Текст книги "Throttled"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Lee

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

K nock, Knock.

“Go away,” I mumbled from underneath the covers of my bed. I’d somehow managed to make it home after making a complete fool of myself in front of Reid last night.

Omigod. What did I do?

I’d thrown myself at him. Asked him to be my dirty little secret. What in the hell is the matter with me? I’d been trying so hard to be rational and make a well thought out decision about this entire thing. I’d probably just ruined whatever chance there was for me and Reid with that stupid display of sluttiness.

The incessant pounding on my door continued.

“All right!” I threw back the covers. The chill of the air alerting me to the fact that I was wearing only my bra and underwear. I grabbed the first sweatshirt I saw hanging on the back of my closet door and pulled it on along with a pair of shorts off the floor. Whoever the hell was beating on my door better have had coffee. “I’m coming!”

I glanced in the mirror hanging beside the front door before I opened it. I’d definitely looked better. My hair was a rat’s nest tangled with bad decisions and far too much dancing. The mascara I’d put on before I went out was unflatteringly smeared below my eyes. I licked the tips of my fingers and tried to erase the aftermath of too much to drink and pulled open the door. I noticed Georgia’s purse and keys sitting there along with mine, and wondered why she didn’t get up to answer the damn door.

In my haste to make the ceaseless pounding on the door stop, I hadn’t even bothered to think about who it would be. The concerned look on Beau’s face was enough to completely sober me from last night’s events.

“Hey,” I said, as he burst into the room.

“Where in the hell have you been?” he asked. “I’ve been calling you. I went to the bar last night but you had already left.”

“I... um,” I thought back. I remembered Reid leaving and me on the verge of tears. And... Georgia. “Georgia drove us home and I went to bed,” I explained. “I might have had a little too much to drink.”

“Clearly,” he agreed. “You look terrible.” He walked over and placed his hands on my shoulders. “You should have answered your phone...” he trailed off as his eyes scanned down my face to my chest. It was not really a great time for him to be checking me out. I was not in the mood for a morning romp if that’s what his aim was. “What the fuck is this?” The angry way he spit his words and squeezed my shoulders was jarring.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, shrugging out of his hold. “What is the matter with you?”

He pointed at the name on the front of the zip up sweatshirt I was wearing. TRAVERS embroidered literally across my chest. “Why are you wearing his shirt?” I saw the blood rush to his face. The vein that ran up the side of his neck throbbing as he stared at me. “Is he here? Is that why you didn’t answer your phone? I swear to God,” he threatened something as he stormed down the hallway to my room, flinging open the door.

“He’s not here,” I yelled, following after him. “This is not what it looks like.”

“It looks like you’re a sleeping with your ex-boyfriend again,” he said, once he was satisfied that my room was empty. “For fuck’s sake, Nora, the guy’s been back in town for five minutes and you’re already sneaking around with him.”

“I know it looks bad and I probably deserve that but you know me better than that.” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. He was about two seconds from completely flying off the handle and the last thing I wanted was a hole in the drywall. “He gave me this sweatshirt the other night when I was at his house. And, there was no sneaking around.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me that you went to his house?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, feeling guilty by omission. Beau was right. I probably should have told him that I’d been talking to Reid. I needed to be honest with him and myself. “I’m just trying to figure out all of these feelings I’ve been having. I’m confused. I know it’s a weak excuse, but it’s the best I can do right now.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“No. I wouldn’t do that.” I might have last night, but luckily Reid was enough of a gentleman to stop me from doing something I might regret. “We were just talking. I swear.”

“Do you want to?” He asked. I took a beat too long to think about how to answer the question without completely breaking Beau’s heart. “Answer the question, Nora.”

“I don’t know!” I tossed my hands up. “Okay? I don’t know.”

“Fuck,” he said, shaking his head. “I cannot believe that you would just throw this away for him.”

“Am I really throwing anything away? Why are we even together, Beau? Neither of us seems to be ready to move to the next step. We’re both content with this boring life where we meet at the same damn diner for lunch every day. We’re stuck in a rut and you know it.” Honestly, I wondered if our relationship had just been a rut to begin with.

“This is ridiculous,” he huffed. “We were doing just fine until he showed back up.”

“I don’t want just fine, Beau.” Hearing the words come out of my mouth, finally saying out loud what I knew deep down all along was liberating. “I want more. Excitement. Possibility. I want the unknown.”

