Текст книги "The Absence of Olivia"
Автор книги: Anie Michaels
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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
Chapter Two
Present Day
“Ruby. Jax. It’s time to wake up, guys,” I said gently as I flipped on the light switch, just like I had done every school day for the last three months. And like most days, neither one of the kids budged. They slept like rocks and woke up slower than molasses. I walked to the foot of Ruby’s bed and sat down slowly, trying not to jar her.
“Ruby, sweetie, time to get ready for school.” I reached out and rubbed my hand gently down her back, feeling her finally wake up a little underneath my touch. “Come on, Rubster. Time to wake up.” I watched as she stretched, her head of brown, curly hair emerging from under the covers, little hands reaching out as if to hold on to sleep a little bit longer.
“Aunt Evie?” she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.
“Yes, baby?”
“How many days until summer break?”
I laughed. Ruby loved school, but she loved sleep more. “Quite a few, honey. You’ve got two months left.” A loud groan came from under her blanket. Then I heard her brother grumble too, although, he was less resistant to waking up.
“Jaxy, you awake?”
“Yeah,” came his little voice from the other side of the room. When Liv and Devon had first gotten married, they purchased a smaller, two-bedroom house. That had worked fine for them for a while. A couple years later, however, when Jaxy was born, they started to feel just a little cramped. When they finally moved into a bigger house, Ruby had cried and cried when they told her she was going to get her own room. She was devastated she wouldn’t be sharing a room with her baby brother any longer. So, just like any parent trying to deal with a four-year-old’s tantrum, they gave her what she wanted. Ruby and Jax had shared a room since his birth and Liv and Devon figured eventually one or both of them would want their own space. When that time came, there was a spare bedroom waiting for one of them.
“Okay, kiddos, let’s get up and get going.”
This was our routine. Every school day, I came over to get the kids ready in the morning. Devon was here, but he had to leave for work before the school bus came. Before, Liv would have been here doing this – being a mom – but I stepped in after the funeral as a way to help. Liv had been a stay-at-home mom and loved every minute of it. So, in her absence, Jax had recently adjusted to going to preschool. Another heartbreaking change to his regular routine. But he was a trooper. Both of them were.
“You guys get dressed and meet me downstairs for breakfast.”
I had just finished packing Ruby’s lunch when I heard the unmistakable sounds of Devon coming down the stairs. Longer strides, heavier footfalls. It was only moments before I saw his frame fill the doorway from the living room to the kitchen.
“Good morning, Evie,” he said when he saw me. That morning, not unusually, there was a smile on his face. It wasn’t the best smile I’d ever seen him wear, but he was slowly improving.
“Morning,” I responded, smiling back at him. He turned sideways to squeeze between the kitchen counter and me, and I had the same thought I’d had for ten years whenever he was close. I remembered him as he was the first time I met him, shirtless and huge. I hadn’t known it at the time, but he was a player for the college football team, which explained his size. After college, however, when his job became more of the suit and tie variety, his bulk went away. He was still tall, and still very much an overwhelming presence, but he wasn’t nearly as huge as he used to be. What I’d seen from summers at the lake house, Devon was still built and still had every muscle imaginable, they were just less enormous now.
“You’ll be here when Ruby gets off the bus this afternoon, right?” he asked as he grabbed a mug out of the cupboard.
“Oh.” I paused and turned to him. “Remember last week when I told you I couldn’t be here this afternoon? I have a meeting with a client. Remember?”
“Shit,” he whispered, closing his eyes. I hated this. I hated this part. The part where I could see the ache in him, could see how much he missed his wife. I knew that was what was going through his head. He would first berate himself for not being able to remember our conversation, and then he would think about how none of this would be a problem if Liv were still alive. I hated that even though I did everything I could for him, for his kids, I was never enough.
“I can cancel,” I said quickly, trying to smooth over the situation, to fix it before it caused him any more pain. “Or reschedule. It’s really not a big deal.” I waved my hand, as if I could magically erase the agony that came with losing his wife and all the pain in the aftermath. If I could have waved it away, I would have. Devon had suffered a lot in the last three months and sometimes, I was at a loss as to how to help him. But I could cancel my meeting.
