Текст книги "The First Last Boy"

Автор книги: Sonya Weiss

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Chapter Six

TANA

It was almost nine when Ryan pulled up outside my house. I’d told Brooklyn and Shelby to go on ahead since we were taking separate cars. Brooklyn had questioned whether or not Ryan was going to show when Shelby had given her a look and said, “For Tana, Ryan always shows up.”

I didn’t say anything to that because it was the truth. Ryan had always been around when I’d needed him. I stepped outside and locked the front door, then hurried to the Charger, shading my eyes at the brightness of the headlights cutting a path through the darkness. Ryan got out and jogged around the front to open the passenger door. “Hang on.” He dove into the car and pulled a box off the seat, then walked to stick it in the trunk. “Sorry. Cooper said he was going to drop by the party and that’s a piece for his car.”

“No problem.”

“Hey.” Ryan put out his arm to stop me from getting in. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

Puzzled, I frowned. “Earlier?”

“The garage.”

“You’re sorry for kissing me?” That would seriously suck if he did regret kissing me after how it had impacted me. I didn’t want him to be sorry.

His beautiful eyes darkened. “No, not for kissing you. I lost control. I shouldn’t have picked you up and put you on the desk like that. I let it go too far. The place is dirty and it stinks and—”

I put a finger against his lips. “I didn’t notice any of that.”

He put his hands on my waist in the same spot where his hands had been when he’d lifted me up onto the desk. “I gripped you pretty hard. Did I hurt you?”

A lump gathered in my throat at the concern on his face. On the outside, Ryan looked like trouble. It was more than his tattoos and muscled build. He had a toughness about him that said he’d lived life hard. But on the inside, in the part of him that he didn’t like anyone to see, he was both good and kind. “Yes, it hurt,” I said.

A muscle clenched in his jaw and I moved my hand to stroke the hard line of his skin. My hand tingled, my stomach tightened and I ached to pull him closer, to kiss him, to let the world stand still around us. “But only when you stopped.”

He cleared his throat and lowered his arm. “As long as you’re okay.”

To get into his car, I had to brush against him since he hadn’t moved from the spot. I heard his swift exhale and turned my head to look at him. The night played across his face, shadowing his expression. “What’s wrong?” I whispered, afraid to break the spell.

“Nothing.” He waited for me to get into the car and then closed the door. When he got into the car beside me, he reached for the radio and cranked it up, a habit he had when he didn’t want to talk.

By the time we reached Tristan’s sprawling house, the party was in full swing. Cars lined both sides of the street and light from the house spilled out across the manicured lawn. Music boomed through the open windows at an ear splitting level. I was surprised at the tension I felt. Once, I’d belonged here in the area of million dollar homes and expensive cars but now it felt like a world so far removed from anything I could ever imagine wanting to be part of.

After I climbed out of the car, I spotted several people I’d known from high school. Air kissing acquaintances who’d made my life hell as soon as the story of my father’s business crash made the rounds. I’d heard some of them were vacationing out of state and hadn’t expected them to be here or I never would have come tonight.

I stopped and Ryan bumped into me from behind. What the hell was I doing here? I didn’t belong. Turning around, I gripped his forearms, panic from the remembered pain writhing in me like a group of snakes. “I shouldn’t have come.”

His gaze drifted past me to the group I’d stared at, then swung back to me. “If you want to leave, we’ll leave.”

I leaned into him, drawing strength from his strength. “But? I can hear it in your voice.”

“Don’t run from the hard things.” He smoothed back a lock of my hair.

I clenched my hands into fists. “They taped a picture of my face onto a porn star’s body and put it on a wall in the boys’ bathroom. They’d written my phone number and the words “will fuck for food” underneath it.” I closed my eyes. I’d never forgotten that day or the laughter and taunts that followed the rest of that year. I’d been leered at and groped but none of that was something I’d shared with Ryan. The humiliation factor had been too high for me to want to say anything about it to anyone so I’d buried it.

He framed my face with his hands, his voice gentle and insistent. “Look at me.”

I opened my eyes and met his gaze, trying to stop my lower lip from trembling. “What?”

“If you run, it gets easier to do it every time after that.” He lowered his hands and gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up around his neck. “Tell me the word you see.”

Under the street light, I studied the tattoo artwork that covered the top portion of his well-defined chest. In the middle of the artwork was a small black cross and above it was the word courage in black script with the last four letters larger so that it looked like couRAGE.

“What does it mean?”