“Well, good fucking luck,” he said, brushing past me, eager to get out the door. “Don’t come crawling back to me when he breaks your heart again.”

Once he was out the door and pulling away in his truck, I let myself take a nice, slow deep breath. I’d anticipated feeling sad when and if Beau and I ever broke up, but instead it felt freeing. Like the weight I’d been carrying by not being honest with him the second I started to doubt our relationship was gone.

Clap, Clap, Clap.

“Are you seriously slow clapping me right now?” I asked, knowing that my sister had finally emerged from her bedroom.

“Don’t ruin the moment,” she whispered adding to the dramatics as she entered the living room. I gave her a few more claps before I turned to roll my eye at her. “You feel better, don’t you? Finally free of Beau. I know I feel better.” She laughed, pulling me into a hug.

“Thanks for answering the door by the way. Maybe I could have prepared myself a little better.”

“No way.” She laughed. “I saw Beau’s truck out the window and decided it was best if I stayed in my room. So, do you feel better?”

“I do. I feel bad for hurting him, but better because I don’t have to worry about leading him on anymore or doing something I’d regret. Like cheat on him.”

“Lucky for you, Reid wouldn’t let that happen,” she said, grabbing my hand and leading me over to the sofa. “He’s a good guy.”

“Omigod,” I said into a throw pillow I’d pulled on to my lap. “I acted like such an idiot last night. He’s probably never going to speak to me again. I threw myself at him. Asked him to be my—”

“Dirty little secret.”

“Yeah.”

“You filled me in on the ride home,” she explained. “Then spent a good hour trying to reason out what you were going to do.” She reached over and grabbed a wrinkled sheet of paper from the coffee table. “Here’s the pro’s and con’s list you made last night, in case you need reminding.” She held it up. The scribbles of a mad woman glared back at me from the paper.

“I’m never drinking again.” Bits and pieces of my conversation with Georgia the night before trickled into my brain as I grabbed the paper from her hand.

“This is your handwriting,” I pointed out the line that read: BEAU IS NOT YOUR SOULMATE.

“It is,” she confessed. “Just pointing out the obvious.”

“And you think Reid is? What makes you think so?”

“I see the way you look at each other,” she began. “I’ve been around for the duration, remember?” She had seen my ups and downs with Reid, so I had to give her some credibility. “He gets you. You get him. You laugh at the same stupid jokes. You have the same interests. I saw how excited you were to be at the track.”

“We have the same interests,” I argued. “Does that make us soulmates, too?”

“Of course. Soul sisters.” She laughed. “But seriously, Nora, he told me the other night that you were “it” for him. That he’s known since you were kids. I think you feel the same way.”

“I think I do, too.” I sighed. “What if he hurts me again, G? What if I follow my heart and it just leads me right back to being depressed and numb?”

“There’s a chance that that could happen,” she said. “But, there’s an even bigger chance that if you don’t at least try, you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling the exact same way.” She was right. I’d been telling myself that I wasn’t miserable without him, that I had a good life, but the truth was, the last time I truly remembered being happy was with him.

“I’m supposed to be the big sister,” I told Georgia. “Why are you so much smarter than me?”

She shrugged. “Not smarter, just well versed in the Nora/Reid saga.”

“He probably doesn’t even want to see me again.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,” she said, pulling her phone from the pocket of her sweats. “He’s texted me like thirty times making sure you were okay.”

I smiled. “I think I should go see him.”

“I think you should shower first,” she pointed out.

“Good idea,” I agreed. “Hey G,” I asked, before I headed down the hallway. She looked over at me from the sofa. “You think Jamie was your soulmate?”

“Maybe,” she answered. The sadness that came along with the mention of Jamie’s name was there, but there was something else. Hope. “But, there might be another one out there somewhere.”

“I think there is,” I told her. “You’re too fantastic for there not to be.”

The guilt I felt for making her think all I wanted from her was to hook up in a back alley behind a bar was eating its way through my stomach lining. Since I’d left her at the bar last night, all I could do was blame myself for her behavior. If I hadn’t kissed her at the party, she wouldn’t have felt the need to get wasted and throw herself at me.

Maybe I should just leave her alone.

I’d considered tucking my tail between my legs and backing away from this whole thing, but the thought of not being with her told me to shut the hell up. When her car came down the lane that morning and came to a stop in front of my house, I rushed out the door to meet her, anxious to apologize and let her know I’d back off if that’s what she needed. But before I had a chance to take the blame for what had been going on between us, she started talking.

