Текст книги "Following Me"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

DEVON SHUFFLED INTO Jenn’s Restaurant a full fifteen minutes late.  After her conversation with Garrett and those texts from Reid, she hadn’t been able to get herself together.  The only way she had guaranteed she wouldn’t respond to Reid’s messages was to leave her phone at home.  She had backtracked her steps and picked up her phone at least three times before tossing it back on her bed and leaving it there.  The last thing she wanted to do was thumb through her messages at work while Brennan was around.  They had too much to talk about tonight after work, and she didn’t want him to find out about Reid early.

She stood there as Jenn laid into her for being late.  Devon wasn’t sure how many more times she could apologize before Jenn would give up and send her out on the floor.

“Alright, I will be more aware of the time from now on,” Devon said.

“That’s right, you will,” Jenn grumbled.  “I need a drink.”

You’re not the only one, Devon thought.

“Brennan,” Jenn called, finally turning away from Devon, “I’m heading out and leaving you in charge.  The morning rush has died down, so I think it should be smooth sailing for the rest of the day.  If you need anything, call me.”

“Thanks, Jenn,” he said as she stormed out of the restaurant.

Brennan turned to Devon with a serious look on his face.  “You were late.”

“So were you,” she said.

“But I didn’t get caught.  So, don’t get caught next time,” he said, reaching out for her hand.

“Alright, boss.  Is that all?”  Her response was cheeky, but she couldn’t help it.

“I think Amy has the front covered for a bit.”  He tilted his head toward the break room.

Devon smiled, feeling the weight of the morning drama lift off her shoulders.  “I think she definitely has it taken care of,” she said, walking through the door.

Brennan looked around to make sure no one else was inside the room, not that it was a big restaurant with many employees or anything, and then he closed the door behind her.

His hands pushed up into her hair.  Tilting her face up to his, he planted his lips down on hers.  She gripped his shirt between her hands and pulled him closer to her.  He tasted slightly of alcohol, and she became dizzy with his touch as if she had been the one drinking.  He smelled good, fresh from a shower and she was glad that his scent wasn’t tainted with the smell of pot.  Actually, she couldn’t remember the last time that smell had been on him.

Never breaking contact, Brennan walked her backward into one of the lockers, and their bodies melded together.  It was all Devon could do to keep her mind focused on what they were doing instead of jumping a million steps ahead of where they were.  She wasn’t succeeding.

Devon clawed at his shirt, untucking it, as she pressed her hands against his flat, toned stomach.  The heat from his skin sent electricity coursing through her body, and the room suddenly felt stifling.  Her mind couldn’t register a time she had ever wanted something this much.  Maybe it was the knowledge that they were in a public place and could easily get caught, but mostly, she thought it was just Brennan.

He located the bottom of her skirt and hiked it up.  Grasping her thigh in his hand, he pulled it up to wrap around his hip.  Between kisses, her breath came out in short spurts as her hands roamed down to the hem of his jeans.  Devon felt so rushed, so clumsy that she snapped the waistline of his boxers.  Brennan grunted and pressed more firmly against her, like he had enjoyed it.  She continued running her fingers lightly along the inside of his boxers, just enough to tease him.

“Belle,” he whispered, not pulling back but not moving forward.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice strained.

“We have to work,” he said, like it pained him.

“Yeah.”  She would wait for him to make the first move.

“I can’t go out there like this,” he said, gesturing down.

Devon took the moment to look down, and when she saw what she did to him, her smile grew.  “Maybe…I should go first.”

He swallowed.  “Probably.  I’m going to need time to calm down or else we’re going to need to finish.”

She preferred the second option, and it must have been clearly written all over her face because he groaned and pressed his forehead against hers.

“Belle, you can’t look at me like that.”

“I’ll, uh…just go,” she said, easing away from him.

Brennan grabbed her one last time, pulling her in for a slow kiss before releasing her.  “You’re still coming to my place tonight, right?”

She smiled brightly.  “Yeah, definitely.”

“Good.”

His eyes roamed her body as she backed away from him.

DEVON EXITED THE break room and made sure her clothes were in good enough condition before she went out onto the floor.  Jenn was right; it was a pretty light crowd.  Amy was having no trouble with the few people in the restaurant.  Devon just figured it was slow because it was the weekend after the Fourth of July.  Most people wouldn’t be able to travel two weekends in a row.  Plus, the traffic from the sailboat race was concentrated in the morning and the evening.  She would probably get a rush tonight.