“It means find the courage to rage against the bullshit, the things in life that try to beat you down. It means taking back what others take from you.”

I traced the cross with my fingernail. “And this?”

His eyes darkened, filling with pain. “In memory of a friend.”

“What about this?” I touched the wide burn scar on his side.

“Had a steam iron held against me.”

I gasped. “How old were you?”

“Nine.” He pulled his shirt down, effectively closing me out of his past at the same time. “Do we go or do we stay?”

Behind him, Cooper pulled up in his car and honked the horn. Zane and Ryker got out of the passenger side and walked toward us.

“We stay,” I said even though I wasn’t sure I should.

Ryan smiled at that as the guys came up behind him and slapped him on the back.

Ryker slid his gaze over me. He was tall, dressed in jeans and a plain white T-shirt. Down both arms, he had full sleeve tattoos that were kind of deranged looking. I didn’t know much about Ryker. Only that his father was serving a life sentence at Rikers Island which is how he got his name. Dark, primitive, and dangerous was the vibe I got from Ryker. I shifted a step closer to Ryan.

A smile creased Ryker’s lips but never reached his eyes. “I don’t bite, baby.

“At least not this girl,” Ryan said, the threat clear in his tone when he stared at Ryker. He put his hand across my shoulder, pulling me against him and we walked into the house. The people that I’d grown up with didn’t flaunt jaw-dropping tattoos or have a fuck-with-me-at-your-own-risk attitude, so the sight of Ryan and his friends caused the buzz of conversation to abruptly cease. The girls were practically slobbering at the delicious sight of all the muscles and edgy good looks. Do-me-please was written on some of their faces. The guys with the girls were staring, bristling like dogs protecting a bone.

“You’re here!” Shelby ran up to us and threw her arms around me in a hug as if she hadn’t seen me in months. She squeezed my shoulders and whispered, “Tristan’s girlfriend is on her way. Introduce me to Cooper.”

“Um...Cooper, guys, this is my friend Shelby.”

She smiled, already more than a few drinks in. Her gaze fixated on Cooper and she leaned toward him to show off her cleavage, making her interest obvious. “I’ll save you a dance.”

Because she was beautiful, guys usually fell all over themselves to get close to Shelby. Not Cooper. He muttered that he needed a drink as he walked off.

Shelby looked hurt. “What’s his problem?”

“Who cares what his problem is.” Zane caught her hand. “I’ll dance with you.” He winked at me as he led her away.

I wasn’t worried about Shelby hanging with Zane. Of all Ryan’s friends, he was the safest bet. I searched the room for Brooklyn and didn’t see her, but since she’d come to the party with Shelby, I knew she had to be here somewhere.

Ryan and I walked into the midst of the gyrating bodies and I walked into his arms, pressing myself against him. When I flattened my breasts against the wall of his chest, the heat was hot and fast and unmistakable as it spread through my body. Unable to help it, I rested my hands on the back of his neck and stroked the ends of his hair. Each time he shifted, his jeans rubbed against the bareness of my thigh and the friction had me swallowing hard.

He put his hands on my lower back, urging me closer and I got the memo that he was as affected by our bodies pressed together as I was. I moved so that I deliberately brushed against his erection and he dug his fingers into my hip. Images flooded my mind and I imagined being back at the garage with Ryan only this time, instead of stopping, we’d carried it through until the end with me splayed across the desk as Ryan drove into me. The fantasy made me breathe harder. I swallowed and looked away from him.

Tristan made his way over to us, his eyes bloodshot and his words slurred. “Hey man, I’m taking over.” He bumped Ryan with his elbow and reached for my hand.

“No, Tristan.” I tried to tug free of his grasp.

Before Tristan could pull me away, Ryan’s hand clamped onto Tristan’s wrist. His eyes darkened and his face hardened as he squeezed until his knuckles were white. “She said no.”

“What the hell?” Tristan pulled back his fist and aimed a punch at Ryan, barely missed hitting me and ended up swinging himself around with Ryan still holding onto his wrist. Ryan moved away from me and jerked Tristan up into his face. “Go sleep it off.”

Tristan’s lips curved into a sneer. “Don’t tell me this piece of ass is your girlfriend. I shouldn’t be surprised. She’ll screw any—”

Ryan’s fist connected with Tristan’s jaw and the momentum pushed Tristan backward right into Ryker. Tristan howled and surged forward but couldn’t move thanks to Ryker. With a hard hold on his shoulder, Ryker gave him a shake that jarred Tristan’s teeth together. “You want a new face, Ryan will be glad to fucking oblige but let’s take it outside so girls don’t get caught in the crossfire.”

