Текст книги "The Rocker Who Betrays Me"

Автор книги: Terri Browning

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

C HAPTER S EVEN

Annabelle

The weekend dragged by.

I tried to study for my make-up test, but couldn’t take in anything I read. My head ached from crying myself to sleep Saturday night and most of Sunday morning. Thankfully, Noah left me alone. I guess he realized I wasn’t in a good place because he brought me a Pop-Tart and a glass of orange juice—his equivalent to breakfast in bed—before heading out to spend the day with Chelsea.

Monday, I took the bus to school and went through the day on autopilot. Somehow I managed to get a B on my make-up test, but I honestly didn’t know how. Maybe my teacher took pity on me since I had dark circles under my red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes. Who knows, I was just glad to have the whole thing behind me.

After school I returned to the garage and worked a few hours in the office before climbing the steps to the apartment and doing my homework in bed. Noah had tried to talk to me, but I hadn’t had the energy to do more than answer him with as few words as possible. Even Wade had tried to get me to smile, a rare thing for the old mechanic, but I wasn’t able to make my face muscles work to satisfy him.

That became my routine for the rest of the week. School, work, then straight to bed to do homework. I didn’t sleep much during the night. I no longer needed to worry about a possible surprise attack so it wasn’t because I was scared to close my eyes. It was the lack of a certain warm body lying in bed next to me that kept me awake most of the night. I missed Zander. Missed his hogging the bed, missed his warm body curled behind me, holding me all night. Missed the damn scent of his harsh soap and mint shampoo he used. Missed the sound of his heart beating under my ear and the sound of his slight snore when he was tired after a long day of working.

I missed talking to him every day, damn it.

I should have been happy to be out of my mother’s house. I was safe with Noah, and I knew that it was where I needed to be. My heart, however, didn’t care that I was supposed to be happy. It missed Zander the most.

Finally, Friday arrived and I was able to pass a calculus quiz and a history exam without much trouble. Neither were the A’s that I was used to, but at least they were high enough scores that my teachers didn’t give me disappointed looks and a frigging lecture as they handed back the papers.

The last bell of the day rang and I tossed all my books into my backpack before following the rest of my classmates out. Pushing my hair back from my face, I headed to my bus¸ wanting nothing more than to get to work and have the week end.

“Annabelle!”

Great. Now I was hearing things. My mind told me that it was just a figment of my imagination, but it was my heart that had my head snapping up at the sound of Zander’s voice calling my name.

From across the parking lot, I spotted Zander climbing out of his truck and my heart actually stopped for a second. He was still dressed in his work clothes, but he wasn’t as disheveled as he normally was at the end of a workday. Briefly I wondered what he was doing there, since his workday didn’t end until five and it was only two thirty. That thought was quickly brushed aside as my gaze ate up the sight of the beautiful boy/man walking toward me with a determined gait to his step.

The uniform jeans and work shirt that stated he worked for the county DOT fit him well—the jeans hanging low on his narrow waist and the shirt pulled tight over his lean, muscular chest that I’d been aching to lay my head on. His hair was unkempt, as if he’d been running his fingers through the slightly curly locks all day. Even from the distance that still separated us, I could tell he had dark shadows under his hazel eyes, but there was no hazel remaining today; just pure green jade and a few golden flecks.

My heart twisted painfully, wondering how close to the edge he was feeling. The fewer gold flecks in those amazing eyes of his, the more his OCD seemed to rear its head.

I stood on the sidewalk, frozen with a mixture of excitement at seeing him for the first time in nearly a week and anxiety after the humiliating way I’d cried all over him. Other students had to move around me as they rushed to catch their buses or whatever ride they had home.

As Zander came closer he thrust his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. His jaw was clenched but his gaze was locked on me. I swallowed hard, wanting nothing more than to throw myself into his arms and beg him to hold me one more time. One more damn time. The only thing that kept me from doing just that was the knowledge that he wouldn’t want that. He was done holding me.

“Um…hi?” I greeted with a forced smile when he was only a few feet away.

“Hi.” His voice came out rough, as if he hadn’t spoken much that day.

