Текст книги "When You're Back"

Автор книги: Abbi Glines

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Mase

The smile that lit Reese’s face when I opened her office door made all the pain of missing her and worrying about her fade away. To see her smile like that, sitting behind such a nice desk, made it all worth it. She was happy.

“I did it. I did everything on my list,” she said, with pride in her voice.

I walked over to her as she stood up and reached for her purse.

Pulling her into my arms, I held her close and inhaled her scent before covering her mouth with mine. I needed a taste before we went back to my truck for the ride home. Her hands came up and clung to my arms. I loved it when she did that. Like she needed to hold on to me.

When I had enough to get me home, I pressed one last kiss to her lips and moved my head back so that I could take her in. “I’m so proud of you.”

She beamed at me. “I’m proud of me, too.”

That. That was all I needed. Anything she wanted to do, I’d make it happen if I could hear those words from her mouth. She had a lot to be proud of. I never wanted her to doubt herself again.

“Ready to go home?” I asked.

She slipped her purse over her shoulder. “Yes.”

I put my hand on her lower back, and we walked out the door. She turned and locked it with her new set of keys, then glanced up at me. “Piper left early. She said she’d see me tomorrow, so I don’t have to let her know I’m gone.”

Good. The sooner I got her home, the better.

On the ride home, she talked about her day and all the e-mails and phone calls she’d gotten. She sounded excited, like she had enjoyed every minute of it. I let her happiness push away my own feelings about the day I’d had out of my mind. Aida had stayed gone all day. Momma said I just needed to give her some space to deal. She said it was time Aida got over this crush she had on me. Major bringing it up was the best thing that could have happened to her. She had to get over it now and move on.

That didn’t make it easier, and I was concerned about where Aida had run off to. She was young and so naive and silly about things. The fact that she had a crush on me proved that even more. I didn’t want her going out and getting hurt because of this. I’d blame myself.

When we pulled into the driveway, Aida’s truck was sitting there. Looked like I was going to face this sooner rather than later, and I didn’t want Reese hearing any of it. Aida was sitting in the driver’s seat with her head on the steering wheel like she was crying. Great.

I parked the truck and looked over at Reese, who was staring at Aida. I never wanted Reese to know that Aida had a thing for me. That was something I had to shut down now so we could get on with things. Reese’s emotions weren’t going to be messed with here. I had to protect her first.

“I need to talk to her. She’s going through something right now, and I’m the only one who can help her move on,” I explained. I wanted to go inside and eat dinner with Reese, then enjoy a long shower together before we curled up and she read to me. But that wasn’t happening tonight. I had to put this behind us.

She nodded. “OK. I’ll go fix us some dinner.”

The tone in her voice sounded off, but I was probably imagining things, since I was already worried about this shit with Aida. I leaned over and kissed her before getting out of the truck.

Reese climbed down before I could get to her. “Go do what you need to,” she said, and she walked up the stairs without looking back at me.

That wasn’t like Reese. Maybe she was just tired and ready to go inside. I wanted to go with her. Shit, this was all kinds of fucked-up.

I walked over to the driver’s-side door of Aida’s truck and opened it. “Move over, I’m driving,” I said when she lifted her tear-streaked face to look at me.

She didn’t question me. Once she was on the other side, I climbed in. “Put on your seat belt,” I told her when she didn’t reach for it.

Once she was buckled, I pulled out of the driveway and drove to the main road. We needed to talk, but I was going to drive while we did it. I needed something to do other than look at her and face this shit.

“Talk, Aida. Stop crying, and talk to me.”

She sniffled, and I watched her wipe at her face. “What do you want me to say? Major said it all.”

Well, that clarified that. “What the hell, Aida? Seriously? How did this happen?”

She let out a shaky sigh. “You were . . . are my everything, Mase. You always have been. You’re there when I need someone. We have fun together. We laugh. We fit. I just don’t know why you can’t see that. She . . . she doesn’t fit you. I do. I know you so much better than she does.”

Motherfucker. How had I missed this? I felt so blindsided. “You’re my cousin. Hell, Aida, I saw you a couple times a year growing up. It wasn’t like we were inseparable. The way you talk about us sounds like we did everything together. I don’t see how you cooked all this up in your head. I’ve never once given you reason to think we have something or even had something. We hardly see each other.”

Aida sighed. “You don’t see it. We’ve always had a connection. I could feel it. I know you did, too. Reese messed this all up. You think you love her. You just don’t remember what we’ve had together.”

