Текст книги "Lighter"

Автор книги: Gia Riley

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

“I GUESS THIS WAS A mistake.”

Sobbing, I slide down the closed door into a heap on the floor. He could have said anything to me and I would have been okay. Anything—except that. Like a knife slicing my skin open, his words gut me. Kipton’s words are just like his.

But he’s not.

I’m too scared to want him, yet terrified that if I walk away; I’ll never feel the way I feel when I’m with him. “We aren’t a mistake, Kipton.” I cry into my hands. My body shakes from the pain of his words. He doesn’t know what I’ve lived through. He doesn’t know the emptiness inside me and I don’t know how to let him in.

What have I done?

Maybe I’m the one who made the mistake.

I kicked him out.

Crouching tightly into the corner of my room next to the door, I hyperventilate. Nobody understands. Love has always been my number one enemy and now that I met Kipton, I don’t know how to find acceptance. I’ve spent so many years hating, I’m not sure how to do anything else. Because I do—care about him. Yet I’m petrified of the backlash love has shown me over the years—of being let down and dismissed time and time again.

I take deep cleansing breaths through my nose and out my mouth. My chest isn’t quite as tight—my fingers only slightly tingling. Replaying Kipton’s gentle touches in my mind over and over, my heart rate decreases, the sweating stops, and finally my anxiety levels out. I rest my head against the wall and the tears return without any provoking. But I’m not spiraling with anger this time. No, this time, I’m simply sad. It’s over.

The door opens and I’m shifted farther to the side. Cara slips in quietly. I should move, but I don’t have the strength.

“Sophie, what’s going on? Where’s my brother?”

“He’s gone,” I whisper.

She sits down on the floor next to me. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

Unsure of what to tell her, and not willing to have another panic attack, I have to get out of the room. Standing up, I grab my bra from the bed. Replacing it, I put on my running shorts and a tank top. The only thing that will take my mind off the past hour is exercise. Kipton’s gone and that’s not going to change.

“Sophie, answer me. What’s going on?”

“I’m going for a run.”

“Are you allowed to do that?” She questions.

“Does it matter?”

“Sophie. Of course it matters.”

Grabbing a sports drink from the small fridge, I chug it before I leave. I’ll need it to get my body through the workout. “I’ll be back later. I need some fresh air.”

“Okay,” She responds quietly. I pass Drew on my way out and am thankful Cara has him. If either of us deserves happiness, it’s her.

Once outside, I pause to look around, deciding which route to take. Still not entirely familiar with the town, I do my best to remember which way will avoid the wrestling house while still getting me to the gym. Out of the corner of my eye, I do a double take when I spot Kipton hugging a girl. He reaches his hand up to touch her hair and Déjà vu hits me hard. Thoughts of catching Blaine making out with her at his locker resurface, but I push them away before they have a chance to consume me. He will not ruin me—step. He will not hurt me—step.

The gym’s deserted by the time I get there. I skip the weight room and go right for the balance beam—my favorite. I’m thankful for the peace and quiet; although I’m not sure being left alone with my own thoughts is safe right now. Running my fingertips through the leftover chalk on the beam, I hoist myself up to sit on it. Straddling my legs around each side, I propel myself upward into a handstand. The sensation of being upside down makes me slightly dizzy, but I do it anyway. Inhaling deeply, I know without a doubt this is where I belong. I’ve been missing the rush of adrenaline—the accomplishment of learning something new. The only other thing I can compare it to is being intimate with Kipton. He sends me to heights similar to the thrill of competition.

But I don’t deserve him and I never will.

LEAVING SOPHIE’S ROOM WAS ONE of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The emotion on the other side of the door leaves me confused and angry. If she’s so upset about telling me to leave, then why is she pushing me away? Her actions conflict with her words and I’m more determined than ever to figure out what’s going on inside her head.

Deep in thought, I’m oblivious to the meeting I walk in on in the rec room. I excuse myself though with an apology for the interruption. Once outside, the fresh night air relaxes me slightly, but not enough. Tonight I’ll need a few drinks to take the edge off.

“Kipton! Wait up.”

Turning around, I notice a cute brunette hurrying after me. Looking vaguely familiar, I figure I know her from one of the parties at the house. Praying I haven’t slept with her and don’t remember, I wait for her to speak first. I’ve been known to suffer from foot in mouth syndrome.

“I thought that was you. At least I was hoping so I wouldn’t look like an idiot,” she says.