“Evie,” he said, his voice so low and so sad. “You can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Giving things up for us. Rearranging your life for us. It’s not fair to you.” His back was to me and I was facing away from him, but the tension in the room was zipping between us like lightening.
“It’s really not a big deal,” I said as I turned my attention back to the lunches I was preparing. Just like every other time since I’d met him, his rejection hurt me in a way I didn’t like to acknowledge. I knew Devon cared about me, knew from the moment we met I was important to him, but I felt differently for him and I always had.
“Are you sure?” he asked, even though his tone made it clear he wasn’t.
“What other choice do we have?” My work was very much fluid and I was my own boss. I had no one to answer to besides my clients. Devon worked for a corporate conglomerate and the chances of him coming home early were slim. He’d taken a lot of time off when Liv had been sick, and then again when she had died, and even though his job was understanding to a point, he’d used up all the time allotted to him for the death of his wife and had none to spare. There was a long pause, and the silence was filled with so much angst and emotion. Perhaps, and most likely, I was the only one feeling everything between us. After all, that was usually the way it worked. I watched from afar with a veil over my real emotions, only letting the outside see what I wanted to show, while on the inside I was waging a war I never wanted to fight. What other option did we have? I’d had a thousand options. But I gave them all up when I decided to bury my emotions.
“All right,” he finally sighed. “But this is the last time, Evelyn.”
Something dangerous rolled through my body when he used my full name. Just another feeling to bury.
I turned my head just enough to meet his eyes over my shoulder. I smiled at him. He didn’t return it, just stared at me over his cup of coffee. Before either of us looked away, two small children came bounding into the kitchen, running directly to their father.
“Dad, Jax didn’t change his underwear,” Ruby tattled as she wrapped her arms around her father’s middle. I smiled at the image and then turned again to the lunches.
“Jax, did you put on clean underwear?” Devon’s fatherly tone indicated he already knew the answer to his question.
“I looked in my drawer and there was none.”
“Shit,” Devon murmured. “I forgot to do the laundry again.”
“Jaxy, I think I put a load in the dryer yesterday afternoon. Why don’t you go check?” I held my breath, knowing Devon would view this as me doing too much. I couldn’t help it. He needed my help. I listened as Ruby told her father about the tigers she was learning about in school, and as she jabbered, he inserted the appropriate responses.
I turned to watch Jax run through the kitchen on his way back upstairs as he yelled, “Found some!” and waved his clean underwear over his head.
Breakfast was served, lunches were packed, and as Ruby, Jax, and I sat at the table laughing at something Jax had said, Devon walked through the kitchen, stopping to kiss both of his children on the head as he passed.
“Ruby, be good for Aunt Evie this afternoon, and Jax, I’ll pick you up from preschool on my way home.”
“Bye, Daddy,” Ruby said with a smile.
“Can we have pizza for dinner, Daddy?” Jax asked.
With a laugh, Devon responded. “Yeah, buddy. We can have pizza. Love you both.”
“Love you too. Bye, Dad,” Jax said, mouth full of pancake.
“Thanks again, Evie. I’ll see you this evening.” His voice was back to being friendly, but his words were still a little cold. That made me feel guilty. I was trying to help him, but he wasn’t comfortable taking it from me.
“Have a good day.” My voice was quiet and I didn’t bother looking at him. I knew what I’d see – a man who missed his wife.
Chapter Three
Last Day of Freshman Year
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much alcohol in one place.” My eyes swept over the counter in the kitchen of the Beta house, which had been transformed into a temporary bar. At least fifty bottles of liquor were all lined up, and a few of the freshman Betas were manning them.
“Betas take end of the school year extremely seriously,” Liv said, her voice already a little deep, her words slurred, the alcohol having its desired effect.
“Ladies, welcome to our little get together.” My head turned toward the voice, and I smiled when I saw Elliot walking toward us. Since Liv and Devon had started seeing each other, we’d spent a lot of time at his house and I’d gotten to know quite a few of the brothers. I knew I was only accepted because I came with Liv, and without her, I would have been painfully out of place. However, a few of the guys genuinely seemed to like me, Elliot being one of them.
“Hey,” I said, my smile brightening at his familiar face. “How’d finals go?”
“Well,” he laughed, “I probably could have done better. My statistics class kicked my ass.”
“But everything else went well?”
