Текст книги "When You're Back"

Автор книги: Abbi Glines

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Reese

I glanced down at my phone to see the image of Mase’s boots on the screen. I couldn’t answer. Not yet. Not now.

Piper hadn’t asked any questions when I’d walked out of the doctor’s office. She’d let me sit in silence. I owed her an explanation, though. She had set up an appointment for me with her doctor and got me in fast. No questions asked. Then she had taken me during work hours.

I hit the Silent button, put the phone back on my lap, and stared out at the road.

“Sweetie, that man loves you. He worships the ground you walk on. Don’t be afraid to tell him. He’ll be thrilled,” she said softly as she reached over and patted my leg.

Piper wasn’t stupid. She had guessed why I needed to see the doctor and what the outcome was without my saying a word. I guessed it was kind of obvious. I turned to look at her. “He hasn’t even asked me to marry him. All I’ve done is add more stress to his life. How do I tell him this?”

Piper frowned. “From where I’m sitting, Mase Colt goes out of his way to make you happy. He’s so afraid of losing you he can’t hold on tight enough. This isn’t going to be bad news for him. Trust me.”

She didn’t know everything. She didn’t know all the baggage that came along with me. Mase loved me, I knew that, but he wasn’t ready for more. He wanted us to live together and enjoy the now. He wasn’t planning the future. But here I was, with our future inside me. “I need time to adjust to this myself. I’ll tell him. I’m just not ready,” I explained.

Piper sighed. “It’s your decision, but he’s gonna want to know.”

He would. I knew he would want to know. But would he be happy? Or would I just add more baggage on top of everything else? I didn’t want this baby to be any less than adored. I wanted him or her to have the life I didn’t get. I wanted to give my child the life that Mase was given.

“Don’t wait too long. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell him,” Piper said.

I nodded. She was right. I’d have to tell him soon. But first, I needed to know that I had somewhere to go if he wasn’t ready. I didn’t have just me to worry about anymore. I had another life I was responsible for.

It was time we went to visit my dad.

Mase had called again when I got back to work. I had answered the phone that time, because if I kept ignoring his calls, he’d show up at the barn. I didn’t doubt that for a minute. I had told him lunch was great and I missed him. He’d seemed pleased with that, and we’d ended the call.

Sitting in his truck after work was different. There was this huge secret between us, and I felt guilty for not telling him. He had kissed me and held me against him when he’d gotten to Piper’s. I always felt so safe when he held me.

The guilt was like a lead weight in my stomach. I was afraid I could lose here.

“In case she’s still there when we get back to the ranch, I have to warn you that Aida’s visiting. She was at Momma’s during lunch today,” he said, glancing over at me while he was driving.

I was not in the mood for Aida. Not the best timing. “OK. Did she say why she was visiting?” I asked, trying to sound like this news didn’t upset me.

He shrugged. “I think she was bored. No real reason.”

“Oh,” was my only response.

It was time to visit my dad anyway. If Aida was there, it wouldn’t matter. It just pushed my decision. “Can we visit my father now? I think I’m ready.”

Mase’s arm rested around my back, and his fingers played in my hair. “I’ll book the flight tonight. You want to call him so he knows to expect us?”

I nodded.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Whatever you want, baby. All you have to do is ask.”

This time, when he called me baby, my hand went to my stomach. How was I going to tell him?

“Momma sent leftovers up to the house. We can eat and handle the travel arrangements. How soon you ready to leave?”

“Day after next. I need to tell Piper first and get some things finished up in the office.”

“Sounds good. That gives me time to get things squared away, too.”

When we pulled up into the driveway, Aida’s truck was parked outside, and Aida was sitting on the porch steps. Avoiding her wasn’t an option. I had no choice now.

Mase squeezed my shoulders. “Sorry about this.”

Before I could step down out of the truck, Mase was there taking my hand. I let him help me down and pull me close to him as we walked toward the house. Aida stood up as we approached. Her eyes looked red from crying, and her bottom lip trembled.

“I wanted to apologize to both of you,” she said, then sniffled. “I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble. I came back to tell you I was sorry.” She looked directly at Mase. “I miss you. I miss our friendship. I want my cousin back.”

Mase’s body seemed to relax beside me. “I never left, Aida. But you changed things. You couldn’t accept Reese, and she’s a part of me.”