Upon closer inspection, I have no clue who this chick is. “Hey, what’s up?” I adjust the brim on my hat and stuff my hands in my pockets jingling the loose change inside. Hopefully she says something to clue me in.

“How’ve you been? It’s been awhile.”

“Pretty good. How are you?” Okay, so I knew her a while ago. That doesn’t help.

“You have no idea who I am do you?”

Laughing, I put my hand on the back of my neck while looking down at the crack in the pavement. “Honestly, I’m not one hundred percent positive. You look familiar, but this campus is huge. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, I’ve changed. We had freshman English together.”

“Wait, Emily. Right?”

Playfully punching my arm, she smiles bigger this time, “You do remember.”

Hell yes I remember. I had the biggest crush on her, but she was dating some asshole on the football team already. She’s a local. “We wrote that god awful short story about ghosts and battle fields for our final project. It’s been a few years, come here.” I pull her into a friendly hug and she laughs.

“That was awful! I’m impressed you remember.”

I touch the strands of her hair, flipping up the ends. “I was thrown with the hair color change and well, you um, grew up.” She used to be a blonde and is now sporting a huge rack.

Throwing her head back in laughter, I’m instantly taken back in time to a place when things were fresh and easy. College was beginning and I had my entire four year academic career to look forward to. Being a senior, the pressure of the real world constantly breathing down my neck is a mind fuck. “You’ve grown up too, ya know.” She takes an appraising view of my body and under normal circumstances, I’d invite her into my bed without a second thought. Considering I only left Sophie’s a few minutes ago, that’s not about to happen. Instead, I smile at the compliment. “I have to get back to this sorority meeting with some of the freshmen pledges, but we should hang out sometime. That’s if you’re available and all.”

I like her style. A chick who isn’t afraid to take what she wants, unlike someone else I know. Sophie’s face flashes into my thoughts, but I push her away. The same way she pushed me out the door.

“You and the quarterback didn’t work out?”

“God, no. He’s a certifiable asshole.”

“Let me get your number.” She hands me her phone and I text myself from it, then text her back. “There, numbers are exchanged.” I’m not interested in her sexually, but Emily’s a cool chick and we used to have fun in class. “Maybe we can meet up for lunch sometime for old time’s sake.”

Giggling, she looks at her phone like it’s been encased in diamonds. “Sounds good.” She stops laughing and leans in to hug me again. “You should text me tonight.”

“I just might.” The night’s still young for college life, but my head’s not in the right place to entertain her. Not to mention, I still haven’t given up on Sophie. Not entirely, anyway. Winking at her, I turn and walk away.

“Bye, Kipton.”

I’m not more than a hundred yards away from the dorm when I sense Sophie’s presence. I don’t know what it is or why, but I turn around and see her jogging away from the dorm. She’s not supposed to be running or exercising until next week.

My gut reaction is to go after her, even if only to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. The anger and fresh defeat encourage me to do the exact opposite, but remembering the way she moaned my name a short time ago, my decision is made for me.

I’ll never catch up to her, but she stays within my sight the entire way. I’m relieved when she slows down before stopping in front of the gym. I hang back a ways, hoping to blend in as I hide under the darkness of the sky. After she goes inside, I wait a few seconds before I follow her.

Dumbstruck, I watch her flip around on the balance beam. Delicate yet powerful, she does each trick with ease and for the first time I see how talented she is. In no rush, she leaps from end to end; her beautiful body making her movements appear effortless. Making sure I stay in the shadows, I’m in complete awe. When she’s finished, she flips off the end. Landing hard, she reaches up and holds her head. Instinctively, I bolt from my hiding place to make sure she’s okay.

Sophie’s leaning against the side of the beam still clutching her temples. I forget she has no idea I’m behind her and when I rest my hand on her waist, her scream echoes off the rafters. Flailing her fist into my face, she lands a solid punch to my left eye. “Holy hell, Sophie. It’s me!”

“Shit! I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know you were in here?”

“Well now you know.” I rub my eye and can already sense a headache brewing. “You have a solid right hook for as small as you are.”

She hops up onto the beam and sits down, bringing her closer to my eye level. I move in and place my hands on either side of her. Her small body is easily encased by mine. “Why are you following me?” she questions.

“Because I saw you running and was worried you’d hurt yourself.”

Releasing her messy pony tail, she blows a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “You didn’t look too worried about me while you were chatting it up with that girl. Got her number and everything.”

