Текст книги "The Redemption of Callie and Kayden"

Автор книги: Jessica Sorensen

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 17

#1 Overcome your worst fear

Callie

“Have you heard anything from him?” Seth asks me. He’s

lounging on the bed, with the remote pointed at the television as

he surfs through the channels. Kayden’s been gone all night and

I’m extremely worried about him. I text him a couple of times, but

he doesn’t respond. Everyone keeps reassuring me that

everything’s okay, but Luke left really early, saying he needed

coffee, when really I think he went to look for Kayden. At least I

hope he did.

I shake my head and set the brush down on the counter.

“No, not yet.”

I wonder if he’s heard my voicemail, if he’s heard me pour

out my heart and soul. If he has, he’s probably upset, or pissed, or

maybe even scared. But I needed to say it. No more hiding. I love

Kayden and he needed to know that.

I leave my hair down and walk back into the room. I drop

down on the bed, flat on my stomach, and stretch out. “I need

caffeine,” I say through a yawn. “I didn’t sleep very well.”

He tosses the remote onto the foot of the bed. “Maybe it’s

because you spent half the night talking to a voicemail.”

I prop up on my elbows. “You heard that?”

He nods. “I heard the crying too.” Leaning forward, he

sweeps my hair out of my face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head and pivot to my side. “Not really. I kind of

talked about it last night.”

He crooks his eyebrow. “On a voicemail.”

I nod. “He’ll hear it and that’s all that matters.”

“And then what?”

“And then he hears it.”

Seth waits for an explanation. “And…”

I trace the floral pattern on the faded bedspread. “And then

nothing… I didn’t tell him because I expected anything. I just

wanted him to know how I felt about him… He deserves that.”

He presses his lips together, contemplating. “Did you tell him

you love him?”

I look up from the bedspread. “Y-yes.”

“Callie, I…” There are drops of pity in his eyes. He doesn’t

think this is going to end well.

I sit up and tuck my feet under me. “Seth, I promise

everything will be all right. The very fact that I could tell him I

loved him means something to me… It means I’m growing. Do I

wish he’ll say it back? Yes. But either way, I’m glad I did it.”

He gives me a lopsided grin and then brushes the tip of my

nose with the tip of his finger. “That’s good.” He sits up and swings his feet over the edge of the bed. “But Callie, if he doesn’t say it

back, as your best friend and protector of evil guys who want to

hurt you, I’m going to have to kick his ass.”

I snort a laugh and cover my mouth. “Yeah, okay.”

He stands to his feet and presses his fist into his hand,

popping his knuckles. “I’m not joking. I’ll hurt him for hurting you.”

Laughter sputters from my lips at the sight of tall, thin Seth

trying to kick Kayden’s ass. “Well, thank you, protector. I appreciate your getting your ass kicked.”

His nose crinkles as he scoops up a pillow and throws it at

me. I duck and it zips above my head, landing on the floor. I start

laughing at him, clutching onto my stomach as I roll onto my back.

“What the hell’s so funny about that?” Seth sounds offended

and he rolls up the sleeves of his gray shirt. He flexes his muscles

and I just about die of laughter. “Well, I’m glad I can entertain

you.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, wiping the tears away from my eyes. “It’s

just so funny to picture.”

He glares at me, but it vanishes as someone knocks on the

door. “Oh good, there’s my breakfast.” He heads over to it,

collecting his wallet from the nightstand. “And if it’s so funny to

picture then stop picturing it.” He grins at me as he grabs the door

handle. “You know we’re going to have to come up with a solution

to the no-car dilemma…” He trails off as he opens the door and his

jaw hangs to his knees.

Kayden is standing on the other side of it, with a thin jacket

on, and the bottoms of his jeans are wet with muddy water and so

are his boots. He has snowflakes in his damp hair and water beads

off the end of each strand. His lips are purple, his eyes are red like he’s been crying, and his hands are tucked up in the sleeves.

“Nope, not breakfast for me,” he says, glancing at me. “I

think this is what you ordered.”

He’s making jokes, but none of this is funny. Kayden’s here

after he took off and then I told him I loved him and sobbed on

the phone as I told him my story. I don’t know what it means or if

I’m stable enough to find out. I want to believe I am though, that

I’m not the weak girl I used to be. That I can handle anything.

Kayden runs his hand over his head, ruffling his hair and

sending snowflakes to the floor. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Seth says, glancing at me from over his shoulder.

