Текст книги "Following Me"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

WHEN DEVON FINALLY composed herself, she walked out of the back to find Reid fiddling with his empty drink while he talked to an enamored Hannah.  This was going to go over well for her reputation, not that it even mattered.  She didn’t know what she would even be doing after today.

“Hey,” Reid said.  He watched her as she walked toward him, like a predator tracking his prey.

“Hey,” Devon responded.

His eyes searched her face.  She knew that he could tell she had been crying.  She never hid it well, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

Seemingly without thinking, he reached out and took her hand.  “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” she murmured.

“It was really nice meeting you, Hannah,” Reid said with that same award-winning smile.  He placed two twenties on the bar and stood.

“Nice meeting you, too,” Hannah said sullenly as she watched Reid with Devon.

Devon didn’t even have the strength to say anything else to Hannah.  She was ready to leave or else she never would.  She had already left Brennan in the break room, and that had been nearly impossible.

THE SILENCE THAT permeated the space between Reid and Devon was suffocating.  There was so much left unsaid, so much that she was waiting for, but she wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence.  She didn’t even know where Reid was taking her.  She knew the area, but she couldn’t tell where they were going.  She should have cared more or been a little freaked out, but it was Reid.  He wouldn’t do anything to attract attention to himself in public.  But if they were walking somewhere more private…

She swallowed hard; a lump that she couldn’t get down lodged in her throat.  The fact that they were here together right now was so messed up.  She had thought that she had loved this man, that he was her greatness.  True love had never felt so cheap than it had in this moment.

She had deluded herself into believing in it, in him.  Reid wasn’t her greatness.  He was just a guy who got off on a little power.  She had been so blind to him that even when the worst had come—she had still blamed herself.  Why couldn’t she be better?  How could she get him to see that she was trying harder?  She deserved what he was doing to her because she wasn’t good enough for him.

The longer she had stayed away, the more these thoughts had faded from her mind.  She wasn’t a coward.  She hadn’t run because she thought it was easier than facing him.  She was brave, and she had run because facing him wasn’t possible.

Two-and-a-half months wasn’t long enough for her to forget what had happened.  It wasn’t long enough for her to forgive if she ever would.  It was only long enough for the bruises to heal…but not the emotional ones.  Those had scarred, and she didn’t know if they would ever fully heal.

As Reid walked into a parking garage, Devon’s heart fluttered.  Of course, he had driven here.  How else would he have gotten here so soon?  The thought of getting into a car with him and letting him control her course was terrifying.  Where were they going to go?  Would he drive them straight back to St. Louis and pick up where they left off?

They found Reid’s sporty little black BMW parked all by itself.  He had a habit of parking a floor above all the other cars to avoid anyone messing with his baby.  Ironic at best.

Still holding her hand, he guided her to the passenger seat, opened the car door for her, and let her slide onto the black leather seat.  As he shut the door tightly behind her, she tried not to hyperventilate.

They were alone.  Completely alone.  100 percent alone.

She felt like a caged animal, desperate to be released from captivity.  Her hair stood on end, and she tried not to fidget.  Without thinking, she reached into her purse and pulled out a pen.  She absentmindedly flipped it between her fingers.  It didn’t calm her down, but it helped.  It gave her something else to think about.  She wanted to write then, to let out all the emotions coursing through her body.  She wanted to write more than she had since the first couple weeks she had been in Chicago.  But she didn’t dare pull out her notebook.  Reid didn’t like her lyrics, and he certainly wouldn’t like the ones she had written about him.

Reid sat himself comfortably into the driver’s seat and locked the doors.  Devon watched the lock click into place, and she had the sudden urge to lift it and bolt.  How far could she get?  She wasn’t a runner.  Could she make it to the elevator?  Would the stairs be a better option?  Would he chase her?  Were her dreams becoming reality?

He revved the engine to life, and Devon sank back into the seat.  She couldn’t outrun him.  Although he didn’t work out like he had used to, he still had more than six inches on her in height.  Not to mention, he was a natural athlete.  And who was she kidding?  Her dreams were already her reality.

“Where have you been staying?” he asked, reaching for her hand and taking it.

“With Hadley and her boyfriend,” she told him with a sigh.

“Ah,” he said, putting the car into reverse, “I forgot Hadley was in the city.”

Devon nodded, not knowing what else to say.  Now, he knew.  Great.

“Then, we’ll go there.”

“What?” she asked.  Oh God…Hadley!  She had told Hadley that she and Reid had broken up and that she was into Brennan.  If she showed up with Reid in tow, it could cause a nuclear meltdown.  Garrett knew what had happened between them, and Garrett and Hadley both knew that she had been out all night with Brennan.  If they said one word about Brennan, it would set off Reid.  Reid could not go back to the apartment.