She’s jealous and I happen to enjoy every second of it. It reaffirms everything I already knew. “You saw that?”

“I did.”

“It wasn’t what you think, Sophie.”

She uses her pants to wipe some leftover chalk off her hands. “You sure about that? Did you make plans?”

“No.”

“No you aren’t sure, or no you didn’t make plans?”

I love that she needs to ask me for specifics. “No, Sophie. We didn’t make plans. In case you forgot in the half hour since I was inside of you, I want you.”

She sucks in a deep breath, but keeps the questions flowing. “You hugged her.”

She’s so stubborn. “I told you it wasn’t what it looked like.”

She cocks her head to the side trying to play tough. “I’m supposed to believe that?”

I know it’s wrong before I even say it, but I say it anyway. “Like I’m supposed to believe you don’t want me? Or do you only fuck and run?”

She turns her head away, refusing to acknowledge me standing right in front of her. Tossing my words back at me, she says, “it wasn’t what it looked like.”

I reach up and make her look at me so she comprehends every word I’m saying. “Then don’t judge me and I won’t judge you.” I inch closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She has no place to look, but into my eyes until I hug her and rest my head against her stomach. Brushing her fingers through my hair, I’m hopeful she’s ready to acknowledge what’s going on between the two of us. But much like a moment is, it’s over before it has a chance to multiply.

“Kipton, I have to get going.”

Damn it. “Why do you keep running, beautiful?”

She shrugs. “For exercise.”

“You know what I mean. Why do you keep running from me.”

I search her face for any clue about what to do next. Her resolve slowly crumbles right before my eyes, but as fast as it disappears, she’s fighting to regain control again. Before she can come up with any other ideas, I kiss her. It’s not slow, innocent or forgiving. It’s a claiming kiss as my lips tangle with hers so roughly our teeth clash a few times. Sophie has to be mine. Placing my hands under her ass, I’m ready to hoist her off the beam and around my waist until she freezes and pushes me back.

“I can’t do this, Kipton. I’m sorry.”

“Sophie. Don’t run. Stay with me. Be mine.”

She softly whispers, “It’s the only thing I know how to do right now.”

I need to know why. “Let me teach you how to stay.”

She looks pained when she says, “Please, Kipton. Forget about us. It’s easier that way.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

“Then I’ll make you.” I recoil like she punched me again, this time in the stomach. She spins around to the other side of the beam and hops down. Grabbing her shoes, she runs out of the gym as fast as her legs will carry her. But I don’t try to follow her this time.

I may not have taken her seriously when she kicked me out of her room, but I know now it’s a done deal. Anything I have left to say will fall on deaf ears.

She wins. And I hate to fucking lose.

THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS PASS by without having spoken to Sophie. Cara’s asked me to come by her room a couple times, but we always settle for meeting at the coffee shop instead. I can’t risk running into Sophie outside of class after the way things ended. I’ve been trying to erase her from my memory, even going as far as to make out with a few random chicks at last week’s party. It didn’t work. None of their mouths felt as incredible as hers. It’s effortless with Sophie when she decides to let go.

For the first two weeks after our sexual explosion, I was checking in with Cara on a daily basis about Sophie’s progress. Unfortunately, she was benched another week after admitting her dizziness hadn’t entirely subsided. Knowing how upset she must have been, I desperately wanted to contact her on my own. I tossed that thought aside the day she switched partners in astronomy. She wasn’t kidding when she said she would make me forget her. Little does she know her actions have the exact opposite effect on me, the distance only making me want her more.

Cara assures me Sophie’s been throwing all of her extra time into running and going to the gym, much like I have. She sees her in passing, but they haven’t spent much time together the past three weeks. Of course that earned me an I told you so of epic proportions and a reminder of why Cara had wanted me to keep my distance in the first place. Briefly I regret messing up their relationship, but not enough to take back the desire I still have for her. Because let’s face it, if Sophie came to her senses, I’d still want her.

There’s a party at the house tonight that I’m not sure I’m up for, but know I need to attend. If there’s one way to forget Sophie, it’s to get drunk and make a new memory with someone else. Although it’s the same damn thing every week, drink, get drunk, and wake up with a raging hangover, it beats staying up all night thinking of her. Not wanting to drink on an empty stomach, I decide to see if my sister wants to go to dinner beforehand. I’m also man enough to admit I’d like to find out what Sophie’s doing tonight.

The number committed to memory, I dial without scrolling through my contact list. “Hello?” It’s a dude.

