Текст книги "The Redemption of Callie and Kayden"

Автор книги: Jessica Sorensen

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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

front of me, and his face softens. “Please, just one page.” He’s

using his sexy voice on me, the one I have a hard time saying no

to.

Sighing, I fan through the pages until I come across the

nonfiction story I’ve been fighting to get out of my head and into

coherent sentences. “This is the story I’ve been working on. I’m not

very far into it and I’m not even sure if it makes sense yet.”

He takes the journal from my unsteady hands. It’s the first

time I’ve let anyone read anything I’ve written and it feels like I’m letting him have full insight into my head. Holding it in his hands,

he clears his throat and begins to read aloud.

“Where the Leaves Go.” He glances up at me and smiles.

“Nice title.”

I shake my head and lie down on my back, staring at the

cracks in the ceiling and trying to still the tempestuous beat of my

heart. “Please just hurry. You’re making me nervous.”

He chuckles underneath his breath and then starts to read. “I

remember when I was a child being fascinated by the leaves. They

were always changing: green pink, orange, yellow, brown. And

then eventually, when the air changed and chilled, they turned into

nothing. They’d fall from the branches of the trees and either

crumble and become a part of the ground or blow away in the

wind. They never really had any power over their movements.

They’d just go with the weather and wherever the wind would take

them, helpless, weak, incapable of control.

I remember when I was young, about thirteen. It was a rainy

spring day and the raindrops were splattering fiercely against the

earth and the wind was howling. I was sitting at my window,

watching the street flood and the leaves get carried away with the

rage of the water. They were all a flourishing green, in the prime of their life, just blooming, yet the rain and wind was destroying

them.

But there were these two leaves stuck to my bedroom

window that wouldn’t budge. They remained in place through the

windstorm and the temper of the rain, even when the water was

falling so heavily I couldn’t see through the glass.

I kept staring at the leaves, unable to take my eyes off them,

fascinated by their determination, even when the sky darkened

and the window howled so violently it shook the glass of the

window. I kept thinking about how strong they were and how they

were only leaves. Pieces of a tree, a plant, these little things that couldn’t think, make choices, do anything of their free will, yet they wouldn’t give in to the wind and rain and leave that damn window.

In a strange way, I envied them, the determination, passion, sheer

will not to give in and let something else take them to the end of

their life.

At the end of the storm, I fell asleep in my bed. When I woke

up, the sun was out and the land was drying. The leaves that

stayed attached to the tree branches were green and dewy. To my

surprise the leaves were gone from the window and it made me

kind of sad and I felt hopeless. The idea that they could survive

against the storm was bringing me a sense of comfort.

However, when I look back at it now, I wonder where they

went. Maybe they didn’t give up and let the wind and rain take

them away. Maybe they somehow found their way back to the

trees. Maybe they reconnected themselves to the branches and

continued to grow and flourish even after their temporary break.

Maybe they were strong enough to take control of their lives

again, revive themselves from their approaching death, force

themselves to start breathing again…” Kayden stops reading and

looks up at me with an undecipherable look.

I take my journal from his hands and cuddle it against my

chest. “I know it’s not really a story, just my thoughts. But it’s all I can come up with at the moment.”

He nods and doesn’t say a word. He drapes an arm around

my shoulder and steers me with him as he lies down on my bed

and rests his head on my pillow. I nuzzle my face against his chest,

breathing in the scent of him as I hug my notebook. I listen to his

heart in his chest and shut my eyes and inhale and exhale with the

sound of it.

“Callie,” he says after a long stretch of silence has gone by.

I inch my face closer to him and place a kiss on his chest.

“Yeah.”

“I think the leaves made it back to the trees.”

Epilogue

Three Weeks Later…

Kayden

Virginia is a pretty nice place, green, with lots of trees and

wildlife roaming around. It’s a little warmer than in Wyoming. At

least from what I can tell. I’ve only been here for about an hour

and most of the time I was stuck in the airport. I flew out alone,

even though Callie wanted to come with me. As much as I wanted

her to, I didn’t need to disrupt her life and her progress. “I’m only going out for a week,” I told her. “And I think it might be

something I need to do alone.” She seemed a little hurt, but she

understood and let me go without any more discussion of it.

