Текст книги "Lighter"

Автор книги: Gia Riley

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

DAY TWO WAS MUCH LIKE the first with an overwhelming sense of loss for a family I’ve never had continually gnawing at my heart. My anxiety is at an all-time high, my mind in a constant state of confusion. It’s enough of a struggle to stay present in the moment let alone imagine a life without the only parent I’ve ever loved.

Instead of driving further south, I stayed in bed with the curtains drawn. There’s no money left for a decent meal and my stomach has stopped begging to be fed.

Kipton’s tried to call, but I always respond by text knowing I won’t be strong enough to hide the truth from him otherwise. He doesn’t need to be drawn into my pathetic existence. Not until I get things figured out and have a solid plan.

Since I can’t afford to spend a third day in this hotel, I have to check out before they kick me out. Finally showered, I don’t bother drying my hair. Instead, I toss into a messy bun, change into clean clothing, and turn my key in to the front desk.

Stuffing my bag back into the trunk of my car, I realize it’s the only home I have—the only thing that belongs to me besides the clothing in my bags.

The cars only running for a few minutes before the gas gauge lights up. “No.” Banging my palm against the steering wheel, I say goodbye to the little money I have left. My stomach is silent yet desperate for food. My thirst dying to be quenched. The vending machine snacks have run out and I’d do anything for one more Cheeto.

Desperate enough to try mom’s ATM card before leaving the gas station, I’m expecting it to willingly spit out a twenty. I’m shocked when the account has been closed. Him, he did this. I’m so angry I leave the card sticking out of the machine, hoping someone can make it work and drain the account. Asshole.

Slamming my car door, I kick up the dirt in the parking lot when I pull out. A cloud of dust that’s eerily similar to my mood follows me as I speed down the road. Each turn and mile blend into the next—my drive completed by muscle memory.

An hour later, I make it back to campus with nowhere to go. It’s only Wednesday and I’m not due at Kipton’s until Friday. He would want me to run to him, but I’m hesitant. As much as my wounded heart needs him, my pride is too ashamed to go to him. He has it all, and I have nothing. Eventually, I worry he’ll get tired of loving someone who’s unfixable; someone that holds him back from the happiness he deserves.

But as I sit here wondering where to go, I know Kipton and Cara are my only answers. Against my better judgment, I reluctantly dial Kipton’s number when I can’t come up with any other solution. Without money, my options are limited.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Hearing his voice fills me with relief. “Hi, Kipton.”

“What’s up? I’ve missed you. You’ve been so busy.” I hear another guy’s voice in the background giving him shit about me. Kipton covers the phone with his hand and tells him to shut his trap.

“I miss you too.” So much.

“Hang on, I’m having trouble hearing you over the TV and Eric.” A door closes and it’s much quieter. “I’m back. You sound sad, babe. Are you okay?”

I pause before answering, preparing a more cheerful tone of voice for my response. “Of course I am. But do you think I can come see you earlier?” Please say yes.

“Is it going that bad with your Mom?”

“It’s fine. I just miss you and Cara. It’s weird not seeing her crazy ass every day.”

He laughs and the sound alone is enough to know he’s where I need to be. “I’d tell you to come now, but I’m going to a game with my buddy Eric in a little while. I’ll be all kinds of jealous if I know you’re here and I’m not. How about first thing tomorrow morning? That soon enough?”

“Yeah. That works.” I lose my forced chipper voice as the reality sets in that I’m spending the night in my car. In the cold. Alone. It’s not his fault

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Where am I going to go?

“Sophie, I’d cancel if I could, but it’s his birthday. You know I’d rather be with you.”

I want him to have fun with his friend, so I lie. “I’m not mad at all. Have fun with your friend and I’ll see you in the morning. Okay?”

“Okay, beautiful. Can’t wait to see you. Call me if you have trouble finding the house tomorrow.”

“I will.”

“Love you.”

