Текст книги "Lighter"

Автор книги: Gia Riley

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CARA’S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED I’m not going to the party tonight, but there’s no way I can risk it after the speech Coach gave me today. If I intend on stepping up my conditioning, the place for me is the gym, not a party.

As I’m finishing writing Cara a note, letting her know she can go ahead without me tonight, anxiety fills my body to the point the pen is shaking between my fingers. I hate letting people down, especially since we have to live together. I can’t picture Cara acting spiteful or angry because of my decision, but we hardly know each other yet. Anything’s possible. Then there’s Kipton to consider. But gymnastics is why I transferred to this school—it has to come first.

Just as I’m finishing signing my name to the note, the room phone rings. Without the caller ID I’m used to on my cell phone, I’m nervous about who could be on the other end of the line. “Hello.”

“Hey.”

A warmth rushes through my body from head to toe from the sound of Kipton’s voice. I’m racking my brain for something to say, but considering he called me, I’m at a loss. Instead of saying something flirty or settling for something interesting, I breathe into the receiver.

“You still there?” he questions.

“Yeah. I’m here.” Barely.

“What are you wearing?” he whispers.

His voice is low and deep with his words morphing the original warmth I was experiencing into fire. My arms are tingling and my heart dips like I’m flying down the first drop of a roller coaster ride. “Um, what?” I look down to assess my outfit. “I’m wearing my team warm ups.”

Playfully laughing, he says, “Relax, Sophie. I was kidding.”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Cara isn’t here. She’s still at the library,” I blurt out.

“My sister is in the library?” From his skeptical tone of voice, this must be a rare occurrence.

“That’s what her note says.”

“I’ll have to find out which guy she followed in there. She never makes it easy for me. Anyway, I called to talk to you. You’re still coming tonight, right?”

He called to talk to me? My mouth is suddenly so dry. I try to wet my lips with my tongue, but it’s no use. I panic about what to tell him. “Actually, no. I can’t make it. Something came up.”

“Sophie.” My name sounds so sexy when he says it.

“Yes?”

“I want you to come.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I invited you, didn’t I?”

Holy shit! I want to go so bad. If only it was that simple. Coach Evans would flip if he knew I went out partying. It’s irresponsible yet exactly what I want to do after hearing from Kipton. But I can’t let Coach down. I have to get into shape as quickly as possible or I’ll get tossed off the team. Bummed, I tell him the truth. “I have to go to the gym. My conditioning is in need of some serious help.”

“Is this because I saw you sniffing your pillow? Please don’t be embarrassed, Sophie. I thought it was adorable.”

I hadn’t even thought of that until he brought it up. “Well, that wasn’t my finest moment, but I have to get in shape. Coach gave me a warning today.”

“On the first day?” he asks seeming genuinely interested. “What a hard ass,” he adds.

“Yeah. A few form tips and that I need to condition harder. You know, work on the weights and cardio. I was sucking air big time today. It’s my own fault for slacking over the summer.”

“You lift? You’re pint sized, Sophie.”

“Very funny. You’d be surprised how strong I am.”

“I’d love to find out,” he mumbles. Although his words are jumbled and not meant for my ears, I hear them loud and clear. I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or flirtatious though. “What time will you be done at the gym?”

“Um. I’m not sure. I’ll probably run for a half hour and then do a circuit on the weights.”

“That still leaves plenty of time after you finish. Come by for a little. You know you want to,” he whispers through the receiver.

I want to so bad, but I can’t. “Kipton, that’s not a good idea. I have to go.”

He sighs in defeat, “All right, be careful.”

“I will. Have fun tonight.” I hang up the phone and want to kick myself. A large part of me didn’t want to turn down the invite because guys like Kipton normally don’t give me a second glance. I convince myself he’s just being nice so Cara isn’t alone tonight. It has nothing to do with wanting to see me for himself. Guys like him don’t fall for girls like me—especially if he knew the truth. Nobody wants to deal with the ugly truth.

I’VE SPENT THE LAST HOUR and a half sweating my ass off. Of course I went overboard with my workout hoping I’ll whip myself into shape that much faster. But now, the only thing I want to do is take a cold shower and crawl into my bed.

