Текст книги "The Rocker Who Betrays Me"

Автор книги: Terri Browning

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Not wanting Devlin to see how close to the surface my emotions were, I opened the passenger door of his truck and threw in my boots. Climbing in, I didn’t bother to speak to him as he backed out of the parking lot. Unable to stop myself, I took one last look up at the apartment and saw her standing in the doorway. Even from where I was, I could tell she was crying, but there still was a smile on her beautiful face.

Annabelle lifted her hand, waving goodbye. I had to swallow several times before I could breathe again. Fuck. Ah, motherfucking hell. My eyes stung, my heart hurt, and my head was already a tangled mess without her. Lifting my hand, I waved once before forcing my eyes away from the sight of the only chick who would always own my heart.

 

C HAPTER F OURTEEN

Annabelle

“That’s the last of the heavy stuff,” Noah said and groaned as he and Chelsea’s dad, Ben, put the old couch we’d had in the apartment back in West Bridge down in our new living room in Nashville.

I didn’t bother to glance up from where I was sorting through the boxes that were still stacked in the middle of the living room, trying to get all my stuff together so I could start unpacking in my new room. Noah and Chelsea had found this apartment on their last trip to Nashville the week before and we’d wasted no time in moving into it this weekend. I started my new school on Monday, but I couldn’t find any kind of enthusiasm for it.

I couldn’t find much enthusiasm for anything, really. It had been three weeks since Zander and the others had left, and I hadn’t heard a word from him. Every time I’d tried to call him, there had been no answer and I’d had to leave a message. There had been no return calls, no texts, no anything. I didn’t know whether to worry, be mad, or cry.

A million things had been filling my head. That he had lost his phone had been my first thought. Quickly followed by him regretting spending that last night with me, and wanting nothing to do with me now. And the worst… That he’d gone from my bed straight into someone else’s and wasn’t about to look back. That last one made me hurt to the point that I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do because I had no clue why I hadn’t heard from him. If he’d lost his phone, then he probably didn’t even realize that I had called. But if he’d been ignoring my calls, I didn’t want to keep knocking on a door that he wanted to keep closed.

A firm hand touched my shoulder and I jerked, not expecting the touch. Noah’s hold on my shoulder tightened. “Easy, honey. It’s just me.” He smiled down at me, but I could see the concern deep in his blue eyes. “Ben asked three times if you wanted something to eat and you didn’t hear him.”

I forced a smile to my lips as I looked over at Chelsea’s dad. “Thanks, Ben, but I’m not hungry.”

Ben smiled back. “Well, I’m going to order a few pizzas, sweetheart. So you can eat later if you feel like it.”

I nodded, but knew I wouldn’t be eating. Food held no appeal for me, it hadn’t practically from the moment I’d waved goodbye to Zander from the front door of the apartment in West Bridge. I only ate when Noah made me, and only then forcing it down through a throat that had been tight with tears for the past three weeks.

It took over three hours before I had my room unpacked. When I was done I took a shower to wash away the dust of the move and grabbed the keys I’d left on my dresser. I didn’t know why Zander had left me his truck and then acted like I didn’t exist, but I was glad to have the trusty old piece of metal.

Noah, Chelsea and Ben were in the kitchen eating the pizza Ben had ordered earlier, so I called a quick bye to them before rushing out the door. Our apartment was on the second floor so I ran down the stairs before anyone could ask where I was going. Starting the truck, I put it in gear and headed out of the city.

I’d been arguing with myself for the past two weeks about whether or not I should go see Gram, but I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe if I didn’t. I didn’t know if it was because I wanted to know if she’d heard from her grandson or if I just needed one of her hugs, but I had to see her. All the way to West Bridge I had to fight my tears, sometimes losing the battle.

With my hands on the wheel, I couldn’t help but glance at the little gold ring Zander had put on my finger. A promise, he’d said. That ring was a promise that it looked like he’d already broken. Yet as upset as I was, I couldn’t find the strength to take it off. It hadn’t left my finger since he’d put it on there.

I had to drive past the garage to get to Gram’s house. It was closed today, but it would reopen on Monday. Chelsea and Noah were going to drive down every day to keep it running, but we’d been talking about just selling it and banking the money in case of an emergency. After talking to Wade, and finding out he was ready to retire anyway, we hadn’t felt as guilty about selling it and possibly leaving him without a job. Still, it was the last connection we had to our father, and I was just as reluctant as Noah to let it go.

