Текст книги "The Absence of Olivia"
Автор книги: Anie Michaels
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Chapter Thirteen
Present Day
The next morning, I sat at my desk, trying not to glance at my phone every twenty seconds for the time. I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. It’s just a hike, Evelyn. He’s just a man, and it’s just a hike. At three minutes past nine, my knee was bouncing and my heart was racing. Oh God, my palms were sweaty. I heard the door open and glanced over to see Nate walking through it. My heart, which was used to speeding up in his presence, decided in that moment, it was necessary to stop altogether. His soft-looking brown hair was mussed and sexy, pushed back away from his face, which only made his prominent jaw that much more attractive. The gray of his t-shirt made his eyes look like clear, blue water. He was wearing khaki colored cargo shorts and I’d never taken a moment to consider men’s calves sexy, but damn, his were. Every single thing about him, on its own, was attractive, but when put all together in the whole package, he was sinful.
To top it all off, he held out a cup of what appeared to be iced coffee.
“I brought this for you,” he said, smiling his crooked smile that immediately restarted my heart. “I figured you had to have gotten up early if you were planning on working before our hike. Thought you could use a little caffeinating.”
I stood and walked toward him, took the cold cup of coffee, and smiled – as if I could have stopped myself. “Thank you. That was thoughtful.”
He shrugged and then I could have sworn I saw a tiny blush creep over his face. “It was nothing.” God, he was cute. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yup, all ready.” I grabbed my water bottle and camera, then we walked out and I locked the door behind me. He’d driven his work truck, and I wondered if it was the only vehicle he had. Once we’d settled and he’d started the engine, I asked him a question to avoid falling into awkward silence.
“So, is this just a work truck, or do they let you drive it all the time?”
He chuckled. “They let me drive it all the time. They don’t really have a choice. It’s my company.”
“Oh, really? I hadn’t realized. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry. There’s no way you could have known. I worked for about ten years with my dad, but when he retired, he sold me the business, so it’s mine now.”
“That must have been fun, working with your father.”
“It was all right most of the time. My Dad is from Boston, so he kind of has a tough shell. He loves really hard, but he’s also a little rough around the edges. So, as long as I was in agreement with him, it was fun. When I disagreed, or wanted to go in a different direction, things could get tense. But my mom never let us disagree for long,” he laughed, which only made me smile again, listening to the sound of his laughter float through the cab of the truck.
“Do your parents live around here?” I asked because I was curious. Also, I wanted to listen to him talk forever. His voice was on a wavelength that made a new and familiar connection with something inside of me.
“Yeah, about twenty minutes from my house. My whole family is local. We’re pretty big.”
“Siblings?”
“Two brothers and two sisters. I’m right smack dab in the middle.”
“Wow. I can’t even imagine. I’m an only child and my parents had me later in life, so it was almost like growing up with grandparents.” I thought about how, and not for the first time, my life might have been different had I had a brother or sister. Then again, growing up that way made me comfortable being lonely, so it wasn’t all bad. I was used to being by myself. “Do you see your family often?”
“There’s a dinner at my parents’ house every Saturday. Everyone is welcome every week, but not everyone goes all the time. If you’ve got other stuff going on, it’s not a big deal. It’s kind of just like an open door dinner. Come if you can, and if you can’t, maybe we’ll see you next week.” He shrugged and as his shoulders moved up and down. I couldn’t help but think of how comfortable he seemed talking about his family, how easy it must have been to have the kind of relationship where you knew every week you could go and be with people who would accept you just as you were and love you regardless.
“Are you close with your family?”
“Yeah, I guess. My mom and dad are enjoying their retirement and keep busy. They’re not around too much, but I see them every now and then.”
“What was it like growing up an only child?”
“Lonely, I guess. But I did have the undivided attention of both my parents, which, in hindsight, was nice. I thought it a little oppressive as a teenager, but looking back, I know my parents loved me tremendously and did their absolute best. But I never had that built-in friendship I imagine other people had with their brothers and sisters.”
“There were times it would have been nice to have the undivided attention from my parents though.” He was quiet for a moment, and then added, “The grass is always greener, ya know?”
I laughed quietly, “You’re right.”
“Have you ever been to Oneonta Gorge?”
“I can’t say that I have,” I turned my head toward him and smiled, a little relieved he was changing the topic.