Yes, I loved Reese. I loved Reese like a man insane. She was my world. That wasn’t ever changing. “Aida, Reese is everything I never knew I needed but I can’t live without. Telling yourself that there is, or was, something between us is pointless. You’ve always been jealous of others getting my attention. I knew that. But we were kids, and you were demanding. I overlooked it or ignored it. But this can’t be ignored. Reese is the most important person in my life.”

Aida let out another sob. “Why can’t that be me? What does she have that I don’t have? How can I be her? How do I win your love?”

Holy hell. “You can’t. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t be like her and win my love. Reese is my one. You will find a guy one day who will be that for you, and no one will ever compare.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I never have,” she said in a sad voice.

“I’m trying to be understanding here, but you’re making it hard. I don’t get it. This isn’t healthy, Aida. You’ve got to see that.”

She began crying softly again, and I just drove. She had to see the truth here and deal with it. The lights of Fort Worth appeared in the distance. I hoped a coffee shop was open, because I needed something to get me through this.

“What if she isn’t your forever? What if one day she leaves? Or you fall out of love with her? You don’t know the future. No one does. People break up, and they even get divorced. What about when you don’t love her anymore?”

None of that was happening, and hearing her even mention it pissed me off. “Not me. That isn’t me. I don’t give up. I’d never give up on her.”

Aida laid her head back on the seat and let out a frustrated groan. “You’re so stubborn.”

I almost laughed. She was calling me stubborn. Seriously? “This has got to end, Aida. I’m not kidding. Reese is mine. She’s my happiness. My reason for waking up in the morning. She is every smile on my face. That’s it. Nothing will change that.”

Aida closed her eyes as I pulled into a Starbucks drive-through. A beer would be better, but I had to drive, so a black coffee was going to have to suffice. “You want anything?” I asked her.

“No,” she said sulkily.

I ordered mine, and we sat there in silence. Once I had my drink I turned back toward the ranch.

“She’ll leave you one day, and I’ll be gone. You’ll regret this. I swear you will,” Aida said, looking out the window.

The only thing I would regret was that I had missed all the signs and let it get this far gone. Aida needed to go home. Her visit was over. I hoped it would be years before her next one.

When I finally got home after dropping Aida back at my parents’ house, I’d been gone for more than two hours. Aida had wanted to talk more, and I had listened, but I didn’t feel like I had made any progress with her. She was still warning me that I was messing up. I was beginning to think my cousin was mentally unbalanced.

As I opened the door, the smell of garlic and butter met my nose. Walking into the kitchen, I could see spaghetti simmering in a pot of boiling water on the stove. Toasted French bread rubbed with garlic and butter sat beside it.

But Reese wasn’t there.

I headed for the bedroom, and just as I reached the door, I heard her voice. I stopped and realized she was reading. Alone. Without me.

She had worked her first day at a new job, and I’d left her here. Instead of pouting like most women would, she had cooked dinner and was now going on with her night. My gut knotted up. I felt like an ass. I should have been here with her. I should have cooked for her. And I should be there holding her while she read. That was our thing.

Opening the door, I stepped into the room, my eyes instantly finding her. She was curled up in our bed, with her hair in low pigtails and dressed in a tank top and pajama pants. She stopped reading and looked up at me.

Then she smiled.

That smile was all that I needed in life. That and having her right there in my bed. Nothing was as perfect as this.

“I’m sorry,” I said, needing to say it. My guilt and regret over leaving her was eating at me.

She shrugged. “It’s OK. She needed you.”

But so did Reese. I never wanted to choose someone else’s needs over Reese’s. “I should have been here with you. I should have cooked you dinner and listened to you talk about your day. And I should be in that bed listening to you read to me.”

Reese put her book down in her lap. “I would have liked that.”

Those honest words sliced through me. That ride with Aida did nothing but let me say how I felt. I’d wasted my time. And I’d let Reese down.

“I have to get up early. I’d like to stay up with you while you eat and shower, but Piper needs me at the office at eight tomorrow morning. She signed on for some earlier lessons, so I need some sleep.”

Although she said everything with a smile, there was a sadness in her eyes that made me feel helpless. Then she lay down and rolled over, ending our conversation.

I had screwed up.

