Текст книги "The Redemption of Callie and Kayden"

Автор книги: Jessica Sorensen

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 9

#6 Run away—run to the beach

Callie

I’m confused. I can tell that Kayden wants to hold me, but he

keeps pulling away, fighting the urge to touch me. What we need

is a long talk so I can understand what he’s thinking and what he

wants, and so he can understand what I want because I don’t think

he knows. We need a week at a beach house with plenty of alone

time, which is what Seth and Luke are trying to give us.

Later that day, we’re in Luke’s truck, which is parked out back

of the grocery store. It’s getting dark, but the lampposts light up

the snow dancing from the sky. It’s the day after Christmas but it

still looks and feels like Christmas. The buildings around us are

decorated with various colored twinkle lights and the sidewalk has

flashing candy canes and wreathes bordering it.

“I thought Callie was joking about that,” Kayden says. I’m

sitting on his lap with my back leaning against the door. The

window is wet and my hair keeps sticking to the glass. “But by the

serious looks on your guys’ faces I’m guessing I was wrong.”

Seth squirms his shoulders forward and squeezes out from

between Kayden and Luke. He reaches in front of Luke, sticks the

end of his cigarette out the window, and ashes it into the snow.

“Why would we ever joke about going to the beach?” He turns

around and leans against the dash, angles his head back, and

stares up at the cloudy sky. “Does it constantly snow here? I swear

I haven’t seen it stop since I’ve gotten here.”

“From December to April,” I clarify as Kayden’s fingers sneaks

up to my face and he smooths his hand over my head. I can’t stop

my eyes from closing and an almost noiseless but embarrassing

sigh slips out. My cheeks start to heat, so I keep talking to distract everyone. “So are we going to do it?”

“Go to the beach? To San Diego?” Kayden asks with doubt in

his voice. I nod my head and soak up the comfortable feeling of

his hand on my cheek. “I’m not sure I can.”

My eyes open and he’s watching me. “Why not?”

He shakes his hand. “There’s just stuff… things I need to deal

with.”

“Can’t you deal with them at the beach?” Seth sits forward in

the seat and lowers his feet back onto the floor, and then he nods

his head at me. “With this beautiful girl over here?”

Kayden looks torn as he glances from me to Seth and then

out the front window and into the night. “I have something on

Monday that I have to be here for.”

“We can be back on Monday,” Luke chimes in, rotating the

defroster up as the windows fog. “That’ll give us four days of

freedom and that’s four days we don’t have to spend here.”

I stare into Kayden’s eyes and see something I don’t

like—overpowering fear. “We don’t have to go,” I say to him

because he’s the only one who matters at the moment and I can

tell something’s wrong.

He rubs the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, flipping

it down a little. “Do you want to go?”

“Only if you want to go,” I reply, and to add emphasis, I lean

in and whisper, “And you can go.”

He stares at me with the strangest expression, like I’m this

amazing, unique creature that no one knows about, and then his

mouth tilts up into a small but breathtaking smile. “I can go until

Monday.”

Seth squeals, claps his hands, and kicks his feet against the

floor as he screams, “Road trip, here we come!”

“Thank fucking God.” Luke sighs with relief. He cranks the

heat up and then flips the lever next to the steering wheel, turning

the wipers on. They move back and forth and back and forth,

wiping away the snow from the glass and making it dewy. “Now

we just have to go get everyone’s shit.”

“I’m good,” Kayden says as I sit up and put my feet on the

floor. He combs his fingers through my hair, gazing out the

window with his eyebrows knit. “I’ll just get some clothes and stuff

when we get there.”

None of us press him because it’s obvious he doesn’t want

to go home. “What about your bike?” Luke turns around and puts

his arm on the back of the seat, looking in the bed of the truck at

Kayden’s motorcycle obscured by a sheet of fluffy snowflakes. “You

want to take it?”

