not sure there is a word for it. The entire experience is both terrifying and exhilarating, but more the latter. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like experiencing the world in a whole new way. It’s a sense of freedom I have never felt before, a freedom I have desperately craved for so long.

“You doing okay, Em?” Ryder’s question is muffled from the whipping wind, and it isn’t until he asks that I realize I have the biggest smile on my face.

“Yes. Go faster,” I yell bravely. My heart jumps in my throat when he speeds up and I belt out a giggle, loving the rush. I soak in everything about this moment, not wanting it to ever end, but unfortunately, a few minutes later, I feel us slow. We lean slightly to the left as Ryder turns into our destination and comes to a stop.

He shuts off the bike and sits for a moment. “Em?”

“Yeah?” I breathe out softly, a huge smile gracing my face.

“You need to let go.” His voice is laced with amusement and I realize I still have a death grip on him.

“Oh sorry.” I apologize with a giggle then wince at how stiff I am from holding him so tight.

I instantly miss his warmth as he climbs off. “Was it as scary as you thought it was going to be?” he asks as he takes my hand and helps me from the bike.

I feel my smile grow bigger as he works the straps under my chin and removes the helmet. “Yes, but it was also incredible. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life and I can’t wait to do it again.” I quickly realize how presumptuous that sounds of me. “I mean, uh… I just meant if I ever get the chance to go again that is.” Oh god, Emily, just shut up. I blow out a heavy breath, feeling like a complete idiot.

I feel him lean in close to me, his breath lightly grazing my ear. “I’ll take you for a ride anytime you want to, Emily, all you have to do is ask.”

My mouth goes dry and my body becomes hyperaware from how close he is, the night air suddenly thick with tension. Before I can respond he tugs on my hand, leading me forward. “Where are we?” I ask as I follow his direction.

“A place I like coming to when I want to be alone. It’s a cliff that overlooks the city.” I feel him stop and turn to me. “Are you warm?”

“Yes,” I answer, wondering what’s with the sudden question.

He removes his jacket from me then places it on the ground for me to sit on. I feel him take the spot next to me a second later and have to restrain myself from leaning into him like I so desperately want to.

Raising my knees, I wrap my arms around them then listen to the soft sounds of the night and feel the warm evening breeze whisper over every inch of my bare skin. “Describe to me what we’re looking at, Ryder.”

It takes him a moment to answer. “The clear sky above us is dark and covered in stars. Way off in the distance are thousands of lights from homes and buildings that light up the entire city. It looks like we are a world away, rather than minutes.”

It sounds beautiful and I try really hard to imagine what we are looking at but can’t. “Can you picture it?” he asks, as if reading my thoughts.

“No. I was so young when I lost my sight that it’s hard to remember what things looked like, or if it looks the same as what I remember.”

“You used to be able to see?” There is a note of surprise in his voice.

“Yes.” Silence stretches out between us, and I know he’s curious but won’t ask. “Have you ever heard of conversion disorder?”

“No.”

“It’s a psychological disorder that’s caused by severe emotional trauma. There can be a few side effects from it. Paralysis can be one and so is blindness. Obviously in my case, I’m the latter,” I pause briefly. “One morning, when I was seven years old, my father found me unconscious in the woods that surround our plantation. We have a small wishing well, actually it’s just a well but I call it a wishing well, anyway,” I wave my hand realizing that isn’t important, “I often used to sneak out of my bedroom at night and go to it. That night I couldn’t sleep because my father was hosting one of his political parties, so I snuck out of my room and started walking there. The next thing I remember is waking up and being surrounded by darkness.” I pause again and nervously clear my throat. “The doctors say I saw something in the woods that night. Something that terrified me enough that it put me into hysterics, but I don’t remember anything.”

“Jesus,” he mutters, which makes me wonder what he’s thinking.

When he says nothing else, I continue, “Intense psychotherapy or hypnosis could potentially unblock my mind, but my parents said they tried it when I was very young and I ended up in the hospital for a few days.”

He’s silent while trying to absorb everything I’ve just said. “Wait, so this is a psychological disorder? There isn’t anything wrong with your eyes?”

“Right.”

“So what’s with the sunglasses then?”

I tense. “What?”

“If there is nothing wrong with your eyes then why do you wear the sunglasses?”

I take a moment to think how I should answer then decide with the truth. “Because my mother forces me to. She finds it embarrassing that I can’t always keep my eyes focused and stop them from wandering. It’s one of the stipulations if I leave the house, I must wear them at all times, and…” I gasp in alarm when he suddenly snatches my sunglasses off, and I quickly turn my face away before he can see. “Ryder, what are you doing?”

“Let me see, Em.”

I shake my head, panic flooding my system as I think about him seeing the ugly parts of me. Worrying that he will see what my mother sees and be disgusted like her. “Please give me back my glasses,” I plead with a note of hysteria in my voice.

I feel him move in front of me and I quickly close my eyes before feeling his warm hands frame my face. “Open your eyes, Emily.”

“Ryder, please don’t do this.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

I don’t want to voice it, don’t want to tell him it’s my biggest insecurity, thanks to my mother. I swallow past the sudden burn in my throat. “Only a very few people have seen them.”