Текст книги "The Rocker Who Betrays Me"

Автор книги: Terri Browning

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

C HAPTER T WENTY

Zander

It seemed easy enough to please Mieke as we spent the day out exploring L.A. I showed her all the sights that had entranced me from the first day I’d stepped off that tour bus seventeen years before. She listened intently as I talked about why certain places meant so much to me. Mostly they were places that spoke to me the most when I was writing a song.

For Demon’s Wings, they relied on Nik to do most of the song writing for them. He had a real talent for writing music and had sold his songs to other artists over the years. Hell, we’d even bought a few of them. More often than not, however, my band and I took turns writing our own songs. The majority came from me, but each of us had written at least a few over the years.

Mieke ate up everything I told her and found a few places she loved along the way. By dinnertime I could tell she was getting tired, though. The emotional events of the night before added to the excitement of that day were catching up with us both, but I was reluctant to end our time together. I knew what was coming, knew that when I got back to my apartment, Annabelle wouldn’t be there. That thought alone made me not want to go home.

We still had dinner to get through, though. I had mixed feelings about that. I’d asked Natalie to get the guys together for a meal somewhere low key so I could break the news to them all myself. Since Wroth and Marissa were getting ready to go back to Tennessee, I knew I had to do it now or I’d have to wait. I was excited to get to introduce my daughter to them, but anxious about their reactions to the news. Honestly, I wanted them to jump on me and kick my ass. I wanted them to be pissed at me and give me the beating that I deserved for missing out on so much of my kid’s life. Not to mention how much I’d put Annabelle through over the years.

Traffic was hell and Mieke and I arrived at the restaurant in West Hollywood fifteen minutes late. I turned my car over to the valet and put my hand at the small of Mieke’s tiny waist as I guided her into the little Italian restaurant. The hostess was busy, but I didn’t need her assistance to get us to the table Natalie had reserved for our group. I could see Wroth’s wide shoulders and Devlin’s dark head from the entrance and steered my daughter in their direction.

We had a back table well away from most of the other diners. Axton, Liam, and Devlin spotted me at the same time and grinned at me like the idiots they were until they saw the girl at my side. Natalie must have already told Dev about Mieke because he shot me a supportive grin. Wroth, Axton and Liam shot me killer glares and I quickly lifted my hands.

“She’s not jailbait,” I rushed to assure them. For fuck’s sake, why would they think that right off the bat? I was the least likely out of all five of us to go after the younger chicks. I rarely whored around like these fuckers had in the past. Now that they were all in stable relationships, they were ready to start judging me? Fuck that shit.

“Bullshit,” Wroth growled in his scary-ass voice. “How old are you, girl?”

Mieke didn’t back away from the giant who looked like he could swallow her whole in one bite. “Sixteen, sir.” She was polite, but her voice was cool, as if she were sizing the beast up and wasn’t sure if she liked what she saw. Yet.

“Motherfucker,” Liam grunted. “What the hell are you doing, Z?”

Didn’t they see the resemblance? It had taken me two seconds after seeing Annabelle to realize that Mieke was mine. I opened my mouth, ready to explain everything, but suddenly my throat was too tight to get out so much as a squeak. It was time to admit to them just how much I’d fucked up, but no words could squeeze through my tight throat. Glancing down at Mieke, I grimaced and hugged her to my side, loving her so damn much that my heart squeezed just getting to hold her like that. I held on to her for a long moment before turning back to my bandmates.

“This is Mieke,” I rasped out. “Mieke is my daughter. Mine…and Annabelle’s.”

Three out of four mouths dropped open at the same time as three pairs of eyes widened and looked at my daughter with a new appreciation. I looked down at Mieke, trying to determine her reaction to all these rockers looking at her like she was an alien with three heads. She was smiling a little shyly and there was a little pink in her cheeks, but her green and gold eyes were bright with excitement. I hugged her closer and brushed a kiss over the top of her head.