Pulling into the driveway of Gram’s house, I could smell whatever she’d made for dinner still lingering in the air. For the first time in weeks my stomach growled and I jumped out of the truck. As I walked toward the back door, I couldn’t help but glance over at my mother’s house. The yard needed mowing and Jacob’s car wasn’t in the driveway, making me wonder if she’d kicked him out.

I had no way of knowing because neither Noah nor I had heard so much as a word from our mother. It seemed like she was completely happy to have us both out of her life. Oddly enough, the thought of my mother practically abandoning me didn’t hurt anywhere near as bad as Zander possibly having done the same.

Chin trembling from that thought, I knocked on the back door and waited for Gram to answer it. The door opened less than a minute later and Gram stood on the other side, wiping her hands on her apron and smiling welcomingly at me.

“Annabelle,” she greeted, with so much warmth in her voice that some of the ice around my heart thawed slightly. “Honey, it’s so good to see your pretty face. Come in, come in.” Taking my hands she pulled me into her kitchen, her eyes skimming over me with a maternal eye. “You’ve lost weight, honey.”

I bit my lip, nodding. “Yes, ma’am. Just a little.”

She released my hand and went to the fridge, pulling out containers of leftovers. “Well, you sit down. I’m going to feed you and I best not hear any complaining. She took the containers to the stove and started heating up whatever she’d cooked for dinner. From the living room I could hear the television and Gramps coughing every now and then. “I still haven’t learned how to cook for just me and Zander’s grandfather. I keep thinking Zander will walk through the door and I need to fix enough for his bottomless stomach.”

Her voice was so full of sadness that my chin trembled even more. “Ha-have you heard from him?” I asked as I sat at the table.

Without turning to face me, Gram nodded. “He calls every few nights on that cellphone of his. Makes sure I have enough blood pressure medicine and everything else. He’s a good boy, my Zander. Always taking care of his grandma.”

I had to swallow my sob. So he hadn’t lost his cellphone. Blinking back tears, I sat there, trying to smile for Gram when she glanced at me over her shoulder every few minutes. When the food was heated up she put it all on a plate and set it in front of me with a glass of juice. “Now, you eat all of that and I’ll get you a slice of pie I managed to save earlier.”

My fingers shook as I lifted my fork, but I clenched them around the utensil so Gram wouldn’t see. Somehow I ate half the food she’d put in front of me, but I didn’t taste any of it. My stomach roiled, protesting the food, but I didn’t let Gram know that I was so close to being sick. While I’d eaten she’d gone on and on about how Zander was doing.

From what she told me, the band had an apartment in West Hollywood that they were sharing. They’d already made a recording of some of their songs and three record labels wanted to sign them. Rich Branson was holding off for a little longer before accepting any of them because he wanted to squeeze as much money out of the label as possible. Branson had advanced them some money and Zander had already mailed her a check so that she could get her next month’s worth of medication.

I’d been happy to shovel food into my mouth as Gram had talked. It meant I didn’t have to keep up with the conversation. I could see how proud of her grandson she was, could hear it in her voice as she spoke so lovingly of him. I knew what a good guy Zander was, she didn’t have to tell me that. What I couldn’t understand was why he hadn’t wanted to talk to me.

I didn’t eat everything on the plate, but Gram still offered me a slice of pie. Unable to eat another bite without throwing up what I’d already eaten, I declined her offer and quickly made my goodbyes. The little old lady hugged me close and kissed my cheek as I stepped back. “You come back and see me anytime, Annabelle. You promise me.”

I smiled through my tears. “Yes, Gram. I promise.” I kissed her wrinkled cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

All the way back to Nashville, I let myself cry, not caring when the sobs felt like they were tearing my heart loose from my chest cavity. I wanted to get it out of my system before I saw my brother again. I didn’t understand what had happened, why he didn’t want me anymore, and maybe that was why it hurt so much. The not knowing why was killing me.

Pulling into the apartment complex’s parking lot, I slid into the space that was reserved for our apartment and grabbed the cellphone I’d left on the seat while I’d been at Gram’s. Wiping away the last of the tears I’d let myself cry on the drive up, I punched in the number I knew by heart now. Lifting the phone to my ear, I waited for him to answer.

“You have reached—”

Hearing the automatic voicemail, I turned the phone off and threw it on the floor. “Why, Z? Why?” I whispered to the empty truck cab. “Why did you break your promise already?”