“I think so.”
“Elliot, what exactly are you going to do with a sociology degree?” Liv’s words were a little sharp, but he didn’t seem to pick up on her tone.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I’ve still got another year to figure it out.” He gave her a wink with his answer, which made me smile, but didn’t amuse her.
“See, that’s why I like Devon. He already has a plan. Business major then on to his master’s in business. His track is all laid out for him. None of this uncertainty you seem to thrive on.”
It had become obvious to me as I watched Liv fall for Devon, that his ambition and direction in life was something she latched on to, something she admired. His strong current down the river of his life pulled her right along with him. They balanced each other out in that way. She had been a free bird. She did what she wanted, when she wanted – not to mention whom she wanted. Now, she was his free bird and she followed him around. As long as she was with him, she felt like she had direction.
“I’ll figure it out eventually,” Elliot said, not unkindly. In fact, he’d never taken an annoyed or angry tone with Liv. Not even when she’d been completely out of line. That was one thing I really liked about him. “How about you, Evie?” His eyes found mine, his smile still friendly. “How did your finals go?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but Liv’s voice rang out before I had a chance.
“Evie’s finals were a piece of cake because she was taking mostly art courses where all the answers are subjective. How do you feel about this painting? What did this sculpture make you feel?” Her voice was exaggerated and haughty, making a show out of impersonating my professors. She wasn’t far from the mark, I had found my finals kind of easy, but they were intro classes and hadn’t been too difficult to begin with.
I laughed but then answered when she was finished.
“I think I did all right.”
“Well then, let’s get you a congratulatory drink.” He held his hand out to me and offered me his ridiculously cute smile and I found myself putting my hand in his before I gave it a second thought. He immediately palmed my hand and then twined our fingers together as he pulled me through the crowd gathered in front of the bar. As we got closer to the liquor, the crowd grew thicker, and I pulled myself closer to him, my front pressed up against his arm. It felt nice to have my body pressed up against a man.
He made it right up to the counter and I saw his brothers nod at him in recognition. “Just get me a beer,” he said, and then turned back to me. “What’ll it be?” he asked, his lips moving closer to my ear. The movement of his breath on my skin sent prickles down my spine and I couldn’t ignore how much I liked the feeling of them.
“Can I just have a vodka cranberry?”
“You can have anything you want.” His eyes sparkled as he spoke, and I found myself smiling at him, feeling particularly punchy even without any alcohol in my system yet. He gave me a wink and then told the bartender my order. After a moment or two, and a much shorter wait than anyone else in the room had, we were handed our drinks. Elliot nodded toward the sliding doors, indicating he wanted to go outside, and I nodded in agreement. He then led me through the throngs of people, like fish swimming upstream, until we were finally outside.
I thought, since we weren’t surrounded by people, he’d want to let go of my hand, but when I started to release his, he strengthened his grip and pulled me closer. It was impossible to hide the smile that stretched over my face. We walked to a bench overlooking their house’s underwhelming yard – a large patch of grass with one sad, sagging volleyball net stretched across it, drooping in the middle. I sat first and then inwardly warmed when he sat down right next to me, even though it left plenty of empty bench on the other side of him.
“So,” he said before sipping his beer. “You know all about my lack of ambition, tell me about your plans. You’re a sophomore next year, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, and I might be even more unmotivated than you.”
“Well, now there’s a challenge I will gladly accept. What makes you so unmotivated?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I guess I just don’t really have the urge to find the career that will make me the most money.”
“Ah, I see. You’re not motivated by greed. Satan would be very disappointed in you.”
“No,” I laughed, “I suppose I’m not. And I make my lack of greed up to Satan by being really good at gluttony.”
I watched as Elliot’s eyes floated down over my body. He tried to hide it by bringing his red cup up to his lips and taking a drink, but there was no use, the heat his gaze caused followed the trail of his eyes. When they met back up with mine, and it was obvious he’d been caught ogling me, he simply smiled.
“Gluttony looks good on you.” His comment floated in the air between us, both of us smiling like fools. “But seriously,” he finally said, breaking the electric silence between us, “what is it you want to do after college?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course honestly. I never want you to lie to me.”
I ignored the flip of my stomach at his use of the word never, as if we’d have an always. “I want to be a photographer.”