“You too.” I hang up as the sadness makes it hard to speak. All I want is to be in his warm arms tonight. To lay my head on his chest and know I’m safe.

There’s a secluded parking lot behind the back entrance of the gym that I drive to. I’m able to stay out of view from the public until I come up with a better plan. Not wanting to waste any gas, I turn the car off and sit in silence. A couple hours of rustling leaves and everlasting silence. Every second feels like a minute, every minute an hour.

When a campus security guard comes to patrol the lot, I take off. But instead of searching for another lot to hide in, I drive to the wrestling house for the simple fact that it reminds me of Kipton’s warmth. Sitting outside his house makes me feel closer to him—closer to someone who loves me. Maybe the only one who has ever loved me.

It’s here I’m reminded of the crazy parties, the alcohol, and the night we spent together in the treehouse. My chilled body has me tempted to check the house for an open window, but I decide against trying to break in. The last thing I need is to be found trespassing. It’s bad enough I’m on the property at all.

Each time a car passes, I watch to make sure it keeps going. No one can see me sitting here, yet I feel like I’m on display for the whole world. In my rear view mirror I spot the treehouse and know that’s where I need to go for sleep.

Expecting it to be empty, I sigh in relief when I find a sleeping bag rolled up in the corner. I waste no time shaking it out and climbing inside. I’m not sure why it didn’t make it down with the rest of the things Kipton brought up, but I’m thankful regardless.

As the sun sets, I lose the light inch by inch. No longer illuminated, I huddle into the corner desperate for warmth. It doesn’t help. Too weak from not eating anything today, I struggle to stay awake. Dozing on and off, too afraid to let my body relax entirely, I focus on happier times—when I wasn’t scared of my own shadow.

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I’m startled awake and fight to wake my foggy brain. My eyes struggle to separate the shadow from the night’s darkness. A hand touches mine and I scream. Wrapped inside the sleeping bag, I can’t escape. “Please don’t hurt me. Please,” I beg.

“It’s me, Sophie. I’m here.”

How did he know? “Kipton?”

“Yes, baby. It’s me.”

“Kipton,” I cry.

Clutching onto him, I fall into his lap, my legs still stuck inside the sleeping bag. But I don’t care because he holds me tightly, whispering words of comfort in my ear. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here, beautiful.”

I struggle to find my voice. It’s thick with emotion and clogs my throat. “How? How did you find me?”

He reaches his hand out to push a few messy pieces of hair out of my eyes. “Caleb called me. He saw your car sitting in the lot, but couldn’t find you. God, Sophie. I panicked and drove straight here. What’s going on? Why are you in the treehouse?”

“I got home and it all went to hell. Dean was there. He’s not my Dad, Kipton. He never was and that’s why he’s always hated me. But my mom didn’t divorce him like she said either. It’s all been one big lie. My entire life has been a sham. And now my Mom loves Dean more than she loves me.”

“That’s not true. She’s your Mom. She loves you.”

“No, Kipton. I don’t think she does. Not the way I thought anyway. I’ve held her back from her dreams; took away her happy marriage when I was born. She had an affair while married to Dean. Coach Evans, Kipton. He’s my Father.” I sob.

Kipton holds me in his arms, comforting my shaking body. Admitting it makes it that much more real. Hearing the words aloud rather than stuffed inside my tired brain, make it the spoken truth. “I’m so sorry, Sophie. I’m sorry you were alone.”

“He’s destroyed me all these years because I’m the proof she cheated. A constant reminder. I’d hate me too.”

“No, Sophie. You don’t deserve anyone’s hate.” I wish his words were true. “I knew something wasn’t right when you called me earlier.” He shakes his head and sighs. “Have you been here since you called me?”

“It all happened Monday. I was only at my house for a half hour before I left.”

Kipton pulls me away from his embrace, holding me in his outstretched arms. His eyes look angry, but he doesn’t raise his voice or show me any other emotion besides compassion. “Monday? But you were busy. With your Mom. You said-.”