Kayden shrugs. “All I want is to not have to go home yet.” His

fingers fall from my hair and settle on my hip where he delves into

my skin just beneath the hem of my shirt. “So we can take it or

ditch it somewhere.”

Luke rotates back around in the seat and shoves the shifter

forward, the gears grinding a little before slipping in. “We’ll just

take it.” He presses on the gas, inching the truck forward. “What

about you?” He looks at me and then at Seth. “Do you guys need

to go get your stuff?”

I start to open my mouth to say no, but Seth interrupts. “I

don’t go anywhere without my kit.”

Luke doesn’t even bother asking. He just rolls his eyes and

aims the truck in the direction of my house. I watch the homes zip

by as I sit on Kayden’s lap, hoping I’m not doing anything wrong,

hoping I’m not doing more damage than good. Really, I don’t

know what I’m doing and all I can hope for is the best. It’s the

worst feeling in the world because hope has never been that kind

to me.

* * *

I rapidly get thrown into a state of anxiety when Seth and I

climb out of the car. There are four figures that I can see through

the kitchen window of my house and I recognize that the

dark-haired fourth member isn’t part of my family. My mom, my

dad, Jackson, and Caleb are sitting at the kitchen table as I walk up the driveway to the garage and Kayden is in the truck with Luke at

the end of the driveway.

I smell a storm coming in, like the aroma of rain that laces

the air before a thunderstorm. But the scent I smell is foul, like

dirty water that stains the grass after the rainstorm.

“What are you looking at?” Seth says, tracking my gaze to

the window of the kitchen. The lights are on and the inside can be

seen clearly. My mother is serving everyone, my dad is talking

heatedly, and Caleb and Jackson are laughing at him.

I shake my head, wrap my hand around his upper arm, and

haul him up the driveway. Seth is looking at me like I’ve lost my

mind, but I keep walking, step by step until we’re inside the room

above the garage. I flip on the light and shut the door, panting as I lean against it.

“This is so bad,” I whisper and then hurry for my bag. “We

have to get out of here now.”

Seth follows me at a slow pace and veers to the side for his

kit that’s in the bathroom. “What’s wrong with you, baby girl?”

There’s clanking as he gathers his cologne and razor from near the

sink. “You’re acting like a weirdo.”

I toss my shirts and a few pairs of jeans into my bag and then

zip it up. “There’s… there’s…” I can’t get it out and he steps out of the doorway zipping up the mini bag he carries his toiletries in.

“Callie, whatever it is, just tell me.” He drops the smaller bag

into the larger one on the bed. “It’s okay.”

“There’s someone in the house,” I sputter, dragging my bag

to the door.

“Obviously.” He raises his eyebrows at me and then

scrutinizes my bag. “Did you put any shorts or sandals in there? It’s going to be a hell of a lot warmer there then it is here. Plus, you

don’t want to walk around in the sand wearing sneakers.”

“I don’t own anything else,” I say and then swiftly shake my

head as I jerk open the door. “Seth, we have to go. Now.”

Everything’s about to fall apart, just like it did last time.

Seth rolls his eyes and slings his bag over his shoulder. “Fine,

but you’re going to eventually tell me what the panic is all about.”

He turns sideways and squeezes through the doorway.

I flip off the lights, close the door, and trot down the stairs

after him, wrestling my overly large bag down the steps behind

me. I should have left some of my stuff here, but I’m too afraid that Caleb or my brother or my mom will walk out.

I dash passed the side door, my legs nearly trotting in the

rush, but Seth snags my elbow as he slams to a halt. “Don’t you

want to tell you mother where you’re going?”

I glance at the side door, the light spilling through the

window in the center, and I shake my head. “I don’t think I should.”

His brow creases as he examines my face with concern. “Are

you sure? I know she’s been bugging the crap out of both of us,

but she seems like she’s going to panic if we just bail and not tell

her.”

