Текст книги "The Redemption of Callie and Kayden"

Автор книги: Jessica Sorensen

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 12

#88 Don’t hold back. Let it all out.

Callie

“Okay, I think I might have messed up” is the first thing Seth

says to me as the bathroom door swings shut. There are a few

women in there, but they’re all holding beers and don’t seem to

mind that Seth’s in there. Either that or they’re so drunk they’re

mistaking him for a woman.

“What happened?” I lean against the bathroom sink.

“Something with Greyson I’m guessing.”

He nods his head up and down. “I panicked.”

“I’m familiar with the term,” I tell him. “But what did you

panic about?”

“About—” He lowers his voice and moves aside as the door

opens and a cluster of women enter. One shoots him a glare and

he returns it with equal animosity. “About our relationship.”

“Yours and Greyson’s?”

“Yeah, I think I’m having flashbacks.”

The women filling up the restroom are listening intently, so

he grabs my arm and leads me into the handicapped stall. Locking

the door, he lets go of me and runs his fingers through his hair. He

looks uneasy, which is weird because he rarely does.

“Seth, whatever it is, please just tell me,” I say, leaning

against the wall. “You know you can tell me anything.”

He pulls a wary face. “It’s about intimacy.”

I squirm uncomfortably at the word, like it’s a reflex instilled

inside my body. “I can handle it.”

He shakes his head. “Are you sure?”

I step forward, straightening my shoulders. “Yes, I’m your

best friend and you can tell me anything.”

He sighs and starts to try to pace in the small amount of

space. “I can’t go through with it… and not because I’m worried

about finally going that far. It’s because I keep having flashbacks.”

“About what?” I keep my voice calm.

He stops pacing and his arm falls to the side. “Of Braiden.”

Braiden was Seth’s very first boyfriend and the guy who was

solely responsible for letting Seth’s ass get kicked by the football

team to avoid facing the rumors swarming about their relationship.

“Do you have feelings for him?” I ask, flicking the latch of the

door with my pinkie nail.

“No, it’s not that…” He wavers. “It’s… it’s about getting my

heart broken.”

All this time Seth has seemed so strong, but just like

everyone else he has his own fears and I need to be there for him

like he’s always there for me. I step into his shoes for a minute and become the comforting best friend who tries to help ease the pain.

“It’s going to be okay.” I take a step forward and place my

hand on his arm. “Greyson’s not Braiden.”

“I know that.” He sighs and places his hand over mine. “But

sometimes I find myself going back to that place where I’m lying in

the dirt and they’re kicking the shit out of me.”

I wrap my arms around him and hug him, noting how safe I

feel in the closeness. “I know, but sometimes moving forward is

the only way we can escape our pasts, right? At least that’s what

you’re always telling me.”

“I know,” he whispers and his arms circle around me. He pulls

me closer. “And I know nothing will happen. Greyson’s not Braiden

and he loves me, but I just keep thinking about that God damn

day. I was so fucking happy, thinking life was perfect, and then

they showed up all piled into the back of that fucking truck like a

bunch of robots all following what the other one does. And…” He

drifts off and I can tell he’s about to cry. “And I can’t stop picturing his face—the hate in his eyes, like he was blaming me that he was

part of it.”

I hold very still and give him all the time he needs to collect

himself. Seth being himself, it doesn’t take him too long before

he’s pulling away. He wipes the corners of his eyes with his

fingertips and he puffs out a breath. “Anyway, what I was going to

say before I started bawling like a baby was that I was feeling a

little scared about moving forward and I might have said some

things to Greyson that weren’t very nice.”

I reach for a roll of toilet paper and hand him some tissue. “It

could be… sometimes saying sorry is actually easy.”

He dabs the rest of the tears away with the tissue and then

tosses it into the garbage bin that’s on the wall. “Yeah, but

sometimes it’s not.”

“But sometimes it is.”

That gets him to smile. “Look at you. Being all wise.” He

swings his arm around my shoulder. “I think it must be from all the

time you spend around me.”

I crack a smile as I unlatch the door. “It must be.”

By the time we walk out of the bathroom, the room is even

more crammed. I don’t like it. It makes me feel anxious and

ashamed about the dress I’m wearing. Each time someone brushes

up against me, I cringe internally.

I grasp Seth’s hand as he guides me to our table where Luke

is talking to some girl in a tight black dress. Her blonde hair is

done up, her cleavage is nearly popping out of her dress, and she’s

sitting in my seat. As we approach the table, her eyes scale me and

then she looks away, disregarding me.