After a very strange, somewhat awkward reunion with my

brother at baggage claim, we got in his midsize SUV and headed

out to the freeway. He looks a lot like me, only older with thinning

hair and fewer scars on his face. He’s dressed in slacks and a polo

shirt and the inside of his car smells like fast-food.

We keep the conversation light for about the first ten

minutes, talking about school and his family, and then suddenly I

have to know.

“Why didn’t you ever call?” I ask, holding onto the handle of

the door for support.

He looks at me with the same green eyes as mine. “I tried to,

but mom and dad changed the number when I left. And then when

I did get it, they would never answer and if they did they would

hang up. I wanted to get ahold of you after you moved out… but I

don’t know… life just kind of got in the way.” He pauses and his

hands grip the steering wheel and he forces a lump down in his

throat. “How bad was it?”

I shrug, staring out at the warehouse lining the side of the

freeway. “I don’t know.”

He doesn’t press me for the details, but he can tell by my

tone that it was bad. And he knows about what happened in the

kitchen, when my father stabbed me, and that story tells a lot.

“Have you heard from them at all since they took off?”

I shake my head and place my hand over my side on the last

scar my father ever gave me. “No, but I wonder why… and where

they went. It’s like they were running away from something.”

He nods, with a pensive look on his face. “Yeah, I know… I

think it might be that they were worried you’d speak up.”

“What would it matter if I did?” I question. “Even if I did,

there isn’t a whole lot I could do. Even if the police believed me,

and I could press assault charges, he could get off by only paying a

fine. And he probably would, knowing him.”

Dylan shakes his head as he turns the car for an off-ramp.

“Try attempted murder or even manslaughter. He stabbed you,

Kayden—beat the shit out of you. He beat the shit out of all of us.”

He touches his cheekbone and runs his finger over a small straight

scar on his cheek. “Someone should have spoken up a long time

ago and not let him get away with it.”

Silence takes over as we both drift back to our childhood. It’s

weird being around someone who understands what it’s like.

“We were all scared,” I say quietly and he nods in agreement,

his eyes focused on the road. “How do you get over it? How did

you move on with your life?”

He shakes his head and slows the SUV at a stop sign. “I

haven’t yet, but it gets easier with more time away from him. That

stupid fucking power he has over you will go away.”

I suck in a deep breath and then let it blow out. I tap my

fingers on the door, watching the houses move by in a blur and

wonder what his place will look like. I know he’s married and

doesn’t have any kids. His wife is a teacher too. It seems so normal

and strange to me, considering how Tyler turned out. But I guess

that’s life. Not everyone ends up the same way, even if their

circumstances are the same, because not everyone thinks and

reacts the same.

Finally, he pulls the vehicle to the side of the road in front of

a field and shoves the shifter into park. I’m surprised though by

where we are, not by houses but by a prison that’s hidden behind

a tall chain-link fence with coils of barbed wire.

“Ummm…” I glance at Dylan, perplexed. “What are we doing

here?”

He turns down the stereo and takes his seat belt off. He

stares at the building for a really long time before he speaks. “You

remember dad talking about his dad sometimes and it always kind

of sounded like he pretty much treated dad the same as he did

us?”

I nod, staring at the guards outside. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, you want to know the truth?” he asks and looks at me.

His eyes are a little glossy and I wonder if he’s about to cry or

something.

“I guess so.”

“He was actually worse, if you can believe it. Dad had a

brother and his dad—our grandfather—killed him… beat him to

death.”

My heart stops beating inside my chest and for a moment

I’m thrown back through time into the kitchen. The knife enters my

side. It hurts. Not just the pain. It hurts because he’s my father.

He’s not supposed to do this to me. He’s supposed to protect me,

not destroy me.

“And now he’s here,” my bother says, nodding his head at

the jail.

I pause as I take in the building and the fence around it.

“How did you find this out?”

