Текст книги "Throttled"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Lee

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

“I’m glad you’re here,” I said to my sister, who was sitting on the tailgate of Beau’s truck next to me. The roar of multiple engines made it difficult to hear one another, but when she nudged her shoulder against mine, I knew she could read my mind. The whole thing was surreal. I was watching bikes go around a track that I’d swore I’d never see again. I almost felt guilty for not cheering for Reid. He was the one who’d introduced me to this sport and he was the reason I’d fallen in love with it. Nothing in my life was making a damn bit of sense.

“I can’t believe Beau wanted to come,” she said into my ear. “I mean, I’d get it if they were friends, but we both know that is not the case.”

“This is why,” I pointed at the race track. Beau and Reid’s bikes went rushing by us. They were so close that it was impossible to tell who was in the lead. “He thinks he has something to prove.” I rolled my eyes.

As soon as we had arrived at the track, Georgia found me, thankfully. Beau readied his bike to ride and put on his gear. He looked pretty good all dressed up. It had been so long since I’d seen a man in racing gear that I almost forgot how sexy it was. I’d purposely avoided looking at Reid. He’d had a fantastic ass in riding pants years ago, I was sure it looked even better now, and I had way too many memories of taking those clothes off of him to even consider it. I was there for Beau, not for Reid.

“Be careful,” I’d suggested to Beau, knowing that it was an unheeded warning.

“I should have stayed home,” Georgia said. “This is so nerve wracking. I don’t know how you did it all those years.”

“I missed it,” I replied once all the bikes started zooming around. The noise, the adrenaline. It was exhilarating and I was just watching from the sidelines. I used to love going to the races, but I hadn’t been back to one, or even watched one on television, since Reid left. I thought it was for the best, but maybe if I’d kept watching I would have seen how much faster and harder bikes were now. And how aggressive Reid Travers had become. He was always a good rider, but now he was a beast. Relentless and calculated, much more polished than the guy I remembered. Beau was doing his best to keep up, but I knew he was pushing his limits. I just really hoped he didn’t hurt himself.

I tugged at the hem of my shorts and pulled down the sleeves on the long sleeve t-shirt I was wearing. September in Illinois was hard to dress for—blistering hot one day, freezing cold the next. The fall was as unpredictable as the racing.

Georgia and I continued to watch the two of them go around the track. Reid would take the lead, but every time he started to back off, Beau was right there beside him pushing him into a turn and forcing him to throttle harder. It had been going on for at least four laps and neither showed any signs of stopping.

Brett and Hoyt watched on, and I could see the nervousness in their eyes from all the way across the track. The faster they seemed to go, the more Hoyt wrung his hands. Brett began to pace the side of the track like a caged wolf. They had to be thinking the same thing that Georgia verbalized.

“What happens if Reid gets hurt?” she asked. I’d thought it, but I didn’t want to be the one to put those words into the universe. “Doesn’t he have a contract or something that says he can’t be...doing whatever it is he’s doing out there?”

“I would imagine,” I surmised. “But I highly doubt Reid is the one that gets hurt out there. Why would he keep pushing Beau to ride so hard? He knows that he’s the better rider.”

“Men.” She shrugged.

“Well, they’re both idiots.” We laughed, because that’s really all we could do.

Brett had finally had enough and waved a flag to indicate the final lap.

Thank God.

I waited for Reid to rocket off and leave Beau behind, but the strangest thing happened. Reid relaxed—not enough that anyone but me would notice, but he wasn’t full out riding. I knew the move. It was the same one he used when he was racing against his brother back in the day. He’d explained to me that sometimes Hoyt needed an ego boost. Sometimes he needed to let him win to keep him wanting to ride. I understood the move with Hoyt, but why in the world would he think Beau needed an ego boost?

Beau zipped past him and crossed the finish line. The wheelie he popped and rode across the straight away led me to believe that he actually believed he’d won that race fair and square.

Reid came to a stop and ripped off his helmet before tossing it to the dirt. He clenched his jaw and proceeded to put on a real good show. Everyone seemed to believe that he’d actually just lost to some amateur rider.