“I lied.” I hang my head not wanting to see the anger morph into pity. “I was ashamed and embarrassed. I’m sorry I lied to you.”

He hugs me tight, kissing the top of my head over and over. “Where have you been?”

“In a hotel. But I ran out of money. I didn’t know where to go so I drove here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry, Sophie. I can’t believe you’ve been all alone. Have you eaten? Are you hungry?”

I nod my head yes. “I had snacks on Monday night and Tuesday morning.”

“Sophie, it’s almost Thursday.”

“I know. I ate a few things from the vending machine, but Dean closed the bank account. I didn’t have a way to get more money out.”

“That asshole,” he grumbles. “Come on. Let’s go eat and then I’ll get you settled in my room.”

“But your family.”

“We can go back in the morning. Tonight, we’re staying here. They know why I left. Don’t worry about them.”

“Okay.” As long as I have him. I just want him.

“Come on, beautiful. I’ll help you down. Go slow, just like last time.” I let him pull me up and out of the sleeping bag. Before we go down, I roll it back up.

“Sophie, you don’t have to do that. Leave it.”

“You have no idea how glad I was you left it up here. Almost like you could predict the future. You always give me what I need—even when you’re not with me.”

“If I could predict the future, I would have never let you go home.”

“As much as it hurts, I’m glad I did. I found out the truth. I finally got the answers I’ve always been searching for.”

He nods his head. “True. But that doesn’t mean it makes it any easier.”

I hang my head. “The truth really hurts, Kipton.” I don’t want him to watch me cry, but a few tears leak from my eyes and fall onto the bare floor boards. The thirsty wood absorbs them before the wetness has a chance to spread.

“You have me, Sophie. I’ll be your family.”

SOPHIE CLUTCHES MY HAND THE entire ride. I use my left hand to turn and shift, not even caring about the inconvenience. She needs me, and I won’t let her down. My heart fucking broke when I found her inside the treehouse. That was after I put it through the most uncertain half hour of my life. Not knowing where she was scared the ever loving shit out of me. But I found her, and although worn down and starving, she’s in my arms again. Exactly where she belongs.

“Where are we going, Kipton?”

“The diner. Is that okay?”

“Yes, but I’m a mess. Maybe I should wait in the car.”

“You’ll still be the most beautiful girl in the place.” She tries to let go of my hand, embarrassed by my comment, but I grab it back before she moves it too far away from me. “I was scared tonight, Sophie.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. I was. I still am.” I need her to realize how much she means to me; to know that I’d be devastated if she gave up on herself or on us.

“Why?”

I find a place to park and turn the car off. This particular conversation will have to wait until I get some food inside her stomach. That’s my top priority right now. “Eat. And then we’ll talk.”

She follows me out of the car before I can make it around to open her door for her. I hate when she does that, but I don’t try to correct her.

We settle into a booth in the back of the restaurant—the one we had our first date in. “Do you know what you want?”

“You can order for me again. You did well last time we were here.”

I smile, happy she’s willing to trust me with something as silly as ordering food. After ordering breakfast for two, I put the straw in my orange juice and do the same for her.

“Thank you,” she whispers. Her voice is as tiny as her body—frail and fragile.

“About what I said in the car. About being scared.” She stops drinking, staring at me in confusion. This might make me sound like a punk, but she needs to be honest with me, and I need to always be honest with her. That’s the only way what we have will work. She has lived a life of secrets and I don’t want that for us.

“Why are you scared? You have everything, Kipton.”

“I have been very fortunate. But none of it means shit unless you’re with me, Sophie.” There’s too much distance between us, and I don’t want her to feel bombarded, so I get up and slide next to her on her side of the booth. She scoots over next to the window and angles her body to face me. Here’s goes nothing.