“Hey,” Seth says before she can say anything. He reaches

across the table and grabs two tall shot glasses from the eight that

are circling the middle of the table. “I think Callie and I are going to take shots and dance.”

Luke nods and then starts chatting with the girl. I step

behind Seth and he turns to me and offers me a shot. I’m

distracted, and without even thinking, I put the rim up and tip my

head back. The alcohol burns and tears at my esophagus.

“Blah.” I gag, shoving the empty glass back at Seth. “I didn’t

mean to drink that.”

Seth giggles at me and angles back his head, knocking the

shot back. He takes my glass and his and puts them back on the

table. One tips over, but he doesn’t bother picking it up. He holds

my hand and tugs me toward the dance floor.

“Do we really have to?” My head’s a little blurry and my legs

feel like rubber. “I don’t feel very good.”

Seth nods as he spins around, doing a little wiggly thing with

his hips before striking a pose. “You and I need to relax.”

I glance around at the people surrounding us who are

grinding against each other to the low beat of the sultry song.

“Dancing’s never been relaxing for me.”

He shuffles toward me, snapping his fingers and rocking

back and forth. “Come on. I saw you dancing in the car ride when

we were heading to Afton.”

I shake my head, but my lips turn upward. I start to dance

with him, not going too overboard, but enough that I feel my

mood lifting. When the song switches to a slow one, Seth inches in

and puts his hands on my hips. As we rock to the rhythm of the

song and with each sway, a weight builds on my chest. My mind is

going back to when Kayden and I danced and for a moment

everything seemed like it was going to be okay. But it’s not okay.

Nothing is. Kayden won’t talk to me and all I can ever picture is

how he looked lying on the floor, pale as snow with a dying pulse.

I can see the slits on his wrist and on his side. I can feel my terror and worry about him dying. How I don’t want him to die. How I

need him. How I need him forever. The weight on my chest bears

down and I swear my ribs will splinter.

“Callie, what’s wrong?” Seth brings his finger up to my cheek

and grazes a tear that escaped my eye.

“I don’t want him to die,” I say through a choked sob. “I

don’t.”

His eyes widen. “He’s not going to die, Callie. He made it out

alive.”

“I know that,” I say, knowing he won’t understand. Kayden is

like me in so many ways. He’ll hide it inside himself until he breaks.

And if he breaks, I might not make it to him in time.

Then what? I can’t go on living my life without him, fighting

through the pain every day. I felt what it was like to lose him back

when I saw him on the floor. I thought he was dead and my chest

nearly crushed into my heart as the pain slammed into my ribs.

I can’t do it without him. I need to save him and myself and

make us happy together.

Kayden

When I realize she’s crying, I move for her, shoving anyone

who gets in my way. Seeing tears come out of those stunning blue

eyes rips my heart in half and I no longer care about anything else

but making her better.

When she sees me, her eyes enlarge and she reaches up to

wipe the tears away from her cheeks. Seth turns and looks at me

and then he lets go of her waist and backs away.

“You got it from here?” he asks me and I nod. He moves

through the crowd and I take his place, positioning myself in front

of Callie.

Her fingers start to slide down her pink cheeks to wipe the

tears away, but I catch her hand and move it away. Bringing my

free hand to her cheek, I trace my thumb down each tear and

erase them.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, pulling her closer. “Did something

happen?”

She shakes her head, her eyes blinking fiercely as more tears

threaten to spill out. “I’m okay, just a little tired.”

“Callie, please tell me what’s wrong so I can try to make it

better.”

She shakes her head and her throat is jerking as she works

back a choke. “It’s really… nothing.” She starts to sob, her

shoulders quivering with each tear.

My arms loop around her and I pull her against my chest.

She buries her face into my shirt, clutching onto the bottom, and

her tears are soaking through the fabric. I don’t dare move, even

though everyone around us is dancing. I run my hand along her

back and down her hair.

“Shh…” I say, as I work not to cry myself. I don’t know why,

but I can feel her pain, even though I have no idea what’s causing

it. I try to hold the tears back. I focus on the open wound on my

wrist and concentrate on the lingering burn. But it’s not working

and soon I know I’m going to crumble—we both are.

I pick her up and she doesn’t even look at me or seem

stunned. Her legs hitch around my back and her arms slide up my

chest and she secures her arms around my neck. People watch us

in wonder as I shove my way through the crowd, making sure to

hold the back of her dress down and keep her covered up. When I

step outside, she moves to get down, but I tighten my arms and

force her to stay against me. Now that I’ve got her, I can’t let her

go.

