Текст книги "Beautifully Insightful"
Автор книги: K.C. Lynn
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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 20 страниц)
Emily
I stare at the man who broke my heart all those years ago. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he walked back in, only to be slapped in the face again. Hurt, fury, betrayal and a big dose of utter disbelief at this entire situation storms inside of me. I feel close to breaking, but I keep myself in check. I refuse to let him see how much he has hurt me for a second time.
“I was planning on telling you.”
I scoff, not believing a word he says. “Before or after you fucked me?”
His jaw flexes in anger. “Before. I had planned to tell you everything when we got back here.”
“How convenient.”
“What do you expect, Emily? I haven’t seen you in six years, I couldn’t tell you until I knew where you stood with your parents. This is a big fucking deal. A lot of people’s lives are at stake over this. I had to make sure I could trust you!”
“What I expect would have been for you to keep your fucking hands to yourself and not pretend to care about me!” Just thinking about the way he touched me only a few hours earlier has my stomach twisting.
“Em, baby, listen. I…”
“Don’t call me that! I don’t care what you have to say. Leave now!”
“I am not fucking leaving you. Not until…”
“Why not? You did before.” Guilt flashes in his eyes, but I don’t fall for it and I finally ask the one question that has been burning inside of me since seeing him again. “Did you take the money?”
His eyes narrow dangerously. “What the fuck do you think?”
I swallow thickly and try to keep my voice level. “For six years I said no, but now I don’t know. I don’t know you at all. I don’t think I ever did.”
“Bullshit!” he yells. “You goddamn know me and you know I didn’t take that fucking money!”
“No, I don’t! I don’t know anything anymore! You left and you never came back!” My pain becomes evident and I can’t hold back my tears any longer. “I told you I loved you. How could you just leave me like that?”
I watch his jaw flex as he tries to reign in whatever he’s feeling. “You forget that I asked you to come with me, Emily, and you said no.”
Anger begins to override my hurt. “That is not fair and you know it! I was seventeen, with no money and blind. I had nothing…”
“I would have fucking taken care of you! I would have never let anything happen to you.”
“I didn’t want you to take care of me!” I scream back. “I didn’t want to be a burden. You had your entire future laid out for you and my needs would have only held you back, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I also didn’t think I would never see you again!” My breath hitches as I think back to the most heart wrenching time in my life. “I waited for hours at the well the next day, only to be met by my father. I was left alone in trying to defend our relationship, only to have him tell me he paid you off and you accepted the money graciously.”
“He fucking lied to you. He threatened Hector and his family; he said he would shut down his business or worse. I was told if I stayed you were in danger too. I was only seventeen, I couldn’t fucking protect you all! I did what I had to do to keep you safe. But if you think I left easily, Emily, you’re wrong!”
“You didn’t even say goodbye,” I whisper brokenly. He takes a step toward me but I hold my hand up to keep him back. I can’t let him touch me or I will cave, and I can’t. Not again.
He expels a frustrated breath. “I couldn’t fucking say goodbye. It was too hard. If I saw you again or heard your voice I wouldn’t have left.”
That has my temper flaring all over again. “Well I’m glad you made it easier for you! Meanwhile I was left to ponder, what happened to the boy I fell in love with. Did he take the money? Did he use me? Was my father right and I was just a piece of ass to him? But as long as it was easier on you, then by all means, I’m glad you left without so much as an explanation!”
“What do you want me to fucking say? That I made a mistake by not telling you? Fine, let’s play it where I did come and say goodbye, but then I couldn’t fucking leave you. Where would Hector be now? Where would we be? Look at what he’s capable of, Emily. It’s worse than I thought, but I’m not some fucking helpless kid anymore and I am going to fucking bring him down for all of it!”
I stare back at the hatred in his eyes and realize this is revenge for him. I have no doubt he cares about what’s happening to these girls, and wants to bring them justice, but this is about him and my father. I’m just his foot in the door. I shake my head not having anything left, my heart at its breaking point. “I will help you and Nick,” I whisper, needing to wrap this up before I completely lose it in front of him.