Zander

“Yo, Z. Your phone is ringing again, man.”

I lifted my gaze from where I’d been watching my fingers strum the strings on my bass to frown at Axton. He had my phone in his hand and he tossed it to me. Catching it with ease, I glanced down at the little screen, my stomach clenching as I prayed it wasn’t Annabelle again. I didn’t think I had the strength to ignore yet another call from her.

Seeing that it was my grandmother, I opened the little flip phone and put it to my ear. “Hey, Gram.”

“Merry Christmas, Zander, honey,” Gram greeted me happily.

I’d hated disappointing her when I’d told her the month before that I wouldn’t be able to make it home for Christmas. She’d understood, though. I had work to do in California, after all. We were still recording our first album and the process was taking a lot longer than anyone had first thought.

“Merry Christmas, Gram. How are you and Gramps feeling?” The last time I’d talked to her she’d had a dizzy spell and Gramps was fighting a bad case of flu.

“We’re good, honey. How are you and the boys? Are you eating enough?” Her concern for not only me but my band members as well made my chest tighten.

“Everyone is doing good, Gram.” My fingers started strumming over the strings on the bass again, unconsciously playing a Christmas song.

Everyone except me. I didn’t say that aloud, though. No use in making Gram worry. I hadn’t been okay since the day I’d left Tennessee, and from the way my head had yet to calm down, I knew I wasn’t likely to be ever okay again.

“That’s good, honey…” She paused and I knew there was a reason she’d called other than wanting to tell me Merry Christmas. It didn’t surprise me because Gram rarely called me using the cellphone I’d given her. She didn’t understand the damn thing, couldn’t see the numbers very well because she refused to wear her glasses, more often than not. “Annabelle came to see me this morning.”

Everything inside of me jerked as if I’d been electrocuted from the mention of her name. My fingers fumbled over the strings of the bass until I forced myself to stop and I leaned back in the chair I’d been parked in all morning, closing my eyes as pain exploded inside of me.

I thought I was handling being without her. As long as no one mentioned her name, I was able to keep my head on straight—straight enough to make it through the day at least. Her calls had been few and far between lately, something I was both thankful for and hated. She’d called at least three times a day in the beginning, but in the last few weeks she hadn’t called at all. Until the night before. I’d been lying in bed when the phone had rung and it had taken everything inside of me not to pick it up. To just hear her voice one more time.

I hadn’t let myself listen to the voicemails she’d left. Had made Devlin delete them for me because the temptation to hear her beautiful voice would have been too hard to resist if I’d been the one to do it. I didn’t want to know if she was crying or cussing, if she still loved me or hated my guts. It was safer not knowing. I could pretend when I didn’t know for sure. Gram hadn’t said anything about her to me and I hadn’t asked her if she’d heard anything from Annabelle or Noah.

It was better not to know what was going on with them. With her. She was better off…

“Oh yeah?” I tried to keep my tone even and I was proud of myself when my voice didn’t crack with all the emotion choking my throat.

“Yes. She’s been coming to visit every few weeks, but I hadn’t seen her in a while. I guess now that the garage has been sold she can’t make it down as often. She drove your truck down from Nashville. Brought me a box of those chocolate-cover cherries she knows I like so much and gave Gramps a tin can of that popcorn he loves.” Gram went on and on for a few minutes, telling me what a good girl Annabelle was and how she had missed her since she’d moved to Nashville.

“Anyway, she mentioned that she was trying to reach you, honey. She’s lost some weight, says she’s been fighting the flu like Gramps was. Poor thing didn’t look well at all.”

Concern for Annabelle made the ache in my chest throb. When I didn’t say anything, however, Gram let out a small sigh. “I didn’t know that you hadn’t spoken to her since you’d left, Zander. I thought you two were talking as much as we were?”

I clenched my jaw. “No.”

“Oh… Well, anyway, she wanted me to tell you that it was important that she talked to you. I even gave her your address so she could send you a letter, because she says she knows you probably don’t want to talk to her.” Gram’s voice became the one I remembered so well as a kid. The one she used when she was done playing games and wanted real answers. “Did you do something you shouldn’t, Zander Brockman?”

Another shot of pain sliced through my body. I wasn’t going to go down that road with my grandmother. It would probably break her heart to hear that I’d been doing a lot of things I shouldn’t lately. “She’s better off without me, Gram. I knew that before I left, I just tried to convince myself otherwise.”