“I’m scared because I don’t want you to give up. You’ve made so much progress and are working hard to beat your depression. I couldn’t be more proud of you. But I’m selfish, Sophie. I need you in my life and I can’t lose you. Please don’t stop fighting. I don’t ever want you to hurt yourself because you feel alone. I’m here. I will always be here. You make my life better.”

I notice the slight trembling of her hands and wait patiently for her to work through her anxiety. Her foot nervously taps the floor underneath the table. I only know because she’s making the bench bounce ever so slightly. Working up the courage one nervous second at a time, she confesses. “I’m scared too, Kipton.” Thank fuck. I’d be even more worried if she wasn’t.

She meets me in the middle, her head finding my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her and rub her arm softly. “What scares you the most?”

“I don’t want to be that girl anymore, but I hurt so bad inside, Kipton. It kills me over and over—every time I’m reminded that I was a mistake. Even the woman who gave birth to me finally had enough of me. How do I stop loving her after all these years?”

“You don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to.”

“It’s so frustrating because as much as I want to hate her, I can’t. And that pisses me off so bad. I want her to feel as shitty as I do.”

She takes a sip of her juice as our food arrives. Staring at the table, she doesn’t touch anything. I wait patiently before handing her a fork. She accepts, but I’m careful not to push her. I can tell she’s struggling with her thoughts. “Sophie.”

She takes a bite of her egg white omelet. “This is good.”

I’m not hungry, but I eat my omelet anyway so she doesn’t have to eat alone. A few more bites go into her mouth before her fork falls from her fingers and clatters against her plate. “Sorry.” Picking it back up, she continues to eat.

“Your Mom deserves to feel your anger. They both do. They can’t expect you to be anything other than devastated. But remember that family doesn’t have to be blood. I’ll be your family. My family will be your family. I’ve told my Mom all about you. She can’t wait to meet you. Cara hasn’t stopped talking about you either. That’s why she flipped out on you so bad, because she loves you.”

“I love her too.”

“You came into our lives for a reason, beautiful, and we’re not letting you go.”

“I love you both, Kipton. It scares me how intense my feelings are for you though. I didn’t even know I was capable of loving someone the way I love you. That’s why I ran from it so many times. I didn’t want the past to repeat itself and I didn’t want to fail you.”

“It’s real. I promise. Everything we feel for each other is how it’s supposed to be.”

She nods her head and although broken, she’s still the girl I need. And I’ll fight to bring her back entirely. While I have her talking, I decide to take it a step further. “How do you feel about Coach Evans?”

“I’m done with gymnastics. It’s tainted like everything else in my past. All these years I’ve wanted to be the best so my Mom would be proud of me. I needed a purpose for her love because I wasn’t sure I deserved it. And Coach Evans told me gymnastics was in my blood– that I was born to be a gymnast. He only said that because he knew who I was.”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t mean you’re any less talented.”

“I hate him and I barely even know him. He never fought for me.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons. Not that it makes them right.”

“My Mom was an amazing gymnast too. When I started out as a little girl and wasn’t half bad, she was thrilled. But I think it ended up being an easy way to keep me out of the house for longer periods of time—so she could try to keep Dean happy. As I got older, I didn’t even care I was hardly home because it kept me away from the arguing. All this time I’ve spent thinking gymnastics was my saving grace and it’s really been nothing but a bunch of bullshit.”

“I’ll support any decision you make.”

“If I quit, I have to quit school too. There’s no place for me in Ashland anymore, but anywhere has to be better. Maybe I can work here until I find something permanent.”

She’s not quitting school or leaving. I’ll figure something out. She can live with me and I’ll apply for every student loan I can find for her. “My Dad’s in finance. He’ll help you with some student loans. You’ll lose your scholarship, but not your education. I promise.”

“How do you always have all the answers, Kipton?”

“I definitely don’t have all the answers—not by a long shot. I’m just trying to help you because without you, I won’t be happy. That sounds selfish, but it’s the truth. I need you too, beautiful.”