He releases a breath. “Thank you.”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for the girls. I’m done with your games, Ryder. I’m just… done with all of it.” With that parting comment I quickly walk away and ignore him when he tries calling me back. Once I’m in the privacy of my room, I let the dam break free. I turn my face into my pillow to keep my sobs silent. Summer jumps up next to me and curls into my body, her nose rubbing against my wet cheek. I wrap my arm around her and hold her close, soaking in her comfort. It isn’t long until exhaustion grips ahold of me and I succumb to it, not wanting to feel the pain anymore.
Chapter 14
Ryder
The next morning I lie awake on the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever slept on, my mind running with doubt and my chest painfully tight since my fight with Emily last night.
I told you I loved you. How could you just leave me like that?
I didn’t sleep worth a shit, unable to get her heartbroken expression out of my head. I thought once she knew the truth about what happened all those years ago she would understand, but I hurt her more than I realized, especially by not saying goodbye. I’m not surprised her old man said I took the money, I figured he would and, to be honest, a part of me hoped she would have believed it. Because it would have been easier to have her hate me than love me, but she knew I didn’t take it. She always saw more in me than anyone else. Which only makes me feel more like shit.
I doubted my decision all night, but every time I thought about what would have happened if I’d stayed, I know it was the right thing to do. But I should have said goodbye to her. No matter how hard it would have been she deserved an explanation, and it’s a decision I will regret for the rest of my life.
I hear movement down the hall again, like I have for the last hour. She woke up to have a shower first thing, and I couldn’t help but picture her under the hot spray. It took every ounce of control I possessed not to go in there, bend her over and do what I have been aching to do since seeing her again. Hell, what I have wanted to do with her for the last six years. I haven’t dated anyone else in the time I have been gone. Fucked – yes, dated – no, and even fucking was never satisfying, because they didn’t smell like Emily, or taste like her, and they didn’t feel like her.
This case might have been what brought me back, but it doesn’t change the fact that from the moment I saw her again I knew I still loved her. She’s the only person I’ve ever loved. I understand she’s pissed right now, but I am not going to give up on her. I will make her forgive me and prove to her that she’s mine, that she has always been mine.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, I decide to get up and make a pot of coffee. Grabbing my jeans from the floor, I put them on then look at my bloody shirt and decide to forgo it. I shoot Stone a quick text, asking him to stop by my room and grab some clothes for me. I plan to stick to Emily like fucking glue until this shit is solved. There is too much of it surrounding her, and too many unanswered questions. My gut is telling me that this case entwines with her somehow.
Heading into the kitchen, I start going through her cupboards, looking for the coffee maker. I notice everything looks strategically placed, and I quickly realize that it would be from when she was blind. I make sure not to mess with her set-up, and finally find what I’m looking for in the last cupboard. When I close the door I see Emily standing in the entryway, freshly showered, looking incredibly fuckable in a pair of white designer jean shorts that showcase her sexy, toned legs and a pale blue tank that enhances her exotic ice blue eyes. The tightness in my chest increases when I catch sight of her swollen, puffy eyes. I get the urge to wrap her in my arms but I know she won’t welcome it. “Hey, Em.”
“Hey,” she responds softly. Her eyes roam over my shirtless body then focus on my bandage. “Are you sure you shouldn’t get that looked at?”
“No, it’s fine.”
She mumbles something intangible, clearly not believing me, then walks up and rips the coffee pot from my hand. “Just go sit down and I’ll make it.”
“I can do it.”
“Just go sit down.” She pushes against my chest with more force than I thought her capable of, but before she can remove her hand I encircle her wrist and pull her to me.
She gasps in surprise and stares up at me hesitantly. Moving her hand so it lays over my beating heart, I cup her face with my other, and trace my thumb under her puffy eye. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes turn glassy and she tries turning her face away, but I don’t let her. “I mean it, Em, I’m sorry.”
“For what part?” she asks, her tone barely above a whisper.
“For every part that hurt you, but most of all for not saying goodbye. I’m going to make it up to you though, I promise.”
She watches me, a long moment of silence stretching between us. “Some things can’t be taken back.” Her voice cracks and a single tear slips past the corner of her eye.
Leaning in, I catch it with my lips and hear her breath catch. “You’re right, some times they can’t be, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. This case may be what brought me back, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you, what I have always felt for you. No matter how long it takes, Em, I will not give up,” I tell her truthfully, making sure she knows where I stand. Her gaze is watery and mistrustful. I know she doesn’t believe me, not yet, but I didn’t really expect her to. Giving her one last kiss at the corner of her eye, I decide to back off and go take a seat at the table.