As my tired body inches closer to the dorm, the walk is the exact opposite from earlier today. While six in the morning is subdued, eight o’clock at night is rowdy. Everyone around me is getting ready to hit the town for a night of drunken debauchery. There’s a couple walking hand in hand; kissing passionately every few steps. At the rate they’re going, they won’t make it off campus anytime soon. To my left a bunch of girls giggle as they stroll down the sidewalk in their tank tops and short skirts. A guy with the longest dreadlocks I’ve ever seen wizzes by me on his skateboard, forcing me off the path and into the grass. Everyone seems to have a place to be—except me. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly missing the few close friendships I had to leave behind in Ashland. Instead, I’ll have to settle for another movie and an early bedtime.

My stomach growls loudly at the thought of buttery popcorn, reminding me I skipped dinner. Although bummed, I suck it up. So what if I have to miss a few parties and go to bed early. There are much worse problems to have.

With everyone leaving the dorm, the elevator is waiting when I press the button. Inside I stare at the shiny metal wall, processing my defeated reflection. Today might not have gone as smoothly as I wanted in the gym, but tomorrow can only be better. I’m always stronger than I give myself credit for.

I’m surprised when I open the door to my room to find Cara still inside curling her hair. I figured she’d be long gone by now considering how excited she was about going to the party. “Sophie! Hurry and get a shower. I won’t take no for an answer. You had your work-out. Now let’s go find us some cowboys!”

I toss my gym bag on the floor and start chucking my sweaty clothes into the hamper. I’ll have to check out the laundry room sometime tomorrow. “Did you wait here for me?”

“Don’t make me beg, Sophie. I don’t want to go alone and you need to have some fun. You worked your ass off today and deserve to let loose a little. I won’t let you throw away the best years of your life. Now let’s go drink cheap beer and make out with guys we won’t remember in the morning.”

I laugh at her and as tired as I am, I debate my options one last time. Kipton’s voice replays in my mind, he looked so hopeful as he was asking me to come. The triumphant look when I agreed was exhilarating. I’ve wanted to be included for so long, I’m afraid if I blow this chance it won’t return. Just this once. “I’ll go, but I can’t drink. And only for an hour. Then I have to get to bed.”

“I’ll take whatever I can get! It’s been a long ass summer and my roommate last year was a gamer who never left her computer. I’ve finally landed a normal roomie and I intend to take full advantage. Go get ready!”

“Okay!” Rushing through my shower ritual, I realize how exciting it is to actually be doing something age appropriate with my night. I’ve always wanted to experience a real college party. It’s taken me two years of college to get to one, but I’m finally going.

Knowing Kipton will be there has me wanting to look irresistible. Maybe if I look hot enough he will see me as more than his sister’s roommate. The other rational part of my brain knows I don’t do relationships and catching his attention for longer than a minute tonight probably isn’t in the cards. With his sinfully delicious looks, I’m sure there’ll be a flock of hungry vultures swarming him all night. For all I know, he has a girlfriend. Surely someone has claimed him for their own.

Staring at my half full closet trying to figure out what to put on, I choose my favorite pair of distressed jeans with a simple black V-neck shirt. Hoping to dress it up a little, I wear my favorite Alex and Ani bracelet. My lucky horseshoe necklace is also draped delicately around my neck. It was a present from my mom the day of my first gymnastics competition. I won my level that day and have worn it every day since.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Cara questions. I didn’t realize she was watching me, but she looks appalled by my choice. Sure it’s simple, but I don’t have any tiny skirts that show half of my ass. I’d rather keep Victoria’s Secret a mystery.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Glancing down at my shirt, it looks nice enough.

She puts her hands on her hips and huffs. “How do you expect the guys to notice you if you’re dressed the same way they are?”

“I’ll have you know I bought both of these items in the juniors department, not the mens.”

“I’m sure you did. Now let’s sex you up a little. Here put this on.” She tosses me an itty bitty jean skirt with a frayed hem. It looks more like a remnant of fabric than something meant to be worn on its own. Thankfully I’m extra short, so it ends up covering more of my ass to thigh ratio than the average girl.

“Here. Wear this tank.” She hands me a pale pink camisole that looks simple. I slip it on right as she tosses a see through floral top at my head. “Add that over top of the tank. It’s country chic. You’ll fit right in, Sophie.”

I inspect the shirt. It’s forgiving compared to the skin tight tank top. “Can I wear my flip flops with this?”

She gasps at my request. “No! You can wear a pair of my boots. Guys love this look. Trust me. They’ll be mentally undressing you the second they see you.”