“That’s where your stuff is, right?” he asked, turning to face her.

“Uh, right.  But I don’t have much,” she said.  She didn’t even know why she said that.  It wasn’t like she wanted to hurry up and head back to St. Louis.  She had no escape there.

He smiled and squeezed her hand.  She tried not to cringe.

“Didn’t you leave your phone there?”

Her stomach dropped.  Fuck!  Of all the days…

“Oh yeah,” she whispered.

Reid pulled the car out of the garage and exited smoothly into traffic on the one-way street.  “Where am I headed?”

She bit her lip and stared out the car window before directing him to their destination.  She didn’t want to bring him back to the apartment.  What choice did she have though?  She had taken the only choice she could to protect Brennan.  Now, she had to follow through with it.  Once he was safe, she would try to work things out with Reid.  He just couldn’t find out.  She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if Reid were to hurt Brennan.

Devon had never driven the streets of Chicago, but she knew the blocks well enough.  Jenn’s wasn’t far from Marina City, but she felt a bit disoriented since she always took the L.  He grunted when she made another accidental wrong turn.

“I should have just used my GPS.”

“Sorry,” she squeaked.

It was the least angry he had gotten with her for bad directions in a long time.  He had refused to let her navigate anywhere they went because he hated all her mistakes.  This was already starting out so well.

He pulled into the Marina City complex and parked.  Devon pushed the door open and stood.  From her position, she could see out of the building all the way to Lake Michigan.  It made her think of Brennan’s boat, the boat his father had left him, sitting in the harbor.  She pulled her eyes away from the horizon, not wanting her eyes to show the loss of what could have been.  Reid might not be able to decipher what it was immediately, but she didn’t want to give him cause to consider it.

They walked to the elevator together, his arm locked around her shoulder.  He was using any excuse to touch her.  She wanted to run far, far away.  Apparently, she hadn’t run far enough to get away from him.

The elevator was as quick as ever and deposited them on the forty-third floor of the building.  Devon was dreading this with every ounce of her being.  She hated not knowing what would happen when they walked through the door.

Devon slid her key into the hole and turned the handle.  She took a deep breath for strength and pushed through the door.  Reid walked in behind her.  Suddenly, the apartment felt very small, much too small.  Two bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen, and a living room—it wasn’t enough space.  She couldn’t get away from Reid in here unless she wanted to jump off the balcony and drop forty-three floors.  And that wasn’t even an option.

“So, this is the place,” she said tentatively.

As they walked into the living room, Reid seemed to be examining the apartment.  He was probably judging the place.

She heard a noise behind her, and she turned quickly.  Garrett was standing in the hallway.  His eyes moved from Devon’s face to Reid and back.  His eyes grew wide as he seemed to realize what was happening, and then his face turned white as a sheet.

Reid turned around just then and smiled.  “Hey, man, I’m Reid.”  He walked across the room and shook Garrett’s hand.

“Garrett.”

“So nice to meet you.  Devon’s been telling me all about you.  Really nice of you to let her stay in the city for a couple weeks,” Reid said.

“Uh, yeah, no problem.  She’s welcome here anytime,” Garrett said, his eyes shifting to Devon.

Reid smiled bigger and turned to include Devon in the conversation.  “That’s always good to know.  Maybe we’ll make another trip up here during the school year.”

Devon looked away from them.  She just couldn’t handle this.  The implication in Reid’s words sliced open old wounds.  They were never going to make a trip to see Hadley and Garrett.  Once Reid got her in St. Louis again, she wouldn’t go anywhere.  He would make sure of that.

“So, how long are you here for?” Garrett asked, running a hand back through his hair.

Devon already knew the answer.  They would leave as soon as Reid could get her out of here.

“Well, it’s up to Devon, of course,” he answered, clearly lying.

Reid smiled at her, and Devon thought she might be sick.  Since when had anything been up to her?

“What do you want to do, Dev?”

She shrugged.  She wanted to go back to Brennan and apologize.  She wanted to explain to him that Reid was dangerous and Brennan couldn’t come anywhere near him.  She wanted to tell Brennan that she didn’t trust Reid not to hurt him, and if he did, it would kill her.

“Well, I got my MCAT scores in the mail this week, and it’s Devon’s birthday soon.  Maybe we could all go out and celebrate?” Reid said.

“How did you do?” Devon asked automatically.  Hadn’t she just asked Brennan the same question?

A muscle in Reid’s neck twitched at the question.  If she didn’t know him so well, she wouldn’t have known what that meant.  He hadn’t done as well as he had wanted.  She wondered if his parents would donate a library or something to get him into Wash U’s medical school.  She wouldn’t put it past them.