I adjusted my heavy backpack on my shoulders and glanced at his truck, expecting to see Devlin sitting in the passenger seat. Of course he wasn’t since I hadn’t seen him the first time I’d looked that way. It wasn’t like Devlin Cutter would have been hard to miss, after all.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”

He shrugged. “I took half the day off.”

I frowned. “You did? But you never do that.” Not even when he was sick. He’d had the stomach flu at the beginning of the summer but he’d still gone to work. No one had wanted to be on the road crew with Zander that day.

He pulled his hands free from his jeans and offered one to me. “I couldn’t wait until after work to see you. Thought maybe I’d give you a ride home. Come on.”

I barely hesitated before putting my hand in his. My heart was doing backflips in my chest and my head was so curious, wondering what was going on, that it didn’t yell at me as I placed my hand in his much larger one. He linked his fingers through mine and everything inside of me seemed to relax for the first time all week. Suddenly it was easier to take a deep breath. My heart seemed to trip over itself as it started beating normally again. Stupidly, tears burned my eyes and I kept my face averted so he wouldn’t see them as he led me to his truck and helped me into the passenger seat.

I busied myself putting on my seatbelt as he climbed behind the steering wheel and started the truck. I kept my eyes on the buses that were slowly leaving the parking lot while he put the truck in reverse and backed out of the space he’d been lucky to find so close to the front of the school.

Somehow I was able to get my tears under control before he pulled into traffic and I let myself look at him again. His jaw was still clenched, but his shoulders didn’t look nearly as tense. For a brief second I wondered if he had missed me as much as I’d missed him over the past week, but quickly called myself an idiot for even thinking that it might be a possibility. He’d probably been jumping on his damn bed Saturday night he was so happy to be done with having to take care of me.

“How was school this week?”

“Not bad. I passed my make-up test and the ones we had today.” I leaned forward to fix my backpack where Zander had placed it at my feet, just to have something to do.

“I knew you would get your grades up if you weren’t so stressed at home.” He shot me a tight smile as he braked long enough for the bus in front of us to drop off a few students in front of several houses. “Everything else going okay?”

No, I wanted to scream at him. No, everything else is not going okay. I can’t sleep. I haven’t eaten. I miss you so damn much. But you don’t want me, Z. You don’t want me, and I’m dying.

Instead I forced another smile to my lips and shrugged. “Everything is good.”

I expected him to smile back, relieved that I was okay now that he had fixed everything for me and no longer had to worry about how I was coping. He didn’t smile. If anything, his jaw tensed even more and he turned his attention to the road as we followed behind the bus.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek and turned my head to watch the passing scenery through the passenger window as he drove on. Fall was my favorite time of year, and not just because it was my birthday. I loved the changing colors of the leaves and the cooler temperatures that teased at the coming winter. I was the type of girl who would rather be in a hoodie and sweats than a bikini top and shorts.

The trees passed in a blur and it took me several minutes before I realized we were no longer behind the bus, the same bus that would have driven past the garage. Blinking, I realized we were on one of the back roads that led to the Niall’s farm, one that not even they used all that often.

“What…?” I broke off when Zander hit the brakes and turned off the truck in the middle of the rarely-used dirt road. He unsnapped his seatbelt before turning on the bench seat and unsnapped mine.

He moved so fast I didn’t have time to think about my own reaction as he moved across the seat and wrapped his arms around me. Zander pulled me against his chest and buried his face in my hair and I melted against him, because it was exactly what I wanted.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you.” His voice came out rough, bordering almost on a growl. “I know it’s only been a week, but it feels like longer.”

I pressed my face into his chest, inhaling the mixture of sweat and soap. I loved the scent because it was completely Zander. “Missed you, too,” I whispered.

His hands stroked up and down my back and I thought I felt his lips in my hair, but figured it was wishful thinking. “I wanted to come see you on Sunday, but Chelsea thought you needed time to calm down. So I’ve waited all week, feeling like my damn heart would explode if I didn’t see you, but I gave you your fucking space Anna.”

Confusion flooded my head. Why would he want to see me if he was so damn glad to be done with me? Not understanding anything, I pulled back, even as my heart was screaming at me that we needed more of Zander’s hug than answers. “Why?”

He frowned. “Why what?”

I pushed at his chest, needing more space so that I could think clearly. “Why did you want to see me so bad if you were so glad to be rid of me? I figured you would have been celebrating with Devlin or something this week?”