“That’s pretty ambitious,” he said, his tone argumentative.
“You think so? I don’t know. I think it sounds kind of lazy.”
“I mean, I totally get why you feel that way, but when I think of people who do photography for a living, or art in general, I think of people relying on inspiration for their next paycheck. It’s easy to show up for a desk job and get your monthly check, but a photographer’s got to actually work for their money.”
“I guess that’s true,” I replied, feeling a little better about the quiet dream I’d never really shared with anyone. “So, what are you really going to do with your sociology degree?”
“That’s a good question. You’ll be the first person I tell when I decide.”
We sat on that bench for the majority of the evening, only leaving after we’d both downed multiple drinks and were feeling a little fuzzy. He asked me to dance and I had not one reason not to. Also, I was hoping I could feel my body pressed up against his again.
It was with my front pressed to his, my hands wrapped around his neck, his thigh between my knees, that I found a place in my mind where nothing else seemed to exist. I was just drunk enough to feel happy, slightly weightless, and loose, but not drunk enough to be stumbly or obnoxious. His hands were moving up and down my back, each downward swipe coming closer and closer to my backside. On each pass, I silently begged for him to graze his hands over my ass, to show me in some physical way he wanted me, wanted to do more than sit on a bench and drink with me.
“You’re killing me here, Evie,” he said in my ear, sending shivers throughout my body. He must have felt me tremble because his arms squeezed me gently. I took his admission as a clue that he needed me to move us forward, needed me to give him permission. I leaned away from him, feeling the scruff that had grown on his face throughout the day scrape against my cheek. My hands slid from the back of his neck to his shoulders, and I pulled him toward me, angling my face up to his.
The kiss, our first, was hesitant, soft, and mostly sweet. His lips brushed over mine, their lushness a surprise to me. They were plump and made it almost impossible not to kiss him a little harder, to use them to their capacity. We both inhaled, simultaneously pulling each other closer with the breath. His hand came up to grip the back of my neck and then his tongue was gently teasing. I opened, thankful he’d made the move and not waited for me, and I lost a little bit of myself in that kiss.
His tongue traced mine, and I let out a whimper. I couldn’t find it in myself to be embarrassed by my sounds and, in fact, he seemed to like them. He responded with a low growl, which only made everything that was already burning up in my body liquefy. I forgot I was at a frat party, forgot I was on a dance floor surrounded by people, forgot about everything except Elliot and that kiss.
When he pulled away it was with a gasp, as if he’d forgotten to breathe while worshipping my lips, but then his mouth found my neck and slowly slid down, leaving a trail of wetness as his tongue darted out. I dropped my forehead to his shoulder, just trying to stay upright as his mouth assaulted me.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for weeks, Evie.”
Something about his words, the idea that he’d been thinking about me, wanting me, sent me over some proverbial line. Suddenly, I was desperate for his mouth. Hearing his need for me was more of an aphrodisiac than I’d ever experienced. My lips found his, and I kissed him with renewed vigor, my hands taking more liberties with his body, running down his chest, over his ribs, around his waist. He seemed to be enjoying the new enthusiasm with which I was kissing him, and before I was finished, he’d pulled away and grabbed my hand, leading me across the dance floor.
I followed him into the house and we made it to the staircase before he stopped and pushed me up against the wall, his hands spanning the sides of my hips, his tongue brushing up against mine again.
“I want to take you to my room,” he rasped, his mouth against my neck again. I arched my back, pressing my breasts into his chest, aching for some sort of contact.
“Um, all right…” I responded.
“We don’t have to have sex.”
“Um, all right.” He pulled away at my response.
“If you don’t want to go upstairs, just tell me. Honestly, I just want to be alone with you, kiss you in an empty room, instead of being surrounded by a bunch of other people.”
“Um, all right,” I said, that time smiling. Luckily, he smiled in return. He grabbed my hand and led me further up the stairs to the second floor, then up to the third. We walked down a corridor of closed doors and I wondered how many of those doors had people behind them, and what state of undress they were in.
We stopped at a door and I watched as he pulled keys out of his pocket and unlocked it. He swung the door open and then motioned for me to enter first. I was pleasantly surprised that the room wasn’t a disaster and it didn’t smell. I’d been on the boy’s floor of my dorm before and was appalled at how smelly boys could be when their mothers were no longer cleaning up after them. Elliot’s room was neat, organized, and odor-free.