I try to stretch out the tank a little, feeling constricted by the spandex in the fabric, but it bounces right back. If I wanted to be uncomfortable I’d put a leotard on. “Don’t all guys picture chicks naked, though? I don’t think it matters what I have on.”

Cara snorts. “It matters, trust me. But they’d rather see your clothes on the floor and you in their bed.”

I pause and glare at her. “I’m not getting in anyone’s bed tonight, Cara.” I chance a peek at my reflection in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. I’ve never worn an outfit similar to this one. I’m so girly.

“Never say never. Let’s go.”

Dressed in Cara’s clothing and wearing some of her makeup, I tug on my skirt making sure I’m covered up. This version of Sophie that’s heading to her first party is the exact opposite of the one that walked into Johnson Hall a short forty five minutes ago. In true Sophie fashion, I start doubting my decision the closer we get to the party.

“Stop fidgeting, Sophie. You look seriously hot. I’d do you.”

“I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth next, Cara, but thank you.”

“I call’em like I see’em. Don’t worry, I’m not into girls. I like the cock too much.”

Shit. She’s exhausting.

Cara walks inside without knocking, not that they’d hear it over the music anyway. I should follow her, but I’m still debating turning around and walking home.

“Get in here, Sophie.”

“Okay. Jeez.” Here goes nothing.

Shuffling into the small kitchen, I’m immediately caught off guard when there’s a door being used as a table for beer pong. Being extra careful so we don’t spill any drinks, we side step the small crowd. Cara grabs two cups next to the keg and hands them to the guy manning the tap.

“Two new faces. What’s your name, beautiful?” he asks Cara.

“Cara,” she says. She even giggles when he winks at her. He certainly didn’t have to work too hard for that.

“Who’s your friend?” he nods in my direction. I duck my head and suddenly take interest in the boots I’m wearing. They’re too big and hard to walk in.

“This is my roommate, Sophie.”

“Here you go, Sophie. Just for you.”

Awkwardly, I stare at the cup of beer he’s holding in his hand and debate the easiest way to say no without looking like a loser. “That’s okay. I’m not thirsty.”

“Oh, come on. It’s just beer. Or do you like the harder stuff? I can get you some of that if you want.”

Although I have no desire to drink, I succumb to peer pressure and accept the cup he offers. I’ll dump it down the drain in the bathroom as soon as I find one. Coach would flip if he knew I had alcohol tonight. It’s also louder than I expected in here and so damn hot. I’m starting to get claustrophobic as more and more people continue to pile into the small space.

“So, you’re new here? I’d remember a gorgeous face like yours,” he adds.

“Yeah, I transferred this year from Tennessee,” I reply nervously. He’s not my type at all. I could tell the second he opened his mouth to flirt with Cara.

Cara slings her arm around my shoulder. “Can you believe she’s never been to a party before?”

I don’t miss his shocked expression. “No shit. Then let me officially welcome you to the hottest spot on campus. I also insist on giving you the grand tour.” He offers me his arm like we’re at the prom or something. I look at him cautiously while he waits for me to latch on. “I don’t bite, little lady. Unless you want me to.”

“No, thanks. I’m good.” I shift my cup to my left hand and accept his offered arm. It’s a little sweaty but he still smells good, thankfully. Cara is walking beside me for all of thirty seconds before someone wraps her in a gigantic bear hug. She laughs in hysterics as he spins her around. I slow down to wait for her, but we get separated in the mass of bodies. I tug on my tour guide’s arm, but he doesn’t stop until we come to a tiki bar in the living room that’s lined up with bottles of liquor for the choosing.

He leans down and asks, “what do you want to drink?”

I raise my red solo cup. “You gave me this beer a few minutes ago.”

“Then you need to drink faster. Let’s do a shot.” He hands me a Dixie cup filled with red Jell-O. It smells like cherries, my favorite. “Down the hatch,” he tells me. He’s smirking while he watches me swallow.

Immediately I gag. “That’s strong! Did you put the whole bottle in there?”

“It’s a little Jell-O and a whole lot of vodka”

I chug the only thing I have to chase the alcohol, the beer. It’s equally repulsive. “My mouth tastes like shit. Do you have some water?”

“No water here. Want some jungle juice?”

Juice sounds safe but I’m not stupid. I know this particular kind is laced with something strong. I set my beer down, knowing I won’t be taking another sip. Now that I’ve tried it, I know I’ll never be a beer girl. “Does the juice taste like ass too?” I gesture toward the cup of beer.