Three of Tristan’s friends stepped toward Ryan but stopped when Zane and Cooper appeared out of the crowd to flank him. The guys held a staring contest for a minute, then Tristan’s friends held their hands up and backed off.

“This is going in a bad direction. It’s time we book it,” Brooklyn said. “I only had the beer at your house so I’m good to drive but I can’t find Shelby.”

In the distance, the sound of sirens wailed over the thumping music. Brooklyn smacked her forehead. “Great. A neighbor probably called in.”

Cooper herded us toward the door. “Leave before the cops arrive.’

The last thing I wanted was to get busted but I wasn’t leaving my friends. “I’m not going anywhere without Shelby.” I tried to go past Cooper to find her but Ryan stopped me.

“Outside, Tana. I’ll find Shelby.”

The front door opened and thinking the cops were already here, everyone froze. “Tristan?” A high pitched voice carried over the music and the talking.

“The girlfriend.” Brooklyn snickered.

“What’s going on?” She looked around, her eyebrows drawing together in a frown.

A very drunk Shelby staggered into her and then giggled, wiping her hand down the girlfriend’s arm. “Oops. Sorry. Spilled a little drink there.” She peered down into her cup. “I don’t know what this is, but it’s great. I don’t feel a thing.” She wagged her pinky finger at the girlfriend. “Tristan invited Tana because he has a little...” Frowning, she searched for the word, then her face lit up as she wagged her finger again. “Woody? Boner? Ha ha, for Tana.”

The girlfriend looked murderous and Brooklyn and I each grabbed one of Shelby’s arms and tried to get her to leave with us but she fought us off. “No. No. I’m staying. I want to see this.”

Cooper cussed and grabbed Shelby’s drink, tossed it toward a table, then stooped and put his shoulder at her stomach. He stood with her and headed toward the front door.

Shelby clung to him, her lips pale. “Oh...everything is spinning. I don’t feel so good. I’m gonna be sick.”

Cooper whipped her onto her feet and aimed her head toward a bush beside the door.

“We’ve got her, man. Go.” Ryan and Cooper exchanged a look I didn’t understand.

“Coop’s on probation,” Zane said to me after Cooper reluctantly headed for his car.

“Rich girls are such a pain in the ass,” Ryker muttered and steered Shelby toward the street. “Come on, princess. Let’s get you back to the castle.”

Ryan and I ended up taking Shelby home and helped her sneak inside and upstairs to her bedroom. She reeked of alcohol and vomit. I couldn’t leave her like that or there’d be hell to pay when her mom saw her.

“I’m going to stay with her. I’ll get her to take me home in the morning.” I gave Ryan a hug and kissed the side of his face. “Thanks for going with me to the party even if it was a bust.”

“No problem.”

I lifted his hand and studied his knuckles. “Is your hand okay? You threw a pretty hard punch. Wait a second. What’s all this?” I rubbed my thumb across the multiple scars.

“Nothing.”

I let go of his hand. “You have so many secrets. Why won’t you share them with me?”

He tugged on a strand of my hair. “Does it matter?”

“You never know. Maybe I can help. You carry a lot of pain.” I shrugged my shoulders when he gave me that what-the-hell look. “It might not be obvious to everyone because it’s not like you’re an open book, but I guess I know you well enough to be able to read what you don’t say.”

“Tana, honey, if I wanted a therapist, I’d go find one.”

That irritated me. I wasn’t interested in psychoanalyzing him. I just wanted to be a part of him. All of him. “Why are you so afraid to let me all the way in?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” He glanced at Shelby when she rolled over on the bed and moaned. “Are you coming by tomorrow?”

I sighed as he slammed the emotional door in my face yet again. “I’m planning on stopping by.” Every Sunday I went to his house to drop off bags of food my boss gave me to give to Mama Leena to take to the food pantry at her church.

“See you then.” He gave me a one armed hug and left Shelby’s room.

***

Sunday afternoon, I drove to Ryan’s house. My nerves were live wires, sparking and dancing within my body. The anticipation of seeing him again grew with each mile. I’d always looked forward to seeing him, but this time was different and that difference had begun when he’d kissed me at the garage. I’d always known that there was something a little wild in Ryan, something that he kept caged around me. But that kiss had opened the cage door, giving me a taste of the wildness.