Aida nodded and let a single tear roll down her perfect face. “I know. I was jealous. I’d never had to share you before. I’m sorry.” She glanced at me. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to break down like I did.”

“If you can accept Reese and understand that she’s my life now, then we can go back to being friends. You’ve been my little cousin for most of my life. I care about you. I want you to be happy. I just won’t allow you to hurt Reese. Ever.”

Aida looked as if she were pouting. But then, she had such full lips sometimes it was hard to tell. “I won’t. I promise. I want you to be happy, too.”

“Then let’s forget the past and start over,” Mase said.

Aida beamed up at him. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

I wanted to believe her. But something in my gut was telling me this wasn’t sincere.

Mase

Something was bothering Reese. I couldn’t figure out what, and if I tried to talk to her about it, she went silent. It was almost a relief to arrive in Chicago. My hope was that she needed to see her new family, that she was anxious to see them again though nervous about talking to Benedetto about her past. I just needed to know that was what was making her act so jumpy.

I was used to her telling me things and opening up to me. This was different. It was like she’d put up a wall and refused to let me in. It scared the hell out of me. If this was because Aida was staying with my parents for a couple of weeks, then I’d send Aida home. I just needed Reese to tell me what was wrong. I felt so damn helpless.

Benedetto met us at baggage claim, and surprisingly, Reese headed straight into his arms for a hug. I had expected her to be standoffish until she had a chance to speak to him about everything that was bothering her.

“I missed you,” he said with a look of joy in his eyes as he held her.

“I missed you, too,” she replied as she pulled back. “Thanks for having us on such short notice.

Benedetto frowned. “Never apologize for coming to see me. My house is yours. Always, passerotta.”

Reese’s grandmother also referred to her as passerotta, which she had informed me was a term of endearment that meant “little sparrow.”

“Nonna is very anxious for me to get you home,” he added, picking up her suitcase and looking over at me. “It is good to see you again, Mase.”

“Likewise, sir,” I replied. I picked up my suitcase and placed my hand on Reese’s back.

“I’m glad you’re here. Last time, when you left, Reese’s thoughts went with you. She had a hard time.”

“I had a hard time leaving her here,” I replied.

Benedetto seemed pleased with that answer and turned to lead us out to the waiting silver Escalade that his personal driver had pulled up to the curb.

“You both sit together in the back. I’ll sit up here with Hernaldo,” Benedetto instructed. “Raul wanted to come pick you up, but his afternoon classes kept him from it. He’s very anxious to see you both again.”

Reese strongly resembled her brother Raul. It was strange looking into his eyes and seeing some of Reese there. Her brother hadn’t been bitter that he was no longer an only child but had embraced having an older sister and seemed genuinely happy to spend time with Reese.

“I look forward to seeing him,” Reese said, and I knew she meant it. No matter what pain she still harbored for her father, she adored her brother.

“Nonna will want all of your attention first, of course. She’s already ordered high tea for your arrival. I expect she’ll be in her Sunday best,” he told Reese with a wink.

Reese laughed and looked up at me. I wished she’d grown up with this life, with this loving, warm, safe family supporting her. But at least she had it now. That was something to be thankful for.

“I spoke with Nonna last week,” Reese told him. “She was asking when I’d be back for a visit.”

Benedetto nodded. “Oh, yes, she’s been on pins and needles since your call the other day letting us know you were coming.”

Once we were all settled into the SUV, the small talk continued. Reese sat close to me, letting me hold her hand in mine. Maybe this was all that had been bothering her. I hoped it was over now and I’d be able to get past that wall she’d put up.

It wasn’t long before we pulled up to the iron gates of the DeCarlo estate. The first time I’d visited, I’d had to fight off feeling furious that Reese had been struggling to survive while the man who had given her life lived in total luxury. However, the pure joy on the man’s face as he got to know Reese slowly dissolved my bitterness. I believed that he hadn’t known where to find her. Whatever had kept him away was no longer important. He was in her life now.

Nonna opened the front door wide, and she was beaming as she called Reese’s name.

“I’ll help your dad. You go visit your nonna,” I told her, then pressed a kiss to her lips before she turned and hurried up toward her grandmother.