My body ripples with a tremble when I see Caleb rise from

the table and head across the kitchen. “It’ll be okay.” My voice is

insignificant like the snowflakes drifting down from the starless

sky, touching the ground, and instantly melting.

“Callie, I… why are you shaking?” He glances back at the

house as the side door flings open. Pale yellow light floods the

darkness but then suffocates out like a flame as a tall figure

emerges in the doorway.

It’s Caleb carrying a trash bag in his hand. He’s probably

trying to win my mother over and she’s probably letting him,

because she always wants to see what she wants to see. Why is she

so blind?

Caleb’s demeanor doesn’t change as he steps out onto the

porch and into the snow, making sure to close the door behind

him to smother out whatever he’s going to say from my family’s

ears. “What are you doing out here? Standing out in the snow?”

His gaze cuts to Seth as he steps down a stair. “You got another

one, huh? Decided to dump that crazy football player after he

kicked my ass.”

“Fuck,” Seth breathes, suddenly understanding who it is. His

fingers plunge into my arm as he begins to tow me back, one foot

after another, the snow crunching beneath our shoes.

Caleb moves down a stair, reducing the distance between us

with a smirk on his face. His eyes are black like coals and his face is masked by the shadow created by the hood over his head.

Sometimes I wonder why he doesn’t seem to care or show any

remorse for what he did. What is wrong with him? Is he so warped

and split that he likes torturing me?

“Come on over here and introduce him,” he calls out as he

arrives at the bottom step.

“Fuck you!” Seth shouts, taking longer strides, practically

dragging me backward down the driveway as my tiny legs work to

keep up with him.

My legs feel like rubber and won’t work right and I keep

tripping over my feet. I wish I could find some kind of strength that has to be suppressed inside me and shout at him, take him down,

scream, throw things. Do anything to wipe the pleased smirk off

his face.

But in his presence I’m still the child he pinned down on the

bed. He has his hand forced over my mouth while he shatters me

into fragments. I allow Seth to haul me down the driveway toward

Luke’s truck, watching Caleb through the curtain of snowfall. His

eyes are fixed on mine and I feel tears beginning to leak out of my

own. I’m crying and weak and I want to crumble into the ground

and melt with the snowflakes.

“Callie.” The sound of Kayden’s voice snaps me back to real

life and the bigger picture.

I have more problems at the moment than how I feel, like

getting Kayden away from Caleb before a reenactment of that

night happens. I spin around and Seth’s hand falls from me.

Kayden is standing in front of the bumper of the truck with his

arms folded. His eyes are not on me but locked on Caleb. His face

looks like a shadow as he stands with the rays of the headlights

aimed at his back.

I shift my bag higher onto my shoulder and my shoes lose

traction against the snow as I run to him. His eyes don’t leave

Caleb even as I approach him and then he steps forward, dodging

to the side, out of my path. I drop my bag and before he can get

any closer to the house jump up, fling my arms around his neck,

and latch onto him.

Every muscle in his body hardens as I hook my legs around

his waist, clutching onto him like I’m a leech because that’s what I

need to be at the moment—something he can’t get rid of without

a lot of work.

“Callie,” he says in a low tone, not holding onto to me. “Let

me go.”

I rapidly shake my head. “No, please just get back into the

truck.”

His hair brushes against my cheeks as he shakes his head.

“Callie… I can’t.” He sounds strangled and I really believe that he

thinks he can’t walk away.

“But you can.” I breathe against his ear as I bury my face into

his neck. “For me.”

It’s like I’ve discovered the magic words and unexpectedly

he’s backing up toward the truck, slowly, but he’s going.

Then I hear Caleb say, “Oh, so she didn’t ditch you. I guess

she’s turning into a little slut then.”

“Please, please, please,” I chant as he starts to walk forward.

“Please don’t do this. I need you. I need you. I need you.” I close

my eyes as I hear a door creak open and then another one

opening. Suddenly everyone is shouting.

