Текст книги "The Rocker Who Betrays Me"

Автор книги: Terri Browning

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“Mieke…” I rasped out, tears burning my eyes. I didn’t try to hold them back. Letting them fall freely, I pulled her even closer, practically squishing Annabelle against my chest in my need to hold Mieke just as close.

Motherfucking hell. I should have been there. I should have been there to hold her and her mother. Maybe if I had, none of that would have happened. Mieke wouldn’t have been taken… And maybe Michelle would have been there too. A choked sob escaped me.

Annabelle sighed my name in her sleep and wrapped her arms around me. She pressed a kiss into my chest, and I felt it even through the cotton of my shirt. Mieke draped an arm over her mother, her hand on my back as she held me just as close as I held her. Together we sandwiched Annabelle between us, protecting her from the bad memories.

Mieke fell asleep a little while later. The sound of her even breaths mixed with her mother’s calmed me enough that I was able to relax, but it was hours later before I even began to feel like sleeping. I didn’t dare move, but watched with a new determination as my two girls slept.

I hadn’t been there for them when they had needed me the most, but that stopped now. I was done hiding from my past fuck-ups. That shit was over and it was time I moved on instead of hiding from them and Annabelle. None of it mattered now.

I had a daughter to get to know and try to make up for not being in her life until now. My gaze dropped to the sleeping beauty curled against me, holding on to me as desperately in sleep as I wanted to hold on to her forever. “I love you, Anna. I’m not going anywhere ever again,” I promised her. “Tomorrow our new lives start. I swear to you, baby. We’ll start the life we should have had all along.”

 

C HAPTER N INETEEN

Annabelle

The ringing of the doorbell startled me awake. I jerked my head up, my eyes instantly opening. When I found myself in a room I didn’t recognize, I tensed. With the blinds open I could see that the room was painted in warm browns and the bed was a huge California king with chocolate-colored sheets and comforter.

And Zander Brockman was sound asleep beside me, his arm still around my waist, anchoring me to him.

The events of the night before flooded back into my mind and I dropped my head back onto the pillows as I tried to breathe through the memories I’d had to relive. I knew all about Layla and Jesse Thornton’s torment when their twin boys had been born so prematurely, but at least they hadn’t had to say goodbye to one of their precious babies. I understood exactly how Emmie had felt when Mia had almost been taken. She’d only had to live with the thought of her daughter being taken for less than an hour. I’d had days to imagine what was happening to my little girl in the hands of a stranger. The only thing that ever got me through it was imagining Michelle as Mieke’s guardian angel, watching over her twin during the time her sister was gone.

Thinking of my little baby in Heaven, watching over her sister, brought me peace and I was able to smile as a tear spilled from my eyes. I didn’t wipe it away. I’d never wipe away the memory of Michelle like that.

The sound of a voice I vaguely remembered followed by Mieke’s quiet reply had me lifting my head again. Frowning, I glanced at the bedroom door, slightly ajar. Seconds later the door was pushed open and the light was switched on, a frowning Natalie Cutter standing in the doorway.

Zander groaned and lifted his head to glare at the woman. “Go away, Nat. I’m trying to sleep here.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, making her baby bump stand out. “I can see that. My question is, why do you have guests? You never have guests. Especially not overnight ones.”

My eyes widened at what she’d said. Was her question seeking an actual answer, or was she telling me that Zander never had women in his apartment? I kind of hoped it was the latter, but quickly scolded myself at feeling such a stupid emotion where this man was concerned. Zander and hope just didn’t fit well with me. They never had.

His arm still around my waist, Zander pushed up onto his elbow. Yawning, he took his time answering the woman. “You know Annabelle,” he grumbled as he looked at her once more. “And that beautiful creature beside you is our daughter, Mieke.”

Natalie stood there for a full minute as if she hadn’t heard him. She didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. Then it was like someone had slapped her because she jerked and turned her head to give Mieke a thorough going-over with her blue-gray gaze. “Oh, my god,” she whispered and lifted her hand to her lips. “You look just like him.”