“Ah, honey. You know that isn’t true. You and Annabelle have something special. Don’t throw that away because you’re doubting yourself.” Gram’s soft scolding made tears prick at my eyes.

“Gram…” I broke off, not knowing what to say to that. She didn’t know what I’d been doing since I’d left Tennessee, and I hoped to God she never did. She had no idea just how far I’d fallen.

“Okay, honey, okay. I’m not going to put my nose in your business. I know that you’re a grown man now. I just promised Annabelle that I’d pass along her message. Even if you don’t get your head out of your ass, she’s still going to send you a letter. Do yourself a favor and at least read it.”

“Yeah, Gram.” There was no way in hell I was going to read it.

“I love you, honey. Merry Christmas.”

“I love you, too.”

She hung up and I glared down at the silent phone in my hand.

“Gram okay?”

I didn’t bother to lift my head as Devlin dropped down onto the long couch in our living room. We all lived in the five-bedroom apartment owned by Rich Branson. Apparently he put all his new talent up for the first year as part of their contract. The place was huge and must have been costing the dude out the ass to rent for us, but I wasn’t going to complain. It kept a roof over my head while I sat around doing nothing on the days we weren’t in the studio recording.

“Yeah.”

“How about Gramps?” Devlin drummed his fingers on the leather couch’s arm.

“He’s fine.” Go the fuck away. Leave me alone.

“Uh-huh,” Devlin muttered. He was quiet for a while, but I could feel his eyes on me, watching me carefully. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. I didn’t blame him. If I were him I’d be watching the crazy dude a little closer too.

I’d had a lot of plans when I stepped on that damn tour bus all those weeks ago. I would go off to California and chase my dreams. When I got to a place where I could take care of Annabelle, I’d bring her out to be with me. We could have a happily-ever-after like she deserved.

The first two days I’d avoided my phone when she had called because it had hurt too much to be without her. It had taken us a week to get from Tennessee to California since Rich had offered us a real rock-star experience. We were playing at Hard Rock and other huge bars across the country and staying in the penthouses of stupidly expensive hotels.

I’d been diving into any bottle of liquor I could get my hands on, and—trust me—there had been plenty for me to drink. I wasn’t sure I was sober at all that entire week. My pain was easier to deal with when I was drinking. My heart didn’t ache nearly as bad for the girl I’d left behind when I was halfway through a bottle of expensive bourbon. I was numb and I liked that sensation.

Being in a constant numb state had its consequences, though. I’d found that out by the end of that week. I’d done things I couldn’t take back. Things that still haunted me. Things that had proven to me just how undeserving I truly was of Annabelle.

I hadn’t had anything harder than a beer since and I sure as hell hadn’t messed up like that again. My head, however, was still a mess. It was like a fucking hurricane in there, tossing shit at me at a hundred miles an hour and sometimes it became too much.

Which was why Devlin—and everyone else—walked on eggshells around me. It didn’t take much to set me off. The simplest things would send me over the edge into the abyss of craziness that left only destruction in my wake. I’d trashed hotel rooms that week and since then destroyed our apartment more than once. I’d started fights I knew I couldn’t win—yet somehow had. My fucked-up head was pushing me toward the edge of insanity and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to fight it anymore.

Hell, I’d even been so desperate for my end to come that I’d punched Wroth. He hadn’t obliged me. Wroth kept an eye on me, though—they all did. No one understood, though. They didn’t know what I was going through. Not even Devlin, whom I’d been friends with since we were little kids, could get what I was going through. He’d never gotten me. No one had except for Annabelle.

How long I sat there staring down at the damn phone, I wasn’t sure, but the sky was getting darker outside when it started to ring again. I jerked when I saw the number on the screen. Annabelle.

The air in my lungs turned to ice, making it hard to breathe. I closed my eyes, hurting like I’d never hurt before, and hurled the damn cellphone across the room. It exploded into a hundred pieces against the opposite wall.

 

C HAPTER F IFTEEN

Annabelle

Present Day

I just wanted to go home.

It had been over a month since I’d seen my brother and sister-in-law. Even longer since I’d seen Audrey, Ben, and Mieke. I was homesick, but not for my house or my own bed. I was homesick for my family. From the looks of it, I wasn’t going to get to go home anytime soon for even a brief visit.

Things were still ugly in California. I had an obligation to Gabriella and I wasn’t going to back away from what was required of me. That didn’t stop me from missing Noah, Chelsea and the kids so much, though. Our nightly talks on Skype or on FaceTime just weren’t enough. I wanted to hug them and be hugged.