“Great.  They were great,” he said with a sinister smile.  “So, you want to go out then?”

“Sure,” she said softly.  She would rather be out than alone with him, and she might as well put off the inevitable.

“I’ll have to see what Hadley’s doing.  I’m not sure if she’s ready to go out again.  She should be home soon though,” Garrett said.

He sounded uncomfortable and out of place, and Devon didn’t blame him.  He knew what had happened with her and Reid, and he was probably trying to figure out his role now that Reid was here.

“She’s not home yet?” Devon asked just to fill the silence.

“No, she and her mom decided to go out shopping.  I don’t expect them until after the stores close.”  He looked down at his watch.  “That was thirty minutes ago, so she should be here soon.”

As if on cue, Hadley walked through the door, loaded with bags.  She kicked the door shut with her foot as she stumbled inside, weighed down by her packages.

Garrett reached out to steady her.

“Hey!” she said, bending into him.  “Missed you.”

Garrett’s smile took over his face.  “I missed you, too.”

“I got way too much,” she said, leaning forward and kissing him.

When she backed up, he said, “I can see that.”  Garrett turned to gesture toward Reid.  “We, uh…have a visitor.”

“Reid McAllister!” Hadley cried in shock.  “What are you doing here?”

Reid laughed good-naturedly and shook his head.  “Nice to see you, too, Hadley.”

“Seriously, what are you doing here?” she asked, hoisting her bags over one shoulder to redistribute the weight.

“I’m here to see Devon, of course.  What do you think I’m doing here?” he asked, his eyes moving to Devon.

“I really don’t know.”

“Hadley, what did you get from your shopping trip?” Devon asked quickly, cutting off Hadley’s next response.

Hadley narrowed her eyes, but she was too much of a girl to not give in.  “Ugh…too much.  I’ll have to show you.  Bedroom?” she asked, nodding toward the room she shared with Garrett.

“Sure.  Garrett, maybe you should pour Reid a drink,” Devon offered, skirting around him.

Reid reached out and grabbed her wrist.  When she winced, he released some of the tension.  He pulled her into him, and she did everything she could not to pull away.  Her wrist would be the least of her worries then.  He pushed back a lock of blonde hair from her face.

“I missed you, and I don’t ever want you out of my sight again,” he said so softly only she could hear.  His lips landed possessively on hers.  “Don’t be in there long.”

Devon bit her lip, wanting nothing more than to wrench herself out of his grasp, but she just nodded.

“Good,” he said, releasing her.  “I think I would like that drink now, Garrett.”  He walked into the kitchen with a boisterous laugh.

Devon scurried away from him and into the bedroom.  She hoped her shaking wasn’t noticeable.  She closed the door quickly behind her just as Hadley tossed her bags on the bed with a big huff.

“Okay…what the fuck is he doing here?” Hadley asked.

“Shhh,” Devon warned quickly, putting her finger to her mouth.  “Keep it down.”

“Sorry,” Hadley said quietly.

“We didn’t really break up,” Devon said, biting her lip.

“What are you talking about?  You said that you did, and then you were gone all night with Brennan,” Hadley said, confused.

Devon fiercely shook her head.  “Don’t talk about him.  Reid can’t know about Brennan.”

“Devon, what is going on?” Hadley demanded, crossing her arms.

“I left St. Louis without telling Reid.  I wanted to break up with him, but I didn’t know how.  So, for all intents and purposes, we were broken up.  He just…didn’t know…” Devon trailed off.

“Fuck, Dev.  What are you going to do?” Hadley asked, sitting back heavily on the bed.

“Wing it?” Devon said with a shrug.

Hadley looked at her skeptically.

“Okay, I’m going to have to act like everything is normal…as much as I can anyway.  You are, too.  Then, I’m going to try to talk to him, but please don’t bring up Brennan.  I don’t want him to think that is why we’re breaking up.”

“Isn’t it?” Hadley asked.

“No,” Devon said, shaking her head.  “I left Reid before I had ever met Brennan.”

“Fair point.”

“I just…have to do this my way, okay?”

Hadley stood up and placed her hand on Devon’s shoulder.  “Let him down easy, Dev.  He’s crazy about you.”

He’s just crazy, she thought.

DEVON WAS CLOSE to collapsing by the time they made it out to the bar.  She really wanted a drink to calm her nerves, but she wanted to stay in control.  The last thing she wanted was to confront Reid with an addled mind or accidentally slip and say something she shouldn’t while drunk.

Hadley and Garrett decided on a club not too far from their house.  Hadley hadn’t been out at night since her overdose.  Devon didn’t want to worry about that on top of everything else.  Garrett would just have to take care of her for once.