“I wanted to know… where we came from. Why we had such

a shitty life. Was it just a freakish fucking coincidence that we were born into a crappy home with crappy parents? Or was it

inevitable?” He pauses, staring at the fence and the sharp barbed

wire. Then finally he cranks the wheel to the side and flips a U-turn, the tires spinning as he floors the pedal and drives down the road.

I’m not sure what to do with what he said or if there’s

anything to do, but I have to wonder if I’ll end up just like my dad, just like he ended up like his. I wonder if Dylan thinks the same

thing. I wonder if he prefers physical pain over feeling emotions. I

wonder if my dad does. I wonder a lot of things at the moment

and it starts to pile up on my chest. Everything I’ve worked so hard

to get rid of over the last few months is returning, the silent storm stirring.

But then I wonder if my dad could have changed his life,

knowing the outcome. He could have made himself feel things and

be a better person, just like I can. I don’t know why I choose that

moment to do it. It’s probably a little fucked up and twisted, but

the need to get it out of me is more overpowering than anything

else. Instead of reaching for a sharp object, I reach for my phone. I dial Callie’s number and when I hear her voice the storm in my

chest calms.

“Are you having fun?” she asks with hope in her tone,

wanting me to be happy.

I take a deep breath and say it with all the emotion I have in

me. “I love you.”

She’s quiet for a moment and I can hear her breathing, in

and out. “I love you too.”

For a moment, everything makes sense in the world. For a

moment, the darkness in my life lights up. For a moment,

everything is perfect and still.

Callie

I have a silly grin on my face when I return back to the

benches. I just got off the phone with Kayden and he told me he

loved me. I wasn’t too sure about him going out alone to Virginia. I

was worried about him meeting another family member who

would let him down and hurt him. But it has to be going well.

Because he said he loves me. Loves me. I’m practically skipping.

Greyson, Seth, Luke, and I are at a basketball game. The

crowd is really loud, and whistling and shouting fill up the stadium, along with the sounds of sneakers scuffing along the court. The air

smells like peanuts, popcorn, and sweat.

“Where are Greyson and Luke?” I ask when I sit down in my

seat next to Seth.

Seth points down at the bottom of our section where Luke

and Greyson are standing near the railing, chatting about

something. Greyson keeps waving his arms animatedly and Luke

keeps shaking his head in disagreement.

Seth’s brown eyes scan my face as he reaches into his

popcorn bucket. “What’s with the silly grin, my darling Callie?”

My smile grows as I grab a handful of popcorn. “Kayden just

told me he loves me.”

He almost throws the popcorn bucket onto the floor as he

reaches to wrap his arms around me. “I’m so happy for you,” he

says, hugging me.

I embrace him back, laughing as we squish the popcorn

bucket between our bodies. “I’m really happy for me too.”

He pulls away with a grin on his face as he sweeps the spilled

popcorn off his lap. “I know you are, which is good. I really didn’t

want to kick Kayden’s ass.”

I laugh softly at the idea of it. “I’m sure Kayden’s grateful

too.”

A large man behind us starts yelling at Luke and Greyson to

“sit the fuck down!”

“Shut the hell up,” Seth chimes in, giving him a dirty look

over his shoulder as Luke flips him the middle finger.

I hold my breath until the tension clears and then Luke and

Greyson start talking again. Luke’s been hanging out with the three

of us for the last few days and always seems comfortable, never

out of place.

“Sometimes… I wonder if Luke…” I lean in to Seth and lower

my voice. “If Luke… likes… guys.”

Seth sits there for a moment, crunching on popcorn as he

chews noisily. Then he starts laughing so loudly it nearly drowns

out the crowd. Then he stops and says in a low voice, “Luke’s not

gay, Callie.”

“Are you sure? Maybe he’s just afraid to come out, like

Braiden was.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Seth’s shoulders slump with his sigh and he

shakes his head. “You want to know what I think?”

I nod and grab a handful of popcorn. “Yes, please share your

all-knowing thoughts.”

He offers me a smile as he leans into me and whispers, “I

think that Luke’s been through something that makes him more

understanding and accepting than the average person. And I think

that sometimes people misinterpret understanding and

acceptance and make it into something that it isn’t.”