The frown turned into something dangerous. His face hardened and his eyes took on that glow that told me his head was not in a good place. “For someone so smart, you can be a fucking idiot sometimes, Annabelle.” My mouth fell open, not sure how to react to that slap in the face. “I didn’t tell Noah what was going on because I was tired of taking care of you. I would fucking take care of you for the rest of my life and never complain about it. I didn’t care if you climbed through my window. Hell, it was something I looked forward to because when you were sleeping in my bed, I found the kind of peace I’ve been searching for all my life.”

My heart clenched painfully at the look on his face. His eyes started to turn back to hazel, his face unclenched and the way his lips tilted upward I knew he was telling me the truth. The look passed quickly and his eyes went back to the green and gold glow.

“You were hiding from the problem and I knew I couldn’t let you keep doing it no matter how much I loved being your hero. I was scared to death you were going to get hurt, and your grades were slipping. You deserved a better life than the one you were leading, babe.”

Tears burned my eyes, but this time I didn’t try to hide them from him. “Z—”

He cupped my face in his big, rough hands. “It’s okay if you hate me, Anna. I’ll take whatever shit you want to throw at me for breaking my promise. What I can’t handle, what my fucked-up mind can’t deal with, is you thinking I wanted to get rid of you. You’re my best friend, the only person who has ever gotten me and has never judged me. I’ve felt like I couldn’t fucking breathe without you this week. All I want is for you to be safe.” Using his thumbs under my jaw, he tilted my head back so that I had no choice but to meet his eyes head on. “Do you understand that?”

An errant tear spilled free. “Yes, Z.” It came out as a whisper, but it cut my throat on its way out, fighting for freedom past the huge lump choking me.

More gold flecks filled his eyes, but they didn’t turn back to hazel. The gold flamed down at me and I watched in fascination as he lowered his gaze from my eyes to my lips. Everything inside of me screamed in an intoxicated kind of excitement as I watched him lick his full bottom lip, as if he were thinking about tasting my mouth. Before my eyes, I watched his inner struggle, to kiss me or not.

Seeing that need in his eyes, that hunger that matched my own, made me suddenly feel powerful. Mix in his explanation of why he’d broken his promise and I realized that I’d been seriously blind when it came to Zander Brockman. Maybe he did care about me—want me—just as much as I did about him.

His inner struggle was making those gold flecks disappear again and I knew instinctively he wasn’t going to follow through with the kiss that I would have begged him for. Not wanting to lose this chance to have something I’d only been dreaming about, I lifted my hands to cover his on my face. Pulling his big, beautifully rough hands from my face, I moved closer.

Zander inhaled through his nose, making his nostrils flare in a way that was unspeakably sexy. Still holding onto his hands, I placed them at my waist and pressed my chest against his. The rapid beating of his pulse at the base of his neck caught my attention and I lifted one hand to touch it. His heartrate matched my own and gave me courage to do the one thing I knew he wouldn’t.

“You’re such a good man, Zander.” I brushed my lips over his jaw.

“I don’t feel like a good man right now, Anna.”

My lips lifted slightly in a smile. “That’s okay. I like it when you’re bad, too.” I let my lips skim along his jaw until I came to his chin. Abandoning the pulse at the base of his throat, I combed my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck and pressed another kiss to his slightly rough chin. “No one has ever kissed me before, you know,” I murmured. “I’ve never really wanted to kiss anyone until this summer. Then I kind of fell hard for this guy.”

His jaw clenched again, harder this time than it had been earlier. “Who?” His tone was low and rough, sounding a little gravelly and making the fine hairs on my body lift with excitement.

My small smiled turned into a grin. “Just a guy I know. He’s a little rough around the edges, but I like him that way. He’s got a bad reputation around this small-ass town, but no one realizes he’s got the biggest heart.” My other hand covered the middle of his chest, right over his racing heart. “He’s the kind of guy every scared little girl should have as a hero.”

A few more flecks of gold returned to his incredible green eyes and he leaned his forehead against mine. “Christ, Anna. I thought you were talking about some fucking tool from school.”

An unladylike snort left me. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Z.”

“Maybe.” He shook his head as he pulled back. “I’m no good for you, Annabelle. You shouldn’t want me. I’ll only bring you down, baby.”