He was in the driveway, the hood up on his Charger, music blaring from the speakers. He didn’t have a shirt on and I swallowed hard as my eyes drank in the beauty of his body. He moved so deliberately, like he was prepared for anything. The sun glistened over him, highlighting the tattoos and the contours of his abdomen. His jeans hung low and it made me think of the bullet scar on his thigh.

I parked and got out, forcing my legs to carry me closer to the guy who’d caused me to lose sleep last night. I’d tossed and turned over the blows I’d sensed life had given him. Wanting to absorb the wounds he carried, I’d ached to wrap my arms around him and comfort him in any way I could. My thoughts were churning as I walked but I schooled my face into a we’re-just-friends-nothing’s-troubling-me expression.

Typical Ryan, he didn’t say anything when I approached, just watched me with those blue-green eyes of his that made me crazy with need. I hoped the longing didn’t show in my eyes but it probably did. I worried that if he thought I wasn’t cool about us, he’d call off us being together. Or he wouldn’t but would think I was an idiot.

“What are you working on?” I asked.

“Don’t.” He put his arm out when I started to lean against the car and my hip rested against his hand instead of the metal. “It’s greasy.”

The last thing on my mind was keeping the short denim skirt I wore clean. Taking out the key Shelby had given me to her grandparents’ vacation house, I held it up. “I have a house for us.”

He frowned at it. “I told you I’d find a place.”

The heat from his hand was burning a hole through my skirt. “I know, but this was available. It’s by the Huron River. I’ve been there before and it’s really nice. We’d be able to spend the night.” My heart beat in slow motion while I waited for his answer.

Ryan stared at me and his lips thinned. “I never spend the night.”

His meaning was clear. Ryan fucked. He didn’t do relationships. I didn’t take offense. “It won’t be different from what you normally do. Spending the night won’t mean anything, okay? I thought it would be nice, that’s all.”

He finally nodded and then slowly moved his hand.

Relief flooded me. “So what are you working on?” He was my best friend and we’d always had an easy time together and now I had to think up ways to carry on a conversation because I felt so stupid and awkward around him.

“The temperature gauge is riding too high. Radiator’s cracked so I’m putting in a new one.”

“Oh...that’s good.” I had to turn my gaze away from him. The shyness I felt coupled with how good he looked made it hard to keep eye contact.

He sighed and picked up a rag lying on the side of the hood. Wiping his hands, he said, “What?”

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. We’d always been honest with each and I didn’t want that to change. “I feel different since you kissed me. Shaky. Unsure of myself, I guess. There’s an awareness of you now that I didn’t have before.”

“Tana, if you’re not ready, you don’t have to have sex just because you have it written down on some damn goal list.”

His words made me feel like I was a nerd with a to-do list waiting to be checked off. Graduate high school. Check. Lose virginity. Check. Go to college. “Oh, wow. I thought if it was written down, there was no way out. Thanks for explaining.”

“Don’t be a smart ass. You know what I mean.”

“I do, and I want to have sex. With you.”

He crossed his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I was drawn to the way his arm muscles bulged. “You won’t.” I smiled.

“I’m not talking about your body.”

My smile faded. I wanted to tell him there was no way in a billion years that he’d ever hurt my heart but the truth was, I wasn’t as sure as I used to be when this all started that I’d be able to leave for college with my heart intact. Not when it came to leaving Ryan behind.

Because I was trying hard to be cool and blasé about the heaviness of the conversation and what we were going to do next weekend, I meant to playfully flick his arm but it didn’t work out that way. My hand found the end of the tattoo that snaked around his elbow and trailed up to his shoulder. I couldn’t let go. Shifting my weight, I leaned forward and kissed his bare chest. He tasted like the summer sun, just as hot and sizzling. “It’ll be fine, Ryan.”

He sucked in a breath, pushing my chin up, my lips away from his body. “Next weekend.”

“Are you playing hard to get?” I joked, embarrassed that he hadn’t wanted me touching him.

“I’m not playing at hard, that’s for damn sure.”

I cleared my throat. “I can get some books if we need to for the weekend.”

“Books?” Puzzled, his eyebrows went up. “You want to read?”

“Certain books, you know. Like Kama Sutra ones or something.” I ducked my head, my face flaming, unable to hold his penetrating gaze.

“Shit, Tana.” He laughed. “I don’t need instructions.”

His laughter pissed me off and I looked up to glare at him. “I know you’re not Mr. Innocent, but I also know that some guys think they’re better at sex than they really are. I also know you have a reputation but those girls weren’t friends like you and I are. I thought maybe you’d find it difficult, that’s all.”