“She’s good for Nonna,” Benedetto said behind me.

“Nonna is good for Reese, too,” I told him.

He nodded, and a look of concern crossed his face. “I wish she’d always had this family. I wish a lot of things, but I did what I thought was best.”

He’d been wrong. What he’d thought was best had been a nightmare. “Reese’s past is hers to share with you. But I’ll tell you, anything would have been better than the life she survived.”

Benedetto tensed, and pain slashed across his face. Did he know more than he was letting on? How could he know? “I’ve made many mistakes in this life,” he said, watching as Nonna took Reese into the house before turning back to me. “But that mistake is one I can never forgive myself for. I’ll go to my grave with that part of my soul destroyed.”

He knew. He had to know.

“Let’s go inside. Hernaldo will make sure the luggage gets to the correct rooms.” Benedetto gestured for me to walk with him.

We walked in silence, and I replayed his words over and over in my head. How could he know what Reese had suffered? Who would have told him? She’d come here to tell him and unburden herself of things left unsaid. If he knew already, why didn’t he let her know?

“Knowing my daughter is with a man who can and will protect her with his life is comforting to me. She loves you, and I can see that you love her. But I want you to understand that if there is ever a time when you stop loving her or you can’t protect her anymore, you must bring her to me. Do you understand?”

I was never leaving or giving up Reese. Not for any reason. “I understand. But that day will never come. Reese is my life. She’s my future.”

Benedetto nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”

Reese

Nonna had kept me with her all afternoon, until Raul had returned home and insisted it was his turn to hang out with me. I enjoyed my time with them, and it pushed the conversation I needed to have with my father to the back of my mind. Benedetto was still a stranger to me in so many ways. He felt powerful yet loving. I knew he was glad to have found me, but I didn’t know him the way I felt I was getting to know Nonna and Raul.

Telling him about the baby scared me. He seemed to be a very traditional man. Even though I knew he’d had sex with my mother as a fling and left me behind, he expected more from his family. How would he feel about me being pregnant and not even engaged? Would that disappoint him?

I had planned to come see him to tell him how the past had marked me. How it was hard to forgive him for leaving me with my mother. But now that didn’t seem as important. I had a baby to think of. A child I would never allow to experience the horror I had lived through. I wanted this baby protected and loved. If Mase wasn’t ready for this, I had to know that someone wanted us. That someone would take care of us.

Once dinner was over, I turned to my father. “I’d like to speak with you,” I said softly while the others still talked among themselves. Raul was telling Mase about a game of basketball he’d played last week.

Benedetto gave me a warm smile. “Of course. Let’s go to my library.”

He began to stand, and I glanced around as I did, too. Everyone was going to know we were leaving to speak alone. I didn’t mean to draw attention to the matter. Especially around Mase, who would think I was going to talk to my father about something entirely different.

“I’m stealing my daughter away so I can have some time with her. This bunch demands all her attention, but I’d like some, too. Please, enjoy a cocktail in the drawing room while we have a private moment,” Benedetto said, holding out his arm for me to take.

“You stingy old goat,” Nonna complained, but I could see the pleased look in her eyes.

I looked down at Mase and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want him following us. This had to be done alone.

“If he bores you too much, remember, you can always escape by saying you aren’t feeling well. Works like a charm,” Raul called out as we left the table and headed down the hallway to the library.

“The boy thinks I believe him when he uses that excuse, too. I just know if he says he isn’t feeling well, he’s already checked out on me and isn’t listening to a word I’m saying. What’s the use in keeping him?”

I laughed. Hearing the two of them carry on with each other like this gave me hope that I could be a good parent. That I had it in my blood to be the mother my baby deserved. That one day, twenty years from now, we would be joking with each other and cherishing shared memories.

Benedetto opened the library door, and I walked inside. The smell of leather and books engulfed me, and I wanted to inhale deeply. Once books had terrified me. I hadn’t wanted to be near them for fear I’d be asked to read. Now I wanted to open every book and discover the treasures inside.

“Have a seat, and I’ll fix us a drink. Would you like a martini?”

I shook my head. “A club soda will do.”

Benedetto studied me. Instead of walking over to the bar behind two large oak doors, he stood across from me. “No drink?” he asked, watching me.

“No,” I replied.