He laughs at me and shakes his head. “No. You’ll love it. It’s fruity.” He lifts a trashcan lid, and I assume he’s going to throw my cup away. Instead, he chugs the rest of the beer in my cup, grabs the ladle hanging from the side of the Rubbermaid bin and pours juice into my cup straight out of the trashcan.

“Don’t worry, it’s clean. I washed it with soap and water earlier today and we buy a new one for each party.”

Cautiously, I take a small sip of the juice. All I taste is fruit punch and I sigh in relief. If there’s any alcohol in it, it must be heavily diluted. This is a drink I can easily tolerate.

He fills up his own cup and asks, “better?”

“Much.” It’s strange not seeing any familiar faces as I look around the room. Sipping my drink, I sway back and forth to the music. Pitbull is yelling “Timber” and the crowd on the makeshift dance floor is going wild. We played this song at my old gym to pump ourselves up for competition. I stare off into space, reminiscing about my old teammates who I miss terribly. They’d never be out partying right now.

“You want to dance, Sophie?”

“I’m not ready for that yet.” I appreciate the offer, so I try to make small talk instead to let him know I’m not a total bore. I nudge his arm to get his attention. He leans down to hear me. “You never told me your name.”

“It’s Caleb. Drink that up and I’ll pour you some more. Then we can go get some air.”

Air sounds perfect right about now. I chug the rest of my jungle juice and it goes down without a fight. It’s delicious. Once I’m finished I hand my cup over to Caleb. He dumps a little clear liquid into it instead of juice.

“What’s that?”

“The shot of the night. We call it a bender. Everyone has to try one.”

I don’t want any more shots, but he holds it in front of my face and waits for me to take it out of his hands. The quicker I get this over with the faster I can get some air. I toss it back and although it’s strong, I kind of like it. Warming me from the inside out, I take another.

“Good girl.” Caleb pulls me by the hand through the crowd to our next stop. There’s still no sign of Cara. I would be worried if we weren’t at her brother’s house, but she probably knows a lot of people here. We walk up a flight of steep stairs. At the top, he opens the window and crawls through the small opening. He holds his hand out for me to grab onto. There’s no lady-like way to get through in a skirt so I slide through the narrow space the best I can. Once through, I’m left standing on a small fire escape with a view of the entire main street. The breeze is refreshing, but with nobody else within earshot, I’m nervous about being out here all alone with him.

“So, you’ve really never been to a party before?” Caleb asks.

“No. I’ve never had time.” It’s the truth. Gymnastics keeps my schedule packed.

“You had time tonight?”

“Cara forced me to come. I was going to stay in.”

Unexpectedly, he reaches out and cups my jaw in his hand, running his thumb over my bottom lip. “Your lips are bright red from your drink. I want to bite them.”

I back away from his touch and he releases me. He’s a little too forward for my taste, but I don’t want to be rude. “You said you don’t bite, Caleb.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe I lied.” He takes a step closer to me, eyeing my body up and down. It’s sending up a bright red flag.

“Can we go find Cara?”

He takes another step closer, closing the distance between the two of us entirely. “You don’t have to be nervous, Sophie.” He reaches for my hand dangling at my side.

“I’m fine, but I came with Cara, so I should hang out with her too.” My arms are starting to tingle and my lips are numb. “I need to sit down.” I find a spot on the window ledge and set my cup down next to me. A bead of sweat runs down the center of my back and I fan my face trying to create an extra breeze. My long hair is sticking to the back of my neck. Lifting it up, I feel cooler instantly.

“You okay, gorgeous?” Caleb asks. He’s leaning against the railing smirking at me.

“My face is tingling.” I’ve never been drunk before but the longer I sit here, the more numb I become. My body becomes weightless and all I want to do is dance around and shake my ass. Caleb dumps some of his punch into my cup. “More?” I question.

He shakes his head yes. “If you drink that you won’t be buzzed anymore.”

“What will I be then?”

“Drunk. Isn’t that why we’re all here?” he says with a laugh.

I rest my head against the side of the house and close my eyes. When everything starts to tilt, I open my eyes back up and decide he’s right. Now’s my shot to live it up. Who knows when I’ll get to another party or if I’ll get to another at all.