“About fucking time,” Amy grumbled when Devon walked up.  “Think you could be any later?”

“Probably,” Devon said with a shrug.

“I mean, was it not enough that you got yesterday off, too?” Amy snapped.

“Amy, lay off, alright?  I already got yelled at by Jenn and Brennan for this.”

“From Brennan? Riiight.”  Amy rolled her eyes.

So, that’s what this is about, she thought, realizing it was about Brennan.

“Yeah, they were both pretty pissed,” Devon told her.

“Well, maybe they’ll fire you.”

Devon gripped the menu she was holding as tightly as she could, so she wouldn’t snap back at Amy.  Could she get much bitchier?

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Devon said sarcastically.

Amy just rolled her eyes again and walked over to one of her tables.  Devon busied herself by rolling silverware, filling salt and pepper shakers, and wiping down the tables.  At some point, Brennan returned, and she smiled as she felt his eyes follow her around the room.  She wondered if he even knew that he did it so frequently.

The day passed with a steady flow of traffic.  It wasn’t anything that one person couldn’t handle on her own, but it was nice to have both Amy and Devon on the shift.  The dinner crowd was more obnoxious than normal, and Devon felt like punching one of the customers.  She even heard Amy swear at a guy who grabbed her ass.  Jenn’s wasn’t that kind of place.

Devon was more than irritated when she found the shitty tips from the rambunctious groups after they had exited the restaurant.  Amy was fuming across the room, and Devon suspected she had discovered the same problem with her tables.  What kind of assholes came in with a huge party, acted like hellions the whole time they were here, and then didn’t tip?  Who had raised them to do that?  Devon wanted to throttle them and explain to the worthless human beings that just because they had never worked a day in their life didn’t mean they couldn’t appreciate the hard work she had done for them.  But, of course, she couldn’t do that either.

“You go ahead and take a break.  You look like you need it,” Devon told Amy.

She didn’t want to do Amy any favors, but Amy had been there longer. Plus, it didn’t help Devon any to have everyone hate her.

“Thanks.  I need a fucking smoke,” Amy said, pressing her hand to her forehead.  “I’ll be back in fifteen.”

Devon watched Amy’s tables and kept Brennan busy with drink orders. Leaning forward, he kept offering her shots of tequila like the first time they had ever really talked.  Devon declined, but he just kept offering.

“Just one shot,” he whispered, pushing the drink toward her.

Devon shook her head.  “Not on the clock.  Give it to Amy.  She will flip her shit.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Oh, don’t play dumb.  That girl is obsessed with you.”

Devon giggled as Brennan poured the rest of her drink orders.

“What?  No, she isn’t,” he said.

“Brennan, really?  You are not oblivious to the world.  You have to know that her and Hannah are so into you.”

“Huh,” he said, his eyes going deep into thought.  “That explains a whole hell of a lot.”

Devon rolled her eyes.  “How did you not see that?”

“Only have eyes for you, Belle.” He smirked, placing a drink on her tray.

Her stomach flipped as she picked up the tray.  She made a round of her and Amy’s tables.  Amy returned ten minutes past her allotted fifteen minutes with the smell of smoke announcing her presence.  She didn’t apologize for her tardiness, and Devon suspected it was because she had been late earlier.

“Your turn,” Amy said with a shrug.

“Thanks,” Devon said.

Devon walked past Brennan into the back and took a seat on the bench.  She sighed and stretched out her aching legs, lying back on the bench.  She yawned and let her mind wander back to this morning when she had awoken in just a tangle of limbs.  Being with Brennan was the only thing that had allowed her to forget her old life.  She had tried to push back the memories, but they haunted her no matter how hard she had tried.  When Brennan had walked into her life, all of that changed.

When she heard the door creak open, she shifted up to her elbows to see Brennan walking in.

“Hey,” he said with a charming smile.

“Hey.”

“Came in here to check on you.  It was a bit of a madhouse out there for a while.”

He walked over and sat on the end of the bench.  She scooted down and rested her head on his thigh.

“It was.  I’m ready to go home,” she said with a yawn.  “Someone kept me up late last night.”

“Not late enough,” he said, running his hands through her hair.

Devon chuckled and closed her eyes as he worked his magic at untangling the knots.  He calmed her down, and she could have lain there all night.  Everything was so natural and easy with Brennan.