Kayden maintains his gaze on me, his emerald eyes sparkling

in the sunlight flowing from outside. There is snow falling from the

sun-kissed sky, something that occasionally happens when a small

section of the sky is cloudy but the sun still can spill through.

Kayden lowers his hand to his side and I just stare at him as I

remain on my back, letting the cool breeze sink into my body. I

can’t tell if he’s listened to my message yet, but I hope he has.

“Um…” Seth coughs into his hand. “I think I’m going to go

check out what’s taking room service so long.” He squeezes past

Kayden, leaving the door wide open.

Kayden doesn’t budge. He keeps looking at me with this

perplexed, intense look on his face, like he’s afraid to cross the

threshold. The moment keeps building, bricks stacking on bricks,

as we just look at each other, afraid to move, to breathe, to be the

one to speak first.

I sit up, my hair blowing in the wind. “You can come in,” I say

and my voice nearly gets carried away in the wind and knocks the

bricks to the ground in a pile of dust.

He doesn’t disconnect our gaze as he bends his knee and

steps one foot into the room. He repeats the movement with the

other foot and then shuts the door. The wind ceases and the

curtain is closed so the room is mostly dark.

“I got your message,” he says, shocking me with his

bluntness.

“Oh…” My throat feels like it’s closing as I kneel up onto the

bed, bringing a pillow to my lap to hug it. “Kayden, where have

you been all night? Were you with your therapist?”

A breath eases from his lips as he rakes his hands through

his hair, shifting his gaze to the wall just over my shoulder. “I’m

sorry, but I couldn’t do it with you there.”

“Did you… did you tell him about your dad?” I ask and he

just stares at me, with a strange look on his face, like he’s really

studying me. I don’t know if it means he told him or not. I don’t

know what any of this means. I move my feet to the floor and

stand, tipping my chin up to meet his eyes. “Kayden, you need to

tell someone… I thought we… I thought we had a deal.”

He gives me a small smile and then threads his fingers

through mine. His hands are as icy as breeze outside the room. “I

did tell someone. I just didn’t want you there when I was giving…

all the gory details.”

My shoulders jolt upward as I imagine him on the floor

again. “But you did tell someone? Really?”

He nods and forces the lump down his throat with a hard

swallow. “I wasn’t lying in the text. I went to talk to my therapist

and I told him.”

“And?” I’m not sure what the right question is or if one exists.

I feel like I should just let him tell me what he wants to.

He sighs and then lines form on his forehead as he presses a

hand to his chest, massaging it over his heart. “And it feels kind of good.”

I study his expression and realize that his eyes look a bit

greener, his shoulders a little less stiff, like some of the darkness he keeps bottled inside has reduced and lightened. “What did your

therapist say for you to do?”

He stares off into space, his hand coming up to my face. He

starts twirling a strand of my hair around his fingers and I don’t

think he’s even aware he’s doing it. “He said to think about

pressing charges.”

“And are you going to?”

“Think about it?”

“No, press them.”

“I’m still thinking,” he mutters. He unravels my hair from his

finger and looks at me with depth in his eyes. “I want to, but it’s

hard. I just need some time,” he murmurs, confused. “I really wish I

had some help… What I really wish is that my brothers would be

on my side, at least so I don’t look like a complete liar.”

“Maybe they will be,” I say encouragingly. “You said it was

the same for them, right? Maybe once they see you do it they’ll

want to stand up to him too.”

He shakes his head, his gaze never wavering from mine.

“Nah, Tyler’s a crackhead alcoholic so I’d have to wait for him to

sober up first, and Dylan’s been missing for forever. Well, missing

in the sense that he won’t speak to anyone in the family.”

“Do you know where he is?” I ask, sketching my finger below

his eye and along the red streaks on his skin. He’s been crying. I

can feel the dried tears.

He shrugs, moving my hand to his mouth and closing his

eyes. He places a tantalizing kiss on my palm. “I’ve never tried to

find him.” He opens his eyes and tilts his head. “Maybe though… I

could try.”

I nod, leap to my feet, and wrap my arms around his waist

without any hesitation. “You should. At least I think you should.”

He kisses the top of my head and inhales my scent. “I know

you do. I wouldn’t expect any less from you.” He sweeps his lips

across my head again, then slants his face to the side and relocates

his lips to my temple. He kisses it delicately before traveling south to my cheek and then my jawline, sucking on my skin. My shoulder

shudders upward as his breath feathers against my neck. He kisses

me there too, sliding his tongue out and giving my skin a little

nick.