Holding onto her, I flag down a cab. The driver looks at me

funny as I duck my head in, still carrying her, and sit down in the

back seat. “552 Main Beach Drive,” I tell him as I reach forward,

rising up a little, and glide the door closed.

He’s an older man, and I catch him eyeing us a few times

through the rearview mirror. I bring one of my hands up and cup

the back of her head, while the other I keep at her waist. She’s still crying and her tears are making my shirt damp.

The cab moves forward and the meter up front begins to

tick. I hold as still as I can and rub her back with my cheek pressed against the side of her head. About halfway home, when the

streetlights from the main road change into porch lights, she raises

her head and rests her chin on my shoulder, staring out the back

window. I don’t ask her what’s wrong and she doesn’t tell me. She

just watches the twinkling lights blur by as we drive forward, into

the night, knowing that eventually we’ll reach the end and one of

us will finally have to break the silence.

Chapter 13

#89 Admit the truth and accept what it means

Callie

The song playing from the cab stereo is cheerful and the

singer is professing his love to a girl he ran away from. I envy him

because he can admit it to the world. I, on the other hand, just

realized that I might be in love with Kayden and that there is no

way I’ll ever be able to tell him. Not just from fear of rejection, but from fear of the unknown. I’ve never been in love before. Never

understood it. But I realize now that the worry and heartache I’ve

been carrying inside me might just be love.

I clutch onto him, feeling his chest rise and fall underneath

me as I watch the Christmas lights blur by in streaks of gold, silver, red, and green. It’s such a pretty time of year, but I’ve never been a fan of it. It reminds me of a time when I used to get excited and

run out to the tree to rip presents open. However, the Christmas I

was twelve, presents only reminded me of my birthday and the

terror that came with that memory would always surface.

I remember the first Christmas after it happened. I’d lie

awake in my bed all night with my eyes open and my gaze

fastened on the ceiling, wishing I’d hear reindeer on the roof, like I imagined I did when I was little. But there was no imagination or

magic left inside me and all I heard was the dead silence of

nighttime and the secrets lying in my heart.

When I heard my mother walk into my room that morning, I

pretended to be asleep.

“Callie,” she’d whispered. “Callie darling, wake up.” She gave

my shoulder a little shake. “Sweetie, I think Santa brought you

some presents.”

My eyelids lifted and I met her gaze. She was wearing a pink

satin robe and her hair was braided at the nape of her neck. Her

makeup wasn’t on, but I thought she looked better without it.

“Good morning,” she said with a cheerful smile. “Are you

ready to go see what presents you got?”

I was exhausted from lying awake all night and I rolled onto

my side, situating my hands beneath the pillow. “I’m not in the

mood for presents.”

She placed a hand on my back and I jumped, thinking about

the last time someone had put a hand on me while I was lying in

the bed. “Callie, are you all right? You’ve seemed so sad the last

few months.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped. “I’m just sick of Christmas and

pretending that I believe in things when I really don’t. There is no

Santa, Mom. I haven’t believed in him since I was eight.”

“Well, of course I know that,” she replied, lifting her hand

from my back. “But it takes the magic and fun out of it if we don’t

all play along.”

“Magic and fun doesn’t exist,” I said, wiggling away from her.

“And I’m tired of playing along… I’m going to go back to sleep. I’m

tired.”

She sat there for an eternity, breathing in and out, and then

finally she rose to her feet, the mattress rising as her weight left it.

“All right.”

That’s all she said. Then she left and the room and the

haunting memories took over again. Even now, I wonder why she

never said anything. She had to be able to tell that something was

wrong. One of these days, I’ll find the courage to ask her. I have to.

Otherwise I’ll never know and the answer will always haunt me.

“Callie.” Kayden’s voice echoes through my thoughts. I lift my

eyes, realizing I’ve dozed off. I elevate my head and glance around

at the darkness outside and the ocean in the distance.

“Did I fall asleep?” I blink my eyes and then let go of his

shoulders to rub the dreariness away.

He nods, sweeping a lock of my hair out of my face. “You

did, but that’s okay.”

My cheeks and eyes feel swollen from the sting of tears. “I’m

sorry.”

His fingers linger on my cheekbone and he’s looking into my

eyes, terrified. “I said it was okay, Callie. And I promise it is… I liked holding you… It made me feel calm.”

I suck back the tears that still want to come out. “Okay.”