She exhaled softly.  “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”  His hand pulled back through her loose strands.

“I’ve been wondering about this since you told me, but I don’t want it to sound weird,” she said, her hands fiddling with the buttons on her white shirt.

“Nothing is weird between us,” he said.

“I just…well…your dad left you with money, right?”  She felt weird for asking.

Brennan tensed and stilled his hand.  “Uh, yeah.”

“Then, um…why do you live in a small one bedroom, take the L, and work as a bartender?” she asked, her words coming out in a rush.

She didn’t want to sound snooty because that wasn’t her intention.  But if his dad had worked at Northwestern Memorial for thirty years as a doctor, then he was likely well-off.  Why wouldn’t Brennan use any of that money?

“Oh,” was all he said.

“I don’t mean to sound like I like you any less because of it.  I don’t!  I don’t care about those things.  I like those things,” she added hastily.  “I was mostly curious.”

“Well, truth is…I don’t like money,” he said with a stilted laugh.

“You don’t like…money,” she repeated.

“I don’t know.  I do.  I just…it was his money.  Everything I buy with it reminds me that he’s gone.”

Devon sat up, so she could look at him.  The pain was clear on his face, and she was sorry that she had brought it up.  She took his hand and held it in her own.

“I don’t mind the things he owned, like the boat.  Those are happy memories, but the house…”  He shuddered.  “I couldn’t live in that house.”

“He left you a house?”  She wasn’t sure why she even asked, but she didn’t know what else to say.

The more he talked, the more she wondered why she had asked at all.  He sounded so sad.

“Yeah.  I didn’t know what to do with it, so I just left it as is.  It’s probably dusty.  Sometimes, I go over there to mow the lawn the way he liked it, but that’s as far as I can get,” he said.  “I bought the apartment after that.  I try to keep it all low-key and live the way I used to live before it happened.”

“That has to be hard,” she said, her thumb drawing circles on his hand.

“I’ve survived.”

“Glad I can be here…so you’re not just surviving anymore.”  She pulled him in for a hug.

“With you, I’m living,” he whispered, kissing her head.

She leaned her head back and kissed him on the lips.  “Me, too.”

“And just so you know, I try so hard on those medical exams,” he said with a sigh.  “He always wanted me to be a doctor, just like him.  Follow in his footsteps.”

“But is that what you want?” she asked, knowing that it wasn’t.

After listening to his music just one time, she knew that being a doctor wasn’t what he wanted.  How could it be when art called to his soul?

“I’m perfectly content working as a bartender and playing music for the rest of my life…but you can’t retire on that.”

“No.”

“I just don’t have the heart for it.  I got my scores back,” he said.

“How did you do?” Devon asked, her heart jumping out of her chest.  Was it that time already?  Were the scores already reported?

He shrugged.  “Good enough to go wherever I want.”

“Oh wow,” she said with a smile.  “Where have you applied?”

“That’s the problem…nowhere.  I haven’t applied anywhere.  I don’t know if I can be him…and I hate that about myself,” he told her.

They sat there in silence for a bit.  Devon knew something of parental approval.  She and her mother had never seen eye to eye on what Devon should do with her life.

Devon reached out and took his hand in her own.  “You know, my mama always wanted me to be a country music singer.”

“Yeah?  Is that because your parents work in the industry?”

She was surprised he remembered that about her.

“Yeah. They’re lyricists.”

“Like you,” he said with a smile.

“Ugh…no way.  Not like me.  My stuff sucks, and I’m never letting people hear it.”

“I doubt that, Dev.”

“Anyway,” she said, not wanting to touch on that conversation right now, “I never wanted that for myself.  I never saw myself as the country music artist my mother wanted me to be, no matter how hard she tried, and she tried hard.  But my mother also wants me to be happy, and she only pushed me as far as she could without upsetting me.  She wants a country music star, but she’s okay with me being the person I am.  And…I think your dad would want that, too.”

Brennan leaned forward and kissed her.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said shyly.  She felt weird being the one giving out advice for once.

“Come on.  Amy will probably be looking for us any minute,” Brennan said, standing.

“You’re probably right.”

They walked out of the break room and into the kitchen just as Amy walked through the swinging door.

“Where have you guys been?  I need your help!”  She glared at Devon like she might stab her.

Devon wouldn’t put it past her.

“Sorry.” Brennan swept past Amy and headed to the bar.