When Devon walked into the club, her head was swimming.  It felt so much like her dream.  It really wasn’t anything like it at all, except for the dance floor, heavy music, and crowd.  That shouldn’t have been enough to trigger her terror, but having Reid holding tightly to her arm didn’t help anything.  As bile rose, she covered her mouth and tried to swallow away her apprehension.

His hand slid across the small of her back and gripped her waist.  He leaned down and spoke directly into her ear.  “Drink?”

She shook her head.  “I’m okay.”

“Come with me anyway,” he said, pulling her toward the bar.

“Okay,” she said because she really had no other choice.

Reid ordered himself a Crown and Coke and her a Cosmopolitan even though she didn’t want it.  She didn’t like cosmos, and she had told him a hundred times that she didn’t, but he kept ordering them for her.

“Reid,” she muttered as they waited for their drinks.

“Yeah, Dev?”

He pushed his hand up into her hair and massaged her scalp.  She didn’t want to enjoy it, but it felt good.  She wished he would stop, so she could concentrate.

“I think we need to talk,” she said, wondering if he could even hear her over the music.

“Let’s talk later, okay?  I can’t really hear you,” he said with a smile.

Devon didn’t like the thought of later.  “But—”

“No,” he said sharply, cutting her off.  “Later.  Let’s enjoy our night together.”

With that, his lips covered hers as he held her head in place, so she couldn’t move.  He forced her mouth open and plunged his tongue inside.  She wanted to squirm away, but he had her exactly where he wanted her.  Her heart pounded as one of his hands slid down her backside.  He grabbed it forcefully enough to make her cry out.  Back before he had ever hit her, that would have turned her on.  Now, she only felt disgusted.

When the bartender slid the drinks across the bar to him, he released her.  Reid handed the guy his credit card and told him to keep the tab open.

His eyes found her again, and he laughed.  “You’re mine.  You know that, right?”  He grasped her chin in his hand.  “All mine.”

She swallowed, trying not to react.  He didn’t care if she confirmed or denied what he had said.  In his head, he believed it to be true.

They spent the rest of the night hanging out with Hadley and Garrett.  Devon tried and failed to act like her normal self because normal didn’t include Reid anymore.  Thankfully, for the sake of the conversation, he took over.  He had a big enough personality for the two of them, and he seemed to seamlessly hold up their end of the conversation.  She couldn’t believe she had ever let him talk for her like this before.  It felt unnatural.

She wanted to speak up at times, but then she thought better of it.  If she didn’t hand him ammunition, he would be less likely to pull the trigger.

Reid yawned big and exaggerated.  Devon knew he wasn’t tired.  He was actually wired.  Everything about the situation that put her on edge riled him up.

“I think it’s time we got out of here.”

“Are you sure?  It’s still early,” Garrett said hastily.

Devon didn’t know if Garrett’s reaction was out of fear for her safety or because he had gotten along with Reid so well.  She wasn’t really surprised.  Reid got along with everyone, but she thought that Garrett wouldn’t play into his hand so easily.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen Devon in a while.  I think we need some alone time,” he said, pulling her up with him.

“Reid,” Devon said quickly.  She did not want to be alone with him.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Hadley jumped in.

“No.  We don’t want to interrupt your evening,” he said smoothly.

Hadley looked at her pointedly.  She thought she was being reassuring as if telling Devon, Here’s your chance.  Devon regretted not telling Hadley the truth.  She couldn’t be alone with him!  This was absurd.

“It wouldn’t interrupt our evening at all,” Garrett said, standing as well.

“Really, don’t even worry about us,” Reid said.  “We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Reid, I think they should come with us,” Devon said quickly.

His grip on her arm tightened, and she stopped breathing.  It felt too familiar.  She just wanted to wake up from her nightmare.  Wake up.  Please wake up.  But she wasn’t dreaming, and she couldn’t get away from this.

“Don’t be silly, Devon.  There’s no reason for them to come with us.”  He smiled brightly at them.  “Night, guys.”

Reid all but pushed Devon out of the club and into the empty street.  He didn’t let go of her arm until he had secured her into his BMW.

“What were you thinking?  You say we need to talk, and then you try to get them to come back with us?” he asked, backing out of his parking space.

Devon didn’t bother saying anything.  She was trapped, hopelessly trapped, and she had done it to herself.  Her meager attempts at getting Hadley or Garrett’s attention had only upset him.

She hoped that she could keep Reid’s anger at bay.  She was starting to doubt her own sanity at ever agreeing to leave Jenn’s with him.  She turned toward the window and closed her eyes.  Her thoughts drifted back to Brennan—heated kisses, soft caresses, trusting conversations, freedom.  She was doing this for him.  After it was all over, maybe he would forgive her.