“Thank you,” he whispers against my neck as his arms

encompass my waist. His fingers press into my back as he steers

me closer, aligning our bodies.

I try to tip my head to the side to look at him, but one of his

hands cups the side of my neck and he secures me in place. “For

what?” I breathe as he strokes my collarbone with his lips, lightly

grazing his teeth along the skin.

“For saying it.” His voice is unguarded and he keeps

peppering me with kisses all the way down my shoulder. I have on

a tank top and some pajama bottoms and my skin is sensitive to

his hungry touch.

“It was the truth.” The last part comes out as more of a

whimper as he slides the strap of my top down while his other

hand glides up the front of my shirt, his cold skin mixing with the

heat I’m radiating.

He starts backing me up to the bed with his hand resting on

the outside of my bra. When the backs of my legs hit the edge of

the bed, he lifts me up by the waist and lays me down on the bed.

He draws back for a minute, staring down at me and I feel naked

under his penetrating gaze. But I’m not nervous. I know he won’t

hurt me. And I think I know that deep down, even if he can’t say it,

he loves me.

He opens his mouth to speak and I hold my breath in

anticipation. “You’re beautiful. And amazing.”

My cheeks grow warm at his compliment and I stuff down

the harrowing connection my memories have to the word

“beautiful,” because the one and only guy who’s ever said it to me

is Caleb. “Kayden, no I’m not. I’m just an average girl and I’m

happy with that.”

Shaking his head, he traces his finger down the arch of my

neck. “No, you’re way beyond average, Callie.”

I squirm under his gushing. “I’m not that great.”

“No, you’re amazing and perfect and caring and beautiful.”

I offer him a small smile. “So are you.”

He kneels down on the bed so he’s straddling my hips.

“Those things you said on the phone… it had to be hard to say

them.”

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. “Not as hard as I

thought.” His face is masked and he looks perplexed as he

struggles for words he’s afraid to say, so I say them for him. “You

don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

His lips start to separate and I push up on my elbows, grab

hold of the top of his shirt, and crush his mouth against mine, so

he doesn’t have to deal with it just yet. Putting his hands out, his

palms slam against the mattress and he braces his weight on his

hands, stopping himself from smashing into me. His tongue

pushes between my lips and slips powerfully into my mouth. He

tastes like syrup and pancakes and smells like coffee and

snowflakes. I breathe in through my nose, inhaling the scent as I

kiss him. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and bites it

roughly, sending a searing ripple to the center of my stomach.

There’s freedom in his movements, from the way he kisses me to

the way he grabs at my breast. His happiness makes me happy and

that’s all I really need at the moment.

He draws his lips away, but before I can protest, he sits me

up and grips the bottom of my shirt, yanking it over my head, and

my hair falls to my shoulders. With a needy look in his eyes that

sends a coil up my legs, he reaches behind me and flicks the clasp

of my bra open. I notice there is a collection of rubber bands on

his wrist and I wonder if his therapist gave them to him.

He notices that I’m staring at them and he stares down at

them too. He slips his finger underneath one of them and flicking

it looks up at me. “They’re supposed to help me heal.”

I nod, looking into his eyes. “I know.”

A moment passes between us and then he’s kissing me

again, folding his strong body over mine as he pins me down

below him on my back. He pushes his knee between my legs and

skims his fingers up my inner thigh, propelling my body into an

uncontrollable frenzy. I open my legs and let him rub his knee

against me, probing my fingertips into his shoulder blades as he

tastes my neck with his tongue. Little moans keep fleeing my lips

as my body arches into his and unexpectedly he moves his legs

away from me.

“Don’t stop,” I beg and he slants his head to look at me. I feel

mortified for begging. And surprised at myself. “I’m sorry,” I

apologize, embarrassed.

“Don’t be sorry,” he says in a gravelly voice. He grabs my hip

and turns us to the side. Reaching his hand down the waistband of

my pajama bottoms, he slides his fingers deep inside me and a

moan leaves my lips as my body clings to his. He cups the back of

my neck and lures my lips to his, kissing me fiercely as he moves

his fingers inside me, and I end up screaming out his name.

Once I come down from the high, I feel embarrassed by my

outburst. My cheeks are warming and I know he can see it.

“You know you’re adorable when you blush?” he says,

outlining my damp cheeks with his finger.

I bite down on my lip. “I’m sorry I begged like that… and

screamed.”

He shakes his head and strands of his brown hair hang

across his forehead and shadow his forehead. “Don’t be sorry for

telling me what you want. I’ll give you whatever you want, Callie.”