“I’m so sorry for how I acted last night,” she said, meeting me half way between the porch and her car. She looked much better than she had last night, her eyes brighter, her skin glowing. Her hair was still damp from her morning shower and falling into loose waves as it dried on its own. The jeans and loose off the shoulder sweatshirt she was wearing made her look younger than she had in our past few meetings, especially with the little make up she’d put on her face. She was beautiful.

“I’m sorry for kissing you the other night,” I told her. “I know that you asked me for time, I just felt desperate and I couldn’t help myself. I shouldn’t have done anything to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable is not the word I’d use,” she said, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip so that she didn’t full on grin. I wished she’d tell me exactly how it did make her feel, but her expression was saying that maybe she liked it more than she was letting on. “Want to hang out today?” she blurted out, when my eyes lingered just a bit too long on her mouth.

“Um, yeah,” I answered, trying not to look overly excited by her invitation. “What’d you have in mind?”

“I was hoping you’d take me for a ride?” It took every ounce of self-control I had to not make a sarcastic comment. “On your bike.” She chuckled.

“Get out of my head, woman.”

“Get out of mine first,” she said, playfully. The moment that passed between us, empty of tension and stress, was welcomed. She hadn’t mentioned a thing about Beau or staying away from her or needing more time, and I wasn’t about to bring it up. Not when she was asking to spend the day with me. I’d keep my mouth shut and enjoy her company for as long as I had it. “Lead the way.” She pointed toward the trailer where the bikes were kept and I took advantage of her hand being so close to me, and grabbed it with mine. When she didn’t pull it free, I felt a sense of security I hadn’t felt with her in a while.

“Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

Feeling the squeeze of her thighs around my body as she sat on the back of my bike ranked right up there with winning a race and busting a nut. Two of my favorite things. Riding and Nora. Together they had me feeling invincible as we raced across the open field and toward the pond.

She shrieked in my ear and her arms tightened around my body when we took the crest of the hill fast enough to cause her stomach to bottom out.  The laughter that followed when she knew that I had complete control of the situation was refreshing. My wild, carefree girl was back, even if only for a moment.

I pulled to a quick stop at the edge of the pond. The momentum caused the bike to move forward balancing up on the front tire momentarily before bouncing to a still.  Her body tensed, her arms wrapping around me so tightly that I could hardly take a breath as she pressed up against me.

“You think we were going in?” I laughed, resting my hand on hers as we looked out across the water.

“There might have been a moment of panic,” she confessed, laying her head against my back. It felt so natural and comfortable to not only be around her but to have her on my bike. I know it wasn’t just happy memories surfacing. That was part of it, yes. But more so it was her. I’ve never felt more myself than when I was in her presence and had her a part of my life.

“Eileen can stop on a dime,” I informed her, patting the tank of my bike. “She’s a well-oiled machine.”

“You named your bike Eileen?” she teased.

“I name all my bikes,” I said, turning just enough on my seat to lift the right side of my shirt. “Eileen, Caroline, Valerie. All the girls are here.” I pointed at the tattoos on my ribcage. The same ones that Nora had assumed were past conquests.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t.” I said. “If you had a bunch of guys’ names tattooed on your body, I’d be a little jealous, too.” I smirked.

“I wasn’t jealous,” she defended. “Well… maybe a little,” she said coyly, without me having to say a word. Hearing her say that she’d been a little envious of the other “women” in my life and the way she’d reacted when she’d seen me with Tally at the bar made it pretty clear that she still wanted me for herself. Now to just get her to admit it.

“Did it hurt?” she asked, trailing her fingertips down the ink. The sensation of her hands on me took my breath. I wanted more. I wanted both hands. And, no clothes. And complete surrender to what we’d been denying ourselves. I wanted all of her. Heart and soul.

“It didn’t feel good,” I laughed. “But once I started, I couldn’t stop. It’d look pretty silly with half a name.”

“True.” She agreed. “Roxanne. Of course.” She smiled and shook her head. “I remember. The bike you had,” she paused, not adding in the before you left part.

“See? You’re a smart cookie, Bennett.” I grinned, tugging my shirt back down before I did something stupid, like pull it completely off and beg her to continue touching me and scare her off.