She goes back to filling the coffee pot, and I don’t miss the tremble of her hand. I watch her move around the kitchen with precision and notice her grab for things without even looking, knowing exactly what her hand will encounter. She clears her throat, pulling me from my thoughts. “So when are you leaving to get your vehicle and go back to your hotel?”
“I’m not.” Her gaze snaps to mine in surprise. “I was serious, Emily, when I said I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying glued to your fucking side until this case is solved.” If I have my way I won’t be leaving her side ever.
“Well that’s impossible. You can’t come with me to work, and…”
“You can’t go to work.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Of course I can.”
“No, you can’t. It’s not safe for you to be anywhere without me.”
She gapes at me aghast. “Ryder, I work at a rehabilitation clinic with children. Not…”
“Exactly! After what happened last night do you want to risk bullets flying at them?”
I feel like an asshole when her face pales. “No, of course not, but you don’t even know if what happened last night has to do with me.”
“No, I don’t, but I intend to find out soon.”
“And how are you going to do that?”
“There’s a reason why I left my vehicle at the theatre last night.”
She frowns. “Why?”
“Because when the cops run the plates they will be able to track me down.” She continues to stare at me in confusion, not understanding my intention. “Witnesses saw us flee the scene. Any cop in their right mind is going to find out why. If they don’t come asking questions then I know it’s being kept quiet and they aren’t seeking us out for a reason.”
She pours both of us a cup of coffee while mulling over what I just said then walks over and puts mine down in front of me. “I just can’t believe my father is capable of any of this. I know he’s vindictive, but to sexually assault young girls? To want me dead? I’m his child, Ryder, he may not love me but I’m still his daughter.”
Her voice catches and she turns to walk away, but I grab her hips before she can and bring her down on my lap. I wrap my arms tightly around her so she can’t escape. “I know this must be hard to accept, Em, even if you aren’t close to him. Maybe I’m wrong about the shooting. I guess we’ll find out by how it’s handled, but I’m not willing to risk it, I’m not willing to risk you. So until this is over I’m not leaving your side.”
I hear her sniffle as she swipes at her cheeks. “I can’t stop thinking about those girls. I feel sick to think he could do that to them, that anyone could. And does my mother know? Would she even care? Some days I think she’s worse than he is.”
“I don’t see how she couldn’t know, she must at least suspect something.” She shakes her head and I feel her back tremble from crying. I decide to stay quiet and just hold her, knowing there is nothing I can say to make this better. It feels really goddamn good to hold her like this; I just wish it were under different circumstances.
A few minutes pass before she speaks again. “So what’s the plan? And what do I tell people about you?”
“You tell them the truth, except leave out the part that I’m an FBI Agent.”
She tries making sense of that. “How am I supposed to tell them the truth if I can’t say you’re an FBI Agent?”
“You tell them everything else.” I hold her closer and bring my mouth to her ear. “You tell them I’m a part of your life again and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Since when is that the truth?” She means to be sassy but her tone is soft and unsure.
“Since the day I came back, and everyone is going to know it, including your parents.”
She stiffens. “Don’t, Ryder. I told you I would help you, but I won’t let you use me just to piss my father off as part of your revenge.”
She tries escaping from my arms but I hold her tighter. “This has nothing to do with pissing your father off. This has to do with taking back what was taken from me, Emily, and that’s you. You are fucking mine, you have always been mine, and I’m not going to let anyone get in my way from getting it back – including you.”
She keeps silent and I know it’s because she doubts every word I just said. Sweeping her hair to one side, I press a kiss to her bare shoulder and watch goose bumps break out over her soft skin. “Say it, baby,” I whisper, placing another kiss, but this time to her slender neck. “Tell me, you’re mine.” Her breathing turns erratic and the room becomes thick with tension. Right when I think I have gotten through to her, and things are about to take a turn in my favor, I hear the front door fly open.
“Emily?” I instantly recognize the Mexican lady’s voice.
Fuck, what bad timing.
Emily immediately jumps up. “I’m in the kitchen, Rosa.”