Reese

When my alarm went off at six thirty, I rolled over and stretched. Last night’s events, and the sadness I’d gone to bed with, came back to me. Mase had gone to Aida and stayed gone for hours. I had waited to eat with him for more than an hour, until I was too hungry to wait. Once I’d eaten and cleaned up, I took a shower, and he still wasn’t home.

By the time I’d gotten my book and started reading, I realized this was a pattern. When Aida needed him, he went to her. It concerned me. She wasn’t his blood relative, but he had never told me that. Someone else had.

I shook my head, threw back the covers, and got out of bed. I had to focus on work today. Not Mase. Not Aida. That was a situation I needed to find my way through. I hoped going to sleep on him when he got home last night sent the right message. He had upset me. I wanted him to know that. I didn’t want to take a backseat to his cousin forever.

He was my first concern. Shouldn’t I be his?

I went to brush my teeth and get dressed. Today was about proving my worth at my job, not sulking because Mase had let me down last night.

When I stepped out of the bedroom, my eyes fell on Mase standing at the stove. His back was to me, but he was definitely cooking. I walked toward the kitchen through the living room, hoping to see what he was doing.

Mase turned just as I got into the kitchen and gave me that smile that made my heart flutter. “Morning, beautiful. Breakfast is almost done.”

Breakfast? We normally ate cereal or something his mom, Maryann, brought us. And wasn’t Mase supposed to be down at the stables working?

“Have a seat, and I’ll get your orange juice,” he said, wiping his hands on the dishtowel stuck in the front of his jeans.

I didn’t move. I was still trying to figure out what was going on.

He paused when he saw me still standing there. “You good?” he asked, looking concerned.

I managed a nod and moved to the table while he poured me a glass of orange juice.

“Coffee is brewing. I’ll get you some in a few.”

“What are you doing?” I blurted out.

He slid what looked like an omelet from a pan to a plate, then turned to me and held it up. “Fixing you breakfast. I didn’t get to make you dinner after your first day of work. So I thought I’d fix you breakfast before your second day. Not the same, but I didn’t sleep much last night. I watched you sleep and beat myself up over letting you down.” He walked over to me with a serious expression on his face. When he set the plate down in front of me, he bent over and looked into my eyes. “I never want to be the one to let you down, and I did that last night. I won’t do it again. You’re the most important part of my life.”

My heart went into a silly beat of giddiness. I had been upset with him, but this made all that melt away. This was Mase. The man I trusted and loved. I returned his smile. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He leaned in and kissed me sweetly. “Don’t thank me. I don’t deserve it,” he said against my mouth. “Be mad at me. Throw things at me. Hell, baby, slap me. But don’t thank me. That kills me.”

I reached up and cupped his face. I adored that face. “How about I love you, then?” I said with a smile.

He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. “That always sounds good.”

I moved my hand and looked down at the plate in front of me. The omelet he’d made looked delicious and full of cheese, but it was also big enough for three people. “Go get another plate and eat with me. This is massive.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

During our breakfast, I told him everything I had wanted to tell him last night. He told me about his day, although I felt like he was leaving something out. It was in his eyes. And he never told me what Aida had come over for.

That bothered me.

The morning had gone by quickly. Piper was busy with one lesson after another, and I had to go out and help her do some cleaning and brush down the horses. She’d explained how to do it and showed me once yesterday, and I had picked it up quickly. I was feeling very accomplished by the time lunchtime rolled around.

I hadn’t packed a big lunch today, and I was starving. My turkey sandwich and apple would not be enough. I wanted a big, thick hamburger and a large order of fries. Not that my butt needed it, but I sure wanted it. Maybe even some chocolate chip cookies. I would have to use my imagination and eat the sandwich I’d brought and pretend it was something yummier.

“You have something to eat?” Piper asked, sticking her head through the doorway.

Not what I wanted. “Yes,” I replied.

“Good. Take your lunch break. I’m headed up to the house to meet Arthur for lunch. See you later this afternoon.”

I nodded, and she closed the door behind her. Sighing, I pulled out my paper bag and set it on my desk. Tomorrow I would prepare a huge lunch. Something delicious. Something wonderful.

The door opened again, and I looked up, expecting to see Piper again, but it wasn’t my boss. It was someone else. Someone I did not want to see.

“Piper just left for lunch,” I said, sounding more annoyed than necessary.

Captain grinned, and I noticed his dimple again. Were guys supposed to have dimples like that? It was a deep one.

“Brought lunch,” he said, holding up a large paper bag. Much bigger than mine.