“Sometimes, I wonder just how smart.” Her smile fell and she pulled her eyes from mine.

“Smartest girl I know,” I promised. “Speaking of... you know I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you, right?” I looked ahead at the pond waiting for her to voice her opinion the subject. “On the bike or otherwise.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I know.” A fast dirt bike might have been involved in that moment, but I knew we were having a deep conversation beneath the surface of our words. If ever there was a time to confess my undying love for her, it was probably then, but she’d made it perfectly clear that she wouldn’t be putting up with any pressure from me, so I bit my tongue. I looked back over my shoulder at her and when she didn’t look away, I knew that she knew. I wanted to kiss her when she moved to look at me, I wanted to pull her around my body and sit her on my lap the way I used to and kiss her until our lips were numb. But I didn’t. Instead, I revved the bike and gripped the handle bars.

“Hang on, Shutterbug,” I warned. “Let me show you a few new tricks I’ve learned.” I turned us around and sped back across the open grass we’d rode on before. This time popping my front wheel up just enough to earn another squeal of excitement, followed by the melodic sound of her laughter.

I took a familiar route around the property—along the timber line and back up to the area where my parents’ house was being built. It wasn’t the first time I’d rode over the landscape with her on the back of my bike. We used to take the same route when we needed a break from the motors and people that were usually running at full speed on the track. We’d escape off for a little privacy and a chance to talk outside of the noise.

We made a pit stop at the construction site and I gave her the grand tour. The basement was poured, the subfloors down, and some of the walls were up. It was hard to envision it, but I walked her through anyway.

“The kitchen,” I said, stopping in the center of the house and expanding my arms. “Living room.” I pointed across the bare space. “Then two bedrooms, an office, and a couple of bathrooms. It’s not too big, but it’s everything they wanted. I guess it’s kind of hard to tell since it’s unfinished.”

“I can see it,” she said. “Real estate brain,” she winked and tapped the side of her head.

“Yeah, how exactly did you become an agent?” I asked. I’d wondered the day she showed up with the land deed. She was always more interested in the arts than business.

“I’m not really sure,” she chuckled. “I worked for Mr. Hillcrest during the summers when I was on breaks from college and it just seemed like a good idea when he suggested I get my license.”

“I kind of thought you’d be a photographer or something by now.”

“I don’t really take pictures anymore.”

“No?”

“Haven’t really felt inspired.” She said. My heart sank. Another consequence of me leaving. I was batting a thousand when it came to screwing up her life. Dating a jerk? Check. Gave up her dream of becoming a sports photographer? Check. Settled for less than she deserved? Double check. The photographs she used to take of us riding were good enough to be featured in any motocross magazine. It didn’t seem fair that I was living my dream and she wasn’t. I had a lot of making up to do and even if she didn’t decide to be with me, I could at least push her to do what she loved with her life.

“Maybe we could change that,” I suggested.

“Maybe.” She shrugged before steering the conversation back to the house. “This place is going to be perfect, Reid.” She walked over to where a set of French doors would be off the back of the kitchen.  “And look at this view.” The grass covered land rolled out and led to the pond we’d just come from.  “Wouldn’t mind waking up to this every day.” She turned to look over her shoulder at me.

“Me either,” I said under my breath as I looked her up and down. Waking up with her everyday would have made me a very lucky guy. “It’s quite a view,” I agreed so that she could actually hear me. The hills were great, but the girl standing in front of me had my full attention. The soft curve of her neck and shoulder tempted me to put my mouth on her skin. I was thankful for this time we were spending together and I wouldn’t do anything to make her have a second thought but I needed to change the scenery. “Ready to go?” I asked. If I got her back on the bike, at least I could feel her body pressed against mine. I’d never thought to use riding as an excuse to be near a girl, but I’d make an exception if it meant being close to her.

* * *

Even though both of us wanted to keep riding, the fuel gauge was arguing otherwise. When I rolled the bike back into the trailer and shut it off next to my brother’s and Brett’s, she climbed off and started to run her fingers through her tangled hair. I watched her walk around the space, carefully inspecting the trophies and tools that were strewn about. The back twenty feet of our forty-foot trailer was a like a mobile workshop. Everything I needed to keep my bike running fast. The front twenty was a living space. It slept four people and had a bathroom. I’d spent more time in this trailer than I did in the apartment I rented back in Texas. This was my home.