My fingers tightened in his hair. “Don’t ever say that to me again, Zander Brockman. I’ll accept anything else that leaves your lips, but don’t you ever put yourself down to me.” It was my turn to force him to meet my gaze. I kept a strong hold on his hair, knowing that I was probably hurting him as I did it, but what he’d just said had not only pissed me off but hurt me. “You are the best man I know, second to no one. Not even my brother. You are a strong, kind man and I care about you. Very much.” With my whole heart.

“Anna—”

“If you’re going to say something to try to talk me out of it, you might as well hold your breath, because I don’t want to hear it.” I glared at him. “Hearing you say you aren’t good enough for me only pisses me off, Z. I know what I want and that’s you. You are the best thing in the world for me. No one else will do.”

His lips twisted in a disbelieving smile. “Stop it. You know…”

I couldn’t stand to hear another word coming from that sexy-as-sin mouth a second longer. I tugged his head down the few inches that separated us and sealed my lips to his, stopping whatever he might have said. His entire body stiffened.

All my anger at him over the way he’d put himself down evaporated in the force of the heat that consumed my entire body as I kissed Zander. His hands at my waist contracted but, after only a brief uncertain moment, he pulled me against his hard body, taking control and deepening the kiss. Surprised and thrilled from the way he was taking over, I opened my mouth.

His tongue brushed over mine and my senses stopped everything they were doing in that moment to take stock of his taste. Holy God. He tasted of the cinnamon candy he liked so much but also something else. It was just as spicy as the cinnamon but something much more potent, yet it was sweet too. Like the honey his grandmother put in her oatmeal cookies.

With a curse Zander pushed away from me and raked his hands through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. Ah fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Still lost in his taste, it took me a few seconds before I was able to make a coherent thought. I felt a sudden sense of loss. I’d only had it for a moment, but I already missed the feel of his hands on me, his lips on mine, his body heat soaking into my own. The next was disappointment. I wanted more, so much more.

“Zander.”

“I didn’t bring you out here to do this, Anna.” He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes as he breathed in deep breath after deep breath through his nose. “I just wanted to talk. To make you understand…” He broke off and shook his head without opening his eyes. “I told you I’m not a good man.”

“Was kissing me so wrong?” I whispered, hating that look of self-hate I saw on his face. Was that because of me? Had I forced this and made him hate himself because of it?

His eyes snapped open and he turned on the bench seat to face me. “Baby, kissing you feels like the most right thing in the world. But you’re sixteen and I’m almost nineteen. In this state, that makes you underage and me a bad man in the eyes of the law.”

I lifted a brow at him. “You’re only two years older than me, Z.”

It was his turn to glare. “That doesn’t mean anything, Annabelle.”

I smirked at him. “Actually it does. I’m going to be seventeen in a little over a week, and you’re still eighteen for several more. Even if you were up to four years older than me, you wouldn’t be breaking any laws. It’s called the Romeo and Juliet Law.”

“How do you even know that?”

I shrugged, still smirking at him. “I might have gone to the library and looked it up.” His brows lifted and I couldn’t help but blush. “I spent all summer daydreaming about you wanting me as much as I want you. I knew you would think your age would be a problem and I wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t get in trouble if by some miracle you decided you did want me.”

Zander growled something under his breath and started the truck. “Swear to me you aren’t joking, Anna.”

My smirk vanished. “I have a copy of the law in my backpack. Do you want to see it?”

“Fuck, yeah I do.”

My stomach did a little flip. Did that mean he wanted it to be true? I dampened my suddenly dry lips with the tip of my tongue. “Okay.” I reached for my backpack and pulled out the folded and creased sheet of paper that I’d photocopied from the library.

He pulled it from my fingertips and his green and gold gaze scanned over each word as he read it. Twice. I watched as he swallowed once, twice, a third time. Then, without looking at me, he put the truck in gear and drove me back to the garage.

Stepping out on his side, he offered me his hand and helped me out. I was about to turn to go into the office when his hand tightened around my fingers and I watched in fascination as he lifted my hand to kiss my knuckles. “I’ll see you soon, baby.”

My heart did a summersault in my chest and I grinned as I left him standing there and went into the office to get to work.