He let out a sigh, and then a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Passerotta, you are to make me a grandfather.” He didn’t seem disappointed. He seemed . . . hopeful.

I nodded, waiting for more of a reaction.

He clapped his hands and let out a shout of laughter. “This is news to celebrate. Why did you not tell us as soon as you arrived? We could have had a celebration dessert prepared. Nonna will be tickled pink.”

“Mase doesn’t know yet,” I said, causing Benedetto’s smile to fade.

“He doesn’t know? But why haven’t you told him?”

Because . . . what if he left me? What if he wasn’t ready? “It wasn’t planned. He hasn’t even proposed. He’s not ready for this,” I said, my fears tumbling from my heart and out of my mouth.

“That man loves you, Reese. He adores you. He would take on an army for you. Why would you think he won’t rejoice over the news that you’re carrying his child?”

I sank onto the leather sofa behind me. “He says I am his future, but he never discusses it, really. A child isn’t in his plans. I’m going to tell him, but if he isn’t ready, I . . . I won’t be able to stay with him.”

Benedetto walked over and sat down across from me. “If he isn’t ready, you will come to me. Nonna, Raul, and I would make sure you and your baby want for nothing. But that won’t be the case. You will make that man the happiest on the planet when you tell him. He wants you forever, passerotta. This will be his insurance that he has you. He fears losing you even more than you fear losing him. I can see it in his eyes.”

I wanted him to be right. I wanted Mase and me to share the joy and excitement of the life we had created. If only I knew he’d feel the same way.

“Tell me you will tell him soon. Trust me. Trust him. Give him this chance to prove he loves you and that he wants this.”

“What if he feels pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do? Like asking me to marry him? If he’d wanted to do that, he would have by now, wouldn’t he? He was raised by a mother who taught him right from wrong; I don’t want him proposing to me because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.”

Benedetto nodded his head. “That is understandable. Men sometimes have the worst timing in the world when it comes to proposals. However, you don’t have to accept his proposal if you don’t think he means it. Let him wait. When you’re sure he loves you and wants you as his wife for no reason other than he can’t live without you, then you can say yes. But not until then.”

I could do that. Just because he felt he had to propose didn’t mean I had to feel that I had to say yes. We didn’t have to be married, anyway. There wasn’t a rule book that said we had to be married to be parents.

“OK. I’ll tell him. And if he proposes, I’ll say no. For now.”

Benedetto smiled and patted my hand. “Watching you drive this boy crazy will be an endless source of entertainment for me. I hate that I will miss so much when you’re back in Texas.”

“Thank you,” I said.

His expression turned serious, and I saw something in his eyes that made my heart ache. He seemed to be in pain. “I haven’t been the father you deserved. I failed you. I’ll never forgive myself for failing you. But know that I will use the rest of my time on earth to make sure I never fail you again. I can’t change your past, passerotta. If I could, I would take it all away. But I can’t. I can only do what is in my power. And I will use every ounce of that power to ensure that your life is full of sunlight and joy from here on out.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and I tried not to blink so they wouldn’t roll down my face. I didn’t have to tell him about my past. Looking into his eyes, I felt he already knew. I wasn’t sure what he knew, but he knew something. And it was enough.

Mase

It was late when Reese finally made it to the bedroom. I had struggled with the desire to check on her several times, but she had been with her father, and they needed that time together. This was her chance to heal from the anger and pain she carried toward him.

I was sitting on the end of the bed when the door opened and she walked in. Seeing the smile on her face helped ease my mind, and I jumped up and rushed over to her to make sure she was OK. “Hey,” I said, wrapping her in my arms and inhaling her sweet scent.

“Hey,” she replied. “Sorry I’m so late. We ended up talking a lot longer than I expected.”

“About the past?” I asked, pulling back to look at her.

“Yes and no. We also talked about happy things. His childhood and how he met my mother. Things like that. Things I never knew or understood.”

“Did it help?” I wanted it to help. It would never erase her past, but I wanted her to be able to close the door on it.

“Yes. It helped a lot.” She paused, and I waited. “But that wasn’t why I wanted to talk to him. I came here for another reason.”

The touch of uncertainty and fear in her voice didn’t sit well with me. The walls she had built were about to come down, and I was scared to find out why she had built them to begin with. What did she need to talk to her father about that she couldn’t entrust to me?