I hear Luke’s voice first. “Why don’t you shut your fucking

mouth and go back inside before you get yourself hurt again.”

“Oh, I’m so going to press charges now,” Caleb replies. “The

epic, favorite—and apparently suicidal—football player is going

down.”

And then I hear my mother’s. “Callie Lawrence, you get in

here this instant. I told you to stay away from him.”

I feel Kayden’s chest stirring with mine as he seeks oxygen

with me, treading forward and then backward, like he can’t decide

where to go or what he wants to do.

“Callie Lawrence!” my mom shouts and her voice echoes

through the streets and dogs start to bark. “It’s Christmas break.

You should be in here with your family.”

But I am with my family. I summon every last ounce of

courage I still have thriving inside me, push back from Kayden’s

shoulders, and forcefully meet his gaze. “Please take me out of

here,” I plead in an uneven voice. The anger fleetingly diminishes

in his pupils as he blinks at me. “I can’t do this without you.”

Just like that we connect again and our hearts beat together,

erratic and untamed but still together. And that’s all that matters.

It’s just him and me, shielded from the shouting and yelling going

on around us. He backs up to the truck, holding onto me, and

opens the door. Without taking his eyes off me, he climbs in and

slams the door shut. The warm air engulfs us as we hold onto each

other. Seconds later the driver’s-side door opens and Seth hops in

and Luke follows. The shouting enters the cab, but the cranking of

the heater and stereo stifle it. As we’re backing away, I realize that I’m not alone in the world. I have a truck full of people who care

about me enough to not ask what the fuss was about. One day I’ll

give them all hugs for it.

Kayden starts smoothing his hand down the back of my head

and his pulse is beating through his fingertips. He keeps kissing

my head and mutters that it’ll be okay. I’m not sure if he’s talking

to me or himself.

When I feel the truck driving down the road, I finally look

back at the house. My mom is standing in the middle of the

driveway in the snowfall without a jacket or shoes on. She has to

be cold, but her face looks red in the dim porch light. My dad’s on

the steps, dressed in jeans and his favorite jersey, scratching his

head. And Caleb is nowhere to be seen.

I wish that’s how it always was. I wish he would just

disappear and my mom and dad would wave at me from the

driveway, letting me live the life I should have had a long time ago.

Kayden

I can tell she’s worried about me and I’m pretty sure that if

we were alone, she’d tell me that we shouldn’t go on the trip. She

thinks I’m going to break apart, but the only time I’m not

completely broken is when I’m around her. At least that’s what I’m

thinking while Luke and I wait for Seth and her to come out of the

garage.

Luke lights up a cigarette as we wait. Neither of us speaks as

he inhales and exhales puff after puff and the heater drowns out

the chill in the air as he cracks his window.

“Okay,” he says as he sticks his arm through the open

window and ashes the cigarette. “I just want to know one thing.”

I stare at the garage in front of us and at the headlights

lighting up the tire tracks in the snow. “And what’s that?” I ask,

unsure if I want to hear his response.

He puts the end of the cigarette back into his mouth as he

tosses the pack onto the dash. He sucks in a deep breath and

exhales the smoke as he relaxes back in the seat. “Was it worth it?”

“Hitting Caleb?” I check without looking at him.

The smell of smoke gets stronger as he sucks in another

lungful. “Yeah.”

My gaze elevates past the stairway to the upper section of

the garage. The light is on inside of the small room and I can see

Callie and Seth’s figures moving back and forth in front of the

window. I remember what Callie and I did the last time we were up

there, how she felt while I was inside her—how I felt.

“Yes.” It’s a small word that doesn’t really mean anything, yet

it does. In fact, I think it means something more than I’m ready to

admit to myself.

He puts the cigarette into his mouth again and the paper

withers and glows orange as he sucks in a deep drag. “So… are you

doing okay with everything?”

I drum my fingers on top of the door handle. “Yeah, I’m

okay.”