He nods and there’s a silent agreement that we’re both okay

for the moment and that being together is okay. I start to climb off

his lap, but he grabs my waist and shifts me aside so I slide onto

the seat. I put my feet on the floor, confused as he reaches for his

pocket. He takes out his wallet and pulls out a twenty, and then he

leans over the seat and hands it to the driver.

He starts to move back into the seat but then drifts to the

side and grabs the door handle. Flicking it up, he pulls the door

open and then hops out. He stretches his arms above his head and

then offers his hand to me. I take it, feeling the warmth of his skin as he helps me out and doesn’t let me go as he closes the door.

We both stand in the driveway beside Luke’s truck as the cab

backs down the gravel path and out onto the street. Once he

speeds off, Kayden looks at me.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asks, nodding his head at

the shore.

I nod through a sniffle. “A walk sounds nice.”

He gives me a tiny smile and laces our fingers together. We

walk hand in hand past the house and step out onto the shore.

Sand fills up my sandals and is cool against my skin. It’s hard to

walk, because they keep getting stuck, so I stop, giving a gentle

tug on his arm.

“What’s wrong?” he wonders, refusing to let go of my hand.

I wiggle my feet out of my sandals and bend over to scoop

them up, hitching them on my finger before standing back up. He

nods, understanding, and then we continue walking deeper into

the darkness. I can hear the waves rolling like a lullaby and the

sound of music drifts from one of the houses. The sand seeps

through the cracks between my toes as I listen to every sound and

feel the coolness of the air.

“Are you cold?” Kayden asks as we slow down just out of

reach of the water.

I glance at my arms, feeling myself shiver, and in the

moonlight, I see the goose bumps on my arms. “A little.”

He sighs and then glances back at the house up at the top of

the sandy slope. “Let me run back and get you a jacket.”

I quickly shake my head and strengthen my hold on his

hand. “No, please stay here. We need to… we need to talk.”

He eyes me over skeptically and in the darkness his eyes look

hollow. He rubs the back of his neck tensely and then he lowers

himself onto the ground, guiding me down with him. He gives me

a gentle tug to the side and maneuvers me onto his lap, settling

me against him. I lean back, shutting my eyes, feeling safe, feeling

like this is where I belong.

Kayden is the only guy who’s ever made me feel this way,

more than Seth, more than my own self. He is all I need and I hope

he feels the same way too. But before I ask, there’s something else

I need to know—need to understand.

I summon a deep breath and the release it out into the open.

“Kayden, what happened?”

Three tiny words, so heavy and meaningful that they crack

the earth. He tenses and so do I, before I turn to look him in the

eyes. He swallows hard and so do I. He takes a deep breath and it’s

nearly soundless as it eases back out of his lips.

His lips part and as his voice slides out, my heart nearly

stops. “My father stabbed me.”

Kayden

I have no idea why I tell her. I wasn’t planning on it. I was

planning on keeping it a secret forever, just like everything else.

But she’s sitting there, waiting for me, trusting me enough to hold

her and be close to her. She expects the truth and I want to give it

to her. I want to give her everything.

“My father stabbed me.” And just like that, I’ve shattered the

box inside my heart and it fractures into a thousand jagged

splinters.

Her eyes widen and her breath hitches in her throat. She’s

verging on crying again, so I wrap my arms around her and pull

her against me. “Relax, I’m okay now.”

Her skin is like ice. I rub my hands up and down her arms,

trying to warm her up. She shivers, not from the cold but from my

touch. Or maybe it’s from the shock I’ve just given her. I suddenly

wish I could take it back, because I never should have put it on her

shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

Her hands wiggle between our bodies and she flattens her

hands on my chest. Pushing away from me, she looks me in the

eye. “Yes, you should have… You should have told me sooner.”

I shake my head, putting my hand onto the small of her back

so she’ll stay close. “Callie, you don’t need to know this kind of

stuff… You’ve got your own problems.”

She looks angry suddenly, her eyes flaring and I lean back,

concerned she’s going to hit me or something. “Kayden… I don’t…”

She can’t find the right words. She shifts her body, bending her

knees so her weight is on my lap. She places her hands on my

shoulders and with a steadfast look in her eye she says, “This is all my fault.” I start to protest, but she puts her hand over my mouth.

“You should have never hit Caleb… I should have never let you find

out about him. If you hadn’t, then none of this would have

happened. We’d be back at the house lying in my bed.”