All thoughts of his room were pushed from my brain when his arms wrapped around me from behind and his luscious lips made contact with the skin just below my ear.
“I can’t believe I’ve finally got you in my room,” he said, his words breathed against my overheated skin. My hand gripped the overly long hair at the nape of his neck, my back arched pushing my backside right against the erection I felt there. “Every time I see you here, you’re attached to Devon and Liv by the hip, and I always got the feeling I wasn’t supposed to try to get with you.”
All the heat disappeared at his words, and I was left cold. The sheen of sweat I’d built from the kissing was now a layer of cold wetness that blanketed me, causing me to shiver.
“What?” I asked, my hands paused in his hair, my back straightening, and hair on my arms prickling and standing up. He must have noticed the change in me, must have felt the shift in my arousal, and his hands stopped moving over me. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing, really. It just kind of always seemed like you were off limits.”
I pulled away and turned to look at him, trying to find the real answer in his face. “Off limits? Why would I be off limits?”
“Evie, I’m not trying to upset you. It just always seemed like if I tried to talk to you or anything, Devon would have been upset about it.”
“He’s with Liv.”
“I know. That’s kind of why I always thought it was weird.” His eyes never left mine, but they were filled with question and honesty. “Did you guys date before or something?”
I shook my head. “We’ve never dated. He’s just my roommate’s boyfriend.” It was the truth, but for some reason, it felt like a lie.
“I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but I really like you, and I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since I first saw you.” His hands came up to frame my face and my eyelids fluttered at his touch. “I don’t like to share, Evie. So if you’re with someone, let me know.”
I shook my head slightly, my gaze darting back and forth between his lips and his big brown eyes. “I’m not with anyone. I want to be here with you.”
“I’m going to kiss you now, but that’s all tonight, okay? I just want to kiss you.”
A big part of me was irritated that he was vowing only to kiss me, but a bigger part of me remembered his kisses and wanted them badly. “Okay.”
He walked me backward slowly until my calves hit his mattress, and I landed on my butt with a bounce and a small laugh. He stood over me, his legs straddling my knees, which I was forcefully pressing together in an effort to relieve the pressure building between my legs. His hands came back to my face as he bent down and pressed his lips to mine.
He kissed me and I slowly fell backward on the bed, loving the delicious pressure of the mattress at my back and his body on my front. The noise from the party downstairs faded away and all I could hear were his breaths and low groans, which slipped out of him every once in a while. He kept to his word of just kissing, although his hands roamed over my clothed body.
He made me feel special. Wanted. Like he really had been wanting to kiss me forever and was so grateful finally to have me under him, to be able to kiss me however he wanted.
When a loud knock came at the door, he paused, almost as if he was waiting to see if the person knocking would go away. They didn’t. The knocking came again along with a loud groan from Elliot.
“What do you want?” he yelled at the door.
“Elliot, is Evie in there with you?” Devon’s voice sounded concerned from the other side of the door, and we both sat up, surprised to hear him.
“Shit,” Elliot muttered as he stood and walked to the door. I sat up and watched him, using my fingers to straighten out my hair. When he opened the door, it was obvious he was irritated. I watched as he flung the door back and nearly barked, “What do you want?”
Devon looked surprised by Elliot’s anger, but blinked it away, his eyes moving past Elliot to find me sitting on the bed. He looked me up and down, which embarrassed me as he was obviously looking for some evidence as to what we were doing on the bed. “I need Evie.”
“For what?” Elliot growled before I could even respond.
“For Olivia.”
Elliot scoffed, and then ran his hand over his chin. “Sure, man. Whatever.”
Devon stared at Elliot for a few moments, neither one of them backing down. Finally, unable to stand the tension any longer, I stood and walked to the door.
“Where is she?”
“In the bathroom. She’s drunk and wants to go home. Wouldn’t let me take her myself.”
I nodded, understanding. Sometimes, Liv wasn’t a happy drunk. In fact, she was usually angry. And that anger was usually aimed at the male sex. “Give me a minute. I’ll meet you down there.”