“Son of a bitch,” he yelled when he shut his bike off. He walked over toward us. Beau was pulling his bike to a stop. I looked at Georgia, wondering if she’d witnessed what I had, but she was oblivious.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” she said. “He actually beat him.”

“Looks that way,” I replied. By the time Beau was off his bike, Reid was standing in front of us all.

“Good race, Gregurich,” Reid said reaching his hand out to shake Beau’s. “Off season has made me a little rusty.” He laughed and waited for Beau to shake his hand.

“Yeah, well maybe you’re not as good as you think you are,” Beau snapped. “You can’t win all the time.”

“Beau,” I said, dropping my feet to the ground and standing up. “He said good job, the least you could do is say the same.”

“I can’t do that,” Beau said, walking over to wrap his arm around my waist. “I can’t because I beat him.” It had been years since I’d heard Beau Gregurich talk so venomously. He definitely hadn’t forgotten how to do it.

“You don’t have to be a dick,” I replied.

“It’s fine, Nora,” Reid interjected. “He beat me. Fair and square.”

Did he?

“Hear that, babe?” Beau leaned over and rested his chin on my shoulder. Between his bad attitude and his extreme closeness, I was having a hard time not telling him to go away. I felt Reid’s eyes on me, which only added to the uncomfortable situation I found myself in. “I beat him. Now, how about a kiss for the winner.”

“I guess.” I turned my face to Beau’s, ready to give him a quick peck before I shimmied out of his hold, but he didn’t let me. Instead, he used his free hand to hold my neck in place as he covered my mouth with his. The forcefulness of his kiss was alarming. For show, he dipped me back in his arms until the crowd of bystanders started cheering.

“Yeah!” he yelled out. When he finally broke his hold on me, my eyes found Reid who was the one person standing in front of me that wasn’t clapping or cheering for the winner. “Let’s get a drink!” Beau gave me one more kiss on the cheek, but the roar of the crowd, and the shock of his behavior, was too much. As soon as Beau let go of me, I walked away.

I had no idea where I was going when I walked away from the track. I’d started walking east when I knew the path back up to the road was west. Instead of finding my way back to town, I’d found myself walking a trail in the middle of the woods. Terrible logic on my part, especially considering it would be dark soon.

I could still hear the dirt bikes on the track—probably Beau taking another victory lap—so I figured I still had time to find my way back. I just needed to get away for a minute. I was upset and embarrassed and downright pissed at Beau for acting like such an ass. Not only was he a sore winner, he’d practically mauled me in front of everyone, and for what? To show how big and bad he was? By the time I’d walked off the urge to slap him, I found a fallen tree and took a seat. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, hoping that by the time I decided to go back to the track I was calm and able to think rationally again.

He was just excited. He let it go to his head. He’s not a bad guy. I continued to talk myself down until I heard the unmistakable shuffle of feet, the fallen leaves crunching with every step.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Reid teased.

“How’d you find me?” I asked, when I opened my eyes. He’d replaced his chest protector and racing shirt with a Reid Travers Racing T-shirt, but still had his pants and boots on. I couldn’t be sure if it was just a passing thought fueled by my frustration at my boyfriend, but he looked better than I remembered. And if the little bit of sweat and dirt weren’t enough to make him over the top sexy, he’d pulled on a ball cap backwards to cover his helmet hair. I wondered if he’d remembered exactly what that did to me?

“I lived here for eighteen years,” he reminded me. “I know these woods like the back of my hand,” he smiled. “Plus, I followed you.” He took a seat next to me. I continued to look straight ahead. “Drink?” he asked, holding out a can of Natural Light beer.

“Natty? Really?” I teased, reaching out to take it from him.

“Don’t act like it’s not still your favorite,” he said. I responded with a shrug and opened my can. “First beer you ever had, remember?”