“It’s a pretty easy hike, right between all the falls, but when you get to the end of the trail, it’s pretty amazing.” He looked at me quickly, his smile so bright and perfect, then looked back at the road. His excitement over his chosen hiking trail was almost adorable.
“I can’t wait,” I responded honestly. We spent the next thirty minutes falling into easy conversation. He was so easy to talk to, and more than a few times made me laugh. I found his unrestrained laugh hypnotic and I, also, found myself wanting to make him laugh often. I wanted to be the reason his loud and happy laughter filled the cab of his truck, sending prickles along my skin, watching his mouth turn up into the sexiest smile.
He pulled into a small parking lot right off the highway and the trailhead was just south of us. He wore a large backpack, but wouldn’t let me take anything when I offered.
“You just carry your water bottle and we’ll be square. It’s not as heavy as it looks,” he said, tilting his head back to indicate he was talking about his backpack. Then he winked at me, and everything except him and his beautiful face faded away. Every trouble I’d dealt with in the last year, every sad moment, every tear was washed away and replaced by warmth. Then, the warmth was replaced immediately with fear. Surely, if this man had the ability to wipe away my sadness with only one wink, he could cause much more heartache than I was ready to endure.
“Okay,” I said breathily, still trying to recover from his beautiful eye winking at me and the way it made me want to hold on to him and push him away all at the same time.
It was still early in the day, but the hikers were out in full force. There were young adults hiking in groups, teenagers taking advantage of the nice weather, young couples taking their children on a hike, which admittedly, made me feel like I could handle it. If toddlers were on the trail, surely I could make it through.
“I wish I would have had the forethought in high school to take a date hiking,” Nate said quietly, nodding his head toward a couple a few feet in front of us. They looked like they were probably just finishing high school or near the end. “It seems like a much better alternative to sitting in a dark theatre watching a movie. At least outside you get to actually see the other person.” I looked ahead, watching as the young man reached out and took the young girl’s hand. She turned to look at him and gave him a shy smile as a blush spread across her face, obviously pleased with the contact. It was sweet and innocent.
“I have to admit, I’ve never been hiking on a date before. It would have been a welcomed idea.”
“Well, I’m glad I could be a first.” I heard his words and then looked at him, giving him a shy smile much like the young girl had just given her date. He didn’t try to hold my hand, but the implication was the same. He wanted me to know I was his date, that he wanted me there in that capacity.
We continued down the path and every once in a while I stopped to take a few photos of something that caught my eye. He was exceedingly patient and even seemed interested in the process, asking a few questions about my camera or how the natural light affected the photo. Then, a few times, I’d finish taking a photo and find him looking at me with affection.
“It’s inspiring to watch you work,” he said with a smile. “Your face is cute when you’re concentrating. I mean,” he said, his smile widening, “you’re cute all the time. But when you’re concentrating, you get this little crinkle between your eyebrows.” His hand came up and his thumb gently brushed my face there. After a moment of reverently caressing me, he dropped his hand and wore a bashful smile. “Come on, the best part is coming up.”
I couldn’t answer him. I could only concentrate on trying to breathe normally, drawing air into my lungs and forcing it back out at a regular pace, so he didn’t pick up on the fact that my heart was pounding and palms were sweating. I’d been touched by a man before, been on the receiving end of a tender caress, but nothing had felt like that. No one had made time stop like Nate’s skin against mine.
After another thirty minutes of wandering along the path, winding through trees, and following a small stream through a narrow gorge, eventually we came to a place where the path ended.
“This is where the hike gets fun,” he said, his eyes lit up with excitement. I looked around, trying to find the next portion of trail to follow.
“Uh,” I said hesitantly. “Where exactly are we supposed to go?”
“Right through there,” he said, pointing straight ahead. I followed his finger and was still confused. The small stream we’d been following continued through a narrow crevasse. It looked like two strikingly tall rock walls with about ten feet between them. No path. No land. Only water between rock walls.
“Through the water?”
“Yeah. It’s only about waist-deep.” He said this as if wading through waist-deep water wasn’t a big deal.
“It’s only spring. That water has got to be freezing,” I said, my voice steadily climbing an octave. “And my camera…”
“Give it to me, I’ll keep it dry.”
“You want me to trust you with my camera? No one holds my camera.” I didn’t care if we were on a date or not, I wasn’t about to hand him my camera. He could have been the second coming of Christ; he wasn’t going to carry my camera.