Mieke shrugged. “That tends to happen. It’s called genetics.”

I shot my daughter a frown, not appreciating her sarcasm. Why was she being rude? Having worked with the other woman, I’d discovered that she was not only nice and a good person to have in your corner when you felt like you were being pulled through a war zone, but she had a good heart. Natalie adored her stepson and the love she felt for her husband was unmistakable.

Natalie’s gaze narrowed before turning back to Zander. “No one ever mentioned you having a daughter, Z. This is all a little bizarre for me.”

“It’s a long story, Nat. One that will have to wait until I’ve had a few cups of coffee. Do you mind making a pot while Anna and I get up?”

The other woman shrugged. “Sure. I’ll get on that. I’m calling Dev, too. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”

“Probably because he didn’t know,” Mieke grumbled as she turned to go back toward the living room.

Natalie blinked after the girl. “For real?”

“Coffee, Nat. Please.” She shook her head as if to clear it, then nodded. “Shut the door.”

The door had barely shut behind her when Zander dropped back down onto the pillows, pulling me across his chest as he did. “It felt good to sleep with you in my arms again,” he murmured before brushing a kiss over my forehead.

Yes, it had, but I didn’t tell him that. There was no way in hell I was going to fall back into old habits where this sexier-than-sin man was concerned. “I need to get up.” I tried to pull away but he only tightened his arms around me. “Seriously, Zander. I have things to do.”

“Whatever it is you think you need to do, it can wait five minutes.” His tone was coaxing. His hands remained locked around me, but his fingers started rubbing soothing—and arousing—little circles just above my hips.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the little thrills of arousal that were waking up my entire body in a way it hadn’t been in far too many years to count. Feeling his damp, hot lips against my cheek and then lower to my jaw had me biting back a whimper. No, Annabelle. Stop this now before you can’t stop yourself.

I jerked away from him and jumped to my feet, straightening my wrinkled clothes to avoid looking at him. When some of the trembles had left my hands, I turned to face him. He was sitting up in bed with the covers pulled up to his waist. Ah, thank God. I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself from climbing back into bed with him if I’d seen the proof of his arousal that I’d felt only seconds ago flexing against my stomach. He was still wearing the sweatpants and old T-shirt from the night before, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t see his cock standing at attention through those layers of clothes. If there was anything I remembered about Zander, it was that he had nothing to be ashamed of in the cock department.

“Last night changes nothing between us, Zander. The only difference between this morning and yesterday is that you now know about your daughter.”

“Our daughter,” he corrected with a smug grin.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring his interruption. “It’s actually a relief that you know about her now. It’s obvious that she loves you and you should take advantage of the fact that she wants to spend some time with you. She’s going to college next year and then she’s going to be so busy with all of that, she will forget about everything and everyone else.”

It was still hard to believe that Mieke had skipped from fifth grade to seventh and now she was in her final year of high school. Because she’d been born so prematurely, the doctors had feared that she would have development delays that would affect her not only physically but also mentally. Considering the fact that she took after her father and he was so tall, even with Mieke’s above average height some could say that she was on the small side. As for mentally, her IQ was beyond average and bordering on genius.

Hence how she had been able to hack into her father’s bank statements and find his address.

She was growing up way too fast and all I wanted was to hit the pause button so I could hold onto her a little longer.

Zander’s brow furrowed as he glared at me. “I plan on spending every spare second I have with our daughter, Anna. But I want to get to know you again too. I have so much to make up for, not just to Mieke, but to you as well. The only thing that has changed about how I feel about you is time, and time has only made me love you more.”

I flinched at the word love. It felt like a physical blow to my chest it hurt so much. The sad part was that, even when I’d tried to hate Zander Brockman, I had still loved him with what little bit of my heart was left after he’d shattered it. Letting him back into my life and even more so into my heart was not an option, however. I knew I wouldn’t survive this time around if I let myself believe in him again.