“Annabelle didn’t tell you about your own kid for sixteen years?” Axton was the first to speak and there was pure contempt in his voice. My spine went straight as I glared down at the man, but before I could even open my mouth to defend Annabelle, he continued. “How could she do that to you, man? That’s so fucked up.”

“Yeah, why would she keep something that important from you?” Wroth demanded. “Fuck, man. I’ve been in Tennessee more often than not over the years. All she had to do was tell me and I would have told you.”

I was so pissed I couldn’t find my voice for a second. How could these fuckers talk about Annabelle like that? Didn’t they remember her at all? That they were talking about her like that—and in front of my kid—had rage bubbling in my veins.

“I can’t believe this,” Liam muttered. “How could she do this? That bitch.”

I felt Mieke stiffen against me, her anger as strong as my own. Out of all the reactions I’d imagined getting from these four men, this was not one of them. I never in my wildest dreams would have figured they would put the blame on Annabelle’s shoulders. This wasn’t her fault. She’d tried to contact me repeatedly and I’d turned my back on her every damn time.

“Don’t call my mom that,” Mieke snapped at Liam, turning the full force of her glare on the bassist. “You know nothing about her or what she’s been through over the years. How dare you point the finger at her and make her out to be some wicked witch.” She pulled away from me, her gaze full of all the contempt that had been filling three out of the four men’s eyes. “And even if she were, you of all people don’t have any room to judge. How many rehabs have you been in, Mr. High and Mighty Rock Star? How close have you come to killing yourself over the years, chasing after the next big high? Oh yeah, I know all about you. All of you. So tell me, Liam Bryant, which is the bigger evil of the two of you? Huh?”

Liam’s blue eyes darkened, but his mouth snapped shut and he lowered his gaze to the table, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth together.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Mieke turned her gaze to Axton next. “You don’t know my mother, you never did. So don’t pretend that you do.” She looked at Wroth next, now completely ignoring Axton, letting the rock god know that he wasn’t worth her time.

If you want the God’s honest truth, I’d tell you that Wroth scared the ever-loving hell out of me. My daughter, however, had bigger balls than any man I knew because she turned her venomous glare on that huge hulk of a beast without so much as flinching. “And you. You think it would have been so easy for her to go down to West Bridge? Show up at your farm with a kid on her hip and ask you to pretty please tell Zander Brockman he was a daddy? She wanted him to know, not you or any other jerk-off. Him. My dad. So shut your mouth about my mom, you dick.”

Wroth’s mouth slowly closed and he blinked at Mieke several times without speaking. She rolled her eyes at him, obviously fed up with him and the rest of my bandmates. “What, nothing to say, big man? No big and bad comeback?” Her glare turned even icier. “Yeah, I thought so. You know what? Fuck you all. My mother is one hell of a woman and I’m not going to breathe the same air as anyone who is going to talk shit about her.” She lifted her head, pride rolling off her just as strongly as her anger. She flipped them off with both hands and turned to walk away, not even gracing them with a backward glance.

I waited until she was several feet away before turning my own glare on the three men who had just put down Annabelle. Over the years we’d had our ups and downs. We were closer now than we’d ever been, but we’d never be like the brothers Demon’s Wings had always been to each other. For me, this just pushed us back to before we’d cleared the air and tried to become a family instead of just bandmates. I couldn’t put up with these fuckers talking about Annabelle like that. If they said so much as another word about her, I’d gut them. Even Wroth.

“Do you guys not remember anything from all those years ago? I was so fucked-up all the time I couldn’t have taken care of Annabelle and a kid. Annabelle tried to tell me, but I was too stupid and hurting too much to listen to her. We all know that if I’d so much as heard her voice I’d have been back in Tennessee and said to hell with OtherWorld. So I stayed as far away from anything that even resembled a connection to her or Noah.” I raked my hands through my hair, trying to grab hold of my control but quickly losing hold. “I’ll admit it. I was a fucking pussy. I wanted this world and her, but didn’t think I could have them both. Didn’t think that I deserved them both. I’m the one at fault here. I’m the one to blame for missing out on watching my baby girl grow up. You know nothing about what Annabelle went through, or how much she needed me to be there with her, and I wouldn’t even pick up a fucking phone. So don’t go sprouting your shit to anyone else. I won’t have Annabelle’s name dragged through the mud while you and the press make me out to be the victim. I’m not. I was a goddamn pussy.”