“That’s not true,” I say, my lips moving against her hand. “It’s

good that you told me. He can’t just go walking around living his

life when he took yours.”

She lowers her hand to her lap and sighs. “That’s what you

father’s doing.” She huffs a frustrated breath. “Does anyone even

know?”

I shake my head and then shrug. “My mom, but she’s known

about everything… about the hitting, the beating, the kicking… She

doesn’t care.”

Her eyes wander out to the ocean. “This isn’t right,” she

mutters and turns her head toward me. “We have to tell someone.”

She starts to get up, but I dig my fingers into her side and hold her in place.

“Callie, there’s no point telling anyone… and you… you need

to stop worrying about me.” My breath starts to tremble from my

lips. God damn it. This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to say. But I need to say it. I need to make her understand who I am,

deep on the inside. “I messed up. Big time. What I said at the diner

about… about cutting myself… I’m broken. I don’t know if I’ll ever

really be able to stop… to stop cutting. You need to stay away

from me. Please, walk away.”

Her eyes stay on me as she takes in my face and makes me

feel unsettled on the inside. “No.”

I shake my head. “Callie, you don’t want this—”

“Yes, I do.” She places her hand over my mouth, pressing her

lips together as she slips a finger underneath one of the rubber

bands on my wrist. “Kayden, you think I’m walking blindly into this,

but I’m not. I think I might have known for a while that you… that

you cut yourself, even before you told me.”

My heart shrivels into nothing as she lowers her hand from

my mouth. “How?”

Tears bubble in the corners of her eyes. “That night when

we… when you and I…” Her breathing is unsteady. “When we had

sex, I saw you had all those cuts on your arms, I thought… the

thought crossed my mind that you might have put some of them

there.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Did you cut yourself?’ Besides,

I didn’t want to believe it.”

My shriveled heart has become a fucking pile of nothingness.

“Because it’s too much?”

She quickly shakes her head. “No, because I don’t want to

believe that you have all that pain trapped inside of you… I know

how much pain it takes to go that far… to want to hurt yourself.”

There’s this mind-blowing moment when I realize something.

Someone understands me. Callie understands me. She gets it and

she’s not afraid of me or what’s inside me. And while I don’t

understand it, I want it—I want her. How is it even fucking possible

that I’ve been walking around for years and years and years with

her in the same town—the same school—and I never really saw

her? What would have happened if I had?

“I’m too messed up,” I press again, wanting her to fully

understand. “I hurt myself and let others hurt me and I don’t tell

anyone.”

“But you need to. You need to tell someone about your

father. Even if they think you hurt yourself, people need to know.”

“No one will ever believe me. I just got arrested for beating

Caleb’s ass and then I have my fucking scars that I put on my body

myself. No one will get it.”

“I don’t care,” she responds and her fingers dig into my

shoulders as she clings onto me. “We’ll make them understand.”

I stop and look at her. How can someone like her exist? It’s

impossible, and yet she’s here in front of me, looking as beautiful

as ever beneath the pale glow of the moon. “Callie… but what

about you and Caleb? You haven’t told anyone about that.” I feel

like a jerk for saying it, but it seems like it needs to be said.

“I’m working on it,” she utters and there’s a quiver in her

voice. “You and I, we’re going to work on it… We’re not going to

let other people own us anymore.” She seems to be making the

speech to herself more than to me, but that’s okay. I want her to

tell someone so that piece of shit can stop walking around owning

her.

She looks at me and I can tell she’s about to cry. I don’t want

her to cry. I want her to be happy. “Callie, tell me what you need,” I say and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I need the world to stop being such an ugly place full of

hurt.” Tears slip out of her eyes. “I need to wake up and really

believe everything will be okay instead of just hoping it will be. I

want to be one of the lucky ones who has a good life.”

I nod, because that’s what I want for her too. “You can still

get that. Just tell me what you need to make you happy.”

She looks me in the eye with tears streaming down her

cheeks. “You.”

I flinch because she just threw herself out there to a person

who’s hollow and cracked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if

I can give her what she wants. I don’t understand need or love. I

don’t understand what makes people’s lives whole. My lips part

and I honestly have no idea what’s about to come out of them, but

I never find out because she presses her lips against mine and

silences me.

Maybe she knew it wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear or

maybe she just wanted to kiss me, either way I pull back. Cupping

her cheek, I say, “Callie, you don’t want me. Trust me. I’ll get you

nowhere.”