He clips his fingers around the cigarette and removes it from

his mouth, breathing out the smoke and it fills up the cab. “Are

you sure… because if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m here.”

It’s the deepest conversation we’ve had and I think I know

why we’re having it. Luke’s older sister, Amy, took her own life.

Right after it happened, he got really wasted one night and started

crying in front of me, blaming himself because he didn’t notice any

signs.

I nod. “I promise I’m good.”

Luke and I stay quiet until Callie and Seth come out and I

start to relax again. Then all hell breaks loose as the side door to

the house swings open.

“No fucking way,” Luke says as Caleb steps outside. “Shit,

Kayden…”

I’m already climbing out. My fists are balled, adrenaline is

thrashing in my body, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Every emotion I felt that night consumes me again, the good and

the bad ones. Caleb sees me and smarts off, adding fuel to the

flames raging inside me. I’m about to do something that’ll

probably ruin my life forever when Callie throws herself onto me.

She keeps begging me to stop, for her, please. But Caleb keeps

going, calling her a slut, and I want to kill him. I actually feel it, the need to beat him to death, and for a divided second it’s all a feel,

possessed to make it happen.

Then Callie’s gazing at me with her beautiful blue eyes and

she looks like she’s about to cry. She utters six little words that

change my life and scar my soul forever.

“I can’t do this without you,” she whispers, hugging me like

I’m her lifeline.

All of a sudden I know I can’t do anything to him, because

it’ll hurt her more than it’ll probably hurt Caleb. So I back away and climb into the truck, holding onto her to keep myself from falling

into the darkness.

* * *

No one speaks for most of the drive. It’s like we’re all too

afraid to be the first voice heard and too afraid of what might

come out of our mouths. Callie has her head resting on my

shoulder and she keeps running her finger along the inside of my

wrist. I know she can feel the healing scars on my skin and it makes

me uneasy, but I don’t pull back. If she needs to touch me, then

she can touch me.

Her phone keeps going off, playing Blue October’s “Hate

Me,” but she keeps silencing it.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispers, and then minutes later she drifts

asleep, practically balling herself onto my lap because there’s

barely any room to move with four people squished in the single

cab. But it is what it is and we don’t need any more.

Luke drives for half the night, determined to get there as

quickly as possible. I offer to drive a few times, but he declines

each time. The radio is blasting a little Chevelle and the clouds

fade the closer we get to the ocean and the stars dot the sky. I

wonder if it’s possible to fix myself and turn into someone else.

Someone I’ve never known. Someone who doesn’t cut themself,

who doesn’t want to feel pain over emotion, someone who can be

worthy to hold her like I am right now.

I glance down at Callie in my arms. Her hair is hanging in her

face and she’s hitched her leg over mine. One of her hands is on

my lap and she holds the other one against her chest. I know I

need to tell her everything but I’m not sure how she’ll handle it.

She’s barely said her own secrets aloud, which is why I took

matters into my own hands, why I beat up Caleb, and why I was

willing to beat him up again in the snap of a finger.

And I don’t regret what I did.

I never will.

* * *

“Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty.” Something heavy slams

into the side of my head. I jolt awake, flinging my arms in the air.

The sunlight strikes my eyes and I blink several times against the

brightness. Luke is standing to the side of me with the door open

and a shit-eating grin on his face. “Shit, I thought you were never

going to wake up.”

I glance to my side at the bag he must have thrown at me

and then at the sand stretching out in front of me that connects

with the ocean. The backdrop of the bright blue sky mirrors the

water and blinds the hell out of my eyes. I’ve been to the beach

before, during the few times my mother and father decided we

needed to try and be a family. It always ended shitty, with

someone getting pissed off, and the trip would get cut short.

“How long have we been here?” I yawn and I set my feet to

the ground and climb out and stretch my arms above my head.

Luke leans into the cab, grabs the duffel bag, and slams the

door shut, swinging the keys around on his finger. “Like ten

minutes. Callie told me to let you sleep, but I didn’t see the fun in that.”