He held up his hands but still wore a friendly smile. “No problem. I just thought I’d offer. I’m at least eight inches taller than you.” Then he shrugged and started to walk backward toward the stream.
“You’re serious about this?” I asked, still a little surprised it was happening.
“Come on, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He held his hand out to me, waiting for me to take it, his signature half-smile making him irresistible.
I sighed loudly, then reached out and took his hand, trying to ignore the zing of electricity I felt shoot through my body at his touch. “I wish you would have mentioned this beforehand. I might have worn a swimsuit or something.”
“Seriously?” he asked, his hand still gripping mine, paused mid-step. “Damn,” he sighed, hanging his head in mocked disappointment. “Opportunity missed,” he said, sounding distraught, making me giggle. “I’ll remember that for next time.”
“Yeah. Okay,” I said sarcastically through my laughter. “Oh, holy shit,” I said as I stepped into the frigid water, soaking the athletic shoes he’d told me to wear. “Oh, my God, that’s cold.”
“It’s not that cold,” he said, laughing as he held onto my hand and pulled me farther into the water, inch by inch. I was hissing with each step, hating the feeling of the cold water creeping up my calves, inching toward my thighs. Luckily, there were other people there making fools of themselves in the cold water as well, complaining just as I was at the glacial temperature.
Suddenly, a terrifying thought flitted through my mind. “Do you think there are fish in this water?”
He shrugged. “Probably.”
My eyes darted to the water and I tried to see through it, looking for indications of any creatures moving under the surface. I started to panic, thinking I was feeling something brush up against my skin under the water. “I swear to God, if my leg touches a fish, I’m gonna flip out.” The water wasn’t murky, but as was the way with the Pacific Northwest, the riverbed was full of rocks and dirt, making everything under the water look brown. I could see my feet, but it was hazy and unclear.
Nate, still holding my hand and leading me through the water, stopped and let out a loud laugh. His happiness made me temporarily forget I was, possibly, surrounded by fish, and I smiled along with him. When his laughter died down, he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, which somehow shot all the way to my heart, making it clench in my chest.
“Don’t worry, Evelyn. I’ll protect you from all the fish in the stream.”
We continued to wade through the water, my skin finally becoming used to the temperature, and my body slowly submerging as the depth rose from my ankles to mid-thigh. He hadn’t dropped my hand since he first took it, and I didn’t try to pull away; I liked the way it felt to have a man hold my hand. I liked being just half a step behind him and took every opportunity to admire him from my vantage point.
The sun had come out and although it wasn’t terribly hot, the direct sunlight offered a beautiful light to his form. The most interesting part of him, as far as I could tell in that moment, was the way the muscles in his upper arms stretched the fabric of his t-shirt. With every step he took and every sway of his free hand, his biceps and triceps gave a delicious show of contracting and relaxing. A few times, he’d reached up to point out something overhead, and the sleeve would creep just a little further up, displaying even more tanned skin and taut muscle.
“Hmmm,” I heard him murmur right before I walked into the back of him. I let out a surprised oof as my front hit the side of his arm, and I looked up at him to see him smiling down at me, as if he could tell I’d been staring at him.
“Something distracting you back there?” he asked with a knowing grin.
“Perhaps,” I said, not admitting to anything. “Why’d you stop?” I looked around his formidable body to see what had caused his abrupt halt.
“Looks like we might be in a bit of a situation,” he said, raising his free hand to point ahead of us. I saw people wading, or actually swimming, through water that was much deeper than “waist-deep.”
“I thought it only went waist-deep?” I asked, horrified at the thought of putting my nipples in the frigid water. Every woman could attest to the fact that cold water and nipples didn’t mesh well. “Well, this has been fun, Nate,” I said, turning away from him and heading back the way we came. A sharp tug on my hand brought me right back to his side, my breasts pressed against the hardness of the biceps I was just previously admiring.
“Don’t give up on me now,” he said, his eyes peering down into mine with such intensity, I found my breath sneaking away from me. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry.” His free hand came forward and his fingers pushed the wisps of hair that had escaped my ponytail back behind my ear, and every hair follicle on my neck came to attention. He held my gaze for a long moment, his fingers resting at the base of my neck, my pulse pounding through my veins, and all I could think was, ‘please, God, kiss me this very instant.’
But he didn’t, and instead of breathing Nate in, I had to take in actual oxygen, inhaling sharply as the presence of his fingers disappeared from my skin.