“Mase, I . . . see, um, I . . .” She stopped and let out a frustrated sigh as she struggled to put words together. I watched her close her eyes tightly and inhale deeply. This wasn’t easy for her, and that terrified me. What could she possibly need to tell me that was this hard?

“Reese? Baby, whatever you have to say, I can take. I’m here. Just tell me.”

She nodded and opened her eyes to look at me again. “OK. I want you to know that this wasn’t planned, and this is not a trap. I’d never do that. I do not expect a thing. I just . . . I just need you to believe me when I say that. I don’t want you to ever think this was on purpose.”

She was rambling, and I was getting more nervous by the second.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, and her eyes went wide, as if she couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud.

That was what she was so scared to tell me? She was going to have my baby? I stared at her in awe and let my gaze fall to her flat stomach. We had created a life, and it was inside her. She was carrying it. Our baby.

“I swear, I don’t expect a thing. If you aren’t ready for this, Benedetto said I can stay here with him. So don’t think you have to—”

“Wait, what?” I snapped my gaze back up to meet hers. “Stay with him? Why would you stay with him? We have a home. Our home. Our baby’s home. You’ll stay with me. Both of you.”

Her shoulders slumped with a sigh, and I wanted it to be one of relief. Why she thought she had to prepare for me to kick her out I had no idea. Didn’t she understand that when I said she was my future, I fucking meant she was my future?

“There’s no pressure. It happened, and it’s my fault. I forgot to take a pill that day that . . . Marco came. I took two the next day when I realized it, but apparently, that didn’t work. I don’t want you to think you have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

This woman was having my baby, and I worshipped the ground she walked on. How in God’s name did she think I’d feel pressured to do anything when it came to her? I loved doing things for her. “Reese, baby, I love you. I don’t say those words easily. When I tell you that I love you and you’re my world, I mean it. They aren’t words that I just throw around. You’ve given me your heart, and I thought you’d given me your trust, too. Apparently, I don’t have all of you yet, and that’s my fault. I failed somehow. I haven’t made sure you know just how important you are to me. You’re having my baby, Reese. The woman I love is carrying my baby inside of her. Do you know how fucking thrilled I am right now? You are mine.” I walked over and put my hand on her stomach. “This is mine. And I’m not ever letting go of either of you.”

Reese laid her head on my chest and let out a small sob. I cradled her against me. She was so scared of people turning on her, but she expected it. From everyone. Except Benedetto. She’d trusted him. She had told him. How did he get the trust that I didn’t have? What did he do right that I had done wrong?

When I picked up the ring I had found last week and was having resized, I would prove to her that she had me. Hell, she’d had me the morning she sang off key and shook her ass in my face. I hadn’t realized it then, but she’d had me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. It was just a surprise to me, and I wasn’t sure how you would react. I didn’t want to force anything on you.”

I cupped her face in my hands. “In this life, you will always be my number one priority. Your happiness is my goal. Never doubt me again. Promise me that,” I said, needing to know that next time, she’d come to me. Not her father.

She nodded. “OK. I promise.”

I kissed her lips gently. I wanted to get her naked and inspect every inch of her body to see if it had changed. Were her hips wider and I hadn’t noticed? Did her stomach show any signs? Were her breasts tender?

“I need you to do something for me,” I told her, reluctantly letting go of her mouth.

“What?” she asked breathlessly.

“Get naked. Let me explore and see if I can find any changes,” I said with a grin I couldn’t wipe off my face.

She blushed. “Are you serious?”

I nodded. “Very.”

I could see the arousal in her eyes as she watched me. She liked the idea of me touching her everywhere. Paying extra attention to areas she loved me to kiss.

“I’ll give those sensitive nipples special attention,” I promised as I slid my hands to the waistline of her skirt.

“Oh?” she asked, leaning into me.

“Mm-hmm. Any other tender place that needs my expertise?” I asked, cupping her ass in my hands.

“Ahhh . . . yes.” She arched into me.

“Then let’s get you undressed and find out just where I need to kiss. This could take hours.”

Reese lifted her hands into the air and gazed up at me. All that trust in her eyes made me want to beat my chest and roar. This was my woman. I’d never let her down.