“I’m thankful you’re willing to help. You always make things seem so easy.” She tucks her messy hair behind her ear, still nervously bouncing her leg.

“Then I’m doing my job.”

“What job is that?”

“To love you and protect you. No matter what.”

“Your specialty.” She smiles for the first time and I feel it—every face splitting inch of it.

She picks up her fork and works it between her fingers. “Are you going to eat some more? Or are you full?”

She stares at her plate and looks determined. It doesn’t have anything to do with the eggs I don’t think. “I’m going to finish this and then I want you to take me to bed.”

“You must be so tired.”

She shakes her head yes. “I am. But I want to love you first.”

She can do whatever she wants to me if it makes her happy. “I’ll love you all night long, beautiful.” She rests her head back on my shoulder and takes a few more bites of her eggs.

“You saved me again, Kipton.”

“And I’ll never stop.”

“SLEEP WELL?”

I turn my head to the soothing sound of Kipton’s voice. Staring into his crystal blue eyes, I’m thankful to be with him again. He leans over and kisses my lips. The movement causes a draft under the blanket and I shiver. “Com’ere.” I slide over and he spoons me from behind. Instantly, I’m ten degrees warmer. He even covers my feet with his own. “What were you thinking just now?”

“It would probably scare you.”

He squeezes me tighter. “Now you have to tell me.”

“Just how thankful I am for you. I don’t know where I’d be right now if you hadn’t found me.”

“I feel the same way, beautiful.”

He kisses the top of my head and snuggles me closer. “You’re always so warm. What time do we have to leave?”

“There’s no rush. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay. I need to take a shower first.”

“Nope.” He pops the p right in my ear and I flinch in surprise.

He’s messing with me, but I’m sure he has an excellent reason. He usually does. “Why not?”

“You can shower, but it has to be with me.”

“Why?”

“It’s my turn to pay the water bill this month. I’m trying to conserve.”

“With you?” I’ve never done that before. It feels so personal; so intimate.

“Yup.” He pops the p again.

I swat at him. My efforts are wasted since he’s behind me and out of reach. “Will you stop that!” I’m laughing and he digs his fingers in my side making me laugh even harder. “Stop! I have to pee!”

“Come on, let’s shower and then I’ll make you some breakfast.”

It sounds like a good deal, but does he expect me to walk naked all the way down the hallway?

He releases me and hops out of bed. Holding out his hand, he waits for me to drop the blanket and expose myself.

“Um. I just need my shirt or one of yours.”

He takes both of my hands in one of his and pulls down the blanket. “Nope. Don’t be nervous around me. I’ve seen you naked in bed. Every gorgeous inch. This is no different.”

“It’s usually darker,” I mumble. He hears me and chuckles.

“Don’t fear the light. Just go with it.”

“If you say so.” Here goes nothing. I scurry down the hallway quickly. He laughs at my urgency.

“After you.” He gestures for me to go into the bathroom ahead of him. I shimmy past, linking my hands behind my back to hide my ass from his view. He swats at me and I yelp in surprise. “Put both of your hands on your head.”

“What? Why?” I’m hesitant, but eventually do it. “Now what?”

Kipton leans against the wall, taking me in from head to toe. I hope he’s enjoying himself because I’m not. A mischievous smile covers his face. “Put your hands on your shoulders.”

I roll my eyes, but listen.

“Now your knees.”

I follow his directions.

“Now on your toes.”

Again, I comply.

“Faster and repeat after me, head, shoulders, knees, and toes.”

“Kipton! You asshole.” He ducks when I toss a loofah at his head. Not that it would do any damage even if it hit him. Seeking justice, I punch him hard on the arm.

“Ouch, no hitting! I was only trying to loosen you up. Now, hop in.”

“You’re bossy today, ya know.”

“Always.”

Once under the warm spray of water, I wait for him to make this experience sexual—for him to touch me. But he does nothing more than shower. I’m okay with it, yet disappointed at the same time. He takes his time washing his body while I work the shampoo through my hair. I follow with conditioner and body wash. He watches, but never touches.