Devon sighed heavily.  She hated when the moments with Brennan were broken.  It was like she was in a dream, but unlike her nightmares, it was the best place she had ever been.  It was nothing like her past life.

She walked out onto the floor and took orders at the two tables she had acquired.  She rushed them back to the kitchen and refilled drinks for another table.  Brennan handed her a full tray, and she quickly deposited the contents around the room.

“Here you go,” she said with a big smile, giving out the last drink to her customer.

Devon turned around toward the entrance to greet an incoming customer, and her tray slipped out of her hand, clattering to the ground.

“Reid?”

REID BENT DOWN and collected the tray from the floor.  He looked up, his eyes met Devon’s, and he smiled bright and beautiful.  He had an award-winning smile.  Her hands were shaking as he handed the tray back to her, and she automatically tucked it under her arm.

How had he found her?  She had thought that she was safe, that she had time, that she would be able to figure things out.  He wasn’t supposed to be here.  He wasn’t supposed to be standing in Jenn’s, staring at her expectantly.  He had only texted her this morning.  There was no way he could have found her in less than a day, right?  That wasn’t even supposed to be possible.

And Brennan.  Oh fuck—Brennan!  She hadn’t told him.  There hadn’t been time.  Her mind had been elsewhere, running ahead of her as always to his one-bedroom apartment.  She had been planning to tell him night when she was supposed to go to his apartment.

Now, what could she do?  Brennan didn’t know, and she had told him that she had broken up with her boyfriend.  But now, Reid was here, and he was staring at her, making it very obvious that she was his property.  He had a way of looking at her that made it very clear they were together.  She never got hit on in public, and Hadley had been the one that pointed it out the first time.  Devon recognized it now as possessiveness, which was part of his problem.

Would Brennan notice?  Fuck!  He was the most perceptive person she knew.  Of course, he would notice.  Plus, with the way they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other the past couple days, it would be strange for her to act any different now.

But if Reid saw her with Brennan, what would he do?  She couldn’t think about it.  She couldn’t imagine her life right now without Brennan.  He made her feel human, and she never wanted to feel like she was anything less again.

As she saw it, she had two choices, neither of which she wanted to face.  She could confront Reid right here, something she had never prepared for, and watch him go ballistic, potentially hurting her and Brennan.  Hadn’t she thought that if Brennan ever collided with her problems that he might end up dead?  She couldn’t let that happen, but she knew what Reid was capable of.  The other option was to act like everything was fine—leave with Reid and keep Brennan out of it.  Figure out what to do from there.  It sounded like a suicide mission to her, but it felt selfish to risk Brennan.

All she had to do was figure out why Reid was here and how he had found her.  She couldn’t do much else.

Devon’s whole body was trembling, and she was sure that Reid saw the shock all over her face.  Heat rose to the surface of her skin.  Her body flushed all over.  And all she could do was stand there and stare at him.  It had been two-and-a-half months since she had last seen him.  It was the longest amount of time she had been away from him in nearly three years.

Devon could see what she had fallen for all those years ago.  He wore the requisite prep look like a second skin.  It was a trait he had acquired long ago when he had attended an all-boys private school in the Kansas City suburbs.  He had perfected it when he had pledged a fraternity at Wash U.  His height had gotten him the quarterback position in high school, but he hadn’t been good enough to play Division I in college.  Pride had kept him from going to a lower division.  He had used the legacy factor from his father as the reason he didn’t play in college.  Most of all, Reid just seemed like the perfect guy—smart, confident, ambitious.

But then, she also saw what she hadn’t seen when they had first started dating.  His smile was a promise, telling her she was in a lot of fucking trouble without even saying a word.  His eyes were icy, threatening her with just a glance.  His height didn’t just make him taller than her; it was a power struggle.  He had to take up the room and break her down, make her less than nothing.  His entire presence was sinister.

And she could do better.

It was a scary thought.

“Hey, Dev,” Reid said, still not making a move toward her.

“Hey,” she whispered.  “Wha…what are you doing here?”

“It’s good to see you, too,” he said, smiling that terribly beautiful smile in her direction.

Devon deadpanned.  She couldn’t say it was good to see him.  It was shocking to see him.  It was fucking scary to see him.  It made her want to collapse into a puddle on the floor.  Good wasn’t even in the first hundred adjectives she would have used.

She didn’t miss that he didn’t answer her question.  She hadn’t asked what she wanted to know the most.  Not what was he doing here, but how had he found her?  She didn’t think that one would go over well.