Clenching my jaw, I finished tugging the majority of the wrinkles out of my shirt and turned for the door. “You should hurry, Zander. Maybe you could show Mieke around the city. She would enjoy that. I have meetings today. More loose ends to tie up so I can get back to Nashville.” And as far away from you as humanly possible.

“Damn it, Anna. Come back and talk to me,” he called after me.

I ignored him, something I’d learned from him how to do like a pro. Natalie and Mieke were in the kitchen. Natalie was by the coffee maker while Mieke sat at the island in the middle of the huge room. Seeing the look on my daughter’s face startled me. Why was she glaring at Natalie Cutter like she was the enemy? What the hell was her problem?

I touched her arm and her angry eyes lifted from where she was shooting daggers into Natalie’s turned back. “What’s wrong with you?” I whispered so as not to embarrass my child. I would never do that to Mieke.

The anger and pain in her eyes gutted me, but I didn’t understand why she was feeling like that. “She rang the doorbell forever, so I got up to answer it. But by the time I got there she was using a key to get in. A key, Mom. This chick has a key to Dad’s apartment, and it’s more than obvious that she is pregnant. Did he start a new family without us? Did he?”

I let out a deep, frustrated breath. The pain in her eyes and voice was excruciating to see and there was nothing I could do about it. Mieke had built up some kind of fairy tale in her mind —that one day her father would ride in and swoop the two of us up and we’d be a family again. I’d turned a blind eye to it, and only now did I realize how big of a mistake that had been. I knew Zander hadn’t started a family, but if he had, Mieke would have been destroyed right then.

“Honey, I know this is hard for you, and I understand why it would hurt you to think that your dad had a new family here while… But don’t stress yourself over this. Natalie is married to Devlin Cutter. That’s his baby in her belly. Trust me when I say that Dev would cut off your dad’s nuts and shove them down his throat before he let your dad touch his wife. Okay?”

Mieke shook her head. “That wasn’t the case over a year ago when the band was having issues and Dad and this Devlin guy were fighting over her.”

I couldn’t help but blink at the venom in Mieke’s voice any more than I could help the stab of pain straight to the center of my chest. Over the years I’d bent over backward to avoid any news about OtherWorld, but I knew that Mieke had kept up with the band through social media groups as well as the tabloids and entertainment shows. Even though Noah and I had tried to beat into her head that most of the tabloid stuff was just rumors at best, she had still continued to read anything she could get her hands on.

But even I had heard people talking about the possibility of OtherWorld breaking up due to an inner conflict between the band’s drummer and bassist. Apparently there had been a bet between the two best friends, and that bet had led to the breakup between Natalie and Devlin for over a year.

Mentally shaking away my pain, I grasped Mieke’s elbow a little firmer. “Nothing is going on between Nat and your dad, sweetheart. And even if there were, that is his business. Don’t get pissed because he has a life here.”

“But I am pissed,” she cried, her voice rising.

Natalie turned her head and raised a brow at the two of us. I gave her a small, grim smile and tugged on Mieke’s elbow. “Excuse us, Natalie. I need to—”

Mieke jerked away from my hold. “You don’t need to do anything.” She turned the full force of her glare on Natalie. “Are you knocked up with my little brother or sister, or what?”

Natalie’s lips twitched for a moment and then she was tossing her head back and laughing out loud. “Are you serious?” Mieke’s glare only turned icier and Natalie’s laugh stopped, but she was still grinning. “No, kid. This is one hundred percent Devlin Cutter’s baby girl. That thing between your dad and me was never more than friendship. Cool your jets, princess. I’m not the competition around here. Actually, you don’t have any competition. Z has always kept his demons to himself, but now I can see why he’s never hooked up with anyone while we were on the road.”

Mieke’s shoulders actually dropped in relief. “So Dad hasn’t ever had a girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend that I’ve ever seen, honey. And hookups were few and far between.” Natalie turned her blue-gray eyes on me, as if she was speaking solely to me now. “I’m not going to tell you the dude was a monk, but honestly it’s a pretty close call on that end. I always wondered why,” —she shrugged —“but now I don’t have to wonder anymore.”