He’s completely right and I feel terrible. “You’re right and I’m

sorry. I should never try to guess things about people.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says, jabbing me playfully

in the side with his elbow. “Besides, you’re one of those people.”

“What? Understanding and accepting?” I shove a handful of

popcorn into my mouth.

His smile lights up his whole face. “The kind of person who

can see things in a different light, who’s been to hell and back. The kind who has had and gave redemption.”

I return his smile with equal happiness as the crowd goes

wild around us, shouting and clapping and jumping up from their

seats over a three-pointer. Seth starts clapping and I move my

hands together, but then my phone rings from inside my pocket.

“Cumbersome,” by Seven Mary Three.

“It’s my brother!” I shout over the noise of the crowd as I get

to my feet. “I’ll be right back. He’s been trying to call me all night.”

I hurry down the stairs, making sure to move to the other

side when a group of guys comes walking up. Even through all of

the recovery, crowds and unfamiliar guys make me nervous. But

the important part is I’m here and not hiding.

I quickly answer it as enter the food area and the screaming

of the crowd fades out. “Hey,” I say.

“Hey.” He doesn’t sound happy, but he usually doesn’t. I’ve

actually noticed that my brother has a very grumpy tone, but that

it’s just him and shouldn’t be taken personally.

“Sorry I didn’t pick up earlier.” I head to one of the empty

metal tables in the middle of the room, sink down on a bench, and

rest my arm on top of the table. “I’m at a game and it’s loud.”

“It’s all right.” He gets quiet and then he sighs. “Callie, I don’t

know how to tell you this—and mom thinks I shouldn’t—but

you’re friends with Luke and you’re going to find out.”

A lump starts to form in my throat and I swallow hard to

force it down. “What’s wrong?”

He takes a loud breath and blows it out. “Well, after the

police searched Caleb’s house they found a few things… notes and

journals and stuff… and, well… do you remember Amy Price?

Luke’s sister? She was only a couple of years older than you and

she committed suicide when she was sixteen.”

“I didn’t know she… I didn’t know that.” My chest starts to

compress as I remember the one time Luke mentioned his sister.

“Well, she did and no one really knew why,” he says. “I

remember some of the kids in my grade saying she was a slut and

super weird and a pothead, but no one really knew her outside of

that.”

Change a few words and Amy’s story matches mine.

“Jackson, what was in those journals they found?”

He keeps puffing out breaths and I wonder if he’s smoking

or something. “Notes about people, you, her… and the stuff he did

to you… her… other girls.”

I sit there, frozen in time, like a statue made of cracked and

chipped stone. “How do you know this?”

“Dad’s friend, Denny, the cop, came over for dinner the other

night and told dad, even though he’s not supposed to talk about it

yet until further investigation. He thought dad should know since

there was stuff in the journals about… you.”

He keeps talking, but I barely hear him. I barely hear

anything over the sound of my heart. I’m not even sure what’s

striking the nerve. Whether it’s the feelings manifesting inside me,

that Caleb actually wrote about me, that he did stuff to others, or

that Luke’s sister killed herself… and that maybe… and that maybe

she did it because of her internal suffering. Maybe she just couldn’t hold on any longer.

I cut the conversation short and head back to the stadium. I

walk back to the bench and my eyes instantly go to Luke. He looks

at me and cocks on eyebrow with interest and I feel my heart

transfer to him. I don’t know how I think or how I feel. Because

even though I got my redemption, Luke’s sister wasn’t so lucky.

I grab at the clover hanging around my neck and hold onto

to it with every single speck of hope I have in me and I tell myself

just how lucky I am. Yes, I went through a lot of pain, heartache,

breaking. But I’m here breathing and my heart is beating. I’m

thriving. I’m not alone. And I’m loved.

THE END

About the Author

The New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

Jessica Sorensen lives with her husband and three kids in the

snowy mountains of Wyoming. When she’s not writing, she spends

her time reading and hanging out with her family.

Learn more at:

jessicasorensensblog.blogspot.com

Twitter, @jessFallenStar

https://www.facebook.com/JessicaSorensensAdultContemporaryNovels