Throwing twenty years of caution to the wind, I grab my cup and chug what Caleb poured in. Buzzed isn’t going to cut it tonight. Tonight I want drunk—I want to be like everyone else. While the alcohol still makes me nervous, I’m smart enough to know I’m nothing like my father and I never will be. I raise my cup to Caleb. “You only live once right?”

“Atta girl.” Caleb squeezes my thigh, inching his hand closer to the hem of my skirt.

We sit for a few more minutes and surprisingly, I could float right into the sky. Caleb was right, drunk is awesome. “Let’s go dance, Caleb. I want you to dance with me.”

“I thought you didn’t dance?”

“I thought you didn’t bite.”

“I definitely bite, Sophie. We can go to my room if you want to find out where.” He inches his hand even closer, his fingertips now under the hemline of my skirt.

“I want to dance, Caleb.” He laughs at me and helps me climb back into the house as I struggle to find enough balance to crawl through the window. His hands are on my ass, pushing me through and I land inside with a small thump. Caleb climbs though, thankfully not stepping on me in the process. He holds out his hand and pulls me up off the floor. Holding my body tightly against his own, he pretends to bite the top of my head. It makes me giggle uncontrollably. “Let’s go dance,” he whispers.

“Okay.”

I’m only two steps down the flight of stairs when my vision starts playing tricks on me. “Caleb, help me.” He jogs back up the stairs and I climb onto his back, but he’s tall and we misjudge the small doorway in this aging house, smacking my head on the top of the doorframe. “Shit!” My vision blurs even more, this time not from the alcohol, but the force of the impact on my skull.

He sets me down on the ground but my legs feel like rubber and I fall against the stairs, hitting my head again on the bottom step. “Holy hell.” Caleb bends down and inspects the front of my head where I bounced off the door frame and step. “That’s gonna leave a mark, Sophie.”

“It doesn’t even hurt. I need to dance!”

“Can you stand up?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” I hold out my arms for him. “Up!”

Caleb spins me around and puts his front to my back, grinding into me from behind. His hands roam my body before resting on my hips, his thumbs tucked under my waistband. It’s a heady mix of lust and danger—and I like it. I’m zoned out; enjoying the connection my body has with Caleb’s when my phone vibrates in my back pocket. We jump apart from the unexpected sensation. I chase myself around in a circle like a dog trying to bite his own tail before Caleb pulls the phone out of my pocket for me. “Thanks, C. Hello?”

“Where the hell are you?”

“Right here!” I exclaim animatedly.

“Where is here?”

“At the party!”

“No, Sophie. Where are you standing?”

“In a house!” Caleb turns me around and nuzzles against my neck, kissing me softly. It feels strangely good. “Sorry, Caleb, they ask stupid questions.”

“Sophie. What house and what room?” someone yells through the phone.

“The dancing room! Ouch! Caleb, don’t bite me. Did you know Cara brought me here?”

“You’re talking to Cara, Sophie. Are you wasted?”

“No. I’m Sophie, silly.”

“Stay right where you are. I’ll find you.”

I hang up the phone and hand it to Caleb. I stick my ass out at him, waiting for him to put my phone back in. He smacks it hard before tucking the phone into my back pocket. I take another Jell-O shot from the bar we’re dancing next to and although strong, it goes down like water. I could take on the entire world right now in my state of euphoria. I hold my arms out and spin in a circle with my head tipped back. I’m too hot and need relief, so I pull my shirt up over my head to free myself, leaving me in my tight cami. I tuck it under my bra and the air on my exposed stomach is cooling. After swinging my shirt in the air, I let the fabric fly, unsure of where it ends up landing.

“Jesus, Sophie. You’re smokin hot,” Caleb says in appreciation.

I smile and keep dancing, in my own world entirely. I hop up on top of a coffee table and continue shaking my ass. A small crowd forms around me and I become the most interesting person in the room. “Drink up bitches!” I yell to the mass of sweaty bodies. Everyone cheers in response, fist pumping the air to the beat of the music. This is the most alive I’ve ever been in my entire life. Why I’ve waited so long to experience all of this is beyond me. Alcohol is fun and powerful, not at all scary like I thought.

As I find my groove, I’m yanked off the table and thrown over a strong shoulder. The pressure on my full stomach makes me nauseous. There’s a lot of shouting, jostling of my small body, and dizziness. The dizziness is unbearable. When I finally get put back down, I’m in a bedroom. But I’m not tired. I want to dance.