Whatever I want? I want him to say that he loves me, but I

won’t ever make him give me that. So instead, I do something that

is so out of character for me that it shocks us both. I lift my hips

and start slipping off my pants, because what I want is for him to

be inside me.

He watches my every move with this animalistic look in his

eyes that I’ve never seen before and I’m pretty sure every speck of

my skin is flushed with heat. I take of my panties too and then just

lie there naked while he’s still fully dressed. Despite the fact that I’m blushing, it’s a huge step for me and the very fact that I did it says that I’m moving forward in my life. He starts tracing his

fingers across my cheek, then draws a line to my neck, his skin

searing hot when it reaches my chest. His eyes stay on me the

entire time as he strokes his finger across my nipple and my

breathing instantaneously picks up. He moves to the other one

and then heads downward, skimming his fingers across my ribs,

feeling each bump until he reaches my hip. It tickles, but in a good

way and the insides of my thighs are scorching so severely I have

to entangle them around each other to contain the heat.

He keeps his fingers on my hip as he swings his leg over me,

his eyes never leaving mine. Once he has a leg on each side of me,

he uses his free hand to reach around and tug his shirt off. I feel a little better now that he’s not entirely dressed and I’m not the only one naked. As soon as my fingers come into contact with the lines

of his lean chest muscles, his fingers drift downward across my

body. Instead of putting them inside me again, he directs his hand

to the upper part of my inner thigh.

He maintains my gaze, like he’s afraid that if he looks away I

might panic. “You can tell me if you want me to stop. You know

that, right?”

I nod. “I know. I trust you.”

Smiling, he moves his thumb back and forth and my body

begins to tremble. He continues to do the same thing, moving his

thumb up across my inner thigh, making a path across the center

of my legs, and then moving it to the other thigh. Back and forth,

his fingers never enter me, like he’s teasing me. And it’s driving me crazy, to the point that I’ve become mortified at the pleading

noises that keep fleeing my lips and the way my toes curl every

time he’s about to slip his fingers inside me and then retracts

them.

Finally, he moves his fingers away from my skin, and then he

watches me, panting, and his eyes are blazing with something I’ve

never seen before.

I don’t know what he wants from me, but I can’t take it

anymore. “Kayden, please, please don’t stop.”

Apparently that’s what he wanted, because a smile curves at

his lips. He undoes the button of his jeans, grinning the whole time

as he kicks them off. It’s weird to see him this happy, but nice too.

When he returns to the bed he lays his body down on top of me.

He studies my face for an eternity, like he’s memorizing it.

“What?” I ask, self-consciously.

He shakes his head, still studying me. I’m worried he’s going

to start going off on how beautiful and amazing I am, but the

corners of his mouth just quirk. “I was just thinking how I would

have never gotten here if it hadn’t been for you.”

I wiggle my arm free from my side and run my finger along

the outline of his jaw. “That’s not true. I didn’t even do anything

really.”

He turns his head and presses his lips against my palm. “Yes,

you did,” he whispers against my skin. “You saved me countless

times. Not just from getting my ass kicked or calling the

ambulance, but because you showed me that you cared.” He

shrugs and moves his mouth away from my hand, looking a little

embarrassed. “You showed me that I’m worth caring for.” His

eyebrows instantly knit. “But I want you to know that you don’t

have to stick around. I’ve still got a ton of shit I have to work

through, and you have your own. I don’t want to put that on you.”

I say the first thing that enters my mind. “Kayden, I love you.”

Then I press two fingers over his mouth, so he knows he doesn’t

have to say it back. The tremble in my heart matches the one in my

hand as I move my fingers away from his mouth.

His breath hitches and falters and then his eyes start to water

over. Mine pool with my own tears. It’s amazing how once

sentence—three single words, eight letters—can have so much

power. In a moment like this, even our breathing stirs the sorrow,

the agony, and the happiness that we’d both buried below our

hearts, underneath the immense pain.

I’m looking into his eyes and he’s looking into mine and I

wonder if maybe it wasn’t coincidence that brought me to him that

night in front of the pool house. Maybe it was fate that guided me

there so I could save him and he could save me and then it could

lead us here to this moment where we are both completely

content and free and glad we’re alive.

He starts kissing me and I feel his tears drip against my

cheeks and mix with my own tears. I open up my legs and he

keeps kissing me as he thrusts inside me, slowly and perfectly in

rhythm. I thread my fingers through his soft, damp hair, and then

move my fingers down to his cheek, feeling his stubble and the

slight unevenness of his jawline. His hands explore my body too,

touching every inch of it, his palms callously against my skin, but I enjoy every minute of it.