“Leave it,” I said, as I pushed down the kickstand with my foot. “Windswept is a good look on you.” Her cheeks were rosy from the ride and her eyes a bit watery. I reached up and brushed the tears from the corners of her eyes with both thumbs.

“Is it? Or do I look like a track bunny who’s been rode hard and put away wet?”

“I’d never put you away wet,” I teased.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” she replied with a smile and I felt a shift between us. That wasn’t the first sexual reference that had been made that day, and she sure hadn’t minded me holding her hand at various points during our ride. “What about the rode hard part?” she asked, taking a step toward me somewhat seductively. It was before noon, so I knew she hadn’t been drinking again. This was clear headed, sober Nora making advances. Something she wouldn’t have done if she wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that she wanted to.

“I’m fully prepared to show you exactly what rode hard means,” I warned, closing the distance between us. Her lips parted as we stood toe to toe. “But you might want to stop me, if this is something you are going to regret.”

“I’m not,” she said, reaching out to run her hand down my chest. “I mean, I’m not going to stop you.”

“What aren’t you telling me, Nora?” The caution I was showing was definitely not what I was feeling inside. I wanted to throw that damn caution to wind and grab hold of her and never let go.

“Beau and I broke up this morning.” She placed her other hand on me, and before she could move it an inch, I’d covered my mouth with hers. The caution was thrown. Hard and far. One sentence was all it took. I finally heard the words I’d been hoping to hear come out of her pretty little mouth.

I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her as close as I could possibly get her to me. My tongue sweeping through her mouth like I was a dying man in the desert looking for a drop of water. Desperate and driven, I kissed her and tried to ruin her for any other man to come after me. Not that any would. Knowing that she was free and clear of her asshat boyfriend, the only man she’d be kissing from here on out was me. Mine.

I moved us to the workbench that ran the length of the trailer and parked her sweet ass on it, grabbing it with both hands for old times’ sake once more. I felt animalistic manhandling her, but she didn’t seem to mind, matching my excitement with her own movements. Her arms locked around my neck like a vise grip as she held on to me. Her long legs wrapping tightly around my waist.

I nipped her bottom lip and moved my mouth to her neck. Each whimper and moan that she released fueled my desire to have her. To mark her as mine. Just having the taste of her skin on my tongue again was enough to drive me insane. I pulled her forward on the bench and pressed myself between her legs. The firm length of my cock pressing into her center. She shuddered with delight as I rocked my hips forward creating friction between us. Years of frustration and pent up passion threatened to break both of us apart at the seams.

“You’re mine, Nora. You hear me? Mine,” I growled.

“Yes. Yours, Reid. Always.” Her greedy hands pulled my face back to hers as she crushed her lips against mine again. This time her tongue darted between my lips, seeking attention that I was happy to reciprocate. I loved that she was as anxious for this to happen as I was. That she was eager and knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to show me.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Brett said, immediately interrupting a very spectacular fucking moment. “Look at that, Hoyt,” he said, nudging my brother who was standing next to him. “The son of a bitch did it.”

I rested my forehead against hers momentarily composing myself. I was hard as rock and I knew she needed to catch her breath before we moved far, far away from Brett and Hoyt. I didn’t want an audience for what I had planned.

“The son of bitch hasn’t even gotten started.” I shot them a glare, before placing my hands on Nora’s waist and helping her to the ground, trying to adjust myself as best I could. The pink sweep of embarrassment on her cheeks at being caught by my idiot entourage had me seeing red. “You two have fantastic timing,” I deadpanned, as I took Nora’s hand in mine and led her out of the trailer.

“Hey, we just came out to ride,” Hoyt yelled as we walked away. “Next time put a tie on the trailer door!” he added. The laughter of both him and Brett chased us into the house.

“Well that was fun,” she said, masking her embarrassment with a chuckle.

“Which part?” I stopped once we were inside and pulled her into my arms again.

“Up until your brother and Brett walked in, all of it.”

“Don’t mind them.” I said, shrugging off their stupidity. “They just like giving me a hard time.”

“They’re pretty good at it.”

“You have no idea.”  I walked over to the fridge and grabbed us each a bottle of water. I wanted to drag her straight up to my bedroom and finish what we’d started in that trailer, but I thought maybe we should discuss the part of the morning that led to telling me she was now available. The part before I mauled her like a wild dog. “So, we should probably talk.”