“See, you lived.” He wraps me up in a fluffy blue towel large enough to fit two of me. “Not as hot as the pink towel, but it will do.”

I look down at it and wonder what the difference is. A towel is a towel to me. “Why’s the pink one better?”

“Because the second I saw you wrapped up in it, I knew I had to make you mine. And hell if I didn’t want to see what was underneath it so damn bad.” His eyes drop to my lips, before closing the remaining distance and kissing me softly—once and then again.

“How did you know? We were strangers.”

“Because you carry your emotions in your eyes, Sophie. I could tell you wanted me too.”

“I was scared of you,” I admit.

“Why?” He rubs a towel over his hair, making it stick up in a disheveled mess. He looks hot. Seriously hot. “Sophie?”

“Sorry. Um. What was I saying? “I’ve never felt something instantly just from looking at a guy. Of course I didn’t love you or anything that deep, but the way you looked at me I can’t describe. It made me feel wanted. I’ve never had that happen before.”

“I’ll always want you, beautiful. Now enough of this serious shit. If you don’t stop we’ll never get on the road.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. When you say those things to me, it makes me want to get you naked.”

He does realize we’re in the bathroom, fresh out of the shower? “I already am.”

“We should put some clothes on.”

He leaves the bathroom in a rush and I hurry to catch up to him. I’m not done with him yet. He’s reaching inside his closet, but I put my hand on his bicep, dragging my nails down his skin. “I don’t want clothes yet, Kipton.”

He groans. “Oh yeah? What do you want?”

I free his towel and drop my own. He wants me to be more comfortable, so I’ll show him exactly what I want. “Touch me he-”

There’s a hand on my knee, shaking me slightly. “Hmm?” I murmur. I’m just getting to the good part.

“Wake up, sleepy head. We’re almost here.”

Blinking slowly, I look around. The houses are huge, all with perfectly manicured lawns. Even the bushes are fancy. “It was just getting good.”

“What was?” He asks, while keeping his eyes on the road.

“My dream.”

“Tell me about it. You were making some adorable noises.”

I cover my mouth in surprise. “No, I wasn’t!”

“You were. What was happening?”

“Well, we showered together.”

He smiles. “I like this dream already.”

“And we were just about to do things in your room.”

“What kind of things?” Interested in the details, he turns the radio off.

“Sexual.”

“I would hope. Tell me one.”

“Well, we were naked in your room and I was begging you to touch me.”

“I’d never make you beg, unless you wanted to. But where did you want me to touch you?”

“You know where.” My cheeks flush with unspoken sexual desire.

“Where, Sophie?” He inches his hand between my thighs, forcing me to part my legs ever so slightly. “Here?” He moves a few more inches. “Or maybe here?”

“Yeah, there,” I practically pant. His fingers move back and forth a few times and I clutch his wrist to hold him tightly against my body. Just as things begin to heat up, he removes his hand and places it back on the steering wheel leaving me needy and impatient.

“We should act out this dream of yours tonight. I want to make sure your fantasies come true.”

Only he would find it acceptable to get me hot and bothered before meeting his parents. “Funny.”

“What’s funny? I’m serious. It’s happening.” He pulls into a long driveway lined with tall trees. It screams southern money. The house is the most elegantly, beautiful place I’ve ever been. It’s easily three times the size of the house I grew up in. “Wow.”

“It’s just a house, Sophie.”

“A huge one.”

“It’s the people inside that matter. Not the size. Remember that okay?”

“Okay.”

I barely have two feet planted on the driveway before Cara is running toward me. “Sophie!”

She almost knocks me over with her enthusiastic welcome. “Oof. I missed you too, Cara.”

“Come inside, come.”

“One sec, Cara. Come here a minute, Sophie.”

I walk over to Kipton as he asked. “What’s wrong?”