Sliding his hand to my knee, he tips to the side and brings

my knee up as he keeps rocking into me. I’m climbing higher,

faster, and my hands cling to him, gripping onto his shoulders. He

kisses me with more passion than he ever has before, delving his

tongue into my mouth and then sucking my tongue into his. He

bites at my lips, nibbles at my neck, and grabs at my breast until a

passionate fire combusts inside me. I cry out as I arc into him and

my head falls back against the mattress. I gasp, waiting for him to

catch up with me, and then I shut my eyes and breathe in the

moment, letting go of my second biggest fear and preparing

myself to face my first.

Kayden

I slide out of her and roll onto my back, feeling more of my

shield crack apart. As insane as it sounds, I’m somehow becoming

whole again—or becoming whole for the first time in my life. I

want to keep moving forward, putting myself back together again

and helping her heal too. I decide to take a baby step in that

direction and get up off the bed. She watches me walk across the

room naked and her cheeks are heating, which makes me smile.

“What are you doing?” she asks, pulling the sheets over her

body as she sits up.

I unzip my bag that I dropped on the floor near the door and

rummage through my clothes until I find it. The cold metal presses

against my palm as I round the foot of the bed and lie down

beside.

“What’s in your hand?” she asks as she reaches for my

fingers.

I let her pry them open and then watch her face twist as she

stares at the necklace in my hand. “I found it when Luke and I were

walking around in San Diego. It made me think of you,” I explain.

She peers up at me through her lashes, chewing on her

bottom lip. “How come?”

I turn my hand sideways and let the chain fall from my hand

and dangle from my fingers. At the end is a four-leaf clover,

stained a shiny metallic. “Because you’ve brought me nothing but

luck, Callie Lawrence.”

She immediately frowns. Sitting up, she brings her knees to

her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. “I’ve brought you

nothing but bad luck. You almost wound up dead because of me.”

I shake my head, then move behind her, putting a leg on

each side of her and sweeping her hair to one shoulder. “Every

single second I’ve spent with you has been worth it. Besides, I

probably would have wound up dead anyway.” She starts to turn

her head in shock, but I put my hands on her shoulders so she

can’t see past my arms. She can’t be looking at me when I say this.

“Before you, there was just pain and emptiness and I really didn’t

care if I lived or died. I was just there, existing at the surface of the water, not quite drowning but not quite able to breathe. And then

you came alone and I could finally breathe. Without you, I

probably would have just kept cutting until I finished my body off.”

“But so many bad things have happened to you since I came

into your life,” she says, sounding choked up.

“Those bad things were because of my own choices and

from problems that existed well before you came along.” I put my

lips beside her ear. “But you showed me something I’d never seen

before.” I kiss the tip of her earlobe and she shivers, her shoulder

moving upward against my cheek. “You gave me good… I’ve never

had good before.” I place a soft kiss on her neck and whisper, “You

showed me that it was okay to feel both the good and the bad. It

just took me a while to get it balanced.” I suck her earlobe into my

mouth, thinking about how she poured her heart and soul out to

me on the phone. I want to say it to her, to let her know that I feel the same way, but the words won’t roll off my tongue, so instead I

say, “I want to be with you, Callie, more than anything.”

Her head falls against her knees and she starts to sob, her

body heaving. I slide my arms underneath hers and then steer her

back with me as I lean against the headboard. I listen to her cry

and it matches with the rhythm of my heart. I feel how much I want

her—need her. I feel how much she means to me. I feel the pain

that coexists with my feelings for her. I feel how much I want to

run a razor down my arm, feel the skin split open, and watch the

blood pour out, and then I feel how much I don’t want to do that

because of her. I feel how much I want to live and be with her.

My heart opens up and I feel it all. Every single emotion

that’s ever been inside me starts pumping through my veins: the

good, the bad, the painfulness, the heartache, the loneliness, the

happiness, the need, the knowing that there’s more out there to

life than what I grew up with.

And for the first time in my life, I feel it all and tell myself

that, in the end, I’ll still be okay.

Callie

I cry myself to sleep and when I wake up, I feel different.

Kayden’s pressed up against me, with his arm around me, clinging

onto me like I’m the most important thing to him in the world as

he sleeps off his overwhelming day. I have a necklace around my

neck that he gave me because he thinks I’m good luck. Seth is still

gone and again I wonder if he has spy cameras all over the place

because it’s like he knows what he’d be walking into if he came

back to the room.