I wasn’t lying when I told Zander I had meetings all day. There were things that needed my immediate attention so I could get my ass back to Nashville where it belonged. So I left Mieke—reluctantly—with Zander, who promised to show her all his favorite places in the city. Natalie had still been there and had promised she would plan them out a day and then send me an itinerary so I would at least know where my daughter was.

Pulling my rental car into Emmie’s driveway, I rushed inside and started up to the second floor when I nearly ran straight into the solid chest of Nik Armstrong. Letting out a squeak, I thought for sure I was going to fall backward down the stairs when strong hands caught me around the waist and steadied me.

Nik’s hands didn’t linger, just steadied me and let me go as soon as he was sure I wasn’t going to fall. “Whoa there, Annabelle. You okay?”

I grimaced and nodded up at him. “I’m good.”

Clear, ice-blue eyes narrowed on me as he lifted a brow. “Emmie said you went over to Z’s last night. Everything okay?”

Mentally I groaned but gave him a tight smile. He was bound to find out anyway so there was no use in lying about it. “My daughter decided to come into town. She’s going to be staying with her dad until I’m ready to go back to Nashville. Since she should be in school right now, it looks like I’m going to have to rush through what still needs my attention so I can get her stubborn ass home.”

Ice-blue eyes darkened for a moment and then he threw his head back and laughed out loud. “Are you telling me that Zander Brockman is the father of your daughter?” I didn’t return his laugh, merely nodding, causing Nik to abruptly stop laughing. “What the fuck? I had no idea he had a kid.”

I shrugged. “Neither did he until last night.”

The amusement faded completely and he glared down at me. “You kept his kid from him, Annabelle? Really? I thought better of you than that. That’s a low thing to do to anyone.”

Anger boiled in my veins at his instant judgment. I liked Nik —really, I did. He was a nice guy—mostly. He loved his family and his band-brothers, and when it came to his friends he was always ready to fight in their corner. However, anyone outside his small group of family and friends wasn’t honored enough to see the good guy he was. To everyone else, and especially to the paps, Nik could be a total dick. He had no idea what had happened between Zander and me, and honestly he had no room to judge. “This really isn’t any of your business, Nik. But even if it were, get your facts straight before you start condemning people. I tried to tell Zander I was pregnant so many times, I lost count. He didn’t want anything to do with me and completely ignored every attempt I made to get in contact with him. He didn’t want to know.”

I pushed past him as I finished climbing the stairs. At the top, I turned to glare down at him. “The Zander you know isn’t the same guy I was once in love with. I have no idea who this new version of him is, and I’m not even sure I want to know. If you think you should take sides, by all means take the side of your friend. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit around and let anyone make me out to be the bad guy in all of this. So fuck you, Nik Armstrong. Fuck you and anyone else who wants to believe that I kept Zander’s daughter from him on purpose.”

Without waiting on a reply, I hurried to the room that Emmie had lent me and rushed through a shower before dressing and throwing all my things into my suitcase. I’d find a hotel later, but there was no way in hell I was going to sleep under the same roof as Nik Armstrong.

Suitcase in hand, I rolled it downstairs and put it in my trunk before going to the small guesthouse that Emmie had turned into her office. I’d heard her telling Layla Thornton just a few days ago that she was going to find some office space downtown because she didn’t want to chance putting her family in even more danger by having clients coming in and out with her kids so close.

I didn’t bother to knock on the front door. Stepping into the little guesthouse/office, I saw Emmie’s secretary sitting behind her desk typing away. Rachel glanced up long enough to offer me a smile and nodded her head toward the closed door of Emmie’s office, which had once been a bedroom. “She’s free. Go on in.”

I gave her a nod in appreciation and stepped into Emmie’s domain. The little redhead was standing by the window looking out at the ocean as the waves hit the beach, a cellphone pressed to her ear. “I’m glad Dallas is feeling better and that Cannon didn’t catch it,” she was saying into the receiver. “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it for you. You just take care of your family, Ax. Yes…Okay. Love you, too. Bye.”