He pulls me behind the trunk, out of view from the front of the house. “Nothing. Just don’t forget about tonight.” He runs his hand up my thigh and between my legs again. Repeating his early ministrations. He rubs back and forth over my sensitive nerve endings before cupping me in his palm.

“I won’t forget.”

He drops his hand to his side, leaving me in a daze. I glance around, making sure no one can see us. Thankfully, the closest neighbor is on the other side of the trees. Swallowing hard at his reminder, I walk back to the front door to meet Cara. I glance over my shoulder at Kipton. Hoping he’s right behind me, I’m nervous when he winks and takes his time gathering my bags. This game he’s playing is killing me.

“Mom! Sophie’s here.” Instantly, I’m wrapped in to a warm hug from a woman I assume to be Kipton’s mom.

“She’s beautiful. My goodness, you’re just adorable. Come, let’s talk. I’ve been so excited to put a face to the name.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you too, Mrs.–”

She interrupts before I can give her a formal greeting. “Call me Lynn.”

“Okay. It’s nice to meet you, Lynn.” We walk down a hallway and into an office. She pats the sofa next to her and I take my place nervously. Cara closes the doors and leaves the two of us alone.

“I needed time with you right away, Sophie. Both of my children are very open and honest with me. It’s the way I’ve always wanted it. I know we’re practically strangers, but I’ll never be anything other than honest with you too.”

Where is she going with all of this?

“Kipton shared a few things with me before he ran out last night. I’d never pretend not to know. It’s not how I operate.”

I hang my head, twisting my fingers in my lap. I want to get up and run. Kipton promised she wouldn’t judge me. Standing, I take one step before Lynn’s hand reaches for mine.

“Please, Sophie. Hear me out. And don’t be angry with Kipton. He has your best interest at heart.”

I can’t sit back down, so I stand on shaky legs next to the window. Being able to see the outside makes the conversation less constrictive.

“Kipton also called me last night after you fell asleep. With the way he ran out of here last night, I was worried you were in trouble.”

“I was.” Admitting you’re in trouble is the first step, right?

“I agree with that, Sophie. That’s why you’re here with me. Both Cara and Kipton already know what I’m going to ask of you.”

“You want me to leave, don’t you? To stop wasting your son’s time. I’m well aware he deserves better.”

“No, Sophie. I want you to stay.”

Confused, I look to her for an explanation. She isn’t making sense.

“I want this to be your home. When you’re on break, over the summer, after you finish, this will be your home.”

Is she nuts? “But we don’t even know each other. You may not even like me.”

She shakes her head repeatedly. “That will never be the case because both of my children love you. I trust their judgment.”

My eyes fill with unshed tears. “What if Kipton and I break up?”

“The status of your relationship doesn’t depend on your place in this home. It’s yours for as long as you want it. You’ll have a room of your own.”

The tears fall. I sink to the floor unable to believe an entire family actually wants to take me in. “I need to let it all sink in, Lynn. I haven’t had many opportunities in my life to love someone, but I know I love your son—more than anything. And Cara’s my best friend. I’ve never known what it’s like to have a family.”

“You will after today. And I apologize for yanking you in here right away, but I couldn’t sit through dinner or wait another minute. You’ve been through enough. ” Lynn closes her eyes and breathes deeply. When she opens them again, a few tears of her own trickle down her cheeks. “You remind me a lot of myself, Sophie. I grew up in a volatile home myself so when I say I understand your pain, I mean it. But it does get better and it will get easier over time.”

“It’s so hard to give up on my Mom. And I tried to make Dean love me, but couldn’t. As far as Coach goes, I haven’t even processed the idea of him yet. I’ve been too busy mourning everything I lost.”

Lynn sits next to me on the carpet. “Doug and I don’t want to overwhelm you. We won’t pretend to be anything other than what you’re willing to accept. But this is a safe place. You’re not alone anymore, Sophie. It’s all here for you if you want it.”