Rosa comes rushing in and pulls Emily into her arms. “Oh, honey, are you all right?” she asks, her voice thick with worry, clearly knowing about last nights events.
“Yes, I’m okay.”
She cups Emily’s face and inspects it before turning to me. She takes in my shirtless state and bandaged ribs, and if looks could kill I would be ten feet under right now.
“You!” She spits my name accusingly before grabbing the dishtowel off the sink and starts slapping the shit out of me with it. “I told you to leave my girl out of this!”
Emily gasps in horror then tries reaching for the dishtowel while I’m blocking the soft blows from my face. “No, Rosa, stop! This isn’t Ryder’s fault.”
“Oh yes it is!” she argues, continuing to hit me. I finally get a good grip on the towel and rip it from her, but that doesn’t stop her from one last blow. With her bare hand she slaps my arm hard enough that I swear she leaves a fucking imprint. Jesus, she’s a feisty one.
“Really, Rosa, it’s not Ryder’s fault. He saved my life.”
“It is his fault!” She exclaims while pointing a finger at me. “You don’t listen! I told you this would happen!”
Emily looks back and forth between us, her face pinched in confusion. “What do you mean you told him this would happen? What are you talking about?” Realization quickly dawns on her expression. “Is this what you guys were arguing about the other day? Does she know who you really are? Is there anything I haven’t been lied to about?” she asks hurtfully.
“No, she doesn’t know. It’s not what you’re thinking, Em. It’s…” I get cut off when the sound of the door flies opens again. Jesus, don’t people fucking knock around here?
“Emily! Where are you? We need to talk to you right now!” The cold and demanding female tone has me tensing.
Emily glances over at me nervously. “It’s my parents,” she mouths before rushing into the living room.
Rosa follows close behind her, looking terrified as hell. I decide to stay where I am for now, and wait to see what they want.
“Were you ever going to tell us that you were at the scene of a crime last night?” I hear her mother ask snidely, sounding as big of a bitch as I figured she was.
“How did you find out already?”
“Cece told her father after your phone call to her this morning, then Paul called your father. He figured he had a right to know.”
I’ll bet the motherfucker already knew.
“I was planning on telling you. It happened late last night and I’m fine. I…”
“We weren’t worried if you were fine.”
My blood heats at not only the asshole comment, but at the sound of her father’s voice again after all this time.
I hear Em sigh. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t be.”
“Oh stop the pity party, Emily!”
Okay, fuck this! Her mother’s words have me standing.
“You need to pack your stuff, you’re moving back home immediately!” her father demands.
“Like hell she is.” Everyone’s gaze snaps to me as I enter the room. Emily watches me in trepidation, her mother stares at me in shock, but it quickly morphs to disapproval as she looks me up and down, taking in my half-naked state. I have to admit it’s awkward not having a shirt on for this, but I don’t let it deter me.
Ignoring everyone else in the room for the moment, I focus on the one person I have hated for so long, the one who took away the only thing I’ve ever loved.
“Mr. Jameson, we meet again,” he greets calmly, but there is no denying the silent fury in his eyes.
“Unfortunately.” I walk over to Emily and pull her against me. “You all right, baby?”
“Yes,” she responds quietly.
Her mother harrumphs. “This is a family matter, both you and Rosa need to leave.”
“No, they don’t,” Emily cuts in angrily. “Rosa is a part of this family, and…”
“It’s all right, Miss Emily. I should be going anyway. I just wanted to stop in and make sure you were all right. Call me later, sweetheart.” She walks over and gives her a quick kiss then glances at Emily’s father cautiously on her way to the door. “I will see you on Thursday for the dinner party, sir.”
He nods while Emily’s mother glares at her until she’s out the door. “It’s ridiculous how that woman babies you.”
“She does not, and you had no right to kick her out of my house.”
“This isn’t your house,” her father cuts in. “It belongs to a business associate of mine and I pay for it.”
“Only because you enforced it. I didn’t want your money then and I still don’t. I can live somewhere else off my own income.”
“Stop being ungrateful!” her mother snaps. “We weren’t about to let you go slumming, but it looks like you did anyway.” She sneers and flickers a disapproving glance my way, making her intention loud and clear.