We stared at each for what felt like forever, then he finally said, “I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

Why was there always such a tangle of emotions within me when it came to Ryan?

Mama Leena’s minivan pulled up behind the Charger. Destiny bounded out of the passenger side. “Tana, hey.” She gave me a hug. “Are you here to hassle Ryan?”

“I’m trying.”

“Good. Come in. I want to show you something.”

After one final look at Ryan, I went with Destiny into her room and sat on her bed. Until last year, her room looked like it could be an advertisement for a Barbie doll convention because everything from the walls to the ruffled curtains was pink and girly. Even the carpet was once pink.

Destiny was Mama Leena’s only girl and the only child that lived after Mama Leena had a couple of miscarriages and one stillborn baby. Some people said losing the other babies were the reason she took in foster kids but I think it was because Mama Leena had a big heart.

Now the room was done in white and bronze colors with posters of Destiny’s favorite singers on the walls. She pulled a sketchbook from beneath the mattress.

I flipped through sketch after sketch until I saw the new ones. “Have you talked to your mama yet?” I paused at the sketch of Ryan, Juvante, Roman and Clarke standing together, their arms draped over one another’s shoulders. She’d captured Ryan’s expression dead on. Without realizing I was doing it, I traced my finger along the outline of his face, imagining what it would be to freely run my hands along his skin.

“You and Ryan, huh?” She smirked.

I jerked my finger back, feeling the blush stain my cheeks. “We’re just friends.”

“Uh huh and Juvante is a choir boy.” She took the sketchbook back. “I know that look, Tana.”

“Did you talk with your mom?” I guided the conversation back.

“Not yet. I’m going to when school starts back in the fall. I can take art as an elective. Mama thinks I need to take another math or science. So she’s not going to be too happy with me.” Her face puckered at the thought.

Destiny was the most creative person I knew. Besides her artwork, she had a knack for making clothes. When she’d worn one of her creations to school last year, other girls had begged her to make one of the dresses for them. She wanted to go into fashion design. Mama Leena thought she needed a business degree.

“I sewed this for Mark.” Destiny knelt and dug around until she pulled out a wad of material. “For Halloween.”

I unfolded the Spiderman costume. Creature was all about the superheroes. “He’s going to love it.” I looked at my watch. “I need to go.”

Mama Leena called for Destiny and she sighed. “We’re supposed to go over a list of accelerated classes I can take this summer. Just once I wish she’d let me have a summer off and stop pushing me. She’s determined I’m going to take over her business someday.”

“She worries about you and your future. You should talk to her. Tell her what you really want to do.”

“Uh huh. You know once she has her mind made up, it’s hard to get her to see any other way.” Destiny looked sad, then shook it off and pushed me toward the door. “Get out there and hassle Ryan some more.”

Smiling, I walked back outside onto the porch and looked out across the yard. Juvante stood beside Ryan and the two were in deep conversation. I made my way down the steps toward them and as I approached, I thought I heard Juvante mention Chanos’ name but both of them fell silent when they saw me so I wasn’t sure.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, looking first at Juvante, then Ryan.

“Yeah,” they both said in unison.

“Do you want to come by the house tomorrow?” I asked Ryan. “I have the day off.”

“No. I’ll be busy tomorrow.”

The way he said it, so short and clipped wasn’t the way that he usually spoke to me. He was blowing me off? With a shrug, I walked to my car.

I heard Juvante say, “Man, you hurt her feelings. Go kiss your girl and make up.”

I gritted my teeth and walked faster. I didn’t want to be Ryan’s pity case. Why he said he’d be with me if he didn’t want to was something I couldn’t figure out, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to put up with it.

Ryan muttered something I didn’t catch. Then loudly, “Tana.” He jogged up beside me and shot a dirty look back at Juvante.

I decided to test him, to see if he wanted out. “You want to pick me up on Friday and take my car or yours? It would probably be better if we took yours because my Mom’s has been acting up. This way, she’ll have mine in case she needs it.”

“We can take mine.”

“Okay, then.” I said, trying to keep my voice flat, like nothing bothered me. Like the fact that I was going to have sex with my best friend wasn’t tying me up in hundreds of knots. Like my head wasn’t calling me all kinds of a fool.

“Tana.” He held my arm to stop me. “I’m not going to hang with you because I don’t want to do something stupid with you before it’s time, okay? That’s all it is.”

Something stupid? “I told you, if you don’t want to, tell me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t know what it might do to our friendship.”