“Yeah.” I laughed, thinking about the time we’d stolen a few cans from his parents. It took all of three beers for me to get loose lipped and tell him I loved him for the first time. Luckily, he’d responded that he felt the same. “I remember. Sorry Beau was such a dick.”

“You don’t have to apologize for him,” he said, bumping his shoulder against mine. “Did you honestly expect him to react any differently?”

“I didn’t expect him to win,” I confessed. I turned to face him. I needed to see his face when I asked him the next question. “Why’d you let him?”

“Who says I did?” He tried to hide his smile.

“Come on.” I urged, turning to face him as I straddled the log. “I saw you ease up. I know when you’re letting someone win.”

“I’m flattered that you were paying such close attention.” He moved to mimic my position. “I figured I’d give the guy a break. Let him show off for his girl.”

“Seriously?”

“You want the truth?” He asked. I nodded and waited for him to continue. “I knew that he’d act like an ass if he won.”

“Well that was a bit manipulative, don’t you think?” I playfully slapped his arm. Seeing Beau’s reaction was a reminder of just how big of a jerk he was back in the day. It was my fault for not expecting what I knew was deep down in Beau, but I’d done my best to forget everything about my past, his obnoxious behavior included.

“And, I plan on stealing his girlfriend, so the least I could do was let him think he won a race.” He continued the second I looked at him, my eyes pleading for him not to. “I said I was going to fight for you. I never said I’d fight fair.”

I smiled, because I just couldn’t not. He was saying all the right things and I believed him.

“I just wanted to remind you who he really is, Nore. He’ll always be the way he is.”

“And you? Are you the same?”

“Not in the way you think I am.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m not just going to run away and not speak to you for seven years.”

“That doesn’t change things.” I fought the urge to look away from him. “It’s not as simple as that.”

“It could be. I want you. I want to be with you.” The sincerity in his eyes had me hanging on his every single word. “I want a chance to make up for being such an ass back then. I feel terrible about it all.”

“It’s fine. What happened happened.”

“It’s not fine,” he reiterated. “You were pregnant, Nora. With my baby and I should have been there for you. I should have—”

“We should have done a lot of things,” I interrupted. “I should have told you the truth that day.”

“I would have stayed,” he assured me.

“I know you would have. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to be the reason you gave up your dream.”

“This is not on you.” I could tell what he was doing. He was beating himself up. Taking the blame. But he shouldn’t have been.

“Maybe we are both to blame,” I told him, hoping to ease the guilt that he felt. Neither of us were prepared for the situation back then. “We were kids. We made mistakes.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Which is exactly why I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I want us to have what we couldn’t back then.” The promise of his words were nice and a part of me wanted to kiss him. To hold each other and plan a future together, but was it possible for us to make up for lost time? Could we just pick up where we left off?

“What happened to being just friends?”

“Did you really think that was going to last?” He cautiously rested his hands on the tops of my thighs, his calloused fingers rough against my smooth skin. “And there is a very simple solution to all of this.” I didn’t flinch under his touch, because in that moment it felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be. “Break up with him.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” He leaned forward. “Break up with him.”

“I can’t break up with him just because you tell me to,” I argued. His grip tightened. Not in a way that was out of anger or frustration, but desperation. He wanted me to pay attention to what he was about to say. I couldn’t have looked away from him if I tried.

“Then break up with him because you missed me. Because you forgive me. Because you want to be with me. Break up with him because... because of this.” His lips were on mine within seconds. I moaned at his sudden advance, but the sweet taste of him on my tongue again was consuming in a way that made every thought I could possibly have evaporate.

My arms wrapped around his neck of their own accord as I tried to pull him closer. His lips were full and firm and I needed more. He sensed my urgency and used his hands to position my thighs on top of his before slipping his arms around my back and pulling me closer. The rough feel of his riding pants against my bare thighs sent a reminiscent chill up my spine and the friction that was building between us threatened an implosion of my will power.  The feeling of being this way with him again was a jarring realization. I only ever felt this way with him. The throb between my legs needed his attention. I nipped his lip between my teeth and a moan rumbled from deep in his chest.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he said, breaking our kiss to lower his mouth to my neck.