I’m glad that he’s being an ass and not treating me like a

suicidal freak. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

He lifts his eyebrows as he heads for the front of the truck.

“No problem.”

The beach house belongs to Luke’s father—I know that

much. What I’ve never got was how his father could afford it, and

yet he couldn’t afford to pay for Luke’s tuition for school, among

other things. I asked him about it once and all Luke did was shrug.

He doesn’t like to talk about his dad, even before his parents’ got

divorced. I’ve met him only once, when I was six, right when Luke

and I became friends. He seemed a little off, like he didn’t know

what to do with himself or Luke. A week after I met him, he packed

his stuff and left. Luke’s probably visited him, like, ten times since then and each time he comes back, he never talks about his trip.

And I never ask.

The wooden porch bounces slightly as I walk on it, heading

toward the side door of the house. The screen is shut, but the door

behind it is agape, so the warm air can flow in. I hear the waves of

the ocean rolling against the sand and music playing from inside

that mixes with the sound of Callie’s laughter.

“Warning,” Luke says as he pulls open the screen door. “Seth

has already claimed one of the two rooms that has a bed. Callie

says she’ll bunk up with him, but there’s no way in fucking hell I’m

sharing with you.”

I walk inside and the door swings shut behind me. “I’m fine

with sleeping on the couch.” As much as I would love to share a

bed with Callie, hold her, spend the night with her, it’s probably

better if I don’t, because I’m unsure how close I want to get to her

yet.

“Good, because I hate sleeping on the couch.” He heads

across the kitchen to the hallway with his bag slung over his

shoulder and I’m left standing alone. There are a few barstools

around a small island and a sitting window that shows the view of

the beach. I take a seat on a stool and pull one of my legs up,

resting my arm on top of my knee. I remember when I was little

the ocean was one of the most amazing things I’d ever seen. I was

fascinated by the way the waves rolled up and washed away the

sand, leaving their imprint on the world. Sometimes I would stand

right at the edge and let it crash against my feet as I considered

taking one more step and my feet would eventually move forward.

One more step and it’d take me away—

“Kayden.” Callie’s voice rises over my shoulder. I hear her

walk closer to me and feel the warmth of her body when she’s

right behind me. “Are you okay?” She places a hand on my

shoulder and there’s a tremor in her fingers.

I remember the first time I kissed her, up in that playground

carnival ride, on the bridge, pressed up against the net. She

trembled under my touch and I loved every second of it, yet hated

it because it made me feel things I wasn’t ready for.

“I’m fine.” I plaster a fake smile on my face and turn around.

“I was just thinking.” I reach up and move her hand off my

shoulder, slipping my fingers through hers as I get to my feet.

“About what?” she wonders with a tilt of her head and

strands of her brown hair fall into her eyes. “About what happened

last night… with…” She struggles to say his name and I quickly let

her off the hook to remove the pain in her eyes.

“No, not that.” I sweep her hair back with my free hand and

then let it drift down to her cheek and I enjoy the feel of skin. “The last time I was by the ocean.”

She lays her hand over mine as it lingers on her cheek. “How

old were you?”

“Twelve.” My mind flashes back to the feeling of the ocean

and the power of the violent waves. I shake the feeling from my

head. “You know what? I don’t really want to talk about it.” My

hand drops from her face and I bring her hand down with mine.

“What do you want to do today?” It seems like such a stupid

question when we have so much shit hanging in the air.

But she just smiles as she swings our arms and plays along

with me, giving me what I need. “We should probably go shopping

so you won’t have to wear the same clothes the entire time.”

“Shopping, huh?” I arch an eyebrow and sigh. “All right, let’s

go shopping.”