All she does is shake her head and kiss me again, clutching

onto my shoulders for dear life. This time I can’t help myself. She’s shaking in my arms and I want to make her better, so I kiss her

back, slowly at first, but then this hunger take over and I begin to

kiss her fiercely and with all the passion I’ve kept trapped inside

me.

We fall back into the sand. She’s lying on top of me and our

bodies are joined together as our tongues entangle. The heat of

her is mind-numbing and I forget where I am. It’s just me and her

lying in the sand and I swear for one fucking moment that

everything is going to be okay. That this will be my life. Just her

and me.

Forever.

And for a second, the thought doesn’t scare the shit out of

me.

Callie

I can tell I’m scaring him and I start to shy away, fearing

rejection. But then I see something in his eyes put there by years of beatings and God knows what else. I suddenly get it. Kayden can’t

love me because he doesn’t understand love. He understands pain

and hurt and disappointment, but not love. I know right then that I

can’t tell him how I’m feeling, but I can show him.

Needing to be close to him, I gather every speck of courage I

have inside me and kiss him. He kisses me back but then he’s

pulling away. My insides wind into knots, but I don’t back down. I

press my lips to his again and just like that, through a second

chance, he’s kissing me back.

At first he’s gentle, his tongue soft against mine as he holds

me on his lap. But suddenly the gentleness turns desperate and

the next thing I know we’re falling backward. I land on top of him,

with our mouths sealed together and our bodies perfectly aligned.

His hands are all over me, on my neck, my back. They glide down

to my backside and then they’re slipping underneath my dress,

digging roughly into my skin.

I tense at the intimate touch, but then remember that he’s

seen and felt all of me. I relax, letting his hands explore my body.

Without warning he turns us to the side and pulls my leg up over

his hip. His hand slides higher, leaving a path of heat along my

skin, and I almost burst into flames as he inches his fingers

beneath my panties.

I start to shiver, from nerves, from the cold, from the

anticipation, but each feeling leaves me when he slips his fingers

inside me. I let out an embarrassing moan and my body arches

into him. He starts to move his fingers and causes small whimpers

to leave my lips. I feel myself verging toward the edge, about to

break and be free. But he abruptly stops and then he’s pulling

away again. The moment starts to dissipate and fall into the sand

as he sits up, moving me with him.

“What are you doing?” I stutter, feeling flushed. “Is

something wrong?”

His fingertips burrow into my waist and he holds me firmly

as he stands. Sand showers from our bodies as he wraps his arms

underneath me and he holds me against his body. He hikes across

the beach and toward the house, with me attached to his front.

“I’m taking you inside,” he says softly, kissing me and then

pulling back. “Before things get too out of hand.” He presses his

lips to mine and gives me a delicate kiss. “We don’t want to be out

in the beach… out in the open.” He brings his lips to mine as his

shoes scuff in the gravel of the driveway. He nips at my bottom

and I shiver uncontrollably. When he pulls back, his lips quirk. “We

don’t want to be in the sand… it can get messy.”

I try not to blush, but I’ve never been good at suppressing

my embarrassment, and my cheeks are fiery hot.

He walks around Luke’s truck and trots up the steps, bringing

us into the porch light. He smiles as he takes me in and then

moves one arm away from me to touch his finger to my cheek.

“I’ve missed that, you know—the blushing. It’s adorable.”

I blush even more, but I let it be—there’s nothing I can do

about it. Smiling, he shifts my weight to the side, and I overlap my

fingers behind his neck as he maneuvers the door open without

setting me down. We stumble into the kitchen and his lips come

down on mine as soon as his feet make it over the threshold.

His hand travels up into my hair as he kisses me and walks

through the house, bumping into the corner of the countertop and

knocking his elbow against the wall of the hallway. It’s dark, but

there’s a lamp on in the living room and also in the bedroom and a

soft trail of moonlight filters through the windows.

Kayden’s hands run down my back and slip underneath my

dress as he turns the corner and stumbles through the doorway

into the room Seth and I are sleeping in.

“What if they come back?” I ask, breathless, and my lips feel

bruised from all the kissing.

Kayden adjust his arm so it’s under my backside and I can

feel his hardness pressing against me. All there is between us are

his jeans and my panties. “We’ll lock the door… unless… unless you

don’t want to do this.” Without letting me go, he reaches back with

one arm, shuts the door, and pushes the lock in.

I love that he asks. I love it even more that I want to do it. I

want to be with him. I can be with him. Only months ago, the idea

seemed out of reach, nonexistent, impossible. But now, with him,

everything inside me has changed and my heart and soul aren’t so