“It’s not going to change us. Everything will be okay,” I said. “I forgot to tell you yesterday that Brooklyn mentioned a going away cookout at her house Thursday night for me and Shelby. Her family will be gone so she’ll have the house to herself. Knowing her, there will be plenty of alcohol. You want to go?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled. “Okay.”

I tiptoed up, intending to kiss his cheek the way I had hundreds of times before, but the kiss landed on his lips instead because he moved his head. Ryan hesitated at first, then kissed me back, hard, fast, and thoroughly, only pulling back when Juvante yelled out suggestions.

“I’ll see you Thursday,” he said when we parted from the embrace.

His eyes were shuttered, closing me out so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Not that I had any great insight into Ryan but something that scared me to think about was what if the closer we became physically, the more he pulled away emotionally? I couldn’t let that happen. I had to do whatever it took to put our friendship back on track. I had to be breezy and act like I didn’t think about him a lot more often. I had to make sure that he knew I wasn’t trying to make more of what was going on than friendship.

*

RYAN

Thursday wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. Brooklyn was throwing the cookout to say goodbye to her friends since they were going to head off to college and she was staying behind. For me, it should have been like it always had with Tana. Two friends hanging and catching a ride together. Until she walked out of her house and suddenly I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I don’t know where the fuck Tana got that scrap of material she was wearing, but there wasn’t enough of it to be called a dress.

The fact that I didn’t want other guys looking at how much of her it revealed burned within me. I wasn’t some jealous prick who thought a guy had a right to approve or disapprove how a girl dressed. I didn’t think a guy had the right to act like a jealous ass, especially if he wasn’t even in a relationship with the girl. I was angrier with myself about that more than anything. The boundaries of our friendship kept sliding closer together and the lines were starting to blur. It was supposed to be Tana. Ryan. Not Tana and Ryan as in a couple. So why the fuck was I thinking like we were part of a couple? Not wanting other guys to look. Or to be with her. Why was she all the fuck I could think about lately?

As soon as I parked outside Brooklyn’s house, Tana swung the car door open. She sent me a friendly smile that only made the churning inside of me get worse. “Thanks for the ride. We don’t have to enter together. That way, if you see someone you want to hook up with, she won’t get the wrong impression that you’re with me.”

Her comment first stunned, then pissed me off. “It doesn’t bother you?”

She picked up the small purse she’d brought along and checked the contents before snapping it shut. In the makeup she had on, her eyes looked darker, more mysterious. “It’s what you do, Ryan. We’re not in a relationship. Go in and have fun.” She slid from the car and the back of her dress eased up enough for me to get a glimpse of her tanned thigh and the swell of her tight ass.

I exited the car and trailed behind her, liking the way that her hips swung in the dress. What she’d said in the car had thrown me out of sorts and my stomach felt weird. I tried to think friends-only thoughts as I watched her, but it was hard to concentrate when I knew that soon there would be nothing between us but our heartbeats.

Inside the packed house, it was like goddamn mating season on the farm. In seconds Tana was surrounded by assholes masquerading as guys. I’d gone to school with two of them. The other one I didn’t recognize.

“Niiiice, Tana,” Asshole #1 said and reached out to stroke her shoulder.

I forced myself to keep walking even though I’d like to rip his hand off and hold it up over my head like a trophy. Wall to wall people gyrated to the thumping rock music, bumping into one another, laughing and shrieking. I threaded my way through them to the kitchen where Brooklyn had a variety of liquor displayed. One of the demons from my past that I’d turned to one too many times waited for me in the group. I looked away. I didn’t let myself go that far any more. I still drank but not to the point that I couldn’t even remember my own fucking name.

Brooklyn swayed up to me, sipping from a Solo cup, her eyes amused over the rim. When she lowered it, she looked pointedly in Tana’s direction and said, “Can’t believe you walked away from that.”

I poured myself a Coke.

Her mouth dropped. “You’re not drinking?”

“I’m driving.”

She looked past me, then back. “I can get someone else to take you home, so feel free to have a few.”

“I came with Tana. I’m driving her home.”

She slapped her forehead, then smirked. “Oh, that’s right. And as a good friend, you want to make sure you’re there for her. As her friend, you want to watch out for her. You’re not fooling me, Ryan.”

“Fuck off.”

She leaned closer and smiled, reminding me of a cat watching a mouse. “It’s okay. I won’t tell her.” Brooklyn irritated me sometimes, but not half as bad as Tana’s friend Shelby.