Callie

What an insanely ordinary thing to do, I think as we walk up

the busy street fenced by buildings and neon-colored shops and a

mob of people who are dressed in beachwear. I feel overdressed in

my fitted blue shirt and skinny jeans. My Converses are not made

for a sidewalk that has sand in it and I keep wishing I’d brought my

sandals the way Seth had suggested when we were packing.

I thought it was an absurd thing to say, but now looking at

the sand everywhere, I do want to sink my toes into it. I’m staring

at my feet as I walk and dodge from left to right through the

crowd. I’m never comfortable in crowds because I always wind up

getting touched, no matter how hard I try not to be. But as I keep

getting prodded in the shoulder by men and women I realize my

internal cringing instinct has diminished over time.

“I told you,” Seth whispers in my ear.

I blink up at him and he has a huge smile on his face. His

eyes are hidden behind silver sunglasses and he has on a thin red

T-shirt, jeans, and sandals. “Told me what?”

“That you’d regret not wearing sandals.” He sticks his arm

out for me to take and I loop it through mine, like we are two

ordinary people taking a nice stroll down the sidewalk. Only we’re

not and I’m reminded of that when he opens his mouth again.

“Do you… do you want to talk about it?” he asks as we pass

by a store displaying a collection of sunglasses in the window.

I shake my head, taking in the stores beside me, trying not to

think about how I felt seeing Caleb again, the things he said to me,

or the fact that my mom has called and text me a least a hundred

times and left me countless messages I refuse to check. “I’m okay,”

I say. “And despite the fact that I don’t have shorts or sandals, I’m enjoying the sun and sand.”

He grins at me and it beams in the sunshine. “Well, I’m glad.”

The smile fades. “But if you need to talk…”

“Then I’ll come to you.” I point to the candy canes hanging

on the streetlamps just above our heads. “It’s kind of strange

seeing Christmas decorations without snow on the ground.”

“Indeed it is.” His phone rings inside his pocket and he

reaches his hand in to silence it without even looking at it.

I eye him over, but he only smiles, and I don’t press,

returning the favor of limited questions because that’s what he’s

doing for me.

Kayden and Luke are walking just a little ways in front of us,

talking and laughing. Luke keeps checking out girls as they walk

by, particularly the ones dressed in tight dresses.

“I don’t understand how they can be so comfortable dressed

like that,” I say as Seth jerks me to the side to swerve me around a

man who’s dressed as a taco and handing out florescent-pink

flyers.

“How can who be dressed like what?” He steers us back over

to the center of the sidewalk.

“People.” I glance around the busy street with my shoulders

slouched. “I mean, most of the girls are wearing nothing.”

Seth laughs at me and then draws me closer to him. “I think

you should try dressing like that.”

My eyes widen and I start to panic as I take in the limited

fabric on almost everyone. It’s not like they’re naked or even in

swimsuits but a lot of women are wearing short dresses and it

makes me uneasy. “Seth, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to wear a

dress.” I think back to Caleb and how he called me a slut on the

porch. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

“I doubt that,” he assures me with certainty. “I think that one

day you’ll be just as comfortable in your own skin as all of these

people are in theirs.”

I frown with doubt. “I don’t think so.”

He scans the street and his eyes land on a tall woman with

flowing blonde hair the color of sunflowers who’s wearing a

white-and-pink sundress. Her hair is dancing in the light breeze

that smells like salt and fish and everything that is linked to the

ocean. “How about something like that?”

I shake my head, breathing in the fresh air to still my

accelerating heart. “No way.”

He fires a death glare at me, his brown eyes darkening as his

eyelids lower. “Why not?”

“I was twelve the last time I wore a dress,” I say quietly, with

my head held low as shame washes over me. It was pink and had

flowers on it and I loved spinning in it.

Suddenly he understands. “Oh Callie, I’m sorry.” He hooks a

finger below my chin and forces my eyes away from my feet.

“It’s fine.” I shuffle my feet along the boards of the slightly

arched bridge as we walk over it. “You didn’t know.”

He’s quiet for a while and I return to staring at my feet. “How