At least I was in Southern California now. Gabriella was home, tucked into bed with Liam in the house that Emmie and I had been able to buy for them near Gabriella’s cousin Alexis. At Emmie’s invitation I was now sleeping in one of her guest bedrooms rather than living out of a suitcase in a hotel. Being around her and her adorable family helped with my homesickness, but at the same time made it that much worse. Especially when I saw her with her kids.

Sighing, I tried to toss my growing depression aside as I got out of bed and stepped into the shower in my en suite. By the time I returned to the bedroom it was to find I’d missed a call from home. Mieke. My heart clenched when I glanced at the time and realized she was probably too busy by now to call her back. That girl was crazy busy with taking prep tests for college and I was so freaking proud of her.

Swallowing my disappointment, I dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Emmie was already sitting at the kitchen table with her baby son when I walked in. Jagger gave me an adorable grin and a small wave as I went to the coffee pot for a giant mug of strong black coffee.

“Morning,” Emmie greeted. “Sleep well?”

It was the third night I’d slept at Emmie’s house and I’d slept better there than I had in the hotel. “Pretty good. What about you?” I turned to glance at her, taking in the dark circles under her big green eyes that she couldn’t hide with makeup.

“I got a few hours.”

I nodded, knowing for a fact that a few hours of sleep for Emmie was a hell of a lot more than she had been getting. I doubt she’d gotten a full night’s sleep since the attempted kidnapping of her daughter, Mia.

The housekeeper, Gail, came into the kitchen with an empty coffee cup. “Good morning, Miss Cassidy. Would you like something to eat?”

“I’ll just make myself some toast, but thanks.” I took a sip of my rich coffee. Somehow I’d gotten addicted to Jesse Thornton’s special recipe over the last few weeks. It had been the one thing that I’d basically been living off of after the hell Emmie and I’d had to deal with concerning the hospital, feds, press and any number of other shitty problems we’d been faced with. Now I basically lived off that damn recipe and my stomach was definitely not my friend for it.

“Okay. If you need anything let me know.” She placed the empty cup in the sink and went down the hall to what I assumed was the laundry room.

Emmie stood and walked over to the sink, rinsing out her cereal bowl before turning to face me. “Well, have you thought about my offer?”

I frowned down into my coffee. The day before, Emmie had made me an offer that I didn’t know if I was willing to accept or not. We’d made a great team working through the shit storm with Gabriella and the press and all the extra crap. Things could have been a hell of a lot worse if we hadn’t worked together like we had.

She wanted me to go into business with her. Meaning, turn her small client list and my slightly larger list—larger, yet not as well known—and merge. It was an amazing idea, offering me resources for the clients I already had that I hadn’t been able to before. Sure I had connections, but I doubted the president had the kind of connections that Emmie Armstrong did. With her as my partner I could open so many doors for my people.

It also meant moving across the country. Not seeing my family as often as I was used to. It was that thought alone that was holding me back. “I’m still thinking about it, Em.” I lifted my eyes and met her understanding gaze. “Can I have a few more days? I promise to have an answer for you by the weekend.”

She shrugged. “Take as much time as you need. I’m not going to take back the offer so consider it an open invitation.” She crossed back to the table and lifted her son into her arms. Jagger wrapped his arms around her neck happily, pressing a wet kiss to his momma’s cheek. “And just so you know, us being partners doesn’t mean you can’t still live in Tennessee. I know what’s waiting on you back there and realize how hard it will be to just uproot yourself like that. That’s the joys of technology, Annabelle.” With a wink she left me alone in the kitchen.

After eating my toast I grabbed the keys to my rental and headed out. It was only a few blocks from Emmie’s house in Malibu to the one Gabriella now lived in with her rocker fiancé. If I didn’t have to go into the city later I would have walked the short distance, but my lunch meeting was important and I didn’t want to be late. I parked behind Liam’s SUV and stepped out of the cute little sports car I’d rented.

There was another vehicle already in the driveway that I didn’t recognize. Figuring it was one of Gabriella’s relatives, I climbed the steps to the front porch and pressed the doorbell. Liam opened the door with a welcoming smile on his face. His clear blue eyes were so much more welcoming than the drug-clouded ones I remembered so well.

“Anna Banana,” he greeted with a grin. He lifted his coffee cup to his lips, taking a large swallow before stepping back. “Come in. She’s in the living room.”