“Here’s the plan. I’m gonna go through first, and then I’ll come back and help you through. I’ll take your camera and my backpack and put it on the other side.”
“I’m not going to give you my camera.” My voice was still a little breathy from all the non-kissing that was happening, but I still wasn’t giving him my camera.
He rolled his eyes, which should have pissed me off, but for some reason it only made me smile. “I promise I won’t get it wet. I’ll hold it above my head. It’ll be dry as a bone when it reaches the other side.”
“And what if you trip? What if you get bitten by a giant river monster and my camera falls to the floor of this godforsaken stream? Then what?”
“There is no river monster and I’m not going to trip. Come on, Evelyn. You’re going to have to learn to trust me eventually. This just speeds up the process.”
My head instinctively tilted to the side as I contemplated his words. I was going to have to learn to trust him eventually? This was a foregone conclusion, already? I’d only trusted a handful of people in my lifetime and for some reason, Nate assumed he was going to make the short list. I couldn’t figure out if I thought it was sweet that he wanted to gain my trust, or if I should be running in the opposite direction.
“If you drop my camera in the water, you have to replace it,” I said by way of relenting, my voice still full of air, obviously affected by our close proximity.
“Done,” he said confidently.
“It’s really expensive,” I threw back at him, only slightly annoyed by his confidence. Honestly, his cockiness was more arousing than annoying, but I knew it was imperative to the survival of my tough exterior to remain impassive to all his charms.
“I think I can handle it,” he replied, his voice dropping lower and tinted with a gravelly rumble. My mind immediately started thinking about everything he could handle, including me, and I felt my pulse in profoundly private places.
Since it was impossible for me to speak without saying, “Take me now,” I simply nodded in response. He smiled, all sexy and rugged, then released my hand and lifted my camera from around my neck. Before he could take it away from me fully, I grabbed it and opened the compartment that held the SD card and took it out. If he was going to ruin my camera, I wasn’t going to let him ruin all the pictures I’d taken. I kept my gaze on him as I slipped the card into my bra. His eyes widened and mouth dropped open.
“That was just cruel,” he groaned.
I gave him half a smile and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. He narrowed his eyes and gave another groan. Then proceeded to put my camera inside his backpack. Once it was all zipped up he turned back to me. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” I managed. He stepped away from me, heading toward the narrow passage where brave hikers were up to their armpits in water. Some laughing, some cursing. I looked behind me and found a large rock to sit on while I watched him navigate the water. He held the backpack above his head and even from a distance, I could see his knuckles turning white from gripping it so tightly. Eventually he disappeared around a bend and I could no longer see him or his backpack, so my eyes wandered and I took in the beautiful imagery around me. I laughed to myself, wishing I had my camera to take some photos.
After a few minutes of sitting on the rock and watching people navigate the stream, going in and out of the gorge it created, I finally saw Nate return, his shirt completely wet. As he got closer, I noticed his neck was wet as well. But his hands, which were still up above his head, were dry.
“Your camera is safe and dry on the other side. I left it with a responsible-looking group of hoodlums spraying graffiti on the pine trees.”
“Shut up,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him, but still grinning, unable to stop my lips from turning up at his words. I immediately regretted saying that to him, afraid he’d find my retort offensive. I didn’t know him well enough to be telling him to shut up in a playful way – not everyone understood my sarcasm. Thankfully, his smile broadened at my words and, surprisingly, he only seemed to enjoy my sass.
“I’m kidding. It’s nestled safely at the trunk of a tree about ten yards away from the water. Come on, I’ll take you.” He held out his hand to me again, but that time, I didn’t try to talk myself out of the butterflies I was feeling. I felt them, and I acknowledged them for what they were – a budding attraction. A crush. Nate was a man I wanted to let lead me.
He walked me out into the freezing water until it was barely above my knees, but then stopped short and turned to face me.
“I’m gonna take you out until the water is about to your belly button,” he said, pressing a hand against my stomach, making my breath stop and my heart pound. “Then I’m gonna go under completely and you’re gonna get on my shoulders. Then I’ll walk through and you’ll stay mostly dry.”
“You are not,” I scoffed. “I can see the water came up to your neck. You can’t walk through there with me on your shoulders; you’ll drown.”
He laughed. “I’m not going to drown. Are you always this dramatic?” He lifted a hand to motion toward the gorge. “I might have slipped a little going through the first time and went under a little, but I kept your precious camera dry – I promise.”