“I know,” I answered, breathlessly. I turned my head to give him better access as his fingers kneaded into my thighs as he tugged me closer. “I missed you too.” The effortless way I told him that I’d missed him only made what we were doing seem right.

I felt myself quickly falling under his spell. “I swear I’ll never leave you again,” he promised, moving his hand to the back of my neck as if he was scared I was going to get away. Despite my desire to believe every word he was saying at that moment, he shouldn’t have been making promises he couldn’t keep. He’d been back in Halstead for all of a hot minute and my carefully laid plans were threatening to scatter like the leaves in the fall breeze. My ability to forgive and forget, to just let myself be lost in the moment, was waning.

“What about racing?” I asked.

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll come back on breaks and you can come visit me on the road. We’ll make it work.”

He will have to leave. He will choose to race.

“We have to stop,” I said, placing my hand on his chest. “We can’t do this.” I quickly removed myself from his lap and stood up, moving away from his as quickly as possible. As I struggled to catch my breath, the reality of what I’d just done crashed down on me as I stood there looking at him. I had a boyfriend and Reid would be leaving as soon as his parents’ house was finished. Even if what he was saying was true about trying to make it work, I didn’t know if I had it in me. I had a life in Halstead… family, friends, a good career and I was nowhere near close to being ready to make a decision that would upset all of that.

“Nora,” he called out. “Would you wait just a damn minute!”

“You promised you wouldn’t push,” I said, reminding him as much as myself before I turned to walk back to the track. I had to get away from him before I did something else I’d regret. “I just need more time.”

Well that hadn’t gone exactly how I’d planned. I watched her walk away from me and back toward the party before I stood up and gave the trunk we were sitting on a good kick.

“Fuck,” I seethed. What had I said that had spooked her? It seemed like we were really getting somewhere. It felt so good to have my lips on hers again and to hold that sweet little body of hers on my lap. It was more than just the physical pull I had to her though. Sitting there with her and talking, hearing her laugh and giving me a hard time for the move I pulled on Beau. Airing how we felt about the past and the mistakes we’d made, it was everything about her that made me want her, including our history, which was the apparent deal breaker in this entire ordeal.

Did she want me to give up racing and move back to Halstead for her? I wanted to say I was ready to do that, but how could I? I’d given up everything for my career and to just let it go was not something I could do without some serious thought. Thinking about the wounded look on her face when she stood up and walked away from me had me seriously considering parking my bike for good, I would have given anything in that moment to have her back in my arms, but I couldn’t be impulsive. Look where being impulsive had gotten me with Nora. Had I known that ending things with her back then would have had both of us feeling completely miserable, I definitely would have thought it through a little better.

I gave her a few minutes to get back to the track before I headed that way. I should have just stormed after her and made her say in front of everyone that she still loved me, but the idea of causing her anymore heartache that night was enough to keep me from causing a scene.

“Where you been?” Hoyt asked when I found him chatting with Brett and Georgia. No signs of Nora anywhere. She’d probably already left with her asshat boyfriend. I couldn’t stomach the thought of her being with him. The way he’d kissed her in front of me and every other damn person at the party earlier had me seeing red. I was relieved when I saw her storm off. A little bit of that spitfire girl I’d fallen in love with a decade ago peeked out from behind that responsibly, well-adjusted adult facade she was so good at wearing now.

“Needed to clear my head,” I said, grabbing a beer from the cooler next to them.

“You mean you were scared to show your face after Beau smoked you?” Brett teased.

“Something like that,” I mumbled, before taking a drink. I wasn’t in the mood for joking around. I was in the mood to drink and try to figure out what exactly happened back in those woods.

“My sister was clearing her head too,” Georgia piped up. “Any chance you saw her?”

“Why?” I replied. “Would it even matter?”

“It might,” she suggested with a shrug. “It might make all the difference in the world.”

“What the hell does that mean, Georgia?” I was through playing games. If she knew something that might help me it was time for her to start talking. “What do you know?”