“I didn’t ask for lunch,” I snapped.

My attitude didn’t deter him. He walked into the office and closed the door behind him. “No, you didn’t, but I was getting mine, and I thought what the hell. Do something nice for someone today, Captain.” He set the bag on my desk. The smell of something mouthwatering hit my nose. Much better than my sandwich. “So when I ordered the best damn burger in Texas, I decided to get two and bring one to you. Day two on the job, figured you needed a treat.”

He had brought me a burger. Was he kidding me? Did this man read minds?

When he placed the large box in front of me, I was pretty sure I was drooling. It smelled amazing. He was just being nice. Who was I to turn down a lunch that I had just been dreaming about?

“I was expecting more snarky comments. Possibly a threat to throw the damn burger right in my face. That kind of thing,” Captain said, sounding smug.

I should have done all those things, but I wanted the food. The idea of eating my turkey sandwich now was just sad.

“To sweeten the deal, I got you a slice of strawberry cake,” he added. Not chocolate chip cookies, but that was a good substitute. He opened my box as if I couldn’t do it.

“You win. I’m starving.”

He laughed then. A real laugh. Not one that was all-knowing or assholish. I liked his laugh. It wasn’t bad. Not nearly as annoying as he was in general.

“Well, thank you. This means my good deed for the day is complete and I can go about my business being a bastard.”

This time, I laughed.

When he pulled up a chair and started opening up his food, I realized he was staying. I wasn’t sure about that. It seemed a little too familiar. We weren’t friends. We weren’t anything.

“Just eat, Reese. I’m not going to come across the table and grab you. I’m just eating before my food gets cold.”

Right. OK.

I watched as he picked up his burger and took a bite. It looked so good. I pushed my concerns aside and did the same.

We ate in silence, and I decided this was OK. Not weird at all. And the burger was the best thing I’d put in my mouth. The fries were also fulfilling my fantasies. When I had almost finished, he spoke again.

“You hang out at home alone last night? Since your man was off getting coffee with his cousin?”

He’d gone to get coffee with her? I had thought she was crying. They’d stayed out late having coffee? “She was upset. He was trying to comfort her,” I said, pushing the food away. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Not even the temptation of the strawberry cake appealed to me.

“Uhhh, she didn’t seem upset when I saw them. I even saw him laugh. Shame he left you at home at night. It was your first day at work. He should have been there with you.”

“Stop it,” I said, standing up and putting distance between us. I didn’t want to listen to him voice my own fears. It was enough for me to hear them in my head.

He closed his box and leaned back in his chair to look at me. “You don’t deal well with the truth, do you?”

“I’m fine with the truth,” I replied, my voice rising. He was getting to me. He was making me angry again. He was good at that.

“Then why does me telling you what I saw and how I think it was wrong upset you? I’m just speaking the truth. Any man who has you at home should keep his ass right there with you.”

No, no, no. I was not listening to this. He was saying these things to make me doubt Mase. I would not doubt Mase. I’d done that once and almost ruined everything. “He felt bad for leaving me. He apologized over and over and even made me breakfast this morning. Mase is a good man. He loves me. Stop trying to make me doubt him.”

Captain stood up and kept his heated gaze on me. He wasn’t smirking now or looking like he was about to say something else snarky. It was the first real expression I’d seen on him. “I’m not trying to upset you. I’m trying to show you that not all men are what they seem to be. No one is, sweetheart. I’ve seen it too many times. And the first time I looked into your eyes, I saw a pain I understood. Before you opened your mouth and enchanted my hard, bitter soul, I wanted to protect you. I can’t help that.”

I didn’t have words. He had to go. This was not an innocent lunch. “Leave, please,” I said, pointing at the door.

He didn’t argue. He simply nodded his head, turned, and walked out.

I stood there staring at that closed door for several minutes. He was dangerous. I couldn’t let him get near me again. I didn’t want his honesty. I didn’t want his truths. I just wanted Mase.

Mase

Something was bothering Reese. From the time I’d picked her up this afternoon, she had seemed off. Her smile didn’t meet her eyes. She also seemed clingy. Not that I was complaining. But she didn’t let me get far from her. We had showered together and had sex on the bathroom counter before moving to the sofa and curling up together.

She was currently sitting in my lap with her arm around my shoulders and her head on my chest. The guilt about last night was still digging at me. Was that why she was acting so differently? She was worried I’d leave her again? Did she think she had to hold on to me? I fucking loved it when she clung to me, but I didn’t want her doing it because she felt like she had to.