“How have you been?” he asked.

Devon swallowed.  This sounded like a trick question.  “Fine.”

“I’ve missed you.”

Devon couldn’t bring herself to smile.  Her insides twisted, and she did everything she could not to look away.

“You didn’t return my messages,” he said, taking a step closer this time.

“I accidentally left my phone at home,” she told him.

She wanted to run.  She wanted to turn around and run away from him…into Brennan’s arms.  But that was dangerous…too dangerous.

“Well, I’m glad I found you then.  We have a lot to talk about.”

She knew what his talking looked like.  “I have to work,” she said softly.

He smiled like he knew she was trapped.  “I’ll wait.”

What could she say to that?  No, get the fuck out!  Yeah right!  He was coiled up like a viper ready to strike, and she wasn’t going to poke him.

“It won’t be long.  I can meet you somewhere,” she offered, wanting nothing more than for him to leave right now.

He chuckled, and even that sounded threatening.  Maybe everything about him was a threat to her now because she knew how dangerous he was.

“I think I’d rather stay.  I could use a drink.”

Fuck!  No.  No.  No.  He could not have a drink.  Bad idea.  Really bad idea.  Brennan was over by the drinks.

“Take one of my tables, and I’ll go get you one,” she said, her voice struggling to remain calm.  “Crown, right?”

“Don’t worry about it, Dev,” he said, walking up to her.  “I’ll just go to the bar.  We can talk after you get off work.”

“Okay,” she whispered, knowing it was anything but okay.

He reached forward and squeezed her hand.  “You look good,” he said, raking his eyes over her body.  Then, he released her, turned, and walked directly toward the bar, toward Brennan.

Her heart deflated, and air burst out of her mouth in a whoosh.  She reached out, grabbed one of the booths, and held on for dear life.  She couldn’t even turn around to look at Brennan and Reid standing at the bar together while Brennan made Reid a drink, offered up polite conversation, and joked around.  She couldn’t witness it.  She thought she might throw up.

It took everything she had to return to her tables and act like nothing was wrong.  She had never worked so hard in her life.  She was trying so desperately not to look at Brennan and Reid that she worked twice as hard as normal.  She needed to keep her mind busy, and that was the only way she knew how.

Devon didn’t know what she was going to do when her shift ended.  She had been running for so long that she had completely pushed away thoughts of when she would have to face her life again.  Now, it was here, sitting right in front of her.

The after-hours crowd started filling the room, which made the distraction a bit easier.  She still had a hard time looking over to see Reid sitting at the bar, but at least, Brennan was busy enough that he didn’t have to talk to Reid.  She didn’t want them to ever have to talk.

When Hannah and another waitress walked in to take over for Amy and her, Devon thought she might break down into tears.  She couldn’t leave.  Jenn’s was a sanctuary, and her demons were waiting for her outside the door…or even worse, at the bar, drinking with Brennan.  She knew that Reid wouldn’t do anything in public.  He was too self-controlled for that.  It was the only reason he had gotten away with everything for this long.  She hadn’t ratted him out, and no one would guess that perfect Reid would ever do something like hurt his perfect girlfriend.

She wanted to believe that their time apart had showed him how much he had missed her and how wrong his actions had been.  She wanted him to see her for the woman he had fallen in love with.  She wanted him to apologize and beg her to come back.

But those were fairy-tale dreams.  When he had walked in, the look Reid had given her had been enough to show her that none of those things would be her reality.  This was Reid after all.  He could never be wrong…ever.

“Hey, Devon,” Hannah said, walking up to her.

“Hey, Hannah.”

“I wish I had the mid-shift this week,” she said with a sigh.  “But I’m stuck working late.  What are you doing tonight?”

Devon stared at her blankly.  Hannah never made polite conversation with her.

“Um…nothing.”

“Sounds riveting,” Hannah said, straight-faced.

That’s more like it, she thought.

“Well, have a good time,” Devon said, untying her apron.  “I’m out of here.”

“Lucky,” Hannah said under her breath.

If only she knew…

Devon bit her lip and stole a glance at the bar.  Both Reid and Brennan were looking directly at her.  She averted her eyes as quickly as she could and hurried through the swinging door into the kitchen.  Her heart was pounding as she walked stiffly into the break room.