My eyes went wide at his admission. He had fallen in the godforsaken river. But I reminded myself that my camera was fine, that he was only trying to help me.
“You think you can really carry me on your shoulders through there?”
He raised one eyebrow at me and pulled his chin back in surprise. “Are you serious? Shut up.”
I immediately laughed at his words, and then continued to laugh because it felt so good to do so. With one shut up from Nate, I’d lowered a wall I’d had built for years. Granted, it was still pretty much up and surrounding the most vulnerable part of me, but those few bricks that had just collapsed weighed a ton. I’d never felt this light before.
He tugged me farther into the water and I kept my yelps silent as the water encroached on the apex of my thighs, the icy water causing all kinds of nerves to fire haphazardly. True to his word, when the water had reached my belly button, he stopped and faced me.
“Okay, I’m gonna go under and you just hop onto my shoulders. When I stand up, hang on tight. If you fall in, this will be all for naught.”
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “Did you really just say all for naught?”
He only winked at me in response, then turned his back to me, and proceeded to dunk himself under the water.
“Oh, shit, he was serious,” I said to myself as I clamored to climb up onto his shoulders. I managed to get my legs over his shoulders, trying not to think about the jolt of electricity that shot up my spine when his hands wrapped around my thighs, holding me tightly. Once I was situated, he started to rise out of the water. As more of my body left the cold water, it became apparent his body was taking on more and more of my weight, and I started to feel badly for the poor guy.
When he was standing straight again, I heard him take in a deep breath trying to compensate for the oxygen he missed while underwater. I leaned forward a little, my hands plastered against his forehead. “Am I too heavy?” I asked, but before I could get the last word out, I lost my balance and started to fall forward. Instinctively, my feet wrapped around the back of Nate’s waist, and my hands gripped him below his chin, trying desperately not to fall in the mountain-cold water.
“Whoa, I got you,” he said, his hands gripping me tighter on my thighs, his big arms squeezing my legs, keeping me in place. “You all right?” I heard him ask, noticing the garbled sound of his voice. It was then I decided to loosen the death grip I had on his face.
“This was a dumb idea. Just put me down, I’ll swim through.”
“Evelyn, trust me. I’ve got you.”
“Okay,” I whispered, knowing he couldn’t hear me.
I felt him take the first step with me atop his shoulders and I felt my face pull back in excitement and fear. I hadn’t been on anyone’s shoulders since spring break in Cancun my senior year of college when Elliot, Liv, Devon, and I were playing drunken chicken during one of our late-night pool excursions. This was different. Nate’s body was unfamiliar and, any way you looked at it, my most private and sensitive areas were pressed against him. For someone who I didn’t really know that well, it was an unusually familiar situation to be in. But regardless of what my head was telling me about what was appropriate or inappropriate, I liked feeling Nate that close to me, with his strong arms snaked around my legs. It had never been this exciting on Elliot’s shoulders.
He walked through the canal created by the water and at its deepest, I saw the water ripple from his heavy breathing. He was scarily close to being underwater and I tried not to panic. Surely, my dry shirt wasn’t worth his dying. But then the water line started to lower, and more and more of his body was out of the water. When we’d made it through the deepest part and the water had receded to his waist again, he tapped my thigh with his large hand. Again, I ignored my body’s immediate response to the feeling of his hand and the primal sound it made against the wet skin of my leg.
“I’m gonna dunk down again so you can climb off, all right?”
I nodded, still gripping his forehead tightly.
“Evelyn? You good up there?”
“Sorry,” I said, realizing he couldn’t hear me nod my head. “I’m fine. Go ahead.” He slowly slipped down into the water, and when it was deep enough, I pushed off his shoulders and found my footing on the riverbed below. He stood up and even if I’d tried, I couldn’t have kept my eyes from watching the water cascade down his back, his arms lifting to run his hands through his wet hair. It was, possibly, the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in person.
He turned back to face me, eyes wide as cold water rushed down his face. A hand came down and brushed the water away, and then his eyes focused on me. His gaze darted from my eyes, to my shirt, then back up again.
“You’re dry,” he said with a smirk.
“Relatively,” I responded quickly, before I thought much about it. I realized what I’d implied, blushed, and then watched as his smirk grew into a smug grin. “Okay,” I groaned, embarrassed, “where’s my camera?”