“Drew?” I question

“No, man. This is Tyler. Who you looking for?”

“My sister, Cara. Is she there?”

“No, she’s at dinner with Drew. They left about twenty minutes ago. Want me to tell her you called?”

“No. I’ll call her tomorrow.” I should end it and hang up here, but I’m a glutton for punishment apparently. “Is Sophie there?”

“She is, but she can’t come to the phone right now.”

“Why not?”

“She’s in the shower. Can you call back a little later?”

I know what she looks like in that pink towel, and it pisses me the fuck off to know he will too. I don’t know who Tyler is, but I don’t like it. At all. “No thanks. I’ll pass.” Without another word, I hang up. Tonight’s party is looking better and better by the second. In fact, I know the perfect solution to my problems. Not bothering to waste another second, I dial Emily’s number. I need to have some fun because this whole not giving a shit thing isn’t working out.

“Hello.”

“Hey Emily. It’s Kipton.”

“Well it took you long enough. I assumed you weren’t interested.” I hear the teasing tone in her voice and can sense her smiling on the other end of the line.

“Exactly the opposite. In fact, I’m very interested in seeing you tonight.”

“You are? Well, I’m very interested in seeing you too,” she confesses.

Unfortunately, she knows she’s a hot piece and can get what she wants with little effort. I’ll play her game for now. “I’m glad to hear that. There’s a party at my place in a couple hours.”

“Okay. Do I need to bring someone with me or am I yours for the night?” She’s still direct and easy. Exactly as I planned.

“That’s up to you, but you may be occupied for a little while. Your friend’s free to join us if she’s into it.”

“I like the sound of that, Kipton.”

Holy shit. I was joking but hey, the more the merrier, right? I play it cool even though the only chick I really want in my bed is Sophie. But I’m a guy regardless and my dick is in full agreement that a threesome would be hot as hell. I’m human, not a saint.

You only live once, right?

I’VE BEEN DOING A DECENT job of avoiding Kipton. Astronomy is the hardest because he spends most of the class staring at me. I don’t even have to look at him to know he’s doing it. He wasn’t happy when I made up another lie to convince my professor to switch lab partners as well as my seat. Blaming it on a conflict of interest, I was able to build a case of how it was causing strain in my relationship with my roommate. As it turns out, getting caught making out in the planetarium actually worked in my favor. While it won’t be nearly as fun to map the sky with Oliver, the brainiac from England, at least I won’t be tempted to make out with him.

Along with angering Kipton, I also let down Coach Evans. My body finally passed inspection with the team doctor, but it only took one routine on the uneven bars to send my equilibrium into shock all over again, sidelining me for another week. Frustrated with my uncooperative balance, running has been my saving grace and the only thing my body seems to tolerate without an all out war. I still get headaches off and on, but nothing intense like the first week after my concussion.

Tyler, the captain of the men’s gymnastics team, has been sidelined with a nagging ankle injury. We’ve been training together in the weight room while everyone else is in the gym working on their routines. Understanding how important it is to get back to training, he’s been helping me come up with an awesome conditioning program that will impress Coach once I’m at full strength. I’ve already toned up more than I thought possible and have built a friendship in the process. Finally my body is beginning to work with me instead of against.

Tyler’s girlfriend goes to school about an hour from here, so they don’t get to see each other as often as they’d like. From the second I heard he was attached, I knew he was safe. Under normal circumstances, I’d be hesitant to open up to another guy, especially after the way things escalated with Kipton. But Tyler is more like the brother I’ve always wanted. In fact, he walked back to the dorm with me tonight after our workout to borrow my psychology notes. He’s lucky I’m the queen of note taking and have almost every word the professor spoke written down in my notebook. He’s busy scanning through each page, picking out the most important topics, while I shower.

With it being Thirsty Thursday on campus, Cara’s been trying to get me to go to a party with her all week. I told her I’d consider it. The last thing I want to do is risk running into Kipton, but I can’t keep pushing her away. Eventually, I’ll have to see him again in a social setting. While a month of not speaking has been helpful to keep my training on track and my anxiety low, it’s been pure torture at the same time. A part of me is excited to catch a glimpse of Kipton.

Since we had sex, I’ve fallen asleep to memories of our connection almost every night. By replaying him kissing me over and over, I’m able to fall asleep in a blissful state of hyperawareness. On nights I get lucky enough, we meet up in my dreams and get even more comfortable with one another. I never push him away when I’m asleep. If only I could be the same girl during the daytime.