I also feel lighter—braver. I want to be free from the one

thing that still pushes me down. I want to tell my family about

Caleb, not just because I want them to know, but because I want to

free Kayden from the burden of letting his father buy Caleb off.

If I tell my family, then they’ll be on my side—and

Kayden’s—once they understand why he beat Caleb up. At least

that’s what I hope. Honestly, I have no idea how it’ll all turn out.

Maybe they’ll crush me and decide not to believe me. But

whatever the outcome, it’s time to face my worst fear and not

allow it to own me anymore. Then maybe Kayden and I can move

forward, together, with a little less weight on our shoulders.

I decide to check my voicemail but give up after the fifth

repetitive message and switch to texts. Skimming through them, I

come across one that catches my attention. After numerous

threats from my mother, she finally finds my weak spot, although

I’m not sure how she knows it exists.

Mom: Callie, I don’t even know who you are anymore.

You run off with those boys who are nothing but trouble. I’m

not going to let them ruin you and neither will your brother or

Caleb. We’ve all decided that Caleb should press charges. You

need to come home and side with this family. We’re going to

be there for him.

I drop the phone and get out of bed. I get dressed in jeans, a

long-sleeved thermal shirt, and my coat. I write Kayden a note and

leave it by the pillow.

Please don’t freak out when you wake up, but I had to tell

them by myself and I know you’ll understand. I’ll be back soon. I

promise.

Love,

Callie

I slip my shoes on and then sneak out the door, letting him

sleep. As much as I would love for him to come hold my hand and

be my security blanket, he’s already dealt with enough today and

I’m going to force myself to be brave all on my own. Besides, after

that message, I know my mom will attack him the moment he

steps foot in the house.

I walk the quiet streets underneath the clouds and the sun,

hoping that ultimately they’ll part and let the sun shine freely. This is all your fault, Callie. If you ever tell anyone, that’s what they’ll think. I keep walking, quickly and determinedly, one foot in front of the other until I reach my house. You better keep quiet. I swear to

fucking God, you’ll regret it if you don’t. The snow has been

shoveled from the driveway and my dad’s truck is parked in front

of the shut garage. The curtains are open and the steps have been

sprinkled with blue salt. One foot in front of the other. Just keep

going. I open the side door and stand in the doorway, taking in the

overwhelming memories rising in my head. Come with me for a

second, he says. I have a present for you, and I skip after him,

excited.

My mom turns from the sink. There’s a dishrag over her

shoulder and her hair is done up in a bun. Her skin is bare of

makeup and she has a pair of slacks and a pink sweater on.

“Callie Lawrence,” she says, tossing the towel onto the

counter and placing her hands on her hips. “Where the hell have

you been?”

I turn to my father sitting at the table, wearing a hooded

sweatshirt with the high school’s logo on it. He’s eating eggs and

toast and drinking juice and my brother is next to him, texting on

his phone.

“I need to talk to you,” I tell my dad in an uneven voice. I’m

not quite sure why I choose him, other than that we use to get

along really well when I was younger and I know he’ll be more

stable than my mother. “Alone.”

Glancing up at me with confusion in his eyes, he sets his fork

down and without arguing he rises from his chair. “All right,

honey.”

My brother scowls at me as he sets his phone down on the

table. “Aren’t you even going to tell mom where you’ve been?

She’s been worried.”

“It’s not important where I’ve been,” I say. “It’s only

important why I’m here.”

He frowns at me and then shakes his head before returning

his attention to his phone. My mom starts shouting that I need to

explain where I’ve been and I’m surprised when she doesn’t follow

my dad and me to the living room. Once I’ve settled down on the

couch, and he’s sitting in his tattered leather recliner across from

me, I give myself a final quick mental pep talk. I look at the photos around the room, the ones with our family and some even with

Caleb.

“That was fun, right?” I point at one photo of the two of us

wearing jerseys and standing in front of a stadium with smiles on

our faces. I was eight and I was happy.

He tracks to where I point and then a smile turns up at his

lips. “That was a good day.” His forehead creases as he looks back

at me. “Honey, your mother and I have been really worried… about

what happened that night and then you just ran away with those

boys you barely know.”

“Those boys are like my family, Dad,” I say truthfully. “They’ve

really been there for me.”

He fiddles with the string on his hoodie, tightening it and

then loosening it. “Yeah, they always seemed like they were good