I smirk, letting her know I don’t give a shit what she thinks, but her words piss Emily off. “Don’t talk about him like that. If all you did was come here to fight then you can leave.”
“We came here because you are coming back home with us,” her father says again.
“No, I’m not.”
He points his finger at her. “I warned you yesterday, and you didn’t listen. The decision was made the moment you sent Kyle alone to that dinner last night.”
“And I told you I will have nothing to do with him. I am twenty-four-years-old, you can’t force me to live with you and you can’t force me to see Kyle.”
“I can and I will!”
I’m just about to intervene and tell the asshole to back off when Emily lets out a frustrated huff and moves toward the door. I see him reach for her but I intercept him just before he can grab her arm. I push him hard enough that he stumbles back into the wall. Her mother gasps but I don’t take my eyes off him.
“Don’t you put your fucking hands on her.”
He straightens from the wall, shock and rage contorting his expression. “If I were you, Mr. Jameson, I’d remember who you are dealing with. What I said six years ago hasn’t changed.”
“Wrong, old man, a lot has changed. For one, I’m not a helpless kid anymore.”
He smirks. “Yes, Emily said something about you having money now, and being successful. I’m glad to know my check helped get you there.”
I start toward him, my temper spiking hot and fast. “You’re a fucking liar and she knows it.”
Emily jumps in front of me and puts a shaking hand on my chest. “Ryder, please. He’s only trying to bait you.” She turns back to her father. “Leave, now! Ryder is a part of my life again, whether you like it or not, and I meant what I said yesterday – if you can’t respect that then don’t contact me again.”
He stares back at her furiously. “We aren’t done here, Emily.”
“Yes, you are, now get the fuck out before I throw you out!”
I start thinking I’m going to have to do exactly that, but thankfully the prick comes to his senses. “Let’s go, Caroline.”
Emily’s mother follows him out the door but then turns around for one final blow. “You have always been nothing but an embarrassment, but this, Emily, is…” Before the bitch can finish I slam the door in her face.
Turning around, I see Emily staring at me, her hands on either side of her pale face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you just put your hands on my father like that.”
I’m trying to tell if she’s mad or just shocked. “So do you think I blew my chance of getting invited over for supper?”
She stares at me incredulously then bursts out laughing, but it quickly trails off into a sob and she covers her face. “This is such a mess.”
Walking over, I pull her against me. “I know, baby, but I’m not sorry. I saw him reach for you and there was no way in hell I was going to let him touch you.”
She looks up at me, her pretty, ice blue eyes sad and scared. “That’s how mad he got at me yesterday. I’ve dealt with his anger before, but…” She trails off and shakes her head.
I think about the way her father went after her. “I need to ask you something, Em, and I want you to tell me the truth, no matter what.”
“All right,” she responds hesitantly, clearly nervous for what I’m about to ask.
“Has he ever hurt you before? I mean physically, in anyway.” I’m praying she says no, but something flickers in her eyes, something that tells me I’m not going to like what I’m about to hear.
“Just once – the day I waited for you at the well.”
A dangerous violence rushes through me, but I try really fucking hard to rein it in. “What did he do?”
She visibly swallows, and it takes her a moment to answer. “When he showed up and told me you took the money, I told him he was lying. It turned into a horrible fight. I refused to leave with him, because I said you would come, that you wouldn’t leave me.” A stark pain washes over her expression, the sight hitting me like a physical blow to the chest. “He grabbed my arm and tried dragging me into his car, but I refused to go. I was screaming for you, thinking you were going to come and he slapped me across the face, hard enough that it knocked me back. I didn’t even sense the blow coming and I never expected it because he had never hit me before.”
Guilt consumes me and I grind my teeth so hard from the pain in my chest that my jaw fucking aches. I frame her tear-streaked face between my hands and drop my forehead to hers. “I swear he’s going to fucking pay for this, Emily.”
Her breath catches as she struggles to speak. “The pain I felt from his hand was nothing compared to the agony in my chest at knowing you left and you were never coming back.”
Those words are almost enough to bring me to my knees. A sob escapes her as she pulls away from me and runs to her room. I let her go, frozen to my spot. For the first time since coming back, I fear that I’m not going to be able to fix this and I won’t get back the only girl who’s ever mattered to me.