Devon’s eyes bounced between Elliot and me, looking uncomfortable with leaving me alone with him again. But after a few awkward moments, he walked away toward the stairs. I turned to Elliot, took his hand off the doorknob, and closed it slowly.
“It’s not his fault,” I said softly, hoping he’d calmed down a bit. “Olivia isn’t a great person to be around when she’s been drinking.” I tentatively reached out my hand and wrapped it around his forearm, hoping he wouldn’t pull away. I wanted to go back to five minutes ago when all I could feel were his hands on me and his mouth kissing me senseless. He let out a sigh at my touch, as though he was releasing some of the tension I could feel coiled in his muscled arms. When I slid my hand lower to his palm, he linked his fingers with mine and tugged me closer. It was my turn to sigh when he ran the back of his free hand over my cheek.
“You’re oblivious and I can’t tell if it’s cute or irritating.”
“I’m not oblivious,” I whispered, even though I had no idea what he was referring to.
Elliot didn’t respond, just ran his thumb over the line of my jaw, then up and over my bottom lip. He slowly leaned forward and kissed me without urgency or need. It was soft and warm. When he pulled away, I wasn’t ready for his mouth to be gone, so I bit my lip to keep from frowning.
“When are you leaving to go home for the summer?” I was glad to hear all the anger had left his voice and he was back to the calm and gentle Elliot he’d been all night.
“Day after tomorrow.”
“Can I take you to breakfast in the morning?”
I nodded.
“I’ll pick you up at ten, okay?”
I nodded again. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“I’ll see you then.”
“Okay.” He squeezed my hand just before he let it go, and then I opened the door and left to find my friend.
When I found Olivia, she was sitting on the floor of the communal bathroom down the hall from Devon’s room. I cringed, thinking of how filthy the bathroom was and how her hands were lying flat on the nasty tiled floor. She was leaning up against the wall, head hanging low, her hair creating a veil over her face. One of her flip-flops had come off, and her purse was three feet away from her, splayed on the gross tiles.
“Okay, Livy, time to go.” I knelt down and tried lifting her under her arms, not wanting to touch her hands. She didn’t budge much, but she did grumble at me about wanting to go back to sleep. “Liv, seriously, get up off the floor. You’re going to catch chlamydia down there.” I tried to lift her again, but it was no use.
“Do you want some help?” Devon appeared in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, watching me struggle.
“Would you mind?”
He didn’t answer, but he walked to her, bent down, and with one arm around her back, the other behind her knees, he lifted her as if she weighed nothing. He moved to the door and I picked up her loose flip-flop and her purse, following behind.
“You can’t carry her all the way home. Let’s call a cab.”
“Evie, it’s not that far. I can make it.” He punctuated his words by adjusting Liv in his arms, her body jumping but falling back closer to his. She was out. I’d never seen her that drunk before.
“How’d she get this drunk?” I asked as I followed him out of the house, the telltale sounds of the college party muting the farther we walked from the door.
“She just kept going back for more. I tried to get her to slow down, but when I realized she wasn’t going to, I stopped drinking so at least one of us would be sober.”
The thoughtfulness of his actions wasn’t lost on me. Not all college boys would stay sober to make sure their sloppy-drunk date was safe. I imagined most boys would drink right along with her hoping it would lead to drunken sex. Liv looked anything but sexy right then.
“Liv has some issues. When she drinks, all the walls she usually puts up to protect herself fall down and she starts to feel things. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you she’s angry with.”
He was silent for a while and I just listened to the sound of our footsteps on the concrete.
“How high are her walls?” His voice was rough, a mixture of emotion and exhaustion.
“What do you mean?”
“Her walls. Are they so high that no one will ever be able to get over them? Or are they just, like, intimidatingly high?”
I thought about his question, picturing him on one side of a cartoonishly high wall, Liv on the other, back leaning up against it, hair fallen around her face, head bowed. “I don’t think anyone’s ever really tried to climb them.”
“You’re on the other side,” he said in argument.
“I didn’t climb it, though. I watched her build it and just happened to end up on the right side.” It was true. I’d been a part of her life before she’d been damaged and, thankfully, she’d never pushed me away. He let out a loud sigh, either from frustration or from exertion. “No one’s ever really stuck around long enough to try to break through, Devon. She’s never let anyone get that close.”