“I know that my sister came stomping out of the woods and told Beau she was ready to leave without so much as a word to me.”

“What makes you think that it had anything to do with me?”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever seen her get that upset over.”

“I didn’t mean to upset her,” I confessed my being with her without even thinking. I thought about covering my tracks for Nora’s sake, but Georgia already knew.

“What did you say to her?”

“Just the truth.” I shook my head. “I want another chance.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why do you want to be with her?” she said pointedly. “It’s not a hard question, Reid. Is this about competing with Beau? Do you just want her for old times’ sake? Or is it more than that?” With every question she stepped closer to me and I was actually feeling a bit intimidated by the 5-foot-4-inch woman standing in front of me.

“Yes, it’s more than that,” I promised. “She’s it for me. I’ve known she was the one since we were kids. I made a mistake back then and I just want a chance to make it right.”

“You hurt her once and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you do it again.” Her usually sweet face took on a much more ferocious look. “You better be telling the truth.”

“I’m a lot of things, Georgia Bennett, but a liar is not one of them.” I looked her straight in the eyes and I hoped that my sincerity was coming through loud and clear.

“Nora’s different now,” she finally said. She sighed and the tension in her shoulders lessened. “You really did a number on her back then, so she’s much more careful in her decision to let herself fall.”

“She let herself fall for Beau.”

“Not really,” she countered. “Their relationship is not what it seems, at least I don’t think it is. They sort of just ended up together, but there’s a reason she still lives with me and hasn’t taken the next step with him. She might not know it for sure yet, but I’m pretty sure the reason is you.”

“What do I do?” I asked her. The desperation I was feeling was unlike anything else. “How can I make her see that I’m the one she is supposed to be with?”

“Keep fighting for her,” she said with a smile. “Make her remember how and why she loves you.”

“Didn’t plan on stopping,” I told her. “I’m going to get her back.”

“Okay,” she said reaching out to rest her hand on my shoulder. “Life is too damn short to not be with the person you love. And for what it’s worth, I hope she picks you,” she added.

Georgia’s words were motivation when I was feeling defeated, and knowing that she was on my side didn’t hurt matters any, either. Nora had left the party with Beau, but after talking to her sister I was pretty sure she’d left her heart with me. All I had to do was convince her that mine had always been with her.

* * *

How exactly do you fight for a girl who keeps running away from you? You go to her. Nora had been avoiding me for days. I’d gone to the diner, the grocery store, and every other place I thought she might be, hoping to get a chance to talk to her. No luck.

Things were about to change though. It was the weekend and it just happened to be her friend Lydia’s birthday. Thanks to a little cyberstalking—yes, I was stooping to Brett’s level—I was able to discern that Lydia was having a party at Vera’s and Nora had RSVP’d weeks ago. I might not have been invited to the party, but Vera’s was public property and I’d be damned if another night was going to go by where I didn’t see her.

I’d thought about calling or texting her, after Georgia’s little pep talk, but I needed to see her in person, where she couldn’t hide behind her fear and hang up on me.

Brett and Hoyt had offered to join me at Vera’s, but I told them I thought it would be best if I went alone. I needed Nora to see that I was making a concentrated effort and not just coincidentally bumping into her.

The party started at seven, so I waited until nine before I went to the bar. Gave her a little time to loosen up and unwind from a long week before I showed up uninvited. When I walked in and found an empty barstool, among the chaos of dancing people and loud music, I looked around until I spotted her. Mingled in with the other girls on the floor, tossing her hands and hair around like she didn’t have a care in the world. The smile on her face. The happiness of just being with her friends, it made me reconsider talking to her. I’d caused her a lot of pain. Did I really want to risk ruining her night of fun by forcing her to talk to me? To think about the decision I was asking her to make? I’d been in Halstead a little over two weeks and I’d already managed to make her run away from me a handful of times. The usual confidence I had about what we could be was dwindling. Could I really handle her rejecting me? And, for Beau?

I drank a beer while I contemplated what I was doing there before I decided that tonight was not the night for another battle with her.