“Z—” Axton started, but I lifted a hand, cutting him off. The look on my face must have told him that now was definitely not the time to try and reason with me, because he sat back down and shrank in his chair.

“No, I don’t want to hear your shit right now. I’m going after my daughter. I don’t want to see any of you fuckers for a while. Go home and play happy families while I go and try to put mine back together.” Following Mieke’s example, I flipped them a double bird and rushed after my little girl.

I caught up with Mieke out on the street. She was standing by the valet who was eyeing her in a way that made me want to put a fist through the kid’s face. I didn’t like the desire in the boy’s eyes as he looked at my little girl. Stepping in front of her, I blocked the guy’s view before handing over my valet ticket. Once he was out of sight, on his way to get my car, I turned my full attention on Mieke.

Her eyes were damp, but she hadn’t let a tear fall. My pride in her only grew. The way she’d just stood up to my bandmates—and especially to Wroth, something grown men would piss themselves doing—told me that Annabelle had raised our daughter right. To not take shit from anyone. I pulled her against my chest and kissed the top of her head.

“That didn’t go as I was expecting.”

She snorted. “Oh, yeah? What did you think would happen, Dad?”

“That they would take turns beating my face in while we ate a three-course meal.” That made her laugh and I was rewarded when she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight. I couldn’t resist kissing the top of her head again. “Everything you said in there was justified, sweetheart. I know I’m the one to blame for missing out on so much of your life. But that stops now. I want to be a part of your life as much as you will let me.”

Mieke lifted her head and I saw one tear finally spill down her cheek. “You think I blame you?” I shrugged, not sure how to answer her, not without crying like a fucking baby. She sighed and shook her head. “Dad, I don’t blame you. I don’t blame Mom, either. Okay, so I’m not exactly a hundred percent happy with either of you about it, but I don’t really blame anyone. You two were young and you both made some bad decisions…” An odd expression crossed her face and she laughed at herself. “I sound like my guidance counselor right now.”

“No, you sound like an adult. I don’t think I like that.” I lifted my hand and wiped away her tear with my thumb. “I don’t want to miss out on anything else, Mieke. Will you give me a chance to be a part of your life? Let me make up for some of the past?”

Another tear spilled over her bottom lashes and she gave me a wobbly smile. “Yeah, Dad. I’d like that.”

“Z…” Both our heads turned at the sound of Devlin’s voice. I lifted a brow at my best friend, not sure what to expect from him after what had just gone down in the restaurant. He’d remained completely quiet throughout the entire thing and I had no idea what he’d been thinking.

“Hey,” I greeted, tightening my hold on my daughter. I knew he wasn’t a danger to her physically, but after what had just happened inside, I wanted to shield her from the possible emotional pain that anyone else could load onto her small shoulders.

Devlin grinned and turned his gaze to the girl in my arms. “Natalie told me all about you this morning. Mieke, right?” He held out his hand and after a slight hesitation she shook it. “I’m Devlin Cutter. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mieke.”

“Yeah, you too.”

He lifted his phone in his other hand and shook it back and forth at her. “I have this great pizza place on speed dial that makes the best pizza in the world. Want to order a couple and go back to your dad’s place? I can call my kid and you two can get to know each other too.”

“She doesn’t eat pizza,” I hurried to tell the taller rocker.

“Who doesn’t eat pizza?” he grumbled.

“It’s a lactose thing,” I explained and Mieke grinned up at me, obviously happy that I had remembered.