Only a couple hours ago, she had sat here with Brennan while he played with her hair.  Before that, they had been kissing, and he had her backed up against the lockers.  Could everything that had happened since then be real?

She grabbed her purse and slung it over her head, letting the strap cross her body.  She leaned forward against her locker and tried some breathing exercises to calm her racing heart.  Tears sprang to her eyes, and her hands swatted them away.  They wouldn’t help her now.  She just needed to be strong.

The door opened behind her, and she hoped it was Amy.

“Belle, you okay?” Brennan asked.

No luck.

She straightened immediately.  “I’m fine,” she said, the words sounding hollow.  Why did that word sound so horrible when she said it?

“Fine.  Alright.  Are you ready to head out then?  Kami just walked in to take my spot,” he said, walking across the room.

He knew something was different.  She could tell by the set of his shoulders.  He was waiting for it.  She didn’t think he knew what it was, but he knew to get ready.  He was preparing himself for whatever was to come.

“Brennan,” she said softly.  God, she hated herself.

“So…you’re not fine.”

“I…I don’t know,” she said with a shrug.

His hand reached out to touch her, but it fell halfway through, like he thought better of it.

“Does this have something to do with that guy out there?”

“What guy?” she said, barely audible.

He looked at her pointedly.

“Yeah, it does.”

“I figured as much.”

“I wasn’t expecting him to show up here,” Devon told him.  She wondered if he could tell how scared she was or if her fake bravery was enough to sway him away.

“Who is he?”  He crossed his arms, already closing himself off.

“That’s my boyfriend.”

Brennan raised his eyebrows.  “Boyfriend?”

Devon closed her eyes and shook her head twice.  “Ex-boyfriend.  Sorry.”

“If he’s your ex, what is he doing here?” Brennan asked cautiously.

“I’m not sure exactly.  We broke up on rocky terms.  I think he wants to talk to me,” Devon said, looking away from him.  This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Sounds like trouble,” Brennan said.  “Devon, look at me.”

She obliged, trying not to see the hurt in his face.

“You don’t have to talk to him.  I know it might seem like you have to, but you said it was over.  And you’re over him, right?”

He waited for the answer that should have been immediate on her tongue.  It was more complicated than whether or not she was over Reid, but she couldn’t tell Brennan that without putting him in danger.  She cared about Brennan too much to let that happen.

“We didn’t break up face-to-face.  I think I should at least talk to him,” she said softly.

His eyes shut, and he breathed heavily through his nose, like he was holding himself back.  She hated herself.  She hated herself so much.  She never wanted to cause him any pain.  She never wanted to see his beautiful face look at her any other way than as lovingly as he had on the boat yesterday.  She would never forgive herself, but at least, he would be safe.  She needed to keep reminding herself of that.

Brennan opened his eyes and stared so intensely into her own that she blushed and looked away.  He grabbed both of her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

“Devon, please,” he said, making her look at him.  “I can already see it happening.  Don’t let the life drain out of you again.  I can see you retreating.  I need you, and I think you need me, too.  Please just stay here, stay in the present, in the future.  Stay with me.”

“Brennan,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes this time.

“No, Devon, no tears,” he said, wiping them away from her eyes.  “You’re too beautiful for that.”

She laughed through her tears and sniffled.

“There’s that smile, that beautiful smile.  I want to keep making you smile, but I can’t if you walk out of this place.  We pulled each other out of the water once, Devon.  I can’t bear to see you sink any deeper.  Please, please stay with me.  Just stay with me,” he pleaded.

Devon closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing.  The tears were coming harder, and they weren’t helping anything.  She wanted to stay so badly.  She wanted to run away with Brennan and continue to forget all her problems.  She wanted to be with him, but she couldn’t keep running.  She needed to do what was right even if it wasn’t what she wanted.

“I can’t,” she said, sinking into herself as she forced out the words.  “I have to go.”

She pushed the tears out of her eyes and brushed past him toward the exit.  She had already been in here too long.  Reid would notice, and she didn’t want him to associate Brennan with her.

“Devon,” he said, grabbing her wrist in his hand before she could go, “you’re making a big mistake.”

She swallowed back her tears.  “I have to go,” she repeated, pulling her wrist free.

Before Brennan could say another word, she rushed out of the break room and into the kitchen.  Pushing her hands up into her hair, Devon doubled over like she had just been punched in the stomach.  No.  This was worse.

This felt like her heart was breaking, shattering into a million pieces.