She turned to face me as she placed her cell on the big desk behind her. “Hey. Everything go okay at Zander’s last night?”

I glared down at her, still seething over my run-in with this woman’s husband. “It went better than expected, seeing as my daughter forced my hand and ended up meeting her father for the first time last night.”

I was watching Emmie’s face, so I wasn’t surprised to find her unaffected by my statement. I should have known that Emmie knew about Mieke and who her father was. Emmie knew everything about everyone she dealt with. It was one of the reasons she’d gone so far in her career so quickly. It was how she’d gotten the connections in the music world that she had. She had everyone she so much as spoke to investigated before she even shook their hand.

That didn’t mean I didn’t feel as if I’d been emotionally violated. She’d sent her henchman, Seller, to find out all the dirt he could on me before offering me the partnership deal. “How did he take it?”

I shrugged. “After he stopped throwing his guts up, he took it pretty well. How long have you known? About Mieke and Z, I mean?”

Emmie gave me half a smile. “About five minutes after I saw your reaction to Z at the hospital a few weeks ago. Seller gave me a full report the next day, but I’m not stupid. I can do basic math and I’m really good at reading people.”

“And obviously you didn’t share this intel with your husband.”

Green eyes narrowed. “Nik knows that I can’t always tell him things. If it’s important to him, our family, or the band, then fine, but I can’t tell him everything that I know about my clients and he understands that.”

“Well, he knows now. He was all kinds of ready to defend Zander. Since you offered me this partnership knowing all the dirty little details, I’m assuming you don’t care one way or another.”

“Annabelle, that is your business. I wasn’t going to use it to convince you to go into business with me. I wasn’t even looking for shit like that when I had Seller do the background check. All I wanted to know was if it would be risky doing business together. That’s it. You’re great at your job and you have awesome PR skills that I sometimes lack. During all those press conferences, I wanted to tell the paps to go fuck themselves, but you kept your cool. I need someone like that with me when things go to hell. And since you’ve been thinking about my offer, I have to at least assume I have something to offer you as well.”

She sat on the edge of her desk and crossed her arms over her chest. The look on her beautiful face was completely serious. “If Nik said something to upset you, I’m sorry. He’s a guy and guys tend to support each other even without knowing all the details. The OtherWorld guys are good friends with the Demons and that isn’t going to change. But Nik’s opinion doesn’t mirror my own. I still want you to be a part of this with me. Please, keep considering it.”

I knew Emmie’s reputation so I knew good and well how much that ‘please’ had cost her pride. That she had admitted to needing me soothed my own pride. A little. Pushing my hair away from my face, I crossed my arms over my chest, mimicking her. “Would I really get to work from Nashville?”

I hadn’t realized I was going to even ask that question when I opened my mouth, but once it was out, I knew that I was going to take her offer seriously. Maybe it was a good idea after all. Maybe it would make my life easier and I’d have more time with Mieke and the important things I’d missed out on in the last few years.

Green eyes brightened, as if she knew I was weakening toward her. “Yes. You would probably be home more often than you are now if we were partners. I’m not saying I won’t need you here or in New York or wherever the hell a shit-storm might be, but you will be in Nashville most of the time. We will share the workload together, and I plan on hiring a whole team to help us out. With the way technology is right now, we could do a lot of our important meetings via Skype or whatever else there is out there to help with that crap.”

The excitement in her voice was contagious and I found myself weakening that much more. Damn it.

“Between the two of us and Natalie, we can train a competent team that will make our lives so much easier. We can delegate, something Nik has been begging me to do for years now. All I need is you, Annabelle. You’re the missing piece to the puzzle to make all of that possible.”

Cursing under my breath, I dropped down into one of the chairs in front of Emmie’s desk and buried my face in my hands. “I’ll probably regret this tomorrow, but what the hell.” Dropping my hands from my face, I extended my right hand toward her. “Okay, fine. Let’s do this thing.”