I wanted her to know I was always hers. No need to cling to me. I wasn’t going anywhere. I trailed my fingertips over her bare thighs, thinking about all we’d been through and how far she’d come.

She had grown so much, and I would never forgive myself if my stupid actions took that away from her. She was mine, but I was just as much hers. No one else would have me this way.

“I love you,” I whispered into her hair.

“I love you, too,” she replied, and traced a heart on my chest with her finger.

“I won’t leave you again,” I told her. I needed her to believe me.

She didn’t reply. Instead, she continued tracing that heart on my chest over and over.

“You own me, Reese. Know that, baby. Know that I’m yours.”

She stopped tracing on my chest and tilted her face up to look at me. “What if, one day, you’re not mine anymore and you can’t help it?”

What did she mean by that? “I can swear to you that you will always be it for me. No one fits me like you. No one makes me feel whole. No one else ever will.”

She smiled and pressed a kiss to my chest. “I want to believe that.”

Well, fuck me. I wanted her to believe that, too. I thought she did. Had my one stupid mess-up last night made her doubt that? Doubt me?

I cupped her face and held her so that she was looking directly into my eyes. “Do you see me? This man in front of you will love you until the day he dies. You’re my one, Reese. My one.”

She relaxed in my arms and leaned into me. “OK.”

OK? Ha! That was all she was going to say? OK?

“Does that ‘OK’ mean you believe me?”

She nodded. “I believe you. I always believe you.”

Pulling her tight against my chest, I held on to her. This was my home. She was where my home would always be. It was time I took the next step and proved to her that I was all in. Forever.

Reese was talking to her father on the phone this morning. She didn’t have to go to work until nine, so she had called her dad to catch him up on things. Checking in with family wasn’t something Reese was used to doing. I expected him to want her to come visit again soon, and I needed to prepare the ranch for my absence. She wasn’t going without me again.

“Yes, I love it there. Piper, my boss, is really great. And I learned to brush down the horses,” she said, chatting away happily.

Just hearing her made me smile. I hadn’t been sure how I felt about him walking into her life like he had at first. I’d been afraid he was out for something. But he hadn’t been. He’d honestly wanted to know his daughter. Reese had needed that more than I even realized. The horror from her past seemed to be fading away for her, though I knew it would always be a part of her in some way. She just wasn’t letting it define her life. She didn’t use her mother and her stepfather as excuses not to achieve more. Reese believed in herself.

After I dropped Reese off at work, I went to Momma’s. I hadn’t talked to her since the Aida thing. I knew Aida’s truck was gone, but I didn’t ask about it. Seeing her gone was more of a relief.

Major’s truck was still there, though. He’d been gone all day yesterday, but apparently, he hadn’t left town. I parked my truck and headed inside.

Major was drinking a cup of coffee and eating again. “What do you think this is? A bed-and-breakfast?” I grumbled, walking inside to go kiss my momma and get myself a cup of coffee.

“Don’t be hating. There’s plenty for you, too,” he said with a mouth full of food.

“Good morning, son,” Momma said.

“Morning, Momma.”

“Reese at work?” she asked.

I nodded and took a sip of the hot liquid.

“Did you tell her your cousin has the hots for you?” Major asked.

If we hadn’t been in Momma’s kitchen, I’d have put my fist in his face.

“Major,” Momma warned.

He held up both hands. “Just asking.”

“Aida went back to her parents’ house. She took off from college this semester, and they’re going to force her to make it up this summer. Her daddy is not happy that she took off to come here,” Momma explained. “But she’s young, and she’ll learn. Let’s just put this behind us.”

“So you didn’t tell Reese, did you?” Major asked, grinning.

I glared at him over my coffee cup.

“I wouldn’t have told her, either. It’s creepy, if you really think about it.”

“Would you shut up?” I growled.

He stood up with his empty plate and headed to the sink. “Sure. I’ll shut up. I got a job to get to.”

“Job?” I asked, surprised.

“Yep. I’m working on building the addition to Stouts and Hawkins. His new guy overseeing the project, River Kipling, hired me. If this one is as successful as the one in Key West, then Arthur is sending him to Rosemary Beach to build another, and I’ll be going, too. Find me one of those hotties I’ve heard so much about.”

The idea of River Kipling moving to Florida, far away from Dallas, was very appealing.