As I was standing to leave, she noticed me and her eyes lit up briefly before she waved me over. So much for exiting unnoticed. I’d play it cool. I’d walk over and say hello. Tell her it was good to see her and ask her if we could talk later this week. Maybe if she saw that I wasn’t desperate to have her back, that I wasn’t pushing her too hard to pick me, she’d come to the conclusion that we should be together on her own.

“Hi,” I said, leaning toward her. She’d walked off the dance floor and met me against the back wall of the bar.

“Hi.” She looked up at me. Her eyes glassy from the alcohol she’d been drinking. She steadied the sway in her stance, resting her hand on my arm. The feel of her hands willingly on my body felt nice. The tight jeans and low-cut bright blue shirt she was wearing wasn’t helping the noble route of just saying hi I’d been planning on taking.

“You look like you’re having fun.”

“I am,” she lilted. “I needed a night out with the girls.” She looked over her shoulder at her group of friends who were oblivious to the fact that one of their own had snuck away from their party. “What are you doing here?”

“Truth?”

“Always.”

“I came to see you,” I confessed. “But, I don’t want to spoil your fun.”

“You’re not.” She shook her head and smiled. She tugged at my shirt. “You want to dance?”

“That’s probably not a good idea. Unless of course you’re single now. Then I’ll dance with you all damn night.”

“I wasn’t single when you kissed me the other night,” she replied, mischievous gleam in her eye.

“How much have you had to drink?” I asked, earning a grimace from her. She grabbed my hand and tugged me out the back door of the bar to a small patio littered with cigarette butts and empty beer cans. The door closed behind us and dampened the loud blare of the music.

“Does it really matter how much I’ve had to drink?” she asked, trailing her hand up my arm. She took a step toward me as her hand found the nape of my neck, her fingers twirling my hair. I closed my eyes for a second, unable to look at the seductive pout of her lips, and took a deep breath.

She’s drunk. This is not what you want. I felt the need to remind myself that kissing her senseless would be a terrible idea. I didn’t want her to choose me when she was clearly inebriated. I wanted her choice to be with me to be a conscious decision.

“What are you doing, Nora?”

“Isn’t this what you want?” she asked, pressing her body up against mine. “Isn’t this what you’ve been fighting for?”

“Not exactly,” I managed to say as she pressed her lips against my neck. The feel of her curves pressed against the hard plane of my chest and her hand creeping up under the shirt I was wearing was making it very hard to think clearly. I told my dick to retreat, but it completely ignored my request. My hands found her hips and I knew it was a bad idea.

“You want to be my dirty little secret,” she said into my ear. “Until you leave again?”

What the fuck did she just say?

“Excuse me,” I said, placing my hands on her waist and pushing her back enough to look her in the eye. “You think that’s what I want? Just to fuck around with you,” I seethed. “You’re drunker than I thought.” I took her hands with mine and removed them from my body.

“We both know that you’re leaving soon,” she argued.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean all I want to do is sleep with you. I thought you understood that. I want more than just a quick fuck behind a bar and to be some seedy affair under your boyfriend’s nose.” I took a step back and ran my hands through my hair. “Jesus, Nora. Is that all I’m worth to you?”

“Don’t get pissed at me,” she spat. “You’re the one who kissed me the other night, remember? You’re the one who keeps taunting me. Begging me to do something I’m not ready to do.”

“I think I should go,” I told her, unable to look her in the eyes. “We’ll talk about this when you’re sober.”

“I want to talk about it now.” She grabbed my arm and stopped me from opening the door. “You keep asking me to give in to my feelings. To end a perfectly good relationship to give you another chance, but every time I try all I can do is see the guy who hurt me.”

“That guy is gone, Nora.” I moved her hand from my arm and opened the door. “I was hoping by now you knew that.” I went back into the bar and let the door close behind me. She’d run away from me enough times that I knew how she had to have felt standing out there alone, but I’d be damned if I was going to stand there and let her make a fool of both of us.