“Okay, new plan. I’ll order pizzas for us and pasta for the lovely lady. Then call my wife to let her know I’ll be late getting home followed by a call to the Thorntons to tell my kid to get his ass over to your place.” Dev rolled his aquamarine eyes at Mieke, still grinning. “If he asks nice enough, he might get to bring Lucy.”

My apartment was crowded with people, pizza boxes and the biggest takeout container of spaghetti I’d ever seen. Thankfully Natalie had gotten someone from the housekeeping service in to clean up my apartment while I was out with Mieke all afternoon. She’d even had the fridge stocked with drinks and groceries.

We were all in the living room now, the huge flat-screen on mute as we all talked and got to know my daughter better. Natalie had decided she felt up to having dinner with us, something that rarely happened since she was having blood pressure issues with her pregnancy. She’d brought her sister, Jenna, with her. I was happy to see Jenna and Mieke getting along so well. It was nice to see that the other teenager had accepted my kid so quickly.

The two girls sat on the long couch with Jenna to Mieke’s left and Lucy Thornton and Harris to her right. Apparently Harris hadn’t had to ask nicely to bring his best friend. Lucy had batted her big dark eyes at her father and he’d caved within seconds. Typical. Jesse Thornton loved his adopted daughter just as much as his biological sons—maybe even more, because she was his baby girl.

It made me hope to have that kind of relationship with Mieke one day —to share the bond and love that Jesse and Lucy did so seamlessly with my little girl.

Fuck, I had to quit calling her a little girl. She was sixteen, looked even older. My Mieke was nearly a grown woman. Motherfucker, I’d missed out on so much I’d never get back and that didn’t sit well with my already fucked-up head.

The other kids were letting Mieke do most of the talking, and I was happy to hear her stories about growing up with a country music star like her uncle Noah. The country music scene wasn’t nearly as hardcore as our rocker world. Mostly it was more family orientated and every summer she would go on tour along with her cousins, Ben and Audrey.

The way she talked about her cousins, aunt and uncle, I could tell that she loved them. They had been there for her when she and her mother had needed their support the most, and I couldn’t even imagine how I was going to ever repay Noah for helping Annabelle take care of Mieke over the years. I doubted Hallmark made a card that said, “Thanks for playing daddy to my kid while I was off playing rock star.”

It was nearing nine thirty when my doorbell rang. No one moved until it had hit the fourteenth ring, every one of them knowing it would put me off for the rest of the night if I didn’t hear it fourteen times. Leaving my guests to finish their meal and conversation, I stood and answered the door.

Opening it up, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of Annabelle standing on the other side. Not only was my heart happy to see her, but my body instantly reacted at just the sight of her, and I shifted from one foot to the other to relieve some of the tightness in my jeans. “Hi,” she greeted quietly.

I shot a glance over my shoulder, saw that Mieke was lost in whatever she was telling the entranced people around her, and then stepped out of the apartment, leaving the door only slightly ajar so I could get back in. “Hi.” I lifted a hand, needing to touch some part of her to remind myself that she was real, that she was actually standing there in front of me.

I caught hold of her fingers and she stiffened for a second before seeming to force herself to relax. Her hand was so soft, so delicate. I wanted it stroking over my chest, over my thighs and wrapping around my aching cock.

“How did it go today? Did you and Mieke get along well?”

“We had a great time. I think she likes it here.” I grimaced, knowing I had to tell her the rest. “I had Natalie set up a dinner with just the guys. Everyone but Devlin tried to put the blame on you.” I watched as her jaw clenched and she lowered her eyes, not allowing me to see what she was feeling.

“Before I could set them straight, Mieke tore them a new one.” That had Annabelle’s head snapping up and I grinned. “Even Wroth. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. But then again, look at her mother.” I tightened my hold on her hand. “You did a great job raising her, Anna. She’s an amazing kid.”