Finishing up my shower, I change in the bathroom so I’m not naked in front of Tyler when I return to my room. It would be disrespectful to his girlfriend, not to mention he and I don’t operate that way around each other. It’s refreshing.

I open my door quietly, so I don’t interrupt his studying. “How’s it going?”

“I’m finishing up. I don’t know how you manage to write everything down, but I’m thankful you do. This will make catching up so much easier. Although next time, I’m using a copy machine.” He shakes out his writing hand and I laugh.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad they’re useful to someone because I like taking notes way more than studying them.”

“I don’t like it either. Oh, before I forget. Kipton called.”

Freezing in place, my face heats. Tyler doesn’t know everything about our history, yet I’m embarrassed at the mention of his name. So much that my hands are shaking causing me to drop my towel twice while trying to hang it up on the hook in the closet. I take a deep breath before responding, making sure my voice is even and nonchalant. “Was he looking for Cara?”

“Yeah. He asked for her, but he asked for you too after I told him she left with Drew.”

I spin around on my heel in surprise. “He did?”

Smiling, Tyler packs up his notebook and places mine on my desk. “I assume you two are well acquainted.”

“Somewhat. He’s Cara’s brother.” I start applying my makeup so I have to look into the mirror and away from Tyler’s knowing eyes. Even though he suspects something, I’m grateful he answered the call. I have no idea what I would have done if I’d been the one to hear Kipton on the other end of the line. Knowing my typical response to his voice, I probably would have panicked and hung up on him.

“And?” he questions.

“What do you mean?” I play dumb hoping he drops the subject.

“Nothing. Nevermind.” Thank the lord.

I finish my makeup and quickly dry my hair before tossing it up in a ponytail. I’ll add some curls to give it some life before I go out tonight. “You ready for dinner?”

“I’m starving. What do you say we have a cheat meal and get some Tex-Mex? There’s a great place right off Main Street.”

Shit. That’s close to Kipton’s house. “Sure. Sounds delicious. I could go for a taco.” In reality I’m not sure how my stomach will hold up. Since ending contact with Kipton, my nightmares have come back in full force. Almost every night I’ve been rushing to the bathroom in the middle of the night, replacing horrible memories with the calmness of a purge. The after effects have been making eating difficult with my stomach often protesting what I put inside it.

The walk is quiet at first before Tyler breaks the silence. “You okay, Soph?”

“I think so.”

“It was the phone call wasn’t it?”

I nod my head. “He’s a hard guy to forget.”

“Why do you have to forget him?”

“I have my reasons. It’s complicated, I guess.”

“It usually is when it’s right.”

“Seriously? I thought it was supposed to be easy when you’re with the right person.”

“Nope. I’m with the right girl and never get to see her. If that’s not complicated I don’t know what is.”

Here I am worrying about avoiding Kipton and Tyler would do anything for a chance to see his girlfriend on a daily basis. “I’m sorry. That would really suck. You must miss her a lot.”

“I do.” For a brief moment his own protective shield falls, but he doesn’t let it stay that way for long. “But enough of the serious shit. Let’s eat ourselves into a food coma.”

“I’m game.”

It turns out I couldn’t stop at one taco—or two. Inhaling my entire main dish along with corn bread, beans, and rice, I’m stuffed by the time we leave the restaurant. The flavors were outrageous although harsh on my scratchy throat. It’s nice to taste something other than the bland dining hall food though.

“You want to stop for frozen yogurt while we’re at it?” Tyler asks.

“I can’t eat another bite, but if you want some, we can.” Silently I pray he doesn’t want to stop. My stomach can’t handle it.

“I guess you’re right. We did enough damage with the tacos.” He rubs his distended stomach and I laugh.

“I’ll race you back.” Taking off, I turn this into a game when in reality, I’m only running because I’m close to throwing up.

“Sophie!” He yells after me. Not one to pass up a challenge, he takes the dare and sprints alongside me with ease. “Can we stop now? I’m going to throw up if I keep this pace.”

“You wimp. Are you going to let a girl beat you?”

“Hell no!” He kicks it up a notch and zips past me. His body inches further and further away from me. Spotting the dorm in the distance, I keep it in my sights knowing that’s the end goal. No match for his longer legs or speed, we meet up again by the fountain. “So what do I get for winning?” he questions triumphantly.