I stepped into the house, dropping my keys on the table by the door. “How is she feeling?”

“Cranky,” he said with another grin. “Come on, I’ll protect you.”

Laughing, I followed him into the living room. My gaze went straight to the couch where Gabriella Moreitti was sitting with a fleece throw over her legs. She was sipping at a mug and pouting. As soon as she saw me, her eyes brightened. “Please tell me I get to go somewhere today?”

“I don’t care what Anna Banana says. You’re staying right there.” Liam bent and kissed his fiancée’s lips before sitting down on the couch’s arm beside her. “I mean it. You’re lucky I let your sexy ass out of bed.”

Brown eyes brightened, but she glared up at him. “No, you’re lucky I let your sexy ass out of bed.”

Liam shrugged. “Same difference,” he said with a sexy wink for her.

I snorted and pulled a few files out of my bag. “Sorry, babe. I haven’t come to spring you from your imprisonment yet. I just needed you to sign these before I send them to the record execs. Since your doctor says you can’t sing for a few more weeks, we have to postpone the scheduled time already set up with the producers.”

Her pout only got worse. “I’m completely fine. I don’t know why everyone wants to baby me. I could sing if I wanted to.”

“But you’re not going to,” Liam told her, not giving in when she turned those big pleading eyes on him. “Your new material will still be there when your doctors give the okay. Until then you aren’t going to do anything but sit here and keep me company.”

“Baby, I know you love me, but even I need a break from myself every now and then. I know you’re probably climbing your mental walls right now wondering how soon you can get out of the house for an hour to yourself.” Liam opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it again when she grinned at him. “It’s okay. I still love you.”

“Okay.” I set the files on the stone coffee table in front of her and sat down on the matching chair across from her. “You can go over those and let me know what changes you want. I’ll drop them off on my way into the city.”

“Hey, Brie. Do you want more tea while we’re in here?” I glanced up as Natalie Cutter stuck her head into the living room. “Oh, hi, Annabelle.”

I smiled up at her before letting my gaze drop to the small baby bump under her white T-shirt. “Hi. How are you?” The few times I’d gotten to talk to Emmie’s assistant, she’d told me she was having some blood pressure issues.

Natalie smiled. “No headaches today, but I’m sure that will change by the time I get over to Emmie’s. Can I get you a cup of coffee or something while we’re still in there destroying the kitchen?”

“No, thanks. I just swallowed half a pot over at Em’s.”

“Brie?”

“No, thanks, Nat. And you don’t have to clean up in there, you know. We have a housekeeper who is supposed to be by later.” Gabriella lifted her eyes from the documents I’d given her. “Devlin couldn’t have made that big of a mess.”

“If it had just been Dev, probably not. But you know if you get those two together that they do more playing than anything else.” Natalie rolled her eyes and turned back toward the kitchen. “Let me know if you need anything. You should rest as much as you can.”

Gabriella grimaced. “Why does everyone treat me like a baby? I’m fine now.”

“And that’s the way we want to keep you,” Liam muttered as he lifted his mug to his lips. Draining the rest of his coffee, he stood. “I’m going to get another cup and see what kind of mess those two jackasses made.”

I sat back in my chair after he left the room. “I didn’t expect you to have company. If I had, I would have called before I came over.”

Gabriella waved her hand dismissively. “You’re always welcome here, babe. I love seeing you. Natalie, Devlin and Zander just brought us some breakfast this morning. Natalie offered to do the dishes but Dev wouldn’t let her so he designated himself and Z to clean up. Apparently she’s in there cleaning up their mess plus our earlier one.”

Without my realizing it, my hands started to shake at the mention of Zander. Clenching them into fists, I sat up a little straighter in my chair. “Like I said, I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you had company.”

I wanted to jump up and run from the room. I didn’t want to be in the same state with Zander Brockman let alone the same house. For weeks I’d had to deal with seeing him in passing at the hospital. Each time I’d seen him it had felt like I was being stabbed in the chest with a knife.

I’d avoided so much as looking at him, but the few times I’d found myself giving in, it was to find his tortured green eyes staring at me. Green without the gold flecks. I’d felt destroyed seeing his eyes like that. Other than that first time he’d spoken to me, he’d kept his distance and I had been both glad and hurt to my very soul that he hadn’t tried to talk to me. Was it really so easy to forget all about me? To ignore me for so many years and pretend like I didn’t exist when I was in the same fucking room as him?