Annabelle swallowed hard once, twice, and then cleared her throat. “I saw that you had guests, so I don’t want to interrupt. Natalie messaged me earlier and said that she’d gotten your spare room sorted for Mieke. I don’t mind her staying with you while we’re in town, but we’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

The thought of her leaving didn’t bother me as much as it might have before, because I wasn’t going to sit around in California while they went back to Tennessee without me. I’d be on the same flight with them, camped out in their front yard if I had to. I needed to be with them, but there were also things that I needed to do in Tennessee. First was to visit my baby daughter’s grave and tell her how sorry I was for not being there to hold her. And second, win back what I’d thrown away all those years ago when I’d left without Annabelle Cassidy.

“Thanks for letting her stay with me.” I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand and had to suppress my smirk when I saw gooseflesh pop up along her arm. So she wasn’t any more immune to me than I was to her.  That definitely worked in my favor. “Will you be at Emmie’s?”

She shook her head. “No. Nik and I had words this morning and I’d rather stay as far away from him as possible for the moment. Like the OtherWorld guys, he blames me for not telling you about Mieke.”

I dropped her hand, afraid that I’d crush it if I didn’t. “I’ll talk to him.” I hadn’t been expecting Nik to take sides in this shit-storm. I appreciated him sticking up for me, but not at the cost of Annabelle’s feelings.

Annabelle snorted. “Don’t bother. I’m not going to lose any sleep over what Nik Armstrong might think of me. I’m just going to get a hotel for the next few nights.”

“No.” There was no way in hell I was going to let her stay at a hotel. I was greedy for every second I could get from her, not to mention I would worry about her being alone like that. Whoever had shot Gabriella was still out there; who knew what else that crazy bitch would do next.

Sky-blue eyes narrowed on me, blond brows lifting. “No?”

“Don’t stay at a hotel, Anna. There’s no use wasting your money when I have a perfectly good bed right here.” I thought it was a good enough argument to make.

Her brows only lifted higher. “You have two bedrooms, Zander. One of them is Mieke’s and, while I love that girl with every breath in my body, I’d rather not have to see a chiropractor in the morning. She’s all over the place when she sleeps, all legs and arms that kick and flail.”

“So take my bed…” Blue eyes turned glacier and I rushed to continue, “…and I’ll take the couch. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself. For now.”

Those eyes I’d always loved—would always love—lost some of their frost, but she was still narrowing them at me. “You’re awfully cocky, Zander Brockman. How did I forget that about you?”

I ignored her question, knowing without a doubt she hadn’t forgotten so much as the smallest detail about me over the years. Fuck, it was the same for me. “Stay here, Anna. Let’s give Mieke a taste of what having both her parents under the same roof would feel like.”

Annabelle lowered her eyes to the carpeted hallway and I knew I’d hit a nerve for her. By the way she sucked in a shuddering breath, it must have been a painful nerve. Damn it, I hadn’t meant to hurt her. My goal in life from that day forward was to never hurt her again.

“Hell, Anna. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

She shook her pale-blond and hot-pink hair back from her face, lifting her gaze back to mine. The look in her eyes was so sad it broke my heart a little more. “You’re right, Z. It would be nice for Mieke to have us both for once. Even if it is only for a few more days.”

I thrust my hands into the front pockets of my jeans so I wouldn’t reach out and tuck a stray strand of hot-pink hair behind her ear. “I’m going back to Tennessee with you and our daughter when it’s time for you to go, babe. I want to see Michelle’s…grave.” Just saying that one word felt like I was being stabbed directly in the heart with a thousand daggers. “Plus, I want the chance to get to know Mieke better…and you.”

She flinched at the last part and took what seemed to me to be an involuntary step back. “It would be good for you to see where Michelle is buried, and I love the idea of you spending more time with Mieke. She’s going to enjoy that. But I am featured nowhere in your future. I’m nothing but your daughter’s mother. It begins and ends there, Zander. Our chance was over a long time ago.”

“Maybe it was, but then again, maybe it wasn’t. We’ll never know unless we try, Anna.” I was going to try my damnedest to prove to her our time wasn’t over.

It was just the beginning.