“The honor of knowing you can kick my ass any day of the week.” I clap for him and continue walking. “In running that is. I’d wipe the floor with you on the beam.” It’s my best event and he knows it.

“Considering guys don’t even compete on the beam, Sophie. I’d say you’re right about that.”

He walks me to the front door and gives me a hug. “Thanks for the notes.”

“Thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome. See you tomorrow.” We part ways and I run inside the rec room, finding the first available bathroom. After some trial and error, I’ve discovered it’s the least used bathroom in the dorm. As expected, the stalls are all empty and I waste no time sticking my fingers down my throat, helping my body find relief. It doesn’t take much of my own effort before I gag repeatedly, the heat of the spices from the tacos burning my throat and nose. I try to slow down, to ease the stinging pain, but it doesn’t help. Combined with the acidity of my stomach, I’ve created a volcanic eruption of molten lava. I knew it was a bad idea to eat that much considering I’ve been struggling with soup.

I’ve gotten better at gauging when I’ve completely purged. There’s no specific evidence, but rather a notion from within. Satisfied, I wipe the tears from my watery eyes, the exertion causing every muscle to tighten up. I reach for the flusher and pause. Gasping, there’s blood in the toilet and on the back of my hand. It’s happened before, but never this much. With my throat comparable to the grit of sandpaper, I know I have to give myself a rest from vomiting. This isn’t healthy. But I feel ten times better now that I’ve gotten it out of my system. It’s not the same high that comes with a real purge though; this is done out of necessity rather than to right a wrong.

“Was that you in there? Jesus, Sophie,” Cara says.

I hate being caught. It makes me feel even more shameful than I already do. “My Mexican fiesta didn’t agree with me at all.”

She eyes me warily, but says no more about the subject. “Are we still going out tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. That’s if you still want to go.”

“You’re not sick?” She questions.

“Not anymore. I’m doing better actually.” I’ll be one hundred percent as soon as I chug a Gatorade and brush my teeth.

She claps, her excitement spilling over to me. “Okay. I’m so excited to hang out again. Let’s leave in an hour. I have to stop by Drew’s quickly, but I’ll only be a minute.”

I flick my ponytail. “Sure. I’ll start working on this mop of hair.”

My mind still reeling from seeing blood in the toilet, I turn my attention to my hair and work on making myself look presentable. If I do run into Kipton tonight, I don’t want to look like shit. Maybe someday there will be a chance for the two of us to reconnect. Until then, I’ll continue to visit him safely in my dreams where I don’t have to worry about if he’ll leave me, or grow to hate me.

“Do you want to borrow something to wear?” Cara asks as soon as she returns to our room.

“I know you won’t approve of anything I have.”

She laughs and shakes her head in agreement. “Here, wear this jean skirt you wore last time and try this tank top with it. You can wear the same boots too.”

I hold up the top, taking in the sparkly sequins lining the front. Is she trying to make me look like a disco ball? “The same skirt and boots? Won’t people notice?”

“I hate to break it to you, Sophie, but your clothes didn’t stay on long enough for anyone to notice other than asshat Caleb. Please try to keep your distance from him tonight. You have a better shot of staying clothed that way.”

Rolling my eyes, I know she’s right. “I can’t argue with you there. There will be no excessive drinking or nakedness tonight, Cara. I promise.”

Laughing she snorts. “You said that last time and look what happened.”

Man she’s going for the jugular tonight. “You made your point, Cara,” I remind her.

“Sorry. Kipton won’t let anyone else touch you anyway.”

“He won’t be keeping tabs on me all night.” Will he?

“You are so clueless, Sophie. My brother still has it bad for you.”

“Not anymore.” I made sure of that.

“You do realize that avoiding him won’t work forever and eventually you’re going to give in and have wild monkey sex again.”

“Cara!” I clutch the top to my chest as my mouth hangs open in shock. “What do you mean again?”

“Oh come on, I know you two did it. Now you’re both avoiding each other and it’s because of me. So tonight I vow to change that. I’m reuniting you both, making it clear that I don’t have a problem with you two dating. I thought I had already made that clear, but apparently not. You two are a pain in the ass when you’re tiptoeing around one another. Make out already! You’re sad. I see it in your eyes. I don’t want you to be.”

Feeling the blood drain from my face, I sit down on the edge of my bed. “Maybe I’ll stay in tonight. You go without me.” I don’t want her to play matchmaker. This has nothing to do with her opinion of the two of us together. It’s about